The Fiery Heart
by ehlymana
Summary: This story begins immediately after the ending of TIS. Chapter 1 of the real TFH is very different, but the coven meeting and the divorce will be mentioned too. I'll use tweets of PTA, RM quotes and excerpts. Feel free to request anything, review! There is a lot of fluff in the story, but we will have magic, vampire hunters and re-education involved! I update daily.
1. Chapter 1, part one: Spirit Dream

**Author's note:** _First of all, I need to mention my devoted friend HopperIvashkinator. She is a wonderful writer and a fantastic friend, and if I didn't have her, I would have never even thought about writing. I hope you will like this, and since this is my first Fanfic, don't be too hard on me. All characters belong to the wonderful Richelle Mead, and probably the plot. I just tried to put all the quotes and tweets together. :)_

* * *

It was like I was pulled into one of my worst nightmares.

Zoe was in my room in Amberwood, sprawled on my bed. If only this was the case, I would have been happy to see her. But no. Each time I tried to forget that Zoe was here on a mission, I saw the golden lily on her left cheek. It made me sick every time I saw it.

I didn't know what to do. It was 2 AM and I couldn't sleep. _Should I send a text to Adrian saying that we need to meet in a spirit dream?_ No, I don't want him to use any more spirit. It can wait for the morning, and anyway, he told me he was going to call me first thing in the morning. I could wait until then. Could I?

I took a glance at Zoe again. She looked so peaceful that I wanted to cry. Why was she really here? Partially I could understand the story that "it'd be the best if she, a junior Alchemist, stayed with her sister". I could also understand Stanton's motives for sending an Alchemist backup – Zoe said it herself. But I felt so guilty... My sister, who I wanted to protect all these years was just nonchalantly sent here as backup. No big deal. Even if I didn't have anything to hide, it _would _be a big deal. But an Alchemist – Zoe, here, now, as a backup, while I was practicing magic, uncovering the Alchemists and their business with the vampire hunters... It was disastrous. Dreadful. Terrible. Terrifying. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And no, I wouldn't fall asleep that night. I couldn't.

I also had doubts. Maybe the Alchemists somehow found out about Adrian, or about Alicia and the magic, or about Ian and my break into their records? Maybe Zoe was sent here to keep an eye on me, to report to them if she saw anything suspicious. Maybe that was the reason why she wasn't angry at me anymore – she was just acting and... No. No. Zoe wasn't like that. She wasn't angry anymore and she was happy because she always wanted to be an Alchemist. She was sent here as backup, to help me find some "normality" and "humanity" while I was surrounded with Moroi and dhampirs. The Alchemists didn't know. Yet.

So, I finally concluded that I was stuck and that I didn't know what to do. I didn't doubt that Zoe would report me if she knew about my involvement with Adrian, magic and if she knew that I was working undercover to uncover the Alchemists. Maybe she would take my side of the story into consideration if she didn't have that golden lily on her cheek. But she did. And the spells, the compulsion making her be loyal to them was too strong. I didn't doubt that, but it made me sick. My little sister was part of them now, and I wasn't anymore. I started referring to the Alchemists as _them_ long ago. I wasn't loyal anymore, and I didn't want to be. As Adrian once said, I was just a part of a machine that treated me like that – like a piece of a mayor society. I didn't want to be that anymore, and I wasn't. But maybe Marcus was also right – maybe I couldn't pull this off on my own. Maybe they'd really send me to Re-education. But that morning I came to peace with this – it was worth it. And most of all, more than magic and feeling free and powerful and finally in charge of my own life, Adrian was worth it. I made my decision, and I knew that I'd need to be more careful now, but Zoe wasn't going to stop me. I'd try to break her tattoo somehow too, but not now. First, she needed to realise that vampires and dhampirs weren't "evil creatures of night". She needed to realise that the Alchemists weren't what they claimed to be. But how would I prove all of that to her? It took three years, Rose Hathaway, Adrian Ivashkov, Marcus Finch and Jackie Terwilliger for me to realise this. Zoe was one of them now, and until I got to her, hoping that she'd trust her own sister, I needed to understand that I couldn't protect her anymore. Actually, I needed to protect myself from her now. _No, not from her, Sydney. From the Alchemists. It's their fault._

And at around 3 AM, depression turned into anger. How could they do this to me? How could they do this to her? How could they do this to mum? Why her? Why not anybody else? I knew answer to these last two questions – it was all my fault! If I hadn't called Stanton and said that "I couldn't handle all these Moroi by myself", Zoe wouldn't be here. Zoe would now be home, having a normal teenage life that I always dreamed about, and she would be safe. But Stanton wanted to help me – so she thought that, if she was going to send an Alchemist backup, it might as well be my sister! I hated them so much. And I hated myself. All this mess was my fault.

I finally fell asleep around 4:30 AM. I dreamed about Re-education and about how awful it would be, and then I remembered why I should endure everything. _Adrian_, I thought, and his green eyes flashed before me. And with that, I felt myself being pulled into a spirit dream.

I found myself in Adrian's apartment, wearing that black dress I wore at St. Louis, which I used to seduce Ian and, as I found out later, which seduced Adrian too. Adrian stood before me, and he wasn't fair – he didn't show up in a tux. He wore a navy blue shirt and denim trousers, and of course, he looked stunning. His every feature – his tall, lean build, his dark, messy hair and his gorgeous, emerald eyes – was beautiful. And even though he was a vampire, I suddenly realised how lucky I was to be in love with him and to have him love me too.

"Oh no", I blurted out before I could stop myself, "The last time I wore this dress only Jill stopped us."

Adrian's soft, low laughter made me happy again. Five minutes ago I thought I wouldn't feel happy for a long time, at least not until my assignment in Palm Springs was over. But before I could think about the Alchemists or about the real word, Adrian spoke.

"Well I couldn't sleep, I wanted to see that dress again." His smirk widened as he spoke his next words. "Seriously, Sage, I thought you wouldn't fall asleep tonight at all. I started checking on you at, like, 1 AM, soon after I got home. You couldn't stop thinking about me, couldn't you?"

He was so cute and charming. And it was so easy to play this game with him, but he reminded me of the reason I didn't fall asleep. Sensing the change in my mood, Adrian stopped smirking and walked over until we were only inches apart. He took my head in his hands and his piercing gaze made me want to cry. I felt my eyes fill with tears, and not wanting to spill them, I closed my eyes and put my hand on his chest.

"Oh, Adrian", I whispered.

Adrian pulled me into an embrace and held me with his strong arms. I thought that if he released me or even loosened his grip on me, I would fade or break down or lose my sanity. He was the only thing keeping me sane, and that was funny since he was so intoxicating – only the closeness of his body made me shudder and his smell made my head spin. We stood there for what felt like hours, in silence. Adrian was so patient, and I thanked him for it, knowing that usually he was the person that asked a million questions in 3 seconds when he didn't know the situation.

When I calmed down enough that I was sure I wouldn't cry and that I could control myself, I pulled myself away from him. His grip on me loosened, but he still kept me close and, putting his hands on my waist, he looked at me with a very sad expression.

"Please, don't tell me that I'll have to live through another one of your famous 'We can't ever do that again' sentence. And don't even try to deny that you love me – your aura is so purple and so red that I think I could go blind by looking at it for 2 seconds. But the problem is, there's something else in your aura. Why are you sad, Sage? Did I do something wrong?" Okay, as soon as he got his chance, he shot a thousand questions at me. But I didn't blame him. I was the one acting weird. And he had all the rights to expect from me my - famous? I said it, like, 2 times – 'We can't ever do that again' sentence, since until yesterday I was going in Mexico, with another man that actually hit me once, and he thought he would never see me again. I had to at least assure him that we, or specifically my emotions, weren't the problem.

"No, Adrian, you didn't do anything wrong. I still love you and I won't deny it. And I'm okay." I smiled at him to show him that everything's fine... „But everything's not fine. It's just that... Oh Adrian, you have no idea what happened!" My voice broke after that and I had to close my eyes to calm myself down once again. Then I remembered the Alchemists and what they did to Zoe, what they took away from her, and I found my strength again. Now I was determined – I wouldn't stop until I uncovered them. No matter the cost.

Since I was occupied with my own thoughts, I didn't even feel that Adrian pulled me into another embrace.

"We can go on like this all night, but I'm really getting nervous, Sage. What is going on? What could possibly make you act like this?" After this he whispered and I barely heard, „Is Jill okay? Did someone attack her? Did someone hurt... you?"

There were so much emotions in his voice. It hurt me to listen to him like this, so I immediately pulled away to look at him. "No, of course not, everyone's fine", I assured him. And to myself, I muttered, "At least physically."

Adrian didn't comment this time. He just stood there with his hands on my waist, looking at me and waiting for me to finally have some mercy and tell him what's going on. I took his arms and pulled him with me. I sat on his bed and when he sat next to me, I put my head on his shoulder.

"Zoe was sent here. Right now she's next to me, sleeping in my bed and has a golden lily on her left cheek." I tried to sound calm and I almost pulled it off. Adrian took my hands in his and straightened my fingers, which were pulled into a fist. He was silent for several long moments. Realising he wasn't going to respond, I decided to continue and to tell him what's bothering me and why I couldn't fall asleep.

"She is a Junior Alchemist and Stanton sent her here as backup, so it's permanent. It's all my fault, Adrian. If I hadn't called Stanton and said that I couldn't handle being around so many Moroi by myself, Zoe wouldn't have been sent here. She would have been home with mom. And I'm not sure how mom even agreed to this – she surely had a fight with dad. They destroyed my family, Adrian. They destroyed my life and I was okay with it, but why Zoe too? Why can't at least she have the life I can't have? And you know what the worst part is? She is so happy and so proud to be part of the society that puts compulsion in your tattoo, controls you and when you go rogue, they just erase you like you never existed. And what is sickening is that I actually believed in them. I believed in their lies. And now I can't have my sister back. She'll never be the same." I stopped after that, knowing I'd either cry or start punching the wall if I continued.

Adrian continued straightening my fingers which were constantly trying to build a fist. It was like they had a mind of their own – I didn't have any control over them. After several more seconds of silence, Adrian took my hand in his, pulled it to his mouth and kissed it. After that, he used it to sway me around to face him. Then he took my face in his hands and lowered himself until our foreheads were touching.

Closing my eyes, I whispered, "I'm so selfish, Adrian. I should have known that this was about to happen. I should have expected it and prevented it."

He finally spoke. "No, you couldn't. Should I remind you that protecting Zoe in the first place wasn't your responsibility, but your dad's? And did he protect her? He was probably the one that suggested sending her! And no, you're not selfish. If you were selfish, you wouldn't have become an Alchemist. You would have fought your father and went to college and lived your dreams and you would have been a wonderful person."

"But in that case, I wouldn't have met you, or Jill, or Eddie, or Angeline, or Rose, or Sonya, or Dimitri.", I whispered, interrupting him. Even though my eyes were still closed, I felt him smile.

"Exactly. So you're not selfish. You're anything but selfish. I know it hurts to have your sister as an Alchemist, and I know you feel like you failed her, but we will solve everything. You'll show her that the Alchemists are the liars and that she should be afraid of them. And the only part that I actually like in everything you said is how you refer to the Alchemists as „them". That means you really have come around, Sydney."

When he said my name like that, I always shivered. Not knowing what to say, I just whispered, "Oh, Adrian."

And even though my thoughts and feelings were a tornado, we were kissing. And it felt right – it was the only thing that actually felt right in the world in that moment. In a second I became aware of where we were, how I was dressed and where this situation was headed _again_. So I pulled away, despite my body's and Adrian's protests.

"Do you remember the first sentence I said in this dream?" I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Okay, I won't push it. But only because this is a dream, and it's hell of a good one." Adrian smirked at me and I laughed. I was happy again. He just had that influence, that power over me.

Suddenly a thought occurred to me.

"You realise that we won't be able to be together while Zoe is around, right?" I looked at him and within seconds I was horrified again, but now because of his smirking expression.

"You have no idea what I have prepared for mini-Sage. If she is anything like you, she'll fall on her knees before me within seconds."

I tried – and failed not to laugh. „What does 'If she's anything like you' even mean? It took you months to win me over!" At this he grinned.

"Yeah, but don't lie to yourself – the second you saw me, you knew you loved me."

I hit him in the arm and we laughed. He took my head in his hands once again and kissed my forehead.

"Don't work yourself up, Sage. It'll be okay. You can't undo what they've done to your sister, but you can help her fight against it." I just nodded as he pulled me into another embrace. I snuggled my head against his chest and whispered, "You have no idea how much you mean to me, Adrian."

As his presence slowly banished, along with the spirit dream, I heard Adrian laugh and say, "I think I do, Sage. I think I do."


	2. Chapter 1, part two: Freaking Out

**Author's note: **_Since Richelle Mead put the next part in Adrian's POV, I'll do it too! I just hope I'll pull him off. And once again, I have to mention my fellow friend HopperIvashkinator – she inspires me. I need to thank everyone for their reviews also. They mean the world to me. As for Hannah's review, since my keyboard is on my native language, I always have to write opening quotation signs like this: „ instead of like this: ". I decided to pay attention to this in future chapters, so thanks to everyone who pointed this out to me! And I corrected the first chapter's quotation signs. For anonymous – thank you so much! And of course I'll continue writing! Thank you, everyone, for your support!  
_

_All the characters and probably the plot, too, belong to the lovely Richelle Mead._

* * *

**Adrian's POV**

I opened my eyes and found myself on my bed, in my apartment. Remembering what actually happened minutes ago, I couldn't refrain myself from sighing. I could act all cool and charming when Sage was around, but I couldn't lie to myself. I was terrified. Firstly, because of how exposed Sage was now. Only one slip-up and Zoe would report her – she said that herself. I was terrified of what would Zoe look like, too. Would she look anything like Sydney? Would she look like mini-Sydney? What would she say when she first saw me? When will we meet? What should I wear? Should I act responsible and actually get her to like me with some normal outfit, or should I do my usual rolled-out-of-bed style? My head was already spinning, and I hadn't actually even started thinking about what this meant.

I really didn't know what this meant for Sage. How could she practice magic while her junior Alchemist sister was clinging to her, terrified of vampires, her head filled with God-knows-what? Sydney was disgusted of her initial opinion of the Alchemists. Sydney was disgusted. That had to be, like... cataclysmic. Did they really fill their heads with that much nonsense? Did they really teach them to be afraid of us so much? Observing Sage in the past few months, I learned that they really had strong revulsion to magic, blood and anything even connected with us – they thought that our touch would, like, make their skin incinerate or something.

I also remembered that Alchemist who created problems for Sage – Keith. He was terrified when he first saw me. The man froze when he saw me standing in the doorway! And I was actually trying to be nice and break the ice. Then I remembered how my Sage reacted when she saw me that day – she wasn't afraid of my touch or of me... She was always something exquisite. And even though the tattoo that maybe still controlled her made me shiver, I knew for sure that if anyone could pull everything off, it was Sydney. She always claimed that she was normal and everything, but for the God's sake, the girl practiced magic! And she was a hell of a good one witch.

That reminded me that we needed to find another name for her, because the "witch" term always implied dark and evil magic, and Sydney was a lot of things, but "evil" and "dark" weren't the terms to describe her. I would say... "beautiful", "too smart", "hot", "unselfish", "protective", "careful", "lovable" and I added two new words on the list – "mine" and "my girlfriend". Realising that, I became excited again. I actually had a girlfriend. I, Adrian Ivashkov, had a girlfriend. And I was excited and happy because of that realisation. What has become of the world? If anyone told me that I'd think like this, that I'd actually care about what someone else thought about me, that I'd actually wait to tell a girl I fell in love with her for months and that I'd actually be patient and wait for her to come around and love me back... Months ago, I would have laughed. I was so responsible now.

And what scared me the most was the fact that I had something to lose now, and that someone had _me_ to lose now. No matter how charming I was, the "notorious party boy" wouldn't work anymore. Not if I wanted to succeed in having Sydney for longer than a day. And I'd begin with... charming an Alchemist that could do God knows what to Sydney if she even had any doubts that she's favoring with "evil creatures of night" (and by the way, that term really started unnerving me) ? That would be acceptable, but charming Sydney's sister? She'd kill me. Well, she'd kill me anyway, so I better start preparing my irresistible self for the new task ahead of me – making Zoe swoon when she sees me. That, I hope, I could pull off.

I was also terrified of how easy it would be for Sydney to call everything off now. Only one phone call saying 'Sorry, Adrian, but this can't work if I have to pretend all the time and steal glances while Zoe's not looking', or 'I can't love you, since my job and my sister are more important to me than some romance', or 'I'm calling this off because notorious party boys aren't my type and I need someone responsible'... I felt so insecure now. Did Sydney really think this? Was I irresponsible? And how in the world were we going to make this work? Because I didn't intend to look at her from the distance and act like I didn't love her.

How the hell were we going to make this work?

Spirit actually made me hear that phone call... I laughed. How could I help Sydney, fight the whole world if I couldn't even stay sane?

Okay, I wasn't going crazy. My phone really was ringing. I silently cursed and sighed loudly. Relieved that I _still_ wasn't going to lose my sanity, I checked the clock: 7 AM. Who would call now? I didn't have classes today.

I checked my phone, quickly pushed "Answer", and grinning, said: "Sage."

"Good morning to you too, Adrian." Did calling me "Adrian" instead of "Lord Ivashkov" actually mean that Zoe wasn't around? But her voice was business-like.

Before I could say my thoughts out loud, Sydney said, "I'm just calling to inform you that we're going to have an emergency meeting in an hour at Clarence's. Don't worry, everyone's fine, there are just two persons that are going to be a part of the Palm Springs crew from now on and they need to introduce themselves." Well, she did this perfectly, like we really were just in the same crew – and nothing more.

I sighed. "Okay, Sage, I'll be there. I was going to sleep until at least 3 PM, but I want to meet… wait, you said two persons? Is Zoe that big that she counts for two?" She almost laughed. Almost. So, Zoe was really around.

"Very well, Adrian. I am glad that you will be able to attend the meeting, so that we can avoid Neil and Zoe having to introduce themselves twice." Okay, that was weird. Who the hell was Neil now? Maybe Zoe's boyfriend? Or maybe... another Alchemist? Oh no, so that would mean...

"The dhampir guardian and the junior Alchemist are very serious with their jobs, so please understand that you need to come to this meeting.", Sydney continued, unaware that she just answered my questions and stopped my train of thoughts. Or maybe she was aware of that, after all?

"I need you to get out of her hearing's range for, like, five minutes. Hide in the bathroom or something. I want to talk to you." Is this how it was supposed to be with us in the future? Because I couldn't stand this. Her business-tone already irritated me, as much as anything about Sage can irritate (except for her eating disorder, of course).

"Well, I hope you'll be able to attend the meeting at 8. I will pass the message to Jill.", and then she paused only for a heartbeat, but I didn't miss it, before saying, "Too."

"Okay, I'll wait for her to call me. And you know what? I'm seriously thinking about scaring your sister so much that she resigns. That way everyone can be happy.", I paused dramatically, and, mimicking her business-tone, I added, „Too."

I heard her almost laugh (again!), and she just added, "I won't dignify that with a response." Then she hung up on me. She hung up on me! I haven't even met Zoe, and she was already going to kill me. Way to go, Ivashkov.

I actually didn't think about anything after this. I didn't want to know, I didn't want to be nervous, I didn't want to pace around waiting for Jill to call me, I didn't want anything. I just wanted to sleep, since I was so mentally exhausted. But that peace – me, lying in my bed with closed eyes, my arms behind my neck, not thinking about anything – it lasted for, like, five minutes.

Loud screeching made me jump. What was that? It took me five seconds of thinking, with that screeching noise in the background, to remember where I'd heard it before.

It was that dragon. Hopper, as Sage named him. But where did he come from? I asked her, the day before, what happened with him, and we were to busy with naming cars and dragons and talking about spirit dreams that she never answered me. Did he teleport himself here? Could dragons do that? And why would he teleport himself here? Oh, right, I was his "father". One more thing to add to the list: "_Adrian Ivashkov – Unbelievable things about him_".

"I'm coming, Hopper", I shouted while I tried – and almost failed – to get up.

I opened my bedroom's door and almost stepped on him. He was there, just outside the door. I was ready to shout at him and tell him many things I'd regret later (even knowing that he couldn't understand me) such as, for an example, 'How the hell did you get here?', or 'What the hell are you doing here?'. But no. I stopped for a second, seeing the look in his eyes. That small creature was looking at me with those big, pleading eyes, and his tail was swinging! He stopped screeching as soon as he saw me. My anger immediately melted, and I sat down, beside him. I didn't take him in my arm; I just put it on the ground near him. If dragons can smile, well, he smiled and quickly ran into my hand.

I picked him up and said in a low tone, "Hey there, little buddy. How did you get here?" I know it was pointless to try to talk with – whatever he was – an animal, but Hopper looked at me and then moved his head slightly, looking at my jacket on the chair.

"Oh, so you sneaked in with Sydney and later jumped into my pocket? But why would you do that, Hopper?" Hopper blinked and curled himself up in my hand. Oh my God. The dragon actually understood me, and he...

"You missed dad? Well, Hopper, I must say that you could have ended in Mexico with Sage... with mom. But she decided to stay. So you can have both of us now. Really, it actually was a smart decision, especially considering how small you – and your brain – are. If Zoe saw you, she would have died." I laughed and gently stroked his head with my finger. Hopper closed his eyes and he was silent. Did that mean he wasn't hungry?

"Are you hungry, Hopper?" After I said that sentence, Hopper immediately opened his big eyes and moved his head slightly up and down. He nodded. A dragon just nodded at me. This was getting weirder by the second. But my paternal duties were my paternal duties, and I wasn't going to abandon my child.

"Well, my son, since your mother is being all irresponsible, putting her job in front of her child, I'll feed you." I just had no idea with what. I put Hopper on my left shoulder, and with him sitting, clinging to my shirt with his little claws and tickling my neck, I walked over to the fridge.

"Hmm… there's not much here, but I know you like coconut pie, and I just happen to have some leftovers… Okay, they're maybe from yesterday morning, but you'll be able to digest them, I hope. I have nothing else to offer, except if you want me to make you some omelet with eggs and cheese, and except that I have no idea if you like it, we need to get ready for Zoe and Neil." I took the pie that looked a little suspicious (but hey, it said on it that it could be kept in the fridge for 3 days!) and put it on the table. Hopper slipped down my arm and ran.

While he ate, I decided to go and dress myself. And there I came to a halt. What should I wear? All the questions from a couple hours ago came crashing down on me. I almost got a panic attack, but thankfully, my phone stopped me. I didn't bother looking at the caller ID.

"Sage, if you say one more sentence with your business tone, I swear that I'll come there, knock Zoe out, tie her with duct tape and she can think whatever she wants when she wakes up in Australia." I seriously meant this, but the person on the other line laughed.

"I know you meant it, Adrian, so thank God that I'm not Sydney." Phew. I almost expected another hanging up.

"Jailbait. What good wind brings you?"

"Well, you were so busy with Hopper that you actually forgot that Sydney was supposed to tell me something and make me a mailman. By the way, I was the one to release Hopper. I just thought it was fair for him to be with his mother, if she was about to go to Mexico. His step-dad would actually be cute, now that I think about it and that I'm not burdened with your jealousy anymore. And you are a wonderful dad, actually." She giggled, and I didn't dignify that with a physical response. _Marcus stood no chance against the perfect and irresistible Adrian Ivashkov, the vampire,_ I said through the bond.

Jill laughed, and I decided to bring us back to the real subject. "Okay, so what did my Alchemist girlfriend tell you – and me?"

Jill laughed. Again. "She told me to say 'I'll call you in fifteen minutes, since Zoe almost passed out when I told her she needed to meet 3 vampires and 3 dhampirs. We will talk and I don't plan on going to the bathroom for twenty minutes every day, 6-7 times. Zoe would think I have some problems.' And she told me to say 'I love you' in case she didn't call…" Jill continued speaking, but I didn't bother listening. My Sage loved me. And I felt so good about that. The only better thing that could actually happen now – besides Zoe's transfer to Narnia forever – would be Sage herself telling me that. It would mean my mission was accomplished. It would mean she really was mine. It would mean that she wouldn't leave me because of her job or Zoe or anyone else. It would mean we could make this work.

"Okay, Jill, I didn't hear a word you said and you know it. So I better wait for her to call me. Bye, Jailbait." I almost hung up on her (following Sage's example), but I heard something interesting. And Jill knew how to get my attention.

"Oh, okay, I was just saying how I met Zoe… But since you're so busy with waiting Sydney's call, I'm just going to go now. Bye, Adrian." WHAT?

„No!", I screamed before I could stop myself. _Tell me everything, right now, or I'm going to kill you so that you don't need to experience the bad side of the bond, Jill_.

Jill laughed again. "You were so busy daydreaming that you didn't hear me talk! And you wanted to hang up on me! You are so… Adrian-like."

"Talk.", I said in the most serious tone I ever spoke with Jill, knowing she'd go on rambling until Sydney actually called me. And then I'd have no information or expectations about the mini-Sage.

"Okay. She is like Sydney, but not quite like Sydney. Like, she's a bit shorter, and has a long, brown hair that isn't as shiny or as curly as Sydney's, and her eyes are darker, and her golden lily gleams a hundred times more than Sydney's, but that's probably because she got it, like, yesterday, and she tries to be all business-like like Sydney but when she saw me she froze and I thought she was going to cry and she's as old as I am and she's almost as skinny as Sydney was when we first met her…"

"Okay, Jill, breathe or you're seriously going to die.", I said with a laugh. "But I still don't know what to wear! We're meeting her in less than an hour! How will I be able to toss my shirt on the ground for 15 minutes, style my hair to look messy for half an hour, get ready and get to Clarence's on time? And I don't need to mention that I have no idea what to toss on the ground!"

Now it was Jill's turn to laugh. "Now you're the one that needs to breathe, Adrian. And don't worry. Put on denim and some _normal_ shirt…" Maybe I'd go for the green one that always makes Sage's eyes widen and her aura purpler… "And no, the green one won't work for Zoe – it'd be too much. Don't wear red too, since she'd probably scream, thinking it was somebody's blood on a white shirt." We both laughed at this. Did the Alchemists know how ridiculous they were?

"Okay, Jailbait. I'll put on something black, white or grey, but if she dies when she sees me anyway, I'm pointing out right now that it's not my fault." And I remembered to tell her something else, but through the bond this time, since it was more personal: _Thank you, Jailbait. I have no idea where I'd be if I didn't have you._

"Don't mention it, Adrian. Even if there was no bond, I'd figure out that you were freaking out and call you. You're like a brother to me. Besides, now that I think about it, the bond isn't so bad, at least not when I don't think about hangovers and me complimenting Sydney's hair and clothes every morning." We both laughed at this and said our goodbyes. Knowing she could still hear me, I sent another message through the bond: _You're like a sister to me too, Jill._

Hopper obviously already ate his breakfast and he was looking at me as I almost stepped on him _again_. I laughed and let him crawl up to my shoulder and started walking towards the bathroom.

"Okay, Hopper. We better get ready if we want Zoe to like us."


	3. Chapter 1, part three: Meeting Zoe?

**Author's note:** _I mention HopperIvashkinator again and her devoted reading, supporting and reviewing of this story. Thank you, everyone, for following, favoring, reviewing and supporting my story and for your kind words. You mean the world to me. :) Also, if you have any suggestions how to develop the story from now on, feel free to contact me! I'm not exactly sure what "secret" Sydney could be hiding except for Keith-Carly and I have no idea how that could be connected to Ms. T. Don't be afraid to review!  
_

_All the characters and the plot belong to the awesome Richelle Mead._

* * *

Zoe's meeting of Jill was a terrible thing – the "terrible" kind that makes your head hurt. After calling Adrian and pretending that we were just business associates, and after spilling a glass of water on Zoe's face because she froze when she realized that I was talking with a vampire on a phone (I mean, vampires actually use mobile phones? Shouldn't they turn into bats and fly up here or something?), I had to somehow get to Jill. I had to tell her to tell Adrian many things – and one of those things is that I already hate all of this! For the God's sake, Zoe was my sister and I had to pretend to be someone entirely else in front of her.

After unfreezing and apologizing, Zoe managed to shock me one more time, and this was another thing that I should've expected of her. Her outfit was very similar to mine – she dressed in a white button-up shirt and black slacks. She put minimum make-up and raised her hair in a very neat bun. It took her 10 minutes to do that.

I just stood there, shocked, my mouth slightly open. Zoe looked at me and, seeing my shocked expression, she immediately became nervous, saying "What? Is this too memorable? I tried to dress like dad taught me." I just shook my head and tried to remain calm and not have a nervous breakdown right then and right there.

"No, Zoe, you look perfect. I was just thinking about..." Oh, no. Now I had to lie. I had to lie to my sister, looking her in the eyes. Deciding not to laugh, but to simply improvise, I looked her in the eyes and calmly said, "I was just thinking about how you need to meet one of the vampires and a dhampir now. Jill and Angeline are just downstairs, and since they don't have their own car, we need to drive them. It'd be better if you met them now, and not while you were in a car." I managed a small smile, but Zoe now mirrored the expression I had only seconds ago.

"What? Are you out of your mind, Sydney? A vampire and a dhampir - _together_? In one room? They are completely, utterly disgusting!" My heart sank hearing this. It reminded me, once again, that my sister was an Alchemist now. Of course she'd think this, and I was the abnormal one to think that Jill and Angeline are just teenage girls like everyone else. But I didn't show any emotions on my face.

"If you are going to be an Alchemist, Zoe, you need to get used to", I paused for a second, preparing myself for what I was about to say, "disgusting things like that. And yes, you need to compose and prepare yourself for meeting two of them at the same time. If you can't handle that, than how can I expect of you to handle all of them when we get to Clarence's? I'll give you two minutes, and Ill go notify the princess that she'll be meeting you. I'll be back." With that I left my sister and her muffled "Yes, sir, I'm sorry" and I closed the door, desperately trying not to cry.

Jill expected me, and I was thankful that the bond was working. She stood in the doorway, smiling.

"No, he isn't sleeping. He's preparing himself for you and Zoe", she said as I got closer to her. When she saw my expression, she immediately shot questions: "Oh my God, Sydney! What's wrong? Is everything okay? No, of course everything's not okay, since you're almost crying! Oh my God, did you have a fight with Zoe?" There. She just hit the vein and I snapped my eyes shut, entering the room. Angeline wasn't anywhere in sight.

Jill continued talking things like 'Oh, I'm so sorry' and 'Do you want to talk about it', but I interrupted, my senses on high alert.

"Where is Angeline?", I asked, "Did she kill someone this time?"

Jill laughed. "No, she's just in the bathroom this time."

"And I can hear you", Angeline's muffled voice came from the bathroom, "And I'm not sure whether I should take your question as a compliment or as an offense."

"Thank God, everything's fine." Jill sat next to me on bed and hugged me, hard.

"What was that for?", I asked, after I finally started breathing again.

"Even though Adrian saw you yesterday, I didn't, and I have to say that I thought you'd leave. I was so angry at you, Sydney, for intending to do that to Adrian, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore, since you're here. Now tell me what happened with Zoe?"

"Well, just so you know it, you're meeting her in a minute. If I wasn't so busy with almost having a breakdown, I would have already come and get her here. You need to explain everything to Adrian, and please tell him that I don't intend on hiding all of this, going to bathroom 6-7 times daily. She'd think I have some serious problems. It's already starting to get on my nerves, being all business-like and needing to have to fight with my sister so that I could talk normally, with anyone. And Jill, tell him we'll talk as soon as I get rid of Zoe. Since we had a fight because she freaked out realising that she was about to meet vampires and dhampirs, maybe I'll have 15 free minutes for him." I sighed. "And tell him that I love him, if I don't have time to call him."

Jill was already melting. She put her hands to her mouth and made a muffled scream. Then she got up and ushered me to the door, saying "Well you'll have time to tell him that yourself, since you're going to bring Zoe right here, right now and then you'll make some excuse to call him." And then she closed the door. A 15-year-old just kicked me out of her room and closed the door in front of my nose. My brain was about to shut down from all this shocks.

Well, let's do one more crazy thing, then. Let's make Zoe hate me. I came back and Zoe was waiting in front of the door. I nodded at her.

"Very well, Zoe. Let's go." She looked nervous, but had a very determined expression which scared me, and hooked her arm through mine.

When we got to the door, Zoe started praying. If my heart could sink more, it did. Could it get any worse? She took a deep breath, unhooked her arm and knocked on the door.

But when I didn't see Jill in the doorway, I mentally chastised myself for asking that question. Yes, it could get worse and it was about to. Because the person who was in the doorway was _Angeline_.

"So you are the Alchemist? Huh. I expected at least someone taller and more mature. Not a child." Oh my God. Jill was behind Angeline, her smile fading and turning into a horrified expression. She had a phone in her hand - good, so she probably already told Adrian what she needed. Our eyes locked for a second and a message passed between us: _There is going to be blood everywhere if we don't stop this within next 2 seconds_. But it was already too late.

Zoe's business expression (which I never saw before) turned into anger and her eyes flashed with fire. She put her hands on her hips and shouted - as much as you can call her loud, but reasonably loud talking "shouting", "How dare you! I should have expected something like this from uncivilized, barbaric Keeper!"

Angeline turned into flame and I was sure that she was about to hit Zoe in seconds. "Uncivilized? I'm not the one throwing words like that at you! And I'm certainly not barbaric! It's not my fault that you're immature and that, even for an Alchemist, you are disgusting!" This already turned into shouting and Jill's and mine tries to hurdle Angeline and Jill away from each other, but they were shouting some very bad and very inappropriate things at each other, swinging with their arms. I started getting mad. I was trying to make things work here (and Jill too) and they were both acting like children.

"Stop it!", I shouted and a light bulb exploded in the room, but I didn't care. "Stop acting like children! You are both barbaric and uncivilized and if you don't stop within seconds I'll make sure that you're both relocated from Palm Springs!", and in the lowest, calmest tone I could manage while being this worked up, I said, "Believe me, I will."

Everyone came to a halt. Only Jill seemed to notice the light bulb. Angeline and Zoe froze, too busy looking at me and processing my words to see Jill take the broken glass and throw it away. Mentally, I thanked her so much. Her face was expressionless, so I decided to watch two cats instead. If it went like this with Angeline, how would it go with Adrian? My head hurt.

Zoe stopped fighting me. She went limp in my hands, and silently said, "I'm sorry, but she was..." I cut her off immediately. "No, Zoe, you two are both guilty for this. Now I want you to shake hands and stop acting like two wild animals. And apologize." Looking at Angeline while Zoe humphed, putting her hand in front of her, I added, "Both of you."

Angeline also humphed and looked away, taking Zoe's hand and shaking it, which Zoe immediately after wiped on her slacks, as if it was poisonous. She muttered, "Sorry, Alchemist.", and Zoe answered with "Sorry too, Keeper." Then some kind of a scaring competition went on and I was the only thing that kept them from killing each other. Then Angeline passed by Zoe and disappeared behind the corner.

And then came the main event - Zoe saw Jill. She looked at her for 2 milliseconds and froze. All her rage and self-confidence flew out the window.

Jill smiled and quickly said in a near whisper, "I hope it won't go with me like it went with Angeline. I'm Jill, and I'm glad to meet you." She didn't understand that Zoe was still processing that it was a vampire standing before her.

"She froze", I said to Jill and sighed. "Give me a glass of water."

Zoe still stood there, not moving, while Jill hurried into the bathroom and came back with a glass of water.

I threw the water at her face and she immediately jumped. "You didn't need to do that!", she shouted. "I could have handled this!"

"Yes, you could", I snorted. "What will happen when you see Adrian and Clarence with Jill, Eddie, Angeline and Neil? In the same room? Come on, get back to our room and compose yourself. I'm sure Jill doesn't mind. Jill, we'll meet in 20 minutes near the Latte. Please, tell Eddie. And try to find Angeline." I nodded at her and Jill smiled back. I dragged Zoe away and we didn't speak until I got us in the room and closed the door. I sighed loudly.

"Zoe, I'm sorry if I was harsh but I really didn't want this to happen. I understand that you saw a vampire and a dhampir for the first time, but you shouldn't have acted like that. What were you thinking, saying all of that to Angeline? You knew she was going to react like that!" I had a lot more to say, but Zoe interrupted me.

"But Sydney, she started it! She said that she 'expected more'", Zoe said, mimicking Angeline's voice.

"That is not an excuse", I said calmly. "No matter what she said, or done, you shouldn't have lost your composure. To be an Alchemist means to be prepared for every situation and to be able to handle every situation calmly. Losing your temper is not a characteristic of an Alchemist." I played that card, knowing I'd win. And I did - as soon as I mentioned that this wasn't how a real Alchemist would behave, she stopped protesting with her expression and started nodding. As soon, as I finished, she started apologizing.

"I understand, Sydney. A mistake like this is not about to happen again. I promise that I'll behave more civilized in the future, no matter how barbaric they are." She was silent for several moments and I watched her, my expression totally different than what I felt. While my face was cold, composed and calm, my heart felt like there were daggers in it. Was this how it would always be between us from now on? She'd make a mistake, I'd play my 'A real Alchemist would...' card and she'd listen. It was awful.

Zoe looked me and smiled. "I'm so glad to have you, Sydney. Any other Alchemist would report me immediately and I would be removed from Palm Springs. Thank you for having patience. I'll try to be more like you from now on."

"Okay, Zoe. I'm going to take care of some business now, and I'll be back in 15 minutes. Please, try to calm yourself and prepare for what's going to happen in less then an hour." Zoe nodded again and I got out of the room.

Next task: call Adrian, even though I had no idea what to say to him.

I went to the cafeteria and called him. He answered after what felt like hours.

"Sage?" His voice was muffled and he sounded worked up and a little insecure, but I didn't want to stall.

I sighed. "Hey, Adrian. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, but everything's a huge mess here. I have no idea how to handle this. Zoe and Angeline almost had a box-match and Zoe froze when she saw Jill. I had to drag her to our room and tell her", and I used my business-tone to say this, "'How a real Alchemist would behave.'" I sighed again. "I'm awake for an hour and I'm already sick of this. I don't want to pretend and lie. I want to be with you." I was so down. This really was one of my worst nightmares.

Adrian's voice was still muffled and I think I heard something crash.

"Uh, okay. You know what I think about this? When I heard your "Alchemist" voice, I had the urge to come there and knock Zoe out. I just spoke with Jill, and she said that Zoe froze when she saw her, but she didn't say anything about Angeline. What happened?" I heard a crashing sound and before I could ask if everything was okay, Adrian cut me off.

"Okay, wait a moment before I crash the whole apartment. I'm putting you on speakerphone." I waited a second and the muffling noise stopped.

When Adrian spoke again, his voice was distant, as if he was speaking from a tunnel. "So Zoe and Angeline had a fight at their first meeting. It looks like our Zoe here is nothing like you after all. When Angeline met you for the first time, it wasn't a box-match." Adrian laughed and I did too. Even though I knew my happiness would last only for a second.

"Adrian, what are you doing? I mean, why am I on speakerphone?" Suddenly, a loud screeching sound made me jump.

"What was that? Adrian, are you okay?" That noise again.

Adrian's voice was closer now. "Hey, buddy, what's wrong now? I fed you minutes ago!"

"Who are you talking to?" I really had no idea what was going on. I'd think it was spirit, but I heard that noise loud and sound. Speaking of that noise, it started immediately after I spoke and now I heard something scratching. What was going on?

"No, son, don't scratch my phone! You can't eat it!" What?

"Son? Adrian, if you don't tell me what is going on right now, I swear that I'll come there!"

The screeching sound began again. "Well, that is a good idea, but could you stop talking for a second? He starts wailing as soon as you speak."

I didn't understand anything. And I think that I didn't want to know what was going on. But I was silent. Where did I hear that sound before? I was sure I did, somewhere.

"Okay, buddy, I know you miss mom, but she's not in the phone. You can't dig her out. So be a good boy and don't screech when she speaks again."

"What? Mom? How come I don't know this?" Uh, that sound again. I snapped. "And can you keep silent for two seconds, whoever you are, for the God's sake? I can't hear my thoughts from that screeching!"

Silence. And then a... sniffing noise.

"Congratulations, Sydney, now you made him cry."

"Well, I'm sorry for snapping, since I have no idea how I became a mother of God knows what creature..." I suddenly understood.

"Hopper? My baby dragon?" As soon as I said this, I heard a muffled sound, like a miniature scream. Oh no.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you. But I didn't know what was going on." I hit my forehead with my palm. "I'm so sorry", I said in a near-whisper.

"It's okay", Adrian said. "He forgives you. His tail is swinging again. Now, Hopper, if we want to be ready on time, we need to get dressed and yes, I know you have no idea what to wear, but I'll make you a shirt, okay? Or a dress or... whatever." Adrian was silent for a second while my heart melted. He was a wonderful father, even though his child was a dragon.

"Sage, so Hopper isn't hungry or sleepy anymore. He had some quality time with his father and now we just have to get dressed. I think I'll be able to be there in 15 minutes." I laughed.

"Don't hurry, you still have time. But how do you know that Hopper is a boy?" Adrian laughed.

"Well, let me ask him. Hopper, are you a girl? No? And are you a boy? Yes? Well, mom doubts that you are our son and wants you to magically become our daughter. Can you do that? Of course you can't! Now, son, please tell mom how you feel about this disgracing question that she asked." After that, I heard more of those high-pitched tones that sounded like a little girl screaming.

"Okay, okay, so it's a 'he'. But I think that Hopper's just saying that he's hungry and that you just made up that communication-with-Hopper-part."

Hopper screeched again. "You can think that I made that up, but try talking to him. He understands everything and nods and shakes his head when you ask him questions. And even though he can't talk, you see that he can tell what he thinks or wants." I snorted.

"Oh, come on." I paused for a second, remembering something. "Adrian, how did Hopper get there? He was in Jill's room, last I remember."

Adrian laughed. "Well, Jill released him and he sneaked into your bag or something. Jill thought that he deserved to be with his mother if she was going to go to Mexico. And I think that I would have sued you, because you agreed to joined custody." We both laughed.

"Even though it's getting harder by the seconds, I'm glad I stayed. Mexico and Marcus are nothing compared to..." Oh no. That wasn't possible.

Ms. Terwilliger was standing by my table.

"Melbourne, I have a favor to ask from you. Immediately."

Seeing the look on her face, I immediately realised that this was something important. "Adrian, you're going to have to pull that meeting off without me. Ms. T has a task for me." I hung up and nodded to Ms. Terwilliger. Then I sent a text to Eddie saying that he'll have to drive them to Clarence's and that Adrian will explain everything.

Ms. Terwilliger was waiting, and I said, "I just need to notify my sister that I won't be able to attend a meeting. It'd be the best if you told her yourself - I'm not sure if she'd trust me."

Ms. Terwilliger nodded and we headed for our room. What in the world happened now? Was Alicia back? I had no idea.


	4. Chapter 2: Secret Exposed

**Author's note:** _I mention HopperIvashkinator again and her devoted reading, supporting and reviewing of this story. This story wouldn't be anywhere if she wasn't there to help me sort my thoughts. Thank you, everyone, for following, favoring, reviewing and supporting my story and for your kind words. You mean the world to me. :) I need to mention CherrySlushLover, Alyssa 1696 and Hannah too! You are helping me with your continuous reviewing and with your support too! It is a wonderful feeling to know that people are reading your story and that they actually like it!  
_

_I also have some bad news - I won't be able to use Internet until mid-August (in the best case). I really hope that you won't forget my story until then, since I will use my free time to write (and believe me, I can write a lot). I'm not sure how many new chapters I'll post in these few days I'll be home, but I'll try my best and write as much as I possibly can on my phone. So I'm really sorry because of this, but when I'm back there'll be much more for you to read._

_And I really am so excited about the next chapter - it will have Adrian in it! I already miss him :)_

_Also, if you have any suggestions about what could/should happen next, feel free to contact me via PM._

_All the characters and the plot belong to the awesome Richelle Mead._

* * *

I have no idea how long the drive lasted. Ms. Terwilliger was silent during the ride, and even though I had many questions, I decided to remain silent too. This was serious, whatever it was.

I expected (and deep down in myself, I hoped) Ms. Terwilliger would take me to the desert to learn some new spell. This was her way of work - she knew that I had many responsibilities on my back, so only dragging me away would do. After Alicia, I knew how important magic was for me and for those I loved, but it was still at the end of my list of responsibilities. I mean, I was past my issues with it and I wasn't afraid to practice it anymore. Still, I wasn't planning on becoming a part of Ms. Terwilliger's coven. Not telling me anything about this from Ms. T. meant that this was something very, very serious and the only word that came to my mind was Alicia. But how? I mean, I expected for her to be back, but she survived a fire, shards that I threw at her and a fall from the stairs! How did she recover so quickly? And what did this mean? I really wasn't sure. If I was about to fight her again... It would be nasty. I was more powerful, but I didn't want to hurt anyone deliberately. Not even Alicia, if she didn't try to hurt me or anyone else.

I was very nervous - my palms were sweating and my heartbeats were uneven, but I was determined to deal with whatever Ms. Terwilliger prepared for me. So, actually, I shouldn't have been surprised when I realised she wasn't taking me to the desert, but only to a bar that was near Wolfe's house. And what a bar it was!

The name "Red Hurricane" really suited it. Everything was red and the place looked so devastated, that I could believe a hurricane destroyed it. Since it was morning, there was nobody on sight and the place really looked deserted. Letters "Red Hurricane" looked like they could fall off at any second and the light bulbs that should have glowed at night were all broken. But hey, the facade was recently repainted and the red was still visible, even through all the graffiti. What was this? What interest did Ms. T. have in this bar? I raised my eyebrow. What were we supposed to do here, in this secluded place? Was I going to learn some new spell that was supposed to renovate this place? Because it needed to be a really, really advanced one. But why here? This wasn't a place even Alicia would choose.

But what if Ms. Terwilliger agreed for Alicia to take and drain me, let me be her "fifth" so she wouldn't bother anyone for several more years? This place really screamed "run away as fast as you can". But no. Ms. Terwilliger would never do that. I trusted her. And now was obviously the time for her to test that trust.

I stole a glance at Ms. T. Her face was strict, showing no emotions, but I finally mustered up the courage to ask her what was going on. I was her apprentice, after all, and she was obliged to tell me if I was going to fight a resurrected witch in the next five minutes. She was obliged, right?

"Ms. Terwilliger, I was patient but I really want to know..." Without looking at me, Ms. T. put her hand up and shushed me.

"Be patient for five more seconds, and you'll find out everything. Now hurry, the man we're meeting won't wait forever." Well, that certainly confirmed that I wasn't going to fight Alicia. But who was this mysterious man that 'wouldn't wait forever'? And why were we meeting him?

I sighed and looked at my surroundings. Wow. Red walls, dimmed lights, old wooden tables and chairs and no people... Except for a man, sitting alone in the dark corner of the bar. I couldn't see his features clearly, except that he was very tall and that he had a light purple scarf, probably silk, around his neck. Oh no. I suddenly knew who we were meeting. What was he doing here?

"What is he doing here?", I couldn't refrain myself from asking out loud. He was still far from us, but I was already unnerved by that smirk of his. Ms. T. remained calm, as if it was perfectly normal to meet him here. I was already angry, but there were too many questions at the moment in my head, and the loudest one was - how did Ms. Terwilliger know him? I mean, he was a very powerful person in the Moroi world, but I had no idea how Ms. T. could be connected with him. But when I actually thought about it, Ms. T. told me that she knew about vampires and everything. After all, she was a witch. After a moment of thinking, I actually could understand how these two knew each other. Not that I actually wanted to know this.

But now many new questions showed up. What did he want from me now? Did he actually tell Ms. T. about Keith and now they wanted to blackmail me with that, _again_? Or Ms. T. told him about how friendly Adrian and I were and that was suspicious? Or she told him about magic and everything... Oh no. If he knew about my magic, it was over. Everything was over. Everyone would find out and I would be sent to a lab somewhere and I wouldn't be an Alchemist anymore and my life would become hell and... No. I would do anything, but I would prevent him from telling about this - to anyone. After all, only Adrian (and consequently Jill) knew that I was a witch. I wanted it to stay like that.

I was going to kill Ms. Terwilliger after this was over.

"Ibrahim", Ms. T. said calmly and nodded at him as he stood up.

"Jacqueline", Abe said and nodded at her, and then turned towards me. "Well, it's such a pleasure to meet you here, lovely Sydney Sage. Please sit down. I ordered drinks for you, and don't worry, there is no alcohol in yours", he said and winked at me, still grinning.

"Zmey", I said as I sat down, "I hope you understand that I have important things to do. What is the subject of this meeting?" Abe's grin widened and his fangs showed a little - and that was because of the abnormal wideness of his grin, since he never showed them - and I took a glance at what he was wearing. A black jacket and a red button-up shirt combined with his purple scarf and pale skin created such a strong impression that it was hard to look at him. I felt the same, but not because of the color combination.

"Well, always business and everything, as I expected. But we have time. How are you, Sydney? How is mission in Palm Springs going on? I heard that Jill is well-hidden, except for that one slip-up with her showing in that magazine, but I suppose hardly anyone would be able to recognize her." Oh no. Not that.

I'm sure Abe saw my horrified expression and he shook his head. "Don't worry. It was taken care of." And he winked. Why was this old man winking at me? It was infuriating!

"The mission's fine", I said, trying to compose and distract myself from him. Abe nodded.

"I'm sure it is. And I'm sure our Adrian is a great help", he said and smirked at me. Now I shook my head. He was impossible. And how did he know about Adrian? Was it that obvious?

"Well, I talked with my old friend Jacqueline", and he turned towards Ms. T. and grinned at her, "And she told me some very interesting and quite shocking, I must add, things about you. I don't know why you failed to report your involvement with magic to me - that is a very useful thing to know." I glanced at Ms. T. and she winced when she saw the dirty look I shot at her. Yes. It was all her fault. And now Abe would _never _leave me alone.

Abe continued. "And don't worry, you know that discretion is my specialty from your own experience. I knew that Jacqueline was a witch, but you? I never saw that coming, and you know that it's not easy to surprise me. I am really glad that you aren't a regular Alchemist. You could be useful and inform me about that blood that was intercepted last week... I'm not sure where it ended..." I couldn't take this anymore, so I interrupted him.

"Why are you here? And I'm extremely sorry for asking, but what does Ms. Terwilliger have to do with you?" I let out an exasperated sigh. I noticed that Ms. T. was sitting in the corner and she was silent. Was she actually afraid of him? I didn't blame her, he was very, very scary. But not because of his fangs. They were just natural for him. They suited his personality perfectly.

Abe quickly glanced at his clock and then both Ms. T and Abe looked at me seriously and he said, "Well, Sydney, enough of pleasant talk, even though I'm sure we'd have so much to talk about." And he winked for, like, the hundredth time already? And I was so glad that I could finally, for one time, avoid talking about Keith and how I owed him and all that. And actually, I really was interested to find out what was going on. Abe continued. "So, is there anything that you would wish to tell us? Important or not, anything at all?" I raised my eyebrow at this and shook my head.

"No, nothing that would interest you.", I said carefully.

Immediately after I said this, Ms. T. let out a slow, exasperated sigh and put one hand on her forehead. What was that? Like she expected me to say "Yes, sorry father, for I have sinned" or something like that? I looked at her for a moment longer with a raised eyebrow. I felt like a child that did something wrong and now my parents wanted me to say how I made a mistake. But what did I do? Was this still about Jill showing up in that magazine? Or was this about Alicia and how I didn't know for sure if she was dead? But what did Abe have to do with that?

"Well, you see, there actually is something that interests me. I received information about a secret you've hidden so well from everyone. Actually, I can understand that, since the Alchemists wouldn't be able to understand." Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God, did he actually know about me and Adrian? Or about my involvement with Marcus? But what interest did he have in that? And what did Ms. T. have to do with that?

"But it would be very useful for Moroi, if you weren't so defensive about it.", Abe continued, oblivious to my thoughts and how I suddenly had no idea what he was talking about, _again_. So this wasn't about Adrian or about Marcus, since they weren't 'important to the Moroi'. What was I defensive about? My sisters? Myself?

Seeing my expression, Abe raised an eyebrow and continued speaking. "I certainly hoped you'd tell us, Sydney, but since I have to, I'll expose your secret myself." He paused for a moment, like giving me a last chance, and nodded. "Okay. So you know nothing of... Let's see... How Strigoi couldn't digest your blood? Or... how Moroi scientists sensed magic in your blood? Or... How your refusal of giving blood for tasting resulted in Sonya Karp", he paused, thinking, "Or is it Tanner now? Anyway, that resulted in Sonya being kidnapped?" He grinned and raised both eyebrows, while Ms. T. looked at me seriously.

I believe my face was as purple as Abe's scarf. I thought that I was going to have a heart attack. Abe, the illegal salesman of vampire blood, the Zmey, knew about my secret. My secret. And he was right - this was a secret I kept hidden from everyone. I just never expected it would be so nonchalantly presented at this table, in this secluded bar, at this moment. I mentally repeated: there's nothing unnatural about me, I'm normal. They wouldn't dare to turn me into a lab rat. Everything was going to be okay.

I was suffocating and my head was spinning. "It's just the compound in the tattoo", I whispered. "There's nothing wrong with my blood."

"There isn't", Abe said. "Your blood is fantastic - it's repulsive to Strigoi! Is there anything better? And really, it's a gift. You are a very gifted human. I spoke with Jacqueline and she told me she never met anyone as powerful as you. I hear that you handled a witch, with only severe help of our dear Adrian. And that is another thing Jacqueline has never seen before - to have such a good memory and to be able to preform so many advanced spells in such a short notice." He grinned again.

"I didn't ask for this!", I cried. "Can I somehow return this 'gift'? Because I want to be normal!" And I wasn't even sure what this 'gift' was!

"Well, I'm sorry to inform you, but no, you can't.", Abe said and grinned.

Meanwhile, the walls were closing in on me. I had to get out of here. There was only one person that would defend me now, that would keep me safe. I needed someone to carry me out of here. I needed someone to protect me from this... to protect me from myself.

I needed Adrian.

"I believe he is busy right now", Ms. T. said. I put a hand on my mouth. Oh my God. Did I just say that out loud?

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, young Sydney. I, personally, consider the two of you a very appropriate and a very interesting match. I shouldn't have been surprised, really. You are well-coordinated, you seem to know what the other thinks, you trust each other and you even look like you belong together. Ivashkov seems to have finally gotten over what my daughter undeliberately did to him and he seems to have finally become productive." Ms. T. nodded and they both grinned, some unknown message passing between them.

"I believe that dance at Sonya's wedding marked a beginning of a new era for everyone." Oh no. I forgot Abe was there too.

I felt sick. Like, I-am-going-to-throw-up-right-now sick. But first, I needed to end this conversation, so I started talking - before I said something else out loud, and Abe would certainly like that.

"What do you want from me, Zmey?", I said in the most serious and the most exasperated tone I could muster up, but it sounded like a scream so I sighed, trying to compose myself and failing miserably. "And what does Ms. Terwilliger have to do with this?" Ms. T. looked at me from her glasses and smiled.

"They really are involved, as you suspected, Ibrahim. She didn't even try to deny it." I immediately threw my hands up, exasperated. Abe and Ms. T. were an unexpected deadly combination. Well, deadly for me if they kept this up.

"I'm sorry for not sharing my love life with you, and I'm sorry for not screaming it out loud because I'm aware that the Alchemists would immediately send me to a Re-education centre, or, now that I think about it, they would probably just execute me, but I don't understand what my involvement with Adrian has to do with you, or with magic in my blood?!" After shouting that, I finally paused to breathe. Abe was still smirking, but Ms. T. got serious again.

"It's not a direct part of this, but you mentioned him, so we couldn't handle the temptation to confirm our suspicions.", Ms. T. said in a serious voice that turned into a smirk and she raised both her eyebrows. This body-talk started to unnerve me.

Abe's expression mirrored hers while he added, "Although he was very defensive towards Sonya when you refused her offer to give your blood so Moroi could taste it." He raised his eyebrows _again_, for like, the millionth time in five minutes.

I shivered at the mention of blood. No, nobody was going to taste it. My stomach was a hurricane, and I fought the urge to smile thinking about how it reflected the bar's name. Maybe there was something behind it, after all. Maybe only things like this happened in this bar.

"And now that I think about it, your mother always had a soft spot for me. There certainly is something in your blood that makes you special." Abe smirked and my mouth fell open.

"What? How do you know my mom?", I shouted. This was getting weirder and harder for me to comprehend by the second. And the room was spinning. I couldn't think anymore. I didn't even want to think anymore.

"Well, she wasn't involved with Jared when I met her..." He cleared his throat. "But she always knew about vampires. She helped us many times to avoid the Alchemists. And you are quite like her, now when I think about it." He grinned and looked at the ceiling, as if he was remembering something - something probably about my mom. I fought the urge to vomit.

"Then why did she marry an Alchemist? And why did she have problems with letting me and", I stopped myself before I said 'Zoe', since Abe probably didn't know about her becoming an Alchemist, "With letting me become an Alchemist?"

Abe paused for a second, obviously not noticing my slip-up. "Well, I suppose she fell in love. And being an Alchemist and a friend of the Moroi isn't the same, as you already know. She always had an attitude, and she probably wanted to protect you. But you were destined to meet me anyway", he said and grinned.

Ms. T. cleared her throat. "To get back to subject, my blood has been... tested", and she looked at Abe significantly, "And it has been discovered that it isn't repulsive to the Moroi."

I froze. I had two reasons - first was the fact that, judging by the suspicious glances between Ms. T. and Abe, suspicious scarf around Ms. T.'s neck and Ms. T.'s words, someone had bitten (and by 'someone' I mean a certain Russian vampire mobster) Ms. T. The other reason was the obvious one - they were implying that someone should taste my blood me too! Were they out of their minds?

"Okay. This is enough. I'm out of here.", I calmly said. I couldn't take anything anymore. My brain was shutting down, and I couldn't think anymore. I started getting up, but Ms. Terwilliger put a hand on my shoulder.

"This is important. If we find out that Strigoi can't digest the blood of anyone who practices magic, we will be able to find a rational solution to all of this and believe me, it will be easier to sleep at night knowing my blood is repulsive. But no. I don't fool myself. This is something unique about _you_. I understand that you don't want to know, but it is extremely important. Every second that passes with us fighting about this is a second that we won't spend in research and a second that will result in someone else turning Strigoi or someone else being killed. This is not just about you, Sydney. It's about everyone." I shook my head. Her arguments were important and they were valid, but no. I couldn't. I would never be able to forgive myself. It took days and days for me to just give a vial of my blood for research - how long it would take for me if I knew someone would _taste_ my blood? I felt dirty.

"I need Adrian", I whispered. It was the only clear thought in my head. He would know what to do and he wouldn't let them do this to me. He wouldn't let them.

"It will last for only a second, Sydney, and it can be from a vial for all that we care. Don't act like a child." Ms. T.'s voice was careful and soft, but it didn't trick me.

"I'd prefer the traditional way, Jacqueline. The blood is best from the source. You won't even feel it.", Abe said and grinned. And he thought that it was going to calm me?

Okay, that was too much for me. Ms. Terwilliger started to say something, but I cut her off. I snapped.

"What is wrong with you people?", I screamed. "You want to bite me, Zmey, an Alchemist! You actually want to bite me! What the hell is wrong with you? And you expect that I smile and say 'Okay' and expose my neck? Try any other Alchemist and see how they answer! I won't do it! I won't ever do it! I don't care about Moroi and Strigoi and witches anything! I was raised to fear all of you and now I see that the Alchemists were right! I'm not your breakfast, Zmey! I'm an Alchemist! Do you even know what that means? Do you even know how many things I had to get over to even start thinking about practicing magic? Do you even know what they'd do to me if they found out? What is wrong with you? And you actually let him do that to you!" I said that last part looking at Ms. T.'s scarf and she suddenly became uncomfortable, touching her neck. I breathed hard and I was sure that I would lose my consciousness in the next two seconds if they kept this on. I just couldn't breathe.

"Well, it was for the science", Ms. T. responded quietly, in a near-whisper. Louder, she said, "And if you are so uncomfortable with Ibrahim tasting it, why don't you do that with someone else? Adrian, for example? You two are, as you said, already involved."

I got up and Ms. T. couldn't stop me this time.

I turned around and whispered, "You can't ask that from me. Actually, you can't ask that from anyone. If you are crazy and if you are okay with that, I don't care. And I'm not okay with that." And then, gathering the last bit of strength and pride, as I left I said, "You can teleport yourself for all I care. I'm leaving."

And with that I got out of the bar, wanting to curl up in a ball or just sit there and wait for the lightening to strike me or something. Letting Adrian bite me? No. They were mad. And I was mad for even asking myself that question. And he would never do that without my permission, not even if Abe asked him to.

If I wasn't so worked up, I knew I'd start crying. But I didn't. I had to be strong... But this really was too much. No. They wouldn't take my blood from me. They wouldn't.

I wasn't sure if this day could get any worse, but it just did. And now I needed to go back to Amberwood and clean the Zoe-Neil mess.

Fantastic.


	5. Chapter 3, part one: Spirit Dream Two

**Author's note:** _Well, sorry to disappoint some of you guys, but I love to keep you waiting :D No, Adrian won't tell Sydney about meeting Zoe yet. First she has to tell him about Abe and Ms. T.'s little plan. And sorry if I'm bothering with Hopper too much but I think he deserves the main roll in my story! I just LOVE him!  
_

_Again, thank you everyone for your reviews, follows, etc. You really make me smile. And the rest of you who read and don't review, please do in the future! It takes a second, but it really helps me to know that I have support. If you don't like this - review too! I'd love to hear a critic's opinion too!_

_I hope to update at least one chapter until radio silence and the loss of Internet for a month._

_All the characters and the plot belong to the awesome Richelle Mead._

* * *

"Well, Hopper, we survived."

Hopper's tail swinged while he ran to the omelette I made for him a minute ago.

"Be careful, it's hot", I said as he ran. He was like every child (believe me, I am an expert since I live and work with children) so he didn't even bother to listen to me as he took too much and burned himself. He squeaked and that was signal for me to take over.

I quickly came and put Hopper in my hand.

"Well, you little monster, since you don't know how to eat slowly..." I closed my eyes and felt the familiar feeling of Spirit. It came from the center of me, spread through my body and finally reached my hands. I healed my son quickly and smirked, realising that I had a very rare and a very useful paternal skill. Maybe I was a good father after all.

Hopper certainly thought so. He curled himself in my hand and bit my pointing finger. It tickled, so I laughed and shook my head.

"No, no, you're not getting away with this." I grabbed a little piece of the omelette with my free hand and imitated an airplane with it.

"Open your mouth, Hopper, here comes the food!" Hopper obliged and ate the omelette from my fingers silently. I repeated the process until he squeaked and shook his head. Then I ate what was left, thinking what a great cook I was. Another paternal skill of mine.

"Don't fall asleep yet, buddy", I whispered, watching my son dose off in my hand, "Let me tuck us in first." Hopper blinked, his eyelids heavy, and looked at me with those big, brown eyes that physically reminded me of Sydney. Well, he was her son too, after all, and as much as I loved my royal emerald eyes, I loved seeing the molten gold on my child rather than my emerald eyes. I saw them in the mirror every morning. Girls wouldn't have been able to handle Hopper if he had inherited my eyes.

I carried Hopper to my bed, but first I undressed him. He was still wearing that "tuxedo" I made for him. Actually, I cut my old black shirt and made holes for his arms and legs, and used pins to keep it all together. Another paternal skill I possessed. Today he really looked like my son - Jill couldn't tear herself away from him, that high was the level of his cuteness. If Zoe wasn't there, she would have taken Hopper to her room.

But underneath all our happiness and manly toughness, Hopper and I both missed his mom. I had a talk with him and I tried to explain how Sydney wouldn't be able to see him often and how he was stuck with me for a while. Now, watching his eyes closing and his little chest slowly rise and fall, I fought the urge to cry. He was so beautiful. And even though he was a dragon, I was his father. And I loved him.

I sighed. If only Sydney was here with us. Hopper would fall asleep within seconds. I would, too. I wouldn't have to pull her into a spirit dream and explain anything, I would be able to just breathe in her scent and that would be enough. I would be peaceful, and I'm sure Sydney would be too. But most important of all, we'd be happy. And Hopper, Sydney and I would be a family. I sighed again. I daydreamed too much. The reality was painfully awful compared to what I wanted.

I sensed Sydney. She was asleep. It wasn't particularly late, but she was probably as tired as I was, if not more. I summoned spirit, constructed the mini-golf course where I went with Palm Springs gang so much time ago, and I pulled Sydney into the dream.

I found myself on the course, and everything was dark. What was that? Spirit's darkness didn't feel like this, but maybe I finally overdid it. After all, we were in my head.

"Adrian?", Sage whispered. I turned around and saw... Something that looked like Sage. Her hair was messy, she had circles underneath her eyes and her aura was so dark that I could barely look at her. Spirit was everywhere around us, so I couldn't really turn auras off, but I fought the urge to flinch. Sydney looked... Devastated.

"Honey", I whispered softly. "What happened?" I was going to walk carefully towards her, but she was already closing the distance between us and throwing herself into my arms.

"I don't want to cry", Sydney whispered. What the hell happened now? Did someone attack someone? Or was it something about Jackie? She was the person that dragged Sydney away from the meeting, after all.

Sydney breathed hard and she snuggled to my chest. She didn't say anything for a minute and I let her sort out her thoughts. Yes, I was impatient but she'd tell me when she was ready, whatever it was.

"Ms. Terwilliger set up a meeting with Abe. He knows that I practice magic and he knows about us. She told him everything." Okay. This was serious. Whenever Abe is involved, something suspicious is definitely going on.

"Wait a second", I said and then summoned my room. I led her to my bed and lay down, than sat up and Sydney put her head in my lap. She really looked like a person that was trying hard not to cry. She was that person.

I started pulling my fingers through her hair, and she closed her eyes. Her aura dimmed and brightened a little. Point for Adrian!

I smiled, but she didn't see and she continued, "But that was, like, the best part. Abe knows that my blood is repulsive to Strigoi. Ms. Terwilliger..." She stopped, waging her words. "She let him..." She stopped again and gulped, while I tried to understand what she wanted to say.

"She let him bite her. And so they discovered that a witch's blood isn't repulsive and that there is..." She paused, and then whispered, "And that there is something wrong with me." She turned her head towards my stomach and breathed slowly. I still touched her hair - it seemed to relax her.

I lowered myself and kissed the top of her head. "There is nothing wrong with you. You are the most beautiful woman in the whole universe, how can anything be wrong with you?" I felt her smile, her face still pressed to my stomach while my fingers were still tangled in her hair.

She took another deep breath. Was there more? What more could there be? "They want to..." She sighed. Suddenly, I understood. It was actually quite obvious - what could possibly upset Sydney this much?

"They want to taste your blood", I whispered and held her tighter. "And they will, over my dead body." Sydney visibly relaxed, but she shook her head.

"There is more. Abe wanted to... Do that, but I started shouting so Ms. Terwilliger had an idea..." I had no idea what Sage was talking about. Abe wanted to... He wanted to... I was suddenly so angry that I knew - if Abe was there, he would have been beaten up. That son of a ... He wanted to violate the most intimate aspect of her. I corrected myself - if he was there, I would have killed him.

Sage withdrew from my arms and looked me in the eyes. "She wanted you to do it", she whispered so softly that even with my Moroi hearing I barely heard.

I actually thought I imagined that, but she studied me with that amber eyes that pierced my soul as I tried to take this in. My initial reaction was want. I felt my heart rate increase. I wanted to do that, so badly. To feel her that way too. But then I became disgusted with my thoughts, with myself. Sydney was afraid. She was a human, an Alchemist. I'd never do that to her. I'd do it only if she asked me to. After that, I was confused. What did she think? Did she want someone to actually... Bite her? Did she actually want that?

As if she could read my thoughts, Sydney shook her head and threw herself at me once more. As I tangled my fingers in her hair once more, I whispered, "Don't worry, love. I'm disgusted by myself for even thinking about that. You know I'd never do that without you wanting it as much as I do. And you don't. Abe can go to hell for all that I care, but he can't make you do anything. I won't let him." She hugged me tighter and I kissed her temple, after that her nose, then her cheek, and finally her lips. If I hadn't held her, I think she would have just collapsed to the ground then and there.

We were quiet for a few minutes, and than it happened.

"Damn", I whispered before I could stop myself.

Sydney immediately pulled away and watched me with questioning eyes. But she was just a figure now, a figure in the darkness. I think it surely would have consumed me, if she didn't shine so brightly.

"A flame in the dark, lightening my way", I whispered, not even sure if she could hear me. It was cold and it was dark and only Sydney's yellow and purple aura shined in the room. I felt the darkness pulling me away from her, like it did so many times. I just needed to keep my eyes open. It would pass. It always did.

For a few moments, it was like we were suspended in time. I just looked at her and all that gold, feeling darkness creep up my back and the back of my arms and legs. I just needed to hold on for a second more. Just a second... But it was so tempting, to just let go. No, I wouldn't let Sydney's hands go. She was holding me tight. But she was just looking at me...

And then it all became a blur of motions. I felt like I was slapped. Hard. The darkness vanished and suddenly it was so light in the room that I had to put my arm over my eyes. Someone somewhere was shouting, "Oh my, God, I'm so sorry!" And I was just standing there, trying to adjust to the light. Wait a second, was I still in the dream?

I focused hard and a moment later, the lights dimmed so I was finally able to see.

I looked around. Sydney was standing a few feet away from me, her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide open, her expression horrified.

"What the hell just happened?", I said in what was supposed to be a calm voice.

Sydney blinked and started apologizing. "Adrian, I'm so sorry, I didn't know what to do..." I shook my head.

"Don't apologize. It's okay. But..." Oh my God. I suddenly understood. "Did you just slap me?" Sydney was looking at me, horrified, and I couldn't hold my laughter anymore. "Come here", I said and spread my arms towards her. She didn't hesitate and in a second she was snuggled on my chest, still murmuring her apologizes.

I kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry for scaring the hell out of you", I said. "Did I just... Freeze or something?"

Sydney nodded. "You said that sentence - how I was your flame in the dark. Then you just... Looked at me for a while, but your eyes weren't focused - it was as if you were looking through me. It was..." She shook her head. "I tried to talk you out of it, then I tried with touching you, but nothing worked. So I..." She stopped, seeming to be at a loss of words.

I nodded. "Don't worry, it's okay. I should be thanking you. I lost myself... For a while."

Then, of course, we started kissing. I was hungry for her and I suppose she let me only because I was having some sort of a breakdown. And she was too, I was sure of it. A moment later I lost myself. I stopped with all rational things - I didn't think, I didn't breathe, I didn't anything. It was just Sydney and me and this room made of Spirit.

Too soon, she pulled away, but just because she needed to breathe. I needed too, I suddenly remembered.

"Zoe was like a fury when I came back. She didn't even say 'Hi'. I talked with Ms. Weathers and she let us stay for one more night, until we settle at Clarence's. Was she angry that I didn't book a room in a hotel? Because I can't. She has to get used to you guys, and no matter what the Alchemists taught her, she will break out of it. If she doesn't, I'm..." She stopped and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Screwed. And not just you - we'd all be screwed up. But that won't happen." I kissed her forehead, and then smirked.

"So..." She watched me closely, as if questioning what disaster was I about to initiate.

"Do you want to hear how it went with Zoe? Hopper and I nailed her." I started laughing, seeing her expression that seemed to scream 'Oh no' and hugged her close.


	6. Chapter 3, part two: Finally, Zoe!

**Author's note:** _To remind you all, you don't have to have a profile to be able to write reviews :D_

_And finally, the long awaited chapter - Zoe meets Adrian! I am so, so excited! I can't wait to see if you all like it!_

_And no, of course this isn't real! All of this is just a product of my imagination, but I hope that something will actually be in the real The Fiery Heart! November seems so far away, but I try to be optimistic and remind myself that it's getting closer with every day!_

_HopperIvashkinator, CherrySlushLover - seriously, read their stories. There are many other talented people here, people that are good friends and that will support you. Everyone who reviewed my story are in that category, for sure. I love you guys - my reviewers, my supporters, my followers. You make me think that this story is actually worth something. A month ago I would have laughed if someone told me I'd write and that people would actually support me._

_Radio silence probably tomorrow, after I (hopefully) update another chapter._

_All the characters belong to the extremely talented Richelle Mead. And congratulations for finding out about your other baby! :)_

* * *

Oh, she was in for a big surprise.

Still hugging her, I leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Your sister is madly in love with me."

I couldn't see Sage's face, but I saw her aura and I couldn't refrain from laughing. It was red, but it didn't show affection.

Oh my. Sage was jealous. This was going to be catastrophic. Cataclysmic. But it made my stomach flip and I felt warmer.

Sage pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes. "Am I supposed to take that as sarcasm?" She was already blushing, but as much as I wanted to kiss her again and again and again to show her if that was sarcasm or not, I wanted to keep my act up for two more seconds.

Because the truth was, meeting Zoe was a disaster.

I sighed. I had to tell her. There was no avoiding this. "Well, Sage, when Jackie called me and told me that you were with her and that I needed to pull the meeting off without you, I really went to Clarence's determined to do just that. But I came last." Sydney shot me the 'Adrian' look and I put my hands up. "Well it's not my fault Castile likes to do everything exactly on time! And I had to take care of our son. That's the reason why I was late."

I got a raised eyebrow for that and I shrugged. "You know, the mother is supposed to do this stuff. You should make him breakfast, feed him, change his diapers, soothe him into sleep, dress him..."

Sage interrupted, laughing. "Come on!", she snorted and then I saw fire in her eyes, probably because I was raising my eyebrow, challenging her. "First", and she raised one finger, "Hopper doesn't need to be fed - and 'making breakfast' is what? Putting pie in front of him? Second", and she raised the other finger, "Hopper doesn't wear diapers. He's a big boy. And third", and she raised the third finger directly in front of my nose, "As soon as Hopper stops eating, he falls asleep. And he doesn't need clothes!" She was so worked up, her face flushed and sweaty. I wanted to pin her to the wall and never let our bodies disconnect. But, I had to defend my honor. She wasn't going to distract me with her beauty, not this time. Hopper was important.

"First", I said, shifted closer to Sage and raised a finger, mimicking her moves from a minute ago, "I made omelette for Hopper this morning. It was hot and he burned himself so I healed him and fed him. Second", I said, leaned in and raised another finger, "Hopper has a very fast metabolism. I practically had to run to the bathroom with him. He was scared of himself! How do you think I felt? And third", I said and leaned closer. She was only a breath away. I raised another finger and whispered, "I sang him a lullaby. And made him a tuxedo for the meeting."

We watched each other for another moment, breathing hard. God. Is this how women won every argument? Because it was working!

She pulled me to her, or I pulled her to me, or whatever. I couldn't hold on for another second not to touch her. I needed her. And obviously, she needed me too. I put my hands on her waist and she ran her hands through my hair, making me shiver. I growled, pulled her closer and finally did what I wanted for so many minutes in this dream - I pinned her to that wall. It was impossible to be closer. She was like a sheet of a paper between the wall and me, moaning and gasping and fighting for air.

Too soon, we both pulled away, breathing hard.

"You cooked for Hopper, you fed him, sang him a lullaby and made clothes for him", Sydney whispered, giggling, her eyes closed, her nose gently touching my cheek.

"And don't forget the bathroom", I said and smiled too. Sydney nodded and pulled me to her once more, kissing me passionately. The kiss deepened within seconds and I had to pull away, again.

"This torture has to stop", I said and Sydney nodded.

"I can't even remember how it feels to really touch you. But you're right", Sage said and looked at me seriously. "What really happened this morning? Zoe is mad at me and I have no idea why, Jill is screaming like a maniac about Hopper and how cute he is, Eddie said he didn't want to say anything and that you had to tell me and Angeline is still acting strange. What is going on? Was it that bad?" I took her arm and led her to my bed. We both lay down and she snuggled herself on my chest. I sighed again.

"As I said before, I fed and dressed Hopper and told him to be silent the whole time. I put him in my pocket and drove to Clarence's. I was late and when Dorothy led me in, it was already a war zone." Sydney sighed and put her hand on her forehead.

"Let me guess - Jill and Eddie couldn't stop Zoe and Angeline from trying to kill each other."

I nodded. "Zoe was trying to punch Angeline and she just managed to release herself from Jill's grip when Zoe looked at me. Her eyes widened and she didn't see Angeline coming, so she hit her in the arm, breaking it, but Eddie put himself in front of Zoe and took the worst of the attack. Imagine what would have happened if Eddie didn't throw himself in front of Zoe - she would have died, and I'm dead serious when I say this. Angeline is that strong. But not strong enough to break any of Eddie's bones, thankfully. That was so shocking for Zoe - I mean, how could a vampire-human unnatural abomination put himself in front of a human? And she swooned. She actually lost consciousness! But I think I am the main cause of that", I said and grinned. Sydney was covering her face with both of her hands now.

"Dear Lord", she whispered.

"Don't be too mad. I picked her up, carried her to the couch and healed her."

Sage just nodded and whispered "Thank you", kissing my chest. I felt warm again. She accepted this aspect of me too? So she loved me, all of me? And she loved and could handle my magic too? I didn't know what to say - I was overwhelmed with emotions, so I just tightened my grip on my Sage. My love. My life. My everything. Life without her now seemed... Insignificant, empty and cold.

"When Zoe woke up, she saw me first. I was a meter away and she... She got scared, I guess. But I was worried about her - she's your sister, after all. And her initial reaction was..." I sighed, knowing that Sage was listening closely. "She punched me in the face, okay? And Jill started screaming. And then Zoe started shouting how we were evil and how she couldn't take it anymore and how I was going to bite her but she, thankfully, woke up. I know she's your sister, but she is a psycho. Or maybe it's just the Alchemists. But you were never like that." I stopped. Sydney was trembling with laughter beneath me.

"And it gets better!", I cried. If I wasn't busy with talking, I would have actually been embarrassed. I mean, somebody punched me? Hello, I was _Adrian Ivashkov!_ That was a shocking disastrous event! So I just continued talking. "I went to the bathroom and as soon as I closed the door, Hopper started squeaking and he was angry and worried about me. I healed myself and told him to stay silent, assuring him I was okay. When I came out I started making order - I'm the oldest one here, after all."

Sydney laughed again. "Maybe your body is, but your brain certainly isn't. It's on the same level as Hopper's", she said and giggled. Sydney Sage was giggling in my bed, snuggled on my chest. What has become of the world? And I actually liked this. I wanted it to be like this every day. It was so easy to forget we were in a dream.

"Hey, Hopper is advanced. Dragons of his age don't even talk! And he must be too smart when his mom is, like, the encyclopedia of the world." I kissed the top of Sage's head and continued, even though she was still giggling.

"So first thing I did was tell Neil about the situation and I gave him the order to pack everything, all your stuff, since you're all staying at Clarence's. Those were Eddie's orders too. Even though I'd prefer..."

Sage cut me off. "I'd think about it if Zoe wasn't here. I really would. I'd try to survive Eddie and Angeline finding out about us and probably becoming disgusted and I don't know what. But not with Zoe here." She looked at me significantly and I saw truth in her eyes. _She wasn't afraid of me_, I tried to reassure myself. _She was never afraid of me. The Alchemists are the problem. _We both sighed.

"After Neil left, I had a talk with Angeline. I told her I'd call Lissa and she'd get her back to the Keepers if she didn't stop acting like a wild cat. She left to help Neil, and then the air became lighter in the house. I had a talk with Zoe in front of Jill and Eddie and told her that she'd disappointed you, that she was acting like a maniac, that she was immature and that she needed to stop intimidating Angeline. But Angeline was right to be mad, even though she didn't have to react like that. Jill told me she called her a blood-whore." Sydney shivered.

"I don't know how she even knows that term", she said.

I continued. "And then comes the best part. Zoe just bit her lower lip, checked me out head-to-toe and blushed when she saw that I was looking at her with a raised eyebrow. I mean, I actually expected this, but I didn't expect this." I shook my head. Sydney looked at me with wide eyes, knowing I wasn't mocking her anymore.

"Jill got a message through the bond and she went to feeding with Eddie. I wanted to be alone with her for a minute, to see what was the problem. And when they were gone, Zoe immediately stood up, but she kept her distance. And she said, exact words, 'You are too pretty for a Moroi. I'm not sorry for punching you. I'm just sorry that I didn't hit you hard enough to leave a mark.' But it's not my fault that she was crazy about me - we were even dressed the same! And that look... Like she was going to throw herself at me at any moment. She was so angry because I'm a Moroi. She wanted me to be human so she could try to claim me only for herself." I chuckled and noticed that Sydney stiffed beside me.

"I don't like this, at all", she said.

"I know. She was watching me like I was a model or an ancient China vase or something. She is nothing like you, except maybe the eyes. But they're not even the same shade. She doesn't remind me of you. Maybe you were like that when you were younger, but I seriously doubt it. You were always calm and composed and you always put everyone else before your feelings. And she does just the opposite - she is anything but calm and composed and she always puts her emotions in front of everything else." I shook my head and laughed. Sydney touched my cheek with her hand and I leaned into the touch.

"Zoe was always different. And she was always envious because I was the Alchemist in the family - so dad always "cared", if you can say so, more for me. She grew up in that agenda that said 'Being an Alchemist is awesome' and for a while I believed it too. I'd do anything to make my father happy, even if it meant giving up on all my dreams. But when I got my first assignment, I realised just how great the sacrifice is. I can't have friends that aren't Alchemists, Adrian. I must act like I hate all of you - and by 'you' I mean Moroi and dhampirs. I must marry an Alchemist if I ever want to 'retire' from this job, if something like that even exists. I have to stay up late every night to write reports. I constantly feel like somebody's watching me. I'm afraid that if I fail, they are going to do something very, very bad to me."

Sydney sighed, stopped for a second and then continued. "I can't have a normal life - I can't go to college, have a normal boyfriend, I don't know, do what normal people do. I was thrown into the lion's mouth when I was sixteen and they left me all by myself. In Russia. Away from everyone and everything I ever cared about. But then I met Rose. And everything changed. And then I met you, and I changed. Now they want to do the same to Zoe too, even though I sacrificed everything so that she could be safe. But dad doesn't trust me, not after what happened. He just thinks I'm a disappointment, as he always thought. I just... I don't know, I fooled myself that he actually loved me and cared about me. And I think that he always thought Zoe should have been the Alchemist in the family, and I should have... I don't know if he thought about me at all." She took a deep breath and then whispered, "And it hurts to realise this. All of this."

I let Sydney finish what I suspected was spilling everything in her heart and mind for the first time in her life. And I was lucky I was there when that happened - I listened closely to every word. I just hugged her tightly in response and we were quiet for a few minutes. I was thinking about what I could do to make this better - could I get her into college? Could I kill every Alchemist everywhere in the world so that they wouldn't try to hurt her? Could I protect her? Was she right to sacrifice everything _again_, but for me this time? Would I disappoint her? Would Zoe unerstand anything of what Sydney wanted to say to her? And how could I make her feel better when she lived with a father that never loved her? A father that just tortured her and didn't see that she tried her best, so it was normal for her to succeed, but when she failed, it was a huge deal! I was angry at that man. He was guilty of everything - I was pretty certain that Sydney was insecure because of him. Go to Russia at the age of sixteen and live there by herself - it was, like, the worst case scenario. I imagined the little Sydney all on her own in that coldness and I suddenly felt very sad. I couldn't protect her. And those damn Alchemists have damaged her so badly, but nobody saw that since nobody cared enough for her.

How could someone not care for her? How could someone do anything bad to her? How could anyone be able not to love her? I just hoped that I could repair her. That I could mentally heal her. I was so relieved that she finally decided to open herself to me. She finally decided to let me help. And hell, I was going to take what she gave me. I was going to try and even if it killed me, not the Alchemists or her father or an army of Strigoi would hurt her. She was going to be safe. I was going to make sure of it.

Her aura was telling me that she was becoming rapidly scared. What was going on? Did I do something?

"Why are you scared?", I said softly.

Sydney took a deep breath. "I... You didn't say anything. And I thought... I thought maybe you didn't... Maybe I..." Sydney wasn't usually like this, so I cut this off and hugged her even tighter.

"No, of course not. I was just thinking about your words."

"And?", she asked in a near-whisper.

"I'm angry, Sydney." She shuddered when I said her name and I smirked, but then I remembered what we were talking about and sighed.

"I wish I could have protected you. You are so brave and so amazing and nobody even knows that. And I want you to know this - you don't have to be scared of the Alchemists or anyone. I will protect you know, even if it kills me. You mean everything to me. And..." I paused and continued in a low voice. "I'm so glad you decided to open yourself up to me, Sage. It's wonderful. I'm so happy. I want you to always do this when you feel like it's too much. Hell, even if it isn't, you still tell me what's on your mind."

She nodded and smiled And I hugged her, again. I lowered myself and kissed the top of her head and she sighed, but it was a happy sigh.

"So it's a mess. Everything's a mess. Okay. I dealt with worse. But I have a plan already - an excuse for you to come see me." She winked and I kissed her softly.

"I love you, my brainiac", I said, laughing.

"I love you too, my housewife", she whispered, giggling. "And I miss my son. Kiss him and tell him I love him too. And you have to tell me about that lullaby."

And that was it. She told me she loved me. This was it. I shivered and closed my eyes - it was as if I was flying. Damn, I was in love. And I loved being in love. Nothing and nobody mattered anymore. Sage was mine and I was hers and we would make this work - hell, we already did. And love was stronger than Abe Mazur, the Alchemists, Strigoi or vampire hunters. Love was honest and beautiful. And the love of my life was lying next to me in a dream now.

I kissed her as if I was a dying man.

* * *

_Okay, so this was short and sweet and I like it._

_And just skip this if it's so boring, but I HAVE to make a list of my supporters! I am so, so shocked to see that this many people like my story! It is AWESOME! And this list is, like, the worst way to thank you! And hey, around 20 reviews and follows and that - it seems like nothing, but it's a HUGE deal! Thank you, everyone, again!_

_And, number one supporter would be (of course) HopperIvashkinator. She is the person that made me start, that still helps me write and I love her so much._

_Number two would be my fellow friend CherrySlushLover - she is so talented and so persistent, not giving up on my story!_

_Number three would be my fellow reader Alyssa1696 - she always reviews and reminds me that someone actually loves this story!_

_And number four would be Hannah (that unfortunately doesn't have a profile so I hope she reads this) - that also spends her time in reviewing and reading this! Thank you!_

_And I just need to mention everyone else : spilledinks, dean-and-his-cutie-pie, MilankaLovesMetal, jreads12, KeepCalmAndDream and, of course, the brave people that don't have profiles but that still reviewed : anonymous, Guest, sydney ivashkov, Lollipop, fgfdgg and Sam. Seriously guys, if you didn't support me, I wouldn't see point in writing._

_And my followers : ABprongslett, FlorrieSysMoo, Jveisoawesome, KyKat, Lany, Littlemissartsi, LoverBoyDirtyDancing, MissHoppy, Shivani94, heHappyLol, a-panther-and-her-prince, ashleynicole72, foxygirlxx, glampyre, it makes sense in context, kristeniskool4698, nira avalon and wrongdaughter. You are a huge support too!  
_

_And those who marked my story as favourite (I'll mention several people again but they deserve it!) : ABprongslett, FlorrieSaysMoo, HopperIvashkinator, KeepCalmAndDream, LoverBoyDirtyDancing, Mary Ann Evans Potter, MilankaLovesMetal, Shivani94, TheHappyLol, casstella, coolisus and laneereed. I love you all._

_Thank you again, everyone!_


	7. Chapter 3, part three: Betraying Her

**Author's note: **_I forgot about those Tweets for a while. My story is starting to swirl out of control and is really starting to go more and more far away from what it was supposed to be. The reason for that is that I just can't predict whether Richelle put the vampire hunters, the Alchemists, the Re-education or the Moroi government in the center of the story. I have several guesses, but I'm pretty sure I made so many wrong presumptions so far that I'm going to be ashamed of myself when The Fiery Heart comes out. But since you all like it, I hope not everything is lost. :)_**  
**

_I'd like to thank EVERYONE again (and no supporters-lists now, I promise) for their kind words and their support. But I can't resist to mention HopperIvashkinator again - she is like a sister to me thanks to FanFiction. So thank you. Everyone._

_And please don't forget to review! It makes me so happy to read your opinions!_

_I expect at least one more chapter before radio silence and it will be up soon! Or at least I hope so._

_Of course, all the characters belong to the beautiful Richelle Mead. And I'm going to put a real quote in the chapter - so it belongs to Richelle too!  
_

* * *

I woke up unwillingly. Hopper, my dear love child, ended the spirit dream where it was getting more and more steamy by the seconds. And what a wake-up call it was! Better than any alarm clock. And louder, unfortunately.

I opened my eyes and Hopper immediately stopped squeaking. He watched me with those adorable eyes of his and his tail was swinging. He was so cute that I couldn't help but forgive him from ending his dad's and mom's dream. I touched his head with my nose and he immediately closed his eyes, making a quiet high sound that seemed to say 'I love you, dad'.

"I love you too, buddy.", I said softly.

After feeding Hopper and myself (and I couldn't help but remember that I needed to be fed with another type of food too) and telling Hopper that I was going to college, that I would be away for a couple of hours, that he shouldn't touch anything with his teeth and that he should try not to kill himself somehow and after having a speech about responsibility and how disappointed I'd be if he did something awful, I got myself ready for the day and hit the road.

And I was enthusiastic today - I was a college student and I took painting classes. I loved painting and I loved how Sydney loved me loving painting. She didn't have a way of expressing herself - minutes ago, in that dream, I was so shocked that she actually found a way to express herself. I was waiting for it for months - I didn't know if she wrote poems or if she sang or if she was another kind of an artist, but I searched for signs of it for months and I never found any. She was so busy with her job as an Alchemist and with making everyone happy (including me - actually, I was the biggest part of it) that she forgot herself and what she loved and wanted.

It seemed like such a long time ago when I felt her watching me that day, painting on T-shirts for those girls while we were on an important task of hunting Jackie's sister (at least we thought we were hunting for her). And I felt her aura shine with affection for me, but I couldn't understand why. The whole time, she was watching me. And I didn't understand what was so intriguing with me painting until she said that she couldn't paint and that she didn't have any creativity. But I wanted to bring that creativity to the surface - I knew she had it in her. That purple told me so. And she was mesmerized by the way I could just paint, create images out of nothing and show the world what I felt through that. She couldn't, she never even tried. But yeah, I forgot that father of hers trained her as if she was a dog, and she was obedient. I was disgusted by how I told her, months ago, how she didn't fight back.

Oh man. I was so wrong.

I didn't even notice I was daydreaming until someone snapped with his fingers and called "Earth to Adrian! Did that hair gel finally eat your brain?" And that someone was Rowena Clark.

**Rowena Clark and I had met on the first day of our mixed media class. I'd sat down at her table and said, "Mind if I join you? Figure the best way to learn about art is to sit with a masterpiece." Maybe I was in love, but I was still Adrian Ivashkov.**

**Rowena had fixed me with a flat look. "Let's get one thing straight. I can see through crap a mile away, and I like girls, not guys, so if you can't handle me telling you what's what, then you'd better take your one-liners and hair gel somewhere else. I don't go to this school to put up with pretty boys like you. I'm here to face dubious employment options with a painting degree and then go get a Guinness after class."**

**I'd scooted my chair closer to the table. "You and I are going to get along just fine."**

So now we were like BFF or something. We sat together, I said that her paintings were disgusting and she said she wanted to puke when she saw mine. I wanted to find out if this was another one of those days.

I didn't remember drawing Sydney, all in purple and gold. Man, it looked good. Even though theme of the day was "Still life". Wow. Drawing fruit. Sydney surely counted as a banana, or as an apple. Even though she gained several pounds during the last few months. And I liked it. She didn't look like some twisted Moroi anymore. And it was again (I was sure of it) her father's fault! Did that man leave any part of Sydney untouched? And she obeyed him once more - he probably said something like 'If those evil creatures of the night can be skinny, why can't you?' I just loved her for putting up with all of that. And that, that scumbag, he didn't even notice. He never noticed her. But of course, he noticed when she helped Rose and he noticed when Keith reported her. Thank God that we cleared our path of at least that jerk.

"Seriously, I am going to punch you in the face if you don't focus. I was speaking to you." I shook my head and put on my famous smirk.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't hear." The look on her face told me something was wrong. Did I say something while I was thinking?

"For five minutes. And for, like, 20 times I said the same sentence." I laughed.

"Okay, sorry. What were you saying, really? I'm listening now." And I yawned, closed my eyes and put my head on the table, mimicking snoring.

She sighed. "What has come into you? That thing you painted is more disgusting than usual." I opened one eye and smirked.

"Oh, thanks. That attempt of a banana is pretty awful too. It looks like a moon." She laughed.

"It is supposed to be an orange!"

"Oh, my bad. I didn't know oranges were yellow." She hit me in the arm.

"Well, I don't know what that is supposed to represent, but I've never seen a golden-purplish fruit. That has a face. Is that some kind of a mutated avocado or something?"

So yeah, my morning went by pretty fast and pretty optimistic. Rowena was a very good friend, and even though I didn't know her long, she and I got along fine. More than fine, actually. She was as good in sarcasm as I was.

But yeah. All good mornings have to come to an end some time. Wearing my sunglasses, walking down the college with my smirk, messy hair and my (and Sage's) favorite emerald button-up shirt, I was supposed to think about my next picture or where I'd buy canvases or something like that. But I couldn't help but wonder what was going on down in Amberwood. Sage was under a lot of pressure - and she was going to live at Clarence's for a while now. What would Zoe say? Would she already report to the Alchemists that something was wrong? Well, Sydney was her sister, after all! I didn't know what kind of a bond that was, but by watching people I learned that it was supposed to be a strong one. I just hoped it was in Sage family.

So I decided to drive to Amberwood. Hopper wasn't going to die of starvation - I left him some pie and he was locked down so hopefully, he wasn't going to kill himself or try to run away. And I needed to see Sydney - first, she had a plan to call me for help in 'moving'. But Eddie probably took all the stuff in one hand and walked on foot to Clarence's. And these hands didn't do manual labor. Oh, I was going on such great lengths for my Sage. Secondly, I needed to really see her, hopefully steal a glance and maybe, just maybe, steal a touch or a kiss too. For real. Spirit dreams were real enough, but they weren't _real_. And thirdly, I wanted to see that she was okay and that she wasn't going to have a nervous breakdown.

But I still shouldn't have been surprised when I saw her aura from the parking lot. She was close by and she was... Whew. Like a tornado. She was either crying (having that breakdown) or she was fighting someone. But she was angry like hell.

I found her in the yard, her face flushed and her eyes blazing with fire. Of course, she was fighting Zoe and I couldn't help but notice how much they looked alike - they both had golden lilies, brown eyes, they had similar face structure and skin color... But Sydney looked more fierce.

I know I shouldn't have interfered - I should have waited in her room or done something Castile asked of me, but no. I knew Sydney was on the verge of either killing her, or crying and I didn't want that to happen. I swore to myself I'd protect her. And yeah, her sister was a danger for her right now. And I was going to stop this.

Hopefully, with my _Adrian Ivashkov _charm.

As I came closer, I could hear what they were saying.

"Stop it, Zoe! You see enemies everywhere!", Sydney was saying in a voice that was on a so high frequency that it could almost be counted as a scream.

"And I thought we were going to have a nice time here - you were going to tell me what to do, you'd teach me how to stay calm in front of _them_", she said with an emphasis, "And dad would be proud of me and everything would be fine. But no. On the first day of me being an Alchemist, you find some teacher and go God knows where, and on the second day you are dumping me because of a vampire?" She whispered the last word. And no - I saw it in her aura that she was going to say something really bad to Sydney, something that was going to hurt her worse than an army of Strigoi. But I was still too far. They couldn't even see me. So all I could do was watch and hope that Zoe was going to change her mind. But I tried to hurry - in a speed that at least seemed normal.

I was too late. "What kind of a sister are you? You reported of Keith, you didn't let me become an Alchemist because of your ambitions, and now that I'm here, you're planning what? To scare me off so I'd resign or something?" And Sydney's aura exploded. I knew that there was fire in her eyes. But I was close now. Not close enough yet.

"Actually, Zoe, I was planning just that. You are not supposed to be an Alchemist. This is a way of life that would be awful for you. You have to sacrifice everything for this. I did, and I won't let you do the same." Zoe's aura swirled, but it was nothing compared to Sydney's. Okay. This was the end of her patience and if Zoe said one more sentence, Sydney was going to break. No, no, no. Don't break now. Hold on a little longer, my flame in the dark.

"First of all, I don't see what's so awful in being an Alchemist. Wow, I have to survive unnatural creatures and I can't go to college, but screw that!"

"You did not just swear in front of me!" But I was here, thanks to God, to stop this from developing further.

"Okay, Sage sisters, I am sorry to interrupt your little chat, but I can't go into girls' dorm without..." I stopped, furrowing my eyebrows. Without support? Without escort? Security code? "_Girls._ And I can't find Jailbait anywhere, so do me a favor and be my escort." I raised an eyebrow at Zoe. And tried to ignore Sydney's horrified face. I knew the reasons she looked like this, but Zoe would surely misinterpret it and think that she was afraid of me because she was worked up and didn't have time to put her mask on.

"Of course, Lord Ivashkov." She said and nodded. Then she turned to Sydney. "I'll escort him to our room. We're not finished with this conversation."

Sydney shook her head. "No, I'll do it. I need to..." She paused for a second, seeming to try to get herself to think, "I need to get something from my room anyway."

Zoe shook her head. They were, like, standing there and shook heads at each other. "No. I need experience."

Now it was Sydney's turn. "No, I actually _have_ experience."

Zoe turned around and faced me. Fear radiated from her aura, but she seemed to be watching something behind me.

"What do you think, Lord Ivashkov? Would you prefer Sydney, or me, to escort you to our room?" And she smiled that dangerous smile.

Sydney was going to kill me. She was going to cut my head off and burn it. Or... she was going to take my hear gel and leave me to die. But Zoe expected me to say 'Sydney'. She wanted to suspect something and immediately report Sydney. I saw it in her aura.

I looked my Sydney in the eye and saw her hopeful face. I tried to show with my eyes that this wasn't how it seemed. But I knew she wouldn't understand, not while her aura was a tornado. But I'd think about it later.

'Zoe', I said. Betrayal shone in her aura and than it just... Dimmed. My heart broke watching her like this. But what could I do? Zoe was so happy in this moment and she was waiting for me to go.

But Sydney was already gone, with that purple aura that suddenly became grey. And I knew I hurt her. I knew I hurt myself, too. But it was already done, so I gathered the last bit of strength in me, turned around and followed Zoe, while I wanted to take my Sydney in my arms and never let her go.

Why the hell did I even come? Why couldn't I just wait for her in her room? She could handle Zoe. But she couldn't handle me. Damn Alchemists. They didn't even know what they did and how hard they made this.

She was crying now, I was sure.

I had to find her as soon as possible.


	8. Chapter 4, part one: Breaking Down

**Author's note: **_Thank you, everyone, for the millionth time. You have no idea what wonderful supporters you are.  
_

_And don't forget to review, no matter if you have a profile or not!_

_Someone gets a part of the author's note again! Yay! And I mention: __HopperIvashkinator, CherrySlushLover and damonforever86! _So don't read this - go and read their stories. They're better than this. :D

_I expect radio silence... tomorrow, maybe? I don't even know anymore. I just know it will be soon. And if there are new chapters that look like nothing, they are updated from my phone. I just can't live with the fact that you'll all be here for months, waiting for me to update. And FanFiction won't let me :(_

_Of course, all the characters belong to the fantastic Richelle Mead. _

_And I'm enthusiastic today - two chapters already! Yay! If I have time, I'll write the third one too! I'm crazy, I know. But you all love me and I love you too :)  
_

* * *

That was it. I was on the edge for days now, but this was the last drop. I couldn't anymore. I knew Adrian had very good reasons to say what he did, but it stung anyway. It hurt. A lot. And not even Zoe's words about what a bad sister I am didn't do it. But that one word from his mouth did it. And I couldn't hold myself together anymore. I didn't care about Zoe or what she'd think, about the Alchemists or the school or anything at all. I turned around and walked away, tears already coursing down my cheeks. But I didn't care. I just wanted to bury myself somewhere. Anywhere. I couldn't look into those betraying emerald eyes anymore. Not even knowing that the betrayal wasn't real. I wanted to be alone now.

So I just went into the school yard, knowing everyone was gone until now, as I should have been. And I was right - the yard was empty. I sat down under a tree and let myself go. Finally. I wasn't the kind of a girl that cried, or that showed emotions at all. But I was so sad and angry...

The first problem was Zoe. She thought I didn't love her, that I considered her a burden and that for me, my job was more important than her. She didn't know that this job took everything from me and that my worst nightmare wasn't Re-education, but that damn golden lily on her cheek. So I cried because it happened - they took my baby sister. They claimed her and she was one of them now. I didn't cry because it was unfair of her to say that I wanted to scare her off and claim all the glory for myself. I cried because she was one of them now. And her job was more important to her than I was. And I didn't want that.

Zoe wanted dad to be proud of her, and he was. He loved her and always wanted for _her_ to be an Alchemist. But he didn't love me. I was deceiving myself for years that Jared Sage just didn't know how to show his emotions. But no. He knew, he just didn't show them because he didn't have any towards me. And I always, always listened to him. I threw food away so that I could be skinny like Moroi. It was wonderful to be 6 years old and not to eat chocolate. Or bread. Or anything that tasted good, actually. And he enjoyed me torturing myself because I loved him more than I did my body. And I hated my body because he hated it too.

Then I didn't go to school, even though I wanted to so badly. And I stopped dreaming about architecture and college and living a life as a normal person, teaching others all the things I loved. I learned everything dad wanted me to learn and played with the periodical table instead of with dolls.

And then he decided that 16 was old enough to live on my own. He decided that Russia was a warm and a happy place for his daughter to live in and get rid of dead bodies. Because he knew I wanted to go to Rome. So he chose the opposite.

And then he decided that Keith was right and that I should have been sent to Re-education. But I wasn't stupid so I uncovered his illegal business. And then what? He assured himself that I set him up because I hated him! And I did. I hated Keith. But I hated Jared more. Not 'dad'. I didn't have a dad. I never did. The fact that we shared the same blood disgusted me now.

So I cried because Jared never loved me. And I was never good enough for him. He watched me, hoping I'd fail. He watched me, hoping I'd miraculously turn into Keith. He hated the fact that I shared his blood. He never protected me from the Alchemists or from anything not in his interest, really. And it wasn't fair. I finally confronted myself and realised that I was never loved. And I gave everything I had while in deceive that love existed.

And finally, the third reason I cried was Adrian. Okay, he loved me and I loved him and we were madly in love with each other and I didn't question that. But how could he? How could he choose Zoe? How could he look me in the eyes afterwards? How could he claim that he loved me and then choose my sister instead? So then I feared. I feared he'd fall for Zoe. We looked similar, she was younger, she didn't have body issues, her dad loved her, she didn't order cutting of an eye from someone, she wore colored clothes, she was prettier, she had brown hair, she didn't deny that she loved him for months, she didn't date a guy called _Brayden_, she wasn't closed in herself and she was a lot more communicative.

And oh, I forgot, she wasn't a witch. She didn't make him take care of some weird creature that she called Hopper. She didn't name cars. She didn't even love cars. She could understand art. She was creative. I faced the truth - Zoe was a lot better than I was. And I was nothing. I had no good characteristics. I had just... That blond hair that swirled in every direction in the morning. And I had that golden lily. Adrian knew it all. Did he change his mind? Did he realise he could have a better girl for himself? Did he realise that it was too hard for us to be together, and that with Zoe it could be so easy? It hurt like hell to tell myself all of this. And it hurt even worse, realising it might be true. Realising I could lose him, and that I was jealous of my sister.

So I just cried. I cried and cried and cried until I heard a sound that alerted me someone was approaching. Was the school over? I glanced at my clock. No. I was here for just half an hour.

It was _him_. I couldn't deal with him now. Not while I looked this ugly, not while crying, not while I was this vulnerable.

"I don't want to talk to you, Adrian", I whispered, knowing he could hear me. But I also knew I couldn't stop him and that within seconds he was going to tell me something that would make me believe him and everything would be okay for a minute. I didn't want that. It'd hurt to just look him in the eyes, knowing he betrayed me. I let out a sob. God, I couldn't even control myself anymore. I was a total mess.

"It's just me", a familiar voice whispered.

It was Jill.

"Jill, if he sent you, just go back. I want to be alone now", I said and sniffed.

Jill sat next to me and hugged me.

"No, he didn't send me. He's looking for you in the parking lot now, trying to see if you've gone somewhere with the car." I shook my head.

"I can't confront him like this. I can't confront anyone like this." Jill sighed and I shifted myself so that my head was in her lap.

Those jade green eyes were watching me with innocence, concern and with love. So I decided to tell her everything that was on my mind.

I told her about Zoe and what she thought of me. I told her about Adrian and what I was afraid for. And I told her I loved him with all my heart now, and that I wasn't the one to give up this time.

She was shocked. She hugged me tight and shook her head. "No, Sydney. Adrian is... He is mad for you. All he thinks about is you. And all she sees is you. Everywhere, in everyone. Today, he should have painted some fruit in his classes and you know what he painted? You", she said and smiled.

"I don't know whether I should take that as a compliment or not. I mean, I look like fruit?", I said and smiled. I immediately felt better, and lighter. The only burden on my shoulders now was the awful truth about my father that I just began to tell Adrian about. And I was finding out about it myself along the way.

Jill giggled and shook her head. "You missed the point! When he looks at Zoe, you know what he sees?"

"Me?", I said with an arched eyebrow.

Jill shook her head. "No. In Zoe he sees you as everyone else sees you. Eyes that don't look like molten gold, girl that is not too skinny, girl that has a normal skin tone, normal hair, normal aura, normal everything. He doesn't see anything special in her, anything special that you have. He doesn't see the purple in her aura. He doesn't see the golden eyes and hair, as if you were a goddess. He doesn't see that Zoe is too skinny or that she gained an invisible pound and he isn't as happy as he is when he realises that about you. He doesn't see your smile when she smiles and he doesn't see any aspect of her as he does with you. With you, every detail is important. It's important if you wear a white or a grey shirt, it's important if it's a button-up or not, it's important how big the neckline is, it's important how long it takes for you to blink, it matters if there is a spot of purple or two in your aura... You just, you're everything. And he is overwhelmed by you. And he loves being overwhelmed by you."

Jill smiled, seeing my flushed face and my shocked expression. I mean, wow. He thought all of that? But I was mesmerized by a sentence. If it's possible for a sentence to stand out in this whole speech.

"He noticed a gained a pound? And he's not disgusted?", I asked and Jill giggled.

"You know what, Sydney? When I look at you, I see a skinny girl. But when Adrian sees you, he sees a skinny girl that is a bit too skinny and that gained an inch over there and over here and that is a good sign. And she can't fit into those slacks size 1 anymore." She giggled again. "So yeah. He sees more than I do. And he wants you to be healthy. I know it's hard, but I can see that you're also trying." I nodded.

"Thank you, Jill.", I said and hugged her. "Zoe is my sister, but you're my _sister_. And it's worth more." Jill blushed and smiled.

"No problem. Now, may I try to defend the guy who made you cry and feel jealous and insecure and hurt and betrayed?", she said, still smiling. I sighed and nodded.

"Okay. It's better to hear the explanation from you than looking into those emerald eyes. I couldn't handle it." I laughed and Jill did too.

"So. Adrian saw your aura was like a nuclear bomb and he wanted to stop the fight before you had a nervous breakdown. And he really tried. And when Zoe asked him if she'd like him to escort him to your room, he saw ulterior motives in her aura. If he, obviously, asked you, Zoe would have a reason to suspect that something is going on. And she wanted to suspect because she wanted to prove to your dad that she is worth of being an Alchemist. And you are an enemy to her now, since you told her you wanted to scare her off. So Adrian didn't have choice. He'd rather hurt you than lose you. And he is mentally devastated now. He feels as if he hurt himself."

I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I'm not mad at him. I just... I can't help but feel like he betrayed me. And even though I say to myself over and over again that he did it because he had to, I still feel hurt. I guess it'll pass." Jill nodded.

"Okay. My mission here is completed. You are not angry and he is going to die until he finds you - no matter how much I love Adrian, he deserves this - and when he does, you are going to be together forever and everything is going to be fine." He stood up and started jumping around. "Jill, your plan is fantastic!"

I laughed and hugged her.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Jill. I'd still be crying and I'd be God knows where." Jill blushed.

"Don't mention it. So, I better go before Angeline kills someone." Be both smiled and said our goodbyes.

And just like that, Jill was gone and all enthusiasm with her. I felt sad and like I wanted to cry again, so I decided that it was better to get back to business.

I went back to my room and I met Eddie on the way.

"Hey, Sydney. Jill just passed by and said that everything is okay", and he leaned close and whispered, "And that you had a fight with Zoe. Is everything okay? And I don't want to pry, but Adrian is looking everywhere for you."

I nodded and whispered, "Yeah. We had a fight but Jill made sure I didn't take it too hard. And Adrian was just there in the wrong moment so he... I don't know, Eddie. He made me angry. I just don't want to talk to him right now. He stood on Zoe's side, but he had to. Jill explained everything. It's just so... complicated." Eddie nodded. And thank God for that. He always understood everything.

"You know I'm here if you need anything. Talking, murdering someone, teaching someone a lesson...", he said and grinned. I shook my head.

"No, no, Jill thinks that the best punishment for him is to look for me around the campus and get lost. We'll probably end up looking for him. And Zoe..."

Eddie tilted his head slightly. Zoe was just coming out of our room, smiling, and when she saw me she immediately put on her serious mask.

"So you finally decided to show up and pack your things", she said venomous.

Eddie's eyes flashed with anger. "Last I remember, you didn't pack anything either."

Zoe put her hands on her hips. "Last I remember, I didn't ask you anything, dhampir." She said the word _dhampir_ as if it was a disgusting word.

Eddie started to say something that would initiate another fight, and I seriously wouldn't be able to handle it, so I gently touched Eddie's arm and shook my head. He immediately stopped, but was still tense.

"Now you even touch them", Zoe said, looking at me with daggers in her eyes. "Maybe dad wasn't wrong after all."

Ouch.

Before I could get my thoughts together again, she stormed past me and left me looking at the hallway.

I think I would have just stood there, thinking about nothing, feeling nothing, if Eddie hadn't touched my arm gently.

"Are you okay?" He was watching me with concern. I couldn't lie anymore.

"No", I whispered.

"How can I help?", Eddie asked and that made me smile.

"You see, you already did. Don't worry about me. Zoe will cool down, we will patch this up, everything will be okay. Go guard Jill or something. I see that you already packed everything." Eddie nodded and looked at me one last time with that look that said, '_I'm here if you need me, Sydney_'. I nodded, smiled and watched as he left.

Then I entered my room, turned my back to the door, and slowly slipped down it until I was on the ground.

I put my head in my hands, trying to calm myself down. This was getting worse by the seconds. Just when I thought I handled, or solved anything, something bad occurred. I didn't even want to think about Abe and Angeline now. That would be too much.

And then, just when I thought I calmed down a little, a knock sounded on my door.

Who was it now? Alicia? The Alchemists? Vampire hunters? Moroi scientists? I could handle everything now. And I was wrong. I didn't handle what was waiting for me.


	9. Chapter 4, part two: Sydrian!

_**Author's note:** So, here comes an author's note saying that there WON'T be radio silence since I've (somehow) found a way to update from my phone. _

_But it'll look like nothing! And there won't be author's notes until I figure out how to put letters in italic! But it'll exist!_

_ I won't abandon you! Not when you review, read, support, not when it got steamy here! I can't leave you on a cliffhanger! But I love you, everyone! I love your reviews, I love your support, I love how kind you are and how awesome your stories are._

_What caught my eye were reviews from Sam (yay, you didn't abandon me!), rebelde09 (yay, you didn't abandon me too!), KeepCalmAndDream (yay, you are still there too!), Shivani94, HappyLol (thank you guys!) and the regular support - CherrySlushLover (who risks getting kicked out of school because of me :D), HopperIvashkinator (who finds time every day, even though she's very busy) and everyone who read the story regularly, follow and favorite it. I love you! All of you!_

_So here comes the chapter written at 2 AM in the morning. I will continue, and if there are creepy and confusing stuff, blame my phone. I know it is short, and it is pure fluff, but we fangirls deserved it! You've waited 8 chapters for this! So, here comes the real Sydrian! Yay! Finally! :D _

_I think I am more enthusiastic and excited about this than you._

_All the characters (of course) belong to the famous Richelle Mead. And Dimitri - you better win that contest on YA sisterhood!_

* * *

I opened the door, ready to face anything.

Well, 'anything' didn't include coffee. Two cups of it. It was from Spencer's, it was fresh and it immediately brightened my day. It smelled like heaven.

And in it I smelled Adrian too. No cigarettes. Just his cologne and... Him. Heaven.

"I know this will probably make things worse, but I can't deceive myself and say that your aura brightened because of me, and not because of the coffee."

Adrian looked tortured. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair was naturally messy, his face was pale, he was leaning against the hallway, opposite from my room dor, wearing a blue button-up shirt and those gorgeous black trousers, and he was still so handsome. He looked like an angel, and not like a vampire. He was an angel, and not just physically. He had a golden soul. And that soul was in pain because of me. I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd hurt him.

I sighed.

"Is there any way to delay this? I can't... I can't handle you now. I'm a mess. And Zoe will be here any second now, telling me I was going to jail for touching Eddie's arm without using holy water." I made a face and Adrian smiled, but it was a strained, sad smile.

He shook his head and looked into my eyes, piercing through my soul. "Can I come in?"

I just nodded and moved from the doorway. He slipped in and stood by the bed. I sat down.

"You've been crying", Adrian whispered.

I shrugged. "I guess I have. But it's nothing. I'm okay now." I didn't want to mention Jill, knowing she'd tell him everything about my breakdown - she just loved him too much.

Adrian leaned closer and touched my tear-stroked cheeks with his fingers. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of safety. I was safe with Adrian. He wouldn't let anyone hurt me. "You cried because of me", Adrian whispered, interrupting my thoughts.

"It's okay, Adrian, really. I had a lot on my mind and you were just the last drop..."

Adrian cut me off. "I know I have no right to ask, but will you ever, ever be able to forgive me? Punish me however you want. I prefer the hardest punishment. I deserve it." He kneeled beside me, honesty in his eyes. I fought the urge to smile. He seemed as old as Shakespeare sometimes.

"I won't punish you, Adrian", I said, laughing. "You weren't celebrating around either. And I forgive you, it's okay." I kneeled down beside him and took his hand in mine, nervously straightening his fingers.

"Really?", He asked in a high tone. "I'm getting away that easy?"

I shook my head. "You're not going anywhere.", I whispered into his ear.

And of course, then came the most interesting part - kissing. I was practically in Adrian's lap, straddling him on the ground, kissing him as if there was no tomorrow. And he responded as hungrily. He rolled us over until he was on top of me and I was underneath him, pinned to the ground by him. He was everywhere. And God, I loved that feeling.

Soon he moved onto my neck and it was hard for me to think, but I had to. "Did you help Eddie?"

I felt him smile against my pulse-line. "These hands don't do manual labor, Sage." I started to move away and he moved his hands on my cheeks, his nose on my nose, his lips a breath away. I think I would've dissolved if those too-green-to-be-real-eyes weren't watching me with passion. "But I'd do anything for you."

And that was it. Today was the day I snapped and shouted at my sister, got betrayed by Adrian, consoled by Jill and this was the day I lost myself. My thoughts dissolved. I went into Miss 'I'm a quick study'-mode. I didn't want to know anything except how Adrian felt, smelled and tasted. My hands were in his hair and he groaned. I smiled. He was as lost in me as I was in him. And that was wonderful, since this was a totally new territory for me.

I pulled him closer and we started kissing again. I didn't care about breathing anymore. I didn't care about Zoe or about Re-education or about how wrong this was or about what my mom would say or about anything. All I cared about was this man here, making me feel that nothing existed except us, on this floor.

But Adrian suddenly pulled away and my eyes flew open. He sighed. "We can either move this to the bed or stop. My brain tells me to stop, but my whole body is telling me that we don't even need a bed." He grinned and I laughed.

"Okay, then. Get off of me, vampire." Adrian laughed to and got up, pulling me to my legs with him. He straightened my clothes and grinned, but I decided to mock him further. "Oh my God, did you just try to bite me?", I said, mimicking Zoe's high-pitched voice.

Adrian put on his best Dracula-face and said, "Actually, Miss Sage, I did."

And we didn't have time to laugh because the door flew open and we sprang apart.

"Oh. My. God! Get away from her, you evil creature of the night!" Zoe ran into the room and, seeing my horrified expression, she ran to my side. Her whole body was shaking.

I looked at Adrian questioningly. What were we going to do? Act like this actually happened?

"I knew it!", Zoe was shouting. "I knew you'd try something like that!" And she started checking my neck for bite marks. I prayed to God she wouldn't find any hickeys. And I fought the urge to laugh. Just like a minute ago, this was ridiculous. The only difference was that this time someone in the room actually believed in this.

And Zoe was horrified. How could she be afraid of Adrian? How could anyone be afraid of him? His face screamed 'party boy', not 'Dracula'. Although he was pale, with reddish eyes... But it was still ridiculous.

"I can handle him, Zoe. I need to have a talk with him about our moving to Clarence's nevertheless, so please go. I don't want you in danger." Zoe shook her head.

"I will try to contain myself until we're done. I haven't eaten... For a while.", Adrian said in that low voice of his that made me want to take that bed-offer. But the real truth hit me - he really hadn't had blood for a while. I wasn't afraid, I was concerned. Instead of 'eating', he was looking around for me. That's why Jill said that's his punishment.

But Zoe was still unconvinced. "You see? He wants to be alone with you to try again!"

"Zoe", I said, looking at her significantly. "I appreciate the help, but if he wanted, he could kill us both. It's in his interest to having this conversation with me. So go." She looked at me for a second longer, and I saw love and concern in her eyes. But that was gone, replaced by anger.

"Of course. You want me out of the way. I'll go." She stormed out of the room and I sighed, slipping until I was on the floor again. I put my head in my hands.

"Why is she so hard?" I sighed again. Adrian was next to me within seconds, pulling me to his chest. As soon as I was locked in the embrace by his strong, familiar hands, I felt safe again.

And I started laughing like a crazy person, Adrian following a moment later.

"Did you see her face? She thought you were actually going to bite me!" Adrian nodded and we laughed for a while. I felt happy and safe and... Adrian felt like home. I wanted to be like this with him forever, suspended in time, not burdened by anything.

Adrian pulled away a little so that he could look me in the eyes. "Your aura is blinding me right now", he said, smiling. God, I loved that smile. He kept it for me. It was honest and real and beautiful.

"And now it's so purple that you look like a goddess. Yellow is the pure contrast of purple." He smirked. "What are you thinking about?" He raised an eyebrow. "Going to the textile museum with Hayden?"

I didn't even bother correcting him. "You", I whispered. "And how much I love you." Adrian's face totally changed when he heard this. His mask melted away and there he was - the real, vulnerable Adrian I loved. The Adrian I hurt so long ago. The Adrian who felt. The Adrian who loved me.

"You have no idea what I want to do to you right now", he said, his face dead serious.

I smiled. "I know." And I looked him in the eyes, that he'd know I was serious too, and whispered, "And if Zoe wasn't near, I'd let you."

And the vulnerable Adrian became the alpha Adrian. One moment he is looking at me, melting me with those honest eyes, and the next I know, I'm pinned to the wall, my legs wrapped around his waist, Adrian kissing me passionately.

Thanks to God, at least we're fine. We can take anything if we're together. And we are.

"Completely, madly, in love with you", I said as Adrian straightened my clothes.

"And I've just started", Adrian said, grinning.

"So, Lord Ivashkov, will you escort me to my new living place?"

"Of course, Miss Sage. I would love to see where your room is so that I can sneak in it in the middle of the night.", he said, winking.

"Could you wait until I kick Zoe out?", I said with a raised eyebrow.

"No", he said and we both laughed.

God, I fell for him. Hard.


	10. Unfortunately, just an author's note

_**Author's note: **And, the last author's note until I get my computer back (and it will hopefully be in August).  
_

_Thank you, everyone, for your past, present and future reviews. Thank you for your follows and for your favoring of the story. Thank you for all your kind words and for your support. I will just shortly mention TheHappyLol and the wonderful review written by this user. Thank you. Really. You all have no idea how much this means to me and how much I love you all._

_So continue doing your jobs (except of just reading)! Even though I'm on my phone, I can still read and answer by PM on your reviews. I just won't expose you like this, but prepare yourselves for a whole chapter named "Author's note: List of people I adore" some time in August._

_So, this means I won't write any more Author's notes. Prepare yourselves for phone chapters which (I hope) will look like something. They will have grammatical errors (since I learned British English and there are several strange words in it). Those chapters will also probably have paragraph problems, but I hope you'll be able to cope with them (if there are any)._

_For all the future chapters: All the characters belong to Richelle Mead, a beautiful, extremely talented writer that made my life better since my definition of vampires was a mix of movies Blade and Twilight. _

_Officially, the next chapter will be posted from my phone._

_May God help me in writing and posting, and all of us in reading._


	11. Chapter 4, part three: Having a father

"God, I love this car," I groaned, distracted by the roaring of Ivashkinator's engine. "And I love it's name."

Adrian laughed. "Oh, I know. If I hadn't bought this Mustang, you wouldn't have fell in love with me." Adrian looked at me and grinned. Then he leaned over the console and kissed me. I immediately pulled back, horrified by this.

"If you don't remember, you're driving! If you crash my baby..." I stopped mid-sentence, suddenly remembering something.

"I am going to sneak out when Zoe falls asleep." I said it fiercely, surprising myself with the certainity of my voice. Adrian looked at me, confused.

"Why? I mean, I am so happy, but last time you sneaked out, we had to fight an evil witch." Adrian's face looked concerned and I giggled. I never giggled before I met Adrian. Now? Now I did it all the time.

I smiled. "Because I have a son and I miss him and I want to see him." Adrian smiled too, concern vanishing from his face.

"I'll make sure Hopper is ready." he nodded. Then he looked at me with raised eyebrows. "So, no need for spirit dreams tonight? I actually get to see you? Like, normally see you? Without being on a mission?" I nodded and smiled. I couldn't wait to see him too. Okay, maybe I was overreacthng a little since Adrian was still here, but anyway. This was going to be something extremely new for me - sneaking out in the middle of the night to see my boyfriend and our son. And people actually thought I was boring!

"Thank God, you are going to get your blood now. You look awfully... Handsome." I commented. And I spoke the truth - he looked too good, without even trying. Or maybe he did try, but still. Adrian smirked. This just boosted his self-confidence for, like, a thoushand percent. And that was a very bad thing.

"You worry about blood too much for an Alchemist," Adrian said, still smirking.

"Well, since I don't act like an Alchemist, maybe I'm not one?"

"How I wish that was true," Adrian said and shook his head.

When we got to Clarence's, Adrian immediately called Dorothy into the kitchen and Eddie told me we were all settled. He also said that Zoe and I had our own rooms and that Zoe was locked in hers right now. Angeline was "out", according to Jill, and I couldn't help but wonder if Trey had something to do with that. I met Clarence in the living room.

"My dear child, come here," he said, tapping the seat next to him. I didn't even hesitate and immediately sat next to him, but I couldn't help but wonder if I would have done the same a few months ago. I wouldn't, I knew. But then I thought that everything in their lives was somehow connected with blood. Ant then I thought that they were evil. This old man in front of me? He was maybe slightly crazy, but he wasn't evil. I wasn't afraid of him. On some confusing way, I grew fond for him.

"Of course, Clarence." I said and sat really close to him. I realised that in ways, he was more of a father to me than Jared Sage ever was or ever would be. Clarence's next words proved it once again.

"What is on your mind, my child? I can see that you are stressed out. Is there any way I can help?" of course, Jared sage would never ask something like this. He'd ask if I wrote my report, if I studied for my exams, if I cried because I was a disappointment. But ask about what I felt? Never.

"Did my dear boy, Adrian, do anything to make you sad?" Clarence continued and I froze. Oh my God. Did he know about us? Oh my God, oh my God.

Sensing me stiffen, Clarence softly said, "Did you two have a fight?"

I looked at him, sure that my face looked shocked. "How do you..." I started.

"Well, from the moment you two first entered this house, I knew" he interrupted. "The affection is quite obvious to someone like me, experienced and observing. But let's not wander off to another subject - I want to know what happened between you two." I sighed and put my head on his shoulder, leaning backwards. He hugged me with one arm and pulled me closer to him. I really felt like his daughter in that moment, and I was grateful. I had so many things on my mind.

"He left with my sister Zoe because she had suspicions about us. And before that my sister was quite harsh, saying very painful things, so I started crying. But we solved it and now we're fine. It's just... Ever since Zoe came, I can't help but think that God is trying to tell me something to me. I just don't know if the message is 'You were together for a day and now you should part before it gets complicated' or 'Having him will be hard, and you have to fight for him'. I wish it was the second one."

Clarence was silent the whole time. "Would you die for him?" he asked, but still seemed deep in thought.

I didn't hesitate. I knew that, if I could choose to die instead of Adrian, I would choose death. I couldn't live without him. And it wasn't a cheesy romantic line. I was dead serious. If I could prevent anything bad that could happen to Adrian, I would. I'd gladly fight Spirit and lose sanity, if I knew he would be okay. I'd do anything for him and for those I loved. "Of course."

Clarence nodded, obviously pleased with my answer. "Then you don't have to worry. Everything will be okay," he said and hugged me so that my head was in his chest. I hugged him back and he kissed the top of my head. I felt safe, but not Adrian-safe. This was a different kind of affection (I mean, I wasn't in love with Clarence), and I couldn't help but feel like a daughter to this man, that wasn't even human.

"Remember, you are my child,"Clarence said, unavare that he was voicing my thoughts.

"I feel like your daughter," I whispered. "Thank you, Clarence. " My voice broke and I realised I was crying again. God, what was wrong with me?

"Now go. Fight for your love. I'll be here whenever you need me." He kissed my forehead and let me go.

I stood up and... Faced Adrian. He stood in the doorway, smiling, and he looked much better and I was relieved that Dorothy was in the house.

I smiled, showing him that I was okay, and he took my hand, pulling me into the kitchen with him.

When we entered, he turned around and pulled me into an embrace. I realised I was crying again.

"We are going to have a talk about this tonight," Adrian said and I nodded. He pulled his fingers through my hair and just the simpleness of the gesture made me feel better. I sighed.

"And I mean it. We are going to have a long talk and you are going to cry and tell me everything. But now I need you to be strong, go and work things with Zoe out, get another room and survive until evening. Okay?" he pulled away to look me in the eyes. I nodded and tried to be strong. He believed in me. He loved me. My own father didn't, and a vampire did.

I could do this. I nodded again. I didn't trust myself enough to try to speak. Adrian was watching me with those green eyes, and in them I saw love, concern, want, trust, anger... He felt everything for me. It was totally unreal to have anyone care about me, let alone a vampire. And he loved me with all he had, I didn't even try to deny it.

So with my head in his hands, close to him, sensing and smelling him, I started to compose myself and get ready for Zoe. And I felt strong enough within a minute.

"Okay. I'm ready." Adrian nodded and let me go, but not before a soft, but fierce kiss. I needed him. But the Alchemists wouldn't understand that. Nobody would.

I shot Adrian a last lingering look. He was smirking. "Go get them, tiger." I laughed at that. He could change my mood within seconds.

I opened the door to leave, but Eddie was obviously just entering. He looked back and forth between me and Adrian and finally raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on anything.

Clarence was gone from the living room, so I was alone. I took several deep breaths and ran up the stairs, determined to end this as soon as I could.

I tried to open the door, but they were locked. I rolled my eyes.

"It's Sydney," I said calmly.

A moment later the door opened. Zoe's hair was in a bun, she was wearing a red shirt with a "I Heart New York" signt and black shorts.

Huh. No Alchemist outfit today.

I didn't even enter. I stood in the doorway and quickly said, "I will be staying in a separate room. I'll give you a chance. I want you to get used to them." Zoe nodded and smiled.

"That means we're good? I mean, I'm still angry because you wanted all the glory for yourself, but you're still my sister. I suppose I can forgive you." I just hugged her after that, not saying anything. I felt like a very big stone was lifted from my shoulders.

I waited for an hour. Most of the time I unpacked, not wanting to think about the conversation with Adrian that was waiting for me. He wanted to take the skeletons out of my closet. I wanted it too, but I never had the courage or the strenght. I wanted to tell him about Keith too, but he would be disgusted. He'd never think the same about me. And I wasn't sure if I would be able to live like that.

I couldn't sneak out the front door because Eddie insisted to sleep in the living room. He'd ask questions. The only other way out was... Climbing down a tree, and when I realised that I was wearing a skirt, it was too late.

I was halfway down when I heard voices and I immediately used the invisibility spell.

The voices were coming from Zoe's room.

"So she's not mad anymore? She trusts you?" said a muffled musculine voice. It was Neil.

"I think so. And thank God, Neil. If I didn't have you, I'd go insane," Zoe said. Was I hallucinating or what? He was a dhampir! A dhampir I didn't even know!

"Don't worry. It'll all work out."

"I think she doesn't even love me. I mean, she always loved being an Alchemist, but scaring me off... She's focused only on her job. And I thought she'd be happy to see me!" She growled and then sighed.

"I think her motives are deeper," Neil said. "She loves you."

"I hope so, Neil. I really do."

Then they stopped talking and I heard muffled sounds. I prayed that he was just leaving, but I knew better. He was older than her, he wasn't human, she knew him for days and now she was doing something I didn't want to think about.

Maybe there was something similar to us Sage sisters after all.

I climbed down the tree and heard footsteps. Tehnically, I was still invisible but I still decided to hide behind the tree.

Angeline passed by, grinning.

"Not so fast, miss," I said. "I need to talk to you. Let's start with where you've been all day. Or should I ask Trey?" Angeline stopped and turned around, her face shocked and horrified. I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest.

She was going to stop this charade. I was going to make sure of it.


	12. Chapter 4, part four: Very Short!

For a second, Angeline looked like she was going to deny everything, but thankfully, her mask melted and her face showed not determenation, but despair.

"Please, don't tell Eddie. He is going to send me back home. And then I'll never see Trey again."

I threw my arms up. "Taking responsibility for your actions is progress, but those actions are still a problem, Angeline. He's human. And a warrior of light, at that." I intended to say more, but Angeline cut me off, anger flashing in her eyes.

"You are human too. And an Alchemist, at that." That surely threw me back.

"What does that have to do with..."

Angeline cut me off again. "And I am a dhampir, which means I'm half human. Which makes your relationship with Adrian ten times more scandalous! You are supposed to understand me, not talk about how wrong and unnatural this is!" I am sure my face looked totally horrified. How could Angeline know this? Was it that obvious? The best option was to come to an agreement whith her, but I chose to deny everything. So mature of me.

"Relationship? Understand you? Do you even hear yourself?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

Angeline raised an eyebrow. "Taking responsibility for your actions? Rings a bell? Oh, right, you said it a few seconds ago. Look, lI'm not stupid. Just by watching Jill I realised he was in love. It just took your decision to go away and then mysteriously re-appearing and coming out of a certain yellow Mustang at midnight the following day to realise he was in love with you, specifically."

She paused for a second, putting her hands on her hips. She was actually dressed decently, with an acceptable (not for me, but generally) neckline and all. Would she tell? Could she actually understand my relationship with Adrian? I knew she wasn't evil and that somewhere very, very deep down we loved each other. Maybe I could trust her after all.

But Angeline narrowed her eyes. "And where are you going, in the middle of the night?"

I sighed. "I hope you understand what consequences would your revealing of this informations initiate. I'm an Alchemist, and my kind doesn't tolerate things like this."

Angeline raised an eyebrow. "You know that Trey used to be a WOTL, right?"

Okay, now I didn't understand anything. Trey was what? "I'm sorry, what?" I asked, confused.

Angeline rolled her eyes. "Warrior of the light. And that means that they'd kill him if they knew about us. So don't worry." She smiled. "I personally have no problems with humans, dhampirs and Moroi mixed up all together. I come from the Keepers, for the God's sake! And I think that you are good for Adrian, and consequently Jill too."

I nodded, taken back by this. Angeline wasn't so bad, I realised. And she was a better friend, even though she was wild and didn't know how to turn caps lock off, than any human I knew. Except mom, maybe. It was horrible, looking from one side... But no matter what she was, I had her. And it was wonderful.

"So we're good?" Angeline asked, smiling.

I smiled back. "I guess we are," I said.

Angeline passed by me, and as she went into the house, I think I heard her say, "Say 'Hi' to Romeo for me!"

I just rolled my eyes.

Driving to Adrian's was... Long. I was so glad that I was going to see my baby. I was so excited to see my Adrian. I was taken back by Angeline's honesty, Zoe-Neil development was still something I couldn't comprehend and I was so scared. My palms were sweating. How would I be able to tell Adrian? Would he understand? Would he leave me? I drove and took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.

I stopped in front of the door of Adrian's apartment, not sure what was waiting for me. I stood there for what felt like hours and finally mustered up the courage to ring the bell.

Adrian was quick to open. He was wearing a towel. A towel. Only a towel. Which meant the upper half of him was naked. Totally exposed.

I blinked a few times and finally looked into his eyes. "I am totally shocked," I said calmly.

Adrian smirked. "Exactly what I expected. Come in."

When I came in, he put his palm in front of me and muttered, "Wait there, I'll be back in a second," and he disappeared in the hallway, still distracting me with his chest and back. God, he was hot. And handsome. And hot. The kind of hot that made me turn into alpha-mode.

But then I melted. Totally, completely melted away.

Hopper was watching me shyly, half-hidden behind a wall. He was wearing a... Tuxedo. And he was so cute that I wanted to scream.

"Hopper? Baby? My little dragon?" I whispered and sank to the floor. My son squeaked and started running towards me. He was so cute - running in a tuxedo. I laughed as he threw himself at me, squeaking.

"I know, baby. I missed you too," I whispered as I rubbed my cheek on him, holding him in my hands. I kissed his head and rocked him back and forth gently, singing softly. He fell asleep within seconds.

Maybe I wasn't such a bad mother after all.

"I love you," I whispered as I got up.

"Where's his bed?" I asked, looking at Adrian that was melting too. He was grinning, leaning against the doorway, his eyes reddish. I knew without a doubt that he was the best father in the whole world.

"He sleeps with me, usually. But I made him a bed for tonight."

'The bed' turned out to be a box with a blanket and a pillow. I tucked Hopper in. He looked so peaceful. He looked... Happy. We all looked. I couldn't help but think about Adrian and us being a family and how real, beautiful it'd be. If only I wasn't an Alchemist.

But I was. I sighed. "Angeline knows about us. She realised through Jill. But she doesn't judge. After all, she is used to these kinds of situations. So it went well." Adrian first seemed surprised, but then he nodded.

"Okay. Now," and he took my hand and pulled me towards him, "Good evening, my beautiful girlfriend." And he kissed me softly, making my skin shiver and my head spin.

"Good evening," I whispered through his lips.

Then I remembered why I was really here.

"We have to have that talk," I whispered.

Adrian nodded. "Okay. Let's get comfortable first." Thanks to God, he dressed while I took care of my son. Then he took me to bed, we both lied down and he hugged me with one arm, holding me.

"I'll answer all your questions. About everything." I shivered again. How in the world was I supposed to do this? To tell him anything.

"Start from the beginning," Adrian said and kissed my forehead.

I gulped, took a deep breath, summoning all my courage. I could do this. I closed my eyes and stopped thinking. "It all started.."

I prayed silently. Don't freak out, I thought. Don't freak out.


	13. Chapter 4, part five: The Cutest Chapter

_**Author's note: **Finally got the computer long enough to write an author's note!_

_First, I need to apologize to everyone for waiting, gramatical mistakes, etc. I read all reviews - they make me smile! And I answer them via PM. I will continue to do so. _

_Thank you, everyone. I just couldn't resist but just quickly mention everyone who reviewed (and don't worry, I'll make that list as soon as I have my computer back): _

_HopperIvashkinator, _

_CherrySlushLover, _

_KeepCalmAndDream, _

_Sam, _

_fireworks1820, _

_TheHapyLol, _

_Lilietje99, _

_rebelde09, _

_Lucy, _

_Totalbooknerd13, _

_NerdAndProud77, _

_KyKat, _

_MissMegatronIvashkov, _

_Rose _

_and Alexandrabelikov. _

_Guys, I love you. You totally make my day. Your reviews made me write at 2 AM in the night. I don't want to disappoint you. I'm working hard and I am so tired, but I'll continue because of you. I couldn't live with myself if I just left now, when I know I can write. It's hard, but yeah. Life's not fair. Your kind words and all your support makes me love myself and think that I'm actually awesome. But I'm not - you are. You didn't leave me or my story, you just keep telling me to continue and you keep having so funny reactions... I laugh all the time. Thank you all so much. _

_Now, 10 hours ago, at 2 AM, I was planning on writing a whole chapter about Sydney and Adrian and do all that fluff. But when I finished Angeline, I just fell asleep. So I decided not to disappoint you and to put what I've written. But hey - now comes the fluff, so put yourself into fangirl mode! I'm writing, but I'm still fangirling and screaming inside!_

_And I love Hopper. He is so cute. Like, ultra cute. The lullaby Sydney and Adrian sing to him is a beautiful song that means the world to me. It could be some other, but it kind of looked appropriate for this occasion. It's named Angel's Lullaby and is sang by Richard Marx, a wonderful singer I love to listen to. And the real quote seemed appropriate too, so I couldn't resist putting it here! It's in bold._

_So this author's note should get you by the days before I sneak out and find a computer somewhere. But now comes the chapter._

_Of course, all the characters belong to the unique Richelle Mead. And the real TFH? A real chapter? Am I dreaming?! I can't wait! :D_

* * *

"It all started when I was just a few years old," I started slowly, my voice shaking. Adrian was silent, and his steady breathing made me calmer. I needed that. So I took a deep breath and decided to just get it all out, without thinking or anything. If I started thinking, I'd start crying. I wanted to avoid that. Adrian would think I was weak - he said it himself that I was going to cry. But if I couldn't in fornt of him, I couldn't in front of anyone.

"There was this fight between my sister Carly and Jared." I looked at Adrian and he nodded, understanding that _Jared _meant _the man I should call my father, but I can't bring myself to do that anymore_.

"I always knew that he was like some undercover agent or something, and I thought it was awesome. But I never actually wanted to become a secret agent like him. When I was little, I dreamed about becoming a mechanic, like my mom. But soon I realised that _anything _I wished for would be taken away from me." I stopped for a second, trying to calm myself. My voice was already thick and high-pitched, and I just began.

"So, there was this fight between them. Carly was turning ten and Jared wanted her to become that agent he was. But she said no, and mom came to her protection. I remember how intrigued I felt when mom said, 'Jared, she won't become an Alchemist like you!' But of course, somebody had to. Somebody had to carry out his last name." Adrian started running his fingers through my hair, calming me once more. I sank into his chest.

"So Carly wasn't trained because she didn't want to be, and Jared decided that I was a better choice than Zoe that was still in a crib. And then I met..." I took a deep breath. "Then I met Keith", I whispered. Saying his name made me angry and his face when he was in Re-education, the face that seemed to see me, no matter that I was behind a one-way mirror, it made me satisfied. He deserved what happened to him.

"Jared was always jealous of Keith's father. I mean, he had a son. He'd become an Alchemist and he'd marry another Alchemist and they'd have children and they'd have his surname. But I? I was, like, his ultimate failure. And my only fault was that I existed. I was a girl. My children wouldn't be Sage, they'd be named differently. And he blamed it on me. All his frustrations... He cured them on me."

I stopped for a second, summoning the courage to say the next words. "He took everything from me. At first, like every child does, I told him my dreams - that I loved cars, that I was fascinated by architecture, that I wanted to go to college. And you know what he did? He immediately stopped teaching me about those things. I had to hide my books from him - the books I found in libraries or that mom gave me as gifts. And he'd ask of me to know the opposite things - the periodic table, how much is the ideal air pressure, how many wood there is in Africa, things like that. But it was okay - he didn't want of me to go chasing those dreams. He wanted me controlled. But what angers me, what hurts me, what kills me is..." I stopped, feeling tears coming. I didn't want them to spill, so I just tried to breathe. I couldn't control myself, I knew. If I said one more sentence, I wouldn't be able to keep it in anymore.

Realising I wasn't going to say anything, Adrian carefully, softly asked, "What? Tell me, Sydney."

And that did it for me. It was that, when he said my name like that, like a silent prayer, all my defences faded, melted away. So I let the tears begin.

"He considered Keith his son. If he had to learn the periodic table by heart, I had to learn that and all relative masses. If he could choose who'd go to field practice, he'd choose him. And if we both failed, he'd blame only me. He went to fishing with him. He told him about the Alchemist secrets and about his experience. He went everywhere with him. If he could have traded me, he would. He loved Keith. And he didn't..." I tried to continue, but I found that I couldn't. "He didn't..." And then I broke. I started sobbing and I put my head in my hands and Adrian immediately turned me around to face him and I didn't want to think about anything. But the tears wouldn't stop.

Few minutes later, tears still spilling, I decided to continue, knowing I wouldn't stop any time soon. I pulled away from Adrian and faced him. He wasn't disgusted. He looked... Angry, but his expression was soft. I realised that I'd never seen that protective look before - and it was for me.

"But that is just the beginning," I said, my voice thick and muffled and shaky. Adrian started to say something, but I cut him off and shook my head. "I have to continue. If I don't do it now, I'll just cry and not say anything and you won't know anything," I said. Adrian nodded, but pulled me close. I was distracted by him now, so the tears stopped.

I drew in a breath. "And then he told me about the Moroi and Strigoi. He told me how unnatural they were and how afraid I should be - they had the ability to alter my mind, to wield magic like it's natural, they feed on humans and all they care about is blood. He told me that dhampirs and how they were even worse - made in the times when there was no order, when the vampires mixed up with humans, fed on them and then had children that were half-human, that were never supposed to exist. He told me that my mission is to keep this secret from humans, to protect everyone by cleaning up the mess Moroi and Strigoi make. I was so glad that I could make him proud. But he expected me to fail. So when I froze when I saw my very first Moroi, he was so victorious. I wasin punishment for weeks." I stopped, new tears coming. It was hard to believe that I couldn't see all of this. Adrian was watching me with those emerald eyes that wanted to take all the pain away. But there was so much more pain left in me. Pain buried deep inside, in places I never even tried to open. He just brushed my tears away and watched me as I struggled.

"I wanted him to be proud. All the time, I just wanted him to be proud. He wasn't proud when I got straight As in all my exams. He wasn't proud when I finished my first assignment faster and better than Keith. He wasn't proud when I gave up on all my dreams to do what he wanted me to do. And then comes the part you already know, even though I never let you even come close to it. The eating disorder thing." I closed my eyes, trying to at least make myself able to talk. I had to. I had to get it all out. Adrian would go away when I finished, but perhaps it was better this way. If he didn't know everything about me, I wasn't fair. And he needed to see that I had feelings inside and that I did everything with a reason. Yes, I couldn't get them out by painting or being romantic or writing poems, but I could tell him.

"He told me - If the Moroi can be skinny, why can't I? And I was devastated when he told me that. It was so good to be a child that didn't eat chocolate or bread or anything that tastes good, actually. And he loved to see me suffer, he loved to see me eat salad all the time and be hungry and cry and everything. But I did all of that for him. I said to myself the same thing - Why can't I be that skinny anymore? So I started hating my body. I started hating the hair that was unusual and attracted attention. I hated that I wasn't Keith. I hated that I needed more time to get ready and that Keith always won in that part of our training. I hated that I wasn't as strong as Keith. I hated that I cried when dad-" I stopped myself immediately and a sob escaped me. "When Jared got angry and jelled at me. I hated not being as skinny as Moroi. I hated myself. I did, but then I met you and you taught me not to do that. But it's so hard... Knowing he'll be more disappointed when he sees me." I took another breath. Now came the worst part - the part that'd make Adrian hate me.

"You're scared," Adrian whispered. "I mean, your aura is a tornado but it's obvious. You're shaking." I was shaking, but I was safe in his embrace. At least, I would be for another couple moments. Another sob escaped me and I started crying again, but I continued.

"He sent me to Russia because it was the coldest, the most monotone place that would kill everything I dreamed of. I wanted sun, I wanted Greece or Italy, but he sent Keith there. Of course. And I was sent to St. Petersbourg." I gulped, breathing hard now. "There I met Abe. And Abe did something for me... Something I wanted really badly."

I looked at Adrian. His expression was still soft, even though I saw interest in his eyes.

"Okay. Here it comes. Abe... Abe did that to Keith. He faked a Striogi attack and he took one of his eyes out." Adrian didn't let me go, but his face changed. It wasn't disgust, it was confusion.

"There has to be an ulterior motive here." I nodded.

"Keith... He..." I frowned, trying to get it out. I hated this I-can't-speak-thing. I was the speaker, usually. "He raped Carly, Adrian." I closed my eyes and then I knew I couldn't continue for a while. He was there, taking me in an embrace, lying down with me, hugging me tightly, whispering soothing things like, 'It'll be okay, it's not your fault' in my ear, making me shiver and tremble and making me fall apart while keeping me together. I just cried, breathing him in, thinking about that scum of a man that did this to my sister. He deserved what Abe did to him, I knew. He deserved it.

"Why the eye?" Adrian asked after a while. "Why not something else?" I laughed. This was a question only Adrian could ask and only he would remember something like this.

"Jared wanted Carly to go out with him. She didn't want to, but she had to. And when they went out, he said that she was beautiful and that he couldn't keep her eyes off of her and he couldn't take 'No' for an answer. So I thought, if he couldn't keep his eyes off of her, if he didn't have an eye, he would be able to control himself."

Adrian nodded. "Continue."

"Carly came to me afterwards and I had to promise I wouldn't say to anyone. I just broke that promise, actually," I said and Adrian hugged me tighter.

"Your secret is safe with me." I nodded. I knew that. He'd never say this to anyone.

"I knew that, even if I said it to Jared, he would say that Carly lied. He would never believe her. So I lived, knowing Keith did that to her. Abe was just an opportunity." I took a deep breath. "After that, I met Rose. I was seriously scared of her, but I became comfortable after a while. The Alchemists taught me so many wrong things - they taught me that you didn't have emotions or anything. Only want for blood. But Rose... She was on a hunt for the man she _loved_. I couldn't understand love at all, and not just that crazy love that made you hunt someone. But realising she had no ulterior motives, that she was just a girl like I was, a girl that felt... I started changing. Rose changed me. I became comfortable with dhampirs, but Moroi? No, thank you." I laughed and rolled my eyes, knowing how truthful this was.

"And that's nothing. When I saw Rose and Dimitri... Perfectly synchronised, like a cat and a lion, always together, both dead serious and both deadly, I realised that love exists. I just never experienced it. And love - I didn't see it in my family, I didn't see it among humans - I saw it among _you_. But the golden lily on my cheek, it made me loyal. I still have doubts sometimes." Seeing Adrian's shocked expression, I laughed. "No, not about that. About who is more human - we or you."

"And Abe constantly asked me to watch her. I didn't understand why, but later I figured out about the father-daughter thing. And doing a favour for him got me in serious problems. That day, when we were caught at Jill's house... It was serious. I thought I was going to go to Re-education."

Adrian immediately raised an eyebrow. "That sounds exciting," he said. "You study there or what?"

I laughed and shook my head. "No. It's the place where they take the people that got close to vampires or worse, dhampirs. I don't know what they do there, but I saw a person that came back - empty look. He's a shell of the person he once was. And I saw Keith - he was hysteric."

"Whoa, whoa. Wait a second? You saw Keith? When?"

"When Sonya and Dimitri came and you told me I was at Alchemist-spa." I laughed and rolled my eyes.

Adrian furrowed his eyebrows, seeming to think hard. "Yeah, I think that's when I wanted to go search for you or something. I missed you that badly," he said and I hugged him tighter.

"And Jared.. He, he was so glad that I failed. He wanted me to go to Re-education. He wanted to never see me anymore. He wanted Keith. I'm not that surprised anymore. They're actually very similar." Could Keith be Jared's son? No. He was evil, but he'd never cheat on mom. I decided to think about it later.

"And Keith wanted Zoe for Palm Springs mission. You could imagine how I felt. I wanted to protect her, so I blamed everything on ambition and they understood. And then I said that Zoe wasn't experienced and that I would be better for the mission, _protecting her_, and she got mad. And Keith... He wanted to blow up. He knew I knew and he hated me. He wanted me out. He called Jared and they were going to send me to Re-education, but we got him. So they sent him instead." I smiled and hugged Adrian. He smiled too.

"Yeah, we're the best team ever," Adrian said. He was happy. He wasn't disgusted. He didn't say anything bad, actually. He didn't hate me. I was shocked, so I decided to say something else.

"And you know what I'm still afraid of? That if he knew about me wielding magic, he'd relinquish me. He'd write me off as the very bad thing we're taught to hate. And that's okay. But knowing he's right... It's killing me." I whispered my next words. "I've said everything, Adrian. There's nothing more."

We were lying in the bed, Adrian looking at me, I on the verge of crying. We were looking at each other for another moment, and as I started crying, he pulled me to him and started kissing me. Everywhere. First my cheeks, then my eyes, my forehead, my ears, my temples, my neck, my lips, me. And I was so relieved, to still have him, even though he didn't say anything.

Crying and kissing, ice and fire, a vampire and a human, a Moroi and an Alchemist, Adrian and me. He loved me, I loved him, and nothing else mattered.

We both soon realised that this was turning into more than just kissing softly, so Adrian decided to pull back. I didn't even care anymore. If he wanted me, he could have me. I didn't have strenght to think about the consequences or to be afraid, or anything. I was just fire now.

"My flame in the dark," he whispered. "I can't take advantage of you. Not when you're all vulnerable, crying and being a beautiful, purple tornado. I can't." I opened my eyes and looked into those green, green eyes of his. In them I saw love, lust, want, passion, but I also saw honesty. Honesty and concern. He loved me. I wasn't just a conquest for him. He didn't want to rush this.

"Okay." I whispered.

And then the kissing began again, and my hands were suddenly in his hair, Adrian groaning, I smiling against his mouth. Then him, kissing my neck, making me shiver. Then me, closing my eyes, moaning and gasping happily. Was I crying a minute ago? Was I supposed to be somewhere? It didn't matter. My brain shut down.

And what stopped Adrian from breking the oath he just gave me was squeaking.

We sprang apart, shocked by the sound.

And there Hopper was, still in that tuxedo, picking on it with his little claws.

I sat up, laughing.

Adrian laughed too, but he didn't sit up - he put his hands behind his head and said, "Go on, mom. It's your turn."

I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. Before he could shoot back, I ran to Hopper, giggling.

Hopper was grinning too.

"You little dragon, I am going to tear that thing your father made right now!" And I sprang my arms at him, trying to grab him, but Hopper was horrified and ran away.

I was still giggling madly.

I jumped and caught him, barely. That little dragon of mine was breathing hard and he was trapped between my hands.

"Gotcha," I said grinning, also breathing hard.

And then I started tickling him. I put that thing that was supposed to be a tuxedo off of him and rubbed his belly.

He squeaked like crazy, giggling, and looked at Adrian, who was watching us from the bed with a very happy and a very satisfied expression. And I felt like that too, I realised.

"I'm coming, buddy, before your mom kills you," he said, also grinning.

I realised what he just said, and I started running. Hopper was on the ground on his back, not able to get up, giggling. Okay, so he wasn't a anger. But Adrian was a vampire, which meant he was unnaturaly tall and fast, and I was on the ground within seconds, pressed up underneath him, giggling like a crazy person since he was tickling me.

"I am going to die," I breathed, laughing.

"Oh yeah? Now you know how Hopper felt! Should we let mom go, Hopper?"

Hopper finally got up and came to us, grinning. He looked at us with big eyes and ran to me.

I glanced at Adrian. He was so happy, kneeling beside me. I was sprawled on the floor. His hands were still on my stomach, and I pulled his arms to me.

We started kissing again. There was no avoiding it, and to be honest, I liked it. I liked getting lost in Adrian, I liked how he got lost in me too. Soon I was pressed up by his weight again, and I moaned.

Adrian chuckled. "Come on. Hopper is waiting."

Okay, I totally lost myself since I forgot about Hopper for a second... or two. He was lying on the bed, watching us with his big eyes that kind of looked like mine, grinning.

Adrian caught my hand and interwined our fingers. I glanced at him and smiled. He was smiling too.

My crying episode seemed like ages ago. I was totally, completely happy with him now. With him and Hopper. We were a family. And I loved hearing that word.

We all got in bed. Adrian and I were lying on our backs, his arm over my shoulders. Hopper was between us and we were soothing him into sleep. We both sang at the same time, and it was a beautiful song we both know.

"I was never alive, until the day I was blessed with you," Adrian sang softly. God, he had a good voice.

"When I hold you late in night, I know what I was put here to do," I also sang, a little embarrased by my voice quality. He did this so much better than I did. He tightened his embrace.

We both rocked him gently and rubbed his body, gently. He was already closing his eyes, sighing happily.

"I turn off the world, and listen to you sigh," Adrian sang. He grew totally lost in his singing. I loved seeing that one more side of him. And it was a very personal and a very private one.

"Then I would sing my angel's lullaby." I sang in a near-whisper. I was afraid that Hopper would wake up, so I didn't want to scare him.

"Know I'm forever near, the one you can always call," Adrian continued, looking at me and touching my cheek with his nose. I smiled.

"Right now all you know to fear are the shadows on your wall," I sang, looking at his eyes.

"I'm here, close enough to kiss the tears you cry," Adrian sang and kissed my cheeks.

"Then I will sing my angel's lullaby." I whispered and we started kissing again. I mean, Hopper was asleep and our mission was done, so we could have a little cuddling time. But it was so awkward, since we were holding Hopper with our arms and soon we stopped, smiling again.

"I would love to have a dhampir like this," Adrian whispered as we watched our son's steady breathing. He wasn't really our son, but we loved him nonetheless.

I froze when I heard his words. Did he want to...?

**"Relax, having kids is years away. But can you imagine? Your brains, my charm. Our collective good looks... then add in the usual physical abilities dhampirs gets. It's really not even fair to everyone else."** We both laughed at this.

"If it means something, I'd love to have a dhampir one day too," I said. Adrian's face lightened up and his expression changed. It was like I just lifted a huge burden off his shoulders.

"You wouldn't care that it would be... a dhampir?", Adrian whispered, watching me with those vulnerable eyes.

"Of course not!" I said immediately. Then I chuckled. "I'm not scared of having children with a vampire, Adrian. I'm scared of having children _now_ and I'm scared of having children in _these circumstances_. But I'd want to have them only with you."

And we kissed again, his embrace tighter on me than ever, his lips fierce on mine.

He pulled away too soon, looking at me. "I never thought anyone would want kids with me, Sage. With a party boy that's never serious. And you don't even have a problem with me being a vampire. I love you. I just do." He shook his head and we both laughed.

"And I want you to know that I didn't comment on your talk about Jared and Keith... because I would have lost it and I would have become angry and I can't say anything about it now. I can just say that you are amazing and that I'm so glad that I found you before they destroyed you. And I will protect you in the future. They won't even touch you, physically or mentally, ever again. I don't care what it takes." He paused for a second, taking a deep breath. "And if I see either one of them, I'll..." He paused and shook his head and kissed the top of my head.

I just hugged him.

And I was happy in that moment, completely happy and calm and safe. Hopper in my arms, I in Adrian's, Adrian rocking me and singing that same lullaby to me.

As I dosed off, I whispered, "I love you, Adrian. I am so happy right now."

He chuckled. "I love you too. And I am blinded by your aura. I don't even need the sun anymore."

With Hopper in my arms, I turned around and Adrian hugged me tightly. I kissed his chest and let myself fall away, knowing Adrian wouldn't let anything bad happen to me.


	14. Chapter 4, part six: Hopper's Girlfriend

_**Author's note: **So basically, this doesn't exist but I just couldn't handle the temptation. So, here comes one more chapter from Sydney's POV! And it is actually quite cute._

_I need to mention my devoted readers too, thank you for not abandoning me! (Of course, the usual avanguard - HopperIvashkinator, KeepCalmAndDream, TheHappyLol, CherrySlushLover, Totalbooknerd13, jreads12, MilankaLovesMetal, sydney ivashkov and a new reader - rose!)_

_And... Who are we going to meet here? We are going to meet an original character made by TheHappyLol! She gave me a couple of wonderful ideas about Hopper and she just made him more adorable in my head. Aww. But you are going to see everything for yourselves! ;)_

_Laptop until tomorrow. so enjoy - two chapters in one day! Yay! I'm more excited than you are :D_

_And Richelle, the owner of these characters, you better publish that chapter of The Fiery Heart fast!_

_I love you all._

* * *

I slowly woke up from a very beautiful and a very peaceful sleep. I dreamed about Adrian. I dreamed about the two of us, having two little dhampirs, with Hopper on my shoulder, buying a house. We were so happy, I wasn't an Alchemist and we didn't care about anything.

Still unaware of where I was, I sighed. Enough dreaming for now. Adrian made me dream again - now I didn't dream about Re-education, thankfully. But I was afraid - God, what if I lost him? I'd lose myself, I knew.

Then I actually realised that I felt warm. Like, really warm. Hmm. Where was I? I couldn't remember, but actually it seemed quite obvious to the part of my brain that decided to shut down.

Where was I? I wouldn't feel warm if I was at the Re-education, right? But then again, I wasn't in my bed, or home.

And then I opened my eyes.

There was an arm near my left shoulder, in the crook of my neck.

Oh my God. Where was I? What was going on?

I tried to breathe, not daring to move.

Something smelled like Adrian.

Maybe his shirt, that I was wearing?

Wait, what? I was wearing _Adrian's shirt_? That emerald shirt that made me melt? What happened yesterday?

Was I in Adrian's bed?

Oh. Then I remembered everything and stopped panicking for a second. But then new questions unfolded.

Why was I wearing Adrian's shirt?

I turned and found myself looking at his face. I had to bit my lip to stop myself from screaming. He was _that _cute that I, Sydney Katherine Sage, wanted to squeal.

His hair was messy. Dark and messy. Naturally messy. It was so distracting. I had the urge to pull my fingers through it; Adrian loved so much when I did that.

His face looked... Beautiful. Like a statue carved from stone. He was pale, but I noticed some color in his cheeks - probably from all the warmth. It was like I had a winter's coat on myself. I laughed in my head, but no. I wasn't going to wake my Adrian up.

So I just pushed myself up on my elbows and watched him. Okay, his shirt was a little messy and pulled up and I could see his chest a little. But I wasn't going to look at that... Oh, who was I kidding. He was so, so incredibly handsome.

And I was wearing his shirt. That was, like, the mystery of the century.

And his bed was beautiful - the silk sheets I never even saw since I was so busy with my breakdown, the soft pillows and the windows with tinted glass that let only enough sunlight for Adrian not to burn himself or something, the room itself with those yellow walls... Was I the first girl to sleep in here with him? I wasn't so sure. He surely did...? Or didn't...? But he wasn't in love with me...? But he was still trying to move on from Rose...? Did Rose and he...? They surely did...? Okay, my thoughts were already a mix-up of jealousy and confusion, so I decided to just smile, close my eyes and snuggle up with him.

But I never managed to do that. I heard a squeal. It was a silent one, but I didn't miss it.

Oh no. Adrian, don't wake up. Where was that dragon? Don't wake up yet, Adrian. Sleep.

I was like a mad man, trying to catch something that was in the sheets and that I almost stepped on. And that something was my son.

As soon as I found Hopper, I got out of bed, silently-as silently as possible-closed the door of the bedroom. Hopper already started squealing, but I shushed him.

"Please, just wait for a few seconds more. Dad is still asleep."

Hopper nodded - did he just nod at me? - and ran to the main door. I quickly grabbed some pie, glanced at the clock that showed 6 AM on it and I got out. Baby Hopper first, business second.

When we got out, I immediately hugged my son and kissed the top of his head. "Sorry for almost killing you, baby. I forgot you were in the bed."

Hopper's tail started swinging and I took that as a good sign. That meant he was happy, right?

I took in my surroundings and decided to take a walk with Hopper. It wouldn't hurt. I put him on my shoulder, knowing no one would be here, but chanted the invisibility spell, just to be safe, and started walking.

Hopper was quite a pleasant company, really. Even though he couldn't talk, I could easily understand me - when he liked what I was talking about, he'd squeal or hit my cheek with his little tail. If he didn't like it, he'd start growling and making a face. He knew how to nod or shake with his head. I did most of the talking, but it was nice and funny to be with him.

Deciding to give Adrian some time, I sat down on the grass that had fresh dew on it, and I breathed in the scent of it. It was wonderful - everything in the world seemed wonderful in that moment, actually. I sighed happily and tickled Hopper again. But the temptation was too great -he was so cute, looking with those big eyes at the sky, sprawled on his back. This was his first actual time out, I realised. He spent all his life (until now) in a aquarium, in people's pockets or in houses.

After having a tickle fight in which I won and in which Hopper wasn't fair - he bit me and scratched me with his claws on my face, I told him that he had ten minutes to go explore the park, while I relaxed. Hopper nodded and went away.

I lied down, remembering how it felt to wake up next to Adrian, how my stomach felt when I saw him so happy and peaceful, how it brought smile to my face to realise I was with him, which meant I was safe. I sighed. It was beautiful - being in love. I knew that Adrian and I, and Hopper, could do anything together. And I was happy. I closed my eyes, listening to my heartbeat, still being able to smell Adrian on me, still wearing his shirt that had a stain from where Hopper was eating his pie. It would never wash since it was blueberry, I realised. But the shirt... It just became more valuable because of that. I just loved it more, knowing that every next time I saw it on Adrian, I'd remember this morning and his face and our son and everything.

But my daydreaming was interrupted by Hopper squealing.

He was running towards me with a horrified expression.

"What, baby? What is wrong? Does anything hurt?" I said as I sat up and took him in my arms, immediately worried.

But Hopper shook his head. He just squealed, pointing to the tree. But there was nothing there!

I got up, ready to charge at Strigoi or the Alchemists. I had a fireball ready.

But what was behind the tree... Was another callistanna dragon. Okay. I didn't summon him... it... Where did it come from?

Hopper was still hiding behind my collar, squealing slightly and softly.

I didn't let my guard down - if there was a callistanna here - and I was pretty sure it was, it meant a witch was nearby.

"Hopper, do you sense a witch nearby?" I whispered. Hopper shook his head.

The fireball from my hand disappeared.

So what did I do? I decided to see if this dragon was friendly. I sat down, Hopper still scared, and took a better look at the creature in front of me.

It was... Yellow, small and cute. It had white stripes on it's paws, ears, nose and tail. Everything about it screamed "girl", just like everything about Hopper screamed "boy" when Adrian and I first saw him.

So yeah, I decided to go with the friendly tactics.

"Hello there, little girl," I said softly. The widening of her unnatural pinkish eyes and the light swinging of her tail showed me that she was a girl and that she was friendly. Right?

"How did you get here?" I asked, also softly. Then she started squeaking and Hopper squeaked back. They looked like they were... talking, which was actually logical, since they belonged to the same kind. But how did that help me? I couldn't understand Hopper. At least not completely.

They both squeaked at me, but I couldn't understand them.

"She lost her owner?" I suggested. The squealing continued. "I'll take that as a 'No'," I said sarcastically.

"She... is an orphan or something?" I suggested once more. The squeaking was quieter, both they still kind of shook their heads.

Okay. Getting warmer. "Her owner dumped her?" And at last, they nodded.

"Who is her owner? Do I know him, or her, Hopper?" Hopper immediately nodded.

"Ms. Terwilliger?" I asked with a confused expression. Hopper shook his head.

The only other witch I knew was... "Alicia?" I whispered. Please, don't nod, Hopper.

But he did, and the unknown callistanna immediately retreated behind the tree.

"Are you afraid of her?" I asked softly. The callistanna girl nodded.

"Do you want to come with the two of us? We can protect you." Her face lightened up when she heard that and she frantically nodded, her tail swinging like mad.

But Hopper was still hiding inside of Adrian's shirt. He was shy. My baby was shy. He was scared of meeting a girl.

I was melting.

"Can you tell me your name somehow?" I asked the dragon-girl. She nodded and pointed to my cheek.

I didn't understand at first, but she started scratching her left cheek with her claw.

Left cheek. The tattoo.

"The golden lily? The lily?" I said, trying to figure it out. "Lily?"

She nodded.

"Okay, Lily. I want you to meet my son. His name is Hopper. Hopper, this is your friend Lily."

Hopper was trembling, but he listened to me and came out of the shirt when I rubbed his back.

He slowly walked until he was at a dragon's arm-distance from Lily.

He squeaked softly and she squeaked back.

I didn't like the fact that Lily was Alicia's callistanna at all, but I didn't see anything bad in her. Hopper could sense dark magic, and he didn't sense it in her. So she was okay.

A couple minutes later, I slowly opened the door of the apartment, realising I had to return to Clarence's soon.

But I couldn't in Adrian's shirt. That thing was still a mystery for me.

"Sydney," I heard Adrian's voice, thick with emotion. He ran to me and picked me up in the air, kissing my hair, my head, my cheeks.

"What did I do?" I said, throwing my arms up as he hugged me tightly.

"I thought you left," he said. "I thought you ran away. I woke up alone and I... I almost lost it, Sydney." He was earnest, his eyes showed it.

I shook my head. "No. I was just on a walk with Hopper. We met another callistanna there and it's a girl named Lily. And she used to be Alicia's, but she obviously tortured her. Poor creature."

"I am Adrian Ivashkov, my lady", Adrian said and tapped her head. He raised an eyebrow and smirked, seeing Hopper's protective expression and Lily hiding behind him. He chuckled. "He is, like what? A couple days old? And he already has a girlfriend. He's my son, I admit it," he said, smiling.

I smiled too. "He is. Handsome and romantic," I whispered.

And then Adrian kissed me. I could never get used to it - it seemed better with every moment. I put my hands in his hair - something I wanted to do since the moment I woke up, and he growled, pushing me forward until I was pressed up between him and the wall.

When he moved onto my neck, I said, "I'm trying to figure out how come I'm wearing your shirt the whole morning. And by the way, Hopper ate his pie on it and messed it up."

Adrian immediately pulled away. "What? But you love this shirt! I'll have to go shopping for hours to find the same color!"

I pulled him to me, and a moment before I kissed him, I whispered, "I love it even more now."

Adrian groaned and there he went, going alpha again. I mean, not that I minded. I could make out him anywhere, everywhere and at any time.

After a while, Adrian whispered, "So how was your experience of waking up next to me? Mine was wonderful - freaking out seeing that you were gone after waking up alone."

I laughed. "I am sorry. But you were so... adorable and peaceful and happy, and then I accidentally lied down on Hopper, and then he squealed and I took him for a walk so that he wouldn't wake you up. You are so... Beautiful. You have no idea what it does to me - knowing you're mine." Adrian smiled and kissed me softly.

"Next time, I wake up first," he said. "But you fell asleep first yesterday, so I guess we're even." I raised my eyebrows and pouted.

"I want to know about the shirt!" I cried. Adrian smirked.

"I had to change you out of your outfit," he whispered into my ear.

Seeing my expression, he kissed my ear and chuckled. "Don't worry, Sydney. I didn't see anything. But you fell asleep in a skirt. Who can be comfortable sleeping in that?" He frowned and I closed my eyes, calming myself.

"You are telling me that you stripped me and..." I tried to show him with my hands, not having words.

"Re-dressed you. In theory, yes. But I didn't strip you naked." He rolled his eyes and kissed the top of my head. "You know I'm not that kind of a guy, Sage. I could have had you naked many times - starting with that dream and your famous reference." Something passionate flashed in hi eyes and I blushed.

"But I can't go back in this!" I cried. Yeah, his shirt reached mid-thigh but if Zoe saw me in it, she would think that I... That. And I didn't.

Adrian chuckled. "You better get ready before they wake up, then," he said. "Your clothes are in the first drawer."

He kissed me hastily as I started running to the drawers, searching for my clothes.

I sighed.

If they caught me, I had no idea how I'd explain.

I kissed Hopper, Adrian and hugged Lily and walked out. Actually, I ran out. I glanced at the door and saw Adrian leaning against the doorway.

As I got into Latte, I got a message. It was from Adrian, of course.

"Your husband says 'Good luck at work' to his wife."

I smiled, and typed, 'Thanks, housewife', starting the engine.


	15. Chapter 5, part one: Bath Time, Devils!

_**Author's note: **So hey guys. I have laptop for another two hours, so I'll post whatever I write. Then we're back to phone updating._

_As always, I love all your reviews. And the reviewers - I know many of you and you are wonderful, great, supporting persons! So if you want to talk about me about the Bloodlines series, about this story, if you have any prompts of what you'd like to see in the story (I know that it's supposed to be similar to the real The Fiery Heart, but we can do some things that don't exist anyway :D) or if you just need someone to talk - I'm here! I really haven't met anyone that is not kind towards me, that doesn't like me or support me. You all love my story and I am totally, completely shocked. I don't have haters? They didn't take my story down yet? What? How? I'm not that good. So seriously, thank you all. This time I'll mention:_

_TheHappyLol (you are my popcorn girl! you always eat popcorn while eating! and that is so funny and cute!);_

_HopperIvashkinator (you keep me lucid and focused on my work! you are my number one supporter!);_

_MissMegatronIvashkov (you always write reviews! and I love how you have thousands of messages from me saying "thank you!");_

_KeepCalmAndDream (oh yeah, you keep me fangirling! and remembering that I'm actually supposed to write about The Fiery Heart! and you ship Hopper and Lily! so guys, we need a shipping name - I like Hoppy very much!);_

_CherrySlushLover (radio silence with you, but I still know that when you come back, you are going to kill me with your reviews! and I know you'll like all of this! I just miss you.);_

_Totalbooknerd13 (what I love with you is that we can have a conversation consisted of "thank you so much" and "no problem", and then "thank you for no problem", and then "no problem for having no problem", hahaha. It's so cool.);_

_Sam (I seriously want to get to know you! Make a profile and talk to me! I need to thank you for all those reviews that made me continue! I love you and your support!);_

_Bukwurm13 (oh, don't you dare worry about that. I seriously can't wait to have Christian back finally! so don't be sad when all I write about is how handsome he is. I just didn't come to those tweets yet, but I actually think they are in chapter 6, or something? so continue reading!)_

_and all the devoted readers that didn't find time or strength to review. I love all of you too and I know that when you're back, you are going to rock._

_So yeah, these characters unfortunately belong to the great Richelle Mead, except for Lily that belongs to Hopper and TheHappyLol. _

_Now, enough of empty talk - let's write._

* * *

And Sydney left. I sent her a message and got the answer in which I apparently became a housewife. So Sydney didn't think I was manly? I'd show her today when I came to Clarence's.

But then I took time to see what happened to my shirt and I immediately freaked out.

Oh my God. A big, purple stain on the left shoulder.

"Hopper, what did you do?" I asked, mocking anger.

Hopper ran to me and squeaked. He curled up in the shirt. I breathed in it's scent. It smelled like me, but it also smelled like Sydney.

I got up and looked at the shirt. The stain really ruined it.

But watching Hopper curled up in it, I realised I wasn't mad. And I realised I wanted to wear this shirt more than ever, all the time.

Yeah, Sydney was right. I loved this shirt. I started chuckling, then it turned out to be a laugh.

Hopper opened one eye, confused, but his tail was slightly swinging.

Lily just came into the room and curled beside Hopper. His tail immediately started swinging like crazy.

I really felt like a father of two children who was waiting for his wife to come back from work.

"Tickle time!" I said and immediately got to the floor, tickling them both. They had no chance against me.

At the beginning, they just tried to escape, but my arms were long so I caught them every time.

Then they looked at each other and went into offensive mode.

"Oh no," I said as they got me on my back and started tickling my stomach with their claws.

I laughed like crazy and finally managed to get them off me after a minute.

Then we all sat up and Lily started squealing. God, she was cute. Like a female Hopper. With pinkish eyes. He surely knew how to pick them.

I tapped them both on their heads and got up. "Okay, breakfast time," I exclaimed as I went into the kitchen.

Since Hopper was living with me, I had to buy many things that were eatable and I cooked for him. There was a major book on the counter about cooking, and I bought it so that my son can have a variety of breakfasts.

"Hmm. What should I cook today?" I asked.

But there was a note on the fridge. It was a woman's handwriting. I raised an eyebrow and read what was written.

"Bought a pie for kids, it's in the fridge. And a pizza for you is in the oven. Love you," I read.

So now I really felt like her husband. I got the pie out from the fridge and gave it to Hopper and Lily.

As soon as I put the pie on the table, they stopped seeing me and saw only the pie. It was hilarious - they couldn't agree on who ate which side so they constantly pushed each other and squeaked. Then Lily accidentally (even though I'm not sure about that) pushed Hopper hard so he fell into it. Then Lily started giggling.

I shook my head and let them do their thing. I went into the bedroom, not hungry, even though Sydney left the pizza for me.

Wow. She left pizza for me. Was I in a dream? The girl I was crazy about just spent the night over. We slept in the same bed, she woke up with me and she went on a walk with my son and came back with another child. Wow. I just didn't have the strength to think about Alicia now - I wanted to dream.

And man, I was in love. It made me really angry to remember what happened yesterday - everything that Sydney said. My heart bled when she saw her tremble, sob and cry. And that... that excuse of a man and a father was torturing her for years. And where was I? Getting wasted in clubs, partying, while her life was like hell! I was so angry. I knew she had issues and that the reason for those issues was her father, I realised when I saw her and Clarence and how brightly her aura shone while she was in his protective embrace. But this? Mental torturing throughout the years? I didn't even dream about something like this. I thought that she just wanted to be skinny and that she overdid it... But that, jerk, that, uh. I didn't want to swear and work myself up. That jerk told her so many lies about us and he was so jealous of her being successful... Yeah, like Sydney said, he really looked like Keith. And not just mentally - I think they even looked alike physically. Was it possible that... No. Oh, come on. But I could comprehend it - he had an affair with that scumbag Keith's mother, he was mad that he had a son but that he couldn't claim him, so he took his frustration out on Sydney. And that is disgusting.

I was so glad that I had Sydney now, that I could repair her, that I already started doing that. It hurt, seeing her in so much pain, but the first step was to just let her get it all out. And I shivered, remembering how beautiful her eyes were, how beautiful she was like that, vulnerable and honest. And how she looked at me, expecting to support her father and to be disgusted.

And when she told me about her devil's bargain... Wow. I knew she was fierce, but that fierce? That bad-ass? No. I didn't expect it. To have Abe cut one of his eyes out after he... After he raped her sister... It was like a nightmare. But I remembered that Sydney lived inside of that nightmare, and my anger increased. I knew this was Spirit, but I didn't care anymore.

And then I remembered that stupid sister of hers named Zoe that managed to ruin everything without even trying. She actually thought that Sydney did it because of fame? What the hell? Did she live with her? Obviously not, since even I wouldn't buy it when I first saw her.

And Sydney was fierce. She was loyal and she loved honestly and she was the most beautiful girl in the whole world. But she was also fragile, and vulnerable, and she had her guardian now. I wasn't a dhampir, but I could fight for her. In any way.

Then I remembered how natural it all looked - Sydney, being here, in this apartment, giggling and tickling me and Hopper. Sydney, falling asleep in my arms, her face tear-stroke, but her expression peaceful. I, watching my princess sleep, forcing myself to stay awake and watch her for another moment. I would never get that picture out of my head, I knew. And yes - I did change her clothes because I was selfish and because I wanted to see her in my shirt. It fit her perfectly. And I loved her.

I loved that golden hair that made me feel like I was out in the sunlight. I loved her eyes that could see what was in my soul without even trying, those eyes that believed in me. I loved her lips, so soft and so distracting, especially when she talked about boring things, making them interesting. Her eyelashes. Her tan. Her cheeks. Her eyebrows. Her whole body, that wasn't as skinny as it was before.

Her. My Sydney Sage. The girl that made me even happier than I thought was possible. The girl I had a son with, the girl that left food for us in the oven, the girl that could take down everything, the girl that loved me, that belonged to me.

I closed my eyes, my back on the sheets Sydney was wrapped in minutes ago. When I stood in the doorway, watching her leave, I realised that we were a family. And that I could never, ever love someone this way again. She was everything. She was the top of the scale. Hell, she even broke the scale. She was her own category - the nerd girl that was home schooled and that killed me every time she wore a skirt. And I could do this always with her - wake up to her smell, freak out when I realise she woke up before me, melt when I see her with my children in the doorway. I loved Sydney.

But of course, my children wouldn't let me go. They started squeaking and I shot up.

But when I stepped out of the bedroom, I fell.

"What the hell?" I asked. And then a bucket of water fell on me.

I was... horrified. And I had no idea what was going on.

But those two little devils were all dirty from that blueberry pie over their faces, and they were on the floor, giggling. Hopper threw a high-five to Lily and she laughed.

"Oh." I raised an eyebrow, getting up.

"It," I said slowly as I approached the two of them, "Is," and my huge shadow fell over them, "Bath," and they stopped giggling, "Time!" I shouted and grabbed them.

I went into the bathroom, quickly filled the bathtub, and started soaking them into the water and shampoo and everything. I laughed like crazy.

And I quickly turned my camera (what was it doing in the bathroom?) on, and it recorded what I've done to those two.

When Sydney saw this, she was going to report to child protection.

But she was going to die laughing first.


	16. Chapter 5, part two: 2 AM, so short!

And... I decided to leave the lovebirds locked in my apartment, hoping they wouldn't burn anything down. I sent the video to Sydney, but I didn't get an answer. I just hoped I wasn't going to get arrested because of molesting children by the dragons protection service.

So I left, heading towards Clarence's. I really wanted to know if Sydney had to do the walk of shame, if things went by fine, if we have a plan. I mean, Sydney sneaking out every night to see me was fantastic, but it wasn't fair. And it wasn't her style. She was always afraid someone would catch her. I chuckled. Yeah. My dream-girl was a shy blonde with an abusive father, able to speak at least five languages, that was human and an Alchemist at that. Damn, my criteria changed. A while ago, she had to be a skinnx, not-too-smart Moroi. Then I went for dhampirs, and now humans.

I got to Clarence's in no time. I loved the house and Clarence and Dorothy more, knowing Sydney was there with them.

I got in, finding the door unlocked. Eddie was in the living room, looking longingly at Jill. She was actually doing the same, but they just couldn't see it. Their auras were pink with affection. I shook my head and headed upstairs. They were hilarious sometimes.

And I was in for a shock - Neil was just coming out of... Zoe's room? That had to be like a torture to her. What was wrong with this house? We had a Moroi-dhampir pairing, Moroi-human pairing and now two dhampir-human pairings? That's weird. But I couldn't tell Sydney. She'd freak out.

I raised an eyebrow at him and he just put his guardian mask. But his aura radiated with fear, which meant he was hiding something. And that something had something to do with Zoe.

I started towards Clarence's room, but I turned around as soon as Neil was gone. I was going to investigate the Zoe-Neil business, but I needed a moment of peace with my Sage.

As I entered the room, my phone notified that I had a message.

Sydney turned around, surprised to see me. A moment later, surprise turned into concern. "Oh my God. Is everything okay? Why are you here?" she asked.

I shushed her. "Quiet," I whispered. "Zoe could hear us."

Sydney immediately put her hand over her mouth. I continued. "Everything's okay. It's feeding day and I wanted to see you," I whispered, grinning.

But Sydney bit her lip and I saw jealousy flash in her aura. Jealousy? What the hell? Was she jealous that this was feeding day?

"You're not here for Zoe, right?" she whispered softly.

"What? Of course not!" I answered in a low tone. "I'm here for you!"

But, Sydney was still jealous. "I am not another conquest? So now that you have me, you move on?"

I didn't know what to say. She actually thought that of me? That I had conquests, that I went away and got wasted with some Moroi girls, that I got over them and fell in love fast? Hell no!

Okay, maybe before I met her. But this was too much. I sent her videos of our family, and she asked me if she was a new conquest. Conquest!

I couldn't look at her anymore, so I just left. Adrian Ivashkov is a person who has an attitude and a pride. Sydney Sage could think she was a conquest all she wanted, but I wasn't going to try that.

I slammed the door and quickly went downstairs. Not even feeding would help.

And somehow, I knew my reaction was spirit-induced but I couldn't bring myself to care. Sydney hurt my pride. Now she had to cope with my craziness.

I expected Jailbait and her calming words, but Eddie came into the living room.

Yeah, just what I needed. "Not now, Castile, I'm not in the mood," I said. I was probably too harsh, but I couldn't bring myself to think about that either.

Eddie raised his hands. "Yeah, drama queen, good morning to you too," he said sarcastically.

I just turned and went into the kitchen. Where was Dorothy? And couldn't Eddie see what I felt.

I finally found Dorothy cleaning the counter. As I fed, I couldn't help but think about Sydney and her blood. What would it feel like? Would I be disgusted? How could anything about her be disgusting? Would she like it? And most of all, did she love that part of me too? Did she accept it? Because it wasn't easy, being born as a vampire. Learning to hide your fangs and feed, having to shield from the sun, seeing people's auras. Sometimes, when I was little, I wished I was human. I wished not to have such a complicated life. I would have met her somewhere even then, I knew. She was meant for me and I for her. Even though it seemed impossible.

I never actually understood the taboo. Wow, Moroi and humans. I got the part - unnatural and natural, having to hide, not being barbaric, bla bla bla. But if it somehow happened - like with us, people should be able to understand. Instead of being friendly, the Alchemist treated us like monsters - teaching that we're wrong, that we have no feelings, that we only want power and blood. But no, we weren't anything like that. We were people from the shadows. And Sage was lightning my way.

But we were currently mad at each other, so I decided to find Jailbait. She would help me cool off, I knew. She always did.

But I came to a halt in front of the living room's door. Moroi hearing certainly was something I didn't want to have taken away from me.

"Why do you protect him, Jillian? What has he done this time?" said Eddie in an angry voice.

"You are frustrating me, Eddison! He had a fight, okay? A fight with Sydney. And he is angry now which means I am too! Why do you have to know everything?" Jill said, almost screaming.

"Poor Sydney. He is going to get her into serious trouble! And that spirit darkness is putting you in danger too!" Oh. So this was about his love and concern for his love. Not about me or Sydney or anynne.

But his next words threw me back. "There's something going on between them," he said in a low voice. "If I didn't know Sydney, I think I would have actually considered it," Eddie said.

Jill sighed happily. "Thank you, Eddie. You are the best guardian," she whispered.

"And you are the most beautiful princess in the world," Eddie whispered back.

Then came the silence and I rolled my eyes.

I opened the door and said, "Would you two kiss already?"I smirked. It was a good on-the-spot line.

And the two of them were shocked - their hands tangled, their auras pink, Eddie's usual mask, Jailbait as beautiful as always. They were perfect for each other.

"I, I have to go." Jill said too loud.

Eddie was even more confused, if possible.

"I'll go with you," he said and I saw Jailbait smile he got up and followed her.

That little devil. Playing the spirit darkness-card.


	17. Chapter 5, part three: Doctor Adrian

So I left another pair of lovebirds to try doing their thing. I mean, it was obvious. Jill was dying inside, waiting for Eddie's glance. And Eddie was like a mini-Dimitri. Always hiding his emotions, always calm and composed. But he couldn't hide it from me - his aura radiated with love. And his eyes showed it whenever he looked at Jailbait. Yeah, he was a bit older, but it was nothing compared to Lee. And Eddie actually just let her be with him, silently watching her from the shadows, longing, lightening up when she glances at him, knowing she doesn't see him that way. But she did. And they were both afraid of being rejected.

I could understand Castille too much for my taste. I kind of feared for a while that I'd end up the same - I'd let Sydney live her life, be with other guys, but I'd always watch her, keep her safe, longing for a single look, single word, longing for her, waiting for her to notice me. It was awful, but it was better than losing her. And I'd rather be miserable and let her be happy than make us both miserable.

I sighed. How, and when have I changed so much? How did I become so mature, so composed, so observant? When did I start loving myself? It was when she came, I knew. Sydney saved me. She was so harsh and painful, but she was always honest and treated me like an equal. And all these years, I had that only with aunt Tatiana. God, I missed her. She would've loved Sydney. She would've seen all qualities I see in her. And she was the only person I'd actually care to present Sydney to. Mom, dad? No, thanks. They'd want of me to become some fancy Lord and find some fancy royal Moroi. Well, I hoped this would be the last drop and they would finally leave me alone.

But what was going on with Sydney? That thing she said seriously hurt. I knew the smart thing to do was to just leave. Spirit was making me crazy these days. And the darkness would have made me strike back, like it did long time ago when Jill was a model and it all turned into a Strigoi attack. Sydney left that day. This time, I was the one to leave. And it was the smart decision. I would've told something I didn't want to. I would've hurt her with my words and it would've become much, much worse. But seriously, being jealous about... What? What did I do? Telling me she was a conquest for me? She knew it very well that it wasn't true. She knew it very well that I'm not the Adrian I used to be. She knew that she changed me and that I would've let her go with Marcus and that it would've killed me. She knew how happy I was with her, Hopper, Lily and Jill here, now. She knew that I was madly in love with her. And she knew that if she was a conquest, it would've been over ages ago. I would've compelled her and used her like Keith did with her sister and God knows what else. I wouldn't have waited for her to realise that she loved me too. I wouldn't have been there for her all the time.

I punched the wall. Why did she do this to me? Make me feel like I was in my own personal heaven and then using the "You're Adrian" excuse. I wasn't that Adrian anymore. I was completely hers now. No other girl existed anymore.

I punched the wall again, but I couldn't bring myself to care about the crack starting to form in it. I loved her. And she just downgraded me to an elementary school-boy. A conquest? A conquest?! Damn, what a conquest she was. The ultimate one. I could've used her so badly, I could've gotten her sent to Re-education, I could've been the scandalous Adrian once more. I could've just thrown her away when I didn't need her anymore. I could've destroyed her life. But I didn't! Hell, I loved her. How couldn't she see that? I could've had her so many times already. But I said 'No'. Didn't she see that? If I wanted to use her, I had so many chances. But I didn't want to... To take her pureness. She was so perfect. I feared that I was the person that'd take all those perfect things from her. I feared that she'd let me. So I protected her from herself, and from myself.

Now spirit made me desparate. I sank to the floor, my back to the cold wall of the living room, my eyes closed, my head in my hands. What would I do if we didn't work this out? How would I live if she chose to leave me? She had all the reasons - I was the unpure vampire, the irresponsible party boy, the crazy guy, the immature 22-year-old man. I could understand that. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to live another second of my life without her.

And so I remembered what her father did to her. How could have I not been there for my flame in the dark? How could have I not seen that beautiful aura of hers and protected her from everyone who ever tried to make it grey? I surely saw that damn father of hers somewhere. Hell, I told her so long ago that she was a coward and that she never fought back. I was so wrong. About everything. And I was the child everyone told me I was so much.

I needed Sydney.

But then I remembered that when I came into her room, I just got a message. I took my phone out and saw that the message was from Sydney. I immediately smiled, even though I knew she sent it before whatever happened that made her feel jealous. And as I read the message, I almost started crying.

"Can't wait to see you and give you all a bath. There is no order in my home when I'm at work. And Adrian? You better make a big, nice dinner for me. I don't know what our son and daughter did to deserve something as drastic as a bath, but I want to hear all about it.

Miss you, my housewife."

I read it over and over again, tears beginning to form in my eyes.

My Sydney. I wanted that bath. I wanted her to be with me in our little happy home. I wanted to never let her go. I was 22 years old, but I wanted to have a family with her. Hell, I wanted as many kids as physically possible. I wanted to buy us a nice yellow house in a sunny neighborhood and to paint with her on it. I wanted to be free. I wanted to have a real life with her and to finally have what I never had before - love. But somehow, without knowing, I screwed up even the slightest chances of that becoming true.

So I just sat there, on the floor, my eyes closed, the back of my head touching the wall, my head slightly raised up, towards the sky, as if I were trying to tell God something.

And just as I actually began to talk with God in which I didn't believe until several minutes ago, a steady hand touched my shoulder. I prayed for it to belong to Sydney.

"Adrian," Jill whispered. "It's okay. I'm here now. Just let me take a part of your burden."

I nodded, too tired to fight her now, and closed my eyes again. I couldn't keep them open - it was too dark. Spirit dreams, auras, experiments and healings made the darkness too great. I wasn't sure if I recovered from bringing Jill back yet. I was never a healer like Sonya and Lissa were, but I was always excelling at spirit dreams, which they never mastered.

So I just let go. I felt the darkness slowly vanish as Jill transferred it to herself. I knew I'd feel guilty later, but I felt a thousand pounds lighter. I opened my eyes and squinted at how bright it was now that the darkness vanished.

Jill simply hugged me. "It'll be okay, Adrian. You know that Sydney always has good reasons for what she does," she whispered. In a louder tone, she continued, "And except her, you are the most responsible, mature and amazing person I know. You are wonderful. And Sydney loves you. And you are going to go home now and wait until tonight. She'll be there." My dear Jill kissed my cheek. "And make that dinner she asked for," she whispered, smiling.

"I love you, Jailbait," I said and hugged her. "I just hope you know how to cope with the darkness better than me." She nodded.

I kissed her forehead and got up. We said our goodbyes and I walked towards the door, intending to leave the house and then Eddie walked by me, his face the usual guardian mask, but concern flashing in his eyes.

"Castile," I said and nodded at him.

He stopped. "She took the darkness, didn't she? So now you can live normally while she loses her sanity." He crossed his arms over his chest, his face showing anger. "You are selfish, Ivashkov, you know that? She is 15 years old! I don't even want to know what she's exposed to!"

I raised an eyebrow and leaned against the wall. "That fact doesn't go in favour to you neither," I said, smirking.

His mask melted for a second. There was fear in his aura, and then determination. Apparently, he decided he could trust me or something. Was he even ever in love before Jill? Well, he found the right person to confide into, that's for sure.

Eddie spoke, interrupting my thoughts. "She doesn't know. And I don't want her to. I'm just her guardian. She'd never even look at me, I'm a dhampir! And I'm fine this way. So age difference isn't a problem."

I raised an eyebrow again and smirked. "Innocent Castile. I've been out of this for too long - it's time for doctor Adrian to get involved." Eddie was watching me with a confused expression while I shook my head. Then I chuckled. "Can't you see that she's madly in love with you too?"

Eddie tried to interrupt. "You can't know that for..."

I shushed him. "It's a fact. She told me and I see it in her aura every day. But she's 15 and scared that you'll reject her since," and I mimicked Jill's voice, "you could find so many dhampir girls that are not too skinny, tall and pale and that aren't princesses. Oh, Adrian," and I put my hand over my forehead, "he doesn't even notice me. And he is so, so, so perfect. If I told him, he'd ask to be reassigned. He just sees me as a part of his job." Satisfied with my imitating skills, I grinned and watched as Eddie's horrified face and aura turned into shock and then hope.

"That can't be true," he finally whispered. "How could she..." He furrowed his eyebrows, searching for words.

"Notice you?" I offered. "Man, you're hot. As much as a guy can be, for a guy. In some ways, you're even hotter than me. How could she not notice you?"

Eddie was shocked. "But I'm just her..." he started, but I interrupted.

"Guardian? Yeah, you just," and I emphasized the last word, "follow her everywhere and would give your life to protect her. Not a big deal."

I patted Eddie's shoulder, still chuckling because of the look on his face.

"Take good care of my Jailbait." I said in a low tone. "Spirit users can make people see and feel things that don't exist. Just remember that." Eddie nodded, his guardian mask on, but his eyes very thankful.

I left the house and sighed. Is there anything I wouldn't do for those I loved? Even though my life was a mess, I knew Jill deserved to at least be with the man she loved. And Eddie would never hurt her.

Now I just had to survive until tonight. Until Sydney came to my apartment.


	18. Chapter 5, part four: Working It Out

I sent a quick text to Sydney saying: "I left the door unlocked," hoping that if Jill didn't talk to her, she'd get the invitation.

I sighed. What if she didn't show up? I'd then sit down and cry. There was no point in even avoiding it. If she didn't come, it'd mean she didn't want to work this out. It'd be the beginning of a breakup. And I wouldn't be able to handle that.

I went into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

Hmm. What should I make? It had to be something Sydney would love. It had to be something that'd make her my Sydney again. But I was afraid. What if that tattoo was still controlling her? What if she couldn't fight it? Yes, she could. She was Sydney Sage, a powerful awesome witch. And I firmly believed she was still mine.

I read several recipes about several meals very similar to fondue. No, that wouldn't do it. I had to make something spectacular.

I finally settled on making chicken with mushroom sauce. I never ate that, but it looked romantic in the recipe book.

Actually, I chose it because it was the only recipe in the book less than a five pages long. It was going to be easy, and good.

Easy and good. Yeah. That were my exact thoughts when I saw that the kitchen was on fire. I had no idea what ignited, but before I somehow put it out, I burned my hair. Adrian Ivashkov burned his hair! It was the perfect time to panic, but I refused. The sauce was burned down, but the chicken was somehow still alive. I had to continue for my Sage, even though my hair was... I couldn't even think about it. I'd panic if I did.

I managed to make the dinner and opened the fridge to see about dessert. Coconut pie. Hopper's favourite. I'd give it to him and Lily so they wouldn't interrupt later.

Oh my God. Where was Hopper? Where was Lily? With my Moroi hearing, I would have heard if something exploded.

I left the door unlocked. Oh no. No, no. Please, God, don't let that be true. I'll become a monk if they're in the bedroom.

It turned out I became a monk when I opened the bedroom door. There were Hopper and Lily, asleep on Sydney's and my bed. And they were hugging. Lily's head was on Hopper's chest, his arm over her shoulders. Their tails were intervened.

And there I stood, in the doorway, watching their little chests fall and rise. I just had my first parental heart attack. But I was so glad they were okay.

The temptation was too great. I quickly took a picture of them on my phone. I'd frame this and put it on the nightstand, but I'd put it as my desktop background first. Yes, they were that cute. I left the pie on the nightstand.

And then I remembered that I was still cooking the chicken. I ran to the kitchen at an unnatural speed. And I came just in time - it was finished.

Phew. I sighed in relief. Heart attack number two - avoid cooking disaster.

I just finished arranging the table when I heard the door open.

And there she was, my personal goddess. The yellow-and-purple girl. Her aura was perfectly synchronized with the color of my walls. I chose that color because it reminded me of my Sydney. She was wearing a green dress that looked too beautiful to be true. Her hair was perfectly styled and I loved how she didn't look like a runaway model anymore. She looked perfect. And how did I look, with my burned hair and oil stains on my blue shirt? I looked like a housewife, I realised. Like a father left in the house for a day, waiting for the wife to come home and save him. I was already saved, just by looking at her.

I realised we were staring at each other. I suddenly became nervous. Adrian Ivashkov was nervous. That was unbelievable. I couldn't count my heartbeats, my heart beat that fast. And I forgot how to count, seeing her start walking towards me.

When she came closer, her expression became shocked. "What happened to your hair?" she asked in a horrified voice.

I turned towards the cooker. The wall behind it was totally black. As I watched her become totally horrified and concerned, I suddenly had the urge to scratch the back of my neck.

Sydney quickly did a once-over and searched my hands for burns. I was pretty sure that looking and touching my hands for at least two minutes was a thorough search, but I enjoyed it as much as she did.

When she finally realised that I didn't incinerate myself, she drew back, went to the sink and drank a glass of water. Then she sat down. I was too distracted by that emerald dress to hear her talk. Damn, it was too long. The lenght was scandalous for Sage, but still. It could have been at least another inch shorter. The neckline too. How did she dress this... Scandalous? Beautiful? Was it for me? Was she ready to do something she knew I'd love, even if she never did it?

But my thoughts were interrupted by an exasperated, "Adrian."

I looked at Sage's face. She was blushing and was almost as nervous as I was. That made my heart beat faster. I would get another heart attack, just by watching her be so perfect.

"Huh?" I said, gripping the counter not to fall. She was to far away. I needed her. I wanted to be on this counter with her and kiss her until we both died of air shortage.

"Jill said you'd love it," Sydney said. "Is it that bad that you have to stare?" she whispered and turned her head away.

"No!" I said too loudly. Then in a lower voice I said, "No. Of course not. It is perfect. I'm waging if it's more beautiful than the black dress. But the red one is still the most beautiful one..." I continued in a whisper, turning my head away, "Since I realised I loved you when I saw you in it."

I heard Sydney gasp and looked at her. Her shock turned into affection. Her aura was so purple.

She was trying not to smile by biting her lower lip, but she started giggling. Man, how cute that was.

"What?" I said, grinning.

Sydney started to laugh. I loved that laugh, even though I heard it so few times. "Your hair..." she tried, but shook her head as she laughed.

"Get up and go to the dining table. We'll see if you'll laugh when you see what I prepared." I smirked and got up. As Sydney sat down after I, the perfect gentleman, pulled out her chair, I started to deceive myself with hoping everything'd be okay.

As we ate, Sydney's face showed pure delight. She liked it. Yes! Adrian - strike one. Burning my hair was totally worth it. If I knew it'd make us both so happy, I'd do it more often.

"So, how did Jill get you to wear this scandalous dress?" I said and smirked.

Sydney stopped eating. I noticed she didn't eat like a bird anymore. But her hands were shaking as he took every next bite. She was trying hard. Distracting her would probably work. "You really think it's scandalous? I think I've put on too much weight. But she said you'd love it and I immediately agreed." I smiled, but she was still unsure. How could she be unsure? Couldn't she see what that dress did to me?

"Sydney," I said passionately and Sydney shivered, "That dress is perfectly decent and normal and... Nothing. It has no value." She paled, her eyes already becoming red. "But," I continued emphatically, "With you in it, it is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. I can't even think - all I see in my mind is you, in that dress. I won't get rid of that image any time soon. You, putting on some weight, is the most wonderful thing in the whole universe. You're perfect now." I grinned. "And I keep thinking how the dress is too long." I smirked and Sydney's uneasiness faded. She blushed and looked at the plate.

"I'm not that pretty," she whispered. And before I could say anything, she smiled and said, "So, will you tell me about that bath you gave Hopper and Lily?"

I nodded and started speaking. I told her about the bucket and how I thought she'd report to dragons child service. She laughed for minutes. I told her about Jill and Eddie and how I told him about Jill's feelings for him. She was shocked, but nodded. And her plate was almost empty by then.

She told me about how she didn't want to interfere but that their behaviour unnerved her and that she'd have told Jill about Eddie soon. And her plate was empty.

Realising that, she looked back and forth between me and the plate, shocked. "Oh my God," she said. "How many thousands of calories were in this?"

I grinned and took her hand in mine. "It's okay. By eating that you made me happy. Thank you."

That distracted her. "The chicken was wonderful. You really shouldn't have gone through the pain of burning yourself and the kitchen down..."

I shook my head and laughed. Sydney giggled, and then started laughing too.

A moment later, I realised our fingers were intervened. She seemed to realise it too and she just looked into my eyes. Could she see into my soul? Could she see that I loved her, only her and that she was everything for me? Could she see that I burned with desire? And could she see that I belonged to her, and only to her?

She obviously could, because she got up, an idea burning in her eyes, and pulled me with her. She got us into the bathroom and found the shampoo. Not that I had at least twenty hair products and that she had to search among them.

I was obedient, but mostly curious to what she'd do. She put my head in the shower cabin, took her shoes off and got in herself. Then she started washing my hair.

"Sage, what are you..." I started, but she shushed me.

After washing my hair, she kept my eyes closed by putting one palm over it, and searched for something with the other hand.

What was she doing? I mean, I completely trusted her, but why was she washing my hair? And what didn't she want me to see?

Then I heard her sigh and a familiar sound that made me draw back.

"No!" I said as I tried to get away.

"Adrian!" Sydney said. "You can't go to your classes with burned hair! It'll grow back more quickly if I cut it."

I went limp in her hands, whispering, "It'll look awful."

As she cut the burning remains of my hair, she touched my cheek and softly whispered, "It's okay, honey. Everything looks wonderful on you."

I just closed my eyes and tried not to think about it. I'd cry next time I looked in the mirror, I knew.

When Sydney finished, she drew back to look at me. She was insanely biting her lower lip, and I was on the verge of having a panic attack.

"It kind of looks sexy," she said and started laughing like crazy.

But then my alpha male instincts kicked in. She was standing in the shower, laughing at me. So, how could I revenge my hurt pride?

I turned the shower on. Sydney screamed and tried to get out, but I didn't let her. I just didn't count on getting totally wet in the process.

Sydney looked at me for a second. God, she was beautiful. And I didn't want to think about that totally wet dress clinging to her body.

She pulled me in and then things got foggy.

We were kissing like crazy persons, fully dressed in a shower. And man, how good the experience was. Her hands in my - now short - hair made me growl and press her against the bathroom tiles.

Nothing mattered anymore except her, the fact that I wasn't going to lose her, and my hands running down the lenght of that dress. She was shuddering, but it wasn't cold in here. It was too hot, actually.

Despite her protests, I left her lips and started kissing her neck. She sighed happily and I smiled against her skin.

Was there a more perfect moment to do this? Yes, I decided immediately. I'd wait. I wanted her so much. I don't think I ever wanted anything as much as I wanted Sydney in that moment, in that shower, but I didn't do it. I couldn't. Everything in me screamed "Come on, Adrian! You know it won't change anything!", but that one rational part of me knew that if I did it, she'd be just that - a conquest. And she wasn't a conquest. She was the woman I wanted to spend my life with. She was the woman I loved more than anything.

So I pulled back.

Sydney opened her eyes, watching me with a questioning look, but I shook my head.

"As I said the previous time, the dress stays on," I said and then added, "At least until you change into something dry." I smirked. "I am going to have bigger problems with self-control when you put on one of my shirts."

Sydney watched me with uncertainty. "But why..." she started.

I shook my head. "We have to talk. I mean, it would have been a good way to work things out, but I still wouldn't know. And I want to know what happened this morning, Sydney."

Sydney nodded and then smiled. "You have got to stop calling me that all the time. I am so going to get used to it and you won't be able to melt me by saying it."

I grinned. "Yeah. Your exasperated 'Adrian!' has the same effect on me."

We both laughed and before we started kissing again, I took her into my arms bridal-style, making her scream again, and got out of the bathroom.

I loved that bathroom too now.

But our troubles had only began. As I opened the bedroom door, I heard a squeak that sounded like a war cry and something hit my face. Then Sydney's. She quickly chanted a shield spell but it apparently didn't work on callistannas.

I quickly got out and closed the door.

"How have you raised our children, Adrian?" Sydney said through a laugh.

"Better than I did myself. Now, I distinctively remember that there is at least a gallon of pies in the fridge."

Sydney raised an eyebrow. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

I smirked. "My own personal devil."

Several minutes later, a war cry resonated through the house.

"Attack!" I screamed as we got into the room and started throwing pie at Hopper and Lily. They totally weren't expecting that and even though they fought, they were on the bed within seconds, being tickled by us. Hopper was squealing underneath Sydney's hands. Lily was giggling.

But when I started to tickle her stomach, she breathed light pink fire at me.

A callistanna dragon was breathing fire.

Dear Lord.

I screamed and let Lily go. I glanced at Sydney - she looked more horrified than I felt.

"What the hell?" I said too loud.

Hopper looked mesmerized while Lily giggled.

"Do it again, Lily," I said. "But slowly and carefully."

Lily nodded and opened her mouth. Then, light pink fire came out of it.

"Wow," I said. "So that's why her eyes are pink. Does Hopper breathe brown fire then?"

But Hopper just squeaked and got out of Sydney's hands. He ran to the pillow and hid behind it.

Lily just giggled again.

"Sydney, take Lily out into the living room until I have a talk with my son," I said. Sydney shot me a confused look, but nodded and took Lily in her arm. Then she took my black shirt, winked and got out. God, she was going to wear it.

And just then I realised what a mess everything was. My room was smeared in all kinds of pie - including my black silk sheets. Sydney was fitting for a pie advertisement and my face was covered in pie. But only Hopper mattered now.

"Hey there, buddy," I said softly, remembering the first time we talked. "What is wrong? You know you can tell dad everything," I said and patted him on the head.

His tail swinged slightly and he squeaked, turning towards me. His eyes were big and red and he was crying.

"Baby, it's okay," I said as I took him in my hands and started rocking him gently. "What is it?"

He opened his mouth and I expected brown fire to come out of it, but nothing happened. He squeaked again and closed his eyes, sniffing.

"You can't breathe fire?" I said gently and Hopper shuddered. "It's okay. Lily is probably a mutant or something," I said and rolled my eyes.

"But it doesn't matter. You are my son and I love you. Breathing fire isn't important." Hopper opened his eyes and squeaked quietly.

I kissed the top of his head and patted him on the stomach. "Okay, big boy. Let's show those girls. There's a lot of pie still left," I said and Hopper smiled. "You ready?"

Hopper nodded and another warcry resonated through the house.

I don't know how many minutes later, we were all on the floor of the living room, laughing, smeared in pie.

Sydney got up first and started acting all bossy. "Hopper, Lily, you need a bath. Adrian, you clean the living room while I change the sheets." She sighed. "Come on, don't look at me like that." Hopper and Lily got up and headed towards the bathroom.

Sydney looked at me signifficantly. "The sooner we clean up, the sooner we can have that talk."

I shook my head. "I can't do anything while looking at you in that shirt," I said in a low tone.

"Well," she said, "I guess it's a good thing you won't be looking at me then." And she pulled her hair in a messy bun and started cleaning around. Damn, she was hot.

I groaned and got up.

Minutes later, we were all clean and Sydney was just tucking Hopper and Lily in their improvised bed made of pillows.

"Good night, my babies," Sydney said and giggled as she kissed their heads. "

I smiled. This was too perfect to be true. Could she come tomorrow, too? And the day after tomorrow? And the following day? Could she just stay?

"Well, I'm planning on doing just that," she said as she glanced up at me with a shy smile. Did she actually think that I maybe wouldn't want that?

"You need to stop saying your thoughts out loud," she said with another shy smile. "And yes, I'm not sure if you want that."

I groaned and turned on my stomach in bed. "Come here," I said tiredly.

Sydney turned the lights off, came and got into the bed hesitantly. But after I touched her arm and pulled her to me, her shyness faded and she sighed happily.

I let her make herself comfortable. Her head was on my chest, her hair smelling beautifully. She was like a dream underneath my arms, so small and fragile, in only my black shirt about which I didn't want to think about.

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered.

"Why?" I asked, surprised.

"For acting like that this morning."

"Ah, that," I said in a low tone.

"I just... When I came back, I met Neil on the way and he said..."she sighed and continued, "That Zoe was in love with you and that you told him you moved on from me and that I wasn't interesting to you anymore. I figured that if he knew about us, he was speaking the truth. And I thought he was involved with Zoe." She shook her head and watched me take this in.

I just spoke my thoughts out loud. "What?" and Sydney shushed me, pointing to the dragons. "That son of a..." I stopped myself, seeing Sydney's face. "When I came, I saw him get out of Zoe's room and when he saw me, his aura flashed with fear. I was suspicious, but now I definetely know that something's going on." I paused and took Sydney's face in my hands.

"You know that's not true, right? You know that I want you to marry me and to live with me and at least ten little dhampirs and dragons and never leave? You know that I love you more than anything in the whole world?"

Sydney furrowed her eyebrows. "Ten? Don't you think that's a little too much?"

I smirked. "Nah. We should take every chance we get." I kissed her forehead.

Sydney smiled. "I talked with Jill and she calmed me a bit. She actually bought that dress for me and I took it, hoping it'd somehow help if you really did move onto my sister. And I came here determined to leave you, but when I saw your hair..." she touched the top of my head and giggled, "I knew I could never, ever leave you. And I knew we'd sort this out."

I grinned, happier than ever. "Oh, Sydney. I would've died if you left me. And I think that jerk Neil wanted to distract you so you wouldn't find out about your sister's little affair. She's still underage, right? But now you can't call Stanton and get her re-assigned since they have a card up their sleeve too."

Sydney shut her eyes tightly and sank into my embrace. "I don't want to think about it now. I want to think about you, here and now."

And yeah, by the protocol, we started to make out.

I don't know how long we were kissing when Sydney laughed. "If our children weren't several feet away, I would have forced you to continue our 'I'm a quick study' thing we started in the shower."

I laughed and took a glance at our children. That escalated quickly. The dragons were... Kissing? They were probably just mimicking what they saw us do.

I chuckled. "They aren't a problem." Then I leaned and whispered into her ear, "They're doing the same thing we were doing until a moment ago."

Sydney gasped. "Dear God, they're just children."

I chuckled and brought her closer. "So are we."

And we kissed and cuddled until we both fell asleep. It was the happiest, most beautiful sleep I ever had.


	19. Chapter 5, part five: Waking Up

**Author's note:** _I hope that this will be in italic :) I hope I figured this out too. If not, then I'll change it when I gain computer access. So yeah, this is an author's note! I couldn't live without writing these notes and telling you all how much I love you._

_The first person I want to mention is HopperIvashkinator. I love her. Recently I've done something that hurt her, and when I realised that, I hurt myself too. So I want to apologize for the millionth time and tell you all how much I love her. She just took me how I am and made me start writing. And then kept me sane through all of this. And when I forgot her, she apologized. I just don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose the most honest friend I have here. She is my sister, even though we're not connected by blood. But love and loyalty run deeper than blood. And I am sorry for breaking that vow. So now go read her story, review and love her as much as I do. Or even more... Just kidding. Nobody can love her more than me. My supporter, my sister, my friend, honest, good-hearted, lovable, loyal, wonderful, beautiful, amazing, awesome HopperIvashkinator._

_I want to mention several other people:_

_-Sam1405, who just made a profile and who reviews, but doesn't answer my ultralong messages;_  
_-damonforever86, who just passed her nursing boards, so congratulations and I hope she reads my story soon;_  
_-TheHappyLol, who owns Lily and claims that Eddie isn't hotter than Adrian and that Lily isn't a mutant;_  
_-KeepCalmAndDream, who always makes me laugh with her reviews and reactions;_  
_-MilankaLovesMetal, who always finds time for reviewing and who never lets me down;_  
_-CherrySlushLover, who I miss like crazy;_  
_-MissMegatronIvashkov, who always swoons when I mention Adrian in the story (but let's be honest, who doesn't?);_  
_-Totalbooknerd13, who always answers with "No problem" to my "Thanks" and that always makes me smile;_  
_-Bukwurm13, whose suggestion by Taylor Swift "Mine" is a song I love and will put it in the next chapter;_  
_-Lonchik 108, who started reading chapter one yesterday so I hope she reads everything soon;_  
_-rose, whose review I did get and I love it, and I want to inform her that I don't have twitter neither, but that all the tweets are arranged on PenguinTeenAustralia's official site;_  
_-everyone else who support and love me._

_Man, I have supporters. This turned out to be huge, and I'm only on chapter 5! So guys, thank you. I love you and your reviews. You're all awesome!_

_Also, I just found out that my browser won't let me write more than 4,000 words per chapter. 18 would have been longer. Many others probably should._

_And, if you want something to happen, you have that little PM box near my avatar! And just review, it makes me happy._

_Yes, guys, I couldn't resist it! Another quote! And why can't Richelle publish chapter one and make us suffer even harder?_

_And yes, this chapter is very, very short but I want to write chronologically so the next one will be a surprise. If I have time, I'll post it today! :)_

_Richelle, you own these characters but it doesn't stop me from loving them._

_And, here comes the chapter:_

* * *

I woke up slowly, feeling warm and happy. I smiled, not wanting to open my eyes. But why was I happy? I couldn't remember.

Then I felt something move against my chest and I immediately stiffened. What the hell? Was this Hopper?

I opened my eyes and they surely widened... Because I've never seen anything as beautiful as that, ever before.

Sydney was asleep, her face on my chest, her hair all over me. And I didn't believe it was wild in the mornings until now. She was half-covered with the blanket, but her legs were out in the cold. And man, what legs she had. And she hid them so good from everyone. Except me, thank God. She didn't hide anything from me anymore.

I grinned and started gently, very gently, pulling my fingers through her hair. I just couldn't resist it - the urge was too strong. I thought about her steady breathing, her golden hair, same-colored aura, her golden skin. The only thing that was missing were her eyes. Yeah. Then everything about her would be golden.

Sydney sniffed and turned on the other side. The other side of the bed was bathed in sun. I forgot to lower the blinds yesterday. But now, I was happy that I didn't do it. Moroi shied from the sunlight but as I watched Sydney, I knew without a doubt that humans had been made for the sun. And Sydney... She was beautiful. The most beautiful person I ever saw in my whole life. Her expression was peaceful and sleepy and she looked like some kind of a princess in her bed, waiting for me to give her a kiss and wake her up.

I didn't have words. Everything about her, physically and mentally, was absolutely perfect. And she had no idea. I loved her - the whole package, and I knew she loved me too. I loved her health issues, she loved my thirst for blood. I loved her nerdness, she loved my narcissism. And it was wonderful. I've never felt like this before. I've never belonged to someone like this. And it was amazing - having this little person near me, having my legs intervened with hers, having her trust me, love me, protecting her from everything and everyone. And yes. I would protect her from Strigoi, witches, Alchemists, Moroi, dhampirs, vampire hunters, crazy teachers, cats, everything. I knew it without a doubt. Even from little harmless dragons throwing pies at her.

I glanced at my son. Oh no. Lily's tail was in Hopper's mouth, his claw near her eyes. When they woke up, they'd hurt each other. Hopefully, they wouldn't. But they were fine for now.

I glanced back, at my love. At the girl that immediately made my heart ignite. I sighed happily, seeing her calm face, seeing how hot she looked in my shirt. I realised that she left a permanent mark in everything mine she ever touched. I loved that black shirt now. I loved this bed, these sheets, the sun, the room, the apartment, Palm Springs, everything.

"I love you," I couldn't surpress myself from whispering. She smiled in her sleep, moved closer to me and hugged my arm, mumbling something unrecgonizable. Damn, she was cute.

I chuckled and she opened one eye, glaring at me with it. Even the golden lily was completely synchronized with her beautiness. I suddenly understood why she loved architecture and Romans - she belonged there, among the gods, among the gold and the glory. But her heart belonged to me. And that thought made me smile.

"Why are you looking at me like a crazy man in love?" Sydney asked, still half-asleep, her voice muffled.

"Because I am crazy man in love," I answered, "with you."

Sydney smiled with that - oh God how I love it - shy smile, took my hands and pulled me closer.

She put her head in the crook of my neck. "I had a dream," she whispered.

"A good, or a bad one?" I whispered back, interested to find out more.

Sydney smiled against the skin on my neck, making me shiver. "A good one," she whispered.

"Was there a guy in it? I don't believe that your favourite cat from when you were a 3-year-old can make you smile like that."

Sydney laughed. "Yes, there was a guy. A very handsome, tall guy."

I grinned. "Have you recently cut his messy hair and made him awful to every other girl in the world so that you can have him only for yourself?"

Sydney laughed against my neck again. God, how good it made me feel. "Actually, I did," she whispered again and touched my hair with her fingers.

"And? What happened in the dream, with that still-ridiculously-handsome-guy?"

Sydney touched my cheek with her fingers, her head still in the crook of my neck and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling.

"We were living in a big, awful, yellow house. And we were so happy that it was awful and yellow. I was working in a garage as a mechanic, and he was there, few feet away from me, painting every day." She sighed gently. "And there were at least ten little dhampirs and dragons in the house. They were all so similar to us."

I didn't comment. With my closed eyes, the only thing I focused on was Sydney's voice.

"And you know what was the best part? I looked into the mirror and barely saw the golden lily on my cheek. And we were all so happy, Adrian." She sighed, her voice trembling.

I knew that tremble.

Despite her protests, I pulled Sydney closer, until her face was on top of mine. And just as I feared, her eyes were shining.

"I promise you that we are going to have that," I said firmly.

Sydney smiled and sniffed. "I'm sorry. I just..." she shook her head. "I was so happy, that it almost hurt to wake up."

I pulled her closer and kissed her fiercely. "You are going to be so happy that it will hurt to fall asleep," I said and she smiled against my lips.

After minutes of kissing and rolling in bed and laughing and roaming hands and shivering and giggling and cuddling, I broke the silence. "Now, until you find a spell that can teleport us to Brasil or somewhere where we can buy a yellow house and not end up on news, go and fight your sister and her dhampir lover. And hope that Eddie finally said something to Jill."

Sydney started to say, "I know a spell..." but then abruptly stopped.

"Adrian, what time is it?" she said in a low whisper full of fear.

I quickly checked the clock on the nighstand. Damn. She was going to freak out.

"Don't freak out."

Sydney tried to get up, but I didn't let her. "Tell me."

I was silent.

"Eight," she said, expecting a response. I remained silent.

"Nine," she said, her voice trembling. I didn't say anything.

"Ten? Eleven?" I could see panic and fear starting to rise in her voice. I just pulled her to me, her head on my chest again.

"Twelve?" she whispered, all hope gone from her voice.

I slowly nodded and kissed the top of her head.

"I am a dead woman," she whispered. "They are probably already looking for me."

I kissed her temples. "Everything will be okay. Jill would've called."

"I have never, ever, woken up after 8. And Zoe knows that. She will think that I've been with a guy and that I... Oh my God."

I chuckled. "Well, technically, you've been with a guy."

Sydney lifted her head and looked me in the eyes. "I have to go," she said and sighed. "I will become invisible, go in the room, change out of this," and she pointed to my shirt, "and pray that nobody notices. That means I don't have to pray."

And then my phone started ringing. Sydney looked at me, panicking, and I quickly took it, seeing that the caller was Eddie.

"Castile," I said cheerfully. "Missing me already? How did it go with Jailbait?"

Eddie coughed. "It went by... fine. Adrian, did you see or talk to Sydney this morning?"

I looked at Sydney, not knowing what to say. "Yeah... Yeah," I finally said. "She called me a few hours ago to ask me... If I had any classes today. She wanted to... Know if I was going to come for a feeding... Because of Zoe." Sydney's eyes widened, but she nodded, putting her head in her hands.

"Is everything okay with her?" I asked.

Eddie sighed. "We just didn't hear her leave. Zoe thinks we kidnapped her or something. Okay. Thanks for the information. She'll probably think you killed her now."

"Any time, Castile," I said and shut the phone off.

"Phew," I said, watching Sydney start to breathe again. "That was close."

Sydney got up. God, she was hot. I had to start buying smaller shirts. Even though this one looked good on her...

"I have to go," she said too loudly as she picked up her purse, put out a necklace and tie it around her neck with my help, chanting a spell.

She quickly picked up the dress, put on her shoes, kissed Hopper and Lily that were still asleep, and started to leave, but I caught her hand and pulled her to me. "Good luck with lying yourself out of this," I said a moment before we started kissing.

She sighed against my lips. "Zoe will become suspicious and I won't be able to come here for a while. I love you." she whispered and got out the front door.

"Love you too!" I said and she turned around, smiling.

I closed the door and let myself slide to the floor.

This was the best morning of my life. And it was about to become hell for Sydney.


	20. Chapter 5, part II and III B: Jeddie!

**Author's note:** _Hey guys! A little late, I know, but I had a rough day. This is a surprise chapter from Jill's POV and I hope you like it. The change of POV inspired me. I just hope it can all fit into one chapter. If not, I'll make it into two, so I am sorry but it is the browser's fault._

_People that get a mention are:_  
_-HopperIvashkinator, my sister. I love you and I want everyone to know what a wonderful, kind person you are. I've never met anyone like you. Thank you._  
_-CherrySlushLover, my close friend. You are a wonderful supporter. Thank you._  
_-KeepCalmAndDream, my close friend and the girl that makes me laugh very often. Don't stop. Thank you._  
_-TheHappyLol, my close friend. My popcorn girl. Thank you._  
_-damonforever86, my close friend. Your support is awesome, even though you haven't read anything yet. Thank you._  
_-Sam1405, my fellow friend. Even though we exchanged, like, 5 messages, I feel like a good friend to you. Thank you._  
_-MilankaLovesMetal, my fellow friend. Crazy girl that actually writes reviews that make sense. Having you is awesome. Thank you._  
_-Totalbooknerd13, my dear friend. Your support means the world to me. Thank you._  
_-Miss MegatronIvashkov, my dear friend. You didn't stop reviewing and abandon me. Thank you._  
_-Rose, my devoted reader. If you made a profile, we could talk. Thank you._  
_-Lilietjee99, my devoted reader. I love your reviews. Thank you._  
_-Shivani94, my devoted reader. You disabled the PM feature, but I still aknowledge you and love your reviews. Thank you._

_I love you all. For Bukwurm13 that expects Taylor Swift's song, "Mine", don't worry! I have a great idea for the next real chapter. This one was a surprise for me too, so I promise you'll get yours tomorrow! :)_

_So yeah, enjoy Jeddie. Zeil comes when I change into Sydney's POV._

_All the characters belong to the funny Richelle Mead! And still waiting for chapter one of TFH..._

* * *

**Jill's POV**

Eddie and I were sitting in the living room when we heard slamming of a door.

And judging by the whirlwind of emotions that were leaking from the bond, it was somehow connected to Adrian.

Eddie got up and I sighed. He was only going to make it worse. I didn't want to get into Adrian's head now - not when Eddie was here, not when I'd only make him worried like I already did so many times.

A moment later, Eddie came back. He sat next to me and gently said, "Did it come yet?"

I nodded, too close to tears and breaking down to look at him. Too weak. Too weak to resist the urge to go into Adrian's head.

I went in there for a second. It was so dark... And painful. I was thinking about Sydney and how she thought I considered her a conquest.

No. Adrian was thinking that. I was Jill. I was with Eddie.

And that brought me back into my body. I was crying on the floor, Eddie looking at me with widened eyes, horrified.

"Eddie," I stammered, "I- I'm sorry."

And then something like anger rised in his eyes. Was he angry that I cried? That I acted like a child? I immediately started to wipe my tears.

"It's him, isn't it?" Eddie said in a voice that sounded too calm.

I didn't say anything.

"He is doing that again to you." Eddie said and slammed his fist at the wall.

"It's nothing, Eddie, it's not his fault..." I started, but Eddie interrupted me.

"What did he do?" he asked in a low voice.

"Nothing," I said immediately, only one thought in my mind - protect them, protect their relationship, don't tell Eddie.

"Why do you protect him, Jillian? What has he done this time?"Eddie said, snapping. I flinched at hearing my full name. He had never called me like that before. So I decided to snap too. Maybe he was older than me, but he had no right to yell at me.

"You are frustrating me, Eddison! He had a fight, okay? A fight with Sydney." I said, yelling. "And he is angry now which means I am too! Why do you have to know everything?" I was already out of breath, but spirit was making me angry. At Eddie.

"Poor Sydney. He is going to get her into serious trouble!" Oh no. I mentioned Sydney. How could I make this right? But when I heard his next words, I stopped thinking about that. "And that spirit darkness is putting you in danger too!" Eddie said, still yelling. I froze, looking into his eyes. Did he actually care about me?

No. He was just my guardian. He turned away and lowered his tone for, like, a decibel. "There's something going on between them." My face looked panicked as I slowly shook my head. God, what have I done? "If I didn't know Sydney, I think I would have actually considered it." Eddie continued. Thank God. I sighed happily, smiling.  
"Thank you, Eddie. You are the best guardian," I whispered. I wanted to say so much more, but I settled on this sinbe it wouldn't make him ask to be re-assigned.

"And you are the most beautiful princess in the world," Eddie whispered back and it totally threw me back. Only then I noticed how close we were sitting, how our hands were touching, how we were both breathing heavy. I was not upset. Eddie was making me feel this way.

And then the moment ended. Adrian opened the door and said, "Would you two kiss already?"Thank you, Adrian. I just saved you from Eddie's wrath and you ruin the one moment in which I can look into those hazel eyes and deceive myself that they love me.

Seeing Eddie's shocked face, his guardian mask on, I realised that it could never happen. And it hurt like hell. "I, I have to go." I said probably too loud, but I didn't care. I was almost crying again.

But Eddie's words made me deceive myself again. "I'll go with you," he said. Was he concerned? No. He was just my guardian. It was his duty. But I smiled anyway and got out.

And unfortunately, I started to cry. "I'm fine, Eddie," I whispered, praying he didn't hear my voice break.

"Jill, I..." he started as I stopped in front of my room, still not able to turn around and face him. He took a deep breath. "If you need me, I'll be out front. Just call."

I'm not even sure if he registered my slight nod, but of course he did. He was a guardian - his job was to register the slightest movements.

I shut the door and started sobbing, hard. I knew he could hear me, but I didn't care anymore. Adrian was sad and it rubbed off on me. But I also cried because I knew Eddie didn't love me. It was awful.

I sat there, crying, making my hair, hands, shirt and face dirty, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Adrian thought Sydney didn't love him anymore.

I was probably already inside of his head, when a voice brought me back to myself.

"Jill? Are you okay?" Eddie whispered gently. He stood in the doorway, his face very dark.

"I said I am fine!" I yelled and got up. I tried to get out of the room, but Eddie stopped me.

"Jill, it's the darkness, you have to calm down..." he said softly, but I cut him off.

"Don't you dare tell me to call down! I'm not a child!" I shouted and tried to move past him, but he took my wrists. I struggled, but couldn't escape his grip.

He moved me backwards until my back hit the wall. His eyes were fiery, his face full of concern and something that I saw as passion, but I decieved myself. Probably disgust.

I still shivered. "Fight it, Jill. Come back to me," he said fiercely.

I shook my head. "I have to go and help him," I whispered, looking everywhere except into his eyes.

Eddie smiled. "No, you don't. I won't let you," he said in a near-whisper.

"He is in pain, Eddie. And so am I. If I don't help him, I'll just sit here and cry," I whispered.

Something in Eddie's face changed. His whole expression softened and his grip on me loosened. But why? Did he feel... Pity? Oh my God. Don't cry, Jill, don't cry. You won't cry in front of him.

"Don't cry," Eddie said, touching my cheek with his fingers. "What can I do to make you feel better, Jillian?"

I immediately knew the answer. Say that you love me. Kiss me. Hug me tight and never let me go. But if I said that, he would have asked to be someone else's guardian. I couldn't handle that. I'd rather have him in front of me with him loving someone else than have him know I love him and be someone else's guardian.

God, I sounded like Adrian. And he needed me. He needed me to take the darkness and work things with Sydney out. He'd never be able to do that if he was mad. And spirit made him punch the wall minutes ago.

So I looked Eddie in the eyes, seeing hope there. Hope for letting go? He had no idea how much I wanted that. But Adrian needed me. Destroying my life by conffesing what I felt could wait.

"Let me help him," I whispered. Eddie watched me for a second longer and let go. I ran out of the room, my heart breaking.

I ran into the hallway. As I already knew, Adrian was on the floor, looking into his mobile phone.

I gently touched his shoulder, knowing how much he wanted to see Sydney instead.

"Adrian," I whispered gently as I sat down beside him, "It's okay. I'm here now. Let me take a part of your burden."

He nodded and closed his eyes, letting it all leak through the bond. I closed my eyes again, preparing for the coldness and the darkness and insanity. And it slowly came, filling me completely. God, with what he coped? This was so intense.

But it helped him. He opened his eyes, squinting at how bright it was. And it was so dark for me... I had to sleep it off. I was so tired of fighting myself, the darkness, everything.

Not wanting for Adrian to see me like this, I hugged him and tried to reassure him everything would be okay. "It'll be okay, Adrian. You know that Sydney always has good reasons for what she does," I whispered. Founding my strenght, I continued, "And except her, you are the most responsible, mature and amazing person I know. You are wonderful. And Sydney loves you. And you are going to go home now and wait until tonight. She'll be there." I kissed my cheek. "And make that dinner she asked for," I remembered suddenly and I smiled, knowing everything would be okay with those two. They were madly in love with each other.

"I love you, Jailbait," Adrian said and hugged me. It made me want to cry. "I just hope you know how to cope with the darkness better than me."

I nodded and he kissed my forehead. I'd break down soon, I knew. We got up, said our goodbyes and I walked straight to my room.

I didn't even make to the door when the tears started. I was consumed in this mental pain and torture. I just wanted to lie down and sleep forever. First there was Lee, then Micah and now Eddie. Why did I always fall in love with guys that I couldn't have? Lee was a psychopath, Micah a human and Eddie... I sighed, surpressing a sob. Eddie was perfect. He had that hair that made me want to pull my fingers through it and never stop doing that. He was older than me and as tall as I was and that was fantastic. I could always look into those beautiful brown eyes without causing suspicion. And God, his body. Those muscles, that tan, that everything. He was... An angel. And I was a too skinny, too pale, too tall vampire princess that belonged nowhere. I was just a burden for him. He probably hated it here.

I sobbed harder. Why did everything have to be so hard? Why couldn't we be happy like Sydney and Adrian? Why couldn't at least Eddie be happy?

"Jill," Eddie said my name like it was made of silk, torturing me. He entered the room slowly and stood there awkwardly and beautifully, making me ask myself why haven't I locked the door. Spirit was already taking control of me, but I decided to burst in that moment. I snapped.

"Could you at least stop pretending for one single moment?" I yelled, feeling the darkness in my body. "Could you cut the act and tell me that you don't care? And that your higher sense of duty or something makes you enter this room while I'm in this state? Could you just go away and do what you want and leave me here to be miserable alone?" I yelled and yelled and finally stopped to breathe.

Eddie was looking at me with his guardian face, so I decided to speak. Silence hurt more. I got up and started walking towards him. I looked like a witch with my tear-stroken face, ruined makeup, mascara all over my face, ruffled hair and flushed cheeks, but guess what? I didn't care. Spirit was making me angry. And I directed that anger towards Eddie.

"You hate being my guardian, don't you?" I said and pointed at him with a finger. "You hate guarding this teenage girl that acts like a baby and can't handle anything. And you hate the fact that I'm a princess. But you still do it because you want to be Dimitri, and Dimitri would protect me."

I was breathing hard by then and I noticed that Eddie was too. We stood there, looking at each other, not doing anything.

Until Eddie gripped my wrists hard and pushed me to the wall, hard. He came to me and I was pinned between the wall and him, my wrists in his hands above my head, trying to move away and free myself. It made me angry even more, feeling powerless.

"Would you stop for a second?" Eddie said loudly. "First, you are not miserable. Then, I don't hate being your guardian. Being close to you is wonderful. Then, you don't act a baby and you can handle much. Then, I hate the fact that Moroi want to hurt you and that they already did once because of me. And you are not too tall, too skinny or too pale. No dhampir can match your beauty. Ever," Eddie continued. How did he know this? Spirit didn't let me think.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Eddie! Don't you dare think that I can't handle the truth," I growled.

Something flashed in Eddie's eyes. "You can handle the truth? Handle this," he said and...

And pushed himself to me and... And touched his lips to mine. At least it started like that. He was in full-control since my hands were tied. Literally. And it was the best kiss I have ever had. Probably because it happened with the man I dream about and about who I'm crazy about.

His lips were so soft and careful, yet he kissed me with such strenght. He slowly released my wrists and his hands started roaming my body - my hair, my face, then my arms, my waist. He settled them there and pulled me even closer, if possible. I pulled my fingers trough his hair - something I dreamed about - and he growled into my mouth. I smiled. He did love it.

Meanwhile, I was trying to stay in track. Was this spirit? Was I dreaming? Was this really happening? I tried to kiss him back gently, but I just couldn't. I wanted this for too long. I was all worked up because of spirit and I didn't want to hold back. Not anymore.

Eddie picked me up in one effortless motion, and still kissing me, lay me down on the same bed I cried on minutes ago. There he propped up on his hands not to crush me with his weight and I decided to take the charge.

I pushed him and rolled us until I was on top of him, my legs on either side of him. He put his hands on my back and pulled me closer.

And it was wonderful while it lasted. We had to pause because humans, dhampirs and Moroi had to breathe.

"Jill," Eddie sighed, smiling.

"Eddie," I whispered, also smiling. "For how long?"

"Since I saw you die," Eddie said, pain visible on his face. "You were so beautiful... I couldn't live, knowing I failed you. I swore to protect you."

I lay down beside him and put my head on his chest. "I love you Eddie. I should've figured it out earlier."

Eddie laughed. "Knowing you love me... It's a miracle. And you just wish you realised it sooner?" He shook his head and kissed the side of my head, above the ear, then the ear itself. "I'd just kiss you and kiss you and..."

"Be my guest," I said quickly and wrapped my fingers around the collar of his shirt.

Eddie grinned and soon I learned just how sensible my neck was.


	21. Chapter 5, part six: Mine

**Author's note:** _I'm back! I have a headache but it's better now._

_Bukwurm13, this was your suggestion. I hope you'll love it. I love it._

_Attention for those who are looking for any continuation of the story - this is total, pure Sydrian! There isn't even anything happening :D_

_Those of you waiting for Zeil, it will be in the next chapter! I promise!_

_As always, I'm mentioning:_

_1. HopperIvashkinator. Number One. Thank her for the existance of this story. I love her the most._

_2. KeepCalmAndDream. She touched my heart with her review. Thank her for the existance of so many chapters. I love her._

_3. TheHappyLol. She reads even though she's out of popcorn! Thank her for the existance of Lily. I love her._

_4. CherrySlushLover. Always pointing to ridiculous and embarrasing mistakes. Thank her for existance of Zeil. I love her._

_5. Miss MegatronIvashkov. Always cheerful and reviewing. Thank her for my cheerfulness! I love her._

_6. MilankaLovesMetal. My crazy devoted reviewing girl. Thank her for my slight craziness. I love her._

_7. Sam1405. She makes me talk so much. Thank her for the lenght of my chapters. I love her._

_8. damonforever86. She just started reading and I plan on stealing her ideas. Thank her for the awesome storyline. I love her._

_9. Totalbooknerd13. She ALWAYS REVIEWS. Thank her for the number of the reviews above the summary. I love her._

_10. sydney ivashkov. She has a wonderful username and reviews. Thank her when I make Sydney change her surname in the story. I love her._

_11. Lilietje99. She is so polite. Thank her for my politeness and mentioning you all. I love her._

_You're all girls, right? :D_

_So, review no matter if you have a profile or not. Give me ideas. Ask. Tell. Request. Anything._

_And yeah, I'll do chapter 22 in Jill's POV too! I liked it too much. I'm giving you more Jeddie BUT this is important for the storyline too :)_

_Yeah, unfortunately Richelle Mead owns these wonderful characters._

_Let's go in Adrian's head, finally! :D_

* * *

As it turned out, it already became hell for Sydney.

I heard some weird sounds in front of the apartment and when I opened the front door to see what was going on, I found that this morning for me suddenly became... Heaven.

Sydney, only in my shirt, was under the hood of her car, and my shirt had lifted from her knees because she was bending forward, and I knew that I probably wouldn't see that much of her legs any time soon. So I stood there for a few seconds, while she growled, all mushed up in oil, her hands totaly dirty.

"Is there a way to help this beautiful half-naked blonde?" I finally said, trying to bury the alpha-side of me that wanted to drag her back into the house. Be reasonable, Adrian. And a gentleman. "I mean, I don't mind, but we should move this to the bedroom. I'm not exactly comfortable with the fact that every man in the neighborhood can see you like that." I raised an eyebrow as Sydney turned around. And yeah, her front was even dirtier than her back. And hotter. Her hair was sticky on her cheeks, her face flushed, oil all over her face, arms and even visible on my black shirt.

"I'm not half-naked," she said and then looked down, seeing that the shirt was almost on her waist. She quickly pulled it down while I was screaming, "No!" in my mind, and she blushed.

"I am invisible to everyone except to you," she said shyly as she turned back to her car.

"Then you can take it off completely," I said and smirked.

"Adrian!" Sydney said as she slammed the hood back down.

I chuckled and raised my hands, saying, "You can't blame the man for trying."

She rolled her eyes. "So, I am that lucky. My dear Latte broke. He was never the same ever since Alicia put a spell on him." she said, gently touching the car's hood, watching it like a piece of meat.

"I didn't know he was a guy," I said, grinning. "So you love him more than the Mustang?"

"The Ivashkinator and I have a special relationship," Sydney said and giggled.

I slowly came closer as I said through a laugh, "A special relationship? Is that so?"

"Yes," she said fiercely, grinning. "You know, he's my boyfriend's car."

I was her boyfriend now? Her boyfriend? So it was official now?

I grinned like a crazy man, put my hands on her waist, only my own shirt between my hands and her skin, and I started pulling her towards me.

I whispered near her ear, "So you'd leave him if he didn't have the car?"

Sydney trembled in my hands, and giggled. "Definitely."

And she kissed my neck. "Since you are invisible," I growled in her ear and picked her up like she was a feather.

She obviously wasn't going to leave this apartment any time soon.

"Okay. Zoe is going to kill me anyway. Here comes the plan - we call the towing service, you pick me up in your car, I say that I was with Ms. Terwilliger. Jill brings me clothes before Zoe sees me." Sydney said, lying next to me in my bed, looking me in the eyes with that scientific look of hers.

"I love it when you start being all bossy," I whispered as I touched her cheek with my nose.

"And I am going to take a shower now since, if you didn't notice by now, I'm all dirty and covered in oil." She got up and I had one last look at her dirty body before I threw my head into the pillows. "You are torturing me. Go."

Sydney laughed.

And after an hour of straightening and combing her hair, Sydney and I were ready. The towing service had already taken her car to a service.

We left Hopper and Lily, who were still asleep, breakfast in the kitchen. Sydney kissed their heads and we left.

"Don't be so nervous, Sage," I said as I watched her. She was now wearing my blue button-up shirt and she was tapping with her fingers on the console.

"How will I ever be able to look Jill in the eyes? Look what I'm wearing!" she said and put her head in her hands.

"Do I need to remind you that Jill is my bondmate and that she knows what happened? And that she's like my sister, so that her job is to understand things like this?"

Sydney sighed and looked me in the eyes, making me flinch. "I am frustrated. But you are worth it. Now drive, or I will," she said and smiled.

I turned the radio on. Jesus is our saviour on the first frequency. No, thank you. Justin Bieber on the second. No, thank you. Some country song on the third. No, thank you. Is there some rock song somewhere? I'd love to hear Eye of the tiger...

But Sydney started screaming. "Go back, go back! I love that song!"

I made a face. She listened to country?

But I also knew the song. I didn't like Taylor Swift, but this song was popular. And it was just beginning.

Sydney immediately started to sing and I raised an eyebrow, grinning. "You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables," she sang. If this was about me, only the first lyric was okay. These hands didn't do manual labor.

But I was silent, actually hearing this song for the first time. And I was still driving, but my mind was on auto-pilot.

"Left a small town, never looked back," Sydney continued. "I was a flight risk, with a fear of falling, wondering why we bother with love," and she looked me in the eyes, "If it never lasts."

"That's for damn sure," I muttered but she was already on the next line.

"I say, 'Can you believe it?', as we're lying on the couch." and she smiled, "The moment - I could see it... Yes, yes. I can see it now." Sydney sang. She didn't have the best voice on the planet, but in that moment her voice was the most beautiful thing in the universe.

But she continued, oblivious to my thoughts. "Do you remember, we were sitting there, by the water; you put your arm around me for the first time."

"You mean when I took you to that pool long ago?" I said, grinning.

She smiled and nodded. "You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

"Now I understand why you love the song." I chuckled and shook my head, but Sydney shushed me and hit me in the arm.

"Flash forward and we're taking on the world together, and there's a drawer of my things at your place," she sang.

"There is?" I said as I raised an eyebrow and looked at her.

She raised her eyebrows and giggled. "You learn my secrets and you figured out why I'm guarded. You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes."

"Okay, that makes sense." I said in defeat. How could have I never heard the lyrics before?

"But we've got bills to pay, we got nothing figured out," Sydney continued, "When it was hard to take... Yes, yes, this is what I thought about."

And she sang the chorus again. This song painfully reminded me of us. And what came next... Even more.

"Do you remember all the city lights on the water? You saw me start to believe for the first time," Sydney continued.

"Actually, I don't," I said and she rolled her eyes.

"You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, you are the best thing that's ever been mine." God, I loved that line. I made her a rebel? And she knows I am hers?

"And I remember that fight, 2:30 AM, you said everything was slipping right out of our hands. I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street," Sydney sang in a lower voice, looking at me.

"Braced myself for the goodbye," she almost talked and I suddenly realised she was thinking about Mexico, "'Cause that's all I've ever known. Then you took me by surprise - you said 'I'll never leave you alone'," she sang, her voice becoming lower, her gaze piercing through my soul.

Thankfully, the traffic light was red, so I stopped the car and pulled her closer. I would have stopped this car even if we were in the middle of a New York street. Or a highway. The only thing I cared about were the next lyrics.

"You said," she started in a near-whisper but I put my finger on her lips. I put my other hand on her lower back and continued.

"I remember how we felt sitting by the water," I sang an octave lower. "And every time I look at you, it's like the first time." Sydney put her hands on my chest and pulled my shirt to her. My lips were now a breath away from hers, but I wanted to finish. I had to.

"I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter," I sang in a low voice. "And she is not a thing," I said, "But she is mine," I whispered and kissed her hungrily, with an intensity I've never, ever kissed anyone. I didn't even know I possessed that strenght.

That hand on Sydney's lower back pulled her over the stick and everything and in a second she was on my lap. She put her hands in my hair, making me growl while still kissed her. I put my hands under the shirt and touched her bare spine, making her shiver.

It was like a scene from a movie, really. The traffic light turned green and we were blocking other cars that were already starting with making noises. And like two crazy persons, Sydney and I were kissing in my car. Taylor Swift was just finishing the song, so I kissed Sydney even harder, knowing the moment would end soon.

And it did - we pulled away to breathe just when the song finished. We were both grinning.

"Taylor," I whispered as I kissed her neck.

"Jet," she whispered back, but it came out as a moan.

Yeah, that was good. I suddenly loved Taylor Swift and country music. And if it was possible, I loved this car more. And everything. Hell could wait for a couple more minutes.


	22. Chapter 5, part six B: How It Was Before

**Author's note:** _Hey guys! This will probably be a long one._

_This chapter will also be in Jill's POV. I've been trying to fit the next tweet into Adrian's POV but I just don't know how to do it. Richelle Mead knows :D_

_Who gets a mention, who gets a mention? My fellow supporters: HopperIvashkinator, CherrySlushLover, TheHappyLol, KeepCalmAndDream, damonforever86, Sam1405, MilankaLovesMetal, Miss MegatronIvashkov, Totalbooknerd13, Lilietje99, Bukwurm13 (so glad you liked the last chapter!), sydney ivashkov (thank you so much, you're reviewing properly!), KateIvashkovLovesSoufless (hello, new reviewer, and thanks for the support!), rebelde09 (welcome back!), pixie's (thank you so much!), rose (amazing, as always!), .5 (hello there, new reviewer!)..._

_And Starnight11. So, I'm not sure how to write this since her review is the first one that wasn't purely supportative, but also criticism. I want to notify everyone who don't know it, that my native language isn't English. I make mistakes. And for those who believe that this will be pure fluff with no plot, you are wrong! But I'm having a hard time letting the happy parts go, so blame me. Things will already get complicated in the next chapters and action is coming soon. Criticism is also welcome! I don't deceive myself with thinking that everyone love my story. I just try to do my best at loving the people. So, Starnight11, thank you too for trying to be realistic and for this enormous review. I hope you see things differently after reading my response, but if not, it's okay! :)_

_She also told me that I got several facts wrong, so when I get the computer access, Sydney won't have Latte and instead of saying how Jill feels about him, Adrian will advise Eddie to tell her and he'll do it! :D_

_To all my supporters, thank you and I love you. You see now how much your support really means to me. :)_

_I also have the urge to mention that this review + the release of TFH, chapter one (which I can't read on my phone! Could someone do a copy-paste or print screen or something? I am frustrated!) made my self-confidence lower. I feel like I've done this totally wrong and that this'll be funny when TFH comes out. But then I remember how many people love this, take a deep breath, take my phone in my hands and start typing. It'll be okay, I hope. And I won't let you down, even though I have a writer's block of something. So thank you, so much more. I hope you won't hate this after you read the real chapter._

_All the characters belong to the fantastic Richelle Mead! :D_

* * *

**Jill's POV**

I sighed. This couldn't go on anymore. I needed help.

And before I could stop myself, a voice answered my phone call. A very familiar voice that belonged to the person I hated for a while because I constantly heard that name in my head.

"Hello?" Rose said, her voice wary, sounding a little strained, too high.

"Rose," I choked on the name. My palms were sweating and my hands were cold. I breathed too hard and too shallow. This conversation was going to be very hard, very awkward and very neccesary.

"Are you okay, Jill?" Rose asked, probably already calling a hundred guardians to come save me. I smiled. But how could I like her? Adrian loved her! This was a betrayal!

I took a deep breath. Those were Adrian's thoughts. He doesn't even have them anymore. He's over her. And you, Jill, need her help. So you might as well get it over with.

"Everything is fine, Rose," I said too quickly, my voice sounding like a baby's. "I just called to ask you a question."

"Shoot," Rose immediately said and then laughed. "Okay, that was too harsh," she said and I rolled my eyes. "What is it, Jill?" she asked so carefully that I had to bite my lower lip. How could you not like her, Jill? She is a good person. It's not her fault that she fell in love with Dimitri, and not with Adrian. And that was good, since she is the main reason he met Sydney.

So I laughed too, but probably a bit too late. "Rose, I... I just don't know anyone else with who I could talk about the bond."

I tried to be as nonchalant about it as I could, but the silence that followed wasn't pleasant at all.

"He seemed fine at the wedding," Rose finally said in a low tone. "I thought he was actually doing fine." She paused for a moment. "Except for making Sydney dance with him in front of everyone. Seriously, what did he try with that?" Oh no. I started sweating again. Not the Sydney-territory. I wasn't a convincing liar. And I rambled. I'd have to be very careful. If Rose found out, she would kill as all. I mean, she was scandalous and everything, but race mix-up? I would have been disgusted too if I didn't experience it myself. It was like any love, really. There wasn't anything disgusting in Sydney and Adrian together. That was... Natural. Inevitable.

"Jill? You there?" Rose asked, her voice suspicious and concerned.

"I was just remembering it," I said, various that my voice trembled a little and praying that Rose didn't hear it.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. It's as if looking at a memory through a mist. Very hard. But I suppose it makes sense, since it's not your memory." So, we're out of Sydney-territory. Hopefully, we would stay out of it. But probably not.

I sighed. "Exactly. Rose, I..." I hesitated, feeling as if I had a fever. "I have problems with keeping the block up. Adrian pulls me in too much."

Rose was silent for a second. Then she took a deep breath and said in a very harsh voice, "If he's done something..."

I put my hand on my forehead and interrupted her, "No, Rose! Why is everyone's first conclusion that he's done something?"

Rose wasn't shaken up. "Then why is he constantly pulling you in?"

"He's in love," I said automatically before I could stop myself and immediately clasped a hand over my mouth. God, Jill. Did you just have to do that? Adrian will kill you! But Rose had to help me.

"Wow," Rose said before I started to talk a hundred miles per hour. I could feel my already abnormal heartbeats increase in speed. Now I needed to calm down and get myself out of this.

"I didn't call to talk about Adrian." I felt as if I've run a marathon. Unfortunately, I was speaking like that as well. My attempts at taking deep breaths turned out as gasps and my voice sounded muffled. Rose wasn't a fool, she'd get that this love was serious. But I knew I had to protect him. So I continued. "I called because I slip into his head while I'm not in most comfortable situations. And no, Rose," I said sharply when she tried to interrupt, "I don't want to elaborate on that." It couldn't be painful to sting her a little, right?

Rose turned into... Rose-mode. She started speaking in her gossip-girl, high, dangerous and very interested tone. "I am sorry, Jill, but I want to know more."

I raised my eyebrow, even though we weren't having a video-call. And thank God for that. "About being pulled into Adrian's head?" I asked uncertainly.

Rose laughed. And yes, I kind of missed that laugh. It reminded me of the time when I wasn't a princess. When my dad was my dad, my real dad. When my mom wasn't Eric Dragomir's lover. When I loved Rose. And when I... Had a crush on Adrian. It seemed silly - he was like a brother to me. But at that time, he was the most handsome guy in the universe. And he still is, alongside Eddie.

Yeah. Eddie. The reason I called Rose in the first place.

I tuned into the conversation. Rose was currently talking about food, of course, her only valid distraction. "And a big portion of French fries..." She paused for a second. "Jill, are you even listening to me?"

"Yes," I said too quickly. God, I was nervous. That was okay, but acting like this... Like a two-year old, it was out of line. I drew in a deep breath. "Rose, I need your help. I was in a situation..." and I smiled, remembering how it felt to be in Eddie's arms, melting while being that close to him, being where I always wanted to be. I coughed, continuing. "And Adrian had strong emotions that sucked me in. It was so... Awkward and confusing. To just stop while doing something." And my heart started to beat faster while I remembered what that 'something' was. Kissing Eddie's soft lips, touching that infuriatingly soft hair of his, making his guardian mask melt and his emotions come to the surface... And then freezing for minutes, having a blank, distant look in the eyes, making Eddie think I went mad. Yeah, awesome, being shadow-kissed and all and witnessing Adrian and Sydney kissing in the Mustang on the road. But it was romantic! Eddie and I had to try that.

While I was thinking, Rose was making growly sounds and she sighed. "You need to build a mental block. Focus yourself on something that will make you stay in your own body. If you still get pulled in, fight it. Remember that you are Jill, not Adrian. I think it's even easier since he's a male and you're a female." She said this in a few seconds, not pausing to breathe.

She took a shallow breath. "Now tell me about the girl! Do you know her? Does she look like me? Are they together for long?" she practically screamed. Yeah, that was Rose. No small talk, straight to the point.

I laughed. She couldn't guess, but I could tease her a little. Make her jealous of Sydney. "Yes, no and no," I carefully said.

Rose squeaked, probably of happiness. Then she caught her breath. "Wait. That means he's over me?" She squeaked again. "I must know who she is! Do I know her?"

At that, I stopped in track. To lie, or not to lie? To protect, or not to protect Adrian?

I laughed, but it was more of a hysteric laugh. "Um, no. She is just a Moroi from L. A."

Rose's voice was strained when she answered. "Yeah, I don't know fancy L. A. Moroi. His parents probably approve." So, she was jealous. But really, I didn't blame her. Everyone loved Adrian and wanted him only for himself.

And oh, little did she know of their meeting. Adrian's parents would definitely not approve.

I laughed again. "I guess. She didn't meet them yet."

Rose was silent for several seconds. When she finally spoke, I realised she was remembering something. "I guess he really did move on then, right? That's good. Now I can feel less guilty." Her voice sounded nostalgic, if not sad. Now she knew a bit about pain. And being betrayed, even though Adrian didn't betray her. He betrayed her possessivenes.

"I am so glad he is happy," I said honestly. "She is good for him. He doesn't act like a child anymore." I smiled. Sydney really did change Adrian. She pulled him out of the dark pit he drowned himself in and held him close. And I knew that now she wouldn't let go. They'd do anything and everything for each other. And that was good. Sydney would keep my brother safe. And he'd do the same.

"I'm happy too," Rose said in a strained voice. "I guess I just..." she sighed. "I just thought he'd never get over me."

And just like that, those feelings were gone. She went into crazy-Rose mode and I knew we'd be friends again. "What about you, Jill? Everything okay there among palms? Except the bond problems, of course."

I laughed. "The palms give me some shade, so it"s not a problem."

Rose laughed too. "That's a good thing. Boys?"

Lee's face flashed in my eyes and something in my chest tightened. Then I remembered Eddie, his whisper in my ear, his smell, his taste.

"I'll take that as a 'Yes'." Rose was almost laughing. "Want to talk about it?"

I frowned. Should I tell her about Eddie? How would she take it? Would she have the urge to kill him?

"No," I said too loudly.

"Thank God," Rose said with a laugh. "So, you will be okay there?" she asked, concern evident in her voice.

"Yeah," I said, suddenly feeling shy. This was Rose, after all, the queen's guardian, fierce dhampir girl. "It was nice talking to you, Rose," I whispered.

There was relief in his voice. "It's nice to have you back, Jillian. Take care."

I nodded. "You too."

And the call ended, leaving me lying in the bed, my phone on my chest, looking at the ceiling and wondering if things can ever get back to how they used to be a year ago. Eternity ago.


	23. Chapter 6, part one: Sisters

**Author's note:** _Hello everyone!_

_I noted that I got less reviews, but this was steamy. I want to avoid fights, so guys please, review just the chapters, not other reviews! It was not what I meant and wanted. I wanted to tell the non-reviewers why I make some mistakes, not point at a person and have others defend me. It is okay, criticizm is good - it helped me. Seriously!_

_This time I mention: HopperIvashkinator, KeepCalmAndDream, CherrySlushLover, Totalbooknerd13, TheHappyLol, damonforever86, Starnight11 and Bukwurm13 (since you don't have a profile, I'll answer here: you just solved a major problem for me! I didn't know what to do about that!). Guys, thank you so much for your mile-long reviews and kind words. I seriously didn't know this story was so important to you._

_I must mention that I didn't read chapter one yet, but a friend told me about it! Divorce is in this chapter, coven will come soon, I didn't forget about Hopper and Lily too! And I must say that I will disappoint you with Jeddie too, but I have to make things similar to that chapter._

_And, do we have a bombshell here? I bet you didn't expect that :D_

_Okay, enough talk. Welcome back to Sydney's head! Hope you like it! :)_

* * *

Jill somehow managed to bring me clothes, I somehow managed to change and bring up the courage to face Eddie, Zoe and everyone. Eddie was suspicious, but said nothing. His eyes just narrowed as I told my Ms. Terwilliger story. Neil raised an eyebrow, making me want to punch him in the face. Angeline, of course, was nowhere to be seen and Zoe... She was furious. In front of everyone, she started yelling at me as if I was a child that came home late and she was the worried mom.

"How could you just disappear, without a phonecall or a text, or anything?" her child-like voice echoed through the house. "I wanted to call the police and the Alchemists! I thought they abducted you and drained your blood! And you were driving around with one of them!" And she groaned, put her arms in the air, turned around and left.

Phew. I survived that. Now I needed to get myself out of it. Staying at Adrian's apartment was obviously a horrible mistake, and I didn't intend on having Zoe breathe down my neck. But I knew I'd have to endure that. How did I become this irresponsible girl? It was almost as if Brayden was actually right about me. But he was right about me and my family too, so I knew I had to follow Zoe upstairs. She was the enemy, technically, but she was also my sister. And I loved her.

But I was still surprised when she opened the door when I knocked. Her mask melted when she saw my apologizing face and she just sighed, moving so that I could enter.

I didn't exactly know what I felt in that moment. I was still happy because of Adrian and the beautiful relationship we had. I was still terrified, expecting Abe and the Alchemists to take me away. I was still scared that my sister had an affair with a dhampir, but even though Adrian firmly believed in that theory, I wasn't quite sure. Zoe was very different from me, but to disappoint dad like that? While her older sister told her she wanted her re-assigned? It must have been horrible for her too. And I was too hard on her. I knew I had to make it right.

"We need to talk," I said as I sat down on Zoe's bed. She was wearing a very Alchemist outfit - black trousers, beige blouse, no jewelery, minimal make-up, her golden lily covered by layers of it. The only thing that was out of line was her hair, that was wild - and that was a hard thing to accomplish. I also noted that she was biting her fingernails. Was she worried, or just nervous?

She nodded, but didn't sit down. I had to look at her as if she was much, much taller than me. "I am sorry," I said simply.

"About what?" she asked, obviously surprised.

I took a deep breath. "About everything." And I hurried to elaborate before I changed my mind. "Since you came, all I tried was to scare you. I threw you into the wolf's liar, expecting of you to handle it. I left you alone in the house that looks as if Dracula lives in it," Zoe almost smiled at that, "all by yourself. I didn't take care of you - I simply pretended you weren't even here. I got angry whenever you made mistakes, even the smallest ones. I am supposed to teach you. That is not a way to treat a person, let alone my own sister." I sighed. I've been holding my hands together, gripping one another tightly and my knuckles were becoming white. I didn't even realise how nervous I felt and how honest my words were. Zoe wasn't the enemy, I reminded myself. The Alchemists were.

While I was thinking, Zoe's face totally changed. Surprise, relief and finally happiness flashed across her face. She smiled and sat down next to me, putting her arms around me. "My sister is back," she said, almost squeaking. "She isn't corrupted by the evil creatures, she is just stressed out." She started laughing and I did too, even though her words pierced through my heart. Was I really corrupted? But that 'stressed out' part was correct.

"Okay. Now that we solved that, I have a very important question to ask you, Zoe." I turned towards her and saw determination in her eyes as she nodded. I also noted that her hands were shaking. So she was hiding something from me? Ah. I'd given so much to be able to read auras in that moment. To know if she was going to lie.

"What is going on between you and the new guardian - Neil?" She started to interrupt, but I put a hand in front of me. "And don't deny it. I've heard him talk with you in your room. Did you fail to notice that he's a dhampir?" I raised an eyebrow and like that, she was in the corner. She couldn't run from a direct question like this.

She blushed. My 15-year old sister was in front of me, her mouth half-open, her expression shocked, her cheeks blushing because of mentioning of a dhampir guardian. "I, I-" she stammered. "I needed him for something," she finally said.

"Would you care to elaborate?" I felt my voice rising. And panic was rising in me too. Please, give me an explanation. Please, Zoe.

"I didn't want to sadden you, since you're stressed out..." Zoe said in a near-whisper, turning away from me. Dear God, what happened? Was she okay?

"What is wrong? Are you sick?" I immediately asked, searching her hands for cuts or burns, and trying not to be confused as to what could Neil have to do with that.

"No," Zoe said with a small laugh. "No, I am fine. But mom and dad aren't."

I immediately got up. "Zoe, if you don't tell me what is going on right now..."

Zoe finally looked into my eyes. "They are going to divorce, Sydney."

"What?" I said, sure that I looked pale. "But... How?"

I sat back on the bed, looking at the floor. I didn't have the energy to even breathe anymore. Mom and dad... They always fought, but divorce? I never expected that.

"It seems that me becoming an Alchemist was the last drop for mom," Zoe said quietly. "How can she leave dad? How can she do this to us?" she said with fierceness, her hands forming fists in her lap, her whole body trembling. "Why is it such a big deal having both of us as Alchemists? Why can't she accept that?"

My dear Zoe. My little sister. She'd follow dad to hell and back. She never saw anything bad in him, and I didn't blame her. Jared saved all of the kindness and fatherly affection he had for her. I felt tight in my chest and I knew I was jealous. Jealous that Zoe was praised while doing nothing. Jealous that Zoe had a father. Jealous that he didn't torture her mentally and that she couldn't see we were just a tool for him. Or maybe just I was. And she couldn't see that this was Jared's fault - mom made it clear she'd do this if Zoe became an Alchemist. Mom made it clear she hated this. And he didn't care.

"I won't pick sides, Zoe," I said gently. She was still angry, and I didn't want to feel that anger. "But you are underage. You might have to."

She turned towards me, fire blazing in her eyes, but her eyes shining. Tears and fierceness. It was kind of glorious, even if it was wrong and pointless. "I don't even have to choose. I already know whose side I'm on."

I shook my head, knowing I couldn't change her opinion and deciding to just comfort her. I hugged her to me and she started crying, becoming just my little sister. She wasn't an Alchemist anymore, even for a minute. And I instantly felt better, so I just started pulling my fingers through her hair, soothing her.

"I still don't understand what Neil has to do with that," I said after she calmed down a bit.

"He offered to investigate," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "He saw me cry and I told him since you weren't there and he brings me news every night." She sniffed.

I was totally confused. "Just that? Nothing else?"

Zoe pulled away to look at me. Even after crying, with reddish eyes, she looked absolutely beautiful. "Of course not. What is there to be?"

I kept my face blank, but she knew the way of my thinking. She narrowed her eyes. "You didn't think that we..."

And then she laughed. "Of course no! God, no, Sydney!" She rolled her eyes and something heavy lifted from my chest when I started laughing too.

But then Zoe pushed herself back until she was lying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip, but she was still smiling. "But that Moroi... He is so, so handsome! Like a prince from a novel!"

And that stone fell on my chest again. Last time she said Adrian was handsome I had a fight with him. "Again with that?" I said, exasperated. "He is a vampire, Zoe! How can you compare him to a prince?" I was losing my temper again and I was very still on the bed.

"I think I'm in love," she whispered.

My sister was in love with my boyfriend, who was 7 years older than her and, oh, who was a vampire. No need to be jealous, to lose my temper, to lose my conciousnesr, to get angry, to panic... No problem at all.

I got up. "If you don't stop with this, I will notify the Alchemists."

Zoe rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Just joking, sis."

"Well, it's not funny," I said harshly and slammed the door shut behind me.

I closed my eyes, leaning against the cold hallway door. I lost my temper. And Zoe was just joking. But if Adrian just looked at her... She wasn't fat. She had prettier eyes and her hair didn't look like a nest. She wasn't a nerd, she was talkative and she was a million times more beautiful than I was.

But what was wrong with me? She was 15. Just a child. And Adrian loved me completely. He knew how important and dangerous this was. I took a few deep breaths, reassuring myself everything was okay.

And then my phone notified me I had a new message. I grinned, thinking it was Adrian.

But the message was from an unknown number.  
It said, "Need to meet. Text me the time and the place.  
-MF"

At first I thought it was a mistake. I didn't know anyone with a surname beginning with an F. At least nobody that was currently in the USA.

But I knew someone who wasn't supposed to be here. Someone who was supposed to be in hiding now.

Marcus Finch.


	24. Danger, Too Much Fluff!

**Author's note:** _Book 5 has a title. It has a title. That means Richelle is writing it and knows what's going to happen. It has a title! I think I'm going to swoon._

_Guys, I'm extremely sorry for not updating earlier. Having a fight with my brother really made me sad and I just didn't have the eagerness to finish the chapter. I hope to write 2 updates today :)_

_Now, about the chapter itself. It has nothing to do with the plot, but TheHappyLol asked for it and she most definitely deserved it. Writing chapter one of TFH in a PM helped me to decide if I should write this :D_

_So you can just skip this if you want to read about Marcus. But if you want fluff and cuteness, go ahead._

_And I need to mention that Lily belongs to TheHappyLol :)_

_I also need to mention:_  
_-HopperIvashkinator from the beautiful Sweden,_  
_-TheHappyLol from the beautiful Sweden,_  
_-Sam1405 from the wonderful USA,_  
_-rebelde09 from the wonderful USA,_  
_-Totalbooknerd13 from the wonderful USA,_  
_-digifreak15 from the wonderful USA,_  
_-damonforever86 from the wonderful USA,_  
_-Lilietje99 from the awesome Belgium,_  
_-CherrySlushLover from the amazing UK,_  
_-sydney ivashkov from somewhere on our Earth,_  
_-KeepCalmAndDream that probably didn't tell me where she's from - how dare you! :D,_  
_-rose, probably not from Bosnia,_  
_-Bukwurm13, my guess is USA._

_I love you. I am in the same time zone as Sweden? And UK is just an hour away :D The rest needs to know that it's 12 AM here and that I hope to update twice until 11 PM :)_

_Here comes the fluff! Thank you, and love you all!_

* * *

**Adrian's POV**

After dropping Sydney off, praying she would manage everything on her own, I started the car and drove off.

I stopped at a shop and bought paint - yellow and purple, of course, red, black and blue (for her dresses) and brown, for her eyes.

It did cost much since I never bought cheap paint, but I was very satisfied with my choice and I (still) had enough money to buy it. I had an assignment at college, and I planned on trying to put my flame in the dark on the easel.

I unlocked the door to the apartment. It looked awfully empty without Sydney. It erased the grin on my face, seeing how dark everything looked. If I could see a glimpse of that golden hair, everything would be all right.

Okay. Back to reality. I put my paints on the table and opened the bedroom door, wanting to admire my sheets and remember Sydney wrapped in them, waking up, sun making her look like she's made of gold. But... What I found there was terrifying.

The sheets were pulled off the bed, half on the ground. The pillows were also on the ground. The room was in chaos - nothing was where it was supposed to be. The lamp almost fell of the nightstand. My wardrobe door was open and there were clothes on the ground.

"What the hell..." I muttered in surprise, but then something caught my eye.

Pie, or what was left of it. On the floor. This could mean only one thing:

My children weren't dragons. They were vandalistic demons.

Following the noises coming from the wardrobe, I slowly and soundlessly came closer to it. And there were the vandals - their tails swinging, both of them squealing a little. Their claws, bodies - and faces - were too close to each other. God, the dragons were kissing. Or at least trying to do it. They were in a nice, warm pile of my shirts, hugging and cuddling and making out. There were bits of pie near them.

I stood in the doorway, not sure what to do. They overdid it. They were going to clean this mess. I was going to try and disciplinate them. I was going to be the responsible dad. But could I be that? I knew I took all of this too seriously, but I didn't want to be like Nathan Ivashkov. Or Jared Sage. Or the old Adrian Ivashkov, who cared only about himself.

Not sure what to do, I just sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

Hopper and Lily came to a halt. Hopper stood up - actually, he just rolled around until he was on his legs - and squeaked, running towards me. Lily was shocked for a second longer, but then she mimicked Hopper's squeak and ran towards me.

"No. You can't redempt yourself with 'Daddy' act this time," I said strictly and shook my head.

But I still smiled when Hopper tripped on a shirt and fell. It was taking them forever to come! I laughed and sat down on my knees. As soon as Hopper got up (by rolling around) they continued running and squeaking until they both jumped at me and pinned my back to the floor.

Damn, these dragons were strong. Did they find steroids or something?

"With what do I feed you?" I said aloud as they came to my face and started squeaking. My ears hurt.

"You know I don't speak Dragonish," I said, putting my hands over my ears and making a face. They immediately stopped.

"Okay. Good dragons," I said and tapped their heads. "Now tellme." I looked them in the eyes, trying to realise what they wanted.

"Hungry?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. They both shook their heads. Food was my first guess, but they obviously ate pie. Lily still had smudges around her mouth.

"Need to use the bathroom?" I tried again. Hopper gave a half-nod and Lily shook her head. Okay. They didn't want that either, thankfully.

"Need to get out of here?" Now Lily was the one half-nodding and Hopper shook his head.

I sighed. How could I possibly know what dragons wanted? Sydney would know what to do, if she was here.

Sydney.

"Mom? You want mom?" I asked, hoping it was the right question.

It was. Lily squeaked and Hopper nodded, watching me with those big eyes.

"Well, I want her too, but nobody asks me." I said, suddenly feeling sad. I could smell her parfume. I could imagine her in every shirt from this wardrobe. I could remember her in a pie-fight with these monsters. I could see her coming here and not leaving.

And worst of all, I could see that awful yellow house from her dream. I could see her inside, repairing some old, awful car, smeared in dirt and oil. I could see myself painting her like that. I could see those ten dragons and dhampirs.

I could see us having a life together, somewhere, away from everyone. And I knew we couldn't have it any time soon.

I sighed and got up. Hopper and Lily sensed something was wrong, so they didn't squeak or make any noises. They just watched me. And I was thankful.

"I will be back in fifteen minutes," I said seriously and looked at them both. "If this mess doesn't look any less..." I frowned, "messy, we will have a serious talk. Understood?" They both squeaked in understanding and started folding a shirt. It'd take them fifteen minutes to do just that, but they were dragons. And they were guilty.

And I needed time to think. I took the brush and started painting on the canvas. I was already having fantasies. That meant that this was very, very serious. I never wanted to live with a girl before. I never wanted to have kids, and dhampirs at that... Okay, it crossed my mind while I was with Rose, but it wasn't a certainty. It wasn't something I deeply wanted. I fought the urge to propose my Sydney this moment. I, Adrian Ivashkov, wanted to marry and have children at the age of 22. That book with incredible facts about me was getting bigger and bigger.

And I did want to marry her. I wanted to wake up every morning and see that golden hair, skin and eyes of hers. I wanted to be able to be with her every day, for the whole day. I wanted to see her smile, wear colors. I wanted to see that golden lily fade. I wanted to be away from the Moroi gouvernment and the Alchemists. And crazy witches. I wanted Jill there too. I wanted to be so happy that my heart burst of happiness. I wanted a son. And a daughter. And callistannas that'd make mess of our bedroom. I wanted Sydney to be an Ivashkov. I'd do manual labor. Hell, I'd do anything for her. And I knew she would too.

A squeak interrupted my thoughts, making me see the painting for the first time. I painted a big yellow house by the river, with woods behind it. There was golden hair - just a glimpse of the girl wearing purple, entering the house. On the porch were dragons, throwing something blue at each other. Probably pie. There was a guy, shaded by a tree, holding a little golden-haired girl in his arms. Behind the house was a boy, holding an axe for chopping the wood. The sun was shining and the sky was the bluest I've ever painted in my entire life.

I gasped. It was beautiful. And I didn't even notice I did it.

I quickly took the painting in the kitchen so that nobody ruined it (and by nobody, I mean two vandalistic dragons). When I came back, Hopper and Lily were standing proudly and smiling.

I nodded. "Good dragons." I took another canvas and sat down, putting my children in my lap.

"What should I paint?" I asked in wonder.

Hopper put his hand in the red paint and smeared the canvas with it. Lily took purple and did the same.

I put my brush down and put my hand in the yellow paint. I smeared it on the canvas, above red and purple.

Lily was a bit extremistic - she put her head in the purple. She squeaked and I put her in my hand, pulling her higher and closer to the canvas. She painted the whole area around my yellow smudge.

Hopper climbed on my shoulder and squeaked, smearing my hair in silver paint that I kept for my paintings of the fiery heart. It was short, but I still looked like a grandpa. I laughed and took a handful of black. I threw it at Hopper. It hit him, but partially hit the canvas and Lily too.

Now Lily ran and smudged the purple paint on my arm.

"No!" I said, mocking hurt.

Hopper put his tail in blue and painted lines on the canvas, as the tail swinged. Then he accidentaly hit Lily and she squeaked. Then she smeared him in red.

They paused, squeaking something. Then they took a handful of yellow and threw it at my face.

"Oh, you are asking for it," I said, smirking.

We ended up laughing, painted in a variety of colours. The painting was very abstract, but it was completed. And it was beautiful.

The only missing thing was Sydney. I wanted to paint on her too. And I wanted to paint with her too.

But vandals made me happy, if even for a moment. And it was enough.


	25. Chapter 6, part two: Reasons

**Author's note:** _Good morning to everyone!_

_This chapter is very mysterious, since Marcus acts so weird. I know that you'll all think of one thing, while I prepared something no one will expect! But it'll be revealed in, maybe, 20 chapters :( I brought Marcus back, since I think his purpose isn't over in TIS. And, aren't you excited to read Adrian's finding out about this? :D_

_Hmm. Who to mention?_  
_Sweden - HopperIvashkinator and TheHappyLol;_  
_Belgium - Lilietje99;_  
_UK- CherrySlushLover;_  
_South Africa- MilankaLovesMetal and Bukwurm13;_  
_USA - KeepCalmAndDream, damonforever86, Totalbooknerd13 and rose;_  
_pixie's, that comes from somewhere too (and read the next paragraphs carefully, you crazy reviewer :D)._

_Guys, I love you and I love your continuous support. You make me so happy!_

_That's why I have good news. Since this is supposed to be The Fiery Heart, and not Jeddie+Sydrian+Zeil+Hoppy, I am going to make one-shots (it can be two, three, four-shots, how much you say) series that will be totally dedicated to the fluff, which I love to write, and you. Please, write what you want to read and in how many shots in your reviews, and hopefully the first will be updated today. I have to warn you that I won't always have time for both, but I'll try._

_Love you all, Ehlimana :)_

_Now, let's see what Marcus wants!_

* * *

Marcus was standing in front of me. Mexcico certainly did good for his tan - my skin was pale like a vampire's compared to his skin, and I actually found that ironic, but I didn't laugh. The indigo tattoo on Marcus' cheek seemed to be laughing at me and my golden lily. They could still claim me, it reminded me. They could still reinforce the spells and take control of me again. And if they knew, they would.

His blonde hair was a bit longer than when I last saw him, but nothing drastic; after all, I didn't see him for a week. What disturbed me was the look in those blue eyes of his. I didn't remember them misty, as if he was hiding something.

I shivered. I knew I was becoming paranoic, seeing enemies everywhere. Marcus was an ally and I had to treat him like that. The only problem was that he was alone. Where were Sabrina and the others? There was definitely something wrong, but I didn't know what.

"Marcus," I said and narrowed my eyes. Maybe I should've told Adrian about this meeting. Maybe I could've gotten him to promise me not to kill Marcus for almost taking me away from him.

He just nodded. I noticed how tired he looked. There were black areas under his eyes. His overall facial expression was too blank. He looked too vary. It reminded me of Eddie.

I also noticed that he was looking at me too. I couldn't deny that he was very, very handsome, but I couldn't help comparing him with Adrian all the time. And they looked quite the opposite - Marcus' hair was blonde, like the light, while Adrian's hair was dark brown, like the night. Marcus had blue eyes that reminded me of my mother, while Adrian's emerald reminded me of the love of my life. Adrian's skin was pale, while Marcus' was, in this moment, almost brown. Adrian had fangs, magic and the ability to compel people, while Marcus had only his fists. They were both in their earlier 20s, with those smirks and raised eyebrows and cheesy lines. Marcus ran away from mind control and sacrificed his cheek to break the spells forever, while Adrian ran away from the rich Moroi, trying to marry him, make him 'Lord Ivashkov' and like his father - cold and disgusting. They both loved the way they looked and their charms certainly worked on girls. But Marcus didn't make my heart beat faster. He didn't make me shiver, or feel like I had a fever, or want to sacrifice everything. He couldn't be my Adrian for me. No one could. But he could be my friend.

"Are we going to sit here and stare at each other for eternity?" I asked using a light tone, but in the inside I felt very different. Marcus coming back couldn't mean anything good. He wouldn't leave beaches and margaritas just to sit in a coffee shop and stare at me.

Marcus laughed, obviously trying to lighten the atmosphere, but it didn't help.

I raised my hands. "Well? Why are you here, and not in Mexico? And where are the others?"

He decided to answer the last question first, or he just couldn't memorise the rest. "They are in Mexico. Sabrina is making sure that everything goes all right. She probably would've returned with me if I didn't strictly order for her to stay."

That certainly confused me. "But why?" I spoke my thoughts aloud. "Why did you come back?"

He quickly averted his eyes. Yes, the edge of that table was suddenly very interesting to him. Something was very wrong. Did something happen? Did he come here to warn me or something? He was on the run, after all. Risking to be noticed for showing up in one place two times had to mean something serious was going on. And why wasn't he able to just tell me?

"Marcus," I said slowly and carefully, touching his hand that was on the table. There was nothing romantic in that gesture, and I was right - he immediately looked at me. I looked him in the eyes and asked in a low voice, "What is wrong?"

Marcus, Adrian's rival in self-confidence, swallowed and kept silent for another second. I was beginning to feel angry. Where did his self-confidence go now? He knew that I was restless now, but he still wouldn't say anything!

I prepared to show that anger, but then Marcus seemed to make a decision. Something changed in his eyes and then he pulled his hand away, his mouth beginning to form a smile. "I thought about what you said and realised you were right. My reasons aren't..." he paused, trying to find a word. "romantic, but I am loyal. And I am not a coward." While he was saying that, his hands formed fists.

"So I am going to help you," Marcus continued. "For another three weeks it'll be just me, but after that Sabrina and the rest will come. You aren't alone." He smiled. "You are going to let me help you, right?"

I nodded and put my hands on my mouth. There had to be more. "You just realised that you didn't want to hide anymore? Nothing else?" I asked, thrown back by this realisation.

Marcus raised an eyebrow. "What, only falling in love with a Moroi is a valid reason?"

His tone was light, but I froze. "Where did you get that from?" I asked in a strained voice.

Marcus laughed. "I didn't know you considered me a fool, Sydney." He leaned closer, the look in his eyes contradicting his tone. "That spirit user... He seemed awfully protective of you. And awfully jealous. And when you said that your love was in front of you all the time, I knew you were speaking about him. Anyone else could go with you in Mexico, or follow you into hiding afterwards. But you, leaving the Alchemists forever, would mean..."

"Leaving him forever," I finished for him. I just hoped he could understand, even though he was a human. He was Marcus Finch, the scandalous ex-Alchemist. And he already figured it out; there was no use of denying it. So I continued. "I won't deny it. Yes, I stayed because of Adrian. And yes, he is a vampire and we are in love."

Marcus nodded. "Okay. So now that we know the reasons we stayed, we need to start planning."

At that I raised my eyebrow, but I kept silent. "Before we left, Sabrina managed to find out that there is going to be an action, soon, concerning the Moroi princess. The first thing you need to do is make sure she is well-protected."

"Three dhampir guardians. I am going to alter their schedules so that someone is with her at all times." We both nodded.

Marcus continued. "We still don't know their exact plans, but they surely want to kidnap or kill her and cause a civil war among the Moroi." I shuddered, remembering how Sonya almost got killed. And little, kind Jill, what would they do to her if they could? They were monsters. And we had to stop them.

"Since they keep their records well-protected," Marcus continued, oblivious to my thoughts, "we will need a repeat of St. Louis. Yes, now we know that the Alchemists work with the vampire hunters, but it's not enough. We need plans, blueprints, we need someone close to them. Yes, we have you, but you are not introduced to all their plans."

I swallowed. I needed to see and seduce Ian again? Adrian was going to go crazy. "We don't have a lot time, judging from Sabrina's reports. But I won't be able to go to St. Louis. I came back weeks ago. They'd immediately know something is wrong."

Marcus shook his head. "We need someone from the inside."

Someone from the inside. Ian, Jared, Zoe, Stanton... Nobody. There were no Alchemist headquarters here, so no one I knew from Palm Springs would be useful. And after all, who did I know? The gang - Jill, Adrian, Eddie, Angeline, Neil and the humans - Ms. T., Kristen, Julia, Brayden, Trey...

Trey.

"Trey Juarez," I quickly said, too excited to think any further. "We lost Sabrina as a source of information, but he is an ex-vampire hunter."

Marcus' face lightened. "If we knew the time and the place..." Then he stopped and narrowed his eyes. "Can we trust him?"

I grinned. "He is flirting with a dhampir. Yes, we can trust him. He knows that we'd do something very bad to him if he lied. And he is my friend, Marcus." I said and rolled my eyes.

His tone wasn't light when he spoke again. "And I?"

I met his eyes again. What was in them? Hope? Curiosity? What did he expect from me?

I nodded. "You are a friend too, Marcus. You proved and deserved it."

He didn't change his expression, but his voice came out as a near-whisper. "They can still control you," he said. "They can still reinforce the spells. From everyone here, you are risking the worthest thing."

"What?" I asked.

"Your mind," he said and left.

I suddenly felt cold. Marcus was right. If they caught him, they wouldn't have any use because of the indigo spell. If they caught Adrian, they'd just be shocked and disgusted. But if I was caught...

I knew what would happen. I would be sent to a place from every Alchemist's worst nightmares.

I'd be sent to Re-education.


	26. Chapter 6, part three: Phone Calls

**Author's note:** _Hey, guys! I didn't update yesterday since it was The night of destiny and I prayed until 2 AM. But today I'm back, and I hope that I pulled the usual Adrian off!_

_Hmm. I need to mention the following people:_  
_1. Of course, HopperIvashkinator, my wonderful sister that is proud of me :)_  
_2. KeepCalmAndDream, who talks as much as I do! Yay! I love talking to you :D_  
_3. Sam1405, which is going to be away for a while and I already miss her reviews and talking to her. :(_  
_4. TheHappyLol, who didn't review the last chapter, but I didn't forget her :P_  
_5. Lilietje99, my wonderful reader with wonderful reviews. Dedication is fantastic and I love it! :)_  
_6. Bukwurm13, also a dedicated reader. You asked for Adrian and here he is! :D_  
_7. Totalbooknerd13, to who I can never thank enough. Your reviews are so funny! :D_  
_8. CherrySlushLover, whose stories I'm going to read at some point, be sure of it. You won't be able to escape my thousand reviews! :P_  
_9. Casstella, a new reader (welcome!) with an exciting review. I love it how she loves Adrian's painting because I love it too :D_  
_10. Pixie's, for who I'll make sure to make Trey-Angeline one-shots. Is there a name for that pairing? Trengeline? Angey? Oh my God, it sounds awful :D_  
_11. Sydney Ivashkov, who doesn't need to be sorry. You're always welcome, review whenever you can! :)_

_I am so excited. Even India loves me! So yay for that, go India :D_

_And don't hope, computer access comes in 20 days in best case. We are stuck with slow writing, but better is to have phone-updates than nothing! :)_

_And I need more ideas for one-shots. I thInk that witches and the coven will be in the next chapter, but I'm not sure._

_And a question - did anyone figure Rowena out?_

_Okay. The chapter:_

* * *

After I somehow managed to have a reasonable talk with Angeline, I felt quite proud of myself. I mean, reasonable talk with Angeline? Getting her to do what I wanted? It seems impossible, but Sydney Katherine Sage knew which buttons to push. But I must admit that it was hard in the beginning.

"No," Angeline said over and over. "I won't abandon my love and loyalty for Neil."

I just rolled my eyes at that. The fiery love with Jill and Eddie mysteriously snapped and now both Jill and Angeline claimed they were in love with the new guardian, Neil. He did look kind of cute, but compare him to Eddie, and he looked ugly.

Okay. I definitely changed my way of thinking. Eddie was an unnatural creature of the night months ago, and now he was like my hot brother. I really did change, a lot.

Adrian claimed that Angeline and Jill weren't in love with Neil and that it was just an act. He could read auras, but they sometimes acted too convincing. They squeaked and screamed every time Neil entered the room. They went around him and did everything he asked. The way they dressed... It really suggested they wanted to be noticed by Neil. But they weren't trying to kill each other, at least not yet. Thankfully, Neil ignored them both. I'm sure jealousy, martial arts and magic would be involved if Neil chose one of them. And that was something I desperately wanted to avoid.

Eddie took it hard on himself. He was sad, not able to pull his guardian mask off every time Jill touched Neil on the arm. I tried to find out what happened between him and Jill, I really did. I treathened Jill with magic, but she just shushed me and said, "I don't care." And when I finally they could be happy together...

Okay, back to my conversation with Angeline. She told me at least 20 times that she was in love with Neil and that she wasn't a cheap girl that'd go to such lenghts to get what her crazy nerdy friend wanted. And then I made her admit that nerds didn't fall in love with vampires, so she took that adjective back.

But, when I accidentaly said that I didn't mind her being in a relationship with Trey, her chessy "My love for Neil is too great" lines fell into the water. I mean, who was she fooling? She swooned every time Trey glanced in her direction. Yet she was a dhampir and it went against the-vampire-hunting codex or something. I don't think Trey cared that much anymore. Angeline was beautiful, and they kind of did look good together.

So, the madly-in-love-with-the-British-guardian-dhampir suddenly forgot her pride and unconditional love to help me. It was hilarious.

I just hoped Trey could become a vampire hunter again. If we had him as a source, we would be able to help Jill. And we would be able to save her.

So now I was going to get my daily dose of coffee. Adrian made me promise to cut off my daily caffeine dose if he managed to cut off his drinking. It was a good agreement, really. He was so going to lose. I mean, it's not like coffee was addictive or anything, while alcohol was.

I made that promise exactly 20 hours and 13 minutes ago. I couldn't handle this pressure anymore. I needed coffee. Gallons of it.

I called Adrian, probably for the 10th time in an hour. We bought untraceable phones that made me feel like an undercover agent. It was his idea, and it was a good one - if they tried to find something unordinary about me, they wouldn't be able to do it. We were both becoming paranoid.

"Sage, I can't imagine why you could be calling me for the 11th time in an hour," Adrian said with a chuckle.

"I think I'm going to die," I said dramatically.

He laughed. It was that beautiful laugh that made me shiver. I never heard him laugh like that before our relationship started. Was he really happy? With me, and because of me? Because that was brand-new for me. I never made everyone happy, not even myself. And now I felt... No, I didn't feel happy.

"I need it," I said in a near-whisper. "I'm in pain."

Adrian laughed again. "You're doing good. You can drink the next cup in 3 hours."

"And 44 minutes," I added automatically.

"Okay, Sage. Now I need you to calm down..." Adrian trailed off. He paused for a moment.

And started laughing again. "You are torturing me!" I said in a high-pitched voice. "Why is drinking coffee such a major problem?"

"Well, now you know how I feel. I'm addicted to two things and you torture me with taking them both from me."

I knew the first thing, but I had no idea what the other one was. "Hair gel?" I asked hopefully.

Adrian started chuckling, then abruptly stopped. "Wait, what does that mean?" he asked, sounding horrified.

I really didn't need to mention that. I swallowed. "I might have... Thrown away..." Adrian gasped at that. "Every hair gel... That would make you become bald... Eventually." I could hear Adrian starting to breathe faster.

"I am definitely starting to panic." Adrian said too calmly.

"Well, welcome to the club!" I said, exasperated. "I can smell and taste coffee! I am hallucinating. Right now a cup of coffee is driving a car. And walking down the street. And I'm fighting the urge to run after it."

Adrian laughed, breathless. "You are going to murder me, Sage."

"The feeling is mutual," I said and laughed despite wanting to scream. I wanted coffee. I needed coffee.

I sighed. "I need caffeine."

"I need hair gel! And a drink to survive without it!" Adrian said in a panicked voice.

I laughed. "Plan number twenty-two: run away to the Keepers and bring a truck full of coffee to survive," I said. This one was better than Adrian's - he wanted to go to the Moon, saying there were no Alchemist bases outside Earth.

"And a truck full of hair gel. I mean, you're an Alchemist, Sage. Can't you make hair gel or turn dirt into it?"

"Definitely. And I can turn water into wine," I said and laughed.

"I like that sentence," Adrian said in his low voice, making me roll my eyes.

"What was the other thing?" I asked, suddenly remembering. "The thing you were addicted to."

Adrian didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"You," he finally said.

And just when I started saying, "Adrian, I..." my phone started ringing.

I saw the caller's ID and my blood stopped flowing through my veins. "I'm going to have to call you back," I quickly said. "It's... Jared."

"Don't hang up," Adrian answered. "I want to hear."

I nodded and didn't hang up as I answered my phone, summoning all the courage in me. "Sydney Sage speaking," I said calmly. At least I sounded calm. What did dad want? He didn't call just to say 'Hi', that's for sure. He never did.

"Sydney. Did Zoe notify you about the divorce?" His voice was as cold as ice, cutting through the silence. I could hear my heartbeat. It seemed to say "Danger" over and over again.

I took a deep breath and quickly said, "Yes, sir."

"Good," Jared immediately answered. "Do I have to remind you that you're an Alchemist, Sydney?" My name sounded like a curse when he said it. Dear God, with what was he going to treathen me? He was the only person I was afraid of, besides Abe.

"No, sir," I said aloud.

"Good," he said again. "That means I don't have to remind you that I could notify Stanton if you did something... Bad."

"I'm sorry, sir, but why would you do something like that?" I was a second away from falling on the ground. My heart beat too fast. I had no idea how my voice managed to sound so calm.

"Well, Carly is on mom's side and Zoe is on mine. I just thought that you might want to follow Carly's example and not Zoe's." I knew it. He was going to blackmail me and make me break mom's heart. And I was going to obey, like I always did.

"And if you became too at ease with those creatures, I'm afraid Zoe would have to report on you. And you'd be sent to Re-education." I swallowed again. My hands were beginning to shake. He'd send his own daughter to Re-education. He'd make his own daughter report on her sister. And Zoe would do what dad wanted in the blink of an eye.

"But why would there be a need to do such a thing?" Jared continued and laughed, but neither of us considered it funny.

"You'd never do such a thing, right?" His voice was a warning.

"Never, sir," I said, hating myself for it.

"Well, then, I guess I'll see you at the trial. And if you don't show up..." My heart was beating a thousand times in a minute by that point.

"I'm going to make sure you are treated much, much worse than Keith," he said bitterly. So that hurt him? His favourite boy was Re-educated because of me. And I felt so good because of that.

He hang up and I released the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"I am going to kill him," Adrian said, startling me. I forgot he was still on the line.

He answered my next question before I even asked it. "Moroi hearing," he simply said, as if it was obvious.

I shook my head and said, "What am I going to do, Adrian?" And then my voice broke.

"You are going to drink that cup of coffee now and calm down. And we'll figure it out. And I am going to punch him for every 'sir' you said to him. That's, like, infinite punching. I might have to call Castile." Adrian tried to be calm because of me, but frustration was evident in his voice.

I laughed. "Thank you, Adrian."

"No problem, baby. I wasn't sure if you'd approve the murder of your father, since the last time I punched someone you took me to the bedroom." Adrian paused and added, "Not that I mind."

I was thankful that he couldn't see me, since I was blushing. "Marcus hit me accidentaly," I said. "And did you just call me 'baby'?"

Adrian's tone was serious when he answered. "No one can hit a beautiful girl accidentaly!" And he changed his voice to playful, but I remembered Marcus. And how I didn't say of our meeting to Adrian. "And yes, until we have our own babies, I'll call you 'baby'."

I didn't say anything for several long moments.

"Okay, Sage, I won't call you 'baby' if you don't like it," Adrian said and I rolled my eyes. As if I could get upset about something that ridiculous.

"It's not that," I said in a serious voice. "I... Had a meeting, and you are going to freak out."

"Only if you met a hot guy who'd love to see you in his bed," Adrian said playfully and I bit my lip. Why didn't I tell him sooner? I prepared myself for jealous and overprotective Adrian.

"You met a hot guy who'd love to see you in his bed," Adrian exclaimed.

I took a deep breath. "Marcus is back. And he isn't hot and he certainly wouldn't love to see me in his bed."

"That's because he doesn't own one," Adrian said bitterly.

I rolled my eyes and told him about Marcus' strange behaviour, his unknown motives and my fears.

"And stop the jealousy thing, Adrian. He is like a piece of wood compared to you." I said, exasperated by his 'He plays guitar, and I don't' speech.

"When I see that pink in his aura, I'd kill him," Adrian said.

"And then I'd have to break you out from prison," I said and laughed.

"And I'd break you out of that brainwashing center. Do you think your father would become normal if we preformed lobotomy on him? I'm willing to try."

I closed my eyes and sighed. "I miss you. More than coffee."

"That is the most romantic thing you ever said," Adrian said and we both laughed.

"I changed my mind. You did approve of that cup..." I trailed off, my tone playful.

"I thought you were going to cry! If you drink that cup, Sydney..." He spoke my name as a warning.

"Bye, baby," I said emphatically and hung up before he finished that sentence.

24 hours until the next cup. 46 hours until the next kiss. Adrian was right - we both had two addictions, if you didn't count hair gel. We were addicted to each other.


	27. Chapter 6, part four: The Coven

**Author's note: **_I feel like a caveman. Seeing a computer, a keyboard, after so many days... Man, I can write so fast. It's just for an hour, and I'll post whatever I write. I hope you noticed how I finally changed all those mobile author's notes, but I don't have time to revise anything. I won't be on computer for at least another 20 days. Expect me at the beginning of September. I apologize again for grammatical mistakes, for wrong facts, for ugly author's notes and short chapters._

_Sam1405 and Lilietje99 are on vacation and won't be able to review for a while, but I won't forget them! Rest and relax and I expect a thousand reviews from you when you're back! ;)_

_HopperIvashkinator - I LOVE YOU and I have nothing else to say. Maybe just... Cleaning carpets is over! Yay! :D_

_rebelde09 - Make out session coming soon! ;)_

_Bukwurm13 - More tying up the real TFH in this chapter too! I want it to be similar. :)_

_TheHappyLol - No problem! I just missed how you always swoon and have funny reactions to my chapters :P_

_casstella - Don't freak out because of no Jeddie! I don't like Neil so we'll have them together soon. I love Eddie. :)_

_Totalbooknerd13 - Your support is great! :D_

_Alexandrabelikov - My friend is back! Thank you so much for not abandoning me!_

_sydney ivashkov - No words for you except: Thank you, my fellow reviewer. :)_

_Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing and I love you all! Hope you like the coven meeting here. And please review, I laugh so much when I read your recations and praising words! You know how much they mean to me. _

_Richelle Mead always did and always will own these awesome characters. :)_

* * *

Sometimes unexpected things happen in your life. You fall in love with a vampire, your parents divorce, your history teachers yield magic, you become a part of a coven. I just never thought any of those things would ever happen to me. I didn't even believe in witches until I became one of them.

And I didn't expect of Ms. Terwilliger to even acknowledge my existence for a while. What happened with Abe was awful. My history teacher let Ibrahim Mazur bite her and taste her blood. The thought alone made me shudder. But I shuddered, remembering what it discovered. Strigoi could drink from witches. Moroi could, too. There were several reports of the Alchemists being drank from. So Strigoi could drink blood from an Alchemist too. But neither Strigoi, nor ex-Strigoi could drink from me. And now Zmey and Ms. T. wanted of me to willingly offer my blood to Adrian. I freaked every time I realised there was something in my blood that protected me. Something special. I wanted to be anything except special! And I didn't want to be a test subject for blood-drinking!

Adrian's protective soothing words rang through my head and I immediately felt better, every time. I didn't want to be a lab rat. A bite gave quite a high, and I didn't want to become addicted. I didn't want this to be so complicated, so I simply hoped they'd leave me alone. Abe, leave me alone? In my dreams.

But I was still surprised when Ms. T. called me. And even more surprised when I answered the call.

"You're not practicing and I can't let that continue. I understand that you are angry, but I need you to understand that you need to develop your abilities." Ms. T.'s voice was careful, as if she was afraid I'd hang up.

I sighed. "I understand. And I'm not angry. But I don't get it - instead of protecting me from him, you acted like you two swore a blood oath to frustrate me or something!" In that moment, I didn't sound like an Alchemist or a witch. I sounded like a hurt 18-year-old.

Ms. T. laughed. "You speak like a witch." Then her voice became serious. "Melbourne, I trust Abe when he tells me to do something. I know him for at least twenty years, and our paths were crossed many times. I trusted him every time and I was always right to do so..."

I interrupted. "So when asked you to tell him all about me and then laugh with him while he bullies me-"

Now Ms. T. interrupted sharply. "Yes, when he asked of me to be silent while he pursues you for something of great importance, I did it." She paused and sighed. "I am sorry for failing you, Melbourne, but Ibrahim explained the situation to me. I shouldn't have even been there, but I thought that my presence would maybe help you relax."

Okay, that was nice of her, so I dropped a part of my hurt-act. "Thank you," I simply said.

And then I put on the hurt-act again. "But you let him bite you, madam! You let a vampire drink your blood!" I was almost screaming and pulling my hair in frustration. Didn't she see how wrong that was? And she acted like it was nothing, while my Alchemist beliefs, that were deeply ingrained in me, screamed.

"Ah, don't act like an innocent 2-year-old," Ms. T. said. "We are grown-ups. We had a wonderful affair long time ago and we keep it that way - casual. But being..." She paused, obviously trying and failing to find a different term, "bitten is a wonderful experience. I am glad I did it. If you weren't stuck up in your organisation's beliefs, you'd benefit from the Ivashkov boy too."

I was horrified. "But it is unnatural! And agreeing to it takes your own humanity from you!" I tried to remember more reasons why it was wrong, but Adrian's face kept flashing in my mind. How could anything about him be wrong?

Ms. T. sighed. "You are acting like a child, Melbourne. You could help all Moroi and prevent any more innocent people become Strigoi, but you are so stubborn. Besides, if it isn't repulsive to Ivashkov, you have nothing to fear." Her tone was gentle and suggestive. Oh Lord, my mind was actually considering it. I tried to will the thought away, but it didn't want to disappear. What if it really wasn't repulsive? What if I was normal?

"But that wasn't the subject of this call, Melbourne," Ms. T. said and, thankfully, the thoughts disappeared. No, they didn't disappear. They just went into the back of my mind, to freak me out later.

"You called me to discuss magic, madam," I said carefully.

"No. I called to notify you that you are going to join my coven. The women are excited. The initiation is tomorrow night, and you need a special name you will use at the meetings. We like to keep our identities hidden in the witch world." That threw me back. My palms started sweating. I, a coven? That meant I'd officially become a witch. Would they even accept me? Would I be able to keep up with them? My heart beat faster at the thought.

"All right," I said in defeat, knowing there was no point in arguing about it.

And here I was, sitting in my room, not sure what name I'd pick. I was very nervous. The initiation about which I knew nothing was supposed to begin in an hour at Ms. Terwilliger's house and I was so nervous. I was worried about Adrian and his usage of spirit when I visited him earlier, so we settled on a short, totally necessary spirit dream tonight. I just had to survive until then.

But it was going to be very hard. I was a person that always did her assignments a month earlier. I was never late in my life, for anything. And now I was in that position. I had an hour to think of a name, and since I was _very _creative, I already found ten names. Ha, ha. I found none.

And... An hour passed. Ms. Terwilliger picked me up, led me to her house, told me to relax and that everything will be okay, but I just couldn't calm myself. What if they didn't like me? What if they were all old, crazy ladies with a thousand cats?

What if the coven was awesome? Then I'd have another official responsibility. I wouldn't be able to deny that I'm a witch anymore. And I'd become the very thing I was learned to despise. I'd become unnatural, and there'd be no coming back. No more being the nice daddy's girl.

And I was so afraid that it was going to become the truth.

I got in Ms. Terwilliger's house and she left me in the hallway, saying she'd be right back.

"Oh, hi, Jane," I heard Ms. Terwilliger say. "She's here."

The lady said something I couldn't hear and suddenly, she was right in front of me.

And she was a woman. A very... curvy woman. I wouldn't say that she was "fat", but I' say that she had a few unnecesary things on her body. She had long, wavy blonde hair that was white around her temples, but it didn't look bad on her. It just added to her authority.

She also had big, almost black eyes that looked kind of scary for a first meeting. She had many necklaces and rings and she wore a dark blue T-shirt with black trousers.

"So, the princess finally decided to show up," she said and raised an eyebrow, putting her hands on her hips.

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just nodded.

"Jane," she said as if it was the most normal thing in the world and raised her arm towards me.

I shaked hands with her and started to say, "Syd..." but she interrupted.

"Not your real name. Your witch name. We try to hide our identities here, so if a witch decides to become like Alicia, she can't track us down."

And there I, Sydney Katherine Sage, made a split decision for the first time in my life. I said something without thinking or planning. I had no idea what to say, but the name came out of my lips before I could stop it. "Taylor," I said fiercely and Jane nodded.

"Good. I hope you won't act as you did before. Jackie said you had a wonderful potential. We are here to help you."

I nodded. "Yes, madam."

And an awkward silence stretched between us. I didn't know what I was supposed to do except wait for Ms. Terwilliger. I had many questions, but I wasn't sure if Jane wouldn't consider me rude for bombarding her with those questions. I wanted to know what the initiation required. I wanted to know how many people were in the coven, and if all were women. I wanted to know how many times they gathered and if it was always in Ms. T.'s house. I wanted to know what was my role in all of this and all the spells they learnt here. I wanted to know their history and how many evil witches were out there.

Yeah. It'd _maybe_ be rude to ask all those questions.

We just stood there, Jane watching me with those piercing eyes of hers and me becoming increasingly nervous, until Ms. Terwilliger entered the room.

"Come in, they are ready," she said and grinned. It was obvious how happy and content she was when I finally accepted to become a part of the coven. I think she knew how hard it was for me. And I was her apprentice, after all. I felt safe with her... Except when Zmey was involved.

Jane entered the room first and Ms. Terwilliger pushed my back with her hand lightly. I thought I was going to die. I was so nervous - my palms were sweaty, my heart beat at an abnormal speed and my breaths were low and fast.

And the room was full of witches.


	28. Chapter 6, part five: Meeting Witches

Author's note: Just a quick one - I didn't want to describe things too much since I know they'll be so different in the real TFH. I suppose we'll know by the end of August!

Also, VA trailer? Am I the only afraid person? I mean, Danilla is so unbelievably hot, but Dominic is kind of... Ew. In my mind Christian was totally different. And here is the proof that everything in a book is about boys for a girl :D

And I want to know the name of #5 Bloodlines! And I want TFH trailers! And the book! And, ahh. I want a computer to write faster :(

Mentioning:

1. Yes, yes, HopperIvashkinator. My wonderful sister. I am so excited too!

2. Bukwurm13. Yes, that day will come! I can't help it! And you didn't misread anything )

3. Totalbooknerd13. You are crazy :D

4. TheHappyLol! Love you and your cider juice reactions! :D

5. Rebelde09. Be patient, it will happen. I just need a make-out session and Sydney deciding. D

6. Pixie's. So glad you loved the chapter :)

7. CherrySlushLover. Crazy girl, this chapter is for you, because the previous one was short :P

8. Lesha11. Welcome, new reviewer. Hope you didn't wait too long! :)

So many people support me! (+ Sam1405, Lilietje99 and MilankaLovesMetal - I didn't forget them!) Love you, guys.

And yes - Adrian is going to bite Sydney. I want that chapter so much and we're all crazy, but who cares? It'll change so many things for them! Now I'm going to keep you reading and waiting for that scene, and out of nowhere it will come one day, without a warning :D

Now, the coven meeting I owed you:

I entered Ms. Terwilliger's kitchen. Her dining table had 6 chairs that were all occupied by women and there were 2 more chairs, only one occupied. There was a man standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. Jane passed by me and sat on the unoccupied chair, while Ms. T. put her hands on her hips and took a deep breath.

I noticed that mostly everyone was older than 30, like Jane. There was a woman at the head of the table and she looked very old, with long grey hair. She looked like a witch. Beside Jane was a young woman, probably around 25, and when my gaze came to a rest on her, she smiled. Many women had red hair, and only one woman didn't have long hair. The man was probably around 30, and when he noticed me looking, he raised both eyebrows.

I didn't feel chilled or afraid anymore. They all looked hostile and... Familiar. Certainly not what I expected. I expected animal sacrifices, flickering lights, flying carpets. Not a room with normal people sitting at a dining table.

Ms. Terwilliger was standing a meter from me, and she started speaking. "Okay. As you all already know, I've been training a girl with a wonderful potential. She fought Alicia and won. She saved my life. The least I can do is introduce her to my coven."

The witches nodded and the grey-haired woman spoke up. "Did you kill Alicia, girl?"

I shook my head. "I don't know for sure. I threw broken shards at her and she fell into a burning basement. They didn't find her body."

"That was really brave of you, Taylor," Jane said, obviously annoyed by the woman calling me 'girl'. In the corner of my eye I saw Ms. Terwilliger rise an eyebrow, but I focused on Jane. "Jackie almost died in trying to protect you. You've done well."

Everyone in the room nodded and Ms. Terwilliger smiled. "Well, then let's introduce everyone. Everyone, this is Taylor," and she gestured at me with her hands, "And Taylor, this is Palm Springs coven."

The women started saying names:  
Clara, Kate, Paris, Joanne, the grey-haired woman was named Danielle, then Tina, the young woman was named Summer, while Jane just nodded at me and the man said "Mike".

"Okay, so the formalities are over. Now we need to do the initiation." Ms. T. looked at me, grinning, and I just nodded. I was becoming nervous again, not knowing what I was supposed to do.

"Tonight is a full moon, so we can preform the ritual immediately. Come here," Ms. T. said, took my hand and started steering me towards the table. Then I saw a wooden bowl at the head of the table, near Danielle.

Mike was walking towards the table, while Jane and Summer stood up and came closer.

"Don't be afraid," the woman that said her name was Kate said gently. I nodded and saw the grey-haired woman take a knife from Mike, who was watching me with an amused expression.

Don't freak out, Sydney, I told myself. They won't sacrifice animals.

"She's expecting animal sacrifice," Mike said through a chuckle and everyone started laughing.

I smiled, but kept my attention at the old woman, Danielle.

She took the knife and touched her thumb with it, making it bleed. While blood started to fall into the bowl, she took my hand and said loudly, "I swear my loyalty to the girl that calls herself Taylor." Ms. Terwilliger gave me the bowl while Danielle passed the knife to Mike. He looked me in the eyes, held my hand and swore his loyalty. I walked around the table with the bowl in which there was more and more blood, while witches swore their oaths.

Ms. Terwilliger smiled, took my hand and cut her palm. "I, the leader of this coven, swear my loyalty to this girl that calls herself Taylor. I take full responsibility for her." Then she took the bowl and gave me the knife.

"Cut your palm," she said gently. I cut my left palm, but didn't feel the pain. I let the blood fall into the bowl while saying, "I swear my oath to this coven. I promise to be loyal to it and not to let it down." Feeling like I wanted to say more, I continued, feeling courageous. "I swear to protect the coven and everyone in it. I won't deny magic anymore and I will fight against the coven's enemies with all I have."

Ms. Terwilliger hastily touched her bleeding palm with mine, interwining our fingers. She started chanting on Latin and I probably would've been able to translate it if I wasn't busy with watching the blood starting to glow, while it still fell into the bowl.

And it was suddenly over. There was no blood in the bowl and my hand wasn't bloody when I looked at it.

"That's it, Melbourne," Ms. Terwilliger said, smiling. She looked so content. "You are a member of the coven now."

I smiled, the Alchemist in me still freaked out, but a very large part of me infinitely happy. I wasn't alone anymore. I was a part of a community. 9 witches, a warlock and an Alchemist.

I was totally right - if the Alchemists found out about this, I wouldn't be sent to Re-education. I'd be executed.

"Now," Jane said, stopping my train of thoughts, "Let's see whose fireball is the bluest!"

The room exploded in cheers and everyone summoned fireballs. I didn't know what to do, so I summoned one too, and when Ms. T. saw it was blue, she grinned.

Danielle's was red, the weakest and she started murmuring something, angry.

Five fireballs were yellow and they also went off, with displeased words like, "Not fair!" or "I didn't summon it for a long time".

Blue fireballs were in my hand, Mike's, Jane's, Summer's and Ms. Terwilliger's.

"Ah," Jane suddenly said. "Mike won again. I don't know how you do it, but you're definitely cheating!"

Mike raised an eyebrow. "Or I'm just the strongest one."

Jane crossed her arms over her chest and turned away, while Mike smiled, seeing my blue fireball. "I didn't know she was stronger than you, Jackie," he said.

"It's a pleasant surprise," Ms. Terwilliger said. "She's probably been practicing." And she winked at me. Everyone turned away and her fireball became bluer than even Mike's.

I opened my mouth, but she shook her head, grinning. That cheater. She was the strongest one, but she let them think Mike was.

After that we exercised shields and protection spells. While Ms. Terwilliger wrote the chanting of her new spell down, Jane explained how different charms worked to me. She also said they often had fighting sessions, but since this meeting was about my initiation, they wouldn't fight. Witches also exchanged usefull spells and I learned much about them.

I felt like I belonged there, in Ms. T.'s dining room, among those witches. That was exactly what I was afraid of. And I didn't feel guilty, or unnatural. I was a part of the coven now. These people swore their loyalties to me.

Ms. Terwilliger gave me a necklace with a silver moon pendant. "It identifies you as one of us, and if you need it, you can draw strength of other coven members from it."

And now, I was sitting in my room, not being able to fall asleep.

I was a witch, a real witch now. My boyfriend was a Moroi and I broke into confidential Alchemist records. I was many things, but I wasn't what my father or the Alchemist wanted me to be.

I fell asleep very late, burdened with all those Alchemist beliefs ingrained into me for many years. I disobeyed everything and everyone, except omyself. But who was I? Where did I belong?

I got my answer as soon as I started dreaming.

Flash of emerald, apartment that smelled of pine and one more characteristic: home. The only place in the world I called like that.

Adrian.

He smiled honestly at me and came closer. His hair was, as usually, messy-styled and he wore black trousers and a white button-up shirt whose sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.

The thoughts I tried so hard to avoid were starting to come to the surface again. How could anything about this heavenly being be unnatural? How could a man I called "home" be wrong and evil? And how could I deny him something he wanted but what he'd never ask of me?

"Sage," he said eagerly as he came closer, but his smile faltered when he saw my expression. Thoughts about biting were swimming around my head, I could hardly focus on anything else.

"What's wrong?" Adrian gently said, already in front of me. His hand touched the golden lily on my cheek. I couldn't help but immediately feel better. "Was the initiation that bad?" He raised an eyebrow mockingly, attempting to make me smile. He succeeded.

I shook my head. "It was wonderful. I met so many people."

I took Adrian's arm and led us to his bed. There I told him about the meeting in details. His face lightened up every time I mentioned how I felt I belonged and how this was something that went against all of my beliefs.

"Taylor?" he said through a laugh and kissed my cheek. "You are brilliant."

I smiled, but it wasn't too convincing. I was thinking about the possibility of Adrian biting me. I was thinking about how it'd feel and if it'd change everything about us. If my blood would taste disgusting to him. If I'd feel good. If I could be free of Abe's pursue.

"What's wrong, Sydney?" Adrian asked carefully, his hands on my cheeks, his eyes piercing through my soul. The way he said my name melted me and for a second I wanted to tell him what was wrong. We'd work it out.

"Adrian, I..." I started.

And then everything disappeared. The only thing I felt was Zoe shaking me and the only thing I saw was a tornado of brown hair.

"Sydney, wake up!" Zoe said, trying and failing to whisper.

"What is wrong, Zoe?" I asked sleepily, rubbing my eyes to see better.

"Dad called," Zoe said. "He said the trial is in three weeks. We need to show up." Her face suddenly lightened and she smiled. "I knew you'd pick the right side. It's all mom's fault."

"I..." I started, but stopped myself, knowing I wouldn't solve anything by saying about the bribing. Zoe would probably just deny everything and we'd end up having another fight. I decided to keep everything the way it was, at least for now. "Okay, Zoe," I said with a sigh.

She nodded and left the room, very happy. How could she be happy when her parents were divorcing?

And as if the heaven heard me, my phone started ringing. I quickly checked the time. 6 AM. Who could be calling this early? Adrian, angry that I didn't say what was wrong? Eddie, saying Angeline killed someone? Jill, panicking for showing up in a magazine? I was already angry and frustrated, and I just woke up!

"What?" I answered the call, not caring who the caller was.

"Sydney," a gentle voice said. "Is everything okay?" That voice melted me and stabbed me in the heart. All my defenses were useless against this person.

"Mom?" I said, my voice breaking.

"You know about the divorce, sweetie? Jared promised to inform you. I would've called sooner, but the Alchemist couldn't give your number earlier. Safety reasons or something." I could feel her rolling her eyes.

"Yeah," I said, my brain shutting down. There were so many things I wanted to say to mom. 'Mom, I miss you. I fell in love. I'm a witch. I hate the Alchemists. Zoe hurts. I hate dad. Is he my dad at all? And I love you, mom. I want to come home.' All those things evaporated from my mind, replaced by Jared treathening me with Re-education. I had to protect mom, even if it meant hurting her badly in the process.

"Honey. Jared said you were going to testify in his favor. I know you won't. You never loved him." Mom's voice was so gentle, so determined, so sure in honesty of the words it was saying. It made my heart tighten and hurt worse.

"Mom..." I started, but she interrupted me.

"I know what you are going to ask. Why?" I knew the answer to that question. I knew exactly why. Mom was just going to confirm it. "It's not just Zoe. It's you, too. I almost died when you left almost a year ago. Now Zoe is out there too, fighting monster because her father has no limits."

"Mom," I said sharply, and she stopped talking. "I know. And dad was right." I sounded too calm. Don't think, Sydney. Just don't think.

Mom was silent for a moment, and then she whispered, "But why? Sydney, I thought you loved me."

Tears started falling down my cheeks, but I managed to sound cold. "I'm an Alchemist now. My feelings don't matter anymore." And I shut her off, promising to myself I'd get out of this whole mess.

I just had no idea how.


	29. Chapter 7, part one: Hello, Rose

**Author's note: **_Hey guys! Another computer update! :)_

_So, I hope I got Rose and her gang right, since I read VA 6 months ago and can't exactly remember everything about them :D_

_I'm trying not to feel bad because damonforever86, Sam1405, Lilietje99 and TheHappyLol (from 10th August) will be away. But I know they'll start fangirling when they see all these new chapters!_

_Those of you who stay, I promise to write many new chapters and keep us all occupied. I might start that One-shots series soon ;)_

_And new chapters will be exciting, full of action!_

_Hmm, who to mention?_

_HopperIvashkinator and CherrySlushLover - I love you guys and miss your reviews! _

_Totalbooknerd13 - your reactions and reviews keep me going!_

_TheHappyLol - you alcoholic, I'll miss you!_

_KeepCalmAndDream - I know you're with me, so don't worry and take it easy!_

_KyKat - welcome, new reviewer! And thank you for your support :)_

_rose - all you questions will be answered very soon! and you are lucky - in my country Mortal Instruments aren't going to be in cinemas at all! And I'll try for VA, but I'm not sure! And the book... I ordered it, but it'll be here by January. :(_

_Hope you all like this and I love you all! :)_

* * *

After the spirit dream with Sydney ended, I couldn't go back to sleep. Why?

Well, first of all, Sydney didn't manage to tell me what was wrong, and something was seriously wrong. Her aura and her face showed that she was upset. She didn't tell me something, and I didn't know what it was.

Second, someone woke her up at 6 AM. That had to be important, and only remembering that Zoe was in the house with Sydney stopped me from going there myself.

Third, I had problems with spirit. The darkness made my mood instantly change and I felt annoyed.

And fourth, I wasn't used to getting up this early. Usually I got up around 11, and at college days around 8. Thankfully, today wasn't a college day.

I remembered I had homework. The class wasn't until tomorrow, so I had plenty of time. God, Sage started influencing me. I actually didn't want to do my homework at the last moment.

And soon I had an idea. I was supposed to paint something that didn't exist, and I decided to paint something that people just thought didn't exist.

"Hopper! Lily! Come here," I called.

Soon my monsters were in front of me, both on a stool, posing for my homework.

This was cheating - I was supposed to imagine something and paint it. I had my imagination alive, in front of me.

And yeah, I was a part of that imagination too. I lived in a hidden world, often having to pretend that I was something I wasn't. Being a Moroi - a mortal vampire was hard enough. Not being able to feel the sun's comforting heat without injuring myself was harder, but I got used to that. Being rejected and laughed at by those same vampires I was supposed to belong with was another difficulty. I never liked school because I was different from others. I had big, green eyes and I could see colors around people. I had major headaches when I was a kid and had mood changes.

While others played sports, I was visiting doctors and looking at my parents' faces - mom's worried and dad's disappointed looks. I dreamed about things that became real. I didn't know and I wasn't able to heal until Lissa showed me how. And I could and did live with the fact that I was weird... But what hurt the most was being constantly looked at with pity after my teachers realised I wasn't going to specialize. And that pity ever since, made me so angry. Everyone "handled" me only because I had money and because of my royalty status. No girl ever, not even Rose, cared for me because of me, because of who I was. Even Rose cared only for my money.

And then Sydney happened. I thought my good looks, my sarcasm, my wealth or royalty status would get her to love me. I really counted on those things. But when I met her, all those things flew out the window. She knew exactly what she wanted to see. She wanted to see what was beneath my shields. Without even trying, she just broke them all. And in the end, she fell in love with what was underneath. In front of her, I didn't have to pretend to be something I wasn't. She just took all of me and dealt with it. And she never treated me like a child. Rose treated me as if she was superior. Everyone did, except for my flame in the dark.

Soon my homework was done.

On the canvas were Hopper on the left side, brown like Sydney's eyes, and on the right side stood Lily, watching Hopper with adoration. I noticed how they were bigger now - they were still little dragons, but they weren't babies anymore.

Without even thinking, I added the most beautiful face on Earth above them, smiling and looking at them motherly. A little bit of purple here and there, blonde hair that I was never able to capture perfectly and my signature, and the picture was done.

Hopper and Lily just climbed into my lap, smiling, when my phone started ringing.

Unknown caller. "Yeah?" I answered carefully, hoping this wasn't my dad, but Sage.

"Adrian," a familiar voice said. "Where are you?"

I raised an eyebrow. I definitely wasn't expecting this person. "Rose? Why do you sound like you've been running?"

Rose growled. "Are you in Palm Springs?"

"Yeah," I answered after a second, remembering she knew about Jill. I didn't have to pretend I was in LA.

She sighed in relief. "Thank God. I need you to come to the airport. Now."

"What?" I almost yelled. Lowering my voice a bit, I said, "Are you crazy? It's not even 7 AM yet!"

Rose sighed again, starting to sound annoyed. "Please, Adrian. I called Sydney and she said you're the only one with a car." She paused for a second and told in a lower voice, "And Lissa is here with me. She is the queen, after all."

Now it was my turn to sigh. "Okay," I simply said. Lissa was my friend and the Moroi queen. I was supposed to be loyal to her or something. Rose played her cards wisely, knowing I had to obey.

"And bring Sydney," Rose shouted a moment before I shut her off.

So yes, Adrian Ivashkov was driving his Mustang at 7 AM, going to pick his girlfriend up before they went to his ex. Magnificent.

When I pulled up at Clarence's, Sydney was standing with Zoe. In that moment, I couldn't see anything that connected them except for their golden lilies.

"But it is the queen!" I heard Zoe say, her face flushed and her hands above her head.

"Listen to me now," Sydney said coldly, putting her hands on her hips, "You are going to stay here and prepare the house for them." Sydney's voice became soft. "I need you to help me, Zoe, and if you go with me, you won't be able to."

Zoe's Alchemist mask melted as she looked into her sister's eyes. She was wearing a beige skirt with a white button-up shirt, while Sydney wore an indigo (and I noticed, longer) skirt and a grey button-up shirt with an indigo flower on the left side. As the wind rustled her hair, I realised that she was never as beautiful as she was now. Defying all laws, but still being soft to her sister. Being a good girl, but still managing to look like a dangerous woman. An 18-year-old, but responsible for other people. A human, but also an angel.

As if she could hear my thoughts, Sydney turned towards me and her gaze melted all other thoughts. She was beautiful, and she was mine. She cared about me and I cared about her. We'd die for each other.

A silent conversation of loving words passed between us during a second and Sydney turned and hugged a confused Zoe.

"Good luck," Zoe whispered while Sydney said, "Thank you."

And in a moment, Sydney was sitting in my car, distracting me with that skirt.

Sydney rolled her eyes at me. "It's decent, and it still distracts you. How is that possible?" she asked, teasing me.

I smirked. "When it comes to you, nothing is impossible."

We both smiled and it was silent in the car until I spoke. "You didn't finish that sentence in the spirit dream."

Sydney sighed and turned her head away from me, as if she was looking at something outside. A quick glance at her aura showed that she was afraid and deeply worried about something.

"Can we just have this conversation later?" Sydney said, her voice trembling.

She wasn't the type that ran away from things and prolonged them.

"Just tell me what happened!" I said, my voice rising. I fought the urge to kick something. "You know you can trust me."

Sydney was silent for another moment, watching me change shifts. "It's about blood," she finally whispered. "My blood."

I frowned. "Did Abe try..." I started, but Sydney interrupted me.

"No. Adrian, please just wait a little longer. Please." she whispered, her voice barely audible, her eyes closing.

I took her hand and squeezed it gently. I was so worried about her, but I knew I shouldn't push it. I could wait that much for her. "Just a little longer," I carefully said.

And then I noticed that we were at the airport. Rose was coming towards the car, all in black, glorifying, her hair rustling on the wind. I quickly pulled my hand away and Sydney made a hurt expression, obviously thinking I did it because of Rose.

"Do you want to tell them?" I whispered, even though they couldn't hear us.

Realisation hit her eyes and she shook her head.

Lissa was walking, her hand in Christian's arm. She was laughing at something he said and only the crown was missing - she looked like a real queen with her neat blonde hair and her light green dress. Christian wore a navy blue shirt and a pair of black trousers. He looked like his usual pyromaniac self and his eyes were full of adoration for Lissa.

Then I noticed Dimitri behind them, surveying their surroundings. I thought Rose looked dangerous, but compared to him she looked like a child. His long hair was in a ponytail and with that black duster he looked deadly, but a bit old-fashioned too. I didn't feel jealous anymore, and the feeling was wonderful.

Sydney was already getting out and I followed her lead. She ran towards Rose and hugged her. That meant that she definitely didn't mind her being dhampir, and I smiled.

"You don't look a day older than 15," Christian said and smirked. I was satisfied with that awkward hug men share, and laughing, I hugged Lissa and picked her up from the ground.

She squeaked and we both laughed. I heard Rose saying something like "prettier" to Sydney and she blushed.

Dimitri came closer to me and started to say something, but I stopped him by hugging him. Yeah, that was awkward. He was so shocked that I started chuckling.

"I'm... glad to see you too, Adrian," Dimitri stammered. I nodded at him and then I stopped in track.

Rose was coming towards me, and she was very nervous.

"Adrian," she said in a very high tone.

"Rose," I said grinning and I saw Sydney smile too, behind Rose.

Rose raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. She looked at me from her height, and she was hilarious, so I started laughing.

"Over me, huh?" she said. "I didn't believe it when Dimitri told me."

I shook my head. "What, you thought I'd be stuck on you forever?"

Rose crossed her arms over her chest and turned away. "No," she said quietly. "That's good for you."

Dimitri started laughing and pulled her into an embrace. "Roza," he said gently. "Not very guy can be in love with you."

They started walking away and I heard Rose say, "But Dimitri, I want to know who she is! Why didn't he ask me?"

I raised an eyebrow. How did Rose know that I was in love with someone else? She couldn't know it was Sydney...

Sydney's voice stopped the train of my thoughts. "Queen Vasilisa," she said in her business-like tone. "I am very honoured to be able to meet you." She bowed in front of Lissa. I couldn't believe it.

Christian couldn't either. "If she calls me 'Lord Ozera', I am going to arrest her." he said and I started laughing.

"Sydney," I gently said and she turned her head towards me. Lissa was looking at her like she was a cute puppy. She kind of looked like a lost puppy, and I fought the urge to put my arm around her waist and introduce her properly.

"You don't have to be formal." I said and shook my head.

Sydney's eyes widened and she started to say, "But- Adrian- The queen-"

One look at her and she stopped talking.

"You can call me Lissa," Lissa said gently and touched Sydney's arm. Christian raised an eyebrow when she didn't react and muttered, "Well, she's a tough one."

Lissa turned towards me. "I heard of your dance at Sonya's wedding. I think it's so romantic!" She started jumping around.

Sydney and I froze. When Christian saw Sydney's horrified expression, he smirked. "Maybe not so tough," he muttered and I punched him in the arm.

"Hey! What was that for?" he said.

"Shush, pyro," I said through a laugh.

"That was..." Sydney started, seeing Lissa's expectation of elaboration.

"Forced, Lissa," I said and sighed. "I apologized, like, a million times."

Sydney smiled. "Apology accepted. Thank God, I didn't have problems with my superiors."

"They really hate us that much?" Lissa asked.

Sydney just nodded. I sent her a warm look, trying to tell her that these guys were my friends and that she could be more at ease with them.

Christian started asking Sydney something about fire users and Lissa asked about Jill, so I tuned them out.

I could hear Dimitri saying to Rose, "Roza, aren't you happy that he is happy? Do you remember how he was after you broke his heart?"

Well, that was more interesting even than Sydney talking about Clarence taking naps every afternoon.

"I just want to know, Dimitri. If she is some uptight Moroi, like I'd expect..."

"What, Roza?" Dimitri said in a serious voice. "I don't understand what is your problem. Why do you care so much?"

"Jill was very mysterious on the phone. Something weird is going on. I can smell t from a mile away." Rose said harshly.

"Or you are just jealous," Dimitri simply said.

"I'm not!" Rose said in a tone that, I was sure, even Sydney could hear. "I'm just worried. If he uses that girl, or if that girl uses him like I did... I'd never be able to forgive myself."

Dimitri sighed. "Roza. Don't blame yourself. Let Adrian live his life."

"But I need to take care of him! He is naive and... a child." Ouch. That hurt.

Rose and Dimitri came back after that, and Rose was looking very angry.

"Sydney," she said and Sydney immediately turned towards her. "I need you to find us all a place to live at."

"You are going to _live_ here?" Sydney said, startled.

"Yes, for a while." Rose said harshly and Sydney immediately turned all business-like again.

"We have two rooms at Clarence's. I guess Christian and Lissa could sleep in one room, but if you want to guard them both, I'd suggest for Dimitri to sleep with Christian."

Rose nodded and then I noticed many bags behind them.

"Oh my God. How is everything going to fit in my car?" I said and put my hands on my temples.

"Poor Ivashkinator," Sydney said and a moment later realised what she said. Everyone was looking at her with widened eyes.

"What?" Rose said. "You named a car? And his name is... hybrid of his," and she turned towards me, "surname? What the hell?"

Sydney was blood-red by then. "Well, it's his car, after all.." she said quietly.

"Sydney loves cars," I said quickly, trying to direct all attention towards myself. "In another life, she'd be a mechanic."

"Well, she is definitely an interesting Alchemist," Christian said.

Sydney sighed in relief, but Rose watched her with narrowed eyes. "So," she said slowly. "You two hang out or what?"

"Yes," I said in the same time Sydney said, "No."

We looked at each other and I said, "Actually," while Sydney said, "It's not..."

Sydney put her hand over her mouth and nodded at me.

"We are business associates or something," I said dumbly.

"Or something," Rose echoed.

How the hell were we going to keep our relationship a secret?


	30. Chapter 7, part two: Life Isn't Fair

Author's note: Well, this is a wonderful occasion. Today is Bayram (or, as everyone call it, Eid), a holiday I really, really love. Even if you're not Muslim, please be with your families and with those you love today! Spread love around! Smile on the street! Hug strangers! Sing, dance and laugh! This is a time when everyone need to be happy. So, happy and mubarek Eid to all I love, and I love all my reviewers, readers and followers!

Okay. I think that was enough of spreading love :D

I am going to skip several tweets, or actually, a whole chapter, because I want to fulfill TheHappyLol's request before she goes. Instead of school and stuff (that will be mentioned in the next chapters), I am going to write the slapping now! Yes, you read right - someone is going to get slapped :D

Mentioning these wonderful girls:

HopperIvashkinator: Love you, sis. Don't stress yourself out - your reviews are welcome, whenever you write them. There are more important things. :)

Pixie's: Don't worry. Find the tweets and the tweet saying "Steamy Sydrian" is going to have the bite in it. I decided to do it, and I hope we'll all like it :D

KyKat: Who doesn't love Christian? TheHappyLol: You and Adrian have something in common - alcohol. )

Totalbooknerd13: Don't hate Rose, she is just going to make Sydrian better. :P

Rebelde09: Yes, she totally deserved this! :D .5: Oh, she's jealous and she's hiding it underneath the concern. :D

Katrick - thank you so much for supporting! And don't worry about the spelling D

Guest - thank you so much! :(

Bukwurm13 - Don't worry, review when you can! And here is the next part :)

Catchick10 - hope this one is better! :D

Once again, HAPPY EID TO EVERYONE! No matter if you're a Muslim, Christian, Jew, atheist, Zoroastrian, Buddhist or anything. I LOVE YOU ALL! :D

And Richelle, happy Eid to you too and your wonderful characters! :)

Rose was here for five minutes, and I already wanted to scream. As if Spirit wasn't bothering me enough even without her.

Lissa pulled me into a corner, her face looking concerned. She put her hands on my forehead and closed her eyes. I felt the darkness vanish.

"Lord, what were you doing, Adrian? Were you working in a hospital healing people or something? The darkness is..." Lissa trailed off, looking at me with an astonished expression.

I shrugged. "You know I've never been good at healing." Lissa narrowed her eyes, realization hitting her. She smiled.

"Oh. The spirit dreams, then." I kept my face perfectly blank, remembering how Sydney and I already shared many spirit dreams, first because of Alicia, and later because of Zoe. And Sydney was concerned about me, but now that Lissa temporarily healed me and lifted the darkness, I was ready for at least another twenty.

Lissa's giggle brought me back into reality. "You forget I can see auras," she said proudly. "And your aura is full of red, which means affection." She put her knuckles on her mouth and screamed.

Instantly embarrassed, I turned away from her. I couldn't deny, not to Lissa. Jill was like my little sister, but I felt that way about Lissa too. After all, she introduced me to the world of spirit. And no, I couldn't lie to her.

Sensing my mood shift, Lissa came closer and put her arm on my shoulder gently. "You can tell me, Adrian. You know how Rose is. She just can't get over the fact that there's someone who isn't madly in love with her." She rolled her eyes and gently said, "It'll pass. You know you can trust me."

I decided to let her in just a little, knowing she was going to find out anyway. "She is... Beautiful, Liss," I started. "People told her all her life that she isn't, but she is wonderful, in any clothes. And since the first time I saw her, I forgot about Rose completely. When she said that smoking was unhealthy, I stopped smoking. When she asked of me to cut the drinking to a glass, I did it. When she begged me to stick to the college she enrolled me in and paid for it, I did."

I paused for a second, catching my breath. Lissa was watching me intently - probably just my aura.

With a sigh, I continued. "She has her own problems and, for the first time in my life, someone accepted my help. She doesn't treat me like a downworlder. She sees what my bad sides are and fights them. And she loves me for me." If only I could just show her, Lissa would understand. But I couldn't, partially because Rose was having an intense argument with her.

Lissa glanced in their direction and stood next to me. "Then what is the problem?" she gently said.

I quickly turned away. "Nothing. She's forbidden to me. No big deal."

Lissa smiled slightly. "Does she know about your feelings?"

I laughed, the hysteric kind of a laugh. "Oh, I spelled it out for her many times. I've never been as happy as I am when I'm with her. And she feels the same." I chuckled. "It's funny, because Nathan made it all possible by giving me the money for-" and I spoke my next words without thinking, "the Ivashkinator."

My eyes widened as I turned around. Lissa was looking towards Sydney now, smiling. She glanced at me. "I knew it when you said 'forbidden'. And you are right - she is beautiful. I just never thought you'd go for..."

I finished for her. "Humans. But Liss, that is just one aspect of her. She is many things."

Lissa nodded. "I guess I understand. How often do you feed from her?" She asked this question as if it was perfectly normal.

I froze. "What?" I said in a high voice, thinking that I must have misheard her or something. "Did you just say 'feed'?"

Lissa's face still looked perfectly innocent. "If you don't do it, I don't see the point of you being with her. And you've done it with Rose," she added, "so don't play all innocent on me!"

I felt my temper rise. "Were you there a minute ago, when I told you about why I loved her? And I am different now. I'd never do to her what I did to Rose."

Lissa's face was flushed, but her eyes were cold. "No. You haven't changed at all, Adrian. You're still an impulsive child." At that she turned around and went towards Rose.

Rose stopped arguing with Sydney as she saw Lissa approach. I caught Sydney's concerned look and started walking towards the car.

So even Lissa thought like that about me. Even Lissa thought I only saw matherialistic usage in girls? That hurt. I seriously didn't expect that from her. I thought we were alike, that we could understand each other.

I was obviously very, very wrong.

I couldn't get the dreadful thoughts out of my head even as I drove towards Clarence's. Not even the sight of Sydney in the back seat with two dhampirs and a Moroi didn't make me smile. Not even Christian's astonished reaction when Sydney sat next to him and didn't flinch. She insisted that Lissa, as the queen, needed to be on the front seat, beside me.

She didn't mind, but I did. I couldn't watch Lissa's innocent face.

How could she be calm after saying that to me? Did they all really think I was that bad?

So before I got angry, I decided to tune into the girl fight - part two.

"Just tell me! Something is obviously wrong. For example, do you know that a Moroi is touching you with his arm?" Rose shouted and growled in frustration.

"Rose, I've changed," Sydney said calmly. "You can't expect that I pass out every time I see a Moroi after I've been living with one." That's my girl. Use Jill as a diversion.

And Jailbait, I said through the bond, you are so going to pay for telling Rose I have a girlfriend.

"You are imagining the spirit darkness," Dimitri said and touched Rose's cheek. I felt jealousy course through me, but not because Dimitri was touching Rose. It was because he could touch her without being sent of to the Keepers.

"Calm down," Dimitri continued in a gentle voice and Rose nodded, looking him in the eyes. The wild tiger was put in a cage. I started liking the Russian Dracula more and more.

"Sydney, may I ask you a question?" Lissa said and I immediately looked at her, but she ignored me. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Oh, she wanted war? She was so going to get war. 'You can trust me, Adrian'. Oh yeah. She was really good in pissing me off.

"I..." Sydney stammered, all eyes on her.

"You do," Rose said. "Sydney Sage has a boyfriend and Adrian Ivashkov isn't in love with me anymore. What's next? You guys are going to announce that you're getting married next week? Jill is pregnant?" She sighed and tucked herself in Dimitri's chest, shifting her gaze outside the window.

"One," Sydney said coldly, "Adrian and I are not getting married. Two, Jill certainly isn't pregnant. And three, pull over, Adrian. Rose was right - I can't take this anymore." She turned towards Christian. "No offense, Christian."

He nodded. "None taken."

"Well, Sage, I'm sorry but you're stuck in here for another five minutes." I grinned, but she just turned towards the window.

They say that two girls fighting over a guy is hot. Believe me, it's not.

After five minutes of awkward silence, I pulled over at Clarence's. Sydney and Rose were out before I even stopped the car. Lissa also came out without a word.

I turned towards Christian and Dimitri. "Women," we said at the same time.

"Rose is acting weird lately. I think it's because I'm counting days until she turns 20 that I can marry her," Dimitri said with a frown. "What's your excuse?" he looked at Christian.

"Spirit darkness," Christian said and rolled his eyes. "Lissa gets angry about nothing in particular."

"And Sydney?" Dimitri asked, looking at me.

"I made her drink a cup of coffee daily. I think I might need to lock her up in a rehabilitation centre or something," I said and smiled.

"Man, I missed you," Christian said. "Living in a society where nobody understands sarcasm is killing me."

"Would you trade that for living with teens? I volounteer." I said and smirked.

"And I'd gladly stop giving my blood for tests," Dimitri said and sighed. "Let's try to stop the girls from murdering each other." He said that and went out.

"Just one more question," Christian took my wrist in his hand, stopping me from getting out.

He looked at me intently. "Is she blonde?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I laughed and got out, saying, "You bet, Ozera. She's as blond as Lissa."

Zoe was terrified, but her determination was stronger than her fear and she bowed in front of Lissa, while Sydney was standing beside her protectively. Christian was already catching up and I heard him say, "Are you two sisters? You certainly don't look alike,"and then he laughed, seeing Zoe's horrified expression.

Rose and Dimitri were talking with Eddie. They occasionaly nodded with their heads as he updated them on Neil's, Angeline's and his own guarding schedules. Neil was ignoring Angeline and Clarence stood in the doorway, muttering something about Christmas.

I knew exactly who was missing and why. The bond worked one-way, but I still knew Jill's way of thinking.

When I entered her room, she was waiting. Her jade eyes were glassy. Okay, I didn't know it was that bad.

Jill started shaking and sobbing as soon as I pulled her into an embrace. I soothed her and rocked her gently while she cried her soul out.

"Will you ever be," and she sniffed, "able to forgive me?" Her voice broke and she started crying harder.

I raised an eyebrow. Forgive her? What did she do? I obviously got it all wrong.

Jill laughed through tears, still in my chest. "You already forgot. For telling Rose that you have a girlfriend, silly!"

"Oh, that," I said slowly. It took only a milisecond for me to decide. I kissed Jill's forehead and shook my head. "Crazy Jailbait, crying because of nothing. I'm not angry at you. I don't know how to do that."

Jill pulled away, her eyes swollen and bloodshot, the jades shining like crystals on her face. "Really? But now she suspects something..."

I smiled and hugged her tight. "Don't be hasty. We'll work it out. I've dealt with angry Rose before. Besides, her partner is there to keep her in check."

Jill smiled at that and nodded, saying honestly, "I am so sorry, Adrian. I wasn't meaning to, but I couldn't control myself." Then she frowned. "You thought I was crying because of...?"

"Now you're acting silly," I said, smiling. "Because of Lissa, of course."

Jill froze, realization hitting her face and she immediately got up and started brushing her hair, applying make-up and stuff she already did.

"Jailbait," I said, concerned. She was nervous and I knew it was because her sister was the queen and expected so much from her.

Jill continued, as if she didn't hear me. I groaned.

"Jillian Mastrano, if you don't stop doing that, I am going to compel you into thinking your hair is falling off!"

Jill immediately turned around. "You see, Adrian? You are the only person who loves - and remembers - Jillian Mastrano. I can never be that person again. Did I choose this?" Fire was blazing in her eyes as she threw her arms in the air.

"No," I cut her off. "You can't have your safe world or your dad. You can't imagine your mom as a saint anymore. You can't go to St. Vlad's anymore. But you can still be Jillian Mastrano, even though you're a Dragomir now. You can still love like Jillian Mastrano did. You can be loyal, and caring, and fierce, and share a psychic bond with the man you had a crush on. And if your heart is like Jailbait's, then you still are her. No royalty, money or tradition can change who you are."

Jill was watching me with widened eyes the whole time, her mouth open. It was as if she was carved of stone - she was beautiful, but frozen in the moment.

And then the moment ended. Jill threw herself at me and laughed. "Since now on, I'll call you like the law requires. Brother."

I kissed her forehead, glad that my honesty speech worked. "Love you too, Jailbait."

Jill kissed my cheek and went out, smiling. I shook my head. I was giving inspirational speeches now. What was next - doing manual labor? That would be... Cataclysmic.

"Adrian," a familiar, feminine voice said from the doorway.

I nodded. "Rose. This is Jill's room, so make yourself comfortable."

Rose shook her head. "No, I'll be fast." She took a deep breath, shifting uncomfortably. "I am sorry for my behaviour. I am just curious. And concerned."

I chuckled. "You see that? You're concerned. I'm older than you, and I guarantee you I can take care of myrelf."

Rose was getting greener by the seconds. "You've been used too many times! I feel like I'm responsible for you!" She was honest, but she didn't understand how bad her words were and how much they stung.

I laughed bitterly. "Responsible? Do you even hear yourself? You're not my mom, Rose!" I shouted, spreading my arms.

"No. Last time I checked, she was in Tarasov," Rose said, dead-serious.

I should have walked away, but she hurt me too much. "And last time I checked, your mom was running away from you and Abe. Was Janine his bloodwhore or something?" I raised an eyebrow, challenging her.

The door of the room opened and I turned my head, seeing Sydney. She was smiling with that wonderful smile that belonged to me.

But I had a milisecond to adore the moment. Then I heard something very loud, that sounded like a slap. It felt like slap too.

I glanced at Rose, who was breathing hard. A girl just slapped me. Wow. The last of my dignity fell through my fingers, and I saw Sydney's shocked face.

I was even more pleased when she swore. For me. "What the hell, Rose?!"


	31. Chapter 7, part three (Part two later)

Rose raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. "What?" she said, still breathing hard. "He deserved it."

I put my hand on my cheek. Yeah, when a dhampir guardian hit you, it hurt. "I think you broke my jaw," I said mockingly and dramatically.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Shut up. You deserved it and you know it."

"And you re qualified to tell him that since when?" Sydney said in a high tone.

"Oh, come on, Sydney," Rose said with a sigh. "I had to slap the boy since he was doing his 'I'm the invincible Adrian' thing."

"Well, first of all, Adrian is not a boy," Sydney said bitterly, her blonde hair composed around her perfectly. Her facewas flushed and her eyes blazed with passion I've never seen before. I, obviously, wasn't the only protective partner in this relationship. My stomach fluttered.

"He is a man," Sydney continued and that made me smile. "Two, you had no right to slap him. You are physically stronger than him and you hurt him. You should apologize, and not act like a drama queen."

Rose opened her mouth and started saying something, but Sydney cut her off with her pointing finger. "And three, he is invincible. If you all stopped treating him like a two-year old, you'd maybe see that."

Rose's aura was shining around her, even though I wasn't trying to see it. Sydney's aura was as purple as... some purple thing? And I knew I had to stop this soon, but I couldn't help enjoying how my girlfriend defended me in front of my ex that broke my heart.

"If he stopped acting like a two-year old," Rose said, her voice showing all her frustration, "Maybe I'd treat him differently. But he can't take care of himself. And you, Sydney, should be the one thinking like this. What happened to you?"

Sydney's mouthed arched upward, and she said in the coldest voice I've ever heard, "I'm capable of seeing people for who they really are, not for who I want them to be. And you, Rose, should be apologizing for using him as if he was a thing made of stone, and expecting for him to just let it go. What happened to the loyal, honest and righteous dhampir I met, that chenged my view of the world? Because I see only a little, afraid girl in front of me now, that thinks she's qualified to judge everyone, but can't see herself."

Rose leaned towards Sydney. "And where is the little, afraid girl I met in Russia? When did she start defending party-boys? And thinking that she was smarter than everyone? Because I see an uptight, sarcastic bitch-"

And, yeah. That's when it happened. Sydney balled her hand into a fist and her hand connected with Rose's face. It was a punch on which Wolfe would be proud. And I unfreezed in that moment, knowing that this went too far, knowing that Sydney's life was in danger now. She was a witch, but she couldn't fight a mad dhampir. And Lissa was probably going to want to execute her for attacking a royal guard. Not that Sydney cared in that moment, being everything except an Alchemist.

I jumped between them and started dividing them, but Rose was starting to scream. "I am going to kill you!"

Sydney was laughing. "Never expected a punch from a little, afraid human?"

I shot a look at her saying 'Don't challenge her; she is dangerous, so stop it'. She nodded and retreated to the far corner of the room.

"I'm going to get Dimitri," she said, becoming her normal self, purple nolonger flashing in the room. Phew. I handled one wild cat. Now there was one left, and she was much, much stronger than I was.

However, when people were angry, they weren't composed or calm. That meant they were easy to compel.

Flash of power surged deep down in me and I stared into Rose's eyes intently. She stopped struggling. "You are going to sleep," I said slowly. "Now."

Rose watched me for another moment, her brown eyes becoming all glassy, and she finally nodded, closed her eyes and I slowly put her on the ground.

I barely managed to put her on the bed (that's how heavy she was), when Dimitri came in.

His dark eyes quickly saw the situation and he relaxed. "Compulsion," he concluded and nodded. "I wouldn't have been able to calm her any other way."

Dimitri sat on the bed, besides Rose, and he started pulling his fingers through her hair. I sat on the ground, my back facing the wall.

"I think she's acting like this because of many things," Dimitri said, deep in thought. "She is no longer bonded with Lissa, and that is bothering her. She was used to jumping into Lissa's body when she wanted to get away from her thoughts."

I nodded. "Jill told me that the bond proved to be a good thing for her."

Dimitri sighed. "And I'm pursuing her to marry me. I mean, why wait? We could die in any moment. I learned to appreciate every second of my life, and I want to spend them with her. She wants the same, but she is afraid of being legally someone's wife. Why? Perhaps because her mom never married, because she can't stand the fact to wear a wedding ring, or to change her surname into Belikov?" He sighed again. "She wants to wait. And I don't want 's been like this since our trip to Russia two months ago."

I laughed. "Put yourself in her shoes, man. She is 18 and a tall Russian guardian older than her asks her to marry him every day. That is frustrating." Not that I thought about asking a 18-year old human marry me, not that I'm older than her and that I want to have kids… But I knew how she'd react. It took her months to admit that she loved me, how much would it take to admit it to everyone else? And we'd be in so many problems, because it'd be scandalous. And that's exactly why I liked the idea so much.

"And, I guess she is a little jealous," Dimitri continued, looking at me. "She kind of had you on her palm for so long and she was used to you complimenting her and everything. Now that she lost that, she can't help but think there's someone else, prettier than her." He scratched the back of his neck. "Don't get me wrong, I know that she's crazy in love with me, but I don't show it a lot. Except that I ask her to marry me every morning. And you are more handsome."

At that, I laughed and shook my head. "Don't get your self-confidence killed," I said through a laugh. "She'll get over it all. And in the end, she's going to come back running into your hands. I saw it in your auras – if soul mates exist, then it's you two."

Dimitri smiled and I started to leave, holding myself so that I didn't start running for Sydney, but Dimitri stopped me with a single sentence. "I see it in Sydney and you," he said calmly.

I froze. Oh, man. Was it that obvious that the whole USA would find out in the next two days? Okay, Jill had to know. Then Lissa. Then Dimitri. And Sydney told me about Angeline. And Neil, that bastard. Who was next- Eddie? Christian? Zoe? Rose? Thinking about their reactions, I didn't know if I should cry or laugh. It was tragicomic.

"I know it since I was here with Sonya," Dimitri continued. "I realised you were in love with her when you protected her after Sonya asked for her blood. And I realised Sydney was in love with you when she asked from us to get Lissa to talk with your father."

I slowly turned around, remembering those moments. Yeah, my Sydney was badass. "We are crazy in love," I said, looking into Dimitri's calm eyes, "But soul mates? I wouldn't call us that," I said, my mouth turning into a smile.

Dimitri shook his head. "I was fascinated when I saw you dance at the wedding. And afterwards, Sydney was so freaked out, mostly by what Rose said to her." He smiled. "She said that you looked like you belonged together, and she became as pale as a wall."

I laughed. "Yeah, that was the denial phase." I was actually enjoying this conversation. Who'd say that the Russian didn't judge, or that he wasn't disgusted, or thatb he figured it out on his own? Or that he didn't say anything to Rose?

"I'm glad you're both happy, Adrian. Rose and Lissa look at you as if you were a little child who needed help with everything, but Sydney knows better. She sees beyond your mask, because she also wears one. We all do." That was kind of morbid, but it was awfully correct. Dimitri was burdened with his ex-Strigoi status. Christian was burdened with his parents-Strigoi status. Sydney was burdened with child-abuse status. I was burdened with child-abuse status. Lissa, Rose? They weren't burdened with anything. They had everything in their lives and thought that they were capable of telling others how to act. Okay, Lissa lost her parents and Rose was a school-dropout and a fugitive, but they handled that perfectly.

I just nodded at Dimitri. "Yeah, I guess we do. And I guess I better find her before she murders someone. Did you know she just punshed Rose?"

Dimitri was shocked. "She did?"

I laughed, and as I left the room, I said, "Because Rose called her a bitch."

I heard Dimitri say, "What?" but I was already gone.


	32. Chapter 7, part three: Understanding

Author's note: This is just for TheHappyLol. Tomorrow morning we're back to normal with a long note mention everyone and a few more things.

Can I go to sleep now?

I won't lie - finding Sydney while trying to avoid everyone wasn't easy. I ducked behind a vase when Neil passed by, leading Christian and Lissa to their rooms. I had to enter Angeline's room (which was, thankfully, empty, but very messy) to avoid Zoe. And I had to greet Clarence.

I did expect to find Sydney in her room, but I wasn't shocked when I realised she wasn't there. It took a lot of thinking to realise where she went, since she didn't have a car.

That's where I was wrong. Since I left my keys in the ignition, Sydney was able to leave. Alone, without me. I kicked a stone in frustration, not even flinching from the pain that came next. Now she was going to be alone, terrified and frustrated, realising she just had a fight with her dhampir friend and that she actually hit someone.

So I just stood there, trying her cell phone and being turned to voicemail a million times. I left messages like, "Damn it, just pick up," or "Sydney, I am going to report that my car was stolen if you don't answer". I was in the middle of composing an enraged 40-second message in my mind when somebody interrupted me.

Silver aura, green dress, blonde hair. Me? Also silver aura, green eyes, denim trousers with my hands in my pockets, blue button-up shirt, ridiculously handsome as always. Adding to the effect - the cold wind rustling our hairs, reminding us all that it was supposed to be winter here. Thankfully, the sun was behind clouds so it didn't bother us.

"You decided to watch me pity myself or what?" I asked playfully, smirking. The words Lissa said to me still stung, but seeing her innocent face, the time that passed after our fight and Rose's outburst did make everything seem ridiculous.

Lissa came closer and sighed. "I am sorry, Adrian," she gently said. "I know you. I shouldn't have said what I said. I shouldn't have made that conclusions."

"Can't you simply look at my aura?" I said simply. I felt easier now that Lissa apologized.

"I didn't even think about that," Lissa continued. "I guess we all expected things like that from you for too long. I mean, one look at you is enough to see how much you changed. After Rose left you, your eyes were dull. Now they're warm and full of passion. You laughed only sarcastically; now you laugh honestly. You didn't drop your cigarrettes then; now you don't even need them. You've evolved so much..." she stopped, looking at me intently, pride in her eyes. "You are not a child anymore. I am glad that I believed in you. I knew you'd become a wonderful person." She smiled.

I was taken back by this. I frowned, thinking that this must be spirit making me hallucinate, but Lissa kept smiling.

I smiled too, realising I had a friend who understood me except Sydney and Jill. I hugged Lissa tight and murmured in her ear, "Thank you so much, Lissa."

"You just need support," Lissa said as she started laughing. "I don't know Sydney yet, but if she loves you as much as I do, I'll like her."

I laughed. "Sage just has to pretend because of her sister. When you get to know her, you'll love her."

Lissa leaned back, her expression confused. "Why does she have to pretend? What's wrong with her sister?"

"She is an Alchemist, Lissa," I said with a sigh. "If they found out she didn't fall unconcious after seeing a vampire, they'd brainwash her in an underground bunker."

Lissa looked horrified by this. "Adrian, perhaps it is not smart..." she started.

I cut her off. "We can't live like that, Lissa, longing for each other. We'll fight for this with all we got." I said it passionately and I meant every word.

Lissa looked like she wanted to protest for a second, but then her mouth became a thin line and she nodded, looking like a queen declaring a war. "I will support you," she said. "I believe in love, and races don't matter. Your happiness does."

I hugged her again, too happy to keep it all in. "I love you, Lissa." Then I remembered something important. "We will talk about Court gossip later," I said and winked after she smiled knowingly, "but now you need to go to your sister. And you two need to have a talk." I looked at her like a father, and then I decided to add one more important thing. "You need to talk to Rose too. She overdid it."

Lissa sighed. "She's been having a hard time lately," she said in a hard tone.

"I know. Dimitri told me," I said.

Lissa looked shocked by this. Did she think I'd never be friends with Dracula?

"He did?" she finally said. "Rose didn't tell me they had a talk."

I nodded. "Yeah, they did. He's taking it very well."

Lissa's face fell. "It's an act because he's a trained guardian. How would you act, knowing you couldn't have a child? Poor Rose and Dimitri."

I definitely didn't expect that. "Wait, what?" I asked, trying to process Lissa's words.

Lissa looked at me, confused. "You said Dimitri knew that Rose was frustrated because they couldn't have children and that it's the only reason she won't marry him yet?"

And that was even more unexpected. "What?" I said again. It was the only word I was able to say.

Lissa sighed. "Don't look so shocked. Dhampirs can't have children. That's the main reason they don't marry. Rose is past the age difference, but she realised this recently. I'm the only person she told, so don't tell anyone."

"Ah. It all makes sense now," I voiced my thoughts.

Lissa nodded, looking very sad. "And when she sees you, she remembers the future she could've had with you. And everyone else being happy in a way she'll never be isn't fair, so she takes it out by being angry." She put her hand on her face. "I'd give anything to help her, but there's no way."

Rose's act wasn't just childish now. It had a very awful reason. I was sad for her, wanting her and Dracula happiness. Hell, I loved her once. Of course I wanted her to be happy. Couldn't she want that for me too?

I hugged Lissa. "It's okay, Liss," I said, seeing that her eyes were shining with tears.

Lissa sniffed. "It'll be okay. We'll find a way," she said, more to herself than to me.

"I hope so," I said honestly. "I really do."


	33. Chapter 7, part four: Trusting Him

Author's note: Okay. This is going to be a long, long one so if you're not among the reviewers, skip that part.

First of all, I want to say that I'm sorry for prolonging this note, but I was so sleepy because of Eid. I am also very happy, so I have a great inspiration now :D

And thankfully, it's not 40 degrees anymore, so I'm able to breathe.

Now, let's get serious. I really have to re-read VA, since I thought Lissa could heal the darkness, but the books are on my USB, and guess what? I don't have a computer :(

I also totally messed Rose and Lissa up. I was angry at Rose for breaking Adrian's heart, but I overdid it. I would just re-write the chapters, but I can't without a computer. So I hope you'll understand :)

Now, Lilietje99, Sam1405, damonforever86, CherrySlushLover and TheHappyLol are on a vacation, while MilankaLovesMetal, KeepCalmAndDream, HopperIvashkinator, rose and sydney ivashkov are really busy, but I didn't forget my girls and don't frustrate yourself for not being able to review! I love you and I know you love me too. I am so excited to hear your opinions when you're back :D

My beautiful army of reviewers:

1. Catchick 10 - thank you so much!

2. Totalbooknerd13 - what's there to say? There's your review on every chapter.

3. Laly0001 - glad you loved it!

4. Rebelde09 - I couldn't have Lissa and Adrian fight, I didn't have the heart.

5. Katrick - oh my God, that made me laugh. It's the first time someone told me I rock. And a lot of thinking is put up in this. And Adrian is the opposite of Dracula, so I thought he'd consider it as an offence :D

6. Bukwurm13 - my fellow friend, you didn't abandon me. Sydrian coming, but I'm afraid of the biting scene!

7. KyKat - ah, I guess someone had to do this. They'll get better, though.

8. Pixie's - born and proud of it! And Rose got what she deserved it. I can't wait for the trailers! And the name of book number five.

9. Alexandrabelikov - phew, you loved it! I'm so glad.

10. Jpitt - well hello there, new reviewer.

And okay. This is going to be weird, bad, crazy and awful but the next is "Sydney Sage that was some steamy right there" and I just had to write this. So yes, this is a Sydrian scene and yes, this is the biting scene. I'll try to make it as far away from Twilight as possible and please don't be harsh since I don't know that many words to actually describe it.

And I love you all. Read and review, follow and favourite. Ask and demand, criticize and fangirl. Everything and everyone are welcome.

Yes, another quote from the real chapter one. I thought the moment was perfect, so try to like it :)

Richelle Mead, unfortunately, doesn't own only the plot.

Okay, here it comes, brace yourselves!

I was starting to freak out. I didn't know how to find Sydney, since I didn't have a car, and even if I had my Mustang, I wouldn't know where to look for her.

I decided to think about that later; first I had to find a car.

Clarence turned out to be a psychich, since he showed up in the doorway, asking me if I needed his Jaguar. I couldn't believe it at first - he wasn't taking a nap, he was offering me his car and he knew where Sydney went.

"I saw her fumble with keys," he said thoughtfully. "She took the silver one and a black one and left. I figured you'd need a car, since she took your car keys."

I hugged the old man. "You just saved my relationship," I said, grinning. In a minute everything changed - now I knew where Sydney was and I had a way to get to her. Not that I knew how she got the key of my apartment. Honestly? I didn't care. She was okay. She just didn't want to answer my calls.

Clarence was saying something about vampire hunters, so I took that as a sign to leave.

And man, Clarence's Jaguar was fast. Or maybe it was just my enthusiasm for finally getting a moment with her? And I still couldn't understand how Clarence managed to hide this awesome car from me. It wasn't fair.

I was becoming increasingly nervous as I pulled up in front of the apartment. The Mustang was there, and a wave of relief hit me. She was here and she was okay, physically. Now I had to talk to her and pray that she didn't want to leave me. But what if she did? Ever since we started dating, things got ugly. Zoe came. Her parents were getting divorced. Jared was blackmailing her. Rose and the others came. Her sister maybe had an affair with a British dhampir. She was jealous and I was jealous, so we had a fight. Abe wanted her blood. She became a part of a witch coven. Alicia was maybe alive. Marcus was back. She hit Rose. She sweared and someone called her a bitch. The Alchemists were lying to her.

I'd explode if I had all these things happening with me in the middle, not even sure in what I believed.

I sighed and got out. I told myself that if she left me, I'd survive somehow. I'd still be there for her. I'd understand. And it'd hurt like hell.

Thankfully, the door were unlocked. As I entered the apartment, I saw... Sydney's clothes scattered on the floor. I raised an eyebrow, hoping I didn't find her in bed with someone else.

I opened the bedroom door slightly and found her in bed with someone else. With a guy.

She was in my shirt, hugging him. And she was asleep, looking peaceful, too beautiful to be true, her hair scattered everywhere in the bed.

And he... He was looking very happy, also asleep, with a smile on his face. Hell, I'd also be smiling if I was lying next to a dream.

I wasn't sure what to do, so I just stood there, looking at them, until something hit my left leg.

It was Lily; she grinned and ran to the bed.

She bit the guy's ear and dragged him away. And she winked at me. A dragon just winked at me. How didn't Hopper squeak? That crazy callistanna must've put him under a spell or something.

Now that the guy was out of bed, I had free pass to Sydney. I pulled my shirt over my face and threw it on the floor. I slipped under the covers and immediately found Sydney's waist, hugging her to me.

Sydney sniffed, then sighed happily. She was still asleep; she must've been really tired. And she smelled familiar, like the most beautiful mornings of my life.

I smiled and started pulling my fingers through her hair very gently. I sent a message through the bond for Jill to wake us up when we needed to be back.

I snuggled closer to Sydney and fell asleep, her head on my chest, my face in her hair, my hands around her waist.

It was the most peaceful fifteen minutes of my life.

"Adrian," a beautiful voice said. "Wake up."

I smiled, wanting to stay in this wonderful state forever.

But the voice slowly woke me up. "Adrian," it said more loudly, but still gently. "We need to talk."

"Just five more minutes, mom," I said, wanting for the voice to let me go for a little while.

"Okay then. I'm leaving," the voice said, finally leaving me alone.

A familiar weight and warmth left me and I immediately opened my eyes. Blonde haired-tornado was going somewhere, and I instinctively caught the arm of it's owner.

Sydney turned around and smiled, falling back down. "Ah. You're finally awake."

"Good morning," I said, kissing her forehead.

"More like, afternoon," Sydney said, giggling.

I groaned. "We lost valuable making-out time."

Sydney laughed. "Thanks for asking, Adrian. I slept well too."

I immediately looked at her seriously. "Are you okay?"

Sydney's face hardened. She took my hand and started straightening my fingers, not looking at me. "Yeah," she said quietly.

I tilted her chin with my other hand. "No, you're not," I said, looking at her aura."Your aura is grey."

She lifted her eyes to mine and I gasped. She was so, so beautiful.

"I hit Rose," she whispered. "Rose is, or rather, was my friend. But when she called me that..." she shook her head. "I blame myself, but she deserved it. She broke your heart, cut all ties with you, and now she comes back with a speech about you not being able to take care of yourself."

"She can't have kids with Dimitri," I said gently, "And that's killing her. When she sees me, she's reminded of the life she could've had if she chose me." Sydney was looking at me intently, something changing in her eyes.

She buried her head in her hands. "I am such an idiot," she said. "I thought she was just egoistic..."

I cut her off, taking her hands in mine. "Sydney," I said strongly and she immediately looked at me. "You were just protecting me. It's nobody's fault."

"But I should've known..." Sydney started in a high-pitched voice.

I cut her off again, shaking my head. "You tried to do the right thing. Rose's words hurt. You didn't do anything wrong. Thank you."

"But..." she stammered, frowning and I rolled my eyes. I knew there was only one way to stop her from talking.

And I've been away from her for too long. So I just pressed her up against me and kissed her hungrily. Sydney responded equally, if not with more force.

A minute later, we were both breathing hard. Sydney's face was flushed and she was smiling, but a moment later that smile faded and she tried to roll over and turn away from me. I didn't let her.

"Okay, Sage, I am getting scared, so could you please just tell me what's wrong?" I said in a voice that was supposed to hide my emotions. It didn't hide them.

Sydney just simply said, "My mom called." I knew that wasn't the reason why she was acting like this, but decided to wait a minute longer before I pinned her to the wall and demanded answers.

"I lied to her," Sydney continued. "Adrian, I told her I was an Alchemist now and that I was going to choose dad's side." She put her head in her hands once more. "I broke her heart," she whispered. "What kind of a daughter am I?"

I pulled her hands away and cupped her head in my hands. "You are a loving, caring, brave daughter that's going to choose the right thing," I said gently.

We watched each other for a long moment, Sydney's eyes red, but I still thought they were beautiful. She was the most beautiful when she was in this fragile state.

I sighed. "But that's not what it is, right?" I said as I trailed the pattern of her golden lily.

"Adrian..." Sydney said and then her voice broke.

"Just tell me," I whispered, my stomach sinking. This was it - she was going to tell me she was leaving me. "Whatever it is."

Sydney watched me for another moment and I tried to save the moment in my memory - Sydney, her beautiful, golden eyes, her golden hair, her warm, familiar breath on my cheek, her body pressed up with mine, her hands on my bare chest, my hands firm on her waist, our legs tangled.

But the most beautiful of all was her look that pierced through my whole body, seeing my soul. I've never felt this exposed and this safe with anyone else. I knew my secrets were safe with her. Sydney was my home, my only home. Ever since aunt Tatiana died, I had no home, no love. Now, when I finally found that, I was going to lose it. Because we belonged to different races.

I closed my eyes, not able to look at that perfection anymore. I felt tears stinging the backs of my eyes and even though my eyes were closed, I could still see that look, those golden eyes. They would haunt me forever, I knew.

"I want you to..." Sydney started and stopped, taking another deep breath. Huh. She was going to be original.

She found her strength. This was it. You wouldn't cry, Adrian. Not in front of her. "I want you to bite me," she said quickly.

I thought I misheard her. "What?" I whispered, opening my eyes in shock.

Sydney nodded, fear radiating off of her. "I know I ask a lot, since you're risking to drink bad blood, but I hoped you'd still do it."

I pulled away. I thought I must've been hallucinating. "Are you kidding me?" I said strongly, finally finding my voice.

But there was nothing mocking in her expression. She was watching me dead-earnest.

Sydney's face became hurt and she started to turn away. "I'm sorry. I understand. I- I'll go." Her voice was panicked. I took her wrist and pulled her to me.

"Sydney," I said strongly and she immediately looked me. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and I wiped them with my thumbs. "I am not declining. I am just too shocked to say anything." I looked at her, my mouth still half-opened, and I decided to add, "I'm totally freaking out. I need an explanation."

If I wasn't freaking out, the want and need would be killing me. Sydney's blood was sacred for me. When that Strigoi bit her long ago... The darkest part of me wished I was on her place. The darkest part of me wished I could taste her blood. And even darker part of me wished she enjoyed it. If I knew then that Sydney, my girlfriend, would be in my bed, asking me to bite her, I would've volunteered as a patient in a mental hospital.

"Explanation?" Sydney said and smiled, taking my hands in hers and looking at them. She was adorable; I bit my lower lip, supressing the urge to chuckle and kiss her.

"I've been thinking about this for a long time. Ms. Terwilliger told me that I had nothing to fear and that if I did this and my blood proved not to be repulsive, that'd be the ultimate proof. I mean, Abe bit her and she is alive."

She smiled and looked into my eyes. "Sooner or later, someone is going to do it and if it has to happen, I'd prefer you did it. You are the only person I trust that much."

I gasped. She wasn't kidding with me. My Sydney Sage, my deepest and strongest desire, she wanted... She wanted to do it. It was not going to be like it was with Dorothy, I knew. It wasn't going to be like it was with Rose, or with anyone else.

"Sydney, are you completely, totally, one hundred percent sure?" I whispered.

Sydney nodded, suddenly becoming nervous. Her gaze shifted to our hands, our interwined fingers, again. I felt nervous too, hoping and dreading she was going to say 'No' now.

She glanced at me again and smiled. "I am."

"Now?" I whispered again, leaning back a fraction. I could feel my heart starting to beat faster. To be honest, I haven't fed in two days. But that didn't matter. I didn't care about anything except her and the way touching her drove me wild, even as her calm and steady presence soothed the storms that raged within me. My hands were burning where she touched them. My legs were burning. I was burning, completely and intently.

And I combusted when she looked into my eyes with her fiery gaze and said strongly, "Now."

I didn't even know a person could move that fast. My breath was suddenly on her neck, my hands running along her arms and up to her face. As I pressed her up to my body, my left hand went to her back to support her and my right hand was in her hair, on the back of her head.

"I love you," I whispered softly in her neck and kissed her pulseline. She shuddered at the touch, and I chuckled. So she was enjoying this too.

I braced myself for the most intense ten seconds of my life and made a mental note not to take too much.

And then it happened. She shivered as my fangs pierced through her flesh. I shivered too. She flinched at the pain but as the endorphins started coursing through her veins, she pressed herself harder to me and sighed. A second later she started moaning my name.

So she was feeling good. While she was in a total bliss, I was living through the most beautiful moments of my life. Her blood was like nothing I've ever had before, and I tried some heavy drugs. Strigoi prefered dhampirs but Rose tasted like water compared to Sydney. My fingers tangled in her hair. She smelled, tasted, looked and felt wonderful. I was addicted to her, I knew immediately.

A thought passed through my head - Sydney's blood wasn't repulsive. I was too overwhelmed by her to think about it, or anything else.

Sydney's moans were soft whispers now and I knew I had to stop. I didn't want to hurt her. I slowly pulled back and immediately kissed the soft skin on her neck, healing her.

I slowly put her down on the bed, since we were kind of hovering in the air. Sydney's eyes were closed and I worried that I overdid it, but her eyelids slowly fluttered open and she smiled. Her shaking hands weakly pulled me on top of her and she whispered into my ear, "Oh my God."

I laughed and kissed her cheeks. I was so happy. I was too happy. I felt like I was flying.

"I feel like I'm flying," Sydney continued, her pupils enormous, her irises just a ring at the corners of her eyes.

I kissed her forehead. "Rest now," I whispered. "We'll talk about it later."

Sydney nodded gently, her body still shaking a little and I hoped I didn't take too much blood. I rolled away, but her hands were weak on my back, demanding of me to hug her.

I grinned and rolled on my back, pulling her head on my chest. I put one of my arms on her back, realising that half of my shirt was down her shoulder. I put it back on its place, thinking to myself that I was going to preserve that shirt forever, thinking how I was going to paint this moment a million times.

Sydney was asleep in a moment, probably in some wonderful place. I pulled my fingers through her hair and closed my eyes. I couldn't believe that this actually happened. I couldn't believe that one of my darkest fantasies became reality. I couldn't believe that Sydney let me taste her blood.

Ah, God, I've never felt this complete before. This was the piece that was missing. The only more intense thing I could think about was making love with her. And I definitely wasn't ready for that.

So I contented myself with feeling like a boy in love. Were those butterflies in my stomach? My heart hammered in my chest and I could hear it in my ears. I was breathing fast and I tried to calm myself. I could get used to doing this every day and I'd never get tired, I knew. She'd always taste like heaven, I knew. But I knew that this was never going to happen again so I just thanked God and memorised this. This was the top of my life now, these 10 seconds.

I didn't realise I fell asleep until I felt a gentle kiss on my neck bring me back to conciousness.

When I opened my eyes, there she was - her eyes, with pupils that shrinked a little, and the most beautiful smile in the world.

"Hey," she whispered shyly, retreating back on my chest.

I laughed. "Don't get shy now, honey. I still feel the same about you," I said and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm not sure if it was just bad or really bad," she whispered, her head burried in my chest.

I closed my eyes. "I can't even describe it, Sydney. It was the most intense thing that ever happened to me," I honestly said.

Sydney lifted her head, her expression concerned. "That bad?"

I shook my head. "I'll be honest. I want to do it again, and again, and again, until the day I die." I sighed then. "Don't worry. I wouldn't even touch you if you said so."

Sydney laughed. "I've never felt anything like that ever before. The whole disappeared. All that was left was your name on my lips."

Did that mean she wanted to do it again? Before I let myself hope, I said, "And something else on your lips," and I started kissing her.

This kiss was different than all others we ever shared. This one sealed another part of our relationship. Sydney wasn't going to leave me. She was a thousand miles closer now, and I loved it. I loved everything.

And we'd worry about everything else later. All thoughts banished as her hands roamed along my chest and my back, and I decided to push my luck further by letting my hands slip underneath her-my shirt.

Sydney smiled against my mouth.


	34. Chapter 7, part five: Taking Charge

**Author's note:**_ Okay, I've got to admit - I feared if you'd like the previous chapter. And argh, so many people are busy. I miss my reviewers :(_

_But thankfully, there are also people who have time and who wrote wonderful reviews:_

_-KyKat, showing support for the trust involved in the previous chapter :D;_

_-Alexandrabelikov, who thinks I wrote the chapter very well and she made me smile :P;_

_-Totalbooknerd13, standard support, momentarily keeping me going;_

_-Rebelde09, also standard support, with her review about Sydrian. I just have to say that Rose will find out dramatically and she'll be shocked :D;_

_-Casstella, who wrote a wonderful, long review showing how much she loves my story. Don't worry, it'll have a happy ending :);_

_-Katrick, making me laugh with her review. So glad you liked it, and here comes the new chapter!_

_If the VA trailer, mame of Bloodlines #5 or Sydney's POV chapter are out, please PM me or write it in your reviews! I can't follow Facebook currently :(_

_And seriously, I think I can never thank you enough. Every word you write is not a big deal; it's a HUGE deal. Especially in moments like this, when everyone is away and I'm not sure if anyone is even reading. There's not a single of these 250 reviews that didn't make me happy. I'm writing just to entertain us, but when people tell me my writing is beautiful, I jump around grinning. People from USA appreciate me, and my native language isn't English. Just being able to communicate with you is a wonderful accomplishment for me. I promise to get better, but without a dictionary it's harder :D_

_I love you, guys! I love every moment I've spent here. I've met so many wonderful people and my whole life is different now. You changed me and my view of the world. How can I ever repay you?_

_Guys, when you're back from your vacations and read this, know that I'm expecting 20 ultra-long reviews! :D_

_And my HopperIvashkinator. Introducing this crazy girl to this wasn't easy for you, but you did it. I love you._

_Okay, okay. I'm talking too much. The next tweet is chapter 7, Adrian's POV, but to make it flow easier, I'm going to write as it happened next, and not in the past. Hope you like it!_

_Richelle Mead is awesome and she owns these characters. :)_

_And why didn't I update yesterday? This chapter was really hard to write for me. I hoped to get my laptop and write it in peace (since it's begiining to be a pain on my phone), but unfortunately I can't get it, since nobody's in my aunt's house - everybody is on vacation! Argh. So this is from my mom's computer, probably written fast and in a hurry, and if the scene's not over, it's because I had to go._

* * *

After Jill interrupted Sydney and me "getting to know each other better," telling that Rose woke up, talked with Lissa and Dimitri and calmed down afterwards, and squeaking as the reaction to what happened between Sydney and me, we had to get ready, mentally and physically.

"She is going to kill me," Sydney said as she searched for her clothes on the floor.

I laughed. "I doubt it. If Wolfe saw that punch, he'd let you touch his katanas."

Sydney looked at me and burst out laughing. "How can I laugh in a situation like this?" she said as I found my shirt. I dressed myself and Sydney said coldly with a raised eyebrow, "Turn around."

I growled and did as asked. I could hear her undress and I knew that I'd be the happiest man alive if she turned around. Okay, I guess I was asking a bit too much. I let the new thought sink in - Sydney let me bite her. She was an Alchemist and I knew how hard it was for her, but I still smiled. She trusted me. She loved me. She loved me enough to give her blood to me. My stomach flipped. Dear Lord, when did I get so lucky? I mean, why would she fall for me? Yeah, I was extraordinary handsome, but for brainiacs like Sydney that wasn't important. I was an alcoholic, half-crazy 22-year-old who did nothing with his life so far. And I was a vampire, which meant she should've despised me.

But she didn't, and I couldn't help the grin that formed on my face. Yeah, I was in love like a crazy man. And I was happy.

"Okay, let's go," Sydney said and as I turned around, I saw that she arranged all clothes from the floor on the bed, by the color. My crazy girlfriend.

Sydney left first, in Clarence's car. There were a lot reasons for this: if they saw her in the Mustang, they'd immediately get suspicious. And besides, if I showed up 10 minutes later in Clarence's car, it'd be easy to conclude things. Things Sydney and I desperately wanted not to be concluded. And Sydney said she wanted to drive Clarence's car.

So I was left alone in my apartment and I heard a ruffling in the bushes. I turned around and saw a flash of blonde hair disappear behind the corner.

I immediately started running. I prayed to God that I was wrong, but no; even from this distance I could clearly see the indigo tattoo on the runner's left cheek.

Marcus Finch. Was that rat spying on us? Why would he do that? I remembered the pink I saw in his aura when he looked at Sydney. He was in love with her. And I already hated him, but this was a whole new category.

I tried to calm myself down. Spirit was fine today - probably, that part of me was too shocked by Sydney's blood to even work properly.

I stood there, watching at the place where Marcus ran off, until my phone started ringing.

"Adrian, where are you?" Jill said dramatically.

"Okay, Jailbait. I'm coming," I said in a light tone. Did that mean Sydney was still alive?

"What? No! Don't go to LA!" Jill continued, deafening with her voice frequention.

"You are the best actor in the world," I said as I entered the car and started driving.

"It's not my fault the bond's not working today! You knew you had to come!" Jill continued.

"I'm ten minutes away, so keep them occupied until then."

"Well, don't talk to me when you come! I hate you," Jill said and hung up.

She deserves Nobel's prize for acting, I thought and chuckled. This bond was the best thing - except Sydney- that ever happened to me. I had an insider who knew my thoughts and always protected my secrets. I had a sister, and the feeling was awesome.

As I pulled up, I saw Eddie standing in the doorway. His hands were across his chest and his expression was very dark. I literally jumped out of the car.

"What happened?" I said, immediately thinking that Rose managed to throw that punch.

Eddie's expression didn't change. Sydney ran past him like a tornado. "I have to go to school," she quickly said. "Adrian, it's a mess up there. I need you to handle it."

I raised my eyebrows. "How bad can it be?" I glanced at Eddie, who was suddenly thinking the door frame was very interesting.

Sydney took my hand in hers and looked at me honestly, without holding her emotions back. "I believe in you," she calmly said and I immediately felt stronger.

"Okay," I whispered. She didn't smile; she just watched me with that beautiful, piercing look of hers.

And in the next moment my hand felt empty. She was gone and I felt lost, frozen. I couldn't do anything without her.

"Adrian," Eddie said gently. "We need to hurry, or they'll start without us."

I turned towards him. "Who? And what?"

Eddie sighed. "The guardian meeting. Because of the phone call."

I still had no idea what he was talking about. "What phone call?" I asked, feeling stupid.

"Someone called saying, 'We know where the princess is. Turn her over and nobody will get hurt.'" Eddie stopped talking, seeing my worried face. My eyes were saying, _Is she okay?_

Eddie just nodded. "Don't worry. I'm leaving her side only because of you. Sydney had to go find Angeline, she is somewhere in school." He sighed. "But we have a problem. Lissa wants to call the mission off and turn her over to Court. You know that in that case, it'd mean our mission failed and we'd be on the edge of a civil war." His voice was desperate. "They killed her once, Adrian. They won't hesitate to do it again. And our superiors will send Sydney and me to go clean the bathrooms, in the best case."

"They can't send her back to Court. That's exactly what they want." My fist connected with the wall. I was so angry. What the hell, Lissa? It seriously wasn't a good idea for a girl to rule with people.

"Well, Sydney was in charge to explain why not, since I don't have any valid arguments except that I have a bad feeling about it," Eddie said, raising his arms.

"Wait a minute. _I_ am supposed to go in there and explain the situation?" I raised an eyebrow. "Is Sydney crazy?"

Eddie shrugged. "She trusts you." He looked at me intently. "Don't make that trust go to waste."

I felt even more angry. Yeah, Adrian is useless. He doesn't know how to do anything without someone else. I wanted to show them I could. But how? What could I say? 'Lissa, you are crazy?'

I had to use Sydney's knowledge. The Alchemists had something to do with this, I was sure of it. But how would they believe me? I was just Adrian Ivashkov, after all. The party boy, the dead weight, the nothing. Why would anyone, except Sydney and Eddie (but Eddie did it because of Jill) stand beside me?

I came closer to the door. My hands were shaking. Eddie was standing behind me, waiting for me to enter and say that everything is somehow solved.

I had no idea what to say, but I opened the door.

**An image of Sydney's face appeared in my mind's eye, calm and lovely.**

**_I believe in you._**

**My anxiety faded.**

**I took a deep breath and met the gazes of all those watching me in the room.**

**Who was I to do this?**

**I was Adrian Ivashkov.**

**And I was about to kick some ass.**

Lissa was sitting at the head of the table, her mouth a thin line on a worried face. Her aura radiated with uneasiness. Christian was sitting near her, watching the scene passively. He was the only one that nodded at me when I entered the room.

Dimitri and Rose were pointing at a map, obviously having an argument. I noticed that everyone in the room except for Lissa, Jill and I, wore black clothes. Yeah, they were some serious guardians. And there were at least ten of them, surrounding my afraid Jill. Eddie was immediately by her side, and he took her hand in his and whispered something in her ear. She smiled, and I sent a message through the bond: _Don't worry, Jailbait. You won't die, not on my watch._

Zoe was standing, also pointing to the map and shaking her head. Her expression reminded me so much of the Sydney I first met - cold, calm, composed. It was as if nothing could break her. And somehow, I felt easier, knowing that she was here. Neil was also there, sitting nea Zoe's chair. They were all looking and pointing at that map, but when I entered, the map was suddenly forgotten. And I was the star of the night.

"Okay, people. I'm here to say that the Palm Springs mission is anything but over."

Some guardians I didn't know raised their eyebrows. Dimitri crossed his arms over his chest and Rose blushed, sitting down, avoiding my gaze. Eddie smiled, and Jill looked at me with a knowing smile.

Lissa spoke first. "Adrian, I'm sure we all appreciate your opinion, but we've got important things to do." She looked at me softly, obviously trying not to make it too painful for me. I didn't blink. "I am glad you were able to attend the meeting. Sydney said that you'd be representing her, and she clearly said that she doesn't want for Jill to go to Court."

I nodded, trying to sound proffesional. You can do this, Ivashkov. Sydney believes you can. "That is correct."

"And could you tell us, why is that?" Neil spoke up. I shot him a look that said 'Shut up'.

Before I could answer, Dimitri pointed to the map and said, "I am also against Jill going to Court. It is not a safe location."

A guardian I didn't know stood up and answered in a harsh voice, "How? There aren't that much guardians anywhere else. If we can't protect her there, then where can we?"

Rose looked at him with narrowed eyes. "That proved to be really good the last time. To remind you," and she shouted her next words, "Jill got killed there!"

Now Zoe spoke. "The Alchemists can protect her. Name a place, and we'll make it real."

"Did you speak with your superiors, Zoe?" Lissa asked her gently.

Zoe's voice sounded a little unsure when she spoke. "No, Sydney did, but I know what they said. They said to agree a new location with the Moroi and notify them immediately so that they can make arrangments as soon as possible."

I chuckled. "That's exactly what they want."

Everyone turned towards me, and I knew that it was my turn. I sighed. "Lissa, I need you to guarantee complete discretion about what I'll say." I looked at everyone. "What is said in this room, stays in this room. Can you guarantee that?"

The guardians started murmuring. My only legitimate fear was Zoe. I was directly exposing her sister, and she could go running to the Alchemists at any moment.

Lissa nodded. "All my men are loyal. The Alchemists, I'm not sure."

I looked at Zoe intently. "If you try to tell anything to your superiors, I will personally make sure that you suffer." Oh, Sydney would have killed me if she heard this. 'How dare I treathen her sister?' I fought the urge to smile. I knew it was necessary, and I knew that Sydney would've just started talking already. I had to make sure she was safe. Zoe's afraid nod proved as much.

"Sydney and I were..." I started and looked at Zoe, hoping she'd understand, "researching some things lately. Sydney tried to find proofs of the Alchemists working with Warriors of Light. In an Alchemist facility was a very interesting video footage."

"St. Louis," Zoe said through the gasp. Realisation hit her face. "She used Ian?" She made a disgusted face, but kept silent when she saw my expression. It was somewhere between angry, jealous and exasperated.

"We discovered that the Alchemists were secretly meeting Wariors of Light. If you don't believe, wait until Sydney comes and shows it on her laptop. Now," I said and crossed my arms over my chest, "What would the Alchemists want with vampire hunters?"

Zoe was looking at me astonished, her mouth half-open. She obviously didn't know who 'Warriors of Light' were, but when I said the common name...

A guardian spoke up. "That doesn't necessarily mean anything," he said. "They could be trying to make some deals, trying to prevent the organisation from killing innocent Moroi."

"That's the problem," I said to him. "Neither of them consider us 'innocent Moroi'. Do you even know what is the ultimnate purpose of these two organisations?" And I raised my arm towards Zoe. She would, I hoped, say the right sentence.

And she did. "To free the whole world from evil," she said in a low voice.

"Translation?" I pursued.

Now Eddie spoke, finally deciding to support me in front of these people. "To kill all Strigoi, Moroi and dhampirs."

I nodded. "Exactly. And what interest do the vampire hunters have in the Alchemists?"

Lissa cut me off. "I understand where you're heading, Adrian, but that isn't one hundred percent..."

Yes, she was the queen. But yes, I was Adrian Ivashkov, so I cut her off. "They have the information about us, and if they told them where Jill is, they could start a civil war among the Moroi!"

"And the Alchemists need them because they are physically capable of murdering Jill. And after all, they'd be clean and all the blame would be on Warriors of Light," another guardian said.

Zoe was shaking her head. She sat next to Neil and started talking. "But that is not true. The Alchemists, they did everything to protect Jill. Why didn't they just kill her immediately?"

"Perhaps they found vampire hunters along the way and they decided to put the blame on them. Maybe they didn't know how to get out clean. If they killed Jill, Moroi and dhampirs would unite in destroying them. This way, they'd have dhampirs, Moroi and vampire hunters all cleaned from the checkboard. And they'd have the ultimate control." This was Dimitri.

Christian shook his head. It was the first time he said anything. I wasn't sure he was even listening. "Perhaps the Moroi assassins were working for the Alchemists all along. Perhaps the Alchemists wanted to put all blame on them." We all nodded. Pyro was a little crazy, but he was smart.

Lissa finally nodded. "This makes sense. But how do we protect Jill now? Obviously, we can't send her to Court, because of assassins, or to any Alchemist location, because of vampire hunters. Where is safe? Palm Springs isn't safe either."

Rose shook nher head. "This will take some planning. We have time, nobody can kill Jill," she paused, looking at Lissa, "or you, Lissa, with a dozen of guardians, and Zoe can just lie to her superiors."

"Sydney will," Zoe said and Rose's face tightened. Oh, so she was angry at Sydney? "She is obviously good in these kinds of things," Zoe continued and put her face in her hands. Neil (who didn't say anything, except for intimidating me at the beginning), came closer to her and started whispering something. Other guardians came closer to the table and they all started pointing at various locations including Australia, Yapan, United Kingdom while Dimitri and Rose shook their heads. Lissa turned towards Christian and started showing something to him using her arms, and he started laughing.

I chose Jill and Eddie were my best option. I sank to the floor near Jill's feet. Eddie was standing, one hand in Jill's, the other on his waist, near the stake. He meant serious business, and I knew he still felt guilty that Jill died once already. With him as her guardian, Jill was going to live up to 200 years.

I smiled and bent to kiss Jill's cheek. She was looking a bit pale, so I raised my eyebrow and whispered, "Did you feed?"

Jill nodded. Her hand (that wasn't gripping Eddie's) was shaking, and her eyes were reddish.

"Adrian, am I going to die?" she whispered, and I laughed.

"You are crazy, Jailbait." She looked at me, waiting for an answer. "No, you are not going to die. You've got a badass guardian who'll kill anyone, anything and everything and everyone who try to even touch you, and you've got a badass handsome guy who can heal you if Castile fails."

She laughed, but only for a moment. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "This whole mess is my fault. If I hadn't showed up in that magazine, or if I had died when the assassins got me..."

I cut her off, taking her head in my hands. "It's not your fault, Jill. You didn't choose to be Moroi princess - the only sibling of the queen. You didn't choose to have to hide among humans. You didn't choose this life. You didn't choose to be Eric Dragomir's daughter. It's not your fault."

She started crying, and I lightly touched Eddie's hand. He immediately bent down, hugging her. "It's okay, Jillian," he whispered. "I'm here. I won't let them come close to you."

I decided that it was my time to leave. My thoughts went to Sydney, doing God knows what, protecting and fighting God knows who in that damn school of hers. What did Angeline do now? I hoped Sydney would be proud when she heard how good I handled this. They trusted me. I acted mature. I saved the whole mission. And I was feeling self-satisfied.

I was standing, leaning on an empty wall, and I didn't notice that there was someone beside me until he spoke up.

"So," Christian said, smirking, "You and Sydney were researching some things lately?" The grin broke from my face and I knew I was in so much trouble.

Was there anyone that didn't know Sydney and I were in a relationship?


	35. Chapter 8, part one: Magic And Alchemy

**Author's note:** _Hey guys! I snatched my laptop! Oh yeah! I'm on wireless now and my laptop battery will die in an hour or so, so I'll post what I manage to write during that period. Then I'll post my chapters from the phone, but it'll go so much faster! Yes!_

_But ahh. I write on my phone for almost a month and now the connection on it seems to be dying (but who wouldn't, in these circumstances?), and I have to pray to get thins loaded, uploaded, updated. Ahh again._

_And yes, my body finally decided that I overdid it. I'm sick. Third ahh, and don't worry. Not many things can stop Ehlimana from doing what she promised. I'm feeling better today, but it can still get bad if I don't take care._

_I've been smiling a lot this morning, since I've got many good reviews and my friend Lilietje99 is back from vacation. She was crazy and wrote 8 beautiful reviews and I love her. She understood what I tried to achieve and made me laugh several times! :D_

_As for my friend Bukwurm13, she also wrote a beautiful long review. She doesn't have a profile, so I'm going to answer it here. So, she was astonished that I put the biting scene into my story. Girl, you should've seen all those reviews after I wrote the author's note about it. People were asking for it, and now they're on vacations and can't read it! :D Thank God it didn't remind you of Twilight. If it did, I would've erased it. You have no idea how excited your constant reviewing makes me! And how happy! So don't thank me, thank yourself for being so awesome. And my books? They're nothing like Richelle's. Not even fictional. Just a bunch of my thoughts in one place. So, let's just pray for you to nail that test on monday! I'm with you, buddy :)_

_Totalbooknerd13 wrote a review in which she said she loves my writing. And I was like, "Awwwww, that's so beautiful!" Don't worry, I won't give up. Just don't give up in making me smile :)_

_Rebelde09 also wrote a beautiful review in which she told me what she thought about the chapter. She loved it! And I'm so glad! I will always mention you and your wonderful support. I'd be crazy if I didn't. :)_

_Katrick told me I rocked and I smiled at that. You certainly rock more! :D_

_And TheHappyLol, who is on vacation, still found time to read and review! Way to go, girl! And I love you too. That was not the reaction I was hoping for. I was hoping for something like, "The bite, the bite! *swoon*" Okay, maybe not :D_

_So guys, if you didn't get it until now, I love you and appreciate your support so much. You are wonderful and please don't give up on me. I'd be empty if you did. Your reviews keep me going and you support me even though I make a lot of mistakes. What can I say, except thank you so infinite much?_

_Fourth ahh. This chapter will be confusing. I know that there's Sydney's POV excerpt from this very scene but I can't access it. I'll keep trying, since it is essential._

_And I did make a big mistake with not starting with school, but I can't just teleport Jill, Eddie, Neil and Zoe from the last chapter. So I am definitely sorry about that, but I hope it's not too big of a deal._

_So yes, I finally found that crazy excerpt. It's on bloodlinesquotes/tfh. It's not that wow, and doesn't have anything too important in it, so I'll just write it on my way and just integrate it into the story._

_And I don't know who was unsure, but TFH trailers are real! PTA confirmed it a few days ago. Any ideas about the #5 name? I just know that it ends with "bs". Tombs? Cribs? In the end, Richelle won't fail in surprising us, I know it. 2,5 K is missing, so go like Bloodlines Official on Facebook if you haven't done it yet!_

_And yes, you've read it 34 times already. These characters don't belong to me! They're Richelle Mead's! :)_

_Okay, here comes the chapter:_

* * *

All hell broke loose.

First queen Vasilisa showed up. Then I argued with Rose about her ex-boyfriend and she called me... A bad name. Then I punched her. Aside from the fact that I punched someone, what astonished me was that I punched a dhampir. I punched my friend. And after that I stole my boyfriend's car and his apartment keys and, not wanting to break down, took a shower. In his apartment. And then I broke down and cried while two callistannas tried to soothe me. And then came the part that my mind couldn't process. I fell asleep and obviously had a dream - I dreamed that I let Adrian... Bite me. A very weird and a very terrifying dream. But when I woke up, he was next to me and I was pretty sure that it wasn't a dream, but I couldn't find any bite marks.

I never managed to ask him. Then we started kissing and Jill interrupted and when I came to Clarence's it was all a mess. Someone who wanted to hurt Jill called and everyone wanted to shut the mission down. Only Eddie understood why I was acting crazy, but then again, only he was in the same position as me. If this mission failed, I'd be sent to Re-education. They were already thinking about it after Rose, and this was my chance to make it right. If I screwed up, I'd be working as an archivist for the rest of my life. Eddie was also on probation because of Rose, so if he failed he'd be an archivist somewhere too. The others? Well, aside from the obvious, Jill's only problem was getting used to a new school and new people. Adrian? His problem was being away from me. And Angeline? It'd be the worst for her. She'd be sent back to the Keepers, to the barbaric, uncivilized life.

That's why I ran to the school. I had no idea what she was doing there. Okay, I maybe knew. The only thing that came to my mind was _Trey_.

I already searched the dorms, the cafeteria and three classrooms when a hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around, hoping to see Angeline in front of me. My hopes were useless - it was Ms. Terwiliger with her glasses and knowing eyes.

"Ms. T.," I said quickly, "I'm kind of in a hurry..." and I almost stormed off to search the other classrooms, but Ms. Terwiliger's words stopped me.

"Melbourne," she said without affection, "I have something very important for you. Come with me." I knew this was something serious, but my teenage instincts won.

"But-" I started and stopped myself, seeing Ms. Terwilliger's face. She looked authoritative, like a mother saying something about not touching hot things to her child.

"Come," she simply said and started walking towards the rooms I didn't check.

_Angeline, please be here making out with Trey_, I prayed as Ms. T. unlocked the history classroom. Of course, Angeline wasn't there - the classroom was empty.

Ms. Terwiliger went over to her desk and started rummaging through her bag, looking for something. She found a set of keys a moment later and opened the last drawer. All that time I stood in the center of the room awkwardly. I felt like a 10-year-old girl before her first dancing performance or something.

"A-ha!" Ms. T. exclaimed, raising her hand in which now was something. I couldn't see what it was.

"What?" I asked, tilting my head to the side, trying to see what was in Ms. T.'s hand.

She came over to me and grinned. "These are for you," she said and put something in my hands.

I looked down. In my hands were three rocks. Okay, that definitely wasn't what I was expecting. Another book, amulets, bracelets... But rocks? Seriously?

I raised an eyebrow and looked up at her. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"These are magical, if you didn't notice," Ms. Terwiliger said.

"But what can I do with them?" I asked, my mind totally blank.

Ms. Terwiliger sighed. "Melbourne. I thought it was obvious."

I didn't say anything. What was I supposed to do with rocks? Throw them at people?

"You are going to practice psychokinesis with those rocks," she finally said, seeing that I had no idea.

"What?" I asked, astonished. "But... why?"

"It is a new part of your magical training," she said. "The next phase. The fact that they already have magical signature is just to help you feel their energy."

I looked at her, wondering if she was kidding with me. Her face remained the same.

"Well," I finally said, "I guess that makes sense. These rocks are from the desert, which means they have a lot of magnetite in them. I am not exactly sure what amount of it would be in a small rock..."

A knock on the classroom door stopped my ramblings and I slipped the rocks in my pocket.

But what I didn't expect was that Angeline was the person that was knocking on the door.


	36. Chapter 8, part two: The Excerpt

**Author's note: **_Okay guys, I hope this is in italic since I'm uploading from MS Word on my laptop. _

_I won't be a drama queen, but I got only 3 reviews. And they are beautiful, so it's worth it!_

_We have __Crystal jaide __(yay, a new reviewer), and I want to thank her for her support. Hope this update is fast enough :)_

_Lilietje99__, of course, wrote a mile-long review and I love her so much for it! And yes! TFH trailers are real, for all of you that aren't sure! And I want that #5 name so, so much! I know it'll be cataclysmic :D I googled it too ;) And okay, to be realistic, the last chapter was nothing. Just some words and the beginning of a real chapter, but please try to understand – I literally had no time! You know how important this is to me. And I'm glad I made you laugh. And if you have a story (since i had no time to check), I will make sure to read it! I bet it's wonderful :D I am glad to be your friend too :)_

_Totalbooknerd13__ isn't abandoning me either. And that review was so funny! Yeah, Sydney tried so, so hard to find Angeline :D_

_Thank you, guys, for staying here and loving this story. I mean, if I had no reviews, I'd have no reasons to continue! And I do have a reason – you guys! I love you so much and your beautiful words. Thank you so much, for all that kindness._

_And yes – I didn't forget HopperIvashkinator, TheHappyLol, KeepCalmAndDream, CherrySlushLover, MilankaLovesMetal, Sam1405, sydney ivashkov, rebelde09... I really, really hope you rest and be ready to write those reviews for me :D If Lilietje99 didn't come back, I don't know what I'd do :)_

_So this is the excerpt fomr bloodlinesquotes/tfh, I hope you like it. I didn't want to add any new scenes to it in this chapter, so I decided to put just the excerpt in this. I hope you like it!_

_No, I didn't like the VA trailer. Why? Because I wanted it to be perfect, and it's not. But it'll do._

_No, I don't own these characters. Richelle Mead owns them. Why? Because she's awesome. :D_

* * *

"Did you know," Angeline said as she walked in, "that it's a lot harder to put organs back in a body than it is to get them out?" Well, that definitely wasn't what I expected. Out of astonishment, I closed my eyes. I just wasn't sure if I was more astonished that Angeline was there, safe and sound and without Trey, or that she just implied that she killed someone and…

"Please tell me you haven't eviscerated someone," I said as I opened my eyes.

Angeline shook her head, but on her lips was the ghost of a smile. "No, no. I talked to Miss Wentworth a few days ago." Miss Wentworth was our biology teacher. What did Angeline have to do with her? The school was going to start in a few days anyway, and I just couldn't imagine Angeline and her biology teacher having a pleasant chat at Spencer's.

"You know I barely passed biology, so she agreed to help me. I had instruction sessions with her at least 10 times," Angeline continued, suddenly a little shy. And I thought she was with Trey all that time. I was such a jerk. Or something like that.

"She gave me homework and I left it in her room. When I went back to get it, she'd already left and the door was locked. It's due tomorrow, and I didn't want to make her think that I'm not trying or appreciating what she's doing for me, so I had to get it. So I went around outside, and her window lock wasn't that hard to open, and I-" She was saying all of this with a blank expression, as if what she was implying was totally normal.

"Wait," I interrupted. "You broke into a classroom?" I couldn't believe it. I'd never do something like that. The thought itself was… horrifying.

"Yeah, but that's not the problem." Ms. Terwilliger laughed, and I decided to ignore it. What, was I the only girl who found the thought of braking into a classroom horrifying?

"Go on," I said wearily, trying and failing to ignore Ms. Terwilliger's laugh.

"Well," Angeline immediately continued, "When I climbed through, I didn't realize there was a bunch of stuff in the way, and I crashed into those plastic models of the human body she has." I raised an eyebrow at that. It was the only reaction my body allowed me to have. Seeing my expression, Angeline said, "You know, the life size ones with all the parts inside?" And then she smiled. "And bam!" She held up her arms for effect. "Organs everywhere."

Angeline paused and looked at me expectantly. "So, what are we going to do? I can't get in trouble with her."

I finally found my voice. "We?" I exclaimed, louder than I wanted.

"Here," Ms. Terwillliger said, startling me. I turned around and she tossed me a set of keys. From the look on her face, it looked as if it was she tried really hard not to burst out laughing. "That square one's a master. I know for a fact she has yoga and won't be back for the rest of the day. I imagine you can repair the damage – and retrieve the homework – before anyone's the wiser." I knew that she was implying I was the one that should do that. Of course. Sydney the savior.

With a sigh, I stood up and packed my things. I didn't forget decency when I lost pride, at least. "Thanks," I said simply, not allowing any of the frustrating emotions enter my voice. That wasn't fair. Why was I always the person that had to repair things and mistakes?

Angeline and I left and as we walked down to the science wing, I told her, "You know, the next time you've got a problem, maybe come to me before it becomes even bigger problem." It was entirely true and since I was so angry with everyone and everything, I couldn't refrain myself for at least saying this. Even though I felt like screaming and kicking the walls.

"Oh, no," Angeline said nobly, "I didn't want to be an inconvenience." I sighed and opened the door of the biology room.

Angeline's description of the scene was pretty accurate, even though she explained in two words: _organs everywhere_. Miss Wentworth had two body models – male and female, with torsos carved out cleverly so that they could hold removable parts of the body to be able to examine it in greater detail. That was a bad thing for me, in that moment. The good thing was that Miss Wentworth wisely purchased models that were only waist high. But that didn't mean much – the whole room was a mess. What would it look like if there were legs everywhere? I tried to picture it, and managed to lighten my own mood. The real problem was that it was hard to tell which model the various organs belonged to. My sense of anatomy was very good, but I decided not to risk it so I opened a textbook for reference as I began sorting. I was very, very enthusiastic to be doing this since I just loved human organs in life-size.

Angeline, of course, wouldn't be ironic, but just funny if she said that, so she just perched on a far counter and swing her legs as she watched me, knowing she was useless in the situation.

I just started reassembling the male when I heard a masculine voice behind me. "Melbourne," he used the nickname Ms. Terwilliger used, "I always knew you'd need to learn about this kind of thing. I'd just kind of hoped you'd learn it on a real guy." He smirked and I rolled my eyes. Boys. Typical, driven by instincts, not even caring about what's going on around them. Like, for example, a thousand organs sprawled on the floor.

But I still was glad to see Trey, leaning in the doorway. "Ha, ha." I still said. "If you were a real friend, you'd come help me." An idea immediately formed in my head. I pointed to the female model. "Let's see some of your alleged expertise in action." I grinned, but my heart sank, knowing he'd just take off in a moment or two, and I'd be left helpless.

"Alleged?" Trey said, sounding indignant, but he strolled in anyway. I didn't think about anything except that I had to get back to Clarence's as soon as I could with Angeline, and pray that Adrian managed to take care of it. And himself. But still, I made a mistake and I only realized it when he came to a sudden halt. "Oh," he said when he saw Angeline. "Hi."

It was kind of cute. Angeline stopped swinging her feet and her eyes were as wide as his. "Um, hi," she murmured. I fought the urge to smile. I was obviously past any help – I thought mixing races was cute.

But Trey and Angeline obviously didn't think so. I could feel the tension ramp up from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds, and everyone seemed at a loss for words. Angeline jerked her head towards the models and said, "I had an accident." I didn't see why that would be important to Trey, but that sentence snapped him from his daze and his lips curved into a smile.

Yeah, he loved Angeline's antics, while they made me want to pull out my hair sometimes.

"That seems to happen a lot," Trey said, smirking.

Angeline didn't see the smirk. "It wasn't my fault," she insisted.

"It never is," Trey said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I just have bad luck," Angeline tried further.

"Or you're just trouble," Trey pressed her self-control.

"You got a problem with that?" Angeline said with a raised eyebrow, suddenly looking fierce and deadly.

That seemed enough for Trey. "No problem at all," he said in a low voice.

That was the signal I needed. It was time for me to step in, or they'd chop their heads off eventually, when they got bored of talking in 4-word-sentences.

"Oh my God," I said, irritated. "Are you going to help or not?"

Trey and Angeline were looking at each other intently, as if I wasn't there, and the awkward tension somehow became sexual tension. I was ready to bolt, but they seemed to be done with their heated looks.

Or not. Trey glanced at Angeline again, and it became a long, heated look, and then he turned way and threw himself into reassembling the female model.

I thought he was just showing off with that "Keep calm, I know what I'm doing" talk, but he finished quickly, to my surprise. "Told you I'm an expert," he said, glancing at Angeline again.

"Didn't you take AP biology?" I asked Trey, but he was having a staring dreamy-eyed contest with Angeline.

I cleared my throat. "Angeline, we need to go to Clarence's. Queen Lissa came to visit Jill."

Angeline nodded. "I know. Eddie told me." She quickly took her homework from the table. "Thanks for fixing this," she told Trey, as if I didn't even exist. No _Thank you, Sydney_ or anything. Just Trey.

Trey gave a nonchalant shrug, like these kinds of things happened to him every day. At that he disappeared, and a stone fell from my chest.

Phew. I would've laughed and danced around, but Angeline was always on the seventh skies. "Oh, Sydney," she said with a mournful sigh. "Why does he have to be one of those stupid Warriors?"

Yeah, I knew the feeling.

I locked up the classroom and distracted myself with walking and reminding myself I had to give the keys back to Ms. Terwilliger. "Well, he's not technically one right now," I said honestly. I wasn't sure if that was a bad, or a good thing.

"But he could be again," Angeline said as we headed out to catch the shuttle to the exit.

"And if he does, he'll never overcome all that stuff about mixing with dhampirs." She sighed again. This was all too much drama for me. "One of these days, he'll start dating a human again, and since we're here, I won't be able to do anything about it.

I didn't like the sound of that. "What exactly do you mean by, 'do anything'?" I asked cautiously.

Angeline brightened a little. "Well, if we were back home, I could just keep challenging his new girlfriends to duels and beating them up."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, then," I said honestly, "let's hope he stays single."


	37. Chapter 8, part three: Choices

**Author's note: **_Oh guys, so many reviews! I just woke up and I'm smiling so much. Yes, that was the altered excerpt and now comes the Trey-Angeline scene! Are you as excited as I am?_

_Also, I'm glad that I'm not a weirdo for not liking the trailer. All the feedback I got was the same – it was way too unrealistic and confusing. I mean, they should've put the most important scenes and explained the vampire world to those who didn't read the books. If they managed to confuse me, what will happen to people who don't even know about the books?_

_Now, a list of mentioned people:_

_1. __Totalbooknerd13__ – Yes, we are all secretly Angeline. Thank you for your support, for the millionth time! :)_

_2. __Lilietje99__ – I felt the same about the trailer. Drawing on the wall was not understandable to me, and I thought that someone was biting someone on that table? And wth for that motorbike scene and Dimitri and Rose fighting someone! And another wth for that scene in the hospital? And Lissa is having a speech in front of the queen? I am so confused. AND disappointed. As for your next comment, thank you so much. I am glad you loved it, and I must be honest and say that I did put a lot of effort into infiltrating my story into that excerpt :D You got this scene a bit wrong – Sydney is thrown in the middle of a drama and she will be horrified! I love horrified Sydney :D And seriously, thank you so much for loving my writing. :)_

_3. __rebelde09__ – Hope this is fast enough! It's so much easier to write on my laptop. And yes, they WILL kiss! Yay! Thank you so much for loving my chapters. :)_

_4. __KeepCalmAndDream__ – Welcome back, buddy! I DEFINITELY don't hate you for not reviewing sooner. I love you too, and I'm so happy to have you back! :D Hahaha, oh my God why does that confuse everyone. The guy is Hopper! I am glad you managed to find out the truth :P Yes, I did add on to the excerpt, but in the base it's same. You are not a horrible friend (I must say that again). About the trailer – I know about Suite Life On Deck but I never saw Zoe in it! Or, hmm, maybe that's why she seems familiar? And I must be honest, I like only Danilla (but that's mostly because my best friend is in love with him :D), and yes, I agree – the trailer is way too bad and it doesn't show even 1% of the series' awesomness. And a guy that could play Adrian does not exist. That is the truth. I loved your reviews and thank you so much! Good luck with school. :)_

_5. __Crystal jaide__ – Haha, oh my God, I didn't know you appreciated it that much. I hope it's enough to get an update daily? Believe me, I'm trying hard. Thank you so much for faithfully reviewing and supporting. :)_

_6. __Torn Two Ways__ – Welcome, new reviewer! Thank you so much for this beautiful review! I am so glad you love this. I hope you'll keep on reviewing and I hope I won't disappoint you. Did this update come fast enough? :)_

_Yes, I made a big deal out of 7 reviews. It's a big deal! Thank you all, so much. I will make a wonderful list of my reviewers. And I will get permanent computer access (hopefully) at the beginning of September. It'll be so much different when that happens! I'll finally get to start that One-shots series and I have another idea in my mind. But okay, first I need to finish this. Thank you for supporting me, loving me, writing those amazing reviews and wasting your time on reading this story. I love you all._

_And okay, I won't mention the vacationers this time, but I will the next :D And TheHappyLol and Sam1405 are coming back soon! And I forgot to mention damonsforever86 in the last author's note. I didn't now. ;)_

_You already know that these characters aren't mine, so..._

* * *

Angeline and I were supposed to get back to Clarence's as soon as possible. I didn't know what was going on and as much as I loved and trusted Adrian, I really wasn't sure if he'd be able to pull it off and not get Eddie and I become janitors or something.

But, Angeline had more "important" things on her mind. She had to find another teacher – and it was suspicious, but I also had to find Ms. Terwilliger to give her keys back to her.

I found her at Spencer's and even waved at Brayden when I saw him. It was hard for me to ignore the smell of coffee, but Adrian's face kept flashing in my mind and I felt guilty for even thinking about cheating. He trusted me in this. I trusted him too. After all, this wasn't about coffee. This was about us. With those thoughts, I just sighed and went to find Angeline.

Now, I was wandering the empty yards, searching for that crazy dhampir girl. As much as I didn't like to admit it, I was attached to her and I did care about her well-being. If she got sent back to the Keepers… I'd feel guilty for the rest of my life.

But I came to a sudden halt when I heard a familiar voice. I quickly hid behind a tree and it was purely instinctive. After a moment, I knew I didn't make a mistake.

"But Angeline," the familiar voice urged, "isn't there a way? Any way?"

Angeline sighed. "Trey," she said fiercely, "we both know that this couldn't work, okay? Aside from belonging to different races, we belong to different organizations. You are a vampire hunter! How can we be together if I am obliged to defend vampires from you?"

Now Trey sighed. "I won't attack anyone. Ever since dad and I were brought back among the Warriors… I don't feel the same about them anymore. I don't belong to them anymore." I raised an eyebrow at that. So, Trey did manage to become a Warrior again? I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. I mean, Trey was a good friend of mine, but Angeline was right – we couldn't just hang out in our free time and fight against each other at working hours.

"But you said you couldn't be a spy for me," Angeline said softly. "So what can you do?"

Trey's voice was so low that I barely heard him talk. "I can. I can be that." He paused. "For you."

Angeline gasped. "But… your dad… the ideology… your family…" she stammered.

And yes, I shut my eyes close but it didn't stop me from hearing what was going on behind that tree.

Angeline and Trey were kissing. I hoped they'd stop in a moment. I really wanted to know what they'd do. Being together despite race differences was hard (yeah, really?) but if they really loved each other… I understood.

"So you love me," Angeline said in a high-pitched voice, obviously breathless.

Trey chuckled. "You knew it since the beginning. You just weren't sure if I'd be so crazy to actually consider being with you."

Angeline laughed and before I could tell them to stop kissing because they were in a public place, Trey said, "You know that I'd be dead if they found out?"

"I'd protect you," Angeline said passionately. "I wouldn't let them hurt you."

Trey laughed. "Gosh, you're becoming romantic," he said and I took that as the hint to come out of my hiding place.

Angeline was wrapped up in Trey's arms and they were just starting to kiss when I cleared my throat and they sprang apart.

I waged whether I should grin and say some line from Adrian's vocabulary or act like an angry mother. I chose the latter. "Are you two crazy?" I whispered angrily. "Someone could see you!"

Trey was grinning, but Angeline nodded. "I'm sorry, Sydney, but we made an important decision…"

"I know!" I interrupted. "But could you make important decisions somewhere else? Somewhere where the Warriors or the Alchemists or Moroi or guardians wouldn't see you?"

Angeline put her hands on her hips, and I realized I made a mistake. "You've been eavesdropping?" she said in a high voice that counted as half-shouting.

I gulped. "I might have heard it."

"They all say having girls fight over you is awesome," Trey muttered, grinning. "They are all right."

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "First of all, I'm not fighting over you," I said. "I am just being the only responsible one here and I'm trying to keep your relationship a secret. You said it yourself – if the Warriors found out, you'd be dead. You're just making it possible for them with making out here."

Trey's grin faded. "You are right," he said as his gaze traveled to his shoes. "I'm sorry."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't apologize," I said. "I know how you feel."

And… another mistake. I shouldn't have said that either.

Trey raised an eyebrow, and Angeline grinned. Of course she did – she knew what I was talking about. "Yeah, it's so hard for you two," she said mockingly. "You are always together and there's nothing standing between your epic love."

I put my hands on my hips. How dare she mock me? "Excuse me?" I said angrily. "You have no idea how hard it is to have your sister doubt you, to have yourself doubt everything you've ever been taught and to have to care about everyone _and _keep a forbidden relationship alive! You think it's a picnic for us? You think I wouldn't rather be in bed, sleeping with Adrian by my side? But no, I have to go and save you from getting sent back to the Keepers! And this is how you thank me?"

I tried to keep myself in check for another second. I turned around and started towards my – Clarence's – car. Angeline was acting like a little child and I didn't want to lose my temper.

Actually, I was just as astonished by my words as Angeline and Trey were. I wanted to be sleeping with Adrian by my side? When I thought about that, I did want to be with him. I could forget about wars, secret societies, secret missions, divorces and everything else for a moment when I looked into Adrian's eyes. I just never thought I'd confess it to anyone, and I never even dreamed I'd confess it to Angeline.

"Sydney-" Angeline started behind me, but I didn't turn around. I got to Clarence's car and sighed. Angeline and Trey were both behind me. Angeline was looking sad, and Trey was looking indifferent.

"Just get in," I said, addressing Angeline with my eyes. She nodded and got in. that left Trey and me, standing in the parking lot.

"You understand how much you'll have to sacrifice?" I said as I looked at Trey. He did look a bit nerdy, but I understood where Angeline's crush came from. He was handsome, and a little mysterious.

Trey didn't say anything. I guessed it was a kind of macho thing – to stand still while the bad things are being listed to you.

"I will lose my real family, Trey," I continued. "Be prepared to lose that too."

"Do you love him?" Trey asked, surprising me.

I smiled. "You don't ask a rogue Alchemist things like that."

Trey was still looking at me intently. If he was surprised by what I said, he didn't show it. "I'll spy on them for you." He stopped and glanced at Angeline, who was in the car. "For her. I'll also be exposed, betraying my kind for them."

"Welcome to the club, then," I said and tapped his shoulder. He smiled and I nodded my farewell at him, entering the car.

This was going to be such a mess. But I had to admit that I felt easier, knowing that now I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only one risking everything.

I shook my head. If someone told me a year ago I'd feel soothed by the fact that I wasn't the only person risking my whole life for vampires, I would've sent them to the mental hospital. Now I just felt determined.

My phone buzzed. I decided that whoever sent me a text could wait. I wouldn't text and drive – I could damage the car.

"Are you going to see that?" Angeline asked. I was astonished for a second, since I didn't know how she heard my phone, but then I realized that Angeline was a dhampir.

"You can read," I said as I pulled my phone out of my pocket and gave it to Angeline.

"Oh, I don't want to disturb your privacy," Angeline said as she looked at the screen. "It's from someone called Jet Steele."

I grinned. This was exactly why I changed Adrian's name in my phonebook.

"Read it," I said, suddenly overwhelmed by fear. Would the text say that he didn't manage to convince them? Did it mean we failed?

"It says, '_They didn't stand a chance against my charms. Further talk after you come back._' Would you care to explain?" Angeline said, frowning.

I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. "Yes!" I exclaimed and calmed myself, tapping the wheel gently. "Sorry, baby," I muttered.

"Well?" Angeline said. "What does this mean?"

I looked at her, grinning. "You're not going back to the Keepers. Everything is going to be okay. It's been taken care of."

Angeline narrowed her eyes, then read the text again. "Oh," she said finally, realization hitting her. I just didn't expect that particular realization would hit her. "Adrian."

I gulped and moved my attention to the road.

Angeline laughed. "You are going all secret agents with secret names! That is so cool. What should I call Trey? Sherlock Holmes?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't tell anyone," I said in a low voice, knowing she could hear me. "If the Alchemists found out… they'd take me away, and I'd never come back. Actually, I would, but I'd be someone else."

Angeline looked astonished. "They really hate us that much?"

I nodded. "More than you can imagine. Trey's been trained to be aggressive towards you, but I've been trained to be nice to you and hate you internally."

We were both silent for a minute after that. I thought about everything my dad taught me, my first Moroi, Rose… but Angeline stopped my train of thoughts.

"I know it's rude to ask," Angeline said, "but how did you two fall in love, then? I mean, you are taught to hate him, and he is taught to think of you as just a meal… I don't get it. I'm no Moroi, so it's easier for me to be with Trey. We're almost the same; I'm just a bit stronger. But Adrian and you are totally different – he can't go out in the sun, he is dependent on blood…" She stopped, and seeing the look on my face, hastily added, "Not that I'm judging or anything."

I sighed. "Angeline, I thought like that for so long. I saw Adrian as just a creature of the night drinking blood. But when I got over that and when I accepted that part of him, I realized there's so much more to him than what he was born with. He is a wonderful, loving, caring person and we have so much in common. If I didn't have him, I would've been an entirely different person now."

I glanced at Angeline. She wore a melted expression on her face. She finally squeaked and put her head in her hands. "That. Is. So. Romantic!" she said.

I laughed. "Yeah, it's really romantic to be worried that your sister will call the Alchemists saying, 'Hey guys, I'm kind of suspicious, seeing that my sister is spending her days with a vampire. Is that normal?'"

Angeline sighed. "Life is so hard," she said.

"Yeah, really, having an affair with a vampire hunter spying for you is so hard," I said and rolled my eyes.

"Sydney?" Angeline suddenly asked.

I looked at her – she was biting her lower lip, obviously struggling to say something.

"Yes?" I said cautiously.

"You're kind of cool, now that I think about it," she said in a low voice. "I thought you were just an uptight nerdy bitch…"

I cut her off. "Why do people keep calling me that? Am I really that bad?"

Angeline raised both eyebrows. "Someone called you a bitch?"

I sighed. "Rose. We're in a war."

"Rose called you a bitch?" Angeline still looked astonished. "You must've done something really… bitchy then."

I almost laughed at that. "I punched her in the face."

Angeline immediately said, "You deserved it," and then stopped. "Wait, what?"

I rolled my eyes. "You heard me, dhampir."

"Oh my God," Angeline said. "That is so cool. Back at home girls fight only over guys…" she paused and then started laughing, seeing as I started blushing. "You fought over a guy! Oh my God."

Thankfully, I didn't have to respond to that, seeing that we came to our destination. I shut the engine off and looked at Angeline, dead-serious. "Nobody knows. I want it to stay like that."

She grinned. "Don't worry, I won't say that you punched Rose and that she called you a bitch to anyone."

I rolled my eyes. "You know I meant about Adrian and me."

Angeline winked – she actually winked – and got out, laughing. "See you, buddy," she called as she left.

I put my head on the steering wheel. Could this get any worse?


	38. Chapter 8, part four: Role-Play

**Author's note: **_Another explosion of reviews! It's definitely because of my the laptop. I can re-read and alter things now :D _

_Now, let's mention everyone:_

_1. __Lilietje99__ – An awesome review, as always! Sydney will face Rose very soon (perhaps in this chapter?) and I'm so glad you liked the new chapter. Thank you, my good, fellow, devoted, loyal friend!_

_2. __KyKat__ – I know I've said this before, but I love how you write reviews. Thank you so much :)_

_3. __Bukwurm13__ – Crazy SA girl (I mentioned I had a special attachment to South Africa before, right? And just for you and MilankaLovesMetal, a sneak peak – SA will be important for the ending of this story! I just can't help it!), I am sad that you won't make a profile soon, but having you as a reviewer is just as good! You will be disappointed when you watch the trailer (since I know you will), but, we can't do anything about it now. I'm kind of in „maybe sick" phase where I sneeze and sniff all the time. And yeah, today I fell on the railroad and got my left ankle pretty bad. But how awesome :D I am, I just got up and kept on walking. For another 3 hours. When I came home, it started to hurt... Ahh. I'm just glad I didn't break anything (or at least I hope I didn't). Okay, back to your review: I am so glad you loved my version of the excerpt. I wanted to make it attached to my story somehow, but also show everyone that it fits the story well. And yes, I love Angeline as a character and I love developing her. People take her as shallow, but I kind of understand her. And, hmm, I don't know, what kind of words should Trey use? Because "Damn" belongs to Adrian! :D No problem for not reviewing constantly. I totally understand. I'm glad you didn't abandon the story. My school starts in two weeks, but I promise that skipping daily updates won't be frequent. Maybe only if I have to study really hard (and I never do that :D). Oh, the covers will be blown too soon. There'll be shocks. I know this story isn't much of a something, but I hope it's entertaining! And thank you so much for everything, I hope you have a nice weekend too. And oh my God, that much studying? :O See, if you had a profile, I wouldn't have to write so long author's notes. Good luck with studying! :)_

_4. __Catchick10__ – Oooh, hope the camp was interesting? Thanks for reviewing and supporting._

_5. __Totalbooknerd13__ – I won't mention the constant-support-thing :D Glad you love Angeline and thank you! :D_

_6. __pixie's__ – Long reviews, my favorite! Now, since you don't have a profile, I have to answer like this so I suppose this author's note is kind of a long one :D Okay. First of all, thank you for getting time to write these wonderful reviews. Not reviewing is not a problem, the important thing is that you're here now! I also had problems with my mobile phone network, but it's okay now (thanks to God). Yay, you liked the bite! It was very... stressing to write, and waiting for feedback was equally stressful. I didn't get much squeaks of joy or anything, but I'm glad people liked that scene! It was the most daring thing I've ever written. And yes, on this site most of „hot" (as you called it :D) things are from Sydney's POV (like post-re-education things) and I thought, 'Let's see what Adrian thinks about these situations!' Again, I'm so glad you loved it. And haha, who doesn't love Adrian? I wanted to make him look fierce. Ah, Lissa is a strange topic for me. She has a soft expression, but she doesn't look like she's 18 and that's the problem I have with her. I will do Trey-Angeline justice in the one-shots series, but I'd really lose myself in the writing if I started it now, so I hope you all understand. The first chapter will be a fluffy one and will (of course) be dedicated to HopperIvashkinator, and I'll make chapters only from your suggestions (but don't I always do that? :D), so I hope you're excited for September! Back to VA – out of 1:20 trailer, I understood maybe 15 seconds. The motorbike? The hospital? The helicopter? The Lissa's speech? The staking? And that Rose-Dimitri scene was a bit... weird? I don't know. I just don't feel the emotions, at least not now. I don't understand why so many fans (that read the series a million times) are so excited. I'm debating whether to watch the movie or not, even though I know I'll have to see it. I guess I'm just traumatized by The Host or something? And Christian is a sensitive topic for me. His character, his behavior are very important and if Dominic doesn't pull it off... I'm out of here. And if they ruin Eddie, Adrian, Abe, Sydney and even Victor (because I didn't see who's the actor yet, and I always cheered for him :D) for me, I'll just quit on the movies. I can live without it. Anyway, thank you for reviewing. Looking forward to you making a profile one day and having a nice, long chat with me via PM so that we can stop torturing people with these long author's notes!_

_7. __casstella__ – You loved this one too! Yay! Thank you :)_

_Okay, so thank you all for making me so happy today. I woke up happy and wrote a chapter. It's 11 PM here and I'm still happy – imagine a house, everyone asleep and a little light in the corner. What is it? It's Ehlimana, rummaging through her chapters, writing on the laptop and consulting the tweets on her phone. Adorable, right? :D_

_And will we ever find out that #5 name? What does end in "bs" and is connected to the series? I already said it – cribs or tombs. Either is too morbid for it to be real :D_

_Yeah, yeah. I'm just a girl loving these characters and wishing they found actors similar to what's in my head. Richelle Mead is their owner. :)_

With that thought, I rang the bell. Eddie opened the door and I expected of him to be happy and everything. Guess not – he wore his guardian mask, though it faltered a bit when he saw me.

"Update," I shortly said and Eddie nodded. I already started to doubt Adrian's message. What if he was joking? He wasn't so immature. What if the Alchemists snatched his phone and sent the message? No, that would be too painful for me. I just hoped my Adrian was okay.

"I doubted he'd be able to do it, Sydney, but he was…" Eddie raised his hands, trying to find a word.

"Awesome?" a voice behind Eddie said and I couldn't help it – I smiled. So he was okay after all and it wasn't a lie.

Eddie glanced at Adrian, who was, by the way, looking so handsome that I wanted to press him up the wall then and there, and kiss him until we both died because of lack of oxygen. Eddie and Adrian both smiled.

But I didn't expect another voice to cut in. "So, the princess finally decided to show up?"

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head, seeing Christian. He was smirking and Adrian looked at him with such an intent expression that I immediately wondered if something was wrong. Christian noticed it too, and he grinned and… winked at Adrian. Okay, he's not gay, he's the queen's boyfriend. Calm down, Sydney. Their behavior has a perfectly rational explanation. Right?

I was just starting to say something back to Christian, when I felt a body brush against mine and when I turned around, Angeline was already half-way gone up the stairs.

"Oh, no, you are so not getting away," Eddie said and ran after her. That was the first time I saw fear in Angeline's eyes and I couldn't help but laugh.

And then the situation got worse. I saw a person in the corner of my eye, looking at me with a horrified look.

Zoe.

"Ah," I said as quickly as I could as the laughter faded from my lungs and I looked at Adrian, "You vampires surely have a sense of humor. You thought I couldn't find that dhampir? Well, if it wasn't for the sake of the mission, I would've left her there!" I spoke too loudly, knowing Zoe could hear. Christian was looking at me like I was crazy, but I couldn't deceive him now. Zoe was more important to deceive. Besides, Adrian could always compel him.

Adrian, who was supposed to be my boyfriend, who was supposed to know all my thoughts and understand me perfectly, had the same expression as Christian.

Ah. Boys. I tried to avert my eyes so that Adrian could notice Zoe at the end of the hallway, but he didn't understand. "Did you save the mission?" I said harshly. "Or did you screw that up too?"

I put my hands on my hips to intensify the effect. That seemed to make Christian get a wrong conclusion, while Adrian now looked at me, his eyes unfocused. My aura? What could my aura tell?

"She is fierce, Ivashkov," Christian muttered, whistling. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"Don't talk about me like that, vampire," I said sharply. I tried to summon up all the fear I had in me to make Adrian understand. All I managed was to summon up anger, but I tried hard. Re-education, losing Adrian, losing myself, being a walking zombie… I shuddered.

Christian raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were liberal…"

Adrian, thankfully, finally cut him off. "Yeah, Sydney. I thought you cheated behind the Alchemists' backs. Aren't you supposed to stop hating us or something? Or is it something all Alchemists are born with?"

Yes. Perfect role-play. He finally realized what was going on. "I just want the truth. And that doesn't involve fraternizing with the enemy. Yes, you helped me research, but that's the end of our association." I said and then added, knowing Zoe would love it, "Vampire." I said it as if it was a curse or something. My stomach flipped because I felt so uncomfortable. I didn't want to lie. I had to.

Now Christian was looking at us as if we were both crazy. We were both breathing hard and the urge to press Adrian up the wall was growing stronger inside of me. I wouldn't hold on much longer, I knew. I had to either leave or find a room and drag us inside of it.

"What the hell is going on here? I thought…" Christian started, his blue eyes flashing with fire. I hoped he wouldn't incinerate us all, knowing he yielded fire magic.

"Shut up," Adrian and I said in the same time. This harshness was new to me. Were all Alchemists supposed to act like this? Because this was awful. My father was cold, Stanton was cold, even Ian was cold. Everyone I knew was cold, and the vampires, that were supposed to be cold, were warm. Especially Adrian, when I wrapped myself in his arms…

As if he could her my thoughts, his gaze shifted to me and he raised his eyebrows slightly, as if challenging me.

Challenge accepted. "I don't like to repeat myself, but I'll do it, since you're obviously…" I struggled to find the word that wouldn't sound too mean. "Deaf," I said, proud of myself. Adrian looked as if he was trying hard not to laugh and I blushed. Christian was humphing behind us and it made me almost smile. He had no idea what was going on. Zoe was right behind him; how could he know?

"Did you screw the mission up?" I asked more gently. Adrian knew I was just playing for Zoe, but then again, I wasn't sure what conclusions he'd make during the conversation.

"No, actually, as much as it'll disappoint you, I did exactly what you asked of me," Adrian responded as he crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall. His pose was too cute. "I uncovered all your secrets in front of your sister."

I raised an eyebrow. "You think my sister doesn't already know all my secrets?"

Now Christian spoke, obviously composing himself. "By the way she reacted, it's a definite no."

I nodded. "Well, it was such a pleasant thing to talk with you, but I have to go find my sister," I said and looked at Adrian passionately. I hoped that he could understand what I wanted to do, but it was hard to explain with just averting my eyes. _The kitchen. Five minutes. Alone. _That's what I was trying to say and Adrian smiled slightly before turning to Christian.

"We were talking about those Moroi girls you met in LA, right?" he said too loudly and I watched him leave with a confused Christian who was looking at me.

"Wow," Zoe immediately said. "I thought lord Ozera would jump and bite you, he was that angry." She ran to me and hugged me tight. "I didn't come to stand by your side because I thought he'd do it and you'd need medical attention. Thanks to God, we don't need that."

I nodded and made myself smile, even though I wanted to run after Adrian – and Christian, since he also seemed to share a very important thing with us: sarcasm – and ask him what was really going on. Guess Zoe would have to be enough for now.

"They are disgusting, Zoe. But don't let them always know you think like that – act friendly and when they think they have you…" I trailed off, hoping this speech would be enough for her. I was right – she was looking at me with those big eyes, nodding along my every word.

"I'd never be able to stand so close to them," she said, her voice full of awe.

"Believe me, it's not a privilege," I said, almost laughing. But I wasn't happy, at all. I was just glad that Zoe didn't catch me bonding with our "enemies". Yeah, right. We all knew who the real enemies were – the Alchemists.

Zoe told me what happened at the meeting. Her description was mostly consistent of, 'Oh my God, Sydney, you have no idea how many of them were there!' or 'They're all in black, like ninjas!' I didn't care about the fashion or the number of guardians. I just wanted to know how Adrian pulled it off.

And then the disaster started. Zoe sighed. "He was so cute, Sydney… you could tell that he was nervous. And everyone were pressing him and his beliefs, but he kept his ground and…" she clasped her hands suddenly. "Boom! I suddenly find out that my sister is spying on the Alchemists! How cool is that?" Yes. So dad didn't get to fully train her. She found spying awesome? She found her sister cool? That meant she was on the right road and I couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"I'm not cool," I said, blushing. "Adrian was the one to do the talking. They're all dhampirs and Moroi, after all. Why would they listen to what I had to say?"

Zoe sighed again, that dreamer's look in her eyes again. "If only he was human…"

I felt something stir inside of me. I immediately identified it - jealousy. Lots of it.

"Okay, what is it with you and that Moroi?" I asked, exasperated. "He is a Moroi. Dot. Point. End of paragraph, chapter and the whole book. Why do you keep intimidating me with such words?"

Zoe's face showed shock, and then I knew I hurt her. It was too late.

"I was just joking," she silently said and walked away. Another thing I managed to screw up. Yay! I was so enthusiastic.

But I didn't have even a moment of peace – I was suddenly standing next to someone in that small hallway.

Brown hair, brown eyes, too skinny.

Rose Hathaway. My stomach made another flip and I knew something bad was going to happen.

Was I really… that word she called me? And did I really punch her in the face?

I found out my answer soon enough.

"I was unconscious for hours after that punch," Rose said, carefully approaching me. She wasn't going to… attack me or anything, right?

And then came the unexpected – she hugged me. I just stood there while she wrapped her arms around me and chuckled. She was playing, right? "I'm so proud," she said in a high-pitched voice. "You KO-ed a dhampir! That's a privilege!"

I put my head in my hands.

Yes, this could get worse. And it was about to.


	39. Chapter 8, part five: The Kitchen

**Author's note: **_Okay, I am really embarrassed now. I wrote half-asleep again and made mistakes such as "called" instead of "cold" or "wright" instead of "right". This morning I laughed so much, not even remembering writing half of the chapter. I am so sorry for things like this, guys, and thank you for pointing the mistakes out to me and helping me not to humiliate myself further!_

_Silver Shadows. Shadows made of silver. Untouchable shiny silver things. What is my opinion of this title? I am TOTALLY FREAKING OUT. Shadows are associated with spirit OR with dead people (nothing to freak out about!) and silver is associated to Sydney's tattoo if she breaks the spell OR with charmed stakes (nothing to freak out about there either). So, this title is saying to me that: a) Adrian is going to become crazy; b) someone is going to die; c) Sydney is going to go to Mexico; d) someone is going to be turned into Strigoi. Really, nothing to freak out about! Why couldn't it be called "The Happy Ending?" I am so scared of TFH right now. Adrian, don't you dare die, become Strigoi or go to the crazy house to me! Don't you dare leave me in any way! But yeah, it's going to be a crying festival and since Richelle already used the Strigoi thing, I bet he dies. And it's going to scar me for life. Oh my God, I don't want that to happen. What's your opinion, guys?_

_I got an interesting question from KeepCalmAndDream. She asked me to identify the flower from TFH cover. I searched for the information on the Internet and I didn't find anything, but the flower looks like two I have in my garden, but I don't know the translations. I draw those exact flowers a lot in school and teachers take my drawings from me :( If someone knows, please write it in a review! I am really interested, and it will reveal something to us, as every flower did :)_

_Back to the mentioning:_

_1. __Alicella Ivashkov__ – I am glad you liked the chapter. Christian is going to get even more confused ;)_

_2. __Totalbooknerd13__ – Oh, I don't have a comment. You are always there, patting my back and urging me on. :)_

_3. __KeepCalmAndDream__ – Saved me by pointing the typos out! We were both wrong about the #5 name :( Guys, answer the question about the flowers! Now I'm also interested! I'd search the whole flowers database if I had Internet access, but that won't happen until Monday so… Do us both a favor? Oh, and you will like this chapter, hopefully. Thanks, buddy! :D_

_4. __Rebelde09__ – As always, beautiful reviews! You loved Trey-Angeline (__**and please, can someone tell me already if it's Trengeline or Anrey or something? I need a name for this pairing, desperately!**__) and you loved everything else too! I am so happy. I've made great sacrifices to update twice yesterday :P I love it how you're all fangirling about Christian! I am too. I hope you like this chapter too! And to everyone, I appreciate so much your reviewing while you're busy! That is awesome :)_

_5. __ Crystal jaide__ – Guess you didn't have to wait too long, because you'll have a moment here :D The real deal will come later… when we get Adrian again, and it won't happen for long since I did chapters 7 and 9 together for TheHappyLol. That was optimistic :D_

_6. __Catchick10__ – Thank you so much! I'm glad that camp was good. I mean, I've never been in one but I know that it's supposed to be fun from movies? :D_

_7. __pixie's 52__ – How awesome is it that another person made a profile to be able to talk to me? It's too awesome, like Adrian! :D Thank you so much. I'm glad I can finally get to know you. And we'll convince Bukwurm13 to make a profile so that I don't have to write essays in my chapters :P_

_8. __Bukwurm13__ – Yeah, yeah, everyone is disappointed. I don't get the fangirls that claim "the trailer is aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah". Rolling my eyes. I don't like it and I don't understand why Richelle likes it. I mean, she's got to be aware, at least in her heart, that it's bad? I hope the movie is better. And ah, SA is kind of personal matter for me. I've never been anywhere besides Croatia (and it's 3 hours away from where I live, so I'm not sure if that even counts) but SA and Capetown specifically are very, very important for me and they awake so many beautiful memories. They kind of hurt now, though, since the person I share those memories with is out of my life for almost two years already, but then again… sigh. I still love SA. And I still want to visit it and cry when I realize our dreams didn't come true. Okay, back to your review: Yes. We wait five minutes for those five minutes and of course, more drama. Hope you like it! :)_

_9. __TheHappyLol__ – She is reviewing as I'm writing, and I'm laughing so hard. My friend is back! Yay! And she laughed at the Angeline chapter :D Awwwwh, you want to write long reviews! Well I surely won't prevent that, and I hope you won't die from laughing and eating popcorn and drining soda in the same time :P Thank you so much, crazy girl! I'm looking forward to your crazy reviews!_

_Bukwurm13 is the 300__th__ reviewer, so the second one-shot will be dedicated to whatever she wishes! And I will count and see who are the 1__st__, 100__th__ and 200__th__ reviewers so that I can reward them with one-shots too._

_But, the first one-shot (starting in September, when I get permanent Internet access) will be dedicated to my wonderful, the one and only __**HopperIvashkinator**__. I love you and I miss you so much and you being funny and sisterly and supportive. Days without you feel emptier. I'm not too inspired to write. And I'm vacuum cleaning carpets again (to make you smile when you read this) – 13 today! I didn't forget you or what you've done for me, sister. I just miss you like crazy._

_TheHappyLol came back today! Yay! And Sam1405 should be back soon too, right? Ah, my faithful reviewers. I miss you so much. Waiting and missing CherrySlushLover and others too. But okay, I understand that you have lives too. I just dedicated a big part of it to this, since I'm peaceful and school is out for two more weeks._

_Okay, everyone, I love you and I'm saying this for the millionth time, but thank you so much! Your support is keeping me going and inspired and laughing! Just keep on supporting and I'll be okay :)_

_If there are any typos, it's because I'm at 2,441 words at 10:56 PM. I'm not taking responsibility for anything written in a half-concious state. The only thing I have to keep me awake is mineral water :D_

_To shock TheHappyLol, I don't drink soda! Or any kinds of juices! I just drink natural, mineral water and teas! So yeah, that is kind of Sydney-ish from me :D_

_Bla bla bla, Richelle Mead owns these characters._

"Um, okay," I muttered, not sure how to act. I mean, I punch a girl and she says I'm awesome?

Rose pulled away, grinning. Then she sighed and the grin faded from her face. "I should've known you'd be angry at me." She looked at me with those big, brown eyes. "I'm sorry, Sydney. I totally deserved that punch. I shouldn't have called you a bitch."

I flinched at the word, and Rose misunderstood my reaction. "I'll say it again, okay? I'm sorry. Just don't be mad at me. If I knew you appreciated Adrian that much…" She sighed again. "I did deserve that punch."

She was kidding, right? Rose Hathaway was apologizing for being punched by a human? She was sorry that I punched her?

"Did you hit your head on a wall or something?" I said as I searched her face for injuries. I found none. "Are you under compulsion?" No, her eyes were focused. "Did you lose your memory?" No, she knew I punched her. She couldn't have lost just the part where she deserved it with saying all those things to Adrian, and me.

Rose laughed. "No, Sydney. Just throwing my dignity away and admitting that I'm wrong because I care about you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's new."

We were silent for a few moments. Rose looked a little pale and her hair wasn't brushed, but she looked okay. She didn't even have a black eye from the punch. I remembered what happened when Marcus hit me, and how Adrian reacted. I smiled.

"Does that mean you'll think about forgiving me?" Rose said in a low voice, again misunderstanding.

"Rose…" I started, searching for words. "I thought you'd be angry that I hit you. I thought you'd want to stake me, to kill me in general." I decided to spill the truth, but Rose stopped me.

"I wanted to, when I woke up." She looked at the ceiling and smiled. "Dimitri and I had a talk afterwards and I realized that I was thinking with my fists, instead of with my brain." She rolled her eyes. "I do that a lot."

"Well, I deserved that treatment," I said honestly. "I punched you. Without a reason."

"Calling you a bitch is reasonable enough for me," Rose said with raised eyebrows.

"Without a legitimate reason," I continued, ignoring her. "I shouldn't have acted like that. I never act like that, Rose. I lost my temper. While that is really frequent for you, it never happens to me. I was shocked." I shook my head, knowing she wouldn't be able to understand.

"Well, I am very surprised too," Rose said. "I didn't know you cared that much about Adrian."

"I just can't watch people write him off as useless when he's so much more," I said honestly. Even now, I couldn't fight the urge to defend him. I'd make everyone see what a wonderful person he was.

Something shifted in Rose's eyes. "You were spending a lot of time together lately, right?"

I nodded. "When I first met him, I couldn't stand the sight of him. I won't pretend in front of you, Rose," I said with a sigh. "You know that I'm not that scared of Moroi and dhampirs anymore. My problem is that the Alchemists would never understand that."

Rose looked at me warily. Was there something on my face? I didn't say anything that'd tip her off about Adrian and me. Right?

"So, at Sonya and Mikhail's wedding, you didn't act like that because you were afraid or disgusted?"

I made a confused expression. Where was she heading with this. "No," I said carefully. "It was just because I was… upset."

"Hmm," Rose said simply. That meant she was thinking hard.

Oh no. This was becoming dangerous. I didn't want to talk about Adrian. If I talked about him, I'd end up saying how much I loved him. I always ended up thinking like that. I had to take her mind off him. "Well," I said desperately, "I'm sorry. I promise I won't punch you anymore."

Rose smiled, obviously forgetting about whatever she was thinking. Phew. Thank you, God. "I promise I won't call you a bitch anymore." That word was seriously starting to irritate me. I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Did you mean it?" I said, looking at her with intently. "When you called me that?"

Rose laughed and rolled her eyes. "You are totally crazy," she said. "Why would you ask something like that?"

I bit my lower lip. "I'm not used to people calling me those kinds of names," I said in a low voice, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm used to being called polite names, but not those…"

Rose interrupted. "I am sorry, Sydney. I didn't mean that. And you are hilarious. I'm sorry," she said and started laughing again.

"Apology accepted," I whispered. "I've got to go now."

Rose nodded, still smiling and I felt like crying. She was making fun of my uncertainty? I was used to being called overweight or fat, stupid or crazy, inadequate, prying, ugly, boring… But that name she called me? No, nobody ever called me that. Then why did Angeline and Rose have the same laughing expressions? There was definitely something I was missing here.

I didn't even think about where I was going. I opened a door and…

Suddenly I was pressed up against the cold wall, someone's hands gripping my wrists tightly. Oh my God. The Alchemists were there to take me away. But how did they find out? Was Adrian okay? Did they take him away too? And how did they manage to get by unnoticed? The house was full of guardians, after all.

I closed my eyes and shivered, preparing for the worst. Chloroform, hitting my head with something hard, dragging me away, drugging me… I was prepared for anything, and everything, summoning up my emerald heaven, hoping I wouldn't lose that picture. Hoping it'd never fade from my memory.

But I wasn't prepared for tender kiss on my neck. "I really hope you're shuddering because of wonderful, endless passion, lust and need for me, but I know you better than that," Adrian whispered against my skin.

I released the breath I didn't even realized I was holding. "Adrian," I breathed and embraced him.

Safe in the crook of his neck, I breathed him in and tried to make my heart beat slower. I slowly calmed down as Adrian hummed a meaningless melody in my ear.

"Now," he said when I finally stopped shuddering, "will you tell me what's wrong?" His emerald eyes darkened and his eyebrows furrowed together as a thought occurred to him. "You aren't afraid of me, right?"

I smiled, trying to show I was okay. "I had a conversation with Rose and, deep in thought, didn't even realize I opened the kitchen door. When you grabbed me, I thought it was the Alchemists, kidnapping me and taking me to Re-education."

Adrian's mouth opened, but no sound came out. He closed them and hugged me again, tightly. "Oh," he said gently as his breath stirred the top of my head. I almost giggled.

"I'm sorry, Sage," he whispered gently. "I shouldn't have done that."

I rolled my eyes. "Now you sound like Rose. She said the same a minute ago."

Adrian chuckled. "She called you 'Sage'? I don't believe it. And did you try to rip your heads off, by the way?"

I shook my head. Explaining to him that Rose didn't call me 'Sage' was impossible, so I just let it go, hoping he wouldn't press it further. "No. She actually apologized."

Adrian moved away a fraction and I let out a complaining sound. He smirked. "I don't believe it. Rose Hathaway apologized to her nerdy human friend that punched her?"

I rolled my eyes for the millionth time. "Can you stop talking?" I said, looking at him intently.

I actually saw him for the first time since I returned into the house. He changed his clothes – now he wore a black T-shirt and his old denim trousers. He smelled so good; he smelled like home.

I sniffed, trying not to be so obvious. I couldn't believe that he actually did what he asked from me, but when I realized his hands were moving along the length of my arms, I knew he just didn't want to talk anymore – it had nothing to do with my request.

But then again, he wouldn't be Adrian Ivashkov if he kept silent for longer than two seconds. The time was up. "Should I press you up that wall again?" he whispered near my ear. I shuddered again, but not out of fear this time.

I grinned. "You can, if you won't take me to Re-education."

Adrian didn't waste time, probably realizing that we wouldn't get a chance like this for days. I was pressed up the wall again, my wrists in one of his hands above my head, his other hand lingering on my left cheek.

"I won't take you to Re-education," he said in a low voice. "But I'll gladly educate you."

And… yeah. Then we started kissing hungrily. He never kissed me that hard before, but I wasn't scared or surprised – it just meant I could respond with the same fierceness.

His hand traveled to the back of my neck and he brought our faces even closer, as close as physically possible. His other hand left my wrists and got tangled in my hair.

I didn't waste time either – I tangled my own hands in Adrian's hair, making him groan in response. Having him this close was like sitting down after running for hours – a relief. But then again, I felt as if his mouth never even left mine.

It was too easy to lose track of time when we kissed. The Alchemist part of me was angry that I still didn't find out how exactly Adrian managed to convince everyone to freeze the mission, and it was anxious that we didn't know what to do next and how to continue. I knew I'd have to call Marcus soon and I knew I'd have to press Trey for more information.

But the larger part of me was just happy that I was finally in Adrian's embrace, even if it lasted only for a short moment. I could never get enough of him, and the whole sneaking around thing made us both want each other even more hungrily.

But the moment ended when I heard a masculine voice say, "I knew it!"

Adrian immediately turned his head around and we both saw Christian standing in the doorway, his eyes full of excitement as if he discovered something very important for science, his arms crossed across his chest.

Adrian smiled. "You just had to interrupt, did you?"

Why was he so calm? Weren't we supposed to explain this or something? I tried to move away, but Adrian's hands gripped my head tightly.

Christian raised an eyebrow. "You realize that a few minutes ago you said you and Ivashkov were associated only by business? I don't think making out counts as that."

I blushed wildly. Adrian laughed beside me. "Yeah, Pyro, we're making out. Take the hint and close the door."

I looked at Adrian, confused. He winked at me. Christian didn't even move. "Nope. I think that your little human has some explaining to do."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do I need to explain?"

Adrian grinned and shook his head. "Not that again," he muttered to himself. What was going on here? Besides Christian obviously knowing about Adrian and me?

"You are with him just because of his money," Christian said, his face dead-serious, while Adrian growled and put his head into my hair.

"He's joking, right?" I whispered and Adrian shook his head.

"I'm not," Christian said, still dead-serious.

"Right. Moroi hearing." I rolled my eyes. "Well, Christian, I am sorry to inform you, but I have enough money and Adrian is hardly in a position to give me any, even if I needed it."

"She paid for my art classes," Adrian said, his voice slightly muffled. "And for the self-defence class."

"I still think it's just matherialistic," Christian said and then he furrowed is eyebrows. "Is it because of the title 'Lord?' She'd become a Lady then."

I laughed. "You are either crazy or very, very sarcastic. I hope it's not the former."

"Get out," Adrian growled, his voice still muffled. "I want to kiss her."

Now Christian rolled his eyes. "At least I confirmed it. And why did you act so bitchy?"

Oh no. That word again. I gulped. "Because of my sister," I said in a low voice, knowing he could hear me.

Christian raised an eyebrow. "You acted like a bitch and called us vampires and stuff because of your sister?"

Adrian laughed. "You're not allowed to talk to my girlfriend like that, Pyro," he said through a laugh. "Imagine me talking to Lissa like that."

"Whoa, whoa," Christian said, astonished. "That escalated way too quickly. Girlfriend? I thought she was just an entertainment."

"What?" I heard myself say in surprise.

Adrian slowly raised his head. The smile was gone from his face. "Sydney is not entertainment for me," he said calmly. Too calmly.

Christian smiled. "Sorry, man. Guess I just got it wrong. It still doesn't answer my question – why did you act like that?"

Adrian answered before I got the chance. "There is your answer. She acted. We do that sometimes."

Christian blinked. "Okay. I'm out of here. I officially have no idea what is going on. Adrian has a girlfriend that is an Alchemist and that acts like a bit-"

After seeing the look on Adrian's face, he gulped and continued, "Strange because of her sister, but it's an act because they love to act sometimes? Is that a foreplay or something? Because I don't understand."

Adrian shook his head. "I'll explain later. I'm kind of busy right now."

Christian rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded like, "Crazy lovers."

As soon as he closed the door, my body was pressed up between the wall and Adrian and I lost track of time.

Yeah. Not going to Mexico suddenly seemed like the best thing that ever happened to me.


	40. Chapter 8, part six: Trust And Love

**Author's note: **_I am sorry for not answering to your reviews (the last I answered is TheHappyLol's), but if I do I won't have money on my phone to be able to update. As soon as I charge it, I'll make sure to answer all reviews with a PM! But for now, please settle on my A/N answers._

_I noticed that many of you don't believe that Adrian is going to die in TFH. You did make me freak out less, but I'm still freaking out. I don't want anything bad to happen to him, but did you read the last tweet in chapter 23? It's "We hate this plan! ADRIAN NOOOOO! We are broken" and no, there's nothing to freak out about. What will Adrian do? I am so frustrated. And so scared._

_My fellow reviewers (I smiled this morning, seeing how many people rviewed):_

_1. __TheHappyLol__ – Too shocked that I don't drink soda? Well, I'm glad you came out of the shock by reading all those chapters. Thank you so much for coming back! :)_

_2. __Alicella Ivashkov__ – I laughed when I read your review. I managed to confuse us all, but it'll clear out, I promise. I just have so many things to write about – magic, Marcus, school (that I still didn't infiltrate), vampire hunters, romances, the Alchemists, Zoe, the divorce, Moroi assassins, Lissa… I kind of got lost in all of this :D Thank you so much! :)_

_3. __KyKat__ – Awwh, protectiveness. I love it too. And I kind of get those brotherly vibes from Adrian and Christian, since they're both not accepted by the societies they live in, they both have awesome girlfriends and ask themselves 'What does she see in me?' Okay, I should probably put these thoughts into a chapter :D Thanks for telling me I'm awesome! You are more awesome :)_

_4. __Catchick10__ – Glad it was fun, it doesn't even matter where you were! Thank you for telling me my chapter is great. You are wonderful :)_

_5. __Totalbooknerd13__ – Yes, Christian is clueless. If he knew how awesome Sydney is, he wouldn't think she loved Adrian because of his money :D Thank you for your endless support! :)_

_6. __sheerio4ever__ – Oh, I hope you like the next 33 chapters! You have a lot more to read. I'll make sure to read your story when I gain Internet access (actually, I want to review and read all the stories from all my readers!) and I just know it's awesome. Thank you for reviewing and for your kind words! :)_

_7. __casstella__ – Wait, what happened in chapter 38? I didn't know it was that awesome :D Glad you liked it, and thank you so much! :) Oh, another review! I am glad I can help with your writer's block. When I have it, I just try to focus on the very next thing that happens. The next minute of the story. After I write that, it all sort of starts forming in my head and I know how to continue. Writer's block never stopped me from updating daily, hope it's like that for you too! And again, thank you for your kind words :)_

_8. __Rebelde09__ – Ah, my dear friend. All the pairing names are weird, but the least weird for me is Trengeline? I love the fact that you loved the new chapter. I shiver every time I think about the ending… but still, I know that I'll read the book immediately, November 19__th__. And then I'll just sit and cry, realizing I have to wait so long for the next book. Thank you for supporting me constantly, if for anything I'll continue because I know you'll always read! :)_

_9. __Bukwurm13__ – You got it partially wrong. What I wanted to write was "buried his head in my hair," but it came out very wrong. 11 PM does that to me all the time, so thanks for the tip. I hope I can correct it tomorrow :) Yay! You liked the chapter! It means so much. You're sorry for asking about SA? Don't be. I broke things off and to be honest, I feel relieved. It was the right thing to do, but when I remember the good things, I kind of regret it sometimes, you know? We shared dreams… and now we don't. I try to keep positive and tell myself that when (and if) I go to SA someday it'll be the ending. I'll be able to bury that part of me somewhere and live my life normally. But then again, epic love doesn't happen at this age, so it'll pass. Two years passed already and it is better. Think of the one-shot, because I'll be asking for details! You know I'm crazy :D And thanks for telling me I'm awesome, for always supporting me even though you have so many obligations… Really, thank you. :)_

_10. __kajjjann__ – A new reviewer! Welcome to the gang of crazy people! Thank you so much for these words. I am actually convinced that my characters are OOC and I try to make them do things normal for them, while they end up doing quite the opposite. I mean, Sydney never cries and I make her cry. I make her irresponsible and I make her forget about the essential things while making out in the kitchen. Adrian kind of lost his sarcasm and is a very mature guy? I don't want to even mention the others. But if you say they're fine… I'm all for that! So thanks! :D_

_Ah, my beautiful friends. I love you all so much. Nothing of this would happen if you weren't there for me, pushing me forward! And yes, I'll be boring again and mention __**HopperIvashkinator**__ for the millionth time. Go PM her, review her stories, tell her how awesome she is! And tell her that Ehlymana loves her so much! Too much, actually. I miss you, sister, I miss you so much. I just hope everything is okay._

_Okay. This chapter will be dedicated to the new book's name, since I'm finally dealing with spirit darkness and Adrian losing his sanity. I hope I'll do it right and that you'll like it! :)_

_Yeah, these characters aren't mine. They belong to Richelle Mead._

Adrian and I actually did have a conversation about what happened. I told him about Angeline, Trey and Ms. Terwilliger wanting of me to develop telepathy. I earned just an amused expression. Adrian earned half-opened mouth, a cry of excitement and a hug when he told me about his monologue in front of everyone. I was so proud of him, and he knew it. I couldn't erase the grin off his face.

But then he earned a slap in the face that I didn't turn into reality when he told me that the following persons knew about our relationship: Christian, Lissa, Dimitri and Eddie. Plus Jill and Angeline, and that left only one person in the shadows – Rose. I didn't want to think about what would happen if she found out about us. I just knew that someone would probably die.

Okay, there was another important person – Zoe. If she found out, Rose's reaction would seem tame in comparison. I'd be sent to Re-education or maybe just executed without any further delay. And if the Alchemists found out about my involvement with magic… that'd be even weirder.

And then the conversation became awkward, as much as it ever could be with Adrian.

"We need to talk about the day when I… bit you," Adrian said in a low voice. He was sitting on a chair, while I was sitting on the table (and I ended up there in the heat of the moment), his hands straightening my fingers. He was looking at our hands, as if he was embarrassed. Why was he acting like that? I mean, I was the one that was supposed to be embarrassed and I felt like that slightly, but I won't deny that I didn't feel disgusted. How could anything about Adrian and me be disgusting? It really changed my view on him from the vampire side.

But he was right – we needed to talk about this. So I just said, "Okay."

Adrian lifted his head, his emerald eyes looking into my soul, destroying all my defenses and making me shudder once again. Everything was worth having those eyes love me. That look was worth of losing everything.

"I know you'll never, ever be able to forgive me, but I'm sorry," Adrian said quietly, making me think I imagined it.

I didn't understand. What was he apologizing for?

I said as much. "What are you apologizing for?" I asked him, confused.

He sighed. "Sydney, I took the most precious thing from you. I took your dignity and crushed it. Your whole life you were taught that all we vampires wanted was to taste your blood, and I just proved everyone right. I am the very thing everyone taught you to despise. I don't even understand how you didn't leave me yet, but I suppose it's because you need me to clean all this mess with Jill and assassins and the Alchemists." His eyes were slightly unfocused and a thought occurred to me that it was spirit, messing with his head. Fear suddenly overwhelmed me.

I slid off the table, directly into his lap. "Are you crazy?" I said, astonished.

Adrian didn't look at me, so I put my hands on his cheeks and forced him to look at me. "You didn't force me into anything. If I remember correctly, I was the one that asked you to. And I was taught to despise Strigoi, those who kill out of pleasure. I can't hate someone so…" I paused, searching for an adequate word, "perfect and innocent and good as you. There is not a spot of evil in you, Adrian."

His eyes were unfocused, and he just whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

It was time to start panicking, but I forced myself to remain calm, at least on the outside. I shifted so that our faces were touching and I whispered, "Come back to me, Adrian."

His eyes were still unfocused, but he didn't say anything. His whole body was very stiff, as if he was a rock. His breathing was shallow – too shallow for my liking. My heart was beating so loudly that I thought I would get a heart attack. _Calm down, Sydney. He needs you._ I found Adrian's hands and intertwined our fingers. Then I put our hands on my chest and buried my head in the crook of his neck, kissing the skin near his ear.

"Come back to me," I tried again. "Fight it, Adrian."

His hand squeezed mine and he whispered so quietly, "It's so dark…"

A sob escaped me and I knew I'd start crying if spirit didn't stop affecting him. _Please, God, bring him back to me. Please._

"Adrian," I whispered again. "I'm here."

His body suddenly started shaking. "Oh my God," he whispered as he gasped.

My vision was disturbed by tears in my eyes, but I managed to see that his pupils were normal again when I pulled back. Adrian was blinking and as soon as he saw me, he pulled me into an embrace.

I sobbed into his chest. "I am sorry, Sydney," he said so softly. It made me sob harder.

Why did this have to happen? Why did this perfect person have to lose his sanity, bit by bit, day by day? Why couldn't I take his insanity and fight it for him? The worst thing that could ever happen to anyone was losing your mind. If you lost yourself, you lost everything. Why did Adrian have to lose himself? Why did I have to lose him?

"Sydney," Adrian whispered. "It's okay. I'm here. Everything is all right." It was as if he could read my thoughts. He owned me completely – as soon as he told me everything was okay, I believed it.

But no. everything wasn't okay. I shook my head, trying to ignore the wonderful feelings his hands summoned up when he pulled them through my hair. "No. Spirit is bothering you, and I'm losing you, and I can't do anything to prevent it." My voice broke after that and I found myself unable to speak.

Adrian pulled away a millimeter, not enough to make me feel unsafe, but enough to make him see my face. "Don't worry, baby. It lasted only for a moment. It always does. I'm fine."

"Stop saying you're fine when you're anything but," I whispered.

"Okay. Then what do you want me to say?" Adrian said softly, his hands on my cheeks now. "Sydney, I am a spirit user and there's a price for every second I use my magic. This is the price, and if I can help you, Jill and everyone else by being able to access my magic, then I'll gladly pay that price."

Another tear slid down my cheek and Adrian wiped it immediately. "I don't want to lose you," I heard myself say. "You're all I have. If I lose you, I'll be alone in the world."

It was as if I was watching a movie. Every word I said was automatic and painfully true. Every word I said broke my heart and it hurt so much, but I was unable to stop it. The truth was that I was going to lose Adrian because of this or that and that there was no way to save him. Lissa was going to lose herself, and Sonya too. Jill could take a fraction of Adrian's madness to herself, but it was nowhere near enough.

A thought occurred to me – maybe Ms. Terwilliger could help. Maybe my magic could help. I'd read every magic book in the world until I found a cure. With that thought, I took a shaky breath and stopped crying. I also realized that since I fell in love with Adrian, I cried more than I did my whole life. I knew that this was going to be hard, but just the thought of losing the only man I ever loved made me shudder.

"Sydney," Adrian said again, melting me in his hands. "You won't lose me. I'm here." He took my hand and put it on the left side of his chest. The Alchemist side of me screamed that the heart wasn't actually there, but in the middle. It didn't matter – I could feel the steady heartbeat there. It soothed me and I stopped shaking. "See?" Adrian said, smiling. "It's all right."

I managed to calm down a bit. "Anti-depressants?" I suggested. "They'd cut you off from your magic, but you wouldn't be in danger of going crazy," I said, hoping he'd agree.

But Adrian shook his head. "If you were hurt and I couldn't access my magic, I wouldn't be able to help."

"But that's how normal people are!" I said, more loudly than I intended.

Adrian looked at me intently with his too-green-to-be-true eyes. "Sydney," he said for the millionth time, "My magic is the only useful part of me. Without it, I'm nothing." He shut his eyes tightly and drew in a sharp breath. "And if you were hurt…" he gulped. "I'd die. I'd die, knowing that I was able to help you, but I didn't help because I was afraid of a little spirit darkness."

"But Adrian," I said gently as I put my hand on his right cheek and touched it with my fingers, "Magic is not the best part of you. I'd gladly put myself in danger if it'd mean you being sane and safe. You're not nothing without your magic. You are my Adrian – my light, my love, the only part of my life that's worth something." I wasn't good with words, but I hoped he could understand. How could he say that without his magic he was nothing? How could he think so low of himself?

Adrian's eyes widened and he gasped. "You can't- You don't" he stammered.

I smiled slightly. "You are worth so much more than you think. You don't need magic to be amazing – you have your wonderful paintings, you have your sense of leadership, you have your enormous brain, your good looks, your goodness and your heart. Just the fact that you wouldn't be able to heal people doesn't mean you're worthless. It just makes those other abilities stand out."

Suddenly, Adrian's lips were against mine, kissing me very softly. I didn't understand with what I deserved that, but it wasn't enough so I pulled him towards me. It was easy since I was already in his lap and the table was behind us.

Adrian smiled against my lips, but didn't kiss me any harder. I protested by making a strange sound.

He chuckled and gently pulled our faces apart. I opened my eyes and found myself looking into those beautiful green eyes of his. Everything about him was perfect – his lips, his nose, his eyes, his eyelashes and eyebrows, his tan, his cheeks, his hair, his forehead, his ears, his lean, tall body, his wonderful chest and his beautiful arms… How did this perfect man fall in love with me? How could he fall in love with this boring person?

Adrian kissed my forehead and his lips remained there, his warm breath on my skin. He chuckled. "So, you think I have an enormous brain?" We both laughed.

After a second, he gently kissed my cheek. "You couldn't have meant what you said," he whispered. "You must've been under compulsion or something."

I closed my eyes and laughed. "Why can't you accept the fact that you're amazing? Why can't you see what a magnificent man you are?"

Adrian stopped touching my cheek with his lips – and consequently stopped driving me crazy. "You are the only person that sees me like that," he whispered. I knew he was vulnerable now and that my every word would be either a knife or a caress, so I needed to take care of every word I said. "Everyone else just write me off as useless, crazy Moroi guy without hope to do anything with his life."

"We both know you're so much more than that," I whispered back. "We both know that here-" and I gently touched his chest with my palm, pointing to his heart, "lies a beautiful man. Everyone are just too shallow to see him."

Adrian gasped again. "But why…" he stopped, closing his eyes. "Why did you let me…" and his finger was suddenly on my neck, touching the place where was supposed to be a bite mark. That place meant so much for both of us. It was a mark of trust, love, passion, fear, uncertainty, need… it marked so many things.

"I had many reasons," I whispered. "I wanted to find out if there was something wrong with my blood. I wanted to show you that I loved you enough to let you do that. I wanted to show you that I belong to you. I wanted to give you something mine. I wanted to get it over with, but in the same time, I craved for it." I took a deep breath, knowing how important my next words would be. Adrian would understand. He wouldn't feel disgusted by me. I had to tell him this.

"And I was right to do so," I continued, my voice sounding certain. "Those were the best moments of my life. I felt close to you and it's the only important thing. I knew you'd never hurt me and as soon as you touched me, the fear disappeared. You didn't take anything away from me. You just proved to me that the vampire part of you is as equally beautiful as all other parts of you."

Adrian's finger kept on touching my neck and it made me shudder. He kissed the skin there and my heart immediately started beating faster. Would he do that again?

"I don't get it," he whispered. "You are an Alchemist and when I do exactly what all Alchemists expect, you tell me I'm beautiful."

"It's the truth," I said with great fierceness.

Adrian shook his head and trailed kisses up to my cheek. "I love you," he said gently.

My stomach flipped. God, I was in love. But it wasn't time to respond yet. "So you're not… disgusted by me actually liking that?" I whispered, feeling embarrassed. I bit my lower lip and Adrian laughed.

"Me? No, are you crazy? You are supposed to like it. You know, endorphins and stuff."

I pulled back to look him in the eyes. There was something else I wanted to tell him, but everything in me screamed that I shouldn't. Everything in me told me that this was some dark, unknown part of me. I gulped as Adrian's gaze traveled through my body. He fixed it on my eyes. Could he see how confused I was by myself? Could he see how deeply I changed? Could he see how much I loved him?

"You want it again," he whispered and I turned my head away. That was it and we both knew it. I was an Alchemist, for the God's sake. This was something we all feared, something that was worse even than Re-education. But when I remembered how complete I felt in those several moments, I couldn't help but want it to happen again. My heartbeats were frantic again and just Adrian's hand, turning my head towards his again, prevented me from starting to cry or scream in frustration. What was happening to me? Was I really becoming evil? If the Alchemists knew about everything I've done… I was surprised that I didn't freak out earlier, but I was so busy that I didn't even have time. Now, confronted with my deeds, I felt small and my hands started shaking.

"Sydney," Adrian said gently. "It's okay."

I shook my head. "No," I whispered. "It's not okay. How is it okay to want this?"

Adrian smiled. "There's nothing wrong in it, Sydney. I felt the same," he said and averted his gaze, as if he was feeling uncomfortable. "Your blood was… the best thing that ever happened to me. I've never felt this close to anyone." He slowly brought our faces together, until our foreheads were touching. "I told you I'd never do it again. I won't. It's the price for doing that to you. It's the price for feeling that powerful for a second – I can never allow myself that again. Not if you'll end up scared and confused and doubting everything you believe in. And addicted."

I released the breath I started holding when he started talking. "Thank you," I whispered. Suddenly everything seemed so simple to me – I was with the man I loved, here and now. Nothing else mattered.

"I love you," I said without even thinking.

The kiss started as gentle, innocent and the proof of our mutual love, care and trust, but it grew in intensity and I lost sense of time. My hands were wrapped around his back, while his roamed under my shirt, trailing my spine. Then his mouth moved to my neck and I had no fear – I knew he'd keep his promise. I just closed my eyes and sighed, enjoying the feeling of just being this close to someone.

But then my peace disappeared. The door to the kitchen opened, and I realized my shirt was pulled down on the left shoulder. Adrian froze, his lips on my collarbone.

"Adrian, I know you can eat much but this is too…"

I shut my eyes tightly. I knew this voice and I knew it was too late for explanations. I just tried to brace myself for what came next.

But I was shocked when Rose spoke her next words. "Are you feeding from her?" she said incredulously.

Adrian immediately pulled back and looked at Rose. This was our chance, we both knew – we could make this look like some weird feeding session with an Alchemist or we could speak the truth and say that we were in love.

I didn't know which was worse – to make me look like an addict or just a crazy traitor.

I made the decision. I tried to sound annoyed. "Yes, and you interrupted. Now get out and close the door."

Adrian's eyes widened and he looked at me, surprised to hear what he did. Rose's expression was slightly more astonished than his.

I gulped and nodded at Adrian. He closed his eyes for a moment and then turned around. "I'll be out in a minute," he said and his mouth was suddenly on my neck. I shivered.

Rose gasped and I knew we'd have to do this. She wasn't going to leave. So much for keeping promises. "I'm sorry," Adrian whispered and the next thing I knew was pain.

Then, I was in heaven.


	41. Chapter 9, part one: Old Friendships

**Author's note: **_Good evening to everyone! First I have a few things to share with you, and then you'll read._

_The ending of the previous chapter is very astonishing for me, I must admit. I am supposed to continue this story and when I scrolled to the end of the previous chapter, I was like, "What? When did this happen?" so yeah, I'm as astonished as everyone. :D_

_The other thing is that I really am crazy and going in favor to my readers (and imagine me winking ;D). Let's be honest – this story is nothing like the real TFH will be. I mean, I respect and honor myself but ADRIAN BITING SYDNEY? TWICE? Ha, ha, ha. Richelle would never to that, as much as we'd all want to. So I'm making this a little flexible. Okay, what's the thing? The thing is that everyone are eager to hear from Adrian and to drown in what I think are his thoughts. As I said before, I fulfilled TheHappyLol's wish before she went to vacation and melted together chapters 7 and 9 and wrote them both. Now, the logical thing would be for me to write chapter 10 after chapter 8, again in Sydney's POV, right? Because I already used up those tweets! And in the real TFH we'll have parallel actions – chapter 8, Sydney is in school chasing after Angeline and doing God knows what else, while chapter 9 is Adrian facing whatever he needs to in the same time! But you wanted Adrian, so I'll redo those tweets. That will be kind of cool, using the same sentences for different situations, right? So I am sorry for all of you who hoped I'd get into Richelle's head. I just hope we're all entertained by my rambling :D_

_And oh, I noticed that KeepCalmAndDream is complaining that my story has too many words :P And okay, that is true, since I'm on chapter 9 and the story's already 100k long. We'll make a deal – if I don't manage to finish all chapters until TFH is out, I'll just end the story on November 19__th__ with some cheesy happy ending and go fangirl about the book, be unavailable for days crying because of the ending, et cetera. I think that's fair! And since I don't live in the USA where the book comes out immediately (I'll be happy if I get the book in 2016, since TIS will come out here – in English – next April), I'll need an eBook or some other readable form! And I'm depressed. "Silver Shadows" makes me uneasy. I think we all need to just calm down and wait for the cover. If there's no Adrian on it, we can cry. Or if he has red eyes. Or… or if he's not his usual self. Or if there's Marcus on the cover again (who is supposed to be blonde, by the way!)_

_I'm rambling too much. I'm in that kind of mood today, since I almost read the 3__rd__ book of The Mortal Instruments. Any opinions on that?_

_And I got lost in all reviews and messages. I am sorry that I probably answered 5 reviews in 5 PMs to one person or if I didn't answer some review. Those who don't have profiles (of course) will be answered here and if you're not on the list, just skip it! I'm rambling today. The author's note is already 600 words long, and I haven't even started. And if you knew how many reviews there are… okay. Okay._

_1. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__ is angry that everyone interrupts our Sydrian moments! Ah, I wonder why I do that. But there'll be time for Sydrian. I'm too stressed out by so many other plots and things going on that Sydrian shouldn't even be happening. Thank you for your support! :)_

_2. __**TheHappyLol**__ is kind of sad, but she is still my crazy popcorn-cider-soda girl. And don't you dare worry! Everything is okay, or if it's not (and I know it is, even though you claim otherwise), it will be when you read this author's note and the next chapter! And I am so excited for the new chapter of your story. Thank you, thank you! :D_

_3. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__ has a strange username, but I hoped I didn't write it wrong. I know what "knows all" means, but what about the rest? I'm curious. You are a new reviewer and I'm welcoming you and hoping you'll stay a reader and a reviewer until I end this story. I hope other writers learn on my example that if you're warm, close to your readers and if you let everyone know how interested in writing you are, everyone are going to love you. Thank you so much for your support! I hope you'll review further chapters too :)_

_4. __**Lilietje99**__, I don't even have to comment on her.3 reviews! :D I'm glad you find the time to read! And oh, Rose is going to get mad. Like, really mad. You made me laugh with your reviews because you're so confused and it's confusing :P And he called her like that 7 times? I might have overdid it :D what is absurd in my story is that Sydney keeps on being soothed when she reacts badly to other people's problems. And yeah, Sydney will soon have a problem. Hope the wait wasn't too long? Thanks for supporting me, always! :) _

_5. __**ranDomXx**__ oh Hi, new reviewer! I'm glad you decided to review and I hope you'll keep on doing that. I'm kind of annoyed that I can't PM you because I'm not sure if you'll read this, but well. What can I do. Rose is going to change the way she thinks of Adrian – in this chapter! And I hope you'll like it! Thank you so much :)_

_6. __**KeepCalmAndDream**__? I don't have anything to say for her either. Just that she's in almost every author's note, that she's crazy for my story, that she loves Adrian and that I love her. Thanks for everything, buddy! :D_

_7. __**KyKat**__, I love it how you review constantly. Hope your answer for spirit darkness was okay. I'm glad you like the story. Thank you for your constant support! :)_

_8. __**sheerio4ever**__ is my new fangirl! She loves the story and she didn't even read everything yet! And she's been bombarding me with reviews! And I love that! And I hope I wasn't too bad when I answered to your every single review, I think you got around 10 messages from me :D thank you, I hope you keep reading and reviewing! :D_

_9. __**Totalbooknerd13**__ always reviews. And I'm not sure how you feel about Rose – if you love her or not. But hey, she'll get different throughout the chapters! Can I ever thank you enough? I really think that you reviewed every chapter, like HopperIvashkinator did. And that tells a lot! So yes, thank you! :)_

_10. __** Rebelde09**__ is my fellow reviewing friend who is with me almost since the beginning. I also hope that I'll never write a situation in which he'll deal with it alone. And yes, the masses went crazy about the second bite, but it'll get better, I hope. Thank you, thank you, and thank you! You are amazing, not my chapters ;D_

_11. __**SoZina**__ is another new reviewer! And I love that in one author's note I'm welcoming so many new people! My story hooked you? That really is a compliment. And really, the whole review is wonderful, and makes me proud of myself. I am so glad that you think like this, and thank you. I hope that you'll keep on reading, if you're too lazy to review! ;)_

_12. __**casstella**__, my fellow friend, put this in top 10! I do wonder what other eight chapters made it to the top (we have c40 and c38 :D), and don't worry. I won't make him mad, just a little moody. I also hope the wait wasn't too long for you! And of course, thank you so much! :D_

_And __**HopperIvashkinator**__**. **__She deserves… something in the rank of a whole one-shot series dedicated to her. With 100 chapters. And 100,000k words. Minimum. Is there anything else I have to say? Yes! SISTER, YOU'RE BACK AND I'M SO HAPPY! And I'm so proud because you're proud of me. You made me start, and I started. Then you kept me going and even away, you still keep me going. What can I do to repay you, to even say how much I love you and to show my gratitude to you? But you know all of this and you love me too :P_

_I'm really getting good vibes from the people around here. You are all so kind, supporting, write awesome stories and understand me. Seriously, coming here and starting to write is a very positive thing that happened to me. I become happy just by making you happy. And it's enough. Love you all!_

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead, but you already know that, right? Because I don't usually write fiction. I either write poetry or my artistic views of the world :D_

I heard people say life changed within moments. I heard people say you could just stand and watch while everything changed, fell apart. And you couldn't do anything to change it until it was too late.

Well, I wasn't exactly standing, but everything else was true.

I was kissing Sydney's shoulder, and then everything started moving in slow-motion. Rose came in. we had two choices – either to confess that we were in a relationship, which would result in a disaster, or to let her think her initial conclusion – that I was feeding from Sydney – was correct. I saw fear and then determination flash in Sydney's amber eyes. I was watching a movie in which I was just a static, confused figure.

Rose gasped when Sydney told her I was feeding from her and to leave us alone. Sydney started shuddering, from desire or fear, I wasn't sure. I whispered, "I'm sorry," knowing that it was a hard decision for her to make and that it'd have awful consequences, but that the dark part of her wanted it.

And I couldn't refuse that dark part of her what it wanted. I knew this was becoming increasingly dangerous; I knew that every time I bit her, she became more dependent of it, but I knew that I was already dependent on her – not on her blood, but on being close to her, on feeling her heat and her frantic heartbeat.

So yes, I bit her. All fear was gone from Sydney's body, because the endorphins kicked in. And her blood… How can I describe it? It was like when you had 30 bottles of wine, and you had to choose the best. Well, Sydney was that for me – the purest, the best, the sweetest, and the most satisfying wine I ever tasted in my life. And I really had to make myself stop drinking it, despite my and Sydney's body's protests.

It was as if the time stopped – nothing moved, nobody's heart beat, nobody breathed, nothing. It was just me , suspended in time, savouring this moment forever. Why? Because I knew this would never happen again – if Sydney's will wasn't strong enough, my will would be. I made an oath to myself and to Sydney that I'd never, ever taste her blood again except if it was totally necessary, and that would be only in case I was dying from lack of blood in the desert and Sydney was there. And I sealed that oath in Sydney's blood, which I tasted for the last time.

And just as I drew back and clock started ticking again, something grabbed me from behind. That's when things shifted into fast-motion. I was thrown backwards and hit the floor, groaning, while someone screamed something. I opened my eyes, feeling healthy and refreshed and I saw Rose hovering over Sydney's body. Yes, I said it correctly – body. Her eyes were closed and her head was dangerously tilted to one side. Did she lose consciousness? Did I really… hurt her?

This made no sense. I couldn't have done something like that. There must have been some explanation. In that moment, I was afraid and disgusted by what I was, even if I never chose it. I was disgusted by what I've done. I had a choice. I could have just turned around and taken responsibility for my actions, but no, I was selfish and I wanted to have Sydney only for myself.

But Sydney moaned and slowly opened her eyes, and I willed myself not to die – I was near a heart attack. Thank God, she was fine.

Rose was still mostly blocking Sydney – and I couldn't help compare the two of them and get a conclusion that Sydney _was_ thinner than Rose – and I could only see her golden hair from where I was standing, so I came closer.

As soon as Rose noticed, she hissed, "Get out of here! Are you crazy? You could have killed her!"

Even Sydney, high and out of focus, rolled her eyes. "Don't dramatize too much, Rose," she said, sleepy. Well, I couldn't blame her. The endorphins gave quite a high compared to other drugs I tried. And I tried a lot of drugs.

"Sydney, you do realize that you've just been…" she gulped, reminding me of a child that was afraid to swear, "bitten?"

Sydney nodded lightly, and I couldn't help but interfere. She needed help, and she needed for Rose to get out of here. "You really shouldn't have entered the kitchen when you saw…" I started.

I never finished that sentence. Suddenly, my back hit the wall hard and I flinched. I had no time to regain my composure, since strong hands gripped my wrists, putting them above my head. "I knew there was something off about you two," Rose said bitterly. "Now I know what it is. You are using her as your _bloodwh_-"

Thankfully, Rose was interrupted by Sydney's moan. "Adrian," she whispered. "My head hurts."

Rose and I locked our eyes. She wouldn't win this fight; I wouldn't let her. "You have no respect for her, or for anyone except for yourself," she said, rage radiating off her.

I laughed breathlessly. "You know nothing about this and don't act like it's not true."

I freed my hand from her grasp and ran towards Sydney. My hand was immediately on her neck, healing her wound and her headache. "Are you dizzy?" I asked gently, part of me worried, part of me confused and part of me amused.

"A little," she whispered. I leaned closer to her, hoping Rose wouldn't be able to hear my next words.

"You know I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this," I whispered near her ear, my breath on her skin. _At least the largest part of me didn't want it, and the punishment for the rest of me will be never doing it again_, I thought.

"It's okay," Sydney said, sounding tired. "You didn't do anything wrong."Yes, her pupils were huge and the amber was just a thing ring around them, but the look in her eyes still managed to calm me and look honest.

She couldn't have been comfortable on a kitchen chair. We had to get her to her room. "Can you stand up?" I asked gently, touching Sydney's cheek with my fingers.

Sydney tried and failed to get up, so I just took her in my arms. Started carrying her out of the room, but Rose was immediately at our side. "And where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you yet-"

I just shook my head. "She needs to rest. I'll get her to her room and come back to _try_ explaining this to you. The key word is _try_."

Rose humphed and crossed her arms on her chest, but made no protest. Weird. I would have expected a better fight of her. Guess I expected wrong.

I carried Sydney up the stairs, not seeing anyone on the way, but I did hear some strange noises that were similar to people arguing over something unimportant, and tucked her into her bed. Her hair sprawled across her pillow, her eyelids fluttering shut, her mouth half-open, her tan a little pale… I couldn't help but see how beautiful she looked, even though she didn't know it. I kissed her forehead and drew away, and when she moaned in protest, I simply said, "Rest. I got this covered. I know exactly who to use as a solution for this situation."

And I knew just who to use.

"What?" Rose said in a high-pitched voice. "You expect me to believe that Abe… that my father tried to blackmail her into giving him her blood? And that he wanted to do it himself?"

I was leaning against the kitchen wall – the same wall where I was kissing Sydney a few minutes ago – my expression calm, my head now slowly nodding. I might have been slightly smirking, but that's what Adrian Ivashkov is all about, right?

But I didn't realize how I could have been that calm while my girlfriend was dozing off in her bed, having part of her blood taken away by her boyfriend, her whole life and beliefs turning into dust. This, what we were doing, wasn't harmless anymore and I knew it. Sydney was in multiple dangers and she didn't need the endorphin addiction to add up on all that.

At least I could get Rose off that list. I knew how to handle her. "Believe it or not, that's how it is."

"So," Rose said warily, pacing the kitchen, her hands on her hips, her head tilted upwards, as if she was thinking hard, "Sydney wanted to stop the pressure. Abe can be very pressing. And she just let you… try her blood? Without any repulsiveness, disgusted faces, spraying holy water on her neck?"

I chuckled. "Sydney's not that kind of a person. She has a goal and she does everything in her power to achieve it. In this case, the goal was getting Abe off her neck."

Rose stopped and turned around, looking at me. "So the mystery is solved? Her blood isn't repulsive to the Moroi? It's just bad for Strigoi and ex-Strigoi?"

At that I stopped smirking. "I have a theory of my own, if you're willing to listen," I said carefully. I still wasn't used to this mature-Adrian thing where people actually listened to what I had to say.

Rose narrowed her brown eyes, but said nothing, so I continued. "I think that the reason her blood isn't repulsive to me is that I'm a spirit user, and there's spirit in her blood," I said, nervous to hear how she'd react. "Strigoi can't handle spirit and ex-Strigoi… well, they're marked. Perhaps her blood is repulsive to regular Moroi as well. But for me, it's the purest thing in the whole world."

Rose narrowed her eyes even more, if possible. "You say as if you've tasted it more than once."

I swallowed. That was not what I meant. "No. Just a sip was enough for me to determine that it's the best thing I ever tried."

Rose sat down on the counter, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't get it. The Alchemists run away from us kicking and screaming. And she did too, when she first met me. But now…" Rose shook her head. "She is a totally different person. She dances with Moroi at weddings, steals records from Alchemist facilities, and if I heard correctly, uses people for it, and lets a party-boy bite her to stop being blackmailed by my father?" Rose chuckled. "And I thought of her as an uptight, arrogant scared little girl. She proved me wrong."

"Yeah," I said, deep in thought. "Sydney has that effect on people."

"Are you… disgusted by her?" Rose asked hesitantly. "I mean, I don't know how close you are, but I get the feeling that neither really cares about races here. And how cold Sydney associate with someone like you?"

I frowned. "What does that even mean? 'Someone like me?'"

Rose smirked. "Boys that go to parties, return home late at night, drink alcohol, use girls, never fall in love, care only for themselves…"

That made something in my chest tighten. "I'm not that person anymore. You might as well stop treating me like I am." My voice sounded bitter and cold, but I felt as if I was boiling under the surface.

"I think we all realized that by now," Rose said, smiling. "I thought you'd be sulking, as you were in the beginning. And the thought of the most handsome guy on the planet – except Dimitri – being stuck up on me made me feel wonderful." She sighed. "But then Jill tells me you moved on. And you're in conspiracy with the most… nerdy Alchemist I've ever met, uncovering their secrets. And you're not that boy from the ski lodge anymore. You're someone else now. Someone that earned Sydney's respect. And you're the very thing she hates the most."

I was astonished. "That's got to be worth something," I said in a low voice.

Rose laughed. "I'm going to call Abe and give him a lecture about Sydney, if he doesn't hang up on my by then," and she touched my shoulder with her hand, "and you watch over her. Lissa asked to see her and Zoe, but I suppose it can wait."

"Thanks, Rose," I heard myself say. What was I thanking her for?

"For what?" she asked, obviously surprised.

"For acknowledging me as if I was a living being, and not a thing. That's why I tend to be with Sydney – she treats me like a person that has her own mind and that's capable of making decisions."

Rose smirked. "Well, she certainly respects you enough to let you taste her blood," she said. "Just don't misuse it. Sydney is a good girl. And she knows how to punch."

I rolled my eyes and Rose was out, her laugh lingering in the air, as if it was wrapping itself on me.

Sydney was right to worry about spirit – the darkness was getting worse by the day. But I hadto endure for her, for Jill, Eddie, Angeline, Zoe… I had to endure for them.

And I would.


	42. Chapter 9, part two: New Friendships

**Author's note: **_Oh my God, so many reviews! And PMs! I must admit I'm kind of lost in all of that._

_Okay, this time I'll first mention people, and then ramble:_

_**Sheerio4ever**__ wrote 7 long reviews! She's on chapter 32 and I'm excited to hear her opinion on other chapters. And she is very nice and supportive. Thank you so much for everything :)_

_**Alicella Ivashkov**__ also wrote a beautiful review, supporting Adrian's opinion! And thanks for letting me know chapter 2 of TFH is out. I'll comment on it after mentions. Thank you for supporting me, and for thinking my story is similar to that chapter! It means a lot :D_

_**Lilietje99**____is my wonderful supporter who didn't say anything bad about my decision for that second bite (now that I think about it, nobody did mind that and it's awesome!) And thanks for those words. You do keep me occupied and happy while everyone else is sleeping, since we're in the same time zone, right? :D And I think I'm the one who uses the word "awesome" too much, but I don't know many adjectives!_

_**KyKat**__ liked the explanations. And my visions of the future chapters. I'm glad you did, really, and thank you for mentioning all those things to me (spirit darkness + Sydney's blood)! I do have them in mind, but it's easy to forget in all this mess. :)_

_**ranDomXx**__ I am so glad you loved it! And what do I mean about Richelle Mead saying that the end of TFH will be heart-breaking? I AM SCARED! I don't want to lose Adrian, in any way. "Silver Shadows" is kind of spiritual and that 'shadows' word is kind of… morbid. Why does Adrian have to go crazy? How come Lissa and Sonya don't? (Okay, Sonya did get crazy, but still) And honestly? I bet he dies. I do. In chapter 23 he'll sacrifice himself somehow, for Sydney. And in chapter 24 Sydney is heart-broken. I don't like it. Not at all. Thanks for the review! :D_

_**Totalbooknerd13**__ deserved special place today. Okay. _**Totalbooknerd13 is more awesome than I am**_, I want everyone to know it. She claims that I'm awesome, but I think that constantly reviewing every single chapter is kind of more awesome than being crazy and writing awful chapters. So yeah, all the faithful readers who are with me since July, 10__th__ (was it 10__th__?) are AWESOME! And Totalbookner13 is one of them! :D_

_Okay, what would really be worth of a big facepalm would be if I wrote the wrong username. I can't check my PMs now, so I didn't, right?_

_**KeepCalmAndDream**__ Ah, what to even say for you? You are faithful, nice, you love Adrian and this story and I love you. And what you do. So thanks, for everything! :)_

_**TheHappyLol**__ made me laugh, since she thought I was quitting writing and freaked out. Calm down, I'm not! I just sometimes think that I'm not good enough and that I don't deserve all of you. I am your crazy, what was it, not-drinking-soda-girl, right? And you're the popcorn girl! Now let's throw popcorn at each other, and let me say: Thank you! :D_

_**Rebelde09**__ is also faithful, also writing long reviews, also busy, also wonderful. I wish you (and everyone else who started school already) luck! And I totally understand you not being able to review every day. But I will continue uploading every day until the school starts and I'll skip updates only in October when I have 3-4 exams daily. Now, back to the actual review: thank you so much! Your words encourage me! And do you want me to be honest? Daisy acts better than Nic. I' not sure if she's older or just a bit more talented or it's some Australian thing, but she's a great Sydney. And I must be honest – I didn't see her as Sydney when I first saw the trailers, but now she is Sydney in my head. It's probably the consequence of watching the trailers and the scenes many times, but still. She is my Sydney. Now as for Nic, he is a really nice person and that is a big + that I give him. He has a bit more to learn in terms of acting, but I can watch him and not be bored or disgusted. The only problem I have with him is that his eyes aren't actually green and it kind of ruins it for me (and he is cute with his brown eyes! Okay, not cute, hot), and the fact that I don't know anyone with green eyes just makes it more confusing for me. But when I read or write about Bloodlines, the Adrian in my head is really similar to him. And he definitely wasn't when I first watched the trailers! But that guy from The Host, who played Jared? HELL NO! or that other girl they keep putting as Sydney in fan art. No, thank you. Nic and Daisy may be a bit… I don't know, cliché and obviously not too good actors, but they are my Sydney and Adrian. Or around 90% them._

_**Crystal jaide**__, thank you for calling me amazing! I really hope I will be able to find the book online, but I'm not too optimistic. My friend waited for TGL and TIS and she had to ask some people who got the books on the release day to scan the book for her to be able to read. I mean, I don't care about the source or anything, I just want to read! To find out what'll happen! And I told my friend that as soon as we get the books, we'll call each other and read until 4 – 5 AM and cry together and never hang up until we finish the book. And it'll be a school day, so it's going to get interesting! Thank you for reviewing :D_

_**Bukwurm13**__ wrote the same review twice! And it's so cute! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hmm. Where do I get my inspiration from? HopperIvashkinator helps by randomly coming up with some theme not related to Bloodlines in any way and things suddenly click together in my head. The other part is my endless imagination, my ability of talking much, thinking about the next chapters a lot and motivating myself with these wonderful reviews. But it's mostly because I'm a very happy and a very strange person :D Yeah, I'm kind of surprised myself that Rose didn't punch him! Hope waiting for this upload wasn't too much. And I don't even have a bookstore with books in English here, so I'm really disappointed. How can I expect to get the book if I have to order it from Amazon and then wait? Don't worry, I'll keep writing. Keep R&R, and thank you again! :)_

_**HopperIvashkinator**__, can I hug you now, sister? I'll answer your review here. First of all, I love your passion in writing those wonderful reviews. And yes, you showed to me that a large part of me is the writer. I really wanted to do a quality job, not just passing through the chapters like a tornado. I messed up only chapter 2, writing it in 2k words? :D Yes, you are right – I don't think they'd do the chap40-41 bite, but let's imagine they would! It was an on-spot decision. I planned not to do it, but then I said, "What can it hurt?" :D And I am so happy to have you back too! And you're making me blush with your words. And my author's notes about you just started! ;D We all love Adrian and his loyalty. What can I say to this (how did you say it?) ridiculously smart, crazy sister of mine? I can just say that I LOVE YOU and that we're going to show that math teacher a lesson about who we are! Love you, sis. Don't know what I'd do without you. :)_

_Chapter 2 of TFH. Hmm. It's embarrassing, really. I got it all wrong – the initiation itself, her name, the talk with her mother, everything. But I couldn't have done much about it – it's not as if Richelle actually told us what the initiation would be about! I just hope you continue reading, despite these minor differences. I planned for Sydney to have another talk with her mother already, so don't worry! Sydney is going to choose, but what? I hope I don't decide it on-spot, like I did with the second bite :D_

_Thank you, everyone. I know I'm boring with my ridiculously long author's note s(did you notice that they're getting longer, and longer, and longer?) but I must say that I love you all! And that you're all very important to me!_

_I planned to count the reviewers and award one-shots to significant numbers today, but I didn't have time (actually, I didn't have the laptop), so I hope I'll be able to do it tomorrow. Think and review, and the 400__th__ reviewer will, of course, be awarded with a one-shot too! This is becoming a lottery or something, but another thing – if the 1__st__, the 100__th__, 200__th__ and similar, reviewers are the same, I'll just find the 50__th__ or the 150__th__ and put him instead. Hope you don't mind!_

_All the characters belong to the wonderful Richelle Mead. I want those TFH trailers. Like, now. :D_

Things got a little crazy after Rose left.

I came back into the living room, where Dimitri and an unknown guardian were talking about wards and keeping everyone safe at all times. The unknown guardian left and Dimitri was left alone, moving to stand by the window.

I was past the jealousy thing, but I couldn't deny that he was much, much more handsome than I' ever be – where I was pale, he had a wonderful, _natural_ tan. Where I was ridiculously tall with too slender build, he was dangerously, manly tall. Where I had the rolled-out-of-bed messy hair, he had long, neat hair in a ponytail. And where I wore shirts and trousers, he was all in black, and never, ever leaving his duster behind. He was always wearing it – even in Palm Springs, the hottest place on Earth.

With those thoughts I came by over to the window, and stood beside him. Dimitri nodded at me.

I smiled. "Stressed out, Russian?"

Dimitri smiled back. "A bit. Having two most important women in the whole vampire world under my responsibility while being assigned to the most important man in that same world isn't exactly easy."

Now I nodded. The tone in which we were talking was light, but the situation in which we were currently was anything but. "If there is any way I can help, I will."

"You already did," Dimitri said, obviously proud. "You saved the mission, and probably Jill's life by showing up at the meeting and telling us everything you know." He paused and then turned towards me, his eyes narrowing. "You told us everything you know, right?"

His Russian accent didn't fail to annoy me a bit. In my head swam thoughts – I didn't say about my involvement with Sydney, about Sydney being a witch, about Marcus, about Trey, about the conspiracy against Moroi or about Abe. There were a lot of things I didn't say, knowing it wasn't the right time. Hoping it was never the right time. All these things were exposing Sydney in everyone's eyes, and she was currently lying in a bed, unconscious, after having been bitten.

I smiled at Dimitri. Lying was kind of hard, but it was necessary. For Sydney. "Of course," I said, knowing he wouldn't doubt anything. He trusted me, after all.

Dimitri nodded. "Now, you didn't happen to see Roza anywhere?"

His nickname for Rose did make my jaw tighten, but I said nothing. It was just a reminder of the past. And the past was the past. I was in the present now.

I took a deep breath, remembering what Rose said. "We talked a minute ago," I said in a light tone. "She said she was going to call her father. Something about Sage, apparently."

Dimitri shook his head, smiling. "Ibrahim can handle everyone except his daughter. I'm really sorry for the old man."

I laughed. "I kind of empathize with him."

Dimitri laughed and patted me on the shoulder, leaving.

Now I was alone in the living room, looking through the window. It seemed a lifetime ago… I was standing at the exact same place, not really looking at anything, listening to Sydney saying something unimportant, making me feel uneasy. I didn't know why I felt like that at the time – I just knew that she was stripping all my defenses and that I didn't want that. It was hard, too hard to put them all up, to hide underneath all the bitterness, impoliteness and sarcasm and have it all taken away from you by just a simple sentence from that heavenly being.

And then, when I looked at her, the sun shining, brightening her eyes, I suddenly realized what was wrong. I suddenly realized why I felt uneasy and afraid of her and why I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

It was because I was completely, totally in love with her.

And that thought scared me so much that I immediately pushed her away. She was a human, for the God's sake. Forbidden. Unavailable. End of story. But weren't forbidden, unavailable girls the one that attracted me the most? Then again, she was so innocent. She didn't go out, have a boyfriend, she didn't even go to school. And yet she was so fierce, making me stare at her and avoid her at the same time, not even knowing how beautiful she was. But in that moment, seeing those honest eyes that looked like molten gold, I knew my purpose on this Earth was her. And I'd do anything and everything to show her how much I loved her, how lovable she was.

Of course, later I found out so many things were wrong in her life. That was the string that attached us to each other – we both suffered through our childhoods, we both had awful fathers, we were both denied what we always wanted. And getting to know her, I realized that she was just what I needed –the person that balanced me, making me doing crazy and mature, responsible things at the same time. She made me ignite and freeze and she made me smile and cry. I wanted to scream that I loved her, and I wanted to hide away with the thought in the same time.

And all of that, all those emotions, exploded when I decided to kiss her. Looking at her, beautiful and confused, not realizing how much I cared for her and what I did to get close to her in any possible way, I realized that just loving from the distance wasn't enough. But I didn't expect for her to push me away, because I was never, ever pushed away in my life. When I kissed someone, they kissed me back and stayed with me for a long time. Even Rose. But no – that brain of hers decided to shut down her emotions and she said _she didn't choose me_. And that hurt me. But I managed to get over it, over the sulking and pouting and being angry. I managed to be more mature and I won her over in the end. Why? Because I wasn't just the man she was in love with. I was her best friend, the person she trusted and loved.

I would've thought about Sydney for a lot more, if I hadn't been interrupted by fake coughing.

I turned around, expecting to see Sydney or Jill or even Rose, but no – the person in ront of me was a lot shorter and a lot more furious.

Zoe.

"What have you done with my sister?" she said, not able to contain her anger.

I raised an eyebrow. "What is wrong with Sydney?"

Zoe crossed her arms over her chest. Her chest were rising and falling fast. It obviously took her a lot of courage to stand this close to a vampire. I refrained myself from rolling my eyes. "She is sleeping in her room and won't wake up. Did you put something in her drink? Did you drug her?" Zoe was furious – it was evident, without even having to look at her aura. But I looked at it anyway, and I wasn't wrong – fear, concern and anger, but mostly just anger, flashed out of her.

And I definitely was wrong – she didn't look much like Sydney. She was like the other side of Sydney, the impulsive side nobody had ever seen. I saw the passionate, the loving, the fierce, the mature, the serious, the protective, the loyal, the vulnerable Sydney, but not instinctive, impulsive Sydney that acted first, then asked questions and turned her brain on.

Zoe was my chance to learn, if Sydney ever became like this.

I chuckled. "She is probably just tired." Seeing the skeptic look on her face, I added calmly, "No, Zoe, nobody put anything in Sydney's drink. I don't even think she had a drink. She was here a minute ago and said she was exhausted and that she was going to sleep a bit." I was an expert in lying now, that was for sure.

Zoe sighed. "I'm worried about her."

I leaned on the wall, trying to get closer to Zoe. Or to have a conversation with her at all. "Don't be. Everything will be okay. Why do you need her, anyway?"

Zoe's mask disappeared and her face showed various motions hiding beneath the anger – concern, fear, love, confusedness, determination, pain, guilt. What was wrong with this girl? Sage probably knew.

"Dad called again," she said in a low voice. Sydney claimed Zoe loved her father more than anything, but her tone suggested otherwise. "He was angry that we let the princess show up in that magazine. He was also angry that we still didn't pick his side officially. And he was angry that we didn't move the princess to a safe Alchemist location."

I shook my head. "Your father really asks much of you," I said carefully. But those weren't the words I wanted to use. The words I wanted to use weren't polite, at all.

Zoe nodded. "He does. But it toughens us. It surely did toughen Sydney." She spoke her next words full of awe. "I wish I could be like her. She's fighting on the good side. And she's so relaxed around all of you. You make me really nervous."

I just smiled. Zoe continued talking, reminding me of Jill a bit. "But she also fights against the right side," she said in an even voice. "She's stealing the Alchemists' records, while being an Alchemist herself. And she isn't supposed to work for you. I don't know why she does. What is her motivation, Lord Ivashkov? Do you know?" Her pleading eyes made me want to answer: _Of course I do. I'm the reason._ But I knew that if I said it, Zoe would go running to her dad and tell him everything. I had to be careful.

"She is brave, and honest," I said, careful not to make my proud tone obvious, "And she is fair. It doesn't matter – Moroi, dhampirs, the Alchemists, as long as the justice is the strongest one."

Zoe nodded. "I guess that makes sense. But still, she should've told me…"

I cut her off. "She is a very busy woman. Now let her rest and when she wakes up, you two can talk."

Zoe nodded again and then did something unexpected – she extended her arms toward me. "You aren't so bad, Lord Ivashkov," she said.

"Adrian," I automatically corrected.

"Not as I thought you'd be," Zoe continued. "That is surely why Sydney chose to work with you."

I took her hand and shook it. I noticed the disgust evident on her face for a moment, and then she put her mask on. "Well, I better get back upstairs now," she said, obviously just desperate to get away from me.

I nodded at her. "You're not too bad for an Alchemist too, Zoe. Maybe a little hilarious with your _Blade_ understandings of vampires, but you're okay."

She just smiled and left.

And now I was left with my thoughts – thinking about Sydney, her magic, the Alchemists, Re-education, the divorce, threatening of jilll, the Alchemists working with vampire hunters, Zoe, the bite, everything. Everything was a mess and I had no idea how to get us out of it.

I just hoped we'd be able to swim to the surface once again, some day.


	43. Chapter 9, part three: Confusion

**Author's note: **_Why are the last two chapters shorter? I lost the sense of length – I see how many words there are in the document (around 4k) and I forget that 1,5k is the author's note. I'm sorry about that, guys, and good morning! It's good to finally write fully awake._

_Now, who to mention? Everyone, of course! :D_

_**Pixie's**__, I'm not sure if I PM-ed you. It's not a problem, not being able to review! The important thing is that you're back. And yay, you loved it! :D Thank you so much, and I am sorry again for writing shorter. Hope the wait wasn't too long! :)_

_**Alicella Ivashkov**__, I am so glad you loved my interpretation of Adrian! I mean, he is tough on the outside, but I can't have him think like a tough person. He is sensitive and essentially broken, but he is also wonderful and strong. That's how I see him. Yes, Zoe is suspicious! Drama ahead :D Thank you so much! :)_

_**ranDomXx**__, I am sorry again for the shorter chapter. Oh God, don't touch Eddie. I think we're all secretly in love with him too. I mean, we have our Adrian, the perfect guy that makes al girls swoon, but Eddie is the old-fashioned gentleman who puts everyone in front of himself! And he'll endure anything and everything, if it means having his love safe. That is just awwwwwwwwwwwww. Don't be sorry – I am sure we're all frustrated! Why did she write it at all? Why break all our hearts? :( Thank you so much! :)_

_**sheerio4ever**__, the new fangirl! 10 reviews. Ten. That is, like, awesome. And I'm sorry for PM-ing you 20 times. I totally overdid it :D hope you don't mind! And I'm glad yu loved the development of the story! Thank you again, for everything! :)_

_**siraljenny**__, is that a new name I see on my reviews page? WELCOME, NEW REVIEWER! I love you already :D thank you for letting me know that you love the story, hope the wait wasn't too long! :)_

_**Totalbooknerd13**__, awesome and fangirling about Adrian, like always! I mean, Richelle never actually said when Adrian realized he totally fell for Sydney, but I think it was at the end of Bloodlines. I remember how I was, 'Kiss! Kiss! Come on!' and then the moment ended. And I squealed when it actually happened in TGL! :D Thank you for everything :)_

_**SoZina**__, thank you for reviewing again. Zoe is warming up (especially for Neil – you all thought I forgot about him, didn't you? ;D)And thank you for comparing me with Richelle. It means so much. And thank you again. I'm putting a request for all Adrianish guys (if there are any), call us! And the rest of the world, please read these books and see how a real man is supposed to act! But ah. Boys don't read. :( Thank you for everything! :D_

_**HopperIvashkinator**__ will review later and make me laugh, __**TheHappyLol **__too, __**Sam1405**__ is still on a vacation, the same for __**damonforever86**__. And I'm so excited to hear opinions of these girls! And oh, __**MilankaLovesMetal**__, the crazy girl is also busy! I didn't forget you guys, don't worry. :)_

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead, who is torturing us! Don't kill Adrian, Richelle. Or Eddie. Don't make Adrian go crazy. Or become a Strigoi. Or anything. I don't want to deal with dead people in Silver Shadows. Mason's death made me cry for hours. :(_

* * *

I wasn't left alone with my thoughts for a long time – the next person to "visit" me was Christian. And he was angry.

"What the hell was all of that?" he asked, anger evident on his pale face. Why was I the person everyone was angry at?

"Could you be more specific?" I asked, rising my eyebrow. Pyro and I were madly in love with our sarcastic selves, but we both had different ways of showing that.

"That thing with the Alchemist girl!" Christian said. _What, he eavesdropped on Zoe and me? Why would he do that?_ Those were my immediate thoughts. "First you say that you're madly in love with each other and then she goes around calling us 'vampires' and stuff." Christian continued.

I had to laugh. His imitation of Sydney's voice was awful. And thankfully, he wasn't talking about Zoe. "You're crazy," I said through a laugh.

"I'm crazy?" Christian said, his voice rising. "This house is full of crazy people! There's that Clarence guy from the 18th century, the Russian and his entourage of guardians, Rose going around and shouting at people randomly, Lissa and Jill awkwardly shaking hands and calling each other sisters, that other Alchemist girl shivering when he sees one of us, Eddie the paranoid guardian, you and your totally mad girlfriend! And you call me crazy?"

My stomach already hurt from all the laughing. Pyro was hilarious, with his flushed face and gesticulation and crazy blue eyes. He was totally confused. "And the Neil, creepy guy, I forgot," he said in a more even tone, obviously getting embarrassed, seeing me laugh in his face and all.

"Okay, Pyro," I said when I finally stopped laughing, "Come here."

Christian raised an eyebrow, but came closer to me. "You're not going to hug me or something, right?" he asked uncertainly.

I shook my head, grinning. So he was charmed by my devastatingly handsome features too? That was a good thing to know. "The walls have ears," I said quietly and realization hit Christian's face. He immediately nodded and came to a stop beside me, pretending to look through the window.

"That was all an act," I whispered, knowing the Moroi could hear me. Thankfully, Zoe or Neil or those crazy guardians wouldn't be able to. "Sydney is my girlfriend for a while now and that other Alchemist girl is Zoe, her sister."

"Oh," Christian quickly said and nodded for me to continue. I always knew he was a bright guy.

"So when you met her in the hallway, Zoe was behind you and she had to act like she hated you," I continued. "If she hadn't done that, Zoe would've reported her to the Alchemists and they would've taken her to a brain-washing facility to punish her."

"What?" Christian said loudly and I had to shush him. Then he repeated in a whisper, "What? But why would they do that? I knew they felt uneasy around us and that we disgusted them, but _brain-washing_? They are totally crazy!"

I nodded. "Well, good morning! We aren't hiding because we get turned on by it or something. We're doing it for our safety."

Christian started gesticulating with his hands again. He started tapping on the window. "Okay. What you're saying is that you must hide in kitchens and stuff to be able to be together because her _sister_ would tell the Alchemists she doesn't hate vampires and spray us with holy water and then they'd torture her?" Seeing me nod, he raised an eyebrow. "Those guys are seriously messed up. And that Zoe girl too. I mean, she'd report on her sister? What kind of a person would do that?"

I shrugged. "Sydney is supposed to be like that too." I turned towards Christian and whispered even quieter, "They put compulsion in their tattoos. Aside from not letting them talk about us, those tattoos make them loyal to the Alchemists. Sydney broke her tattoo."

Christian's eyebrows shot up. "Holy shit," he said incredulously, "that's serious."

"You tell me," I said with a grin.

"So what is the plan?" Christian asked. My face was blank. The plan? My personal plan was to grab Sydney, take her to Canada and marry her. Yeah, that'd be good. "You weren't planning to hide like this forever, right?" he asked, uncertainty flashing in his eyes.

I sighed. Telling my plan to him wouldn't work. We had to do something practically impossible to be able to be together. "Sydney wants to uncover the Alchemists. This is serious. They are trying to kill Jill and initiate a Moroi civil war, and Sydney is trying to prevent it. Actually, not just prevent it – she wants to destroy the whole organization that is built on lies, torture and compulsion." I said it with great fierceness, hoping it could convince me. We could do it – Sydney and I could do anything together.

"But that's practically impossible!" Christian said, astonished. "You understand that you'll probably just end up caught?"

I sighed again. "What choice do I have, Christian?" He flinched at my use of his name. Why? Did I call everyone by nicknames? Okay, Eddie was Castile, Jill was Jailbait, Rose was 'little dhampir', Sydney was Sage, Christian was Pyro, Dimitri was Dracula…

I shook my head, trying to get a grip on my thoughts. Spirit wasn't going to torture and confuse me. Not today. Christian started talking, unaware of my thoughts. "Are you sure it's worth it, Adrian?"

I turned my head to look towards him. I was becoming angry. "What are you implying? That I should end things with her and hurt us both? And leave her to deal with the Alchemists on her own?"

Christian sighed. "I just don't want you to get hurt. Don't get so angry, Adrian."

I wasn't whispering anymore. "And I can't understand why everyone think they're qualified to tell me what to do!"

Christian looked astonished. "That's not what I meant…"

I put my palm in front of me, cutting him off. "I love her, Christian. More than I ever, ever loved anyone in my whole life. And you know what is the best thing? She is the first person that ever managed to love me back. She's doing all of this for me. risking her life – her mind, her reputation – her everything, because of me. I am abandoned by my own society, while she accepts me! So yes, risking everything is worth it! Because I'd do anything for her."

I was breathing hard after saying all of this, and Christian was looking shocked. His eyes were wide, his mouth half-open, and he was as still as a statue.

"I'd really love to meet her finally," said a voice behind both of us, before anyone got the chance to say anything.

I turned around and there she was – the girl I was in love with for a long time. She wasn't any less beautiful than the last time I saw her, but compared to Sydney she was nothing. My heart didn't even skip a beat.

I smirked. "I am sorry to inform you, Rose, but I don't think she'd like to meet my possessive ex."

Rose came closer, crossing her arms on her chest. "That's not fair. Christian obviously knows who she is. And you're obviously totally in love with her. What if she just wants your money? Or your royalty status?"

Christian unfreezed. "You definitely can't meet her," he said carefully. "If you two met, you'd jump her. And I'm not sure if she'd be able to defend herself."

I laughed. "Oh, Christian, you have no idea. She'd be able to defend herself." I was thinking about Sydney's fireballs, but Christian's skeptic look proved that he was thinking about martial arts. "I'm not so sure," he muttered.

Meanwhile, Rose was looking like a pack of dynamite ready to blow. "That is not fair, guys!" She quickly turned around to look at me. "I'll make you a deal – I won't try to kill her when I see her. Just tell me who she is."

I shook my head, suppressing a laugh. "You'd be too jealous. She's way too pretty."

Christian and I shared a knowing look, while Rose looked at herself. "I don't think any Moroi can compare with me," she said, assured.

"Who said anything about her being a Moroi?" Christian said and immediately put his hand on his mouth. I shut my eyes tightly. She was going to put two and two together any second now, and then we'd all be dead.

"What?" Rose asked in a low voice. "But…"

I could easily imagine wheels turning in her head. Names flashing, all girls from Palm Springs mission. Zoe. Angeline. Maybe even Dorothy. And Sydney.

But thankfully, Rose wasn't that smart. "Angeline?" she said in a high-pitched voice and a stone fell from my chest. Phew. She didn't get it.

But now I had to say I was in love with Angeline? No, thank you. I shook my head. "You don't know her," I said too quickly.

"But she's the only dhampir in Palm Springs! Don't you dare lie to me, Adrian Ivashkov!" I wasn't even afraid of the way she said my name, like a mother that caught her child breaking a valuable china vase. I wasn't even afraid of the look on her face, the look that seemed to say _I'm preparing myself to kill you._

I gulped. "She's from LA."

I didn't believe that I'd convince her with such an obvious eyes, but she just said, "Oh. That makes sense."

I looked at Christian and he shrugged.

"So she's prettier than me?" Rose asked, her face sad. Sad? I quickly looked at her aura. It had flashes of jealousy, but mostly uncertainty in it. Oh, so Rose now thought she wasn't the prettiest woman in the universe.

And she was right to think so. While her beauty screamed _dangerous_, Sydney's beauty was kind of like Lissa's – it offered safety, tenderness, gentleness. "Yeah," Christian and I said in the same time and I couldn't suppress myself from laughing.

"You are so not fair!" Rose said, groaning. "I want to meet her!"

I laughed harder. "Oh, no, you don't. I don't want to have to heal you both."

Rose just rolled her eyes and said, "I'm going to find Dimitri and make him assure me I'm the prettiest woman in the universe. He's probably going to ask me to marry him again." She turned around to face us, already by the door, "And you know what? I might say _Yes_, just to annoy you."

With that and a dangerous grin she stormed off, leaving Christian and me with our palms on our foreheads. "Girls," I said with a sigh.

"Dhampirs," Christian added.

"So okay," Christian started after a second of silence, "You're going until the end? No matter what happens?"

I nodded. "Of course. Would you leave Lissa just because someone threatened to kill her?"

He turned to face the window again, while I started to feel tired and threw myself on the sofa. "I wouldn't," he said with a serious note in his voice. "I'd just try harder to protect her."

"Exactly," I said, glad that Pyro understood me. he was annoying, but we had a line of understanding between ourselves – we both loved forbidden women, we were both despised by our societies, we were both dependent on blood and we were both ridiculously sexy. Okay, in a manly way.

What interrupted the pleasant silence in the room and the moment of peace wasn't Rose. It wasn't Zoe, or Dimitri, or Jill, or Lissa, or the guardians, or anyone who we would've expected.

It was the most beautiful voice in the universe. "Can I talk to you for a second?" I heard her say.

I turned towards the entry and there she was, making my heart beat faster. My brain was screaming that Christian was here, but I couldn't help but grin and flash her a passionate look.

Sydney chose to ignore it. She looked at me with a very serious look. "Alone?"

I shook my head. "Christian is up to date with everything. And I don't think he has anywhere else to go," I said and turned towards Christian, who was suddenly watching the wall with great interest, "Right?"

Christian nodded. "I'd like to talk to Sydney here too."

Sydney rolled her eyes and sat on the couch. Then she sighed. "Adrian, I just had a talk with Zoe. Dad called."

I nodded. "She told me." Seeing her confused look, I quickly added, "We had a two-minute-conversation. She was worried we drugged you and came to ask me. Guess she trusts me more than Rose or Dimitri."

"Of course," Sydney said seriously. "We are supposed to be disgusted by dhampirs the most – they're the reminder of humans and vampires mixing, after all."

Christian gasped. "But that is ridiculous! And may I point that you two are just that – a vampire and a human mixing?"

Sydney rolled her eyes again. "You don't say," she simply said. She was a little pale, but she obviously recovered from the bite. I was glad that I didn't hurt her, after all.

"Okay, back to the conversation," I said. "Zoe told me that Jared was angry about you not witnessing at court for the divorce yet, about you not deciding on a location yet and about exposing Jill in that magazine." A memory of Jill flashed in my mind – the night when she served as a model to that designer, Lia or Mia. The night when Sydney and I had a major fight – that we never even finished – and the night when we both almost died.

Sydney just nodded. "I think it's all just an act and that he just wants to make us think he is the good guy." After a moment of thinking, she added, "I bet he's the one who planned everything. Jill's murder, blaming Warriors for it, initiating the civil war…"

"You have a wonderful father," Christian commented, sitting next to Sydney.

"Don't we all," I said, looking at him, remembering my own despicable father and Christian's Strigoi-wannabe. Abe was a fantastic choice, compared to our fathers.

"Now we must plan how to prevent that," I said, looking at Sydney. She nodded again, ignoring the concerned look I shot her. What was wrong with her? Was she angry at me or something? One look at her aura and I saw uncertainty, concern, passion, a little bit of fear and a large bit of determination. No anger. That had to be a good thing.

"I suggest we just continue in Palm Springs," Sydney began. "The school begins tomorrow and Zoe would be suspicious if I decided to stay in a house full of vampires." Seeing the look on my face, she quickly added, "I know it's not perfectly safe, Adrian, but what choice do we have? We can't just tell a location to the Alchemists and fall right into their hands. And we can't run away, since they'd find us anyway. We shouldn't expose our knowledge – let them think we're naïve. Let them think we think they're our allies. Trey is our insider for the vampire hunters, and Zoe and I can serve as Alcheist insiders. Marcus can help me find their plans and we'll just act like Palm Springs is the safest for all of us –which, in fact it is."

"The Court…" Christian started, but Sydney cut him off.

"No. Jill already got herself killed there. And that's exactly what they expect from us – it'd be the best place to murder her and start a civil war. No. I can guard her here and even if it takes throwing fireballs at people, I'll do it."

The room came to a full stop. Sydney was biting her lower lip, realizing what she just said and Christian was looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"Throwing fireballs?" he repeated.

"It was just a term," Sydney said quickly. I waged whether to tell Christian about Sydney's magic or not. He was a fire user himself – he'd probably be able to help her, unlike me with my spiritual magic that didn't have any physical manifestations.

"Sydney, perhaps he could help…" I started and Sydney's eyes were alarmed. "He won't say to anyone," I said gently.

"But Adrian, nobody except Jill and you knows…" she started, desperation evident in her voice, but Christian cut her off.

"Perhaps I can help? With what? Throwing fireballs?" he asked, obviously sarcastic, but it was the right thing to say.

Sydney swallowed. I put my hand on my forehead. I was so tired – this day had no end.

"Wait a second," Christian said, turning towards Sydney. "You can't throw fireballs at people, right?"

"She can," I said quickly. Sydney just sighed. I knew it was hard for her and I couldn't refrain myself for leaning and brushing my fingers on her tattooed cheek. It calmed her, and it made me smile.

"You're both crazy," Christian said and leaned back on the couch. "Humans don't yield magic."

Sydney put her arm up as if she was holding something. This was going to be awesome, I knew. And Christian was going to love her after that display.

While Christian raised an eyebrow skeptically and crossed his arms over his chest, Sydney closed her eyes and concentrated. I've seen her do that before, but it didn't fail to surprise me every single time – she was a badass human with magical abilities.

After a second, a blue fireball suddenly materialized in her palm. It earned a surprised sound from Christian and a smirk from me.

She explained to me once how the weakest fireballs were yellow, the normal ones red and the strongest ones blue. I never saw a blue fireball in her hand. That was a good thing – it meant her powers were growing.

Christian slowly put his arm closer to Sydney's arm. He touched the fireball and then he started pulling it towards himself. Sydney let him take it from her and play with it. "Cool," he said, like a child seeing a toy.

Sydney gently said, "It exhausts me to hold it for a longer period. They're meant to be thrown." She closed her eyes and the fireball disappeared from Christian's hands.

"That was awesome," he said with a grin. "What else can you do?"

"Oh, the usual," I said casually. "Turning people into cats, flying on a broom, walking on water, stuff like that."

Christian turned towards Sydney. "You can walk on water?"

Sydney smiled, but rolled her eyes. "He's just kidding. I can throw shards, ignite people, move things with my mind, make shields, but it all exhausts me. the stronger the spell, the more energy it takes."

Christian leaned back again. "So you're telling me you're a witch."

Sydney and I both nodded.

Christian was silent and serious for another moment, and he got me worried. I thought he was going to freak out or something. But then he just grinned, saying, "Awesome! How does it work? Can every human become a witch? What else can you do with fire?"

Sydney laughed and I just shook my head. The usual Pyro, too curious and prying. "Well, you vampires use magic as if it's the most natural thing in the world, but it doesn't work that way from me. I need charms, incantations, things to connect me with the outer world and I pull the magic out of it, not from myself. That's why it's harder."

"And why you don't pass out after throwing 20 fireballs, while Sydney does," I added.

"The answer to your other question," Sydney continued, "is no. Not every human has the ability to pull the magic and the energy from the outer world –only a handful of us can, actually. And I can do a lot of things with fire," she said with a charming grin.

Christian smiled back. "This is so cool. When Lissa finds out, she is so going to…"

I cut him off. "No, she's not, since you're not going to tell her."

Christian's smile disappeared. "Why not?"

"Because," Sydney said, "nobody knows about it."

"Why not?" Christian repeated, annoyed.

Sydney was obviously exasperated. "Isn't it obvious? If the Alchemists found out, I'd be dead. And if the Moroi found out, I'd be a lab rat! And I don't want to become either."

"You think that Lissa would make you a lab rat?" Christian asked with disgust in his voice. "She'd never do anything to you against your will. Your ability to yield magic is awesome, but I don't think she'd even try to experiment on you."

Sydney chuckled. I've never seen Sydney chuckle before. And the amount of bitterness in her voice was frightening. "Oh, she'd experiment on me. But the magic would be just the starting point."

Oh no. She was heading that way. "Don't tell him," I immediately interfered. "He won't understand."

Sydney just shook her head, determination evident in her eyes. I didn't fail to notice how much she changed since I met her – her hair was longer, her tattoo already less golden, her eyes more determined, and her body less skeleton-like. I liked the new, independent Sydney. I just hated the person who introduced her to real independence – Marcus Finch. And I didn't forget how that rat was following us.

"It's my blood that matters," Sydney said. "It's repulsive to Strigoi and ex-Strigoi; everyone except…" She swallowed and closed her eyes.

Oh, so that was what was bothering her. That's why she was suddenly cold and distant and why she was ignoring me.

"Me," I said in a low voice. Christian immediately straightened.

"You couldn't have…" he tried and stopped himself when he saw the looks on our faces – Sydney's closed eyes, her face turned towards the wall and myself, shrugging and looking at Sydney intently.

"Okay. I'm officially confused," Christian said and leaned back.

I couldn't care less about his opinion in that moment. The only person I cared about was Sydney.

"Why does it bother you so much?" I asked her, ignoring Christian, who was shaking his head.

Sydney didn't say anything. Or react in any way. It was as if I hadn't spoken.

I decided it was enough. "Okay. If you so desperately want this…" I said, trying to calm myself down, but I was already up, turning her head towards me.

"Open your eyes," I commanded. When she didn't comply, I said it with more strength. "Open your eyes, Sydney."

I think it's 'Sydney' that did it. Her beautiful golden eyes opened, and as I feared, they were shining with tears.

"Now tell me what's wrong," I said as I sat down on the floor in front of her, suppressing the urge to pull her down with me.

Sydney shook her head. I knew she'd start crying if she started talking, so I tried to guess. "It's because I bit you," I stated.

She nodded anyway. "It's because Rose was there," I tried and got a half-nod.

"It's because she thinks less of you," I said. Sydney looked at me, puzzled, and just shook her head.

"It's because you didn't want it," I said and got an immediate head-shaking and biting of her lower lip. So I was getting closer.

Logically, I tried the opposite. "It's because you wanted it," I asked. I got a nod and her eyes closed again.

"Oh, Sydney," I heard myself say. "It's okay. It's okay."

I said it gently and pulled myself up, hugging her. She didn't say or do anything. She was just sitting like a statue.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Christian said, annoyed. I forgot he was there at all.

"The big deal, jerk," I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "is that Sydney is an Alchemist. And all Alchemists are afraid of what she's dealing with now."

I thought I said enough, but Christian's face was blank. "Being bitten and addicted to it?"

"Wait a second," Christian said immediately, "you did it more than once?"

"Well, yeah," I said, feeling uncomfortable.

Christian laughed. "I can't believe this. I am starting to love your girlfriend more by the minute."

Sydney finally stopped acting like a statue. She laughed. "Thanks, Christian," she said in a muffled voice, since she was still in my embrace. "I don't fully hate you either."

I pulled away and Sydney smiled at me, trying to regain her composure. But I wasn't done, not yet. I took her hands in mine and looked at her intently. "Sage," I started in a shaky voice, "I won't do that to you ever again. Not even if you beg me to. Not even if my own life depends on it. Not even if I risk being murdered by Rose for it. I won't. And if anyone else ever tries, I'll kill him. Okay?"

Sydney's hands gripped mine tightly. She was looking at me with those golden eyes, all puffy and vulnerable and I suddenly wanted to kiss her. To touch her. To do anything that qualified as making out.

"I think the conversation including Christian is over," Sydney said, all emotion gone from her voice.

"Yeah, I think so too," I said absently. I was too distracted by the thought of kissing her for the thousandth time today. Guess today was my lucky day.

"Okay, I'll go, you don't have to throw me out," Christian said, annoyed.

And the next thing I know, Sydney and I are on the floor, telling each other how badly we're in love in complete silence.


	44. Chapter 9, part four: Fights

**Author's note: **_The good news is that I'm going to write the first one-shot today. The bad news is that I might not be able to make a new story on my mobile phone. More good news? 3 more reviews and we'll have our 400__th__ reviewer, who'll get a one-shot! I'm so excited to see who it is. :)_

_My phone's connection went crazy again and I somehow managed to enter the reviews page (phew) and answer them. I'll try to PM you all, but I'm not sure if I'll succeed._

_Anyway, here are my fellow friends and reviewers:_

_**Bukwurm13**__: I laughed so much while writing that sentence. I tried to change it, but I didn't manage and then simply decided to leave it, hoping you'd all laugh too :D As for SS (that's how I'm going to refer to Silver Shadows from now on), I understand but it'll hurt. I don't want to lose Adrian in any way, but… sigh. Whatever Richelle does, I know I'll read it. And oh, the one-shot request is so cool! I'll make sure to write it. You deserved it, after all :) Thank you so much for your reviews, for everything!_

_**Alicella Ivashkov**__: Yeah! And Christian is going to get more awesome right in this chapter! Glad I made you start loving him. Thanks for the review! :)_

_**TheHappyLol**__: Yay, you loved it! No problem for missing a review :P And don't worry, your review made me start making Christian and Sydney closer. Love ya, and thank you! :)_

_**Sheerio4ever**__: That was certainly a long review! You love the nicknames and that's a relief for me. you love Christian and Sydney's relationship, so that's another relief. And that question about blood will be answered soon :D Jeddie coming soon! Yay, you'll be able to update! So in all of this, the review made me really happy and thank you for that. Glad you're up to date now :D_

_**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Oh, don't worry, Hopper will be back. As soon as school starts (and it is in this chapter), we'll have crazy scenes with him :D I start jumping up and down when I see new reviews! Thank you so much, I don't even have words anymore. I'm just so glad you love it._

_**ranDomXx**__: LOVED THE REVIEW! :D Thank you so much._

_**Kajjjan**__: Wow, that is a wonderful compliment! Comparing me to Richelle! I am honored :) Thank you so much._

_**Lilietje99**__: Oh, 2 reviews! :D I don't hate Max Irons. It's just two things that I don't like about him – the first is that he's not my Adrian, and the second is that he acted in The Host. And I loved that book, read it so many times. And then the movie was so awful that I started hating the book. That's why I don't have any love for him, but if I watched him in some other movie I bet I'd change my opinion. Oh God, I'm like Jill? I'm not sure if I should laugh or squeal from joy :D I really do try to make you all equal to me and to make you understand that I'm just a normal girl sitting and writing. I'm not different, or better, or anything. I just have a very, very big imagination. And ah, Zoe is a mystery to me too. I just can't get all her emotions and beliefs right so it ends up like this. Mason, oh Mason. I didn't cry when he died, strictly believing that he'd somehow rise again or something. And then, at the end of the 3__rd__ book, when Rose said, "Goodbye, Mason," the tears just started falling. Hmm. Why do I call Christian Pyro? Because I'm madly in love with him and Adrian and Dimitri! And this story ended up like a huge making-up session. Whenever Sydney and Adrian spend more than 5 seconds together, they immediately end up on the floor. You're going to be away until September 1__st__? :( I'll try and fail not to be sad. But okay, I hope you get your rest and when you come back you'll have tons of new chapters to read! I'll miss you and talking to you. Thank you, thank you for everything! _

_**KyKat**__: Don't be afraid of that. There's a tweet from somewhere in the middle of the book, saying how Zoe is adjusting. I wanted to get Zoe all Jared-like, but after I read that I got another idea of why Sydney would be sent to Re-education. Thank you for reviewing and supporting me!_

_**MilankaLovesMetal**__: The crazy girl is back! Seeing your name immediately makes me smile :D Oh God, I want an Eddie and a Trey and an Adrian. Yeah, we don't want much :D I suppose "bloody" is a compliment in this case? :D Why did Christian catch up slowly? Because this was something he wasn't expecting. But then again, does Adrian ever do something that isn't unexpected? I'm glad the hardest exams are over, and hope you'll be able to rest a bit! Thank you for calling me awesome and epic. Blushing. Love ya! :)_

_**Sam1405**__: Sam, I just want to hug you now. 8 reviews up until now! And there are 9 more chapters for you! You didn't have to review every single chapter. I must ask a general question – are we all in love with Christian? Because I think we are, everyone tend to write "I LOVE YOU, CHRISTIAN" in their reviews! :D Take your time for the PM. And the story. And everything. The important thing is that you're back! And I'm so happy, since you're with this story since it began! Of course I added you to my A/N. I think I did it a lot of times. How can I forget your crazy, persistent support? And I am glad you liked the coven. I was a bit afraid of that. Haha, I laughed so hard at your caps lock "What do you mean I have to wait for Adrian to bite Sydney," oh God you'll be so shocked. Ah, I didn't write the back-to-school-transition yet, but it's happening in this chapter. Hopefully, it isn't too bad. My best friend is in love with that duster. I think that when she marries, she'll ask for her husband to wear it :D Glad you loved c29 so much! C30 review is so funny that I'm crying from all the laughing. You are totally crazy and I love you! Don't be hard on yourself, everyone hated Rose in those chapters. She's a bit… tamer now. And is it a bit crazy that c33 is the most intense one? I am so glad you loved that too. I can sleep peacefully now. And awwwwwwh. The last review! Thank you so much, Sam. You just made my noon (may I call it that, since it's 12 AM) wonderful!_

_**Katrick**__: I am laughing so hard. I'm waiting for the 400__th__ reviewer and suddenly there are 6 your reviews. I think you won by a long shot, writing those reviews at the right time! :D So yes, you won a one-shot! And what to say to the reviews? Just that I love them? :D And yay! You liked the second bite! The bites (aka the steamy scenes) always leave me worried. Thank you so much!_

_The song "Warning Sign" from Coldplay is playing on my laptop now, and I'm probably going to play it a million times more and cry a bit, so if this chapter is sad, depressing or just simply crazy, blame it on the song. Yeah, we all lost someone without having a chance to say goodbye._

_And please, don't be mad. I had to give Neil the "James Blunt" nickname. I love James Blunt and since he is from the UK, I thought Adrian would have a right to associate the two :D And Neil obviously needs a nickname, right?_

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead. I'm not Richelle Mead._

The next few days were a bit crazy. The whole gang – Sydney, Zoe, Jill, Eddie, Angeline and Neil had to go back to Amberwood. Driving them and their things (I have to add that, out of 14 suitcases, 5 were Jill's and 3 were Zoe's, and poor Eddie had to carry them all) wasn't making me comfortable, since I had to pretend Sydney and I were 'just associated by business'. That led to both of us beign a bit cold to each other and we had a major fight. Now, how did that happen?

Sydney was worried. And I was in panic. Now, that the school had started and we all had to be so much more careful with Jill, Zoe tended to follow Sydney around everywhere. And by 'everywhere' I mean following her to the bathroom and waiting in front of it. So yeah, we had no time to make out in the kitchen, in my car, in the street, anywhere.

My solution for that were spirit dreams. Having her at nighttime was enough for me, and it gave us enough time to talk about her father, her sister, my art classes, the situation at Clarence's, everything. And that's why we first started fighting and arguing.

"I don't want you to use more spirit than necessary," she kept saying.

"I'm fine," I repeated over and over. But she just shook her head and forbid pulling her into spirit dreams.

So I snapped and asked her why she was acting like that. That led to her snapping too and telling me she cared for me and she worried I was becoming increasingly insane. That I kept being unfocused, that I couldn't hear when she talked to me, that it was hard to snap me out of it.

I didn't remember those situations, but I tried not to keep myself worried.

"I'm going to talk to Lissa and she'll help me in beating the darkness," I promised.

That apparently wasn't enough for Sydney. She told me that she'd rather see me twice a week at Clarence's and have me sane, than see me every night and have me taken into a mental hospital.

So I got mad and we didn't talk for a few days.

I was already burning with desire to just see her. Sydney was with Jill all the time and Jill assured me she was fine, though she looked as if she didn't sleep enough and that she didn't care as much about her appearance.

Zoe was starting to get on my nerves. Why was she following Sydney around like a lost puppy? And why didn't Sydney agree to take separate rooms? Surely I could sneak out into her room once in a while.

We had our 'love phones', so it wasn't impossible for me to contact her, but my pride was preventing me from doing anything. I was the man, and I was supposed to act like a man, not caring and everything. Every day I kept writing and erasing unsent messages, I kept typing her number and shutting the phone off before I had a chance to call her. I kept painting images that resembled my fierce warrior girl and I kept throwing them in trash, unfinished. Lily and Hopper kept getting on my nerves, trying to make me happy for a minute. I kept seeing shadows, knowing it wouldn't be better until one of us decided to cut this behavior off. I couldn't sleep, but I didn't turn to alcohol – I drank a glass daily, not more. The easiest way was to indulge myself in vices, but it was not the best way. Dropping into bed unconscious, free from spirit and my dark thoughts wasn't going to help anything. It'd only get worse in the morning.

So I just sighed, closed my eyes and thought about her. I kept thinking about alternate endings, about impossible solutions, about so many things that could happen or not happen and I'd open my eyes and see that it was 5 AM. I'd get up and go to my art classes, without inspiration or any motivation. The only reason I still attended those classes was not to disappoint Sydney. Rowena immediately picked up that something was wrong, but seeing that I wouldn't open myself up, she just left me alone.

And I kept waiting for that phone call. For that one single phone call that'd say it was over. That'd finally crush me and I'd be allowed to drink again. This was worse, not knowing on what she'd decide.

At least I felt better, knowing it wasn't easy for her either. Did she stay up late, lying on her back, looking at the ceiling and thinking about me? Or was I just too pathetic?

It all changed when I came to feed. I had to pick them all up, since Sydney's car was dead and the Alchemists, angry for us not evacuating Jill, but unable to do anything against Lissa's decision, didn't let Sydney buy a new car yet, obviously thinking Jill would be easier to kill if she didn't have a way of transport.

So now I was leaning against the hood of my beautiful car, The Ivashkinator, thinking how everything in my life led to Sydney. I didn't even care about heated arguments the guardians had every morning, or how when Christian asked me what was wrong I just spilled it all up, saying how frustrated I was. I didn't care that today was the moody day, with shadows and unfocused gazes and everything. I just cared for that golden person I'd see in a few moments. I just cared for the look she'd give me, and I hoped it wouldn't be the cold, bitter look Zoe always gave me. I hoped I'd see her love in her eyes. I knew that if I did, I'd call her tonight and say that I was sorry. And it'd all be fine – I wouldn't lose her. But if her eyes were dark, I'd know it was over. I'd know I had already lost her, and that I couldn't possibly make it right.

I gasped when I saw her. She was wearing a beige blouse, perfectly in synchronization with her skin tone, and her black, Alchemist trousers. I didn't gasp because of her clothes. It was because of the wooden cross I gave her a lifetime ago.

She was more pale than usual and she didn't put any makeup on. Her hair was tamed and there were shadows under her eyes, but with that cross, walking at the front of the group and slicing through every single defense I put up in these last few days , she immediately lightened my whole world.

With blazing, passionate eyes and wild aura, she just hurried past me and sat at the back. I noticed that Zoe and Neil were missing from the group, but I didn't say anything. I just raised my eyebrows.

Unlike Sydney, Jill, Eddie and Angeline acknowledged my existence and said 'Hi.' Jill even hugged me.

We all got in the car and Jill made a problem of Sydney sitting in the back.

"I need my guardians to be with me," Jill said. "If I'm sitting shotgun, they won't be able to protect me."

"Nobody will attack you while we're in a car," Sydney said exasperated. "Besides, you can sit in the back with me and Angeline, and Eddie can sit shotgun."

Jill shook her head. I didn't understand where she was going with this. Did she just want to annoy Sydney and make her stay at Amberwood? Because that wouldn't accomplish anything.

Jill obviously heard my thoughts, since she started to say something and then stopped herself. She took a deep breath and looked at Sydney with her pleading eyes. "Do it for me, Sydney? Please?" she asked in a gentle voice. "I don't feel safe without Eddie."

Sydney froze and then shut her eyes tightly, sighing. Maybe Jill shouldn't have done that, if it'd mean hurting her. And Sydney was right – I'd rather have her far from me, but safe and sound, than having her with me, but hurt and not content. But I already did that once and it led to her falling in love with me.

A few moments later, I drove off, feeling extremely nervous. How did my hair look? Could she see that I was sweating? Could she hear my frantic heartbeat? Or my hands gripping the wheel tightly?

"Your hair looks wonderful today, Adrian," Jill said and I couldn't help but look at her in the rearview mirror and smile.

Jill started a conversation about The Keepers and their tradition, which I found very odd. Since when was Jill interested in their tradition? And then it clicked and I realized she was trying to keep Angeline and Eddie distracted while I tried to talk with Sydney.

Yeah. _Tried_ is the best word.

"So, how are you?" I asked, dumbfound. Was there anything worse I could have said? I quickly added, "I see the Alchemists' fashion magazine advised you to wear a lot of colors today."

Sydney said nothing. She was looking out of the window and I swallowed, hoping she wouldn't be that cold forever. I couldn't risk looking at her aura, since today was the moody day and I was driving.

I didn't fail to notice how she glanced at me every once in a while, though. Or how she watched me change shifts. That had to mean something, right?

Jill gave up on striking the conversation after a while (and by 'a while', I mean a minute) and she just sat back in her seat.

"Where are James Blunt and Zoe?" I never gave Zoe any nicknames except for "mini-Sage," but I knew it'd make Sydney angry today. And I didn't call her Sage in a while, so she might even get jealous, knowing her.

Eddie was the one to answer. He was getting used to the nickname I gave to Neil, so he didn't comment on it this time. "Zoe had to write a long report for the Alchemists, something about her being a junior, and Neil agreed to stay instead of Angeline, because she protested too much. There's too many of us for one car, you have to admit that."

"I had to get out of there," Angeline said, throwing her arms up in defense.

Jill ignored her. "You remember how in the beginning, there were only Adrian, Sydney, you and me?" she said with a sigh. "I miss those days."

_I couldn't agree more with you, Jailbait,_ I said through the bond, while out loud I said nothing. This day was going to be a whirlwind. And with Zoe absent, I decided to confront Sydney.

The drive was over too soon and Jill rushed in the kitchen, searching for Dorothy, with Eddie. He never left her side, except at night, but that was only because he was forbidden entering girl's dorm.

That left an unwilling me, a silent Sydney and a bored Angeline in the car. Sydney was the first one to leave the car. She just opened the door and left, without saying anything or even looking at me.

Man, that was cold. I put my forehead on the steering wheel and sighed. Why was she so hard?

Angeline's voice startled me. "You seriously messed up," she said in an easy tone. "She's not eating, or talking, or anything. Just keeping her grades and talking on her phone."

I turned around. "What? But with who?"

Angeline shrugged. "Do I look like a tracking company to you? How should I know? Probably some friend."

I swallowed. God, please don't let what I think be true. And I thought about Marcus.

"You better go and ask her," she said and exited the car. I was left in it alone, too astonished to say anything except shake my head and get out.

In the house I saw Rose, saying something about Sydney being too upset to talk about the newest phone call from the Alchemists, and Dimitri talking with Lissa about the hereditary laws. Around them were, of course, the guardians that were talking in muffled tones, but I heard things like "pointless" and "boring".

Eddie was in front of the kitchen, saying that Clarence's was upstairs, taking a nap and that I shouldn't go up there, but I couldn't care less. Yeah, if Clarence woke up it'd be the end of the world.

I was right to go upstairs, and I was shocked when I heard muffled voices from one of the rooms.

"Ms. Terwilliger said she'll do all she can, but that I shouldn't hope. She might not want to talk with me. What will I do if she refuses, Christian? I can't go on like this anymore!" Sydney's voice was full of despair, and I decided not to make my entrance, opening the door and demanding answers. Not yet.

"Calm down," Christian soothed her. "You two still have an hour. She did give you an hour, right? And the Alchemists agreed to buy you a new car."

Well, this was interesting. So Sydney was going to get a new car? It was about time, since I was tired of this whole chauffeur thing. And what did he mean by, 'you two still have an hour?'

"But still," Sydney said desperately. "If we can solve the whole thing with spirit, then I'll at least be able to sleep at night."

"What is the most important thing? Being with him, being with the witches, uncovering the Alchemists or saving his sanity? You can't choose everything, Sydney." Christian's voice was very calm and very gentle. How come he knew the whole situation, while I knew nothing about it? And since when was Christian Sydney's therapist? I mean, they were obviously talking about me. Not that a stone fell from my chest when I realized that, or anything.

"Saving his sanity," Sydney said without hesitation. "If he's okay, everything else will be okay. I don't have to be with him. I don't have to be a witch. The Alchemists can send me to Re-education for all I care. But if I accomplish everything, and he still goes crazy, then what do I have?" She sighed loudly. "I don't know what to do, Christian. I tried to ignore him in the car, but I just wanted to jump him and kiss him more by doing that."

Christian chuckled. "We talked about this. At least twenty times. You need to talk with him. And you two need to work it out." Yes, Christian. That's right, tell her that! I always loved Pyro, but I didn't know he'd suddenly become my girlfriend's BFF. And thankfully, she was talking with him on the phone all the time, and even if that was new and shocking for me, Angeline really freaked me out for a second.

"But he's probably over me, Christian! You know what he said in the car? He said, 'How are you?' That's what you say when you see your ex a month after breaking up!" Okay, Sydney was right. That definitely wasn't the right thing to say.

I summoned up all the courage in me and opened the door, making my entrance. "Is 'I had no idea what the hell was wrong with you and I was so worried so I didn't know what to say' good enough for you?" I said, breathing hard. Sydney was lying on the bed, looking at the ceiling, but when she saw me she immediately sat up, her eyes wide. Christian was sitting on the edge of the bed and he grinned when he saw me.

"That's definitely a good start," he said to me. I ignored him.

"What the hell are you doing, Sage? Now you tell everything to Christian, and you're all cold and distant to me?" I crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly very angry. Spirit was doing this, but I didn't even struggle. I had no strength. I wanted to know everything, and I wanted for her to apologize. And I wanted a smirking Christian, the therapist, out of this room.

"What the hell am _I _doing? I'm not the one who ignored you for three days! Why didn't you call me?" Sydney said, now standing and looking at me with fire in her eyes. If I wasn't so angry, I would've thought she was beautiful. Now I didn't think anything.

"Why didn't _you_ call _me_?" I answered, feeling my voice rise. "You were obviously too busy talking with Christian all the time!" I pointed at Christian who just raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Better for him.

"Are you jealous?" Sydney suddenly asked.

"What?" I asked back, incredulous. Then a thought occurred to me. "Should I be?"

Sydney's eyes widened and she shook her head. "No, of course not," she quickly said. "You're just acting… like you acted when you saw Marcus for the first time. All manly and demanding." Her tone was gentler now and she was looking at me softly, but I wasn't going to give in.

"Manly and demanding?" I asked, my blood boiling in my veins. "You don't talk to me for five days after telling me not to contact you, and when I do just that you ask why. Well, Sydney, why were you so cold five minutes ago, when I asked you that stupid question?"

"Adrian," Sydney said gently, her eyes alarmed. She started walking towards me, but I didn't care. "Calm down. Please. This is spirit talking out of you. I'm sorry."

I laughed. "Yeah, and how come you never remember to say that before the darkness comes?"

Sydney looked taken back by what I just said. Some part of my brain told me I was going to slam my head into the wall later, when I realize what I just said, but I shushed it.

"I just thought you were angry," Sydney said, vulnerability crossing her features. "And I was right."

She stormed past me and slammed the door shut behind her. I raised an eyebrow and shrugged, throwing myself on the bed.

"You seriously messed up," Christian said behind me and Angeline's voice echoed in my mind.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I asked and sighed. My head already hurt, and the fact that I could smell the Sydney on this bed didn't make it any better.

"Perhaps because it's true?" Christian said sarcastically and I threw a pillow at him.

"Hey! Don't take it out on me!" he said, defending himself.

I just shook my head and got up. I had to make this right and even though I had no idea how, I had to at least try. If only I wasn't angry…

Lissa. She could help.

Instead of going out, I went to find Lissa. She was in the living room with Dimitri and they were just finishing some conversation. She looked really beautiful, gentle and innocent in her white queen-like dress, while Dimitri looked very dangerous in his guardian attire and his black duster, that was currently literally cleaning the dust off the floor, since he was kneeling in front of Lissa, not failing to still look very tall. I also didn't fail to notice how he looked very appropriate, and how I could never even compare to him.

I tried to shake those thoughts, knowing they were the bits that remained after Rose shattered my heart. I distracted myself with listening to their conversation.

"Okay, Dimitri," Lissa said in her authorative voice, "you may pass that message to Court. I hope everything will be okay while I'm away, but I can't leave my sister here alone. We're either both going back to Court or staying here, until this situation is over."

Dimitri nodded. "Of course, Lissa. Don't worry. We'll take care of everything." He got up and nodded at me when he saw me.

I quickly approached Lissa and sank to the couch beside her, putting my head on her shoulder. It was a bit awkward since I was taller than her, but it would've been more awkward if I tried to put my head on Sydney's shoulder. She was so much shorter than Lissa, or Jill, or me, or Dimitri, or Eddie. Only Rose and Angeline were as short as she was. And that was one of the cutest things about her.

"This whole thing is a mess," Lissa exclaimed. I just nodded. "I can't pass hereditary laws since I have so many enemies among the royal families, I can't protect Jill since I have so many enemies among humans and Moroi, and I can't leave her because I'm her sister."

"Spirit is bothering me, Liss," I said, trying to calm my voice. "I don't know what to do."

She pulled back to look at me. "Your aura is like a nuclear explosion," she said after a moment. "What happened?"

I sighed again. "I just got angry."

"At Rose?" Lissa asked, and when there was no reaction, she tried again. "Sydney? But what did she do? I thought you two were trying to be together."

"She thinks I'm using too much spirit," I said in a low voice. "And she doesn't let me pull her into spirit dreams. And we can't see each other because Zoe is always there. She never leaves her."

Lissa kissed my forehead. "Don't worry. I also have problems with spirit, all the time. If it's too bad, Christian just locks all razors or anything sharp away and keeps me close until it passes."

I nodded. "I need a ring, or something, Liss, to make this easier."

At that, Lissa smiled. "Oh, I have a ring for you. I charmed it yesterday, actually, so the spells are strong." She got up and rummaged through her purse. After what seemed like an hour, she victoriously exclaimed, "A-ha!" and raised her fingers towards me, holding silver ring in it.

She sat down next to me and put the ring on my ring finger. I immediately felt more aware – it was as if I was drunk and I was suddenly sober again. Or as if I was in a deep water and I suddenly came to the surface.

I closed my eyes. "Thanks, Liss," I whispered.

She kissed my cheek and smiled. "No problem."

After a moment, she lightly punched me in the arm and said, "Now go and save your relationship. You don't have any more excuses."

"She probably already left," I said, but still got up.

"If she doesn't know how to fly, she didn't," Lissa said, still smiling.

I smirked. "You're right. I'm the chauffeur tonight." And with a wink at Lissa, I was gone.

I located Sydney by her aura that showed many nasty things – she felt hurt, abandoned, desperate and lonely.

I also couldn't help but notice how different I felt than the first time I was in Clarence's garden. I was with Abe then, wondering what my purpose was, and I was the one who felt those things. I was hurt by Rose, abandoned by everyone, desperate to do something with myself and lonely, since I had no one in the world except Jill, but she was forced to be close to me.

And now I was the one who was going to show Sydney that she wasn't any of those things. She had me, and she would always have me, if she wanted me. Nothing else mattered.

"Hey," I said, gently touching her shoulder. She was sitting on a bench, looking at the bright sky. It was winter here, but it wasn't cold. It was beautiful, actually. And thankfully, the bench was shaded so I didn't have to worry about the sun.

"Hey," she said shyly, letting me sit next to her. I caught hold of her hand and intertwined our fingers. We both looked at them for a long time.

"I was thinking about how I felt when I first came here," Sydney said softly. "And how I was so scared of everything." She moved her gaze from our hands to my eyes, and now I wasn't angry so I noticed how beautiful she looked. A little pale, but still beautiful. "Now I'm scared of only one thing."

"What is it?" I asked gently when it became obvious she wasn't going to respond.

"I'm scared that of losing you," Sydney whispered.

And that was it. She was in my embrace the next moment and we were both shaking, and touching each other's faces and arms and laughing.

And kissing.

The only thought left in my head was, _I'm so glad Zoe is a junior Alchemist so she has to write a long report._


	45. Chapter 9, part five: Losing Control

**Author's note: **_I'm so tired today, my head hurts, and I'd just like to lie down and close my eyes and sleep, but. Hope the chapter isn't too bad because of this._

_Just a short one – why do people keep thinking I'm going to give up on this story? I will, on November 19__th__. Until then you'll get updates every day (hopefully). Don't be mad if I skip some because of exams or moving back home in September._

_Without any further delay, my reviewers:_

_1. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__ – I love the review, it's so thoughtful and it made me smile. Thank you so much! :)_

_2. __**KeepCalmAndDream**__ – I just hope Richelle doesn't do what I did. And thank you! :)_

_3. __**Bukwurm13**__ – Your idea is wonderful. And I'll make sure to write it. You deserve it. Of course, the only way to stop using spirit would be taking the pills, and that obviously never helped (not really). And yes, I really am taken back, realizing that this story already has over 400 reviews and I'm on chapter nine… Well. Sydrian is, for me, always a happy ending so no worries there. Thank you for supporting me! :)_

_4. __**sheerio4ever**__ – Christian was, like, the best person I could choose for counseling Sydney. I really hope Richelle does the same – makes them best friends. I don't know, I just feel like that's the right thing. Or I read too many fanfics with that thing in them :D And ah. Neil just reminds me of James Blunt somehow, and he came to my mind since his new album is out! And I thought to myself – why not? Because I seriously have no inspiration to think about something that actually makes sense, at least not now. Hope you didn't mind too much? The review is beautiful, so thank you. Seriously. :)_

_5. __**Sam1405**__ – Yes, psychokinesis will be important soon. I am so glad you liked how I altered the excerpt, and I really can't remember what things I altered. I remember that I kept the conversation same, but changed Sydney's thoughts. Phew. You loved Trey-Angeline thing. And how I put Christian into the center of the story. And you liked everything. I'm relieved. You think I should become a writer? :D Well, here's a thing – I'll never be one. Perhaps one day, when I settle down and have kids. But I do have a need to express myself somehow, and this is the perfect way. I am glad that I get to you and that it doesn't look cheap or anything like that. And I'm embarrassed to admit that I… never had a smoothie. Or at least, I think I never had a smoothie. You just wait the Hathaway, aka Mazur, family drama :D I must admit that I love Abe. He is one of my favorite characters. How can I leave him and his clothes out of this? And of course, scarfs. I'm sorry, but I really didn't understand the c41 review. Why would I randomly stop because of 9/17/13? Is there something that's going to happen then? I'm confused. Anyway, back to next reviews. Zoe-Adrian surprised you! It surprised me too, to be honest :D c43 review – Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawh. That, what you said, is just wonderful. No further comments, except more squeaking. As for your last review, you seriously didn't need to review every single chapter. It just makes you that much more awesome! :D And I loved them. Every single sentence of every single review you ever wrote. I remember how at chapter 3 or 4, or something like that, there was a review praising me and an unknown person named "Sam" wrote it. And I was so angry since I couldn't PM you, and I thought, 'Will I ever be able to really thank this person? I'm not sure if she reads the A/Ns!' And then you made a profile. And boom. You're my wonderful friend. I just appreciate you so much, and am so excited to see you write and do the same reviewing like crazy thing to you. Back to the review, don't worry, I'm tired of Sydrian fights, misunderstanding, unexpected things and so. I'm tired in general. I just want to finally write the plot and I should write it now, and I have no idea what to do. We'll see how it ends up. I love you, so much, I'm sorry for writing all of this to be seen in public but I just want everyone to know just how awesome you are. And believe me, you are very, very awesome. Thank you so much for everything!_

_6. __**TheHappyLol**__ – I knew it! And I laughed while I wrote the title, knowing how you'd react. And I was kind of sad, knowing you'd be disappointed. But there'll be plenty of time to actually fight! And your review doesn't suck :P It's wonderful and made me laugh and thank you. And what about your one-shot? You think I forgot about you typing the whole c1of TFH for me? And I tried to count reviews on my phone, you turned out to be one of the lucky numbers. I'm not sure, though, and I'd appreciate if someone counted the 50__th__, 100__th__, 150__th__, 200__th__… And so, reviewers for me. it's the only thing keeping me from publishing the one-shots, really. I need to write those names in the A/N so they can review their requests. This way, I'll probably just end up counting wrong :/ Okay. Back to the review – thank you, popcorn girl! :D_

_7. __**ranDomXx**__ – Since I don't have any other way to say this, THANK YOU! You've been a wonderful support for quite a while already. :)_

_8. __**SoZina**__ – Well, I just hope guys actually read this. Or Richelle decides to write a codex on how to be a real gentleman like Adrian and they read it. I am so glad I made you laugh! It fascinates me, making people feel with my words. Don't worry, ZoexNeil will happen. I just need to wait for the right moment. I might do a Zoe's POV chapter later just to get you all in her head and her thinking for a while. Thank you for R&R&S! :D That looks weird…_

_9. __**Totalbookner13**__ – You. Will. Definitely. Get. A . One-shot. I want to count who wrote the most reviews and I bet you'll be on the top with a few others! Just thank you. There's no toher way to express it. :)_

_10. __**Katrick**__ – Past the shock? I think someone would've started crying, died or freaked out if I left Sydrian fighting. Glad I calmed you all down :D Hope this is fast enough? And thanks, for everything! Did you think up anything about that one-shot you earned? :)_

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead. Now enough of rambling, and let's read. Or write, in my case._

Clarence's. My apartment. Sleep. Art classes. An hour of making out weekly. Muffled phone-calls at nights. Frustration. Clarence's again. Stolen glances. Frustration again. Loneliness again. My apartment again. Sleep again.

I was never a person that had somewhere to be at an exact time, every single day. Yeah, sure, I had school but never actually acted by the rules. So this schedule, this punctuation was totally new to me. It stretched for three weeks already and I was kind of getting sick of it.

Trey would occasionally bring news about the plans the vampire hunters were forging. He'd simply tell us upsetting things – like how they knew exactly who they needed to kill, but weren't sure if Jill's death should be quick or slow. Most of them agreed on _painful_. I was acting all manly and brave, but that made me shiver.

Sydney never even flinched. It's as if she expected of Trey to say those things, and I often forgot how she tried – and failed – to diplomatically save Sonya. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Sydney was interested in their meeting with the Alchemists, in the exact date and place where they intended to do it, but Trey, of course knew nothing. He was barely accepted in the society and they weren't sitting at the round table, discussing the matters with him listening. On the other hand, his father was kind of important among the Warriors, but he still hadn't opened to Trey. A bunch of lies, if you ask me, but Sydney insisted in honesty of Trey's words.

She also insisted on meeting with Marcus too many times, and after Marcus said 'he felt uncomfortable with a Moroi listening to their _private_ discussion' we had a nice, long talk that included a lot of sharp breaths from my side and a lot of begging from Sydney's side and we ended on some kind of an ultimatum I wasn't the slightly pleased about.

"I'll meet him once a week and I'll tell you everything we talk about, okay?" Sydney said for the thousandth time and I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Even if you talk about how he lost his puppy when he was 3, or how you had an awful childhood?" And that's when I knew there was something she wasn't saying to me. She drew in a sharp breath, her eyes wide.

And after that she just said we'd talk about it later. I was confused as hell, not knowing why she was acting like this, and trying to fight the jealousy. I've seen the look he gave her. I've seen his aura. It was as clear as a day – the guy was totally in love with her! But did they actually talk about his puppy or his childhood? Did I accidentally hit the vein?

I didn't have time to think about that. Lissa was busy with trying to find a solution about the hereditary laws and some of the royal families actually expected from her to marry Christian (and they often suggested other people), saying they'd "have an easier time in trusting her decisions if she was guided by a man." That was certainly new for Christian – nobody ever called him a man before.

This would've been really amusing if I had time to sit and laugh. But no; I was pulled on so many sides by Sydney, Jill, my physical needs (I had to go to Clarence's every second day _and _had to punctuate myself to get there in the exact time when Sydney did), my art classes and trying to find out something about Marcus. But the guy was an ex-Alchemist after all, and there was nothing about him. It was as if he didn't exist.

Sydney finally agreed to talk about Marcus after five days of talking back and forth. It was very weird, hearing the story with her voice muffled by the sound of the water turned on in the shower as a distraction for Zoe. And it was 11 PM, so I had trouble in focusing. I was really getting used to human schedule.

She told me about the Moroi girl from Athens and why Marcus left from the Alchemists. She told me how he looked at her emphatically when she told him Jared specifically asked of her not to be assigned to Greece or Italy, saying it'd be too distracting. And how she felt she could trust him.

I should've said how I saw him that day, sneaking around my apartment. I should've said how he was dangerous and how I didn't want to let him be alone with my whole world, not even a second.

But I knew she'd just write me off as jealous. I didn't trust Marcus. I didn't like him. I was disgusted by myself because I actually healed him once, but the fact that Sydney practically begged me to do it eased my pain. And because I couldn't explain to her with concrete evidence why I didn't like him, I had to settle on just keeping her safe.

For now.

"Okay," I said with a sigh as Sydney turned the water in the shower off and turned the water in the sink on instead. I tried not to roll my eyes but I did, knowing Zoe was asleep and that she couldn't hear Sydney.

"Don't even try to make me believe you don't have a condition," Sydney said in a muffled whisper. I, a Moroi, barely heard her from all the noises in the background.

"Eddie has to come with you," I said quickly. "And since you said Sabrina will be back in a couple of days, being protected won't be a bad thing, right? Besides, Marcus knows him." I really hoped I sounded reassuring instead of desperate.

Now it was Sydney's turn to sigh. She was silent for a moment and then finally said, "Okay."

I thought I misheard, or imagined it. Spirit was giving me some serious trouble these last few days, since Lissa experimented with charming a silver bracelet and it obviously wasn't working. Thank God, at least today wasn't a very frustrating day.

"I'll do it," Sydney said with more fierceness. "They'll let me bring Eddie with me."

I slept peacefully the following night. The next day I rushed to the desert, being a chauffeur again for Sydney and Jackie (since Sydney was going to get funds for a new car in a week and she was so excited that I laughed all the time), and I couldn't help but grin when Jackie winked at me after I said I'd catch Sydney if she fell on the ground unconscious. Yeah, the old woman knew. I wondered if Sydney told her, or if she figured it out by some special sixth sense only witches had.

Watching Sydney sit on the sand, focusing hard on a rock, feeling the power radiating from her and rustling her hair, was fascinating. And seeing the spoon start to tremble and, finally, lift from the ground and hover an inch above the ground, was even more fascinating.

Why? Because that was another thing Sydney and I had in common. It was another thing that made me feel like I belonged with her. Like I belonged _anywhere_. And it made me feel less unnatural, less despicable less scary.

Sydney fell in my arms, unconscious, after a minute or so, but Jackie warned me not to try to heal her, saying it was mental exhaustion and that another wave of power would just make her feel more exhausted. I felt awful, not able to help her, but I also couldn't help but enjoy the sight of that angel in front of me.

She really was beautiful. I didn't even know how to say it to her anymore; words weren't enough anymore. My paintings were a good replacement – I loved the astonished, praising look in her eyes whenever she saw something I painted. And I mostly painted her – the yellow and purple, sometimes a bit of red and regular yellow mixed up, her fierceness visible in those eyes I was never able to quite capture, but tried a thousand times. Sometimes Hopper or Lily would be with her, and she always melted when I showed her those paintings.

I tried to show her how much I cared for her in that one hour per week we had. I tried to tell her by kissing her fiercely, by smelling her hair and enjoying the sense of pureness that'd overcome me every single time. I tried to show her by tangling my fingers in her hair, by kissing her neck gently or just running my hands over her body. Or just by looking at her, not hiding my emotions. Not pretending. But… we mostly just ended up on her couch with the buttons on her blouse half-opened. The key word being _half_. And I'd always ended up by being astonished and proud of myself for even getting that far.

I sighed a lot in those days. Sydney still didn't let me pull her into a spirit dream and I almost decided to just do it without her permission and suffer the consequences later, when something crazy happened and stopped me. Imagine it – something stopping Adrian Ivashkov from

We were sitting in Clarence's living room, waiting for Jill to feed (and she was doing it very slowly these days, so I was glad Zoe didn't know the average time a feeding lasts, so she wasn't suspicious), and Angeline was groaning how she was bored. The TV was turned on and she couldn't settle on watching one channel, so Neil snatched the remote from her and found a boxing match.

Even Zoe rolled her eyes at that.

Meanwhile, I was sitting as far away from Sydney as possible, while she was pretending to write her homework. I was trying not to look at her, but she was there, in my peripheral vision the whole time and I couldn't help but look at her.

After a minute or so, Sydney glanced at me for the millionth time (she obviously couldn't focus on her homework) and gently tilted her head towards the door.

I had no idea what that meant, so I just looked at Zoe. She was looking distracted, her gaze on the ceiling. It was as if the Alchemists deliberately sent her here to control us.

I tried the non-suspicious approach. "I'm going to see what's taking Jill so long," I said, hoping I didn't seem nervous. Angeline and Neil shrugged, and Zoe's eyes widened.

"You're not going to… feed too, right?" she asked in a very scared voice.

Just the opening I needed. "Actually, I am. I thought Jill'd be over with it by now." I grinned.

Zoe looked even more afraid now, her face as white as a wall. "But… Dorothy… she can't…" she stammered, and I just shrugged and got up.

I didn't look at Sydney. She had to get out of there, somehow.

The house was awfully empty with 'the royal guard,' as I loved to call Lissa and her entourage, gone to shopping. I mean, it was such an important occasion that all guardians had to go. Only two were left outside of the house, meant to intercept any eventual threat.

I thought everyone was being paranoid, but still. Nobody cared about my opinion.

Jill, of course, was standing just outside of the living room, obviously waiting for Sydney and me to satisfy our daily needs of looking at each other.

The problem was, she wasn't alone. And she was quite busy, it seemed.

From where I stood, only Eddie's large back and Jill's hair were visible. And thankfully, they were almost silent. Jill's hands were on Eddie's back and she was pushing him closer to her. I smirked. That was my girl, being direct and all. Castile stood no chance against her.

Jill suddenly stopped and gasped as Eddie leaned back. Her flush face was finally visible and she blushed even more when our gazes touched.

I mean, she practically had nothing to be ashamed off, but try explaining that to a 15-year-old-girl. I was like her older brother. I just hoped she didn't expect of me to try threatening Eddie or something. I frowned at the thought. That would just end badly for me.

Jill laughed and Eddie turned around, his face showing confusion. As soon as he saw me, his hands left Jill's waist and he jumped back, horrified. That was cute, I had to admit.

And the blush that crept onto his face was even funnier. "Don't stop because of me," I said, raising an eyebrow. "I'm just worried what would've happened if it was Zoe that came out of the room instead of me. Or Sydney." Sydney would've probably been more horrified than Eddie.

"I-" Eddie started, and then took a deep breath, pulling his fingers through his hair. After a moment or so, without looking at Jill, his guardian composure came back to place. "That was a moment of distraction. It won't ever happen again."

Jill's face fell and she bit her lower lip. "Of course," she said silently. "I don't know what overcame me." _I have a very good feeling what overcame you, Jailbait_, I sent through the bond and Jill blushed even more, but she was smiling.

"Now, you two need to get back in there and get Sydney here," I said firmly. "She wants to talk with me."

Suddenly, the door opened and Sydney came out of the room. As soon as she closed the door, she put her back on it and sighed in relief.

Then she opened her eyes and took in the scene. Eddie separated himself from Jill even more and he looked at his feet. Sydney just shook her head and turned towards me.

"We don't have time," she said, breathless.

I nodded. "Jill, go back in and tell that I just started feeding," I quickly said and Jill immediately nodded. "I bet she'll like the thought."

Laughing Jill and scarlet-flushed Eddie quickly re-entered the room. I heard Jill say, "Adrian is probably going to be a while, it's a mess in the kitchen."

I didn't have time to laugh. "Adrian," Sydney said softly. "Ms. Terwilliger found a book with mind spells."

"More telekinesis?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Perhaps Jackie's taking it too far."

Sydney shook her head. "The spells aren't about the mind affecting the environment. They're about the environment affecting the mind."

"But how…" I started, when the door suddenly opened and an enraged Angeline came out, her long hair slashing through the air.

"Okay, what did Adrian do to mess up the kitchen? I want my food clean of bl-" she said and stopped herself, seeing Sydney's and mine faces.

She just nodded and turned around, but Jill was already out of the room. "Angeline," she said with an emphasis.

"We'll talk tonight," I whispered to Sydney and she nodded.

"I had to tell you," she said with a smile. "If there is any way for me to help, I want you to know about it."

And it ended up with Jill and Angeline watching us kiss.

The following night was long, with a 2-hour-phone call in which Sydney tried to translate all the spells from Latin and ancient Greek. I won't lie – I was very excited about the thought of Sydney experimenting with her magic on me, but I was afraid she'd overdo it. I didn't want for her to be weak and collapse all the time just to try helping me with spirit.

But if she did it – if there was a cure, it was very important. I had a secret I never told her. I never mustered up the courage. The fact was, when I drank her blood, the darkness totally disappeared. I felt totally fine for the next hour, without spirit bothering me. it never happened with anyone else, ever before, and I really tried to convince myself that it was a connection the two of us shared, but I couldn't help but think it was something about her blood.

So yeah, I was silent, knowing it'd just freak her out. And she had a lot to keep up with.

The next thing on my schedule was my art class. Rowena was silent for a few days, thinking I was in some sort of a crisis, but I apologized and we were back to casual talk. I felt like I could tell her many things, and I did sometimes, when I accidentally drew Sydney instead of a basket full of fruit. She knew I had a girlfriend and was actually very cool with it. I was used to girls wanting to kill each other over who had more rights over me. Rowena actually liked Sydney. I would meet the two, but I knew Sydney'd get paranoid. After all, Rowena understood a part of me not even Sydney did.

Rowena was quite talented. I loved how she drew things using a different perspective and how she made it all look nice, just like I did. That's probably why we understood each other's paintings. And why we loved to say awful things about them.

But those were just moments in which I could forget I was a vampire, tied to a mess of things nobody ever really wanted. I didn't even remember how and when, and why exactly I became a part of it all. I just knew I wasn't regretting reviving Jill. It brought me Sydney and it brought me myself.

That's why I decided to take matter in my own hands, when the chance appeared. I became a completely different person and now I trusted myself. I trusted _in_ myself. I was capable of doing things.

So when I accidentally saw Marcus outside of the shop, near my car, while I was buying art supplies, I decided it was enough.

I've had enough of that blond hair, of that smirking face and that indigo tattoo. A glance at him and all my fears about Sydney awoke.

He was wearing a green shirt and denim, obviously trying not to be too memorable. He was touching the hood of my Ivashkinator, traumatizing my car. I was becoming increasingly paranoid because of Sydney, starting to think of cars as living beings and all.

I waited a minute and followed Marcus, after he finally decided to leave my car alone. He was constantly glancing back, so I had to be really careful, but I managed to follow him, somehow.

He chose all the back streets with as few people passing by as possible, and he finally stopped in a dark alley. It wasn't a problem for me, though, since I was able to see very well in the dark.

Marcus was talking in a very quiet voice with a tall, blond man, and I couldn't help but think he was Marcus' father. From this distance, they looked alike – both were disgusting, sneaking around, with golden lilies on their cheeks.

Marcus was a traitor, just as I thought. Then why didn't I feel happy?

Thankfully, I was able to hear what Marcus was saying. "…the car. There aren't any visible traces, but I swear she was in the car with him. Many times." That certainly intrigued me. Were they talking about Sydney and me?

"Until you find evidences, I'm afraid I can't help you," the man said in a very cold voice. It almost made me shiver. Who was this guy? And what did Marcus ask from him?

"I know," Marcus said in a nervous voice, "but I'd prefer if you just believed me. is it that hard?"

The man laughed, but it was a humorless laugh. "It's not easy to trust you while you have that tattoo on your cheek," he said. "And it's my daughter you're talking about. She is impulsive and independent, but doing _that_ with a Moroi?" His voice sounded disgusted. "It's not easy to believe. Especially after how progressive she was on the mission…"

I gulped. It couldn't be. I was suddenly very afraid. But not of the man, or Marcus – I was afraid of myself.

"But you should trust me," Marcus said, sounding offended. "After all, I'm your son, Jared."

I shut my eyes tightly and my palm suddenly started hurting. It was because my hands were balled into fists very tightly.

Then things happened too fast for me to even comprehend them – my body went on autopilot.

Jared didn't even know what happened. He was as astonished as I was internally.

I just remember that I heard bones snapping when my fist connected with his face.


	46. Chapter 10, part one: Uncertainty

**Author's note: **_Okay, the previous chapter was a bit shocking. I was going just for Adrian punching Jared, but well. Does anything ever work out like I initially wanted?_

_You are going to be enraged. Yes, this chapter is from Sydney's POV and you maybe get Adrian somewhere near the end. At least, that's my plan. Now, I have no idea if it'll work out._

_So, who reviewed? _

_**Sheerio4ever**__, with as many questions as everyone else. She asked me if I'll do this for Silver Shadows too, when TFH is out, and I'll do it if you guys want me to. Thank you so much for the review and the support. :)_

_**Percabethlvrknowsall**__, loving the chapter. That is a relief! Thank you so much. :)_

_**Alicella Ivashkov**__, shocked. Yeah, Adrian is badass and we all love him! Thanks for supporting me :D_

_**KyKat**__, loving Jeddie and experimenting with spirit. Don't be worried, it'll get worse for sure :D Thank you, thank you! :)_

_**TheHappyLol**__, with a crazy review about how shocked she is and how much she loves me. I was kind of scared in the beginning, when I saw those questions, thinking you hated what I did. But phew. You were just shocked. My popcorn girl, thank you for your support! :)_

_**Crystal jaide**__, saying it's the best thing she ever read! That is one hell of a compliment :D Thank you so much! :)_

_**Katrick**__, loving how I made Adrian punch Jared. I wanted to write that for a long, long time :D And you rock! Thank you so much :)_

_**My sister**__** HopperIvashkinator**__, with those wonderful brilliant reviews. Thank you so much, sis, for all those kind words. I love you so much, and as soon as you remind me of your one-shot I'll write it and update! And I think that the next one belongs to Bukwurm13, right? :D_

_**MilankaLovesMetal**__, my crazy girl! I'm so glad you decided to review this chapter. It means so much. Thank you for your kind words and I have to say – love you too :D_

_I love you all, my reviewers. I'll PM you if I must, saying just that I love you. You say that I'm able to make you happy, angry and that I can make you laugh, but you do that to me too! I mostly just laugh to your reactions. And I confuse you quite a lot (but then again, I do that to myself too)._

_And can you believe it? This A/N has less than 1k words! That is a personal record. I'm not rambling that much anymore… or I just answered all your reviews via PM. _

_Guys, sorry for the short update but I'm practically sleeping (1 AM here) and I just can't write anymore. I settled on 2k words, and I hope that's enough to get you through the night. _

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead._

"Jill," I said with a sigh, "Please."

She knew exactly how horrified and concerned I was. She knew exactly what she was doing by not telling me what happened.

And something happened. That much I knew for sure.

Jill was talking to me in the dorm's hallway when her eyes suddenly became unfocused, which meant she was pulled into Adrian's mind through the bond. And just a second later, she gasped and put her hands around her mouth.

Something definitely happened.

An hour later, I was with Jill in her room (Angeline was insisting to stay, but when I told her we'd be okay and that she could go to the library and find Trey, since he was there studying chemistry, she just grinned and left the room) and she still refused to tell me what happened.

I was thinking about a variety of things. Nobody kidnapped or killed Adrian, since Jill didn't scream or freak out. But something did happen to him! And she was shaken up, that was evident.

But every time I asked, no matter how pleading or even fierce I was, she just shook her head and fell silent, her gaze on the floor.

Was spirit bothering him? Did he do something? I had to know. I knew I was going to go crazy if she didn't tell me, or if I didn't see Adrian in flesh, which was going to have to wait for another five days.

I couldn't wait five days. I tried a different approach. "What happened with Eddie today?" I asked carefully, trying not to sound prying. He was looking very embarrassed and Adrian was kind of self-satisfied. Did they finally decide to be together?

"I told him I was scared that someone was going to kill me, and…" Jill blushed, turning her gaze on the bed, playing with the hem of her shirt, "he said he'd never allow something like that and we ended up…"

I smiled. So at least someone was happy. Jill looked at me when I said nothing and her eyes widened. "Oh, no, Sydney, nothing like that. It was just a moment of weakness, nothing more. Although it felt very nice, you know, since I didn't need to hide my fangs like with Micah, or anything. And I was so worried that my hair was out of place, but Eddie didn't care-" she stopped rambling when she saw the exasperated look on my face. "What?" she asked silently.

"A moment of weakness?" I repeated. Seeing her nod, I put my head in my hands. "What do I need to do to get you two together?"

"Sydney," Jill said softly, "Eddie is my guardian. I'd just be distracting him from his duties. And it's not like he's my permanent guardian or something. He's just a part of the mission, trying to get his reputation and his place among guardians back." She was almost whispering by now and it was obvious that it wasn't easy for her to say that.

I sighed. "That is not true," I firmly said. "Eddie loves you with all his heart. And believe me, if you offered, he'd gladly become your permanent guardian." I paused for a second, then added thoughtfully, "I don't think anyone could guard you better than him."

Jill smiled, still not looking at me. "Yeah, he's the best." She was silent for a moment after that, biting her lower lip, as if she wanted to say something to me. Then she looked up at me and I prayed to God that she finally decided to tell me what was wrong with Adrian.

But no. I wasn't that lucky. "Do you think he'd accept if I asked him to train with me again?" Jill was looking embarrassed and I mentally slapped myself. Of course. Who cared that I was freaking out? Training with Eddie was important.

I sighed internally. This was Jill, and I had no reason to take my frustration out on her. Except maybe because she knew something and didn't want to tell me. But, perhaps she'd change her mind if I was nice to her. Probably not. "Of course he would," I settled on saying. "He adores you."

Jill smiled. "Thank you, Sydney." She rose from the bed and gently patted my shoulder. It was a warm sisterly gesture, so I couldn't help but smile. No matter what, I couldn't be mad at Jill. She reminded me of Zoe – of the non-Alchemist Zoe – too much.

"Please, Jill," I whispered. "Just tell me that he is fine and that he's alive and happy and I'll survive for five days." She could've heard the desperation in my voice. She could've heard various emotions in that one sentence – all the love, concern, trust I felt for Adrian.

And she heard. Her eyes widened and she started to say, "I can't say-"

But, then the door of the room opened. Thankfully, I wasn't sitting on the bed, beside Jill, or Zoe would've freaked out.

"What are you still doing here?" Zoe said, nervous and angry.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. She didn't even want to enter the room, since it wasn't sacred ground and she believed that vampires couldn't enter churches. Unfortunately, I believed that myself until recently. Zoe's head was just peering from the doorway, but one look in her bronze eyes and I knew that this was an unnecessary situation for her.

"I had to talk with the princess about the Court's business," I said in a neutral voice. Internally, I kept sighing and kicking my forehead with my palm.

"You should've invited me to the meeting," Zoe said, narrowing her eyes. Yeah, I forgot, the lost puppy wanted to know everything and tended to report every single word of every single conversation to Stanton.

I really hoped Stanton didn't actually read those reports.

"Look, Zoe," I started, "you can't be there at every single meeting with every single person-"

I stopped when Jill stood up. From the cold look in her eyes I knew that this wasn't good. "Zoe," she said as if it was a curse, "you are a smart girl. You surely know why I'm here."

Jill was approaching Zoe and Zoe was looking more uncomfortable with every passing second. She was as pale as a wall when Jill fully approached her.

"Ye- yes," Zoe stammered, her eyes widening.

Jill grinned, and I've never seen that grin in my life. It was full – including fangs – smile that, in this case, indicated that Jill was hungry.

My soft Jill was showing her fangs to Zoe? And all blood was gone from Zoe's face. What game was Jill playing?

"Then you must know," Jill said as she leaned to Zoe's ear and then continued in a whisper, "that I love my blood fresh. And human."

Zoe gulped. She wasn't looking at me, thankfully; if she was, she'd just see a massive confusion on my face. Not fear or repulsion. And that'd be problematic.

"You can't feed from me, you know," Zoe said in a shaking voice. "My tattoo prevents you from it."

Now how did she find that out? It didn't seem to affect Jill, though. She didn't even flinch. "If you ever, ever enter my room without my permission, I am going to show you just how much I love Alchemist blood," Jill said and laughed in a Dracula-voice. "Now get the hell out of my room!" she practically screamed.

I blinked. What did just happen? Did Jill just… threaten Zoe? Because that was ridiculous. But still, it seemed to be the truth. At least Jill acted like it.

Zoe finally looked at me and smiled politely at Jill. "Well, I'd better go now," she said and hastily got out of the room.

Jill winked at me and I shrugged, getting out of the room too. I was tired of putting Zoe together, but I wouldn't complain if this was a regular day. It was definitely not. I had no idea where Adrian was and if he was okay, and now I needed to let my sister cry on my shoulder because a vampire made a joke she didn't understand?

I didn't have time for that.

Zoe was in our room (Mrs. Weathers said that a good punishment for me would be sharing a room, and I mentally kicked myself for coming late that day from Malibu – and I was never late in my life, ever before!), sitting on the bed, her head in her hands.

I closed the door gently, hoping she didn't hear me, but I wasn't that lucky. Zoe glanced at me and sniffed. Her eyes were reddish and she was very pale.

I sighed and sat on the bed next to her. I started pulling my hands through her hair, knowing it'd calm her down. It always did, when we were little and she came to my room to cry after dad told her he was disappointed in her.

"A Moroi just threatened me," Zoe said, her voice neutral. I noticed that she was probably struggling to keep control over it. "I'm not even a real Alchemist yet and I already got a threat." She shook her head. "How can you put up with this, Sydney?"

I smiled. It was a fake smile, but it worked. Zoe's muscles relaxed a bit. "I have a lot of experience," I heard myself say. What an obvious lie.

"And when I think about people that actually _like_ them…" Zoe said with disgust in her voice and she shook her head. "Those Keepers are really disgusting. If the Moroi wasn't the princess, I would've asked from Stanton to remove her from the mission. Now I just want Angeline taken away. She disgusts me."

My stomach tightened. How could she think like that about Angeline? Angeline was impulsive and perhaps a little old-fashioned, but she was fierce and loyal and good-hearted. But my sister didn't even see that she had emotions – she was just an evil creature incapable of feeling anything for her.

"But the Keepers are good fighters," I said, trying to sound gentle. "That's why Angeline is here. And she can't be taken away, her knowledge of the mission is too dangerous." Yeah. I had reasons to make her believe me. I just hoped she would.

Zoe nodded. "I know. That's why I haven't reported on anyone yet," she said and smiled at me.

_Yet._ Why did I have a feeling that she was going to report on me, specifically? Why wasn't I feeling safe anymore?

I just sighed. Zoe was my sister, but she was dangerous. And I had to hide my true beliefs from her in order to protect myself.


	47. Chapter 10, part two: The Betrayal

**Author's note: **_OH MY GOD. So many reviews. I don't even know what to say anymore, except that maybe I'm doing a good job? :D_

_Okay. I know it doesn't matter, but I feel like I must share it. "Don't take your love away" by Kansas is playing and I'm feeling euphoric! And I love your reviews. I hope you're not too angry at me after you read this chapter! God, I love Kansas. And Supernatural._

_**HopperIvashkinator**__, I love you. You know the rest._

_**UrusaiGenni**__, hope that means you liked it? And is that a new reviewer I have! If you didn't review ever before, WELCOME! :D_

_**Iheartfillintheblank**__, please don't feel that way! And you're Rose! I must admit that I missed you so much. And that I'm glad you're back. I haven't read VD, but I'll make sure to read your story and approach it from the most objective (and of course, the most subjective) perspective. Lots of hearts for you too! :)_

_**Bukwurm13**__, yes! It's happening! :D_

_**ranDomXx**__, of course I did! I wanted to put everything together yesterday, but it was past 1 AM and I didn't even see what I was writing anymore. I'm sorry for that, hope it clears up in this chapter? :)_

_**TheHappyLol**__, sorry to disappoint you, but you're going to suffer a little bit more. There's a lot coming for Sydney, but we'll have Adrian in this chapter too! ;) And popcorn girl? I love you and your reviews :D_

_**Sheerio4ever**__, I'm really sorry for the short chapter but I didn't want to skip an update and yet I didn't have the strength to really write. As soon as I get a permanent Internet access, I'm going to spend days in just reading and reviewing these people's stories. I think everyone deserve that :) Monday is credit day for you too! :D Love you too, and thanks! :)_

_**Rebelde09**__, I missed you! But no problem, now I know your opinion of the chapters. And, you know, we all just keep rolling our eyes at Zoe. Nic is… hot. If only he had green eyes, he'd be the perfect Adrian. But, he is so hot with his brown eyes… :D The host (the book) I loved so much, but the movie is so awful that I don't know what to say. Ew. Hmm. About the bite. I'll try to explain it through the chapters, but if a person keeps being bitten (like Rose was), they can't be focused on anything or even think properly. Rose just waited for the next bite, and then the next… like a real addict. Sydney's mind is the most important part of her, and if she kept thinking about when she was going to be bitten next, she'd lose all her good intellectual properties. That's why she's so afraid (and because of the Alchemists' beliefs that vampires only want to do that and that biting, being dependent on blood is what makes them evil, along with yielding magic). Hope it's not too confusing! :) I fight with my brother all the time because of his pride. And I kind of inherited that myself, so I know how it is. I think that one of the hardest things for me is to get past my pride. But I'm learning that lately… I really hope this update is fast enough and that I updated before you went to work, but if not, I'm sorry and I hope you'll soon get time to read! Love you, and don't stress yourself out :)_

_Now, I'm still answering rebelde09's review, but it's something I'd like to ask everyone else. __The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones__ is going to start showing in cinemas in my country (hopefully) in a month. I'd really like to hear your opinions of the movie, since I love the first 3 books (I didn't want to read the rest since book 6 isn't out yet, but I love the #5 cover!) and I'm really anxious to watch the movie. From the trailer, though, I don't really like the actor (Jace). But I think I'll get over it if I watch him for almost two hours :D And I know you'll all be angry, but I'm more into The Infernal Devices. I cried from page 149 in Clockwork Princess. And I'm in love with Jem… sigh._

_**Totalbooknerd13**__, of course you get a one-shot! And I promise it'll be up today, even if I write until 3 AM. I don't care. I'll do it. _

_**Crystal jaide**__, don't be scared. Oh, I shouldn't have said that :D Thanks, love you! :)_

_**Katrick**__, don't worry. He's hurt but it's not too bad. Oh, I shouldn't have said that either but you all know you love me! And I love you too ;D_

_**Holly**__, a new reviewer! Come here! *hugs you* Welcome to the house of crazy people that are in love with Adrian. :D If you love the fluff, you'll love the one-shots! They're all about the fluff! Love you and the review. You made me smile. _

_You all know it - all the characters belong to Richelle Mead. Adrian included._

I, Sydney Katherine Sage, snapped.

I got up, as silently as I could, from my bed and sneaked out of the room. I wasn't thinking about the Alchemist compound I put in Zoe's coffee earlier, which made her fall asleep. I wasn't thinking about the amount I put in the coffee and how she was probably going to sleep for a day. And I certainly wasn't thinking about the fact that I planned this and that I was going to sneak out of my dorm. Again.

If I did pause to think about anything, even for a second, I'd freak out. That's why I decided to think just about the plan.

Knocking on Julia and Kristen's door was easy. Telling them I needed to use that secret passage again was easy. And answering to their question, 'Are you sneaking out to make out with your boyfriend?' was the easiest. Smiling while I nodded, not that easy.

Getting to Adrian's apartment wasn't supposed to be an easy thing. I didn't have a car, and walking miles wasn't the best option. Besides, what if he wasn't there?

So yeah, when I spotted Christian in Clarence's car, I finally allowed myself to breathe. He was there. He promised me. And I couldn't have just sent him to see if Adrian was okay – I needed to touch him and assure myself.

Driving to Adrian's apartment wasn't easy. Christian kept trying to talk to me, but I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. What was waiting for me there? Re-education? Vampire hunters? Another girl? I had no idea, but I had a very bad feeling in my stomach.

I didn't want to think about how wrong what I've just done was, but I found myself doing it anyway.

I just drugged my sister – really drugged her, with three dozes of an Alchemist sleeping compound. I sneaked out of my school, breaking a thousand rules, in order to see my boyfriend.

God, what was happening with me? I was either crazy or madly in love. Or both. _Irresponsible__**, **_I heard Brayden's voice in my head. Oh, Brayden, you have no idea how right you were. I really was an irresponsible, rogue Alchemist.

The feeling in my stomach just worsened during the ride. I tuned in to Christian's monologue, trying to distract myself.

"… the duck. I was quite impressed with myself when it ignited," Christian was saying in an easy tone, obviously aware that I wasn't aware.

"Christian," I said warily and he immediately tilted his head. "Did you just say that you put _a duck_ on fire?" I tried – and failed – not to laugh. Adrian was my best –boyfriend – friend, but Christian was definitely my best friend. It took me three weeks to realize that.

The smirk on his face proved as much. "Actually, I did," he said, self-satisified. "I figured you wouldn't be interested, since you were in your thoughts so deeply," and he continued in a high-pitched voice, imitating me, "for my only love, my Adrian Ivashkov, the American vampire with a Russian surname." He sighed dramatically and I rolled my eyes.

"What kind of a surname is 'Ozera' anyway?" I asked, teasing him.

"Better than 'Sage,' that's for sure," Christian answered dramatically.

I was sitting, but I turned towards him and put my hands on my hips. "Take it back," I said in mock-anger.

"Or what?" Christian asked as he glanced at me.

"Or I'll…" I paused, searching for something that'd scare him, "throw a fireball at your hair."

He laughed. "I'm so scared now."

"I told you I can throw shards with my mind, right?" I said with a raised eyebrow and he gulped.

"Perhaps I take it back… when you change your surname," Christian said. "But we both agree that 'Ivashkov' is the worst surname, right? It's so _Russian._ And Adrian doesn't speak a word of Russian."

"Oh, no, he does," I said. "He knows how to say _vodka_." And we both burst out laughing. The euphoria lasted for a moment, but it was enough for me to assure myself that everything was okay.

Yeah. I wasn't even a slightest bit concerned when Christian pulled up in front of Adrian's apartment.

Christian turned off the engine and turned towards me. "You need to let me go in there-" he started, but I was already out of the car.

And a minute later, I was still rummaging through my purse, trying to find the spare key Adrian gave me.

"Women," Christian said with disgust.

I sighed. It had to be somewhere among Alchemist compounds, hair brushes, credit cards, mobile phones and papers.

"A-ha!" I finally exclaimed a minute later, holding the key in my hand.

Christian tried to snatch it from my hand, but I leaned back and shook my head. He crossed his arms over his chest and mumbled something that sounded like, 'Why don't I use fire on her,' but I didn't care anymore.

I was entering Adrian's dark apartment, my heart hammering in my chest. I didn't want to turn the light on, because Adrian could've been on the couch or somewhere in the room and it would scare him. I quickly found a flashlight in my purse (it was easy to found it, since it was bigger than a key), and I lightened the path, hoping I wouldn't bump into a painting or something else.

"You keep a flashlight in your purse?" I heard Christian whisper behind me and I rolled my eyes.

"Who doesn't?" I replied and he silently chuckled. I couldn't focus on him anymore; my hands were shaking and I saw paintings, clothes scattered on the floor. There was a bottle of something – probably alcoholic – in the corner and I swallowed.

What happened here? What could've caused something like this? Did someone break in and kidnap Adrian? But Jill would've told me!

Adrian was nowhere to be seen in the whole apartment. Not in the kitchen, in the hallway, in the living room or in the bathroom.

The only room that was left was the bedroom.

Christian caught my wrist and pushed himself in front of me. "If there's someone there," he whispered, "I want to be in the front."

I nodded and we slowly started moving towards the bedroom. Christian was taller and had very wide back, so I basically saw nothing. I noted how he didn't take the flashlight from me, but then I remembered how he was a Moroi and how he didn't need one.

Christian slowly opened the door. I tried to move to be able to see something – anything – but he kept me behind him on purpose. I was already contemplating whether to start screaming for him to move aside, but then I heard him gasp and my heart stopped beating.

He couldn't stop me from slipping underneath his arms – thank God, I was very small and it was easy – and a gasp escaped me when I lightened the bed with the flashlight.

Adrian was on the bed, his back bare. He wasn't wearing a shirt and he was lying just in his trousers, but that's not why I gasped. It would've been in any other situation, but not in this one.

Adrian's back were dark. Dark as in _bruised_. I couldn't even identify the exact color, something between black and gray and purple and blue. He was covered in bruises and I didn't fail to notice the blood on his forehead.

The flashlight dropped from my hand and a loud _thump_ echoed through the room. Adrian tried to catch my hand, but I was already running to Adrian's side.

I was too shocked to feel anything but my heart's loud thumping. I was lying beside the bed, pulling my hand through Adrian's hair, and I didn't fail to notice it was sticky.

I gulped. Who could've done something like this? And what did Adrian do to get himself into a position like this? Why didn't he call? Why didn't he do anything? Why did he just come here and lie down? And why, why didn't Jill say anything?

I was so angry that Christian flinched when I turned around to look at him. "Get Lissa here," I said in the coldest whisper I've ever heard and in a second he disappeared from the bedroom.

I was left alone with the man I loved, the man that was breathing steadily. At least he wasn't in pain.

I found myself snuggle my head in the crook of his neck, breathing him in. He smelled like blood, dust and sweat, but he smelled like Adrian too.

That didn't manage to soothe me, though. I was so angry, cursing everyone who ever tried to hurt my Adrian. Cursing everyone who managed to hurt him. I was going to hunt down the person who laid a hand on my Adrian, and I was going to kill him.

I felt the magic flow through my body. My anger must've summoned it. I wasn't controlling myself anymore. I was breathing hard, and I was trembling, but I didn't care. All I knew is that I wanted revenge. I wanted to hurt the person that hurt Adrian.

What stopped me from doing God knows what with my magic were Adrian's arms. Suddenly, he was embracing me, pulling me to the bed with him.

"Calm down," Adrian said into my ear, making me shudder.

I shook my head. "They have to pay for hurting you," I said in a muffled voice.

Adrian kissed my cheek. I kept my eyes closed, focusing on my anger. "Let it go," he softly said and I shook my head once more. More magic flowed through my body. I thought I was going to explode.

"Please, Sydney," he whispered and in the next moment I was limp in his arms. And I was crying.

I didn't expect it, but his arms were strong and I was on the bed in a moment, on top of him, falling apart. My head was buried in his chest and I was trembling. How could someone hurt my Adrian, the boy that loved to see the sun? The boy that had the most beautiful smile in the world, the boy that was loyal to those he loved? The boy who would kill anyone who touched his loved ones and who'd sacrifice himself for people – and things – in which he believed?

Adrian pulled his fingers through my hair and it managed to calm me down a bit. He whispered soothing words in my ear and my anger fully disappeared.

After a minute, I calmed down a bit and wasn't crying that hard anymore. As soon as I lifted my head, Adrian wiped my tears with his thumbs and smiled at me.

My heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, I was aware that his chest was bare and that we were in a bed in the middle of the night.

"You okay?" Adrian asked and I nodded, smiling. I tried to shift closer to him, but he flinched and I shot up, removing myself from him.

"I'm sorry," I said, panicked. I was standing at the foot of the bed and his bare – and beautiful – chest was in my line of sight. It was bruised and I felt new tears sting at the backs of my eyes.

"Who did this, Adrian?" I tried to ask, but it came out as a desperate tone.

Adrian turned away from me. "Nobody," he silently said.

I felt angry again, but kept my magic at bay. "Oh no, you won't," I said loudly, "you are not going to lie to me, or say nothing like Jill did. You are going to turn around and tell me what happened and I swear to God, if you don't, you're going to beg me not to hurt you."

I was breathing hard, my hands balled into fists. I was tired of people lying to me, of people thinking I couldn't bear the truth, of people protecting me from it. Adrian was hurt and I was going to hurt the person that did it. Nobody, not even Adrian, was going to stop me.

Adrian slowly turned around, his green eyes even larger and greener in the dark. "Sage," he whispered, "It's not important. Some guys from LA that I owed some money showed up and I couldn't defend myself. It's over now."

"You owe money to someone?" I asked, incredulous. "You know you can use my money if you need to. You know that." I was hurt, and disappointed, and I couldn't believe in what Adrian was saying.

"I was a gambler before I met you," Adrian said, his eyes on the ceiling, "and I didn't want to spend your money on my gambling debts. "

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter, Adrian. I don't care for what you need the money – I'm not going to let you get hurt…"

Adrian cut me off. "It's done now. They did what they did, what happened, happened and you can't change it now. You shouldn't have come here. I'm okay. I didn't ask for your help."

I saw hurt flash in my own eyes, which were reflected in Adrian's. Something was wrong here. Adrian knew that he'd hurt me by saying that. But what he said seemed awfully believable.

"Okay," I said, turning around and picking up shreds of my wounded pride, "then I won't help."

In a moment, I was out of the bedroom, Lissa passing by me in a hurry, Christian's concerned face watching me from the doorway.

I sat in the back of the car, putting my head in my hands. What was going on? First I had to go through the shock of seeing Adrian like that and then he said he didn't ask for my help? Why was he pushing me away from him? What really happened?

I sat there, deep in thought, and a minute later Christian and Lissa both entered the car.

As Christian started the engine, there was just one name in my head. Just one name that could solve the whole situation.

Jill.

"You are going to tell me what happened right here and right now!" I said, feeling my voice rise.

Jill was sitting on her bed, gulping, her eyes wide and full of fear, while Angeline was silently watching from her bed with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm going to interfere only if you attack her physically, Sydney," she said and laid down, still looking at us quizzically.

"You might have to, if she doesn't answer me in the next three seconds," I said, my anger taking control of me once again.

Jill gulped. "But Sydney, put yourself in my place! He doesn't want you to know. How can I tell you his secrets if he doesn't want me to? It's betraying him! And he said he didn't need your help!"

I flinched. That hurt. Jill's face immediately softened. "I'm sorry, Sydney, that's not what I meant…" she started, but I cut her off.

"Just tell me, Jill," I said, desperation evident in my voice. "Just tell me who did it. I deserve that much."

Jill nodded. "Okay." She took a deep breath, looking me in the eyes.

But what she said was definitely not what I expected. "It was Marcus," Jill said, her expression honest.

That didn't make any sense.

"Marcus?" I asked, not believing I heard right. "Why would Marcus do that to Adrian?"

Jill looked away. "Adrian met him while he was buying his art supplies and they ended up fighting over you. And Marcus was obviously stronger than Adrian."

I should've been upset because they had a fight, because it was Marcus who attacked Adrian, because Adrian was hurt. But no. there was only one thought on my mind, while Jill kept talking.

Adrian lied to me.


	48. Chapter 10, part three: Apologize

**Author's note: **_Good evening to everyone! I'm very happy, if a little tired, today, but I hope I'll manage to write the chapter and the one-shot tonight. The next person in line is Bukwurm, and the rest (TheHappyLol, Totalbooknerd13 and Katrick currently, but please count the reviewers, since I can't!), please send me your requests._

_1.__** Alicella Ivashkov**__: It's going to get interesting. Thank you for reviewing and supporting me. :)_

_2. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Don't be frustrated! Thank you for reviewing and honoring me by including my ideas in your story. :)_

_3. __**TheHappyLol**__: That review was awesome! I laughed so hard. You'd like to put a duck on fire too? :D And tell me what you did, mad scientist popcorn girl! Yup, that about Christian and Sydney would be awesome. And yup, the next part is awesome. Thank you so much, and please send me your request! :)_

_4. __**ranDomXx**__: Thank you so much. I don't know if it'll be intense, but I hope you're right. :)_

_5. __**SoZina**__: You'll find out, don't worry. I'm glad you loved TMI movie, I hope I'll like it too when it comes out. I love your reviews, and thank you so much! :)_

_6. __**Crystal jaide**__: Hope the wait wasn't too long. Thank you so much, you're amazing too. :)_

_7. __**sheerio4ever**__: Good luck with school. A week left for me. And that list is so cute. That is wonderful. I'm glad you loved it, and thank you so much! :)_

_8. __**Bukwurm13**__: Get out of shock! This is nothing! :D And thanks, for everything. Your one-shot will be updated tonight or tomorrow, I promise. :)_

_9. __**Sam1405**__: By the description, it seems that smoothies are milk shakes (that's exactly how we call them)? Oh, if November was in a month that' be awesome :D You are crazy, my story means that much to you that you're willing to stay up until 5AM? I did that only once :O And your explainings are okay. Hope Jill didn't shock you too much :D Everyone will come together, but soon comes the part where they'll all be forced to be apart. :/ Thank you so much for that last review (and all others!), I don't know what to say. Thank you for being truly amazing, devoted, and thank you for understanding me and my way of thinking! Love you :)_

_10. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: You deserved that one-shot. You really did._

_11. __**MilankaLovesMetal**__: My crazy girl is back! Well, Lissa healed Adrian so only Sydney got shocked. You'll see about Marcus' motives. I love the phrase "love child"! :D Wait, you liked Marcus? I kind of do, too, but we have yet to see his sides through the story. And yes, Zoe did deserve that. I enjoyed writing it :D Understand Sydney, she is shocked and then she's being lied to by the person she loves the most! I loved the review. I loved every word of it. You are epic and… awesometasticazing? So thanks! :D_

_12. __**Katrick**__: We'll see about Marcus. Hope the wait wasn't too long. You rock too, thank you so much and love you too! :)_

_13. __**HopperIvashkinator**__: Ah, sis, reading your reviews is always refreshing. I laughed so much because Jill annoys you so much no matter what she does! Love you with all my heart. :)_

_My brother will want the laptop soon, so I'll try to write as fast and as long as possible. Not under 3k, though._

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead._

An hour later, I was back in my room, trying to survive the night. I was supposed to be sleeping, but I knew I wouldn't until at least 5 AM. With Zoe snoring a few meters away, I didn't even have much of a choice. That's why I decided to just lie down and look at the ceiling until my mind stopped torturing me by keeping the image of a beat-up Adrian in my eyes.

So many things changed within minutes. First of all, the thought that didn't even make me flinch was drugging Zoe. I easily explained to myself that it was necessary. If she woke up and I was gone, she would've asked questions. I wouldn't have had the answers and then it would've gotten nasty. I avoided it by assuring myself she wouldn't wake up, and that was it. No harm done.

The thought that did make me flinch was Jill's strong behavior. First she snapped at Zoe, then she didn't want to say that Marcus and Adrian had a fight, and when I saw him for myself she decided to tell me? Why didn't she just tell it in the first place?

It really made no sense. It wasn't _that_ scandalous. It was scandalous and awful and I would be mad at Adrian, but lying to me just made it worse. I simply couldn't understand why Jill acted this way about the fight.

There had to be something more, and I was upset because I didn't know why. Why did Marcus and Adrian have a fight? Did someone insult someone else? Yes, they weren't best friends or anything like that, but they didn't go around breaking each other's ribs either. Was Adrian jealous at Marcus? Was that why they had a fight? Or did Marcus intimidate him? I didn't know, and I didn't know what to expect. The worst thing was that I didn't know how to find out.

I was, obviously, upset by the fact that Adrian was in such a bad shape too. I knew Lissa fixed it and that he was all right now – at least physically, but I was still feeling like crying. Just seeing him like that, obviously in pain, but sleeping like a prince… It was heart-breaking.

My Adrian, my Adrian was hurt. Someone hurt my world, and I didn't know why. That's why I didn't seek out revenge yet – perhaps it really was Adrian's fault. That picture – Adrian, bloody and blue, hurt but sleeping, would haunt my nightmares forever, I knew. I wanted to kill myself for even letting something like this happen.

I was also upset by what happened in his bedroom. I was so angry. I was so angry because someone dared to even touch my Adrian, and my magic started to work. I felt a large amount of power surge through my whole body, and I didn't even care.

What would've happened if Adrian didn't manage to calm me down? Would the glass crack, would windows start shaking, would the door slam shut or something like that? That's what happened in movies all the time, right?

I had no idea. I had to talk with Ms. Terwilliger and the coven, and I had to do it as soon as possible. My power could easy swirl out of control.

The next thought on my mind were lies. I mean, believing Jill wasn't exactly the right thing to do since she already did it once. Why should I believe it was Marcus? Marcus had no reason to fight with Adrian. He wasn't a child, and I believed him. He proved his loyalty to me more than once. And even if they did fight, it surely was something extreme then. My relation with Marcus was a bit hard to explain. We never actually talked about our lives and the past and things we loved and hated and what we'd do if we could change the past, but the look in his eyes said he knew it all. I practically knew nothing about him, but I felt like I knew him for years.

I couldn't believe that Marcus did it for fun. But I couldn't believe Adrian did it for fun, either.

The last, and the most upsetting thing on my mind was the betrayal. I was with Adrian for almost two months now, and I told him everything about me. _Everything_. I told him what I was afraid of, why I acted how I did, what my dad did to me, I even told him about Keith. I told him all about how I felt. It seemed that he was letting his guard down after all, but hours ago he proved me wrong. He just showed me off, choosing to be alone in his pain.

Why? Why did Adrian refuse my help? Why was he so upset by me coming to his apartment? Shouldn't he have been happy that I cared, that I was willing to risk the whole mission, my whole career, for him? Why was he acting like this? What did I do wrong?

Was he afraid of me seeing his bruises? I mean, I was worried anyway. This just made me worry even more. Was he afraid of my reaction if he told me the truth? But that was silly. I wouldn't be mad at him if he told me he intimidated Marcus into a fight. Okay, I wouldn't be _that_ mad. But choosing to lie to me instead? What kind of a decision was that?

Adrian and Jill were hiding something from me, I knew. That was my final conclusion. And the only person that'd be willing to tell me the truth was Marcus.

Just as I started typing my message to Marcus as silently as I could, paranoid that I'd wake Zoe up, even though she had tons of Alchemist sleeping powder in her blood system, my phone buzzed.

I furrowed my eyebrows. How did Marcus know? It was destined – I'd meet him where he wanted and we'd talk about what happened with Adrian. And even though I shouldn't talk about it with him, it was the only way if I wanted the truth. Why? Because the persons I loved chose to lie to me.

It wasn't Marcus, after all. The message was far too sharp, cutting my heart in shreds, but making it beat faster in the same time.

_We need 2 talk._

Typical Adrian. I still didn't understand how writing "2" instead of "to" was easier, but I remembered Angeline's caps lock messages and decided that it wasn't too bad at all.

_Talk_, I simply answered. I mean, what should have I written instead? 'You lied to me and I'm upset so I want to meet Marcus now, knowing he'd tell me the truth?' Yeah, Adrian wouldn't freak out at all. He'd assign guardians to me.

_Can I call u? _ was Adrian's response. I gulped, and even though the angry part of me shouted not to send what I wrote, I did it anyway.

_Sure_, I answered and a moment later my phone buzzed.

I answered the call before it started ringing. It'd wake Zoe up.

"Sage," Adrian's low voice was on the other end. "You in that bathroom yet?"

"No," I whispered, "I'm on my bed. Zoe is sleeping." The anger was slowly dissolving and all that was left were the increased beats of my heart. I was so annoyed with myself and with the effect Adrian had on me.

"Isn't it dangerous?" Adrian asked and I could imagine the raised eyebrow on his face. It made me smile, just a bit.

I decided to be honest. Maybe he'd follow the example? "I put a sleeping powder in her coffee. She'll sleep until the morning. So yes, it's safe to talk," I whispered.

Adrian chuckled. "You drugged your sister? That's a new level even for you, Sage."

I rolled my eyes. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk," came Adrian's trembling voice. Was he as nervous as I was? It made me feel slightly better.

"Then talk," I said, swallowing and hoping he didn't notice how my voice broke.

"I'm sorry for treating you like that," Adrian said in a near-whisper. "I know it was hard for you, but I didn't want you to see me like that."

"Jill," I simply whispered. "She told you how I reacted when she told me the truth. Or what I assume is the truth."

I imagined Adrian nod. "Exactly. She told me you pursued her to tell you, and when she did, you went unfocused and trembled for minutes. She totally freaked out. What happened, Sage?"

I decided to avoid the subject. "How could you just tell me you didn't need my help? And even if you don't want me to see you like that, you should've just said so! Is it so hard?" Now I struggled to keep my voice as a whisper.

Adrian sighed. "Sage… I can't explain. Knowing you saw _that_…" he paused for a moment. "It's just wrong. No one should've seen me in that state, let alone my girlfriend. I would've healed myself tomorrow. I didn't have the strength, but if I knew you'd come in, I would've done it anyway."

I gasped. "Adrian…" I said, and sighed. "Don't think that way. I can handle that. You don't-"

Adrian cut me off. "Yeah, you handled it so well. You cried and the whole building almost exploded from your magic."

"I still can't explain what happened," I whispered softly, hoping he wouldn't hear. "I was just so angry because someone hurt you, and because you're such a wonderful person. And I lost control over myself. I'm sorry."

Adrian was silent for a moment, but when he answered I knew he heard me after all. "Don't apologize, Sage. I'm the one who needs to apologize. I hurt you with my words, telling you I didn't need your help when all I wanted was to curl up in your arms and fall asleep, breathing your scent in, hearing your heartbeat, warming myself with your warmth."

"I…" I started, and then stopped myself. I went for the honesty effect again. "I wanted that too. Why did you do it, Adrian? Why did you tell me to go away?"

Adrian was silent for a longer moment now. He took a deep breath. "I would've told you what really happened there, Sage, and I wanted to protect you from the truth."

"Tell me," I whispered fiercely. "Adrian, tell me."

I think it's the way I pronounced his name that broke him in the end. "Sydney, I…" he sighed. "I went to buy art supplies and followed Marcus when I saw him in the parking lot. I saw him with another Alchemist, and I heard him talk about collecting evidences for your involvement with me. they noticed me and there was no reasonable way out, so I fought with them."

I gasped. "That's impossible," I said, but Adrian was already continuing his story.

"I was stronger in the beginning, but there were two of them so they beat me up. Marcus did recognize me, but said nothing to the other guy. I don't know why, though. They could've taken me to a bunker somewhere and interrogated me. That's what I was expecting."

"There must be an explanation," I whispered, my head spinning. This was too much to take in for one evening. Marcus, a false betrayer? But why? "Someone is blackmailing him. Or forcing him to do it. He can't be…" Even though Adrian couldn't see me, I shook my head. "No," I said firmly. "It's not how it looks, Adrian."

"Sydney…" Adrian began softly.

I wasn't whispering anymore, but with all the stress one day brought to me, I couldn't bring myself to care. Wake up, Zoe! It's not as if this can be worse than it already is! "Don't you 'Sydney' me, Adrian! Marcus is not a betrayer and we both know it. You're just too blinded by the jealousy to see it."

"Sydney," Adrian said again, and I forced myself to listen this time. "I'm not jealous. Not at _Marcus_." He said it as if he was disgusted, but I didn't know why. "And I know it's hard for you, but please believe me. Just this one time. I have a feeling about him, and that feeling is never wrong."

I was getting angrier within seconds. 'A feeling?' Yeah, I had a very good idea what that 'feeling' was. "Yeah, right. We weren't fighting about me going to see him without you for days. And you weren't jealous despite my words. Not at all. And now you have a "feeling." Am I supposed to trust you?"

"No," Adrian said calmly. "Trust yourself. But _believe_ me. I know something about him that makes perfect sense in line with the betrayal and everything."

Where was he heading with this? "I'd certainly like to hear that argument you have," I whispered.

"Even if you killed me, I wouldn't say. I'm fairly certain you wouldn't be able to handle it." Adrian's voice was firm.

I gripped the phone in my hand tighter. "Guess we'll talk when I'm able to _handle_ something, by your judgment, then," I whispered bitterly and shut him off.

How dare he? How dare he call me to apologize and then do something even worse? How dare he judge if I'm able to handle something or not?

I was almost certain that he was bluffing, but the firmness of his voice and the disgust when I told him he was jealous told me otherwise.

What was going on? What was so disturbing that Adrian wanted to protect me from it?

And how was it possible for Marcus to be a real Alchemist, a part of the organization he taught me to hate?

I didn't believe in that. I believed in my feelings, and they told me Marcus was the good guy.

And because of that, I sent him a message. If Adrian wasn't going to tell me the truth, he was.


	49. Chapter 11, part one: Making Up

**Author's note: **_The only thing (except for hair color) that separates Sydney Sage from me is knowledge about cars. While she knows how obvious the difference between a 1984 and 1985 Mustang is, I wouldn't be able to distinct a truck from a car. Okay, I'm not that bad and I know how to change a tire, but that's basically all knowledge about cars I have (and I know signs for car dealerships). That's why I ask of you not to be too hard on me, since I'm going to give Sydney a new car in this chapter, and it will probably be a disaster._

_I'm not sure if Bukwurm13 saw, but I wrote the one-shot for her. Hope you like it! :)_

_1. __**TheHappyLol**__: Okay, I stabbed someone with a pen too, but in the arm and it didn't leave a mark :D And you go, girl, with throwing chairs at people! Thankfully, nobody even knows about Bloodlines at my school, except for my best friend and we're in love with Adrian together. Aawh, a cookie! Love ya, popcorn girl! Thank you for everything! :)_

_2. __**sheerio4ever**__: I won't be proud too much because you have homework. I'm not going to school yet, so I'm sad! :( Well, my name is Ehlimana but I always put a "y" on the username. It makes it readable for people that aren't from my country, I guess? Because people tend to pronounce my name with the short "I" and it's not how my name is pronounced. It's complicated, really :D Yay! You'll get your laptop back! I am exciteeeed! :D And I know the phrase. I told my family I'm writing something about some books here, but if they knew exactly what I'm doing, they'd just stare at me and ask me if I'm normal. I told only my brother and that's how he reacted. Thank you so much! :)_

_3. __**ranDomXx**__: Ah, she just wants the truth. But now we'll see what's going on with Adrian! Thank you for faithful reviewing. :)_

_4. __**Sam1405**__: That is so nice of you! You are crazy and I love you. You're amazing too. Thank you so much, Sam! :)_

_5. __**KeepCalmAndDream**__: Stalker! :D It's okay for not reviewing, the important fact is that you're back. I know I'm frustrating you, but hang on in there! And thanks for everything. :)_

_6. __**gg**__: Well hello there, new reviewer! I think half of you would die if I started updating as frequently as most of the writers. I hope you're still alive and not too frustrated! :D_

_7. __**Guest**__: I'm sorry for the cliffhangers, I don't do it on purpose… oh, who am I kidding, of course I'm doing it on purpose. But it makes the next chapter better! ;)_

_8. __**LenaTheLiar**__: Another new reviewer! I am a rich girl, so many people around me. Welcome to the reviewing crew :D I'm sorry for frustrating you (and I'm sorry to everyone else). Your kind words made me melt – thank you so much. Hope you didn't have to wait too long. :)_

_9. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: You wait until I finish with this chapter so that you can finally tell me your one-shot request! _

_10. __**KyKat**__: Well, let's be honest – Sydney wouldn't handle it well. She'd, and will freak out. Thanks for reviewing every chapter! :)_

_11. __**MilankaLovesMetal**__: This review made me laugh so much! Angry mode is okay, as long as it doesn't affect your health (I'm sounding like my mom now). Sorry for frustrating you, but it'll get better! But not soon. Lots of twists coming in further chapters. I think you're all going to kill me before I manage to finish :D Love you too, Milanka! And thanks for everything! :)_

_12. __**Katrick**__: Don't worry. They make up in this chapter. And about Marcus – hmmmm. You all seem to be doing exactly what I want you to. But not everything is how it seems. :D Thanks for always reviewing, and tell me your one-shot request, please! :)_

_13. __**Rebelde09**__: You described my life in that review! :D Except that I worry about family. Don't be frustrated, everything will be okay! :) And don't worry about one-shots either – you'll read them when you do! Hope you have a request too. Thank you so much for faithful and continuous reviewing! :D_

_14. __**HopperIvashkinator**__: Why are you always the last in line? Don't freak out, sis. Just read this chapter. Oh God, you told me I'm hot. How do I handle that? :D Love you too, sis, and I don't know about Sydney. I haven't yet decided about what to do about her. :D_

_You ready for Adrian?_

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead._

I was losing the grip on reality.

With every day, the world slowly faded more and more away. First I stopped noticing the weather. The next day I didn't notice Hopper and Lily were hungry. The next day I didn't notice my car was low on gas. The next day, I didn't notice when Rose was talking to me…

All I saw was Sydney. My angry, ignorant girlfriend to who I first lied, and then told her she wouldn't be able to handle the truth. I was positive that I'd be angry at myself, if only I had the energy to care.

But all of this was worth it. Telling Sydney she had a lost brother wasn't something I wanted to do. At least not yet. That's why I endured, why I sat at Clarence's house silently, watching her every move.

And the shadows were closing in on me. Lissa healed only greater wounds, so I had to heal myself, and it took a lot out of me. I was always in the dark… No, I wasn't always in the dark. I saw the light two times, when I came to Clarence's for a feeding.

She didn't even pause to look at me the first time, but her aura said otherwise. Her aura said that she missed me and that she was sorry, but that she was too proud to say so.

I never told her what really happened in that alley. My whole body, my whole being wanted to tell her what happened – she'd be proud of me. I, Adrian Ivashkov, broke Jared Sage's nose. Believe me, there was a lot of blood. And that rat, Marcus, he was so shocked that he just stood there, watching his own father bleed.

But he quickly got out of it when Jared commanded him to fight me. I was a Moroi, but he was stronger and I ended up on the floor.

What really didn't add up was the conversation the two had while I was in the dirt, half-conscious, bathing in my own blood.

"Who is this Moroi?" Jared asked his son in a very cold tone that reminded me of my own father. No wonder Sydney and I found each other – if I was forced to do whatever that jerk asked of me, I'd be messed up too.

"It's just a douchebag from LA," Marcus said, making me frown. Why didn't he say exactly who I was and confirm that Sydney and I were involved? I was Adrian Ivashkov, the compulsion guy, but explaining why I broke Sydney's father's nose out of nowhere would be impossible.

Jared spit on the ground. "Unholy creatures, attacking Alchemists," he said in disgust. "Leave him there," were the last words he said before they both disappeared.

There was something wrong, I was sure of it. What kind of a game was Marcus playing? He wanted to gain his father's trust, but in the same time he refused to do what he wanted when he finally got the chance. It really made no sense. Was he simply a coward, or did he want to have something to blackmail me with? Or was he playing a double game?

Whatever, I didn't want him near Sydney. Her brother or not, he was capable of hurting her and that was a risk I definitely wasn't going to take.

So with everything going on, I just snapped when Sydney just disappeared one day. She was under Neil's watch and he called me, saying that she went out of the campus with her car and that he couldn't follow her.

I know, asking Neil for anything was stupid, but Eddie was too busy protecting Jill and Angeline constantly had meetings with Trey (which, I noticed, never resulted in any real information), so I had no choice. He had his own room and he had the ability and the time, so I told him I'd do him a favor when the time came.

What could a British military old-fashioned guardian ask from me, anyway?

Freaking out lasted until I finally found her. I searched the whole Palm Springs and I just came to Amberwood when she just came through the main door.

I was furious. "Where were you?" I immediately yelled, standing up. I practically run to her, because she stopped talking – she was watching me with furrowed eyebrows.

After five days, someone finally said something. I just hoped our relationship still wasn't dead – one look at her aura told me so. There was a lot of want and love and confusion and relief and anger and loneliness in it.

I approached her, trying to ignore the frantic beating of my heart. I drank her in – her beautiful long hair, her beautiful brown eyes, her overall appearance.

I found myself mentally asking a rhetoric question: _How did you survive without her for so long, Adrian?_

"What do you care, Adrian?" Sydney carefully said, her aura contradicting the calm, cold Alchemist voice in which she was addressing me.

"I was looking for you for hours! You can' just disappear and then show up-"

Sydney cut me off, annoyance crossing her features. She was annoyed? Annoyed? "As much as I know, I'm able to leave the campus on my own. I can do whatever I want, and I don't see how that's your business."

I knew where this was heading. Because of what she said, I also knew where she was. "You went to see him," I said in a low voice. "Despite what I said, you went to see him."

Sydney was a wonderful actor. Apparent shock hit her features, but her aura remained the same and I knew she was lying. She had a meeting with Marcus, and I wasn't able to prevent it. Now he did God knows what to her. Did he reinforce the spells? Was Re-education already done?

"Of course I didn't," Sydney said calmly. "I was shopping, with Jill."

I shook my head, laughing humorlessly. "I didn't know you were a liar, Sage," I said venomously. "I never took you for that type. You know what was your best quality?"

Sydney was looking at me with a cold gaze, but her aura was on the brink of tears. My next words would hurt her, I knew, but I still said them. They were just out of me, without any chance of being stopped. "You were honest. No matter what, you always spoke the truth. Now you lost that too, Sage. Congratulations." I remained firm for another moment , seeing the hurt in her eyes. Then I turned around and left.

The next few hours were like hell. I couldn't understand how Sydney and I never fought while we were friends, when now we fought all the time. Was it something universal? Was it like this for everyone? Because if this was going to happen often, I was fairly certain I was going to end up in an asylum. Literally.

My apartment, a bottle of whiskey, a gramophone and spirit got me through those hours. I felt guilty for hurting Sydney – for the millionth time – and I felt lonely. I missed her. I missed her smell and I missed her smile and her rambling. I missed her presence – it made me brave, somehow. Without her, I felt useless and I knew it was the truth.

Day 5 almost ended, when my phone started ringing.

It said Jill. I was obviously drunker than I thought. "Yeah," I answered in a low voice, not caring about who it was anymore.

Thankfully, I was still far from being drunk. Jill's voice startled me. "Adrian," she said in an exasperated voice. "You just had to hurt her again, didn't you? She came to my room hours ago, and she was crying!"

"Huh?" I said, not knowing who she was talking about. Then realization hit me. "Oh my God," I said, hitting my forehead with my palm. "I'm so sorry, Jailbait."

"Why are you apologizing to me?" Jill asked and I realized that she was right. Probably because I wanted to, and I had no one else. Jill sighed. "You forget that I can hear your thoughts. Call her, Adrian."

"Not until she apologizes," I said firmly. "She lied to me today and I'm not going to get over it that easily."

Jill laughed, but nothing was funny. "First of all, you lied to her first and expected to be 'easily forgiven,' and second, she didn't lie. She really was with me."

"Don't protect her, Jailbait," I snapped. "I thought this was low even for you."

I could practically feel Jill's eyes rolling. "Thank you for trusting me, so much!" she said, faking a cheerful tone. "Yeah, Adrian, I'm lying to you because I hate you and because I'd seriously love it if you and Sydney broke up. I'd love to have you for myself."

I still wasn't giving up. "You are protecting her because you know I'll kill Marcus if I find out she was in the same area as him, and I don't know what I'll do to her, but it'll be far more painful than what I did today." Okay, where was this coming from? That wasn't what I wanted to say.

"The darkness," Jill said and I nodded.

"I guess you're right. I'm in no state to talk with Sydney now. It'll have to wait, perhaps a month, until she decides to give me a phone call."

"Adrian!" Jill squealed. "How can you act like that! Your relationship is hanging on a thin line, and you're deciding to let it go?"

I frowned. "Then what do you want me to do? Call her and say I'm sorry for believing she lied to me?"

"Exactly!" Jill squealed once again.

"In your dreams, Jailbait," I said and almost hung up.

"If you hang up, I'm going to kill you with my bare arms," she said in a low voice.

"You sound like Rose," I said, smiling. Imagining Jailbait as Rose really was hilarious. Jill, short, her hair dyed in brown, in a black uniform, a stake in her hand…

"Stop daydreaming," Jill said. "It's distracting."

I sighed. "Just tell me the truth, Jill," I said, knowing she knew it was the only fair thing. She couldn't accuse me of lying to Sydney – I had to do that. I had to protect her from what I knew. Yes, she was going to find out, but I'd prefer it to happen when she's with me, safe and away from her psycho father and coward brother.

"We really went to shopping today," Jill said softly. "Eddie was complaining so much. I think it was actually cute – he had to go into the stores with us to be able to guard me. When I tried things on, I'd just watch him react and I'd immediately know whether to buy it or not. I ended up buying everything I tried on."

I rolled my eyes. "Back to important things, lovebird," I said and Jill giggled. "So she wasn't with him?"

"No. She was with me." Jill's voice was firm and it was really hard to believe that she _wasn't_ saying the truth.

I simply gave up. "Okay. I'll call her now."

"I'll be watching," Jill said, and then, in a low voice, "Don't screw up. Tomorrow is her Zoe-free hour."

I nodded. "Thanks, Jailbait," was all I said and she hung up.

I took a deep breath. _You can do this, Adrian_, I told myself. _What's a little pride loss if you get Sydney in return?_

With those thoughts, I called her.

And In a second, I realized I dialed the wrong number.

"Zoe Sage speaking," the voice said.

I started to apologize and hang up, when she continued, in an uncertain voice, "Are you Jet?"

I raised an eyebrow. So I did call the right number, just not right enough. This was Sydney's normal cell phone, and I was obviously listed as Jet in it.

I loved Sydney.

In a low, masculine voice, I said, "Well, yes I am. Would you mind giving the phone to your sister, babe?" I knew this too well. Sage was a great actor, but I was even better.

Zoe giggled. "In a moment. Just a quick question first. Are you two…" she paused, then continued, "like, in a relationship or something?"

I raised an eyebrow. I had no idea what Sydney told to Zoe, but presenting myself as her _human_ boyfriend Jet wouldn't hurt. I cleared my throat. "Well, you could say so…"

Zoe squealed. "I knew it, I knew it! I knew she had a boyfriend!" Her voice became distant as she yelled, "Sydney! Get out of the bathroom! It's Jet!" I rolled my eyes. Her voice was normal once again as she said, "It's nice to meet you, Jet." And with a giggle, she handed the phone to Sydney.

I gulped, preparing myself for fury. "Jet?" she asked, confused.

"Sage," I started, "I really have to apologize for the way…"

Sydney cut me off. "Are you crazy? Calling me? Talking to my sister?" she said it in a near-whisper, probably because of Zoe. "Is everything okay, Adr- I mean, Jet?"

I chuckled. "No, everything's not okay, Sydney. I'm feeling guilty for doing – and saying – what I did, and I'm here, redempting myself somehow."

Sydney sighed. "Please wait a moment." Her voice also became distant. I wondered if I'd be able to hear it if I was a human. Probably not. "Zoe, I need privacy. Could you go get us coffee or something while I talk with Jet?"

"Did you guys have a fight or something?" I heard Zoe say. Sydney obviously gestured with her hands or something, because I didn't hear Zoe say anything else.

"Okay, Adrian, we're clear," she said after a moment. "Now, could you just remind me what are we even fighting about?"

It was my turn to sigh. "I don't want to tell you something about Marcus and that resulted in you becoming angry. I became paranoid in the last few days and thought that you were meeting him, when all you did was go shopping with Jill. And because of that I said nasty things and that made you cry." I said it all as one long sentence, every word taking more of my strength with it. Then I admitted defeat by saying one sentence, "I am truly sorry, Sydney. I hope you'll be able to forgive me for my behavior."

Sydney was silent for a few moments. Then she said something unexpected. "This is not what I thought it'd be like," she simply said.

She probably expected my answer, but when I said nothing, she continued. "I thought we'd be perfectly synchronized until I somehow got rid of Zoe. I never thought we'd fight, trying to protect each other, that we'd lie, trying not to hurt each other, and that we'd be silent for days in order not to fight even more and destroy what we have. I'm tired, Adrian. I'm tired of fighting with you, when none of us is going to abandon our opinions."

I nodded to myself. That was my girl – my honest girl. "I know this is just going to make it worse, but the reason I said you lied to me was your aura when you told you didn't meet with Marcus. It shifted the way it does when someone's lying. I was probably just imagining it, seeing things I wanted to see."

Sydney took a deep breath. "No. I wasn't lying, but I wasn't saying the whole truth either. I am going to meet Marcus. The day after tomorrow. I was thinking about it when you mentioned him. You didn't imagine it."

"Thanks for being honest," I said, also tired of fighting her. We could continue fighting tomorrow – I just wanted to talk to her now. "I missed you," I said, feeling slightly embarrassed of myself. Was I supposed to say something else, something more manly? Was this too honest?

But Sydney just laughed. "I missed you too," she said gently.

A stone fell from my chest. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked, feeling a grin start to form on my face.

"Earlier than you thought. I'm buying a car tomorrow. Be in Amberwood at 9 AM."

"Okay, Sage. Love you." I tried to sound casual, but I wasn't sure if I managed to do it.

"Love you too, Jet," she said and shut me off.

That night I slept like a baby, not having nightmares or seeing shadows. I couldn't go out in the sun, but I imagined this was how people felt. It was glorious – knowing my Sage wasn't mad at me anymore. The whiskey was safe, the bottle still full, and a new painting was born – it was a picture of Sydney, standing alone against an army. She really looked like a Greek goddess.

Tomorrow, at 9, I hoped I'd get a minute with Sydney alone, but the lost puppy Zoe was in the back before I could even say anything.

"I want to help choosing the car, Lord ivashkov," Zoe said when she caught me watching her in the rearview window.

I just nodded and kept the casual talk through the whole trip. Zoe seemed to be more at ease, not freezing when I asked her a question, but it was obvious she wasn't really happy either.

And when I finally pulled up in the car dealership's parking lot, Sydney and Zoe were out of the car even before I cut the engine off.

I got out of the car and gently tapped on the hood. "Remember how they screamed when they saw you first? Well, no other car here is like you, Ivashkinator. You can be sure of that." I laughed at myself for talking with cars, but Zoe and Sydney distracted me.

It was like an auction, except that they weren't saying prices but car characteristics.

Sydney was pointing at a brown car, and Zoe was pointing at a grey one. I identified the first one as Honda Accord and the second one as Toyota Avalon. Personally? I liked the first one more, but that was probably because it was Sydney's choice.

And even though I was a man, I practically had no idea what they were talking about. I just heard numbers. "1989," Sydney would say and Zoe would contradict with "1997." Sydney would say, "1.6," and Zoe would say, "3.0" and such. They were talking back and forth with those numbers and I'd rarely catch things such as "miles per hour" or "horse power," but they were using some kind of vocabulary I mostly didn't understand.

I was standing there awkwardly, silently watching the two girls fight with their knowledge, but I knew Sydney would win in the end. She always did.

"What do you think, Adrian? Is a bigger horse power better?" Sydney would occasionally say.

"Lord Ivashkov, tell Sydney that bigger speed is better!" Zoe would try.

My head started to hurt after only a minute of this, and I couldn't believe it when they started touching the cars and leaning on them, as if they were their pets. Sydney was looking at the Honda longingly, saying something about naming "her," and when Zoe asked her how did she know it was a girl, she said, "a woman just knows."

I had to roll my eyes at that. They kept throwing numbers at each other and it was impossible to keep track of what they were saying, so I went out, shaking my head, trying to clear the mist from my thoughts.

After maybe 15 minutes, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "We bought it," Sydney said cheerfuly.

"Which one?" I asked, turning around. Sydney just grinned, and I knew they bought the Honda.

"Does it have a name?" I asked carefully.

Sydney shook her head. "No, but we have to think of something inspiring, something that'll keep her ours. Something unique and special."

I just laughed, once again admiring her beauty. She looked at me after a moment, biting her lower lip. "We have a minute or two, until Zoe finishes the contract," she whispered.

I grinned. I didn't want to delay it – I just leaned down, tilted her head upwards and kissed her. In that kiss I tried to show her everything –my love, my concern, my anger, my redemption, my guilt, my everything. Sydney gently touched my cheek.

I pulled back after several moments. "Plan number fourteen. Go to the Himalayas and live as monks," I said.

Sydney laughed, putting her head on my chest, and she said, "Women aren't allowed at the Himalayas. The monks say they're a distraction."

I shushed her. "You're too smart for any of my plans," I said and any further protest Sydney might have expressed died on her lips, when they met mine once again.


	50. Chapter 11, part two: Power Of Love

**Author's note: **_Am I the only one who starts school next Monday?_

_A question. I don't know what you're expecting from Marcus in terms of his affection for Sydney (and I don't know if you're expecting anything?), so please share your opinions with me. It will affect this story and where it's headed very much, believe me. I need to know whether to go in The Mortal Instruments direction (that is kind of scary for me), to write it off to Adrian's jealousy/madness, or to just make it how it seems – a brotherly affection. This topic is kind of awkward for me, but you're the ones deciding! I already know where the story would be headed if I chose any of those things, I just don't know which to choose. TMI thing would be a nice twist, but it'd be weird. For the God's sake, I have a brother and we're, like, BFFF and all. I'm totally freaking out. _

_1. __**sheerio4ever**__: I'd be able to distinct a BMW from a Porsche, but not a lot more. I know how engines work and all of that, but I don't know exact information about cars. And my imagination is not good at that – I have no idea how the car will be called! Thanks for loving the one-shots. I have a list and you're on it! ;) Angeline is coming in chapter 12 and the whole Trengeline thing will be very important. Good luck with the classes! I love you too and I can't wait to have new chapters of your story for reading! :) Okay. HopperIvashkinator isn't my blood sister, but love and loyalty run deeper than blood! :D I'd be confuzzled too if I was you :P_

_2. __**TheHappyLol**__: Hmm. Your one-shot? Today? I'm not sure if I'll manage to do that, but I'll try. Latte is dead, and Ivashkinator is Adrian's car, so Sydney needs a new one! :D So, you ate popcorn again? It makes you write good reviews! ;D It's not short and I'm positive you're crazy for waiting me so late. Good luck with Spanish and school in general! And gimme that cookie :D_

_3. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: So glad you liked it! :)_

_4. __**ranDomXx**__: Oooh, that's a wonderful idea! I've kind of been thinking about it myself, but I have no idea where to put it! If I don't manage to fit it in the story, it'll be among one-shots for sure. Thank you :)_

_5. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: Plan 15 is definitely going to be put among the next few chapters. I like it too much. And that reaction is going to be… PRICELESS. Thanks for everything! :D_

_6. __**Guest**__: I was thinking of giving you that exact answer with an addition that Adrian saw only what he wanted to see. I'm not sure what to do – whether to make it a The Mortal Instruments thing, but I'd rather just keep it a mistake. Marcus is a very deep character anyway! Thank you for this review. :)_

_7. __**KyKat**__: Glad you liked it! I'm hoping to do the darkness thing now. I seriously am trying to do it and suffer along with Adrian. I know how much it means to you. That's why I hope you'll like this chapter. I know how it feels to be in the dark, so I hope I'll manage to do it. Thanks! :)_

_8. __**Holly**__: Well good morning there! Of course it's going to happen! That is the main event :D You want me to put that Jeddie thing in my one-shots? I could write it tomorrow, theoretically. I'm putting spirit dreams on hold until a tweets says so. From then on, I can't answer for what I might do :D The only problem might be that I've never actually been anywhere, so I'd probably get too many facts wrong, but. Imagination can do a lot of things :D Love ya, and thank you! :D_

_9. __**MilankaLovesMetal**__: I love long reviews. I haven't read yours yet, but I love it! You can have Adrian if you want :P Oooooh, I love that "might" idea! :D That's all I'll say. It's going to make you go crazy and angry, but I like it! And I'll say the same I said to Guest: Marcus is a very deep person. Everyone write him off as a blonde guitar guy, but I don't. But he's blonde. Ew. You are epic, Milanka! Love you, and thanks for this wonderful review! :)_

_10. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: I memorized your whole username! I'm feeling so proud of myself. And that is so awwh. I'm so glad for that. I love your reviews too and I hope you didn't have to wait too long? Because when I started writing the chapter, your review was newly posted. :)_

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead._

"Plan number fifteen," Sydney firmly said against my mouth, "move to Australia and become tour guides."

I rolled my eyes. Memorizing the number I said yesterday and saying the number after it was so nerdy. It was so like Sydney. But the whole point of our plans was randomly choosing numbers. I supposed everything in Sydney's life had an order.

"Am I supposed to contradict you?" I said, trying to shake off the distracting thoughts. My hands, that went under Sydney's shirt and touched her bare back, provided to be a good distraction. "Because I want to buy tickets for Australia right away."

Sydney just smiled and kissed me again. All reasonable – or in this case, unreasonable – thoughts dissolved from my mind.

Our usual make-out sessions were either on the floor, on the dining table, with Sydney's back pressed up the wall, on the couch or in my bedroom. We usually wouldn't make it that far, so we'd just move onto the couch.

Today was the dining table day. When Sydney pulled away after only a minute, I thought it was because she was uncomfortable. _Damn it_, the unreasonable part of me thought. _Just when my hands touched the bra clasp._

As if Sydney could hear my thoughts, she shook her head. "It's not that. I have news."

I was far too distracted by what her first sentence implied to even hear the second. Did she mean that she wouldn't mind if I finally got rid of that irritating bra?

"Adrian," Sydney said and I looked her in the eyes, shaking myself from the distracting thoughts once again. I expected to see exasperation in her expression, but no – all I saw on her face was concern.

I frowned. "I'm sorry. You're distracting me by being so beautiful." Thankfully, she actually bought that. My Sydney wasn't used to compliments, so she just blushed and turned away.

But, her aura still had concern in it. "You had me there for a second, Adrian," Sydney said, sighing in relief. "I thought spirit was bothering you."

I swallowed and smiled, hoping the smile didn't look too fake. I wouldn't admit that spirit was bothering me, and that it was far worse than what I ever experienced. But after all, it wasn't as bad as it was when I saved Jill. Nothing was ever as bad as that.

Sydney smiled back, unaware of my thoughts. I was feeling a bit moody, but I could handle that. As long as she didn't notice, I was okay. "Dad called," she said and the smiles disappeared from our faces. "He told me the trial was in three days, in Washington, and that both Zoe and I had to come or he'd personally make sure I…" she stopped herself, taking a deep breath.

My hands were clenched into fists. I was so, so glad I hit that bastard and broke his nose. I cursed myself from not doing something worse, something that would leave some kind of a scar.

"You're not going," I said and moved away, noticing Sydney was sitting on a dining table. I took her hand and led us to the couch.

Sydney frowned. "Adrian, I must go. I have to testify."

I shook my head. "You'll either tell the truth, or you won't go. You are not going to lie in his favor. End of story."

Sydney still didn't sit down, so she put her hands on her hips. "And who are you to stop me?"

I grinned. "I am your overly-protective boyfriend."

Sydney didn't smile back. "He is going to send me to Re-education, Adrian! Do you have any idea how's that going to happen? I'm not joking!"

I looked her in the eyes. "No. I don't know how it'll happen, but I suppose some ninjas will drug you and drag you away to some underground bunker and there they'll perform lobotomy on you."

I smiled when I saw Sydney's face. Those were exactly her thoughts. She just shook her head. "Someone is going to come for me when I don't expect it. I am going to disappear, and they will take me where they took Keith. And there they'll do something that'll scare me so much…" her next words came out as a whisper. "You didn't see him, Adrian. He said he'd do anything, _believe_ in anything, just to get out of there. And he didn't even like vampires. What would they do to me? And if dad gives the orders, what _will_ they do to me?"

I took her hands in mine and pulled her towards me until she was practically in my lap. There I put her cheeks in my hands, forcing her to look at me. "Listen to me now," I said firmly. "I am going to do everything I can to prevent ninjas from taking you. And if they do that, I will find you. I swear on God, Sydney, I'll find you."

I did believe in what I just said. I believed in my strength to turn over every single stone on this planet until I found her. I believed that I'd kill every single Alchemist if I had to, until they told me where they kept her. And they wouldn't even touch her – if they did, they'd sign their death sentences.

"Adrian," I heard as if from a distance. "You're scaring me."

I felt something in my hands – probably Sydney's cheeks, but she wasn't there. Nothing was there. I was alone, standing in the dark, with nothing to keep me in the real world. I caught a glimpse of aunt Tatiana's face and my stomach shifted.

I gasped. _You're not real_, I told myself. _They're just hallucinations, Adrian. Aunt Tatiana's dead._

"Adrian?" I heard Sydney say, but I couldn't see her. I shouted her name, asking her where she was, but I couldn't see anything.

My hands were burning. When I looked at them, there was something golden shining on them. I tried to wipe them on my trousers, but nothing happened. What was Sydney doing?

It still wasn't as bad as it was after Jill, though. "I'm going to try something Ms. T. showed me now, so don't freak out," Sydney freaked out.

Even in this state, I couldn't help but smile. Sydney was telling me not to freak out, but I was positive she was the one freaking out.

I caught a glimpse of another shadow. It was…

My mother. Daniella Ivashkov was standing in front of me, and she was literally just a shadow of the person I knew. There was no warmness, no kindness, no style, no life in the Daniella in front of me. She was an old black-and-white shadow in rags, her mouth half-open, as if she was trying to say something, but no sound came out.

_Don't freak out, Adrian_, I said to myself again, closing my eyes. _Your mom is alive. You're hallucinating._

Thankfully, when I opened my eyes again, I was alone. My hands were starting to hurt now, and a beautiful golden dust was spreading, making a spiral way through my arm. It tingled and hurt a little, but there was something beautiful about it, something that told me this dust wasn't going to hurt me.

And the dust… it reminded me of Sydney too much. It _felt_ like her, and as the dust and darkness both consumed me, I closed my eyes. My last thought was that if this was Sydney's magic, it was beautiful. I had no fear.

I slowly came to my senses again. My whole body hurt, but it didn't matter – I was too afraid of the darkness to be aware of anything else. I just thought, _if you open your eyes and you're still in the dark, you're gone, _Adrian.

I slowly opened my eyes and had to close them again – it was too bright for me to see. Thank God, the darkness was gone.

I felt a gentle hand on my cheek, touching it, making me feel safe. "Do you want me to turn off the lights?" a beautiful voice said.

No, the voice wasn't just beautiful. It was the most beautiful voice in the whole universe and beyond. I let myself go, enjoying the touch and feeling a smile come to my lips.

I was home.

The hand left me and I heard a short sound. A moment later, the hand was back on my face, making me feel calm again. "Okay, you can open your eyes," the voice said, making me shiver.

I slowly opened my eyes. At first, all I saw was light, but then it turned into another color.

Yellow. Springtime yellow, actually. Strange. My walls were painted into the same color.

I moved my gaze lower and caught a glimpse of the golden hair I adored.

"Hey," Sydney said as I finally looked down at her. She was smiling and her hand was still on my cheek, refusing to leave it.

I tried to move my hand, but found I was unable to. I frowned, looking down at it. It didn't look any different than before. "I can't move," I said and looked up at Sydney again.

She nodded and shifted into a higher gear. "Yes. My spell paralyzed you. Ms. Terwilliger gave me a charmed bracelet in case I needed to do this. In chase spirit was bothering you and I had to get your mind back here."

I blinked. What was she talking about? "What happened?" I tried, still thinking very slowly. I couldn't even remember half of the words Sydney said.

Sydney sighed, but understanding flashed in her eyes. "You were trapped in your own mind, or that's what Ms. Terwilliger thinks. We did some research on mind spells and this is the most… radical one."

I tried to nod, but found myself unable to. "Okay," I decided to say. "So what happened? I lost it…" I made a face. "I remember that we were talking about Re-education."

Sydney nodded. "You said you wouldn't let them take me, and then you just…" she paused, searching for a word. "Stopped. Went still. I wasn't even sure that you were breathing. And your eyes, they were… scary, Adrian."

"For how long?" I said, not knowing what to expect. It was somehow logical for me to go still when my mind left my body. Sydney claimed I was in my own mind, and I had no idea where I was. Was my mind really that dark?

"Just minutes. I didn't let you be 'mentally unconscious' for more than a minute. I called you, and you blinked the first time. I thought you snapped out of it, but…" she shook her head. "You didn't react. Not when I called, not when I waved a hand in front of you, not even when I pinched your arm." So that's why my hand hurt while I was in the dark.

My time in the darkness slowly faded, becoming a distant memory. The more I thought about it, the less I was able to remember. That's why I tried not to remember it, but my mother's face kept flashing in my mind.

"And then I remembered the spell," Sydney continued, unaware of my thoughts. "Ms. Terwilliger and I had a talk about you, your abilities and the bad effects magic had on you. She said you took magic from your own being, so channeling it into something took its tool on you. It would eventually trap you in your own mind, without a way of ever snapping out of it."

She paused, watching me with those big, concerned eyes while doing that. "So she told me the witches had a way of… restarting their systems. If those things ever happened, they could use a powerful spell on themselves or on other people, to bring their minds back."

"Where's the catch?" I said tiredly. I obviously slept for a while, and I was feeling so tired.

Sydney smiled. "There are two. First, you can't use this often – it'd eventually harm your body. You can do it once or twice, in cases of extreme need, but not more. It paralyses you for a period of time, and makes you feel exhausted, since your body had a shock, but your body will recover eventually."

"And the other one?" I asked, distracted by Sydney's hand on my cheek. I wasn't sure if she knew what effect that touch had on me. It was so intimate, so… familiar, so calming. It made me feel like a 5-year-old boy who was scared of monsters, being soothed by his mom.

And Sydney looked so concerned, and she tried so hard to hide it, that it was actually really cute.

"The other bad thing is that it takes a part of the caster's being too. In this case, it's me. The spell took a lot out of me, but I managed to stay conscious and put you into bed."

I couldn't see, but I could feel the soft sheets underneath me. My best guess was that Sydney teleported me in the bedroom somehow, using her magic, but I didn't want to question it. Honestly, I didn't have the strength. "Are you okay?" I asked, concerned. Did she collapse? Did she eat something afterwards? And what exactly did she mean by 'it takes a part of the caster's being?'

Sydney nodded, offering a smile. "Yes. I took a sandwich and some water. My question is, are you okay?"

I smiled, and it was an honest smile. I wanted to say I was okay, that I didn't even feel the darkness anymore, that I felt free and safe and happy, but all that came out was, "It was beautiful."

Sydney frowned. "The darkness?"

I tried – and failed – to shake my head. "No. The darkness was… dark. But the magic, I didn't just feel it. I saw it."

Sydney looked taken back by that. "You saw _magic_? But how is that possible?"

My grin widened. I knew I'd never forget what I saw in that moment, the golden spirals around me, consuming me, wrapping around me, claiming me. I dared to think that this part of Sydney – her magic, her being – was the most beautiful part of her.

I tried to explain it to her. "It was dark, and then I felt pain in my hands. When I looked at them, they were golden. And the golden dust, it was shiny and made me feel like… like I feel when I'm around you. It spread, spiraling around my arms and enveloping my whole body. I should've been terrified, but somehow I knew it was you, and I just let myself go."

Sydney was looking at me with widened eyes, and when I finished, she gasped and put her hands on her mouth. "You think my magic is… beautiful?" she whispered.

"Of course," I whispered back. "It's the most important, the most honest part of you. How could it be anything else?"

Sydney's eyes widened even more, and she just kissed my cheek.

I remembered something and frowned. "Aren't you supposed to be at school now? How long was I out?"

Sydney didn't flinch, though I expected her to. "I called Zoe and told her I was with my boyfriend Jet. She was enthusiastic."

"What?" I asked, incredulous. "You told her you had a boyfriend?"

Sydney pulled back, smiling. "Well, actually, I did. You have a problem with that?"

I tried – and failed – to raise an eyebrow. This paralyzed thing was starting to unnerve me. I wanted to kiss Sydney, I wanted to pull her into an embrace and soothe her. And I wanted to tell her what I saw in the darkness, and how only her magic managed to calm me.

"I don't, as long as he doesn't become a real person," I said, smirking.

"I know a good candidate," Sydney whispered in my ear. "His name is Adrian Ivashkov."

In a moment, his lips her on mine, and she was fully in control. The only part of me that moved were my lips, so I didn't exactly have a choice. I just endured her gentle kisses, wanting and needing so much more. She sensed that she was tormenting me and smiled against my mouth.

"You're still tired," she said and moved away.

"And you're still not fair," I said and closed my eyes, pouting.

Sydney laughed. "You scared me so much, Adrian," she said suddenly. "If you didn't wake up… I don't know what I would've done. You understand that we need to find Inez as fast as possible, right? I searched through every single spell book in USA and this was the most powerful spell. I don't know how to help with the darkness, Adrian." The way she said my name – pleading, as if she was desperate, made me open my eyes again.

"Okay," I simply said, giving up. What would meeting a witch hurt? And Sydney wanted to do it so much. It meant so much to her, so it was for the best to just let her have her way. Even though I had no hopes that lady was going to help me, and both of us.

"I need you to promise me something," Sydney whispered, getting close to me again. "Please, Adrian. Just promise me."

I swallowed, narrowing my eyes. "What?" I said carefully, not sure where she was heading with this.

"Promise me you'll take the pills," Sydney whispered, her lips on my cheek. "Just until we meet with Inez. Just until then."

I gulped. "You know why I don't want to," I whispered back. I understood what she wanted and why she wanted it, but she had to understand me too. I experimented with things – silver reduced side effects, it was the easiest to charm, and it had a positive effect on me even if it wasn't charmed. Healing myself physically was a good thing while I used my vices to keep the darkness away, but I couldn't heal my mind, so that ability fell off.

Jill was a good channel for the darkness, but transferring my madness to a 15-year-old wasn't a very good decision. It filled me with guilt. Sydney wanted to have her way with magic, and I was going to let her, but I wasn't expecting much out of it. I knew that silver was the key – I just didn't know how yet. I needed more time.

"I was practicing telekinesis," Sydney said. "I was practicing with shields too. No one will hurt me. I will take care of us. I'm also a magic user, and I can keep us all safe. You just need to trust me, Adrian."

She moved so that she was looking me in the eyes. They were full of hope, of trust and love that I didn't know how to turn her down. I hurt her too many times in such a short period of time. I really didn't want to do it anyway. "But what if something does happen, Sydney? What if I have to live with guilt my whole life? And Lissa said that she missed the magic. Not being able to see auras, to heal things and people, to compel, to feel the magic in me… I don't know if I can bear it."

"Just try," Sydney said, closing her eyes. "Try for me. And trust me. I'll keep us safe." I wasn't sure who she was reassuring – me or herself, but it didn't matter anymore.

I loved her too much to push her away once again. And we were a team – a lot of trust and patience was supposed to be involved in this relationship. We were supposed to do things, decide things together.

For the first time in my life, I let go of my pride. That's how much I loved her. "Okay," I whispered. "I'll do it."

Sydney leaned back, furrowing her eyebrows. "You will?" she whispered.

"I will," I said, even though I wanted to just raise an eyebrow.

Sydney smiled and kissed me again. Between kisses, she kept saying, "Thank you, thank you so much."

I chuckled. "What it takes to make a girl happy."

Sydney moved away from me once again. She retrieved something from her purse.

The pills. Anti-depressants, looking at me mockingly from her hands. She opened the package and took two pills out. She looked at me carefully, noticing how afraid I was.

She came closer. "It's okay," she said gently, touching my cheek again. "I'm here. I won't let you go."

With her there, it was so easy to believe that. "Okay," I simply whispered and closed my eyes as I drank the pills.

The only thing that now separated me from humans was my dependence on blood. That thought actually made me feel easier.

But who was I without my magic?

Only when Sydney answered, I realized I said it out loud. "You are Adrian Ivashkov, the loyal, loving, caring, powerful man. And you are my boyfriend, and so much more."

As I felt the magic drift away from me and my hands started moving again, I thought that while I had my Sage, my flame in the dark, that might just actually prove to be the truth.


	51. Chapter 11, part three: Plans

**Author's note:**_ Okay, this is cruel. Totalbooknerd13 is the 500__th__ reviewer, but she and sheerio4ever and TheHappyLol (they're around 500) already are on the list. That's why I'm giving the one-shot to __**mroscar**__, 502__nd__ reviewer. And if __**Katrick **__writes another review without telling me her request, I'm going to… I don't know, do something. Please, write your request in a review or in a PM and I'll gladly put you on the list. If anyone else has requests, feel free to tell me! :D_

_Without any further delay, the list._

_1. __**Guest**__: We were a little impatient yesterday, weren't we? Anyway, while I'm flustered by this, I can't help but wonder what would happen if I skipped an update? Anyway, thanks for the review! :)_

_2. __**TheHappyLol**__: I agree. Rest in peace, Latte. No one can replace you in our hearts. And don't cry! It makes me sad, knowing you're sad :( Thanks for the review, popcorn girl. Love you so much._

_3. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: So glad you liked it! Thank you so much. :)_

_4. __**sheerio4ever**__: I can't believe it, actually! I don't understand how I have so many reviews :D There's nothing wrong with blondes, but I'm not one! And yeah, blondes are usually a bit… that. But you're not, that much is evident from our conversations! You've got to have some brown genes in you :D Yay! Can't wait until Saturday! :D I'll tell you a secret – I just checked and you're not four, but 2 (I did the other two and today I'll write number three). That means you'll get your one-shot tomorrow. Excited? :) Thank you for supporting me, it means so much! Love you :D_

_5. __**mroscar**__: A new reviewer! AND you immediately got your one-shot! Isn't that a nice, warm welcome? :) Thanks for saying all of that to me. :)_

_6. __**ranDomXx**__: Standard support. We all wish Adrian was real… Sigh. Hope we find our Adrians someday! Love ya, and thank you! :)_

_7. __**iheartfillintheblank**__: Oooh, I love plan 32. Can you imagine Adrian, trying to make a pizza? :D I'm glad you love the details, out of 100k words they take up 90k! :D Adrian describing how he feels without his magic is in this chapter, and then we'll shift to Sydney again. I'm trying to write faster (to actually finish this until November), but what'll happen in the next chapters will take up so much space… And the school is starting… The pressure is rising. :D Thank you, thank you, for everything! Love you! :)_

_8. __**damonforever86**__: Yay! Reading further! I'm so glad. Abe is actually showing up in this chapter, and I also can't wait to hear your opinion on next chapters! Thank you so much :)_

_9. __**Katrick**__: Again? I rock? I'm blushing. And how many thousand times do I have to ask you for that one-shot request? You're out of this world :P Thanks! :)_

_10. __**Sam1405**__: Yay! I'm glad I made your day better! :D Hope this chapter cleared everything out. I think that the death threat will be in the next chapter, but I'm trying to connect dots. There are just too many situations to follow in this moment. Thank you so much, and love you! :)_

_11. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: I did memorize it! :D It'd definitely be one way. I'm very confused, not sure what to do, but we still have time before I do that developing. I'd keep it on the brother-sister level, though. I have a lot of experience in that department :D Love you and thanks for your wonderful support! :D _

_Guys, thank you. Thank you, thank you and thank you again. My sister __**HopperIvashkinator**__ didn't read the new chapter yet, but she'll squeal and cry and what not when she sees Adrian suffering! I love you all and don't hesitate to write what you think. It's crazy – around 4k users, 20k views, and 10 reviews per chapter. But I'm not complaining, I'm still too shocked! 508 reviews? When did that happen? :O_

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead._

I didn't sleep that night.

Sydney left shortly after I took the pills. I was able to move again and I technically didn't need her help anymore. She looked as tired as I felt and I resisted the urge to just let her doze off in my arms.

It wouldn't solve anything, I knew. It'd just bring more problems. We were almost caught far too many times and if Zoe realized what was going on, we were dead. Sydney would be taken away, they'd play with her mind and I wouldn't be able to protect her.

Not that I was able to protect her any more now. I pulled my fingers through her hair, feeling safe and warm, thinking about the actual magical bond we forged. Sydney took a part of herself and poured it at me – it made me feel different, as if I was dreaming and I slowly woke up.

But in the same time, I felt like I was losing myself. I was too numb, too weak, too tired to feel anything. And I knew I was just scared to stay in my apartment without her, without my only strength. I was scared of the shadows, but I was scared of not seeing them too, and Sydney was the only balancing point I knew.

Somehow, I managed to convince her to leave. She kept asking me how I felt, looking at me with her knowing, golden eyes, full of concern. I felt like a child whenever she looked into my eyes, hoping – and dreading – she could see how I felt and what my thoughts were.

And she left me, kissing me passionately, whispering loving words into my ear and offering a honest smile. It was supposed to get me through the night.

I felt so tired, but I couldn't fall asleep. I kept tossing and turning in bed, and after a while I gave up. Then I just lay there, looking at the yellow ceiling, wondering if I was going crazy even without my magic.

I ignored the hollowness in my chest at first. It grew, and when I asked myself what it was, I realized it was the magic, the magic that faded away somewhere. Somewhere where I couldn't reach it.

I sighed and put my hand over my eyes. I missed the rush of magic, the familiar feeling of being whole, of being worth something, of actually being able to help. Without it, I was useless.

But I remembered I was enduring this for Sydney. I was doing a wonderful job at it, actually. A few hours and I was already going crazy.

Hopper snuggled in the crook of my arm later. I finally managed to touch him, to react to him like a human being – I always felt magic in him. My arms would always tingle when he touched me.

Now nothing happened. He was just a fragile little living being, his chest slowly rising and falling, calming me down. Not being alone was better than nothing.

I almost dozed off when I felt something on my neck. I heard something breathing, and I immediately smiled, knowing it was Lily.

Somehow, I fell asleep. The dragons managed to calm me, to make me forget all about magic and remember how beautiful receiving magic was.

I woke up to a gentle shriek. I groaned, rolling away from the sound, but it didn't stop.

Something bit my ear.

"Ouch!" I said as I shot up, touching the wounded place. I caught Lily in my palm and gently put her down. She was giggling.

I rolled my eyes. "You'll get your breakfast, you crazy little dragon," I said. "Just let me heal myself first. You have teeth, you know."

I put my finger over the place and summoned the magic.

Nothing happened.

I frowned, trying to do it again. But I didn't feel the rush, the tingling sensation, nothing. And when I looked at my hand, it was bloody.

The magic was really gone. I felt empty, too empty. I felt as if something was taken from me. I missed that part so much.

I sighed, trying to snap out of it. _It's for your good,_ I told myself. _You don't feel the darkness anymore, and Sydney is happy. Now get yourself moving._

And the reasonable part of me was right – there was no darkness. I didn't even remember a time when darkness wasn't there, lurking at the very center of me, at the edges of my mind, threatening to pull me under the surface. I felt lighter somehow, wondering if that's how people usually felt.

They had no idea how lucky they were.

I was finishing breakfast when my phone started ringing. I grinned, hoping it was nurse Sage, checking on me.

I wasn't that lucky. The caller was Rose. "Where are you?" she screamed in that irritating high-pitched voice all girls used when they were angry. "We've been waiting for you whole morning!"

I checked the time – it was 10 AM. I shook my head, realizing that Rose's and my definitions of 'morning' were probably a lot different. It was, like, _dawn_ for me or something. "Well, good morning to you too, Rose," I simply said. "What are you talking about?"

Rose snorted. "The old man is here. He wants to have a word with you. I thought someone informed you."

The old man? Was she referring to… "Abe?" I asked in disbelief. "What's he doing here?"

"Obviously the whole Moroi world wants to be a part of this mission," Rose said in a loud voice, and then she whispered, "But I think he's actually just keeping an eye on Dimitri and me. He's still not over the fact that we were together while he was my teacher."

I could feel her roll her eyes. I chuckled. "The old man hasn't changed, that's for sure. Believe me, you don't want to know about the speech he gave me when we were dating."

Rose laughed. "Dimitri told me. It was probably worse for him, seeing how he's 20 years older than me and everything, but I can imagine."

I grinned. "Okay, Rose. I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

Rose cheerfully said, "You know the shocking news?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, telling the first thing that was on my mind. "If it's about Angeline, it's not shocking. I'm prepared for everything."

Rose giggled. "No." She whispered her next words. "It's about Sydney."

I stopped breathing. My heart started beating faster. All I could think about was – _God, please just don't make her tell me Sydney collapsed from the spell and that's she's in hospital now. And please, don't make her tell me she knows about us._ Both thoughts were equally frightening,

I swallowed. "Yeah?" I said carefully, trying to control my voice.

If Rose noticed, she didn't say anything. "It seems that she has a boyfriend," she whispered and then started giggling like crazy.

I swallowed again. Oh no. This was it. But her voice was conversational, not bitter or cold. It was… mocking. If she knew about us, it was impossible that this was her reaction. This had to be something else.

If she knew about us, we'd both be dead by now. That much I knew for sure. "Impossible," I simply said, trying to act like this was indeed a shocking thing. "I know her too well. If she had a boyfriend, she would've told me."

Rose giggled again. "She told Zoe about him yesterday. And she was actually _with_ him, the whole day. She came back in the evening, and she was looking very tired." Rose giggled again, and I couldn't help but smirk. If only she knew. "Looks like our girl's finally doing it."

I rolled my eyes. "What's his name?" I simply said, wondering what Sydney told them. She was crazy, and I loved her.

Rose started speaking very fast. "Zoe says his name is Jet, and that his hair is jet-black," she said and started giggling again. Women. "I mean, what kind of a name is Jet?" she said and burst out laughing.

I was already starting the engine, attempting not to laugh myself. Poor Sydney. They must've given her a hard night – and a hard morning, judging by Rose's reactions.

"She said he's a basketball player, being tall and all," Rose continued. "I don't mean it as an offence, but how did she get a basketball player? She's a nerd, and he's the popular guy. She says he goes to Carlton, you might know him. And I don't believe her, but she says he's _not_ wearing glasses."

I started laughing at that point. "I know the guy," I said through a laugh. "I saw him a few times. Seems like a dangerous guy, and all. And he's not wearing glasses."

Rose dramatically gasped. "How did she do it? It's because she's so skinny, I swear. Basketball players go for that kind of thing."

I chuckled. "No, I don't think it's that, Rose," I said and shut her off.

My ex or not, Rose did manage to lighten the mood. I was already half way to Clarence's, shaking my head and laughing. Sydney and I were so deep in this, lying so expertly and so… dumbly, that if anyone knew about us, he'd just burst out laughing.

I mean, Jet? Okay, that was my secret name, but Sydney and Jet? _Jet_? A basketball player?

I shook my head once again. They had no idea. If they had, they'd kill themselves. After they killed us, of course.

Jill and Eddie were waiting for me in the doorway, and Jill smiled knowingly when she caught my gaze.

I smiled back, turned the engine off and got out of the car. Sydney's car was beside mine, and it did look kind of cool. I wondered if it was named yet.

Eddie touched my shoulder gently. "She wanted to see you," he said, looking at Jill. It was harder to read his emotions, now that I didn't have the ability anymore, so I just swallowed and turned to Jill.

"Hey there, Jailbait," I said as I pulled her into a hug. She wasn't smiling anymore.

She whispered into my neck, "It'll be okay. You'll get used to it."

It just made me feel more miserable, but I pushed the thought away. "I know," I said, letting her go.

When she pulled away, I saw that her eyes were shining with tears. I noticed that Eddie was looking at us, his guardian mask on, but I trusted him so I didn't tell him to go away.

"Jill," I whispered, touching her cheek with my hand, "Don't be upset. I'm feeling better now."

She was shaking her head. "If only you…" she took a deep breath and sniffed, several tears falling down her cheeks, "if only you gave me the darkness. You deserve at least that much. I owe you at least that much, because you saved me. You didn't ask for any of this."

I gasped. She thought that way? She was crazy. "You didn't ask for any of this neither," I gently said. "And Jill, I won't burden you with my problems. You didn't ask me to save you. You don't owe me anything, and you know that."

Jill just pulled me towards her and sobbed against my chest. "It's okay," I murmured in her chest, while she kept saying, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I looked at Eddie. His mask was gone – it was replaced by a horrified, worried, gentle look. He caught me watching and blushed, but I simply nodded and released Jill.

I turned her over to Eddie. "Calm down, Jailbait. Eddie will take care of you."

Eddie flinched at my usage of his name, since I always called him 'Castile,' but otherwise just nodded and put his arm around Jill's waist, turning away to go somewhere.

I felt better, knowing Jill was safe. And she was a crazy girl, thinking she owed me something for saving her. She had no idea how good that decision proved to be. And it was my decision, after all. She had nothing to do with it.

Shaking those thoughts away, I entered the living room.

Inside, Zoe, Angeline and Rose were arguing over something, standing in the center of the room. Zoe kept pointing at Angeline, while Rose kept her hands on her hips, balled in fists. Angeline was looking enraged. Christian was standing near Rose, rolling his eyes, while Neil was near Zoe, touching her shoulder gently. It didn't seem to have any effect on her. All guardians were in their black assembles, while Zoe was in a brown pair of trousers and a beige shirt.

Dimitri, Lissa and the whole guardian assemble were nowhere to be seen, and I was a bit thankful for that. The room was already small, and with a dozen guardians, it'd be impossible to breathe.

What interested me was the scene unfolding on the couch – the man in a green suit, his back turned to me - obviously Abe, was saying something to Sydney, and she was listening intently, nodding. The way she was looking at him, a mix of respect and fear, managed to surprise me. she wasn't looking tired at all, if a little flushed, and in her grey shirt, she looked beautiful.

I grinned when I saw the necklace she was wearing – it was the cross I gave to her. I was glad that it meant so much to her; she kept touching it with her fingers, saying something to Abe.

I tuned in to their conversation. "…careful with him," Abe was saying in a pleasant tone. I had no idea how much I missed the old man and his craziness until he showed up. I mean, he was the ultimate vampire mobster, but narcissistic persons loved each other.

Sydney nodded again. "I understand, Ibrahim," she said gently. "You understand that what I just said needs to be kept secret, because it could cause a lot of problems with the Alchemists…"

She trailed off, looking up and seeing me. My hands were in my pockets and I was looking as ordinary as ever – I styled my hair to look messy, the self-satisfied smirk was there, the emerald shirt she loved so much and the black trousers.

Sydney smiled at me, and Abe turned around. I smiled back. The whole world faded away and while I knew I stood firmly on the ground, it looked to me as if my head was spinning.

I realized I fell in love with her, again, and I saw a very happy look in her eyes. I knew I made the right decision, not turning her down on her offer with the anti-depressants. If it'd make her happy, I'd jump from a skyscraper for her. I'd do anything, to bring that honest smile on her face.

"Well, it's so wonderful of you to join us," Abe said as he stood up. "We have a lot of catching up to do, young man."

I grinned at him. "Can't wait to hear about the black market," I said and Abe winked.

He turned back to Sydney. "Young Sydney, thank you for sharing that information with me. it will remain secret, I assure you of that."

And then he actually pulled her up into an embrace. Thankfully, Zoe was too caught up to notice that her sister was hugging the vampire mafia godfather, and Sydney was too stunned to pull away. She just closed her eyes and sank into the embrace.

"And I am indeed sorry for frightening you that day," he murmured in his pleasant voice. "It was more of a joke, and I wasn't planning on you overreacting."

Sydney pulled away, but she was smiling. "It is okay, Zmey. Now go talk to Adrian."

I smiled at Sydney once again as Abe stood up to face me. Underneath the green suit jacket was a white shirt and a dark-green scarf. He did look ridiculous, but not in a mocking way – it all just added to his authority and mysteriousness.

He tugged at my arm and moved us from the living room, through the empty hallway and out, into the garden.

The sun was shining brightly, so we settled underneath a tree. It was winter, but we were in Palm Springs, after all.

"Adrian," Abe said and grinned at me, "I must say that I am very pleased with what you've done here."

I raised an eyebrow, waning to ask him what exactly he was referring to, but he continued before I got the chance. "And I am quite displeased because you didn't notify me about it."

"About what, exactly?" I said, gulping.

"Any of it," he said coldly. "I was counting on the fact that Sydney would start doubting the Alchemists if she got close to you, and I was right."

I simply nodded. Abe continued, starting to walk through the garden. Regardless of the sun, I followed. "But I wasn't counting that you'd be _romantically_ involved," he said, shaking his head. "I didn't know Sydney had it in her. But, considering her mother, I kind of can believe it."

I chuckled. "She is quite surprising," I agreed.

Abe nodded and looked at me. "I'm very glad that you're over what Rose did to you. As I said before, making you come here with Jill was a very smart thing to do. I see that you've done something with your life. You're not drinking or smoking anymore, Sydney mentioned art classes, Jill is getting used to being bonded with you…"

He nodded again. "I am quite proud, I must admit." I was taken aback by this – Abe, Rose's father, was proud of me. He actually cared about what I did with my life. My own father, Nathan Ivashkov, had no idea where or with who I was, and he didn't care. Of course, all he cared about was himself. Still, I was surprised with Abe's words.

"Thanks," was all I could say.

Abe just grinned at me. "Sydney also told me of… the encounter you two had. I was quite surprised, and pleased with it. That's the primary reason I came here at all."

I furroned my eyebrows. "The encounter?" I echoed, not knowing what he was talking about.

Abe's grin widened. "Don't be shy about it. We all did it with someone we loved, at least once."

Realization hit me and I was certain that I, Adrian Ivashkov, blushed. I really felt as if I was talking with my father now. After all, Abe was a Moroi – he could understand me. "I did it twice," I said in a quiet voice, turning away from him. "I bit her twice. And if you ask me, I'd do it a hundred times more, but I swore not to do it ever again."

Abe narrowed his eyes, walking so that he was in front of me again. "So she didn't react well to it, but it wasn't foul?"

I forced myself to meet Abe's gaze. "She did react well to it, in a way. The process itself was very… wonderful for her, but she kept feeling like a feeder or a…" I gulped, not able to say the word.

"A bloodwhore," Abe said and nodded. "I know. Rose told me what happened. That was a wonderful diversion. Rose is rational - she is my daughter, after all. But she tends to react like her mother to strange things – impulsive and instinctive."

I smirked. "Believe me, I know," I simply said.

Abe looked at me with a knowing gaze. "So our Sydney enjoyed it. I am quite glad to hear that. I'd ask you if she was still a virgin, but that'd perhaps be a bit prying…"

I raised both eyebrows. "Definitely."

Abe just grinned and winked at me. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. "What I need to know is how her blood tasted."

I took a deep breath. "Look, Abe," I started, "it was unlike anything I've ever tasted. I could feel spirit in it, but since I'm a spirit user, it didn't taste foul to me. If I was a regular Moroi, I'm positive that it'd be repulsive. There is magic in her blood, but please don't pursue it further. She gets uncomfortable when people say she's special. And she is, but I'm not going to let you strap her to a table and experiment on her."

Abe didn't flinch. His only reaction was a blink. "I wasn't planning on doing anything so… despicable," he said with disgust. "I just wanted to take a sample – with _a vial_," he said with an emphasis when he saw the look on my face, "and send it to Moroi labs for research. Her blood is the key for Strigoi, I know it. I just need to find the spirit component and multiply it."

I nodded. "If she agrees, I agree to that too." I hesitated. "Abe, do you think it had anything with the fact that she's a magic user? I talked with Jackie and she told me Sydney's the most talented witch she's ever seen, capable of many things, but that her potential is hidden beneath years of suffering and mental torture."

"I also talked with Jackie," Abe said, his voice and expression serious. "While she told me that blood of witches is repulsive to Strigoi, she also told me that Strigoi are able to drink their blood, but with quite an effort. It definitely has something to do with something else, since I tried her blood and it wasn't repulsive to me."

I looked at him in shock. "You… tried Jackie's blood?"

Abe grinned, looking up at the sky. "It was quite a while ago, but I remember as if it happened yesterday," he started and I rolled my eyes.

I interrupted, knowing he was going to launch into some fake story in which he killed thousands of Strigoi and saved a witch. "Could it be tied to the Alchemist tattoo?" I asked.

Abe shook his head. "No. There are Alchemists that were drained. Maybe vampire blood and compulsion makes them a bit fouler, but that's obviously not much."

I narrowed my eyes, thinking hard. "So magic makes her repulsive, the tattoo makes her repulsive, and there's something else. What could it be?"

"It could be something she inherited, but it's obvious that her power is unique," Abe said carefully.

Before I could say anything else, he turned towards me. "We have more urgent matters to discuss, Adrian."

I nodded, and he continued. "Sydney will go to that trial in two days. While Jared requested from her to fake her testimony, our Sydney agreed not to do it. She'll say the truth, and it'll probably enrage Jared. We have to be prepared for the Alchemists – they want to take her to Re-education. We mustn't let that happen."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why, is it that scary down there?"

Abe looked at me, dead-serious. "Two days in there, and we'll lose her. You have no idea what things they're doing to people there. And Sydney wasn't aware, but her father is the commander. He's the one that decides how long people will stay and what measures will be taken for them to be 'purified.'"

I gulped. "I didn't realize it was that serious," I said and remembered Jared's face when I broke his nose. If he knew his daughter was involved with me, Sydney would never get out of there.

Abe narrowed his eyes at me. "You know about Marcus Finch?"

I nodded. "He is the ex-Alchemist who managed to escape them and the tattoo compulsion. But, that's not true."

Abe finally let his guard down. He looked shocked for a moment. "And how is that?"

"He is still working with the Alchemists," I said. "In fact, he is working with his father."

Abe narrowed his eyes. "Who is his father? And where did you get that information? Is it one hundred percent true?"

I nodded. "I followed him one day, and heard him talk with his father about Sydney and how he was going to find evidences of her being involved with me."

Abe furrowed his eyebrows. "How does his father look? Maybe I know him. I don't remember anyone with the surname _Finch_, though…" he said, scratching his chin.

"His father's surname isn't Finch," I said, taking a deep breath. "It's Sage. Jared Sage."

Abe's eyes widened. "That is impossible," he said. "Jared, having a son? Sydney's brother?"

I nodded and smirked. "I couldn't refrain myself, so I broke Jared's nose. Marcus did manage to beat me up, but when Jared asked me who I was, he said I was just some Moroi from LA. I don't understand why he did that."

Abe narrowed his eyes for the millionth time in a minute. He was looking like a cat, eyeing his prey. "He is playing a double game," he said. "He is working for the Alchemists and against them in the same time."

I raised an eyebrow. "But why would he do that?"

Abe grinned. "If you had a sister who worked against the Alchemists, and if your father was the worst of them, would you rather be among the bad guys or fight the system?"

"So he works for both groups," I exclaimed. "He can't choose between his sister and his father, so he's working for them both. That bastard."

Abe's eyebrows shot up. "Careful with words, Adrian. They might prove to be the truth."

I simply nodded. We were both silent for a few minutes, deep in thought.

"I have a question for you, Adrian," Abe finally said, breaking the silence.

"Go ahead," I said immediately. It was so much easier to get rid of thoughts when spirit wasn't bothering me.

"I see how much you two care for each other. I see that you're not acting like a child anymore and that you're actually thinking with your head before doing anything. I see that Sydney is not just amusement for you. But my question is, how far are you willing to go with her?" Abe said, eyeing me warily. "The Alchemists will hunt her, the Moroi will reject you, and you are breaking a taboo here. Are you willing to lose everything for her? And are you willing to fight for her?"

"But how, Abe?" I said desperately. All the questions, all doubts just poured out of me. "How am I supposed to fight for her? I'm not a fire user. I can't protect her the way I'd want to. I'm dependent on guardians, and if they take her away, I don't know how to save her."

Abe grinned at me, making me think he knew something I didn't. "I can give you an advice. **Don't take the high ground and assume you already know what you'll do. The truth is, when it comes to someone you love, you'll find there isn't anything you won't do.**"

I looked at him, not sure what to say. "I'd follow her to hell and back," I settled on saying.

Abe nodded, still grinning. "Remember, love is your greatest strength. But it can also be your greatest weakness, if you're not careful."

I nodded. I wasn't used to these deep conversations, but I found myself believing in Abe's words.

I could save Sydney. I could keep her safe and stay with her and fight for her in every possible way. We'd find a way to fight the darkness without cutting me off from magic, because I needed it.

And I'd practice, trying to strengthen myself.

I could do this.

With those thoughts and a wink from Abe, I returned to the house and tried to find out what Zoe, Rose and Angeline were fighting about.


	52. Chapter 12, part one: Trouble

**Author's note:**_ Okay, I've been forcing myself to write much today. I wrote 2 one-shots already (around 9k words) and I'm writing the regular doze of TFH. Tomorrow is also going to be a writing day, hopefully, with the Jeddie one-shot and regular update._

_I'm very tired, so hopefully 2.5k is enough for tonight. My first update tomorrow will be TFH, and the others I can finish when I'm actually awake! (11:03 PM here currently)_

_You guys think I forgot __**Lilietje99**__ ? Well, I didn't! I miss you, my crazy girl, your reviews and PMs. I hope you're doing well and that you'll come back soon. And of course, I love you! :)_

_Okay, now onto reviews._

_1. __**KyKat**__: I never doubted you and your reviewing skills too! Thank you so much._

_2. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Yup, even Abe is surprised by Sydney, Adrian and everything about them. But they are awesome, right? Thank you so much, my devoted friend!_

_3. __**HopperIvashkinator**__: Take your time, sis. Whenever you have time, read, but don't force it. I know that you're busy and I understand – let me carry a part of your burden! Yeah, I miss you too but we'll survive. At least tomorrow's the weekend and we'll be able to talk. Love you, sis! :) (I don't want to comment that last part *blushing*)_

_4. __**casstella**__: Ah, it's frustrating but it was worth it in the long shot. He kind of did give Jared what he deserved, no matter the cost! Uh, the trial will be interesting :D We will see about that too. Sydney's family is going to become MORE and more complicated, and I'm positive I'm going to get lost in all of that. Thank you, casstella, for not giving up on me! :)_

_5. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Oh, a new reviewer! I'm so excited. I am glad I made you feel all those things (that makes me feel I'm worth something!)and I'm glad you think all those things. You're right – plan Marcus is going to be very important at the crucial point ;D Thank you so much for those kind words. You're awesome!_

_6. __**sheerio4ever**__: Waiting for you to read c5 of One-shots! I want to hear your opinion sooooo badly. Wait, I PM-ed you after this review, right? Because I remember talking about VA cast! ;D Thanks, thanks, thanks my buddy! Love ya! :D_

_7. __**iheartfillintheblank**__: That was Abe's quote, and I believe that Richelle actually posted it before any other quotes. I just kind of thought it right to put it in here. Oh, Adrian covered in sauce is definitely something I'd love to think about. Take your time with PM-ing, it's okay! Love you, love you, my friend! Thank you :)_

_8. __**KassandraLeAnn**__: Oh, another new reviewer! Excited! Thanks for telling me your wonderful opinion. Don't be scared to review further :)_

_9. __**Bukwurm13**__: My friend! You're back! You loved the one-shot! And even though you're very busy, you still found time to review! Aaawh. You really shouldn't have, if you don't have the time. Good luck with studying, and I'm really looking forward to you making a profile. Then we'll be able to talk! :D Oh, come on, don't be sorry. Everything is okay. Life and chapters go on, and then people jump in and come back. I'm so glad you loved the one-shot, really. I'm not into Demi Lovato, but I'll read the lyrics and give you a comment! ;D Can't wait for those holidays. Good luck with hematology! And thank you :) And no problem for the spelling mistakes! :D_

_10. __**Katrick**__: No problem! Just please don't forget about it. You rock too, and thank you so much!_

_I love you all! You are all so nice and so warm and I'm just so happy to have you as my readers. Don't be afraid to review, I'll try not to bite you! ;D_

_All the characters belong to Richelle Mead… of course._

Okay, Sydney. Plan thirty-two: move to Italy and make pizzas. No, the accurate plan would be: move to Italy and make _really bad_ pizzas. Adrian and pizzas… made me feel hot all over. It could work, if people bought pizzas because of his good looks.

I simply sighed. Plan thirty-two wouldn't work, just like thirty-one other plans I thought of. We could go anywhere and everywhere, but they'd find us every single time.

I was frustrated. I was desperate. I wanted to be with Adrian for good, taking care of him. I didn't want to be involved in all of this craziness – it'd pursue Adrian to use spirit. If we lived somewhere, let's say, in Ireland, on the seaside, if we lived from my Alchemist money and fishes we caught…

Okay, that's plan thirty-three. Move to Ireland and live from fishing and Sydney's fortune. No, that wouldn't work out, since the Alchemists could always track down their own money.

I shook my head, trying to get those thoughts out of my head. Abe led Adrian out, in the garden, and they were away for quite a long time. Fifteen minutes, perhaps. What were they talking about? Adrian had to tell me.

My emotions were hardly kept in check. My Adrian was smiling, but he wasn't really happy – the struggle, the pain was visible on his face. Oh, darling, if only I could take the pain away. I talked with Ms. Terwilliger and she told me Inez would meet me very soon. But "very soon" wasn't enough for me. Every second of Adrian's suffering was a day of pain for me.

Abe talked to me about many things – Adrian came here two hours later than we did, so we had time to talk. Zoe and Rose were having a fight about safe places in Washington, and my head hurt from their talk, so I isolated myself from them.

I told about blood to Abe first. In a very creepy, scary way, he could be my father. So yeah, I basically had three fathers – the mafia godfather, the caring crazy man and the Alchemist psycho who was, if Abe was trustworthy, the head Alchemist for Re-education.

That scared me. A lot. Abe soothed me, telling me I could get through this, and I could tell that he worried about them finding out. Especially since the trial was going to happen three days from now, and then everything would explode.

A lot of things would change, I knew. I just hoped the damage that was going to be made wasn't going to be beyond repair.

This would all end one day for Adrian and me, right? We could finally settle down one day, maybe have a dhampir or two…

My thoughts were becoming creepy. Thankfully, my phone rang and stopped that particular train of thoughts.

"Sydney Sage speaking," I answered in my business-like tone, when I saw that the caller was unknown.

"Good morning, Sydney," a cold voice said. "Keith Darnell on the phone."

My eyes widened and I sank into the couch, hoping I was having a bad dream. I couldn't speak or do anything. The only thing I could think about was, _He is here. He is here to punish me for doing that to him._

"I'm calling to thank you for sending me to Re-education and showing me right from wrong," Keith went on in a cold, emotionless voice.

"What?" I heard myself ask. Keith was apologizing? This was definitely a trick. No amount of lobotomy could make him apologize to me. We were, like, mortal enemies.

"As a way of recuperating myself, I volunteered to be your escort to your parents' trial." His tone was too measured, too calm, too cold. It made me shiver. It made me feel exposed – as if he was watching me now, and as if the word _Traitor_ was written across my face.

"I understand, Keith," I said in the calmest voice I thought possible. "Thank you for notifying me of this. I'll be expecting you when we land in Washington."

"I suppose your father told you about the trial and your role in it?" he said in that cold voice. I could practically imagine him, his eyes empty, his voice dead, his instincts deadly.

The image of him beating on that glass showed up in my mind again. It was the image that fueled my nightmares for months, and now it was back again to haunt me.

"Yes, he explained the process to me. I am glad that you'll be there to see it for yourself. We'll talk about the details later." With that, I shut him off, unable to say anything else and I clutched the phone to my chest, willing myself to breathe.

Keith was definitely sent by my father, to control me. He was the ultimate puppet – in his control now, doing whatever he wanted. If I thought Keith was off the board, I was wrong.

I bet dad tortured him at Re-education with twice as much intensity. I bet he showed him how disappointed he was in him. I couldn't help it – I felt good because of that. Keith was the perfect boy all these years, and now he failed, while the tortured girl succeeded. They could both sit down and cry if they wanted to, but that fact wasn't going to change.

I couldn't deny that I was very upset. I got up, walked to the table and stood there. As soon as everyone saw me, they stopped arguing, talking and probably even breathing. They just looked at me, their eyes wary.

"What is wrong, Sydney?" Dimitri asked first.

"Bad news," I said calmly. "Keith Darnell, my old enemy, called and told me he was going to escort Zoe and me to the trials. That means that nobody else can come, since he'll gladly report a suspicious dhampir guarding us to the Alchemists' headquarters. Only Zoe and I are allowed, so you won't be able to protect me."

Dimitri just said, "Hmm, that is not good," and turned away, looking at the ceiling.

Zoe, meanwhile, started grinning. "Keith is back? He is coming? That is wonderful! Is he okay? What did he say? Did he mention me?" she bombarded me with questions.

"Zoe, he's the enemy here. I'm fighting on mom's side and I don't care what you think, but if I do that, he'll gladly strap me to a table and poke me with a knife. Perhaps even slice." I frowned. Thinking of these bizarre situations was becoming frequent for me. Adrian was definitely rubbing off on me.

"If he touches you with a knife, I'll touch him with an axe," Angeline said. She was the radical one, but having her honest support meant much to me. Angeline was very dear to me. I just grinned and nodded at her.

Zoe humphed and turned away. "You're just jealous because he doesn't like you. On the other side, he likes _me_."

I fought the urge to say all about Clary. I swallowed, breathing shallow, trying to compose myself, but everyone was deep in thought to even notice.

"What was his name again?" Rose said after a minute. "Maybe I can find him in the criminal records or somewhere."

"Keith Darnell," I said, and I wanted to add that he'd definitely be in the criminal records, but someone stopped me.

"Oh," Abe said, his voice distant, "now this is getting interesting."

"What's up with that jerk?" Adrian said, standind beside Abe.

I swallowed. "He is escorting Zoe and me to the trials. That means you can't come, Adrian. No dhampir or Moroi can."

Adrian looked shocked. He started shaking his head violently. "No, you're not going, and that's how it's going to happen. You'll testify, they'll put a bag on your head and drug you somewhere. And then they'll do God knows what to you, and I'll bang my head on the wall because I wasn't able to stop them. Because you never let me."

Now I was the one shaking my head. "I can take care of myself, Adrian," I said, offering a smile.

Adrian wasn't buying it. He turned towards Abe. "There is a way, right?"

Abe looked at him. "Well, not currently, not with that human watching. He'll be expecting you and anything else that could destroy Jared's plans. You need to be smarter."

"You're not going," Adrian said again.

I looked at him with determination in my eyes. "I am, and you're not going to stop me."

Zoe couldn't stand the talks about her father, so she went outside. Neil went with her, promising to "protect her." I really didn't like that guy. My sister was 15. He had nothing to do with "protecting her." Actually, she should be protected against guys like him. I looked at him with a killer's look, trying to tell him that I was going to throw a fireball at him if he even touched her.

Adrian sighed. "I'll go with you," he firmly said. "I don't care about Keith – by the way, I can't wait to break his nose too – or anyone else. I'm going to be on that trial, no matter what."

I frowned. "You broke someone else's nose?" I asked, mocking him slightly.

The look on his face told me I chose the wrong thing. I gulped and shrugged. He obviously did break someone's nose and felt uncomfortable about it.

Angeline, Dimitri and Rose were talking intently now, trying to figure out how to defend me. Jared seeking revenge was inevitable, so I had to know how to protect myself somehow. While I knew how to shoot or make a move or two, I knew nothing about drugs, knives and mental tortures.

All those thoughts scared me, and thinking about not seeing Adrian or being a totally different person when I saw him next, made me shiver. I didn't want to change. I wanted to stay in love, in Adrian's embrace, forever.

Yeah, Sydney, dream. Allow yourself to hope when there's nothing else left.

Jill and Eddie finally reappeared – they mysteriously disappeared minutes before Adrian arrived. Jill was smiling, and Eddie looked kind of happy too. Perhaps they were working it out. At least they didn't need to hide.

Neil also came back inside, but he looked angry. He slammed the door shut behind him and sat down on one of the empty chairs, breathing hard and trying to calm himself down.

Jill started towards him. "Neil, are you okay?"

Angeline was there in the next moment. "What happened, love?" she asked in a soft voice.

I rolled my eyes. This was awful, and it always ended up turning into a fight.

Soon, it did. "Could you shut up?" Angeline said, looking at Jill with poison. "You're scaring the poor man. Get out of the way – we dhampirs have a special connection."

Jill's eyebrow shot up. "A connection? What does that actually involve? Because believe me, I'm very curious."

Angeline turned towards Jill, her hand on Neil's upper arm. "You can't understand because you're a Moroi, of course," she said, note of disgust on her face.

Jill's face wasn't pale anymore. It was reddish, and I found myself asking the question – was this really worth it?

Neil sighed. "You're both boring and annoying," he said, getting up. "Maybe a man can get some rest and peace in some of the other rooms."

Jill and Angeline, their fists already raised, just stood there like statues, their mouth half-open, and they were watching Neil leave.

Neil, one : crazy teenage girls, zero.

As soon as he left, Jill grinned. "He either has a girlfriend or he's gay," she said with a wink.

Angeline rolled her eyes. "He's not gay. That much even I know."

Then why didn't I know? Everyone was laughing and I found myself laughing too, but not because it was so funny. It was because I was with the gang, and the gang watched each other's backs.


	53. Chapter 12, part two: Reassure Me

**Author's note:**_ A bee stung me, so I'm sorry if I'm a bit slow today. She stung my left palm and it hurts (I'm a leftie, yeah) :( I wrote 2,5k words this morning, but I decided to erase it and start again. I didn't like where it was headed._

_People I love:_

_1. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Thank you, thank you! I'm glad that my updating makes you happy. You rock too! ;D_

_2. __**sheerio4ever**__: Overwhelmed, huh? I'm going to PM you about Ireland later :P Oh, so you're into Eddie too! ;D Nope, Abe isn't Sydney's biological father, where did you get that idea from? :D Angeline is always… fierce. Neil is just a diversion to them, I guess, because they're madly in love with their guys (Trey and Eddie), so they're trying to make them jealous and Neil is the only available man in the gang? :D We'll see about bringing Adrian along ;D Love you! And I am so glad you liked the one-shot! :D_

_3. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: It won't :P There will be bad things, okay, VERY bad things, but I'll end it well. Don't worry, and thank you! :)_

_4. __**ranDomXx**__: No pressure! Review when you have time. It won't go as planned, but they'll cope. Thank you! :D_

_5. __**SoZina**__: Okay, I just told sheerio4ever, but I'll write it again :P So, Angeline and Jill are madly in love with Eddie and Trey, but they want to make them jealous and that's why they're playing like they're in love with Neil, since as far as I know he's the only available man :D Don't worry. It'll be okay. Thank you so much! :)_

_6. __**Bukwurm13**__: And the problem is that the mission isn't even going anywhere, but they're all so busy thinking :D You'll see, there will be drama (of course). Oh God, another typo. I really overdid it yesterday :D Awwwh, thanks for believing in me! :)_

_7. __**Holly**__: A long review! I'm excited :D Oh, so you're from Australia, I like that ;D Don't worry, Keith didn't get what he deserved, not in a long shot. Adrian is going to show him not to mess with the Sage sisters. We'll have more of that soon, don't worry! Yay, you loved the one-shots too! I mean, they're kind of cliché, but who cares! What's important is that you love everything :D Thank you :)_

_8. __**Katrick**__: Okay, I'm stupid but I didn't understand your request :D You are my crazy reviewer and I love you! Thank you for everything :)_

_9. __**Smurvelmurvelsmurfen**__: Oh, a new reviewer with a crazy name! I like it ;D Glad I made you laugh. Thank you for the review, hope you'll review the next chapters too! :)_

_10. __**TheHappyLol**__: Yay! I love making you laugh. And yeah, he got a point! Thank you, popcorn girl. :D_

_11. __**casstella**__: Oh, you'll all see what I have prepared. Don't be frustrated! And thank you, of course :)_

_For my sister, __**HopperIvashkinator**__, just to mention that I love her :P_

_Thank you, guys, I love you and your support, and I can't believe that my story has so many reviews… You know I appreciate every single one._

_Richelle Mead owns these characters, not me._

Abe left first. He told me he'd check up on me, he told me to take care of myself and that he and Adrian had some serious business to attend. I raised an eyebrow at that, but I didn't comment.

Adrian was still kind of angry, or rather, he was freaking out, so he held me tightly and told me to come to his apartment somehow. That meant we were going to have a talk about my decision, and it'd probably escalate into a fight. I sighed and nodded, knowing we didn't have time for arguing. I didn't want to fight with Adrian. I wanted to fall asleep on his chest and wake up in the same position.

On their way out, Abe and Adrian met Lissa, who was just coming back. She was also at some suspicious Moroi meeting, trying to discuss important matters – the hereditary laws, Jill's protection, the information about Moroi assassins being hired by the Alchemists and similar. I really wouldn't want to be in her shoes.

Adrian and Lissa talked for a while and then he left with Abe. Lissa called for me in her room and I was standing in front of her door for minutes, trying to figure out what she wanted from me. So far, I didn't figure out anything.

Taking a deep breath, I entered her room. In it were four guardians, and in front of it were four more. It was very easy to feel paranoid with all those people in the house.

"Queen Lissa," I said and nodded at her. Lissa didn't nod back or smile. She watched me take a seat in front of her with cold eyes. I felt as if I was being interrogated, with all those people looking at me.

"I don't understand how you could do it!" Lissa suddenly said. "Do you even care about him?"

I flinched. "What did I do?" I simply said, not knowing what she was talking about.

That seemed to enrage Lissa. She took a deep breath. "He is on anti-depressants. I just know it – his aura is white, not silver. Even though he denied it, I still claim otherwise."

There was no point in denying it, since she saw his aura, right? I nodded. "Yes, he is. He's taking the pills since yesterday."

Lissa raised her arms. "Well? Why? Why did you ask him to do it?"

Seeing my confused look, she narrowed her eyes. "Oh, come on, neither I or Adrian would ever accept to do it without our partners asking that from us." She paused for a second, and then continued. "It's not going to work. He's just going to end up scared and confused and craving to heal something. I know it, since I experienced it myself. It's awful. As if there's a part of you missing, and you want that part so badly…" she shook her head. "Tell him to stop."

I shook my head in response. "No. I'd rather have him miss a part of himself than be trapped in himself," I firmly said.

Lissa's eyes widened. "What are you talking about? Trapped in himself? Where did you get that from? Adrian's just moody when the darkness hits. Nothing more."

I felt anger rise inside of me. "You weren't there yesterday, when it happened," I said in a cold voice. "You weren't the one scared to death. And you certainly weren't the one who snapped him out of it."

I started to stand up, wanting to leave since I was sick of people who thought they knew everything, but Lissa stopped by saying gently, "What happened yesterday? How did you help him?"

I turned around, but I didn't sit down. I looked Lissa in the eyes. "Yesterday, Adrian and I were talking, and he just froze. He stood there, with a distant look in his eyes, and I couldn't get him to move – not by calling him, hitting him, moving him… not with anything. I used magic on him, and it paralyzed him for a while, but his mind was back."

Lissa looked shocked. "Wait," she said incredulously, "you used _magic_ on him? How is that possible?"

I gulped. I said too much, and now I had to say the truth. "I'm a magic user, Lissa. A witch. And there are spells that can help."

Lissa's eyes widened. "Witches… they exist?"

I rolled my eyes. "Ask Christian. He saw it for himself. Where is he, anyway?"

Lissa smiled. "He's searching for a ring for me," she said proudly. "We are going to get engaged, so that the Royal council can finally shut up."

I raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it a bit… too early for that?"

Lissa's smile widened. "It's never too early. Especially if you're the Moroi queen. I'm a problem because I'm _not_ married. I really can't understand those people," she said and rolled her eyes.

I smiled. "Well, then, congratulations. Christian is a wonderful man."

She sighed happily. "I know. He is so lovely and caring and… I don't know what I'd do without him."

I smiled. I wanted to leave, but in that moment Jill entered the room.

"My queen," she said and bowed. She smiled slightly when she saw me, but it was obvious that she was nervous.

"What are you doing here, Sydney?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"I was just leaving," I said and when I saw her face, I quickly added, "I can stay, if Lissa agrees."

Lissa nodded. "You don't have to call me 'queen,' Jill. You can call me Lissa, or sister, or whatever you want."

Jill smiled. "I'm comfortable with calling you the queen," she said.

Lissa shrugged. "Well, sister," she started, "I want you to know that after all of this is over, you are going to come back to Court. I don't want you in a human school longer than necessary, and I want to have you near, doing your duties."

Jill obviously didn't like the idea, since the smile from her face disappeared and she balled her hands into fists. "What duties? You don't even let me participate in anything. I want to stay in Palm Springs, when this is over. For good. I met people here, and I'm on human schedule now."

Lissa nodded, as if she was expecting this. "But Jill, this isn't your world. You have to hide your magical abilities, your feedings, your true nature from people. At Court, you'd be able to show your full potential. And what when the time comes for you to marry? I'm not going to let you marry some dhampir guardian."

Lissa had no idea how accurate she was. Jill's eyes widened and she took a step back. I realized that Jill and Lissa kind of did look alike, and they both shared the same fierceness and elegancy.

"You don't have the right to choose for me," Jill said. "Besides, Palm Springs is safe. There are no Strigoi, I'm used to the heat and I can practice my magic. I don't even miss St. Vladimir's anymore."

Lissa raised a hand in front of her. "Let me get this right," she said and looked into Jill's eyes intently. "You're the Moroi princess. You are going to marry a Moroi and your children will be Dragomir. I know you're still young, but this is a fact that isn't going to change. Don't even think otherwise. And a desert isn't a place for a princess. You've been here too long, Jill. You forgot that you're a vampire."

Jill stood her ground, even though her face was flushed. "Again, you don't have the right to choose for me. I'll marry who I want and have dhampirs if I want. It isn't your decision to make. And you've been among the royal families for too long – you forgot that others are persons too."

Lissa's mouth turned into a thin line. "You'll do as I say," she said in a cold voice. "This discussion is over."

Jill looked at me, her eyes reddish, and she just turned around and left. I wanted to hurry after her, but I turned around and said, "Way to go, Lissa, that really solved everything," and ran after Jill.

"Jill!" I yelled, but she was nowhere to be seen.

I went out, hoping I'd find her in the garden, but in the garden was Zoe.

She was on the bench, reading a book. That's a thing we have in common – we both know how to get lost in a book and forget the time.

Christian was just entering the house. This was my chance. I ran to him.

"Christian," I whispered and he turned around, smiling, "I need you to tell Zoe I had an urgent Alchemist matter to solve, if she stops reading and sees that I'm gone."

Christian raised an eyebrow. "What matter?" he said.

"A dead Strigoi," I immediately said. Christian made a confused face, but nodded.

"And congratulations," I whispered and pulled him into an embrace.

"She's already telling people?" he said and snorted.

I smiled. "No, she told me you were out buying a ring when I asked." He rolled his eyes at that.

The smile vanished from my face as I remembered something. "But she hurt Jill pretty bad," I said seriously. "Tell Eddie to find her."

Christian nodded.

I somehow sneaked out and turned the engine on without being noticed by Zoe. She was probably reading Shakespeare, seeing that she didn't hear a car driving away.

And in a minute, I was off on my way to Adrian's apartment. I braced myself for what was going to come and I made myself promise that I wasn't going to fight with him, no matter what he said. I couldn't contradict him while he was in that state.

I gulped, knowing that the state he was in was going to last until we met Inez. Somehow, I felt like she'd know how to help. Really help, not just delay the matter for a while longer. After all, she was the most powerful witch in the USA and everyone respected her. She had to know something, right?

I arrived too soon – my thoughts were still in a total mess, but I was pulling out the spare key from my purse and unlocked the door as quietly as I could, fearing Adrian was asleep.

I entered the apartment, holding my breath, afraid to disturb the silence. It was as if I could hear my own breathing…

Wait a second. I was holding my breath. There was someone else in the room.

I located the person very quickly – as if it was hard to find a dark body on an ugly couch in a darkened room?

Adrian was lying on his back, and he was sleeping. I immediately melted at the sight of him – he was so handsome, and he looked so peaceful, that I wanted to scream. He was too cute.

I slowly approached him and sat on the floor. I wondered why he slept on the couch – perhaps he was waiting for me and fell asleep?

That just made my heart melt even more. I couldn't resist it – I touched Adrian's warm cheek with my hand. He was perfect. He wasn't just handsome – he was so much more, and I felt in love with those qualities. His loyalty, his intelligence, his sense of humor, his sarcasm, his vulnerability, his braveness and fearlessness… all these qualities belonged to him, and I loved them.

But what I loved the most about him (aside from his dependence on hair gel) was the fact that he loved with all his heart, and that he was mine. I still couldn't believe that he fell in love with me, I still didn't know what he saw in me, but that didn't stop him. He loved me whether I wanted him to or not. And that didn't sound creepy anymore.

As if he could hear me, Adrian leaned into the touch, making cute sounds in his throat. It made me smile and I found myself hoping I could take the darkness from him. It was an entity, after all and it couldn't disappear. If only I could take his pain away, I'd be happy. But this way, knowing that he was in pain – no matter if it was physical or mental, it was awful.

I also realized something – I wasn't afraid anymore. Keith, my father, the Alchemists… they didn't scare me anymore. I had what I wanted right here, right now, and even if I died tomorrow, I'd be happy.

But I was afraid, of Re-education. Abe told me to be careful, he told me they messed with minds there. I didn't know what exactly they did there, but I didn't want to lose that part of myself. It was the only part of me that actually mattered. If they erased my memories, it'd be as if they never even existed, and that was the worst thing that could happen.

If I forgot Adrian and the way he influenced on me… If I forgot how happy he made me, how fearless I was with him by my side, would my life even matter? If I forgot Jill and Eddie, that acted like a brother and a sister for me, or Angeline, who taught me that everyone deserve a chance, or Rose, Dimitri, Lissa, Christian… They were, actually, my only true friends, and they weren't even human. The Alchemists were wrong – vampires did have feelings. My guess was that they felt everything even more intently than humans did.

Re-education was waiting, waiting for me to get ready. I had three days to harden myself, to prepare myself for what was going to happen next. Somehow, I just knew what'd happen after I testified. And somehow, I knew it wouldn't end well for me.

I didn't realize Adrian's eyes opened, until he brought his hand up to meet mine, which stroke his cheek. I immediately started to pull away, but he interlaced our fingers and when I looked up at him, he was smiling.

"Hey, Sage," he whispered.

Despite my bad thoughts, I smiled back. "Hey, Adrian," I whispered.

We were suspended in time for a few seconds. It was enough to feel his warmth, to see his beautiful eyes focused, and I was happy.

"How are you feeling?" I asked quietly.

Adrian sighed. "Good, I guess. I'm not feeling like I'm going crazy or anything, but I feel like there's something missing. It's as if I'm a bird in a cage – I want to fly, but I can't."

I started stroking his cheek again. "If it's so bad, you can stop taking the pills," I said honestly. "I won't be angry. We'll find another way."

Adrian shook his head. "We agreed – until we meet Inez. I can hold on until then."

I smiled again. "You're so brave," I whispered.

Adrian smiled a shy smile. It made my stomach turn for 360 degrees – seeing these honest smiles that nobody ever saw. If he knew how charming they were, he'd use them on women all the time. "I'm not brave enough," he said. "If I really was brave, I'd say something to you, something that's been bothering me for a while already. If I was brave, I'd contradict you and tell you I'll go with you to that trial." He shook his head. "But no. I'm too selfish for any of that. I'm just lying here and enjoying your presence."

My hand had a mind of its own, so it roamed until it rested in his hair. Adrian's eyelids fluttered close, and he made a low sound in his throat. It made me giggle.

Adrian opened one eye. "What? Can't a guy enjoy his woman's touch?"

That made me giggle even more. "You're impossible. I came here, planning to argue with you until you let me go face Keith and Jared alone, but you just let it go. And now we have time to just… be here, without fighting or anything."

Adrian's other eye opened. "I don't want to fight you, Sage," he said quietly. "Not anymore. We can work everything out together, and you're currently trying to work it out on your own, but I know that you won't let me do it my way. It's pointless, so I'll rather let it go than hurt us both in process."

My eyes widened. "You're suddenly wise? You sure you don't want to go to Tibet and be a monk? I can disguise myself as a man," I said, grinning.

"I've been thinking about that too," Adrian said in a serious voice. "We can't stay in this state forever, Sage. I know it's early to talk about our future, since so many things could change within a second, but I…" he sighed. "I want to know what you want."

I leaned into him, nearing my head to his neck. "If you asked me that question a month ago, I'd say 'I don't know.' But I know now," I whispered. "After this mission is over and Jill returns to Court or wherever she's going to live, you and I are going to Mexico and you'll choose a new tattoo for my cheek."

Adrian chuckled at that. "That's going to be a hard one, Sage. I don't know if it's possible not to ruin your cheek. Golden is really beautiful on you."

I blushed and he kissed my cheek, but he didn't move afterwards. I could feel his breath on my face, and it made me shiver. "And after that, we'll settle down somewhere far away from the Alchemists and Moroi and everyone else. That's, at least, the best-case scenario. We'd have to be a lot more careful not to be caught."

"Will," Adrian said. "We will be a lot more careful. And with your skills, we won't be caught."

I closed my eyes, inhaling Adrian. His smell – his cologne, his natural scent, mint, pines, grass, so many smells – it was able to calm me down in the blink of an eye. My heart immediately started beating slower and I calmed down. Just with the memory of his smell, I could beat Re-education and everyone else. I could.

"I can't see your aura," Adrian whispered, his hand in my hair. "but I can tell there's something wrong."

I sighed. "I'm going to Re-education, Adrian," I said, believing in my words. "I'm not sure if I can endure it. I'm not sure if they'll manage to break me. I'm afraid they will, and I'm afraid that they'll take my memories away." My voice broke after that, and I continued in a shaky whisper. "I don't want to lose you, Adrian. I don't want to lose my feelings for you."

Adrian's other arm went around my shoulders. He held me tightly, kissing my neck. "You won't lose anything," he said firmly. "Even if I have to kill them all, I'll get you out of there."

"But what if you're too late?" I whispered. "What if I'm already lost when you come?"

Adrian leaned back to look at me, the familiar fire shining in his eyes. "Listen to me now, Sydney," he said and I shivered. "I am not going to be late. You are not going to be lost. And you are not going to Re-education at all."

It was so easy to believe him when he looked at me like that. If he told me I was a dog, I'd believe him. I'd believe in anything he said.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Now I have something to believe in when they take me away from you."

Adrian groaned. "Oh, come here," he said and buried his head in my hair. I started giggling – I didn't even think the thought of me giggling was ridiculous. Adrian always made me giggle.

"If they took you away, it'd have two major consequences," Adrian said, his voice muffled. "One, I'd hunt them all down and kill them. Two, I'd go crazy. So basically, they'd have a psycho that wouldn't give up until they were all dead."

"Oh, Adrian," I whispered, gently touching the back of his neck. "You don't need to even think about those things. If you killed them, you'd be on the same level. But you're better than that. You're the strongest and the gentlest person I know. And I love you."

Adrian's head moved a little. "I still can't get used to you saying that to me," he said and then he started laughing. I touched the back of his neck again, trying to calm him down.

"Well, I love you. It's just the truth," I said. Adrian kept laughing, and he moved away.

I looked at him, confused. His eyes were shining and he was still laughing. "What's so funny?"

Adrian touched the back of his neck. "It tickles," he said quietly.

Oh. So I finally found his weak spot. Adrian Ivashkov had a weak spot, and I knew what it was.

I grinned evilly. Adrian moved his hands in front of him. "No!" he said.

But it was too late. I was already on him, tickling the back of his neck, and he was laughing like crazy. I was laughing too, I realized.

"You are so dead," Adrian growled.

And suddenly, my back was pressed to the couch and Adrian was on me, tickling my stomach. I started screaming, laughing and crying.

"Will you be a good girl?" Adrian asked innocently.

I think that, even if he asked me to give him a million dollars, I would've said yes. "Yes," I said through a laugh.

And in the next moment, he was on top of me, and my hands were on his chest, and his lips were on mine. It was kind of crazy, kissing while we were both still laughing, but it felt even better because of that.

Adrian soon moved to my neck and I lost myself in him. I forgot all about Zoe, Clarence's, Keith, my father, Abe, everything. All that existed in the world was him, and it was enough.

I couldn't take it anymore – I tugged at his T-shirt and he paused to take it off. He immediately returned to my neck, slowly going to my left shoulder, and I was running my hands through his bare, wonderful chest. He was a Moroi, but his body… I could watch it an never get tired of it.

I wasn't worried because Adrian soon started unbuttoning my shirt, and I had many reasons to feel that way.

One, it was Adrian and he practically owned my body. He could do whatever he wanted with it, and I'd happily let him.

Two, I couldn't worry or be nervous with Adrian. Yeah, I've never been naked in front of anyone and the thought made me shiver in a bad way, but it was Adrian, for the God's sake. I knew him better than anyone, and he knew me better than anyone.

Three, I was probably going to Re-education in three days. If I was going to lose everything, then why not do this anyway? It's not like it would change anything.

Three months ago, Sydney Sage would've strangled me for thinking this way. She would've said, _He's a vampire! Are you crazy! How can you even think about doing something like that with a vampire? It'd make you evil and you could never be purified!_ And she'd be disgusted. Well, I was rolling my eyes at that Sydney now. The fact that he was a vampire didn't matter.

But I had a problem with something for a while now, and I needed it. Adrian was the only one who could give it to me.

My shirt was off, I suddenly noticed, and Adrian was kissing my stomach. I pulled his head until his lips were on mine again, and I heard myself whisper, "Bite me, Adrian."

That was probably the wrong thing to say. Adrian froze, and he opened his eyes. "No," he said firmly. "No, I won't."

Well, that hurt. Adrian never rejected me before. He probably saw hurt in my eyes, so he took my cheeks in his hands. "I want to, Sydney, but I promised. You'll become addicted."

I closed my eyes. "No, I won't. Just this once."

I felt Adrian shake his head. "No. Your body just wants the endorphins." He looked at me and kissed my forehead. "I promised," he said again.

I sighed. "Okay," I said, still feeling the need in me. Well, I at least felt better because he wasn't rejecting me. At least not because I disgusted him.

Adrian smiled, looking at my body. "Sydney Sage, a step from naked on my couch," he said and I turned my head away, blushing.

He kissed my cheek. "Don't worry, I won't pressure you into anything you don't want," he gently whispered. "I'm content with where we are now."

"You're not pressuring me…" I started and shook my head. "I want to, Adrian. I really do. It's just that I have no idea how I'm supposed to act."

Adrian chuckled, and touched my cheek with his nose. The gesture made me feel warm, and I giggled. "You're perfect. So that means you…"

I nodded. Adrian furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?" he asked silently.

"Do I need a particular reason?" I said, rising an eyebrow.

Adrian grinned. "Only if I'm the reason."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not because of the trial, right?" he asked, uncertain.

I bit my lip, hoping he wouldn't see.

But Adrian noticed. He groaned. "Oh, God, it's because you think they'll take you away and you'll never come back."

I looked into his eyes. "If anything can make my memory of you permanent, it's that."

Adrian leaned into me. "Let's make a deal," he said gently, his lips a breath away. "It's the first thing we'll do after you come back from the trial. I don't want to rush it, and make you feel bad for doing it afterwards."

"So you're turning me down?" I said, putting on an offended, sad face.

"It's not the first time, trust me," Adrian whispered, grinning, and he kissed me again.

That kiss was special. It was the kiss of promise, the kiss of trust, the kiss that connected us. It was the kiss that said this was more than lust, more than a teenage romance, more than a lot of things. It was the kiss I'd never forget, because I was on a couch, half-naked, and my boyfriend just turned my offer down.

And I offered him my body. He was, like, the best and the worst boyfriend ever.

We'd kiss for much longer, until we were both breathless, but Adrian's phone rang.

He didn't react at first, but I pushed him away. "It could be important," I said, breathless.

Adrian nodded. His breathing was uneven, too, and I let myself admire him as he got up and walked to the table. He was so… pale, but it was a beautiful _pale_. He was so skinny and tall, but it wasn't repulsive_ skinny and tall_. And he was so handsome, but it wasn't a shallow _handsome_. All his characteristics were just a benefit to what he already had. And his good looks were a curse – people would always consider him shallow, stupid and useless. My Adrian was so much more than that.

"Castile, I'm kind of busy right now," Adrian snapped. Poor Eddie, it wasn't his fault that he didn't know Adrian and I were making out.

As Adrian listened to Eddie, I started buttoning up my shirt again.

"That can't be possible," Adrian quietly said.

After a second, he snapped again and I turned towards him. I couldn't see his face, but I was certain something happened. "Damn it, Eddie, she couldn't have just vanished! There are 13 guardians in that house, and nobody saw her? Is that even possible?"

I got up, walked to Adrian and wrapped my arms around his waist. He squeezed my hands with his free one. "Is it Zoe?" I whispered.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Adrian said and shut Eddie off.

He turned towards me. "Sydney," he gently said.

I closed my eyes. "It's Zoe," I whispered.

Adrian took my cheeks into his hands once again. "No. It's Jill," he said. "She disappeared."


	54. Chapter 12, part three: You Don't Know

**Author's note:**_ Hello everyone! Tomorrow the school is starting, so I won't have as much time as I have now. I'll continue updating in the evenings, though, so don't worry! :)_

_And you'll kill me, but I totally imagine Adrian as a leftie. All crazy artists are lefties (and accidentally, so am I) :D_

_1. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: You think? :D I'm so sorry for making you cry! Don't bite your nails :P It will get better, and I love you too! Thanks for the funny reviews! :D_

_2. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: Okay, why do people think Jill ran away? The poor girl was kidnapped! :D Oh, that's a nice development for Lissa. We'll see, though. Thanks for the review! :)_

_3. __**Smurvelmurvelsmurfen**__/__**TheHappyLol**__: Don't be embarrassed, popcorn girl! Okay, I'm laughing. You may blush :D Oh no, not the sugar rush! I feel that way when I eat a lot of chocolate. Gimme that sugar you're throwing! :D Noo, don't swing with your feet! And laugh, and eat sugar, and lie on your back with your laptop – IN THE SAME TIME! Yeah, you're crazy and I love you. :D Alicella Ivashkov gave me a reason for Lissa's behavior ;D You spelled Re-education right :P I'm so sorry that I made you cry! :( And don't worry. Jill isn't dead. Thank you for two reviews, popcorn girl! ;D_

_4. __**sheerio4ever**__: Okay, I answered your review via PM even though I can barely type on my phone because of the bee sting, so I'll just say that I love you. Your one-shot will be up, just because I love Christian! :P_

_5. __**damonforever86**__: My dear buddy, reviewing every single chapter. Well, I certainly hope that you'll come to the good part (the bite, I think it's on c32), and I'm so excited to hear your opinion on all of that! I'm so glad our stories have things that connect them, it makes me think I did some of the stuff good, actually. And I love you too! :)_

_6. __**ranDomXx**__: With Adrian? We all are in love with him. Phew, you're not scared anymore :D And Lissa… stay tuned for my one-shots, I'll explain it there (as if it needs an explanation, since she's a spirit user). Love you, and thanks! :)_

_7. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Hey, you got three one-shots so it's fair! I am so excited to write those one-shots! Thank you for everything :)_

_8. __**Rebelde09**__: There are 5 of your reviews :P The truth would destroy Sydney. I mean, it'll destroy her anyway. Don't worry, Adrian will be off the pills soon enough, but will it be too late? ;D And that was creepy and awkward with Abe and Adrian, but I just had to do it! Glad you noticed ;D Something is coming, but not yet. Something major (and I have no idea what). And yeah, Zeil is secret and mysterious, but I'll do a Zoe chapter later that will explain what happened on all these occasions when they ended up alone ;D Thank you for everything, I love you and your reviews! :)_

_9. __**Bukwurm13**__: I know the feel about your dad and feeding your boyfriend to a dog (though thankfully, we don't have a dog :D). Lissa irritates everyone! But she's a good person. We'll see for your prediction. Something like that. I love you too (I'm writing I love everyone, but you're all my faithful reviewers for months already and I feel that way!) and thank you! :)_

_10. __**Katrick**__: It was totally my fault :D What do you have in common with Adrian? ;D Oh, Eddie will go crazy but out poor Jill won't know it. And yes, it will happen in this chapter! You rock, Katrick! :D Now, your one-shot request? :)_

_I hope everything's okay with my sister __**HopperIvashkinator**__, she's studying and it's Sunday. Hope she gets a moment of rest! :(_

_And do I have to mention again that I love everyone and their reviews? _

_You don't have to have a profile, you can review. You don't have to love the story, you can review. And you can be a crazy fangirl, and you can review. Anyone and everyone, tell me your opinions! I am so, so honored by having so many reviews. I wonder who'll be number 600? Totalbooknerd13 again? For the third time? Rolling my eyes. :D_

_Richelle Mead owns these characters._

Eddie was freaking out, like we all internally did. Adrian told me that Eddie just said Jill disappeared and that nobody saw her since she left Lissa's room.

I was trying not to be angry. Eddie, Neil, Angeline, Rose, Dimitri and a dozen of Lissa's guardians were in and around the house. How was it possible that nobody saw her?

When Adrian and I returned (I didn't even bother with waiting a couple of minutes before I left, we could just say it was a coincidence), Zoe was still on that bench, reading a book, as if nothing weird was going on.

Well, bravo for her Alchemist skills.

Angeline was the one that opened the door, and she smiled at me gently. "Hey, Sydney," she said.

I ignored her, not even bothering to look her in the eyes. After all, she was sent here to be Jill's guardian, and she was doing everything except for her job. She was as guilty as everyone else.

I also ignored Neil, but he didn't even bother with greeting us. Adrian was behind me, careful not to touch me, but when I saw Lissa, he might be forced to restrain me. This whole situation was her fault.

Rose and Dimitri came to meet the two of us. "She isn't in the neighborhood, in the house or in the garden," Rose said. "We sent four guardians to investigate."

"Just shut up, Rose," I said coldly. "You better pray that she just wandered off."

"Well, unlike _you_," she said, a note of accusation in her voice, "I'm actually doing my job! Where were you, anywhere? Off with that boyfriend of yours? It seems like you two are physically active a lot!" Her gaze was on my shirt, and I realized I missed a button.

I quickly buttoned it and looked back at Rose. Dimitri was whispering something to her, and he was holding her wrist, but I didn't care. "You're blaming _me_?" I snapped. "So now it's my fault that your perfect queen made Jill cry and probably run away somewhere? It's my fault that her guardians weren't in their positions?"

Rose raised both eyebrows. Somehow, it made me even angrier. I wanted to strangle her. "I'm reminding you that I'm here as an Alchemist, Rose," I said in a low, cold voice. "I'm not Jill's, or anyone's, babysitter. I have a life outside of this whole mess. Instead of blaming me, you might as well walk to a mirror and blame yourself."

Rose put her hands on her hips. "Oh, so you have a life? Does that life include being a bloodwhore to a Moroi? I bet your boyfriend doesn't know about that? Or do you prefer to be bitten while you two are together in bed?"

Oh, she overdid it. Partially because she was referring to something that was a half-truth, and partially because I actually had a dignity. I felt magic rise in me, I felt the urge to do something very, very wrong, and it included killing Rose in the process.

Dimitri looked at me and his eyes widened. I was probably sweaty, with my hands balled into fists at my sides, looking at Rose with a murderous glare. She didn't even flinch; she just raised her eyebrows again, as if challenging me to attack her.

I was about to do so, raising one arm to summon a fireball, but Dimitri was quick to take her away from my sight.

Adrian touched the arm in which a fireball was forming. "Sydney," he said warningly. "They don't know you're a witch. Let it go."

"She can't just tell that to me," I said, struggling to control my voice. Rose was gone, Dimitri probably locked her up in a room somewhere, but now he was back.

"You need to get her to calm down," Dimitri said in a firm voice. Was he actually scared of me?

"Don't talk to him as if I'm not here," I whispered. I wasn't in control anymore; there was some other Sydney, some angry witch, who was desperate to burn something down.

"Get her away from the room," he said, and I realized there was something large in my palm. I looked down and noticed a blue fireball.

Adrian steered me away, and though I protested and tried to move away, his grip on my shoulders was firm. He led us both out of the house, and thankfully, there was nobody in our way. If there was, I would've thrown a fireball at them.

Adrian led me to a bench, and we both sat down.

"Let it go, Sydney," Adrian said, turning me towards him. "I know the feeling. Just let the magic go."

I shook my head. "I need to take it out on someone," I said in a harsh voice.

Adrian leaned towards me, looking into my eyes. "Then take it out on me," he said.

That surely made me stop. I looked at him, angry for another moment, Rose's words replaying in my mind. How could she say something like that? How could she think something like that?

"I thought she was my friend," I said, closing my eyes. Adrian gently touched my hand with his and that made me let go.

I felt the magic leave my body, as abruptly as it came, and I felt something fall onto my shoulders. I looked at them and saw my hair. Nothing unusual.

Adrian saw me inspecting my hair. "It was floating," he said gently. "I've never seen you like that before."

I sighed, sinking into his chest. "Jill disappeared. That made me angry. Rose blames me. That made me want to punch her in the face. But after she called me that name…" I shook my head. Adrian's hands were in my hair, trying to soothe me. "I really didn't think she thought so low of me. I don't understand why she's so angry. What did I ever do to her?"

Adrian laughed a low laugh. "You stole her ex-boyfriend, so he isn't sulking anymore," he said.

I snorted. "But she doesn't even know that," I said.

We were quiet for a few moments. I felt kind of empty, and hurt. "You scared me there for a second," Adrian said suddenly. "I had no idea you had that much power in you…"

I shut my eyes tightly. "I don't know what's happening with me," I whispered. "Things are swirling out of control. I can't control myself anymore."

"It's because you used magic on me," Adrian firmly said. "Somehow, you transferred the darkness to yourself. There isn't another explanation. The normal Sydney would be shocked, but she wouldn't be angry. And she wouldn't attempt to throw a fireball at Rose, no matter what she said."

I leaned back to look at him. I realized he was right. "You're so wise," I said, shaking my head. "But if I transferred the darkness to myself, then I'll gladly endure the effects."

Adrian's face darkened. "You don't know what you're saying," he said. "Is there a way to reverse the spell?"

I frowned. "Of course not," I said. "It's one-way. Once you do it, it lingers forever."

"Damn it, Sage, why did you do it, then? You knew the risks! Now I'm supposed to lose you because of an experiment? Because you didn't think it was important?" he snapped.

I looked at him, confused. "But aren't you glad that…"

Adrian sighed. "Sage, I don't want you to deal with my problems. I don't want you to go through what I'm going. I don't want to lose you," he whispered. It looked as it took a massive amount of strength to say that.

I touched his cheek with my fingers. "Don't worry for me, Adrian," I said. "I'm not producing darkness. It's going to fade. We just need to deal with it now."

He sighed again and leaned into the touch. "I'm trying not to freak out because of Jill," Adrian said. "If someone did something to her… Sage, I can't access my magic. If someone tries to kill her, I won't be able to help."

"But I will," I firmly said. "I told you to trust me. We'll find her, and we'll bring her home safely. And everything will be okay."

Adrian just nodded. I took a deep breath and got up. "Let's get back in there. The sooner we start searching, the sooner we'll find her."

Adrian smiled. "Exactly," he said and kissed my forehead.

It was still crazy in the room. I tried to forget the words said to me, but _bloodwhore_ was still present in my mind. Did I almost become a bloodwhore yesterday? Because I did offer myself to Adrian and I did ask him to bite me. But bloodwhores didn't do it because they loved their Moroi. They did it because they were addicted. Why did I want to do it? Yes, love was involved, but it was more the rush of the moment.

Perhaps I really was what Rose called me. Perhaps I really was addicted, as Adrian feared. And perhaps the feeling of want I had wasn't right.

The living room was crazy – Dimitri was back and he was saying something to Christian that sounded a lot like, "not her fault," and I found myself becoming angry.

I was angry at Lissa. If she hadn't said what she did, Jill wouldn't have ran away.

I looked at Adrian and saw that he was listening intently to what Dimitri was saying. I saw Christian nod with a serious face and leave.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Dimitri told Christian to tell Lissa not to feel guilty. She couldn't have predicted Jill would react this way." Adrian said it calmly, and I bit my lower lip, hoping I wouldn't get too angry again.

Dimitri narrowed his eyes when he saw Adrian and me enter the room. "So you're okay now?" he said warily.

"Just keep Rose away from me and I'll be fine," I said. "At least until she apologizes. She can't accuse me of those things. She knows what I believe in – or at least, what she thoughts I believe in. she should've known I'd react this way. "

Dimitri sighed. "She's very… impulsive these days. Please, don't take it the bad way. There's a lot going on."

I wouldn't buy it. "Yeah, she's under _so much pressure_," I said sarcastically. "And we are lying on the beach and sunbathing."

Dimitri looked at me with a very serious, cold look. "You don't know what you're talking about," he said, turned around and walked away.

"What was that about?" I asked, turning to look at Adrian. He just shrugged.

Zoe showed up a few seconds later, just as a guardian told me how they weren't able to find Jill.

"Did you take care of that Strigoi?" she said, watching me warily. "Is it connected with Jill's disappearance?"

Adrian looked at me with a puzzled look. I gulped and smiled. "I took care of it. It's an isolated case. Nothing to worry about."

In that moment, Angeline came into the room. "Can I talk to you for a second, Sydney?" she said.

Zoe looked at me, her eyes wide. "Don't," she said. "She probably just wants to kill you."

I rolled my eyes. "You're supposed to be mature now, right? Because only a child would say something like that. Go and try to find out as much as possible."

"But Sydney-" she started. I was already gone. I just hoped Adrian would watch out for her.

Angeline led me out into the hallway. She wasn't looking as if she wanted to talk about something insignificant, so I tried to brace myself for what was next. What did she do now?

But there was someone in the hallway, leaning against the wall. When I took a better look, I realized it was…

"Trey?" I asked in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

"I," he started, breathless, "Have news."

I glanced at Angeline – she was smiling. "My hero," she whispered.

"My father was just notified that they've captured the princess," Trey continued.

I gasped. "So she didn't run away after all," I said. "They kidnapped her."

Trey shook his head. "No. Not the vampire hunters. The Alchemists. They say it happened accidentally, but that it doesn't matter anymore."

Angeline nodded along. "Tell her what you found out, baby," she said and I couldn't help but roll my eyes, even in a horrifying situation like this.

"They said they're keeping her somewhere underground, and that she'll be comfortable since she's a vampire."

I gasped. "But she's 15! They can't keep her in a cave somewhere-"

Trey cut me off. "I know, Sydney, but I didn't do it."

I gulped. "Sorry," I quietly said, afraid that this was the darkness again.

Trey nodded. "That's all information dad gave me," he said.

"I told him to ask for more," Angeline said and crossed her arms over chest.

Trey sighed. "Angeline, if I go into their circles, they could easily find out about my involvement with you," he said. "And then they'll execute me, because you're a dhampir."

Angeline came over to him. "Don't worry, baby," she whispered. "I'll kill them all if they even touch you."

I realized it was time for me to go. I cleared my throat. "Well, Trey, I appreciate what you did, and I'd be glad if you could find out more, but it's okay if you don't…"

Trey sighed again. "I don't know, Sydney. I know that I love Angeline, but if my father knew, he'd be so disappointed in me…" he trailed off when he saw the look Angeline gave him. Her eyes were glassy, and there was pure astonishment on her face.

"You love me?" she whispered.

Trey suddenly looked uncomofortable. He started pacing the room while scratching the back of his head. "Um…"

Angeline started jumping around. "Oh my God, you actually love me!" she practically screamed. "That is so romantic! Are you going to ask me to marry you?"

Trey was looking horrified. "You know, I have to be somewhere… now…" he stammered, and I laughed.

"Thanks!" I shouted as he disappeared behind the corner. Angeline was still squeaking. "I have to call my brother, they have to fight for my arm," she said, excitement in her voice.

I rolled my eyes. "You're 18, Angeline," I said simply. "You're not marrying."

"Yet," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"Get Adrian out. Tell him Trey wants to talk to him," I said. Angeline grinned and winked at me.

Trey was going to be a valuable help. We were short on time and we had to do something. By the way the guardians were working, Jill would be saved by next Christmas, maybe.

Adrian came out of the room. "There is definitely something going on between Zoe and Neil," he said, smiling. "What's up? Where's the fire?"

I had to smile when I saw him. He was able to make me feel fuzzy all over just by saying a sentence.

"I have a plan," I gently said. "I know how to find Jill."


	55. Chapter 13, part one: Coincidences

**Author's note:**_ School is awful, don't ask. And I'm a nerd, so that has to mean something. _

_Everyone worried, my hand is better! (you're so cute, asking if I'm fine and all)I have the urge to scratch it all the time, but it doesn't feel like I'm electrocuted anymore (thank God)._

_1. __**CherrySlushLover**__: Thank you for both reviews! Yeah, the story's a bit lengthy but I'm trying to reduce it since chapter 11. Don't worry about Jill :D Yay! You're a leftie too! Now we have a team, with sheerio4ever on board too. Oh God, I hope your hand gets better soon. :)_

_2. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: Thank you for the review! Oh-oh, you might get that showdown later ;D You'll see about why Dimitri got angry too, very soon. I'm so glad you loved the chapter! :D_

_3. __**TheHappyLol**__: Thanks for the review! I'm trying not to jump around because you're writing P&T! I'm glad that you loved the chapter…. And yes, every review you write is crazy :P_

_4. __**Doughnuts Forever**__: Thank you for the review! You're so kind! I'm very pleased because you love the story. :)_

_5. __**KyKat**__: Thank you for the review! Yup, it's a bad time but they'll work it out somehow. :)_

_6. __**sheerio4ever**__: Thank you, buddy! High five for the leftie comment ;D Well I had to, because your review was just so... awwh. And did you just call me a goose? :D It's better now (let me tell you a secrets – I never put creams on my body, expect if it's some crazy situation :D). That, for Jill, was a logical thing to say and I thought about it, but I forgot to write it when the time came. Of course Sydney's not… that dirty word! But you'll see in your one-shot. Love you too! :)_

_7. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Thanks for the review! Yup, it escalated, but it has to in order to get us somewhere :D_

_8. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Thank you for faithful reviewing! Don't might be similar, but it won't end up the same… hmm, perhaps Jill will be nearly killed like in the one-shot? ;D_

_9. __**marcy503**__: Oh, a new reviewer! Thank you for deciding to review the story! You didn't have to make a profile, but I really appreciate it! When I get Internet access back, I'll make sure to PM you! I am very glad that you loved the story :)_

_10. __**Bukwurm13**__: Thank you, my friend. I hope you get through the test, I know how you feel. Ooooh, who couldn't you get out of your head? Make a profile soon so that we can talk about… him? ;D It'll happen, don't worry. And it'll be awesome :D Don't freak out, it'll get interesting from now on! And awwwwwwh for that last sentence about my hand. Love you!_

_11. __**rebelde09**__:Hey, you're back too! Thank you for reviewing :) Ah, Rose is complicated, but soon you'll stop being angry at her. Check my one-shots tomorrow! ;D_

_12. __**Lilietje99**__: You back? REALLY? Aaah! (Imagine me screaming) Welcome back! Now I'll have plenty of new reviews, and I'm so interested in your opinion! :) The host kind of ruined him for me, but if I watch other movies with him as an actor, I'll probably change my opinion. I always cry at the Walter's funeral part, and at the end… :D_

_I love you, guys, and I love your reviews. You're all wonderful and you all love me, so the least I can do is love you back. Let me give you all a virtual hug! And I promised that, when I come back for good, I'll make a list of reviewers, read your stories, do so many things. :)_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

Last time I was in this house, it was burning. There was a crazy witch named Alicia and she fought my Sydney with magic. She ended up badly injured in the basement, but her body wasn't found.

Nobody believed she was dead. Jackie claimed she needed some time to heal, because she didn't find the fifth witch she could drain and the process wasn't finished.

"She can't finish the spell without a strong witch, and now she has a grudge against Sydney, so it isn't too hard to realize what she'll do as soon as she's back in game," Jackie said in a serious voice. "But she isn't dead, that's for sure."

I trusted Jackie, of course. She was old enough, experienced enough and powerful enough to be able to say these things.

"Ms. Terwilliger," Sydney said, poking her head into the room. "I can't find the mirror. It's not where you left it the last time."

I smiled involuntarily. Meanwhile, Jackie just rolled her eyes and got up. "Why can't you call me Jackie like everyone else does?" she muttered, mostly to herself. Then she looked up at Sydney. "And of course it isn't in the same place. Nothing is in the same place anymore, because my house burned down!"

Sydney just sighed and they both left the room. I didn't want to disturb them in their "witchy business," so I sat back and returned to thinking.

I wasn't freaking out. Sydney would find Jill, and everything would be okay. Whatever they were doing to Jill, they weren't going to do it much longer since Castile was going to kick all their asses.

Jackie came back too soon. She was shaking her head. "Tea?" she asked me in a conversational voice. "This might take a while. Her physical skills may have evolved, but she's still stubborn so she won't be able to do it immediately, as she'd expect."

I smiled. "She has motivation, that's for sure," I said.

Jackie nodded. "And it'll help, just as it helped for your friend a while ago. The spell in the desert would've been easier, but it's not full moon yet."

I nodded. "I trust Sydney. She'll do it."

Jackie disappeared somewhere – to the kitchen, I suppose, and came back minutes later with two cups of tea.

I tried it. Green tea. Not my favorite, but good enough. "So, Adrian, dear, tell me something," Jackie started. "Has Sydney been doing some… strange things lately?"

I looked at her, confused. "Why are you asking me that? Is there something wrong?"

Jackie sighed and sat across from me. "I feel something dark in her… As if she's preforming dark magic or something. I've only felt that in you before. It's confusing." She shook her head. "But in the same time, I feel her power growing, so it might be connected to that. Maybe it's a new kind of magic or something."

I looked at her pointedly. "One, don't worry for her. We experimented a bit with mind spells and it ended up transforming all spirit darkness to her. While I'm feeling like a newborn, she's currently in a very… fragile state. I just don't know how it'll end up manifesting. She scared me, actually. And two, you actually _sensed_ magic in me?" I frowned.

Jackie smiled. "Well, of course, my dear. That's how I immediately knew you were a vampire. Your magic gives a different vibe. And it is strong, mysterious. I don't really know how to explain it. Spirit users are indeed different." She looked at me with a serious look then. "Now tell me how Sydney scared you."

I sighed. "It's nothing, actually, but I was – and am – afraid it could escalate into something dangerous," I started. "Sydney got angry after a girl offended her, and she started to tremble. She actually looked like she shined, her eyes and her skin and her hair. There was blue light in her hand and I realized it was a fireball, while her hair started to float. That's when I freaked out."

Jackie laughed. She actually laughed! But it was replaced by a dark look too soon. "It's normal for witches to do that when they achieve a very important and advanced level of magic. They learn to control it after a while. That's why I'm worried – because I know what Sydney is theoretically capable of. She has great power locked up inside of her, but it started breaking free."

I nodded. "I know that. I felt it in her all the time, but I never knew what it was. I thought it was an internal link that connected us, while in reality it was just her. " I smiled. "She is amazing."

Jackie just said, "Of course. It's important that she stays on the right path."

Jackie and I were both silent for a few things, thinking about everything we just discussed. I mean, I knew that Sydney was powerful, but _that much_? And Jackie said it was just a hint of what was really in there.

Jackie finally spoke, sipping at her tea. "I don't feel magic in you," she said in a low voice. "I don't feel it at all. What are you taking?"

I turned my head away from her. "Anti-depressants. They cut me off from the magic, but at least I'm not in danger of killing myself or going crazy. Sydney and I agreed for me to use them until we met Inez. She believes Inez can help."

Jackie looked at me with a grin. "If anyone can help, it's Inez. She's very old, but she's very wise too."

I just nodded, not wanting to talk about my psychical state anymore.

Jackie finally took another sip of her tea. "You realize that she can do scrying spells even if she's not a virgin, right?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Okay, that's a weird question. But yes, I'm aware of that."

Jackie looked almost… shocked. "So why didn't you… do it yet?"

I was certain my jaw dropped. Why did people keep asking these questions? They were supposed to be personal! "Well, I don't know why we have to hurry with it…"

Jackie shook her head. "I don't get it. For a witch, something like that… it'll change Sydney and the way she comprehends her power. That's why I'm going to say it – the sooner, the better. And you have no idea how much you could both benefit if your powers intertwined that way. It's the strongest force that can bind people."

I raised an eyebrow again, not believing my own ears. "So you're suggesting that I…" I paused, frowning. God, this was so awkward.

Jackie grinned at me. "Well, it's up to you, my dear," she said. "I just thought it'd be done a long time ago, but when I asked Sydney, she said she was still a virgin, using a phrase _of course_." She rolled her eyes. "The nerds. I could never understand them. They're caught up in everything, so they aren't even able to see the good things."

And, we just moved into another category – the creepy one.

Thankfully, I was saved of giving an awkward response by Sydney.

My savior. She got into the room, and she was very pale – her pupils were dilated, her hair sweaty and sticking to her face, and she was leaning on the doorway.

I jumped up and ran to her. "Are you okay?" I asked in a low voice, hoping it wouldn't show the panic that was rising in me. I couldn't use spirit on her if she wasn't feeling fine. I couldn't save her, if she needed to be safe. And I'd hate myself for the rest of my life if something happened to her.

Sydney looked up at me with visible effort, smiling. "I found her, Adrian," she said in a tired voice. "I found her."

I led her to the couch and forced her to sit down. Then she gratefully took a sip of my green tea – and frowned.

I smiled, and touched her cheek with my hand. It was cold to the touch. "So, where is she?" I asked gently.

Sydney locked eyes with me. It immediately meant something was wrong, and I tried to prepare myself for what she was going to say.

"Washington," Sydney said. "The place where the trials will be held."

I raised an eyebrow. "But that makes no sense. If they wanted to take you away from the chessboard, they wouldn't put Jill in plain sight." I shook my head. "There's something else going on, Sydney, something we're missing. Some greater plan."

But Sydney didn't hear me. Her eyes were closed, her chest slowly rising and falling, and she was getting warmer by the second. She was asleep.

So now I was pacing Clarence's living room, trying to think of a solution. Okay, so this was a trap or something. Definitely not what everyone said it was – a kidnapping and a divorce trial. No, there was something deeper going on, and I wanted to find out what it was.

Could it be that the Alchemists weren't working with Moroi assassins after all and that the Moroi assassins kidnapped Jill? It seemed like the only logical explanation. I was afraid. Sydney was going to be very exposed, caught in the middle of two fires, hated by both sides.

I had to save her, someone. Inez could wait, but Jill couldn't and wouldn't. they'd kill her as soon as they got the chance.

Suddenly, Angeline and Dimitri entered the room. Their faces were guardian masks, but I easy realized they weren't really sure if they made a good decision or not.

"We're going," Dimitri said as he turned around, his duster sending dust all across the room. Sydney would laugh out of two reasons – one, the joke with "duster sending dust." Two, because it meant Clarence's living room was gross and full of dust. It wasn't far from the truth.

I saw someone enter behind Angeline. It was that guy Trey, the one that was infiltrated in the vampire hunter now. At least he was a friend, according to Sydney.

He stood next to me, his face a little annoyed, but mostly just confused and surprised.

Angeline looked at him. "And Trey, you're going with us. I don't want you on the line of the Warriors – I want to be able to protect you if they attack. Someone has to stay and guard Lissa, and we agreed on it being Neil. He isn't taking it well, but Rose and Dimitri both have to come to save Jill. And Eddie..." She smiled. "You know him."

I chuckled. "You can leave us both behind, Angeline," I said. "With Eddie on board, they're all dead. That's for sure."

Trey's mouth was open. "I'm going…. But where? When? What should I pack?" he pulled his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Angeline rolled her eyes. "Don't look at me as if I'm Jesus," she said. "You're going too."

"Wait – what?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "But Sydney said I can't go!"

Angeline winked. Dimitri was looking at her with an amused expression. "She said you can," she said. Her hand was immediately in Trey's and then they were both gone.

Dimitri came closer to me, and then sank into the couch. "Oh, God," he groaned. "This is frustrating."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not worse than the showdown between Rose and Sydney," I said. "That was worse than all of this."

Dimitri looked uncomfortable. "You should try to understand Rose too, you know," he said, glancing at me from the couch. He was looking so… small from down there. "She has problems too."

"What problems?" I asked, putting my arms across my chest. "It's about time for you to actually tell us. We all have problems, Dimitri."

Dimitri looked at me very seriously. "There's something…" he started, but then a phone rang somewhere.

Dimitri frowned. "It's Jill's mobile phone," he said. "Someone's calling her."

He got up and quickly walked to the table. On it was a purple phone. I rolled my eyes, because it was so much like Jill to have a phone like that. Then I remembered she was kidnapped, and something contracted in my chest.

Dimitri's guardian mask went back as soon as he picked up the phone. "I understand," he harshly said and finished the conversation.

"So?" I asked, smiling. "Was it Lee, asking for Jill to become Strigoi or something?"

Dimitri looked at me, not a trace of mock in his eyes. "The kidnappers. They say we bring a million dollars to Washington by tomorrow, and they'll let her go."


	56. Chapter 13, part two: Just A Bombshell

**Author's note:**_ Guys, I'll answer all your reviews in the tomorrow's chapter. I really don't have time now, since it's 10:30PM and I have to get up at 6AM, so please forgive me, and endure these quick, half-asleep updates until Friday. After Friday, everything will be okay (inshaAllah :D)._

_And yes, this will be a small one since there's only one tweet left for Adrian's chapter. Today was a long day, so it's a savior :D But I'll get into Sydney soon enough! ;D_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

So, we now had to plan. Really _plan_, since Jill's life was in question here.

Thankfully, now Sydney didn't have to admit she was a witch in order to make everyone go to Washington with her. Rose would never accept the famous "I have a feeling about it" sentence.

That's why we planned. Images of my dear Jill locked somewhere in a cave, in chains, were in my head, and I focused on sending thoughts like, _Hang in there, Jailbait_, or _We're coming for you, so don't worry_, because I knew Jill would hear me and it'd help her a lot.

And of course, I was trying not to freak out. I mean, my Jill was kidnapped! The Moroi princess! A sweet 15-year-old girl who's extremely talented in modeling! Who'd even think about harming someone like my Jill?

I missed her. I missed her a lot. Our late phone-calls, conversations via the bond, her insider knowledge and the way we were close to each other. She really was like a sister to me. If it wasn't for her, Sydney would've gone to Mexico. She did so much for me, and I never did anything. She took the darkness, the side effects, everything bad, and she still had the strength to smile.

I never saw that. I only saw Jill, my sister. But her inner emotions were mysterious to me. Her aura was shadowed, like Rose's once was, so it was harder to determine what exactly her emotions were. She did love me a lot, I knew.

If something happened to her, I'd… I didn't want to think about it.

In an attempt at avoiding my own thoughts, I tuned in to the conversation that was unfolding in front of me.

"So," Rose said in a calm voice, "we have eight passengers – Sydney and Zoe that are going to the trial, Trey and Adrian as the extra luggage, you, me, Angeline and Neil as guardians and leaders. I'm going to call the airport and make a reservation."

Dimitri nodded. "Do that. Meanwhile, I'll try to make everyone pack until tomorrow morning. Take only if that schedule is possible. If not, we'll find out some way."

Rose nodded and left. Neil spoke up then, as if he was ignoring Rose or something. "Someone has to guard the Sage sisters, obviously," he said in a light tone. "If they're unprotected, they could end up practically anywhere with anyone, and we wouldn't know. We should try avoiding that."

Dimitri's mouth pulled up into a mind. "And do you accidentally have a volunteer for that job?"

Neil blushed and looked away. "Well, accidentally, me."

Dimitri rolled his eyes. "Okay, you may guard them, but with your life. Treat them as if they're Moroi."

Neil nodded, and in that moment I realized what it meant to be in a military school for a while. He was a soldier, with the body, the mind and the soul of a soldier. "Of course," he said seriously. "I'll guard them better than my own life."

That made me roll my eyes too. Neil looked like an artist sometime, with cheesy lines and all.

Dimitri left to inform the queen about our plan, even though we still technically don't have one. We wanted to throw Sydney into that mess and expected her to come back safe and sound? Well, who would?

And Sydney, of course, was refusing my offer for her to stay here. I knew the trial was very important to her, so I didn't push it further, no matter how dangerous this trip was. I trusted her to protect herself. We made a deal – until Inez, I wouldn't be able to heal her (or anyone else) if they needed it.

My thoughts were interrupted by someone making his entrance into the room. Zoe and Sydney were in the corner, talking with someone I identified Abe, probably about the trial. Rose was gone, pacing the next room with a phone in her hand, and Neil was sitting and being silent.

Dimitri entered the room, and Christian behind him.

"People," he said, clasping his hands. "I have news."

He made a dramatically paused, a small smile playing on his lips.

Seeing our raised eyebrows and disbelief, he took a hard breath and said something that made us all gasp.

"The queen is pregnant," he said gently. "Lissa is pregnant."

The room was silent for a moment – everyone were watching at Christian, not saying anything.

And then everyone started talking in the same time.


	57. Chapter 14, part one: The Plane

**Author's note:**_ Hey, people! I have more time today (or, to be more accurate, tonight), so I'll try to write more than yesterday. Today and tomorrow will still be short updates, but from Friday we're going to do the real chapters. I am sorry for this, but I'm writing half-asleep again and I'm on less than 1k words :D_

_I need to say that __**Gg**__ is the 600__th__ reviewer that gets a one-shot. Write your request in a PM or in a review, and I'll make sure to write it! Congratulations :) And perhaps I'm wrong about it? I don't care! My dear __**Lilietje99**__ wrote 16 reviews yesterday and probably 40 more, so she gets a one-shot too! Sue me if you want ;D_

_Now, onto my reviewers (and I'm warning you, there's around 40 reviews so just skip if you're not among them):_

_1.__** sheerio4ever**__: I love gooses! And ducks! :D "Boom" is a great word ;D Yup, Ms. T. is awkward. And you'll see about their money requests! Review #2: You happy for Lissa too? I thought people would hate her even more! This was a short review? :O You are crazy! I… I'll be honest. I don't even open my mail. Last time I opened it, I had around 1300 e-mails from FanFiction and I was scared. :D Thank you, my Irish girl, I love you too and hope you sleep well tonight and have a nice day tomorrow too :) Love you!_

_2. __**TheHappyLol**__: Caps lock on, you're like Angeline! :D And why would Alicia be in Washington? It's an interesting theory, that's for sure! ;D Review #2: Yup, Lissa is pregnant and she is acting a bit… you know the word. But you're happy? That is awesome! :) Thank you, popcorn girl and love you! :)_

_3. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Yeah, a normal kidnapping is so lame (rolling my eyes at you :D). Review #2: Interesting timing, that's the idea! :D Thank you, my faithful reviewer! Love you! :)_

_4. __**marcy503**__: She'll be okay :) Review #2: It's unexpected. Okay. I've been doing a one-shot about it so I'm not surprised :D Thank you, Marcy, for reviewing! :)_

_5. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Why would Alicia kidnap Jill? I mean, it does make sense, but did I imply it somehow? Because everyone think Alicia did it! :D You're a leftie too! Give me a high five! :D Thank you for reviewing! :)_

_6. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Good luck in high school. This year is like… awful for me. If anything, I'll continue because of this review. Review #2: Wordless? :D Thank you for everything :)_

_7. __**Guest**__: I am glad you think it's awesome! :) Thank you for the review! :)_

_8. __**Lilietje99**__: Wow, 16 reviews! I'll try to answer them all. Yeah, that with Marcus being Sydney's brother was quite shocking, I admit :D Yay! You loved the Pyro-bonding! Everyone loved it :D You gave me the most exact examination and explanation of Marcus. That is so... true. Wow, that compliment is wonderful. Thank you :) You always get what you want, since all you want is Sydrian! :P Don't hurry with the one-shots. If you want, request one :) Clary and Jace were so weird to me too… I repeat, I have a brother and I kept thinking, "Oh God, he's her BROTHER!" But then it ended up being good and I'm happy now (I don't want to read books 4 and 5 until City Of Lost Souls comes out :D), so no, I won't make it TMI. I mean, Marcus doesn't have a motive except that Sydney is pretty. I'm glad you liked the way I explained the darkness :D It's how I see it, actually. Good luck with your classes, hope my story continues to lighten the days :)I missed you too, and of course I didn't forget you! Yup, Adrian and pizza. Girls were stripping in their reviews :D Ah, what does writing at 1 AM makes me do! :D But that really was an accident. We'll have a real examination of all these things, going away and mysterious disappearances in a chapter from Zoe's POV. I can't really follow their romance with Sydney, but I can forget it and make it appear in one moment. I really look forward to your review for c56 :D Don't worry about Jill :) A bee stung my hand! It still hurts :( Yes, I cry so much at The Host, but now when I tried to read it images of the movie appear in my head and ruin everything. :( You'll see about the money and everything! :D Yay! C56 review is so cute! :) Thank you, thank you, thank you! You didn't have to write so many reviews, but you're crazy so you did. And I love you! :D_

_8. __**Guest**__: Don't worry, I'll keep on writing :) Thank you for the review!_

_9. __**Catchick10**__: I am glad that you loved it :D Thanks for the review! :)_

_10. __**Guest**__: I am confused with 3 Guest-reviews already. Are you all different persons or something? :D And no, no, you aren't mean! You're just asking me if it's going to happen that way. I will say that you'll find out most of it in this chapter, and that I hope you get the answers, but you're definitely right! It is so not time for Lissa to be pregnant now. But is it ever, for a queen? :D Thank you so much! :)_

_11. __**SoZina**__: I'm glad you like the fact that Lissa's pregnant! :D Hope this update came soon enough. Thank you, thank you for everything! :)_

_12. __**Guest/GG**__: Thank you, thank you! But that's a bit too much… I mean, TFH will definitely be better than this. It'll be crazy, since I'm on c12 and I've already used all the aces from my sleeves :D Just wait a bit more, you'll find out everything soon enough! Thank you! I love your reviews! :)_

_13. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: I'll just wink at you. ;D (and of course, thank you!)_

_14. __**Sam1405**__: It's okay, Sam! I don't mind you not reviewing. I know you're busy, I'm really busy too so we're buddies in surviving the school. Your words, they are just beautiful. But they're always beautiful, now that I think about it. I have to say that I didn't plan the pregnancy, the bites, Washington, anything, but it still somehow clicked together. I'm astonished too. You'll see everything in this chapter, and I know I've been writing stupid things while I was half-asleep, but thank you anyway. You are a wonderful person, you need to know that. Thank you, Sam._

_15. __**iheartfillintheblank**__: Nope, Adrian isn't going to propose, that is a certain thing :D Plan number 56 is great! ;D Wait, do you like the fact that she's pregnant or…? Thanks so much!_

_16. __**Bukwurm13**__: Thank you for understanding me! I won't forget about him, I'm so interested in it! She's not a grandmother, she's around 50 :P My mom is 50 :D She probably asked Adrian because he's the outgoing, honest, communicative type, who actually has experience in that department, while Sydney is clueless and shy and nerdy :D But yeah, we all agree she crossed the line of politeness. Well, now that I think about it, you're implying a very important thing – that means that the mission will be over in 9 months, so Jill won't have to hide anymore. Hmm, that about Abe being a lawyer is a thing I never considered, but it's a sure thing now. ;D And like Sydney said, it'll all explode in Washington. And Alicia… not decided yet. Ah, I know I wrote mad things without meaning, but I was technically asleep and typing, so please don't mind. I'll do a revision of everything as soon as I move back (mid-September). High five for the nerds! Love you, and thank you! :D_

_17. __**Katrick**__: Glad you liked it! Review #2: We'll see about the million dollars. And the duster will be important! ;D You are crazy cool. Review #3: Yes, they have a lot of problems and it's a problem only in the way that it puts Lissa in danger of assassins and disables her physically. You rock! :D Thank you, Katrick! :)_

_These characters belong to Richelle Mead, not a teenage girl! :D_

"Oh my God," Zoe immediately said, "she better get away from me. I don't want her touching me with that _thing_ inside of her." She made a disgusted face.

We all just rolled our eyes, not even bothering to tell her that was ridiculous. We knew it'd make no difference, because she'd still want to bathe in holy water afterwards.

After that, things quickly changed. Rose looked at Christian with wide eyes, standing in the doorway. Her phone was in her hand, and she dropped it. She just shook her head, pain visible on her face, and she left.

Dimitri sighed and ran after her.

Neil was trying to explain to Zoe that baby dhampirs weren't impure, evil or whatever she thought, but she just shook her head. I wished him luck, knowing he'd need it.

Angeline and Trey weren't even aware that they weren't alone in the room. Trey took her arms in his and they started laughing, talking about something that sounded like "kids are a part of marriage." I rolled my eyes at that, automatically.

Adrian came closer to Christian to congratulate him, and I decided to do the same.

"…aren't you happy, Pyro? Now you two can have little Moroi and they'll probably yield fire! That will be so cool."

Christian's face looked tight. He didn't smile. "I just can't be happy when I know it'll put Lissa in danger. She's 18, Adrian. 18. Isn't that a bit too young for us to have children? And now I'm obliged to marry her – not that I mind, but this is all going too fast for me to even be able to comprehend it." He smiled. It lightened up his whole face. "But I'm sure I'll think it's cool as soon as I actually realize what it means – having a baby that's half you, half the woman you love. It's cool, it really is. I just didn't expect it, that's all."

I stepped up beside Adrian, and I winked at Christian that I wasn't going to be able to hug him. He understood, and just stretched his hand towards me. "Congratulations," I said, and squeezed it.

Christian smiled again. "Just wait for my reaction when you tell me about a certain baby dhampir," he said and winked again. That made Adrian brush his shoulder with mine.

I was close to freaking out. Wait, a dhampir? I'd have a dhampir inside of me? _Me_? But that'd be inevitable, if I was going to be with Adrian.

I shook my head, trying to send the thoughts away. I'd just have to think about it and adjust once the time came. I didn't feel less scared when I told that to myself.

At least now I understood why Lissa acted the way she did. Pregnant women tend to be emotional, they are also nervous and harsh without having an intention. That did make me feel less angry, but it didn't change the fact that this was still Lissa's fault. She couldn't control herself and Jill would forgive her, but the Alchemists or the Moroi assassins didn't care about that. They just waited for their moment, and when they got it, they used it.

The other problem was the fact that Jill wasn't required to be alive anymore. She wasn't the only Dragomir now, except if Lissa and Christian decided to name the child Ozera, but I really doubted it. What did that mean? That meant Palm Springs mission was almost over. I couldn't get back here, I couldn't stay here forever. I'd get assigned for another position, and I'd lose Adrian forever, since he wouldn't be able to follow me everywhere.

But I wouldn't get assigned at all. I'd be at Re-education for a long time, and I'd never be the same afterwards.

I was very, very afraid.

Rose and Dimitri finally came back a while later with the cards. We'd be flying for Washington at 7 AM, so we'd be there very early, and I was very pleased about it. I really loved the feeling of being early in something, for a change. It looked as if I was always late since I started this mission.

A while later, Zoe, Eddie and Neil came back to Amberwood with me. Angeline went somewhere with Trey, saying she'd be back before midnight. Those lovebirds.

I couldn't sleep that night. I'd be in a prison somewhere tomorrow, not being able to do anything I wanted, not being able to see the sky or the sun, or anything. They'd try to kill or crush everything and everyone I loved, and they wouldn't stop until they managed to do it.

So I tossed and turned, thinking about my life, trying to prepare myself for the torture that'd happen to me. I thought about my mom and her cars; I thought about Zoe, being a little child, asking for me to get her a soap; I remembered Carly and the look on her face after Keith did what he did to her; I remembered Rose, being as unhappy as a person can be in Russia, but still managing to smile somehow.

Finally, I remembered my Adrian. I remembered his facial structure, his features, his everything. I really hoped I wouldn't forget the way he looked at me - the way I tried to see myself but never actually managed to do it. I remembered his eyes, their depths, the beautiful green in them. I remembered his hair, his smell, his everything. The way he kissed me, the way he hugged me, the way he held me - everything. And I said goodbye somehow, in my mind, hoping it wouldn't be the last time I thought about him.

I woke up slowly the next morning, everything already packed. No, this wasn't something the Alchemists would do – this was something I'd do, of course. But distracting thoughts wouldn't do me any good now.

Rose and Dimitri finally decided to leave Lissa with trained guardians. I didn't see her since she probably didn't even leave her room, but if someone tried to attack her, I hoped 10 guardians would be enough. It was visible that this was a hard decision for them both, but when I asked them if everything was okay, they just shrugged, saying that being loyal to the queen was the most valuable thing. It was the thing that decided things.

Christian stayed. It was kind of cute of him, caring for his girlfriend and all. He wanted to go, at least he said so to Adrian, but Lissa insisted for him to stay away from the danger. "Our child will need a father," Christian mimicked and smiled. This was obviously hard for him too.

And I couldn't hug him because Zoe was there.

A very long drive in a plane was awaiting me. Zoe sat beside me, of course, and I knew Adrian and I could do nothing here for several hours. At least he was in my line of sight, so I could actually look at him. It made things just a fraction easier for me.

I sighed. He was so beautiful. In front of me was Shakespeare – the author that could distract me from almost everything, yet I couldn't bring myself to read.

Zoe could, thank God.

Adrian turned around and looked at me with a passionate glance. I nodded slowly and showed him my book. He rolled his eyes.

The plane ride was actually quite silent and peaceful, but it definitely wasn't monotone. **It was agonizing… and exquisite. **

Adrian and I kept glancing at each other when Zoe started getting into the book (after a minute of being in a plane).

He'd look at me and wink or smile, and that'd completely undo me. I kept thinking about the plane bathroom, and in which purposes it could be used.

I glanced at Zoe. She was completely absorbed in her book, thankfully. I wished I could do it too, but my mind kept returning to Adrian and the way he styled his hair this morning. We were already noticed by Trey and Angeline, who were giggling, but I didn't really care. We were, actually, in a very similar situation. And Rose and Dimitri were in front of Adrian, so they couldn't see what was going on without having to turn around. Thankfully.

Those mocking, teasing glances turned into heated, worried and loving looks that said so much more than words. _I love you, Adrian_, I'd say. _I know, Sage. Just take care of yourself at that stupid trial, _Adrian would say. _I will. You take care of yourself, and keep spirit in check_, I'd continue. Then Adrian would smile. _Oh, I'm okay, Sage. Is that concern I see on your face?_

And it'd end up with winks or glances that said, _I wish I could use that bathroom right now for something entirely else_. Then Adrian would shake his head and say, _No, you're too young for the kinds of things people do in there._

And so, the hours passed and we finally landed in Washington.

I elbowed Zoe. I did have an incredible urge to throw Adrian to the floor and do inappropriate things to him, but I was smiling. Being with Adrian in any and every single way was a therapy for me.

Zoe closed the book. "But I came to the good part!" she protested.

"Oh, come on, it's not like you haven't read it three or four times before," I said while rolling my eyes.

Zoe looked angry, but that cute kind. "It's different every time you read it," she said and shrugged.

I sighed and stood up. We slowly left the plane, and I couldn't help but think how this was maybe the last time I was in a plane.

"We're here," Zoe whispered. "We're finally here." She was grinning.

Why wasn't I feeling happy?


	58. Chapter 14, part two: Late

**Author's note:**_ Tomorrow is Friday. That means I'll be able to finally start writing normal chapters tomorrow. Endure this short update, I promise to write things with more passion and… well, sanity, then! I'll also gain permanent Internet access in the next Friday (in 7 days), so I'll be able to revise, write, PM you all, etc. Are you excited? :D_

_Here is one thing – I've never been in Washington (obviously), and I'd usually just Google the place and fins what I'm interested in, but I'm very limited with the internet so I actually can't. that's why I won't describe things, and of course I'll make errors and mention places that don't exist, but I don't have any other way. I'd use the White House, but I don't think it'd really make sense :D_

_Again, sorry for grammar errors and sentences that have no meaning – it's because I'm so sleepy, but I'm making myself work. I really hope it isn't too bad._

_And of course, thank you for understanding me and why these things are happening :)_

_My lovely, loyal reviewers:_

_1. __**sheerio4ever**__: You and PE! I wish we could have that class together and be in pain together :( Wait, what did I make Zoe do? :O I don't even remember! Love you too, my Irish girl, and thank you for your faithful reviewing! :)_

_2. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: I will just grin at you. Don't worry, the ending of this story will be so fluffy, that you'll all die, and then I'll die laughing :D Thank you, my caps lock reviewer! ;D_

_3. __**rose**__: No problem! I know who you are ;D Yay, you love the pregnant thing! There'll be more explanations of Rose's feelings, but she's not the center of the story currently. I love her and her bravery too, and the loyalty to those she loves. That describes me exactly. I'm like you and Zoe too! Don't worry, the Chrissa one-shot will be up either tomorrow or after I get some sleep, at Saturday morning. Thank you so much, I remember you being one of the first reviewers and 2 months later, you're still here! :)_

_4. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Hmm. I won't tell you anything, because it'd ruin the story for you ;D Thank you so much! I can't believe you're fascinated by my half-asleep insomniac writing :D_

_5. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Well, of course it isn't lame, you reviewed every single chapter :P Thank you! :)_

_6. __**SoZina**__: Don't worry, it won't happen that way. Sorry to bring you to the edge, and I can't wait until Friday too! Thank you so much :)_

_7. __**marcy503**__: You won't find out a lot in this chapter, that's for sure. Thanks! :D_

_8. __**TheHappyLol**__: Awwwwwwwh, don't be sad! It'll be okay, let me give you a hug. I love you and your reviews are always… super-duper yummy? :D Thank you! :)_

_9. __**bukwurm13**__: OH MY GOD. You made a profile. It must be the apocalypse or something! :D Okay, I'm kidding. I'll make sure to write a long, nice, touchy PM tomorrow, since I really don't have time now. Uuuh, I like that. The "this might just be the last time they get together," that is a very wise sentence. ;D You are one of the best reviewers ever, love you! :)_

_10. __**damonforever86**__: Every girl had gone crazy when I wrote about Adrian in that towel. :D I'm so glad you loved the chapters! And I'm so happy, giggling when I read your reviews, knowing you still have no idea what will happen next! You are very important to me. Thank you for everything, every single review :)_

_11. __**Guest**__: Story will end hopefully by November, it'll have 24 chapters. And we'll see who saves who ;D Thank you for the review, hope I don't update too late! :)_

_12. __**Lilietje99**__: I'm so glad you think this way! I must say again, I'm fascinated by how you all like the last chapter when I don't even remember it. I won't remember his tomorrow either, but the important thing is that you appreciate it. I just hope things will be okay when the school is off for 9 days and I can at least write in peace. Thank you! :)_

_Oh, man. I have chemistry homework. I'll do it in school :D_

_These characters belong to Richelle Mead. :)_

I was angry. Again. And I wanted to lose control so badly. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that people would realize I was involved with magic if I let myself get angry. My hair would float and shine, my pupils would be dilated and I'd have fireballs in my hand.

I tried to imagine myself like that. It seemed really… creepy. Then I remembered all the things Keith had done to me, to my sisters, to Sage family, and I'd have the urge to punch myself for ever feeling sorry for him.

But Keith was the perfect polite gentleman, and he escorted Zoe and me to our rooms. He was suspicious when he saw Adrian and the dhampirs, but Rose and Dimitri kept it casual, saying they were here on business, and that the only association with us was the fact that we were the Alchemists and that we were a part of the same mission.

In their black attire, they looked strong, confident, loyal, fatal. I, with my crazy hair, my black skirt and white shirt, looked like a business woman. And Zoe… she decided to wear a white shirt with flowers on it and tight black slacks, saying it was "acceptable."

Well, that wouldn't be enough for dad. He'd be disappointed, I knew, so I told her to dress into something else, but she put her hair in a ponytail and explained that the most normal look was the most beautiful one.

My sister was _so_ born as a blonde.

Adrian glanced at me once, while Keith wasn't watching, and his gaze undid me completely. It was the kind of gaze that said, "If you don't take care of yourself, I will." It made me smile.

I nodded and within the next minute, he was gone, in his shirt with blue strips on it and his suit pants. He was so handsome, even in this state. And even though my head was spinning, I knew who I was and I knew who I belonged to.

I wasn't afraid anymore.

The court room was enormous, and it was filled with people. Since Zoe and I were both witnesses, we both took our places among the observers.

I glanced at people around me – there wasn't anyone I knew. Was that a good or a bad thing?

Dad soon showed up, hugging Zoe and not making a comment about her clothes. I thought he would, since this was a very important trial, but he probably wanted to just let it slip and deceive his daughter longer.

Well, mom had Carly and me, and we were both older and more mature than Zoe.

I found Carly a while later, in the first row, and when she looked at me, I waved and winked. God, I haven't seen her in a long time – she looked so different. Or was I the one who changed, while everyone remained the same?

It didn't matter. The trial started, and the judge started reading the subject of the trial, people enrolled in it, their demands, wishes and the value of the trial. He was a very old man, with white hair and white beard, but he'd glance at me with certain warmth in his look and facial expression. I was convinced he'd never look like a dangerous guy or something like that to me. That certainly went in favor for mom, right?

But where was mom, anyway? Her side of the courtroom was basically empty. The judge tried to speak as slow as he could, obviously stalling, but if mom said she'd be 5 minutes late, it meant he'd be an hour late.

Suddenly, the door room opened with a creak. A beautiful woman, obviously in a hurry, ran across her room. She was hugging several books to her chest, and I was fairly certain that there were a lot of books still waiting in the hallway.

"I am sorry, jury, but my lawyer has never been to Washington and he got lost on his way to the court…"

Mom really was beautiful – she was charming, she had beautiful, tall, body, she had her blonde hair, her beautiful blue eyes…

But no. I got those awkward genes which made you have mustache or play football or things. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I'd always see a bit of dad in my reflection. That's why I was so afraid of myself and what I could do – I looked more and more like him every day. I already spoke and thought like him, and now genes made me even look like him… I didn't like it. At all.

What I didn't see, since I was looking at mom so intently, was the man behind her. He brought a little bag, which meant he was her lawyer.

Indigo shirt. Light blue jacket and suit pants. A red scarf.

Abe Mazur was here as my mom's lawyer, and he was winking at me.

Now I was sure nothing could confuse me more.


	59. Chapter 14, part three: Yup, It's Short

**Author's note:**_ You are maybe going to hate me for this chapter, but I owe it to you. It's just another perspective of things, really, but since everything is going to change, I want to do this before going any further with the story. If you don't want it, then… Wait until tomorrow, okay?_

_And yup, I'm a disappointment – this chapter is 1,3k long (or rather, short), but I am literally sleeping and my writing doesn't have any meaning. I am so sorry for this, but I promise that as soon as I get some sleep, I'm going to start writing and write a big, big chapter about Zeil and then we're going to continue. _

_I'm sorry for disappointing you.) _

_The wonderful people:_

_1. __**sheerio4ever**__: Ah, I have much homework, but I have 9 days to do it, so it'll be okay for a while now. I'm sorry again for those short chapters, buddy, I hope you like this one! Thank you for everything, and love you :)_

_2. __**TheHappyLol**__: Haha, that was actually very funny to read :D Thank you, my lovely friend, and love you! :D_

_3. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Ahh, I'm not your master! I'm just a crazy girl :D Sorry to confuse you, it won't feel better after you read this chapter, that's for sure. Thank you, and did you choose your one-shot? ;D_

_4. __**marcy503**__: Is this better? The next 10 chapters will be much, much longer. Thank you for being patient! :)_

_5. __**Guest**__: I am very glad you loved it! Thank you! :D_

_6. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Okay, I didn't know that. I thought Washington D.C. was a part of the state Washington? And I knew that The white house was in D.C. :D Thanks for the tip! ;D_

_7. __**rose**__: Yup, we all hate every kind of homework. Thank you for those wonderful words. I really am loyal to what I do, and even though it seems bad and insignificant, just remember that a lot of hard work was put up into it. Thanks for everything! :)_

_8. __**dimitrisgirl1971**__: A new reviewer! I am excited, so welcome here, to this list! :) Hope I'm not too creepy. Your words really undid them, that review is really beautiful. I'll try to be a writer, but I'm content with writing here too! :D Thank you again. You are very nice :)_

_9. __**Katrick**__: Yes, everyone loves Sydney's thoughts! ;D You'll see here why she's happy. Oh, hope as much as you want :P NZ is New Zealand, right? That is AWESOME! And I love having young people read my story. That makes me feel special, in a good way. :) Thank you very much, for everything._

_10. __**Lilietje99**__: Of course, Zoe is a blonde just mentally! ;D I hope this chapter is long enough and I won't deny I'm feeling as tired as I did in the last 4 days since I had school today too, but I'll try to keep my promise. Good luck with Math, that subject is tricky! And you're third grade? ;D Thank you for every single word you write! :)_

_Everyone else, thank you for everything, for just being there, supporting me in the right moment, too. Thank you even if you're not a reviewer – seeing 20k views for the first chapter is… yeah, it's much. And it makes me happy, knowing people are reading. It is ironic, having 20 000 people read the chapter, and only about 20 review it. People are probably lazy, they forget, they don't think my story is worth of reviewing or something… but thank you anyway, for just being there for me._

_Ready for something new I wanted to do for a long time? Ready for something I owed to a character? I hope you are, so here it comes._

_These characters belong to Richelle Mead._

Dad was disappointed. He said he didn't like my clothes. I tried to dress positive, child-like and appropriate for a 15-year-old but still keep it formal.

I obviously didn't pull it off. Sydney was right, and I was too busy thinking she was jealous of me that I forgot to even think about her words. She was smart, beautiful, and loyal; she was so many things I could never be for dad.

Yet she wanted to betray him.

I sat down and shook my head, trying to will these thoughts away. It didn't matter. My future was in question, and my opinion was the most important. If I didn't want to be with my mom, if I claimed she was inappropriate to be my legal guardian, wouldn't it be the most important thing?

Yeah, mom would probably get most of the money when the jury heard Carly's and Sydney's testimonies, but I was a different subject. Completely. I wasn't a thing they could share, or cut in half. I was a person. And I wanted to be with my father. It was for the best, anyway. Mom should've known I'd just un back to him as soon as I turned 18, anyway. And she should've known that if she got the custody, I'd run away without thinking about the consequences.

My life was a mess. Why, o why couldn't mom just wait 2 more years? Why did she want to take me out of here right now? Why couldn't it wait a little bit? It was a really weird coincidence, as if my destiny was laughing at me.

So I sat there, next to Sydney who was waving to Carly. I tried to remember the very reason I didn't flee yet, the very reason I was still sane.

Neil.

I started remembering things chronologically – since the moment I came to Palm Springs. Sydney came at midnight, and she was happy. I really thought I'd like it here too, since I wanted to be with her so badly. But she was cold and distant since when I told her I was sent here as an Alchemist.

She was hiding something, and I didn't like it. Then the next morning I thought it'd be fine, but the first thing she did was calling that Moroi. Then she led me to meet the princess. I saw my very first vampire. I was so brave, I had so much courage in me… but I still froze. It's funny, now that I think about it.

Sydney didn't understand. She hurt me with her words. I mean, what did she do when she saw her first Moroi? Did she chat with him, her or whatever it was? I was fairly certain that it didn't happen that way, but I decided not to tell anything to her.

And then I met Angeline. She was, like, the perfect description of someone uncivilized, but it was my fault. By did I expect something else? Why did I except of her to be nice?

After that Sydney's history teacher showed up and took her away, casually and as if she did this a hundred times already. It was very… creepy, but I appreciated it.

There was definitely something wrong, I knew from the moment I came to Palm Springs.

Then I met Neil. He wasn't like the others, narrowing his eyes at me and eyeing me creepy, with raised eyebrows. He also wasn't like the others, and he was also new. We had many things in common, and I kept thinking about the way he looked at me for the first time. If love at first sight existed, I was experiencing it.

Seeing Neil didn't make me feel afraid and/or superstitious. He was casual, good, wearing normal shirts, and he wasn't a goal man. Still, I couldn't help but hope he'd notice me one day.

And then he did.


	60. Chapter 14, part three: Deciding

**Author's note:**_ This chapter will make you all think those two chapters in my one-shot series are really going to happen in this story. And maybe, just maybe, your thinking is okay ;D_

_I am awful and I know it. But guys, I can't leave Zoe's fabulous chapter like that! I am going to continue it now, and write at least 3k words about it, so survive until tomorrow._

_Okay. That is done, and I'm not sorry because Zoe deserves this. She's not a bad character and I don't want you to see her like that. I had a major, major headache from the lack of sleep and God knows what more, but I slept it off (at least I hope so). It's around 3:30PM, so I have time and I'm not sleepy, FINALLY. Hope this chapter will finally look like something._

_People I love:_

_1. __**Guest**__: Okay, now you made me feel bad, so I'll try to write a long update today. Not sure if my brother will allow it to me, though, but I'll try really hard, okay? And thanks for the review! :)_

_2. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Oh my God, this is such a beautiful review! You just gave me an idea, hope you recognize it through the chapter. Thank you, really, your thoughts are exactly the same as mine. I am honored :)_

_3. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: I know you. You've been waiting for this for MONTHS! ;D_

_4. __**KyKat**__: I am glad you think like that! Of course, Abe always makes things interesting… And dangerous (is that a tip? ;D) Thank you! :)_

_5. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Adrian's role will be… slightly different. You'll get a Sydrian one-shot, of course? But could you be just a little more specific? Because if you don't say anything more, I'll just do a make-out session or something fluffy, and I'm not sure if you want that. Thank you, though, for every single word you ever wrote for me! :)_

_6. __**sheerio4ever**__: Good luck with homework! Wait, can I do anything to help? Because with me, it's drawing of the things I mustn't break in a laboratory :D Yup, Zeil is, like, less scandalous, because Neil is a dhampir, but believe me, it's going to be scandalous. Love you too, my wonderful Irish friend! :)_

_7. __**Lilietje99**__: Wait a second. When I commented on you being a third-grader, it was meant to be like, "I'm third grade too!" because third-grader in my country is the person in the eleventh grade (a year from graduation, if that's it?). So don't tell me you actually thought I was third grade as in third grade of elementary school :O I'm confused… And I have no idea what to say :D I was so tired yesterday, I wrote a sentence "I love the fact that you came here," or something in that context, and then I read it and thought, "Why the hell did you write this, Ehlimana?" So I decided it was enough, no matter how short it is. Thank you so much, I saw the reviews for one-shots so prepare yourself for a very, very long author's note! ;D_

_8. __**Gg**__: Soon, soon. I have to mentally prepare myself for that trial. Thanks for the review! :)_

_9. __**TheHappyLol**__: Never too short for you! :D Squeal more, because another Zeil chapter is coming! Love you, and thanks, my popcorn girl! And did you update P&T? I didn't have time to check :(_

_10. __**marcy503**__: Thank you so, so much! Hope this update came soon enough :)_

_11. __**Sam1405**__: Why re your reviews always so wise, so smart, so wonderful? :D First of all, you have no idea how much that sentence that I've improved means to me. And I'm so glad I can make you smile! :D Imagine me waving at you. Hey, it's not a problem if you can't review, and you know that. I'm just interested if you like it or not, and that is the only important thing, so don't put yourself under pressure. :) Chemistry for 2 years, then I'm going to the university to become a doctor! Hopefully, I'm not going to stab anyone or something. Love you so much, Sam, and thank you! :)_

_12. __**Katrick**__: Thank you, thank you, and thank you again! You are crazy, and you ROCK! :D_

_13. __**HopperIvashkinator**__: I answered your reviews in a PM, sis. I am very proud of myself, because you're proud of me. Love you, so much! :)_

_14. __**bukwurm13**__: Oh my God, you don't have to review those chapters! That is… the nicest thing someone attempted :D Hope you don't think Zoe is so immature later! I mean, I can connect to her, since I'm also 16, and I'm the youngest in the family, I have a sister with many secrets and I can kind of understand her way of thinking. I'm also wondering what Sydney's mom's name is! And that comment, it really made me feel, you know, soft, because you're kind of right! ;D Well I had to, right? And it's the perfect position. Of course, I won't stop until I finish this. After TFH comes out, I won't continue only if I'm too enraged, but we'll see. This does take a big part of my life (the nights, the weekends, the whole summer) but I don't mind. I only mind how I can't tell about it to my parents and they think I'm on Facebook or somewhere, while actually, I'm writing a story about vampires. That'd make them freak out even more :D Thank you, and please PM me about that guy (because I am so, so, so interested!), I've been really busy today! :(_

_4 PM exactly, and I'm starting (and of course, I'm eating too :D). Love you all, guys, keep being awesome! Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you. :)_

_8 PM, and I'm on 1k words. My brother just gave the laptop to me :(_

_Richelle Mead owns these characters… but you already knew that ;D_

Somewhere along the way, I lost my sister.

I kept thinking it was because how I acted when she told dad she wanted to go to Palm Springs, when she embarrassed me in front of everyone.

But no, it wasn't that. It was a long time since we talked, and she had time to cool off. When she saw me at St. Louis, with dad, she was somewhere between a stranger and a memory, but I wrote it off as a hallucination, as the consequence of not talking to her for months.

It didn't matter, I realized later. Sydney became someone else, someone I didn't know. Someone I couldn't talk to anymore, someone who saw me as a burden. Someone who wanted me out of the mission.

Let's be realistic – nobody loved the fact that I came to Palm Springs. The problem was, I expected it to be that way. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I expected from Sydney to hate me, thinking she wanted all the glory for herself. I wasn't so sure now, sitting in the courtroom and looking at her.

But I also saw how the evil creatures interacted with Sydney. Angeline respected her, Jill adored her, Eddie acted as if she was his younger sister. And the Ivashkov boy… I couldn't decipher him for a very long time.

It's like I was stupid and couldn't see them looking at each other while I was pretending to do my homework. As if I couldn't see him smile at her while I was pretending to read a book. As if I couldn't see them just hours ago, in the plane… But I just couldn't comprehend what was going on. I also realized they had a fight not too long ago, and the whole group was full of tension and pressure and coldness.

The worst thing was that they all treated me as if I was a fool. I mean, I wasn't blind or anything! But how were they connected? Even now, I could see her eyes search for him. He either owed her something, or she was afraid of him. There was no other logical explanation. I thought I knew my sister, I really did, but now, looking at her, I realized I didn't know her at all. Just her name, her description and her past. Now, she was just a stranger.

I died to tell her about Neil. I died to ask her if what was happening to me was normal. Was there something evil in me, because I fell in love with someone that was supposed to be evil? Because, it didn't feel that way. It didn't feel like Neil was bad, not at all.

I remember the first word he ever said to me. It was "Zoe." He said it as if he was testing it and the way it sounded.

And the nerd, the retard I am, I blushed and smiled. Was that supposed to be normal? I kept comparing myself with Sydney, but I knew she wouldn't act like dad taught us. She wasn't looking at those creatures as if they were dangerous, evil monsters. She looked at them as if they were family.

That's why I decided not to think about it, and I started talking with Neil. His hands in his pockets, his hair wonderfully styled, a smirk on his face, his eyes glowing, as if he was happy. I wanted to be the reason his eyes were glowing, I wanted it so badly.

You know what was the most shocking thing that ever happened? He _laughed_. Nobody, nobody ever told me vampires and dhampirs could laugh. And he laughed because I said, "You don't have fangs." I mean, was it that funny?

Sydney had no idea, but we were both leading secret lives. I'd pretend I was asleep, and she'd go somewhere. Then I'd go somewhere too. At first, it was very easy because we were at Clarence's for holidays. Neil's room was 14 steps away (and yes, I knew it by heart).

First I told him how I felt about dhampirs. I told him what I was taught and how I had no idea why I even came to his room and told him that, how it was all seriously wrong.

He didn't judge me, he didn't try to defend anyone, he just listened with narrowed, but warm eyes and nodded along. When he didn't say anything after I was done with my stupid statements and doubts.

That's why I decided to tell him about Sydney and everything that was weird with her. I kept finding myself tip-toeing into his room, while Sydney was sneaking out somewhere else. I never had the courage to follow her, afraid of what I might discover.

Sometimes I thought she was a blood-dealer, like Keith was. I kept thinking she framed him because he discovered what she was doing. I thought he was just a burden that could prevent her from getting to her goal – power.

In this courtroom, I wasn't so sure. My sister was full of secrets, and so was I. my sister was probably doing something illegal, and I…

I was in love with a dhampir. If Sydney knew that, she'd strangle me. She'd send me to dad and he'd kill me at Re-education. That's why I couldn't tell her, though I wanted to, badly.

Now, how did that happen? Just talking to him and seeing that handsome face and body of his wouldn't be enough, obviously. Yeah, I was a 16-year-old girl, and I fell in love with almost every guy (though I had to stop being in love with Adrian, because Sydney went crazy when I started talking about it), but it wouldn't go any further, if it was just that.

It wasn't. You see, the divorce happened and I needed a therapeutic session. I needed to talk with someone, and I wasn't able to talk with Sydney. So I found Neil, cried a bit about everything, he listened and actually _touched_ me. It was a moment I'd never forget.

I was sitting on his bed, wiping my tears, wanting to leave and bury myself in the ground. I mean, a guy just saw me cry! Was there anything more embarrassing than that?

And then his hand touched my face. I instantly froze, his hand just an inch from mine, and I looked at him. He was smiling, and he told me everything would be okay. His hand lingered on my cheek for a moment, tracing the lily pattern, and then it was gone. My face felt colder, emptier without it, and there was the beautiful sensation, like electric current, lingering on my cheek.

I realized dhampirs were warm. And I realized my body responded to his touch. That made me totally freak out.

I tried to stay away from him, I really did. I tried to keep our connection casual, I tried to keep it business, but of course it didn't work. My body craved for his touch, and I wasn't sure if that was because it was never touched before, or because it was him. I was jealous because Angeline and Jill pretended to be in love with Neil, while he was just a diversion for them. That made me feel angrier, and I hated them more.

But neither Neil nor I actually wanted to stop this. I kept coming back to him, telling him how Sydney's behavior was strange or how I had a fight with her, or something, anything. It all ended up with Sydney, but actually, she was just an excuse for me to spend time with Neil.

And Neil also talked with me, since he had no one else to talk with. He told me how he had a very strict father and that he made him go to a very strict school in England. He told me how he still wore scars from the time he spent there, and how his father was still in control. He was his only son, and he wanted him to become a soldier, like all dhampirs should be.

In that moment I realized how dhampirs were leaving beings like myself. They also had class differences, like humans did, and dhampirs were the lowest on the scale, and it didn't matter who they were, they were always beneath the Moroi. They needed the vampires for their race's survival, since dhampirs couldn't reproduce among themselves, so they did anything and everything to protect them, while they were often treated like cheap people. Only the most lucky ones got to stay with their partners and children.

It made me really sad, but I kept thinking if dhampirs and humans could reproduce. Technically, Moroi and humans could make dhampir offspring but it was a taboo. What about the other solution? It was unheard of, as far as I knew, but when I asked Neil about it, he just grinned at me.

That's when we started to… make a plan, a dream, something entirely impossible, but we still kept talking about it. The Alchemists were those who prevented humans for reproducing with vampires and dhampirs – Jill and others who lived among humans were a proof it could be easily hidden, up to a certain scale.

So logically, if the Alchemists changed their way of working, allowing dhampirs and Moroi to live and reproduce with humans, the problem would be solved. We'd have new dhampirs and Moroi wouldn't be dependent on Moroi anymore – the classes would change and dhampirs would be equals.

Neil dreamed about that scenario. It was obvious how he was raised thinking dhampirs were soldiers, talking tools, nothing more, and this way of thinking was totally different for him.

I laughed at him. It was the middle of the night, and we were supposed to be hiding in his room, and school was starting tomorrow, but I didn't care – his glowing eyes, his happy, dreaming face was so hilarious, that I started to laugh like a crazy person.

Neil looked up at me, and I noticed how handsome he was. I shifted my gaze so that I looked anywhere, but at him, and I was sure I was blushing as hell.

And then he came closer, tilted my chin upwards, and kissed me.

It was mind-altering, that kiss. My first kiss. With a dhampir.

That was the first and the last thought that crossed my mind. I kissed him back, put my hands around his neck, and we ended up on the bed.

It really was beautiful, but I was gasping after only a few seconds, so Neil pulled back, chuckling. That made me hit his chest and he caught my wrist and… yeah, we were in that room until at least 3 AM. He really let me get used to those feelings, since I was very much new to all of this.

I knew it was scandalous and that I'd be dead if the Alchemists knew. I'd be forgotten if dad found out, but somehow, I couldn't bring myself to care.

That's why my stomach shifted uneasily when I looked at dad. If he knew, he'd be disappointed. All I tried my whole life was not to disappoint him… I just couldn't leave Neil. It'd break us both in half, and it'd be pointless because I was madly in love with him.

Neil and I had a plan – a real one. He convinced me not to tell Sydney about us – though I really wanted to. He convinced me to act like I was still caught up in the Alchemist beliefs, so I "freaked out" when I found out the queen was pregnant – and I did, in a way. I mean, hello! She was 18! And she wasn't married! We were raised in a strict Christian family, which meant Carly, Sydney and I knew we wouldn't have sex until we were married.

That, being pregnant, was kind of disgusting in that age. And they were all cool about it, except for the dhampir, Rose, who looked as if the queen did something very bad to her.

I didn't care. So Sydney didn't know about Neil and me – check. Sydney thought I was still a straightforward Alchemist – check. Sydney thought I was going to testify in dad's favor – check. Neil told me to, but I wasn't sure. I loved dad. I wanted to be with him. But if it meant losing Neil, how could I?

He told me we'd hide and that we'd run away somewhere, perhaps South America. He had siblings there, and we'd be safe. But running away… did I love Neil that much?

Yes, I decided after he kissed me fiercely. Yes, I confirmed when his hands touched the back of my neck.

And yes, I concluded when he told me he loved me.

Now what could I do, except sit here, in this courtroom, waiting for mom to finally show up? I could just close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Mom then finally came, and I wasn't really shocked to see a Moroi, Ibrahim Mazur, as her lawyer. She always was kind of crazy, if you asked me.

Others? They weren't as indifferent as I was. This was an Alchemist court, after all, and people started to rise from their stools, shouting inappropriate things at mom. She didn't even turn around.

I just leaned towards Sydney, aching to feel safe. This could erupt into a war in a second. "I'm scared," I tried to say over the noise.

Sydney looked at me with a warm look, and for a second, she was my sister again. I could see the secrets in her eyes, and I could see mine reflected in them. "Me too, Zoe," she said softly. And then it was gone, and she was cold and distant again.

"Silence!" the judge said, hitting the desk with a wooden hammer. "This is a court, not a market!"

Dad's lawyer stood up. "But your honor, this woman here is offending us by bringing a… creature to this trial." He said it with a massive amount of disgust in his tone.

The judge turned towards mom. "Miss, could you explain why you brought a Moroi to this trial?" he said in an even tone.

Mom nodded, a smile crossing her face. He was a very positive person, like Carly. Sydney and I… we were different. I was like dad, but like mom, too, and Sydney… she looked just like dad. There was nothing of mom's features she inherited – not the hair color, not the eye color, not the nose, the cheekbones, the frame, the height, the weight… nothing. If someone saw her next to mom, he'd never think they were a mother and a daughter.

I willed the thoughts away, tuning in to what mom was saying. "Your honor, I brought Mr. Abe here because he is the best lawyer in the country. People told me he's the only person that can defend me properly, and I decided to go with the best. I wasn't aware that it would offend the court, but I want to do this as faster and as professional as possible."

The judge just said a short, "Hmmm," but he nodded. Dad's lawyer looked like he was going to puke, so dad caught his arm and pulled him downwards.

"All right," the judge said with a fluent voice. "May the trial begin."

He started reading the subject, who sued who and who wanted what, when mom and dad married, how many children and possessions they had, who already agreed on what and what things were the problem.

"May Carly Sage come here," the judge finally said. He obviously wanted to do this as fast as possible.

Carly immediately stood up, as glorious as she was. She was my sister, but I was jealous. She was so beautiful, with her long hair, high heels, red shirt and long, yellow skirt… and it was winter. She managed to look not like a clown, but like a real lady.

As she swore her oath, I found myself panicking. What if the court decided not to even bother with asking for my opinion? What if it didn't matter?

Dad turned around, as if he could hear me, and he winked at me. That just made me more nervous. What would I say, what would I say?

_The truth_, mom's words rang in my head. _I just want the truth_.

Carly did just that. When Abe and dad's lawyer started asking her weird questions such as, "Who washed the dishes?" or "How much time did your mother spend watching TV?" she answered with truthful answers. She also told them she rarely saw her dad, since he was always on some trip with the Alchemists or Keith, and judge started saying, "Hmmm" again.

"Sydney Sage, please come here," the judge continued. Sydney nodded and stood up, and I couldn't help but be jealous at her too. I mean, she was so beautiful, even more than Carly, with her blonde wavy hair. And why was she prettier than Carly? Because she had no idea. She didn't put make-up on, she didn't go out (except for that Jet guy, but his name was obviously fake), and yet she was so beautiful.

I sighed, and Sydney started swearing her oath. She knew it by heart, of course, and that made me laugh. My sister, always crazy about the details, and always missing the main picture because of them.

Sydney was also asked weird questions such as, "Did your parents ever lock you in the basement?" or, "Did your father ever hit you?" Sydney followed Carly's example and told the truth – how dad once slapped her because she broke an important Alchemist glass. This trial was definitely going to be awful for dad, judging by their testimonies – and the truth.

Too soon, it was over. "Miss Zoe, step closer," the judge's voice rang in my head.

I took a deep breath and got up. Sydney brushed my hand with her – that was always our sign for "Don't be afraid, I'm here for you." It made me feel better, knowing that part of my sister was still alive.

I swore my oath quickly, too quickly, and soon I was sitting in the interrogation chair.

"Zoe," Abe's voice said, "Could you tell me if you ever disappointed your father?" he said.

I looked at him, not knowing what to say – should I lie? Should I tell something that'd go in his favor? Should I tell something believable, but untrue?

"Yes," I suddenly said. "Yes, I did."

This trial was so going to kill me.


	61. Chapter 14, part four: The Confusion

**Author's note:**_ Oh, okay. Today the problem is my stomach – I lifted a bag that was too heavy and now the right side of my stomach hurts… Hope it'll be okay, though my mom is scaring me with saying I'd have to go to an operation if something weird happened :(_

_I've already written three updates (around 11k words) today, so this was a very productive day! Expect something similar tomorrow too :)_

_1.__** Mabes123**__: Oh, thank you so much, new reviewer! I am very glad you think my story is awesome :)_

_2. __**TheHappyLol**__: Oh my God, don't hurt yourself! :D Don't worry, things are going to complicate. Of course I'll help you with P&T, please write a PM about what you want to write and I'll respond as soon as I can! You know I'll help as much as I can and whenever I can :) And you'd rather Zoe was in love with Adrian? :O Love you, and thanks for everything! Your every review makes me laugh._

_3. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: Well, something similar is probably going to happen, but I still don't know! All plans I had somehow managed to become nothing, so I'll just follow the story and see where it takes me. Yup, way to go, Zoe! Thank you so much for the support :)_

_4. __**marcy503**__: Thank you so much! Hope this update didn't come too late :)_

_5. __**Lilietje99**__: I'm so glad you liked the change! I was constantly feeling like I was owning this to Zoe. I also had a problem with Lissa, but managed to solve it with a one-shot, and now we don't know only Rose's thoughts. I'm not sure how I'll solve that problem, but we'll see where the chapters lead me. __Now this is for everyone: I accidentaly forgot to mention the reason why Zoe wants to be on Jared's side, obviously. It's because she knows that, if she chooses mom, she'd be taken away from the Alchemists and that'd be mean from Neil, too. If she stays on dad's side, she'll be an Alchemist and will manage to work it out with Neil somehow__. I am so sorry for forgetting to mention this, it is very important! Thank you so much, my awesome friend. I love you very, very much :)_

_6. __**sheerio4ever**__: It's been a lovely day with so many updates, right? Hmm. Algebra would mean numbers, like, equations and so, right? And inequalities means these signs: and similar? Because I'm sure I know, my best friend is math! Okay, if you already PM-ed me about it, I'm so sorry for not answering and I will, as soon as I update, I promise. And we'll see who she picks in this very chapter! Love you very much, and thank you for everything. :)_

_7. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Just imagine me and an evil grin again! And I'm giggling. Of course, I'll put it on the list (and I told that to so many people today, I can't even keep track of it anymore). Thank you, thank you for the support! You're awesome :D_

_8. __**ranDomXx**__: Ah, people just want to make it harder on themselves. I got this one review (and don't feel pressured about it, it's okay!), and we'll see about Abe ;D Thank you!_

_9. __**Holly**__: Oh, a long review! I'm excited :D Awwh, your words are beautiful and they mean so much to me. I really try to make us all happy. Hmm, am I doing the same thing as in the one-shots? I don't know (and that's a lie, since I know how the story's going to end! ;D) That is definitely my plan if Sydney goes to Re-education. You are crazy and that is wonderful! Love you and this beautiful review :)_

_10. __**The Banana Kaba**__: A new reviewer! :D No problem for no logging in, I won't be able to PM anyone until the end of the next week (hopefully!). Thank you for sharing your brilliant thoughts with me and love you too! :)_

_11. __**DoughnutsForever**__: I've been asking myself that question since forever! I don't really get the concept of "Moroi+dhampir=dhampir" because it makes no sense, the baby is 75 percent vampire! This was, the baby would be 25 percent vampire, and they'd both be called dhampirs? I mean, there has to be a difference. I decided to call the pairing Zeil, and I don't care anymore. I also decided to call it Trengeline, because it's the most normal version (compared to Anrey?)Thank you so much for those beautiful words and love you! :)_

_12. __**bukwurm13**__: Oh, can't wait for tomorrow and that PM! I don't read that much (I read about 100 books total, in my whole life), but I talk a lot with my parents and I really picked up on a lot of things, wise things from them :D And actually, I've been in a really serious relationship once… (blushing) Well, my parents are around 50, and I don't have a lot of friends of my age, so I guess it's okay! :D My parents think that the whole internet is all about Facebook, so if they see me sitting and typing on the laptop, they immediately say "get off that Facebook already!" when in fact I don't even use Facebook that much (rolling my eyes at that, so PM me as soon as possible! :D) Ah, Zoe is getting on my nerves too! I'm just trying to make her likeable for all of us and that we won't judge her when she does something really stupid in Richelle's TFH. Yup, they're both going to freak out, but it's funny! :D Thank you so much for that other part. It is beautiful :) Thank you, and I love you really much and am sending tons of hugs to you! :)_

_You crazy girl, reviewing first chapters! You really don't need to :O_

_Okay, now let's answer these two you've written so far :D I actually expected Richelle to do the same, but she kind of skipped the introductions and the interesting parts. I kept thinking about what'd Zoe think when she saw Adrian, and then Richelle kind of… just didn't do it, and I was honestly disappointed. It also took me a while to get into Adrian's character and way of thoughts, but my brother is much like him so by observing him, I found a way to channel Adrian into my thoughts :D And I'll take the advice on persons-people! Love you :)_

_13. __**Katrick**__: I am glad I managed to change your opinion of Zoe! Thank you, thank you so much. You are awesome! :D_

_14. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Yeah, I wish that too. Love you! :)_

_This one is also short, but not because I'm tired. It's because there's only one tweet left for the chapter, and I'm moving onto Adrian's POV tomorrow. Hope this will keep you until tomorrow morning (yes, I'll write the chapter first and then one-shots!), since it's very interesting._

_Richelle Mead owns these characters… but you already knew that ;D_

Zoe stepped forward, and she was obviously really nervous. I loved my sister very much, and I resisted the urge to shield her from these people with my body.

Dad's lawyer was awful, and he knew what he was aiming to. He kept trying to make mom seem inappropriate, but neither Carly nor I gave him the opportunity to do so. Now it all depended on Zoe. She must've been able to see how bad dad was, how much she wanted to take from mom, and how much it'd hurt her if Zoe lied.

Words were ringing in my head: _I just want you to tell the truth_. Oh, mom, if only things were different. I just needed her hug in that moment, knowing I'd feel safe.

Zoe quickly gave her oath, and I kept asking myself if it'd stop her from lying. Everything was still in the room, as if they all knew Zoe wasn't sure what decision she should make.

Abe stepped forward first, with a crazy grin on his face. His fangs were almost visible. As crazy as it was, I felt safer with the old man in the room. I could feel Rose's and Dimitri's gazes on me – they were ready to protect me if something happened. Neil was probably near Zoe, and Angeline stayed behind, her responsibility protecting Adrian and Trey. We could do this together. We could somehow save Jill in the process too.

"Does your mom drink alcohol?" Abe started gently.

Zoe immediately shook her head. "No. Mom never drank a glass of wine in her life, much less anything stronger."

Everyone in the room gasped. But why was she… telling the truth?

I glanced at mom. She was wiping her cheeks – she was crying. It meant she didn't lose her daughter, at least not yet.

"Did your mother ever upset your father?" Jared's lawyer asked, as if nothing weird was going on.

Zoe shook her head. "No. She never upset him with a reason. He got upset every time she tried to keep us safe from his Alchemist methods and tortures. She managed to do it most of the time, but Sydney was too far gone for her to help her anymore. She almost lost me too – I think that is the reason she decided to leave dad. Or it was simply the fact that he thought of us as things, and not as persons anymore." She said it with obvious disgust, looking at dad. I had to clasp my hand over my mouth, trying to compose myself.

Oh my God. Dad was going to do something… awful to her. I wasn't even worried about myself anymore. Zoe was a certainty for him, a card he held in his hands. But why was she telling the truth? She had to have some motive. People didn't change overnight.

Dad stood up. "Your honor, I don't think an underage is capable of judging…"

The judge hit the table with the wooden hammer. "Jared Sage, you may not interrupt the testimony. If you try it again, I will make sure that you're led away from the trial. We can continue without you, and I hope you're aware of that."

Dad's face was as red as a Strigoi's eyes. It was obvious that he was angry and betrayed by everyone he counted on – his daughters, the Alchemist judge… even his lawyer was tired of asking weird questions.

Dad lost, and he wasn't a man that admitted it easily. He was going to fight against the decision and kill everyone guilty for it.

"But your honor," dad said again, "There is another witness."

The judge was almost hitting the table with the hammer again, but he stopped with it still in the air. "And who may that be?"

I didn't hear what dad said next, because someone was pulling me from the chair I was sitting in. I struggled to break free, but I realized I was almost being carried. All protests died in me when I saw who was carrying me.

"Adrian?" I whispered, frowning. "What are you doing here?"

He shook his head, and we didn't talk until I was out of the court, safe in his embrace.

"Okay, will you tell me now? It was dangerous down there!"

Adrian touched my face with his hands, as if he was reassuring himself I was fine. "Oh, Sydney, you have no idea," he said in a near-whisper. "You have no idea how dangerous it is."

I frowned. "What happened?" Then realization hit me, and I struggled to break free from his grasp. "Oh my God, Adrian, Zoe is down there! I have to get her!"

Adrian's grip was firm, and I couldn't get away. "Three trained guardians are there, and Abe Mazur is, too. Nothing will happen to her. You, on the other hand…"

I went limp in his arms. He was right, but thoughts were rushing through my head – why was it dangerous just for me? What was going to happen down there? Was it something about mom, dad, why was it connected with me and not with Zoe or Carly?

Adrian obviously saw the expression on my face, and he smiled reassuringly. It didn't manage to do anything, though. "Everything's okay. It's just the…. The witness. Jared has a backup plan."

I leaned back to look into his eyes. "What? But how do you know that? And who is it?"

Adrian gulped. "I saw him… in the hallway."

I shut my eyes tightly. "Just don't tell me Keith's going to play his son," I whispered.

Adrian didn't laugh. "No, it's someone much, much worse."

I opened my eyes. Adrian took a deep breath and said, "Marcus Finch."

I frowned. "_Marcus Finch_?" I asked in disbelief. "But what does he have to do with anything? He doesn't even know dad! What could he possibly say?"

And then I saw something in Adrian's eyes, something scary. Something that told me he was lying. His tone was even, though, and I wrote it off as a hallucination. "He's working for the Alchemists, I already told you that," he said gently. "And he's going to play your mother's lover."

"But that's impossible," I breathed. "That makes no sense. Mom is 40 and he's around 20…"

Adrian pulled me into an embrace. "That's why I had to take you away from there," he whispered. "It'd just hurt you more to hear his lies."

I nodded. "Thank you," I whispered back. "I'm not able to control my emotions lately."

Adrian kissed my cheek, and I tried to reassure myself everything would somehow be okay and that something would actually make sense soon.

It didn't work, though.


	62. Chapter 15, part one: She's Safe

**Author's note:**_ I was busy with TheHappyLol's Pain And Torment (it's the story I'm addicted to, and I helped my friend and wrote a chapter for it), so I'm writing this now, and not 3 hours earlier. Expect at least one one-shot today too! :)_

_1. __**bukwurm13**__: Crazy girl, reviewing earlier chapters :D "Red hurricane" came straight from my imagination, it looked like something Abe would choose – stylish, illegal, and hilarious :D Yup, everyone told me that Sydney sounded a bit needy, but I needed to bring the conversation to Adrian! ;D Marcus is definitely a… complicated person, and his motives will remain hidden (hopefully) for another 5-10 chapters. I know why he's doing what he's doing, but I don't want to uncover it just yet. And Daddy's books are important for him, definitely ;D I knew that when you made a profile, it'd be a totally different thing. I really enjoy talking to you, thank you for listening to me. And thank you in general. Love you! :)_

_2. __**sheerio4ever**__: High five for Maths! Love you too :)_

_3. __**TheHappyLol**__: Yup, nobody can stand in the path of Sydrian. You are my soda girl! :D And oh my God, POPCORN GIRL IS BACK! RUN AWAY AS FAST AND AS FAR AS YOU CAN. Oh God, I'm laughing :D_

_4. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Yup, she's going to kill him (Adrian or Marcus? Or both? :D). I love your optimism, it's reflecting mine. ;D_

_5. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: You all got it wrong, but you'll see it in this chapter! It just makes my story more confusing. Thank you so much! :)_

_6. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Okay, I'm going to be honest – I'm trying not to laugh. I am not Richelle! How can you even think something like that? She'd kill me if she read your reviews in which you actually compare me with her! I'm not even as half as good as she is. Don't get a heart attack! It's maybe going to be okay :D Let me give you a hug, tell you I love you and thank you! :)_

_7. __**KyKat**__: Your thinking might prove good ;D I'd really say more, but I have no idea. Just thank you! :)_

_8. __**DoughnutsForever**__: To be honest, it hurts, but there aren't any physical changes (if there were, I'd have to go on an operation), thankfully. I'm so glad you loved the chapter! And I'm really confused about dhampirs made from dhampirs and human and between dhampirs made from Moroi and dhampirs, and there's the real dhampir race of Moroi and humans. It's all just so… complicated. So if they had different abilities, Rose's (since she is a product of Moroi+dhampir relationship) abilities would be stronger than Angeline's (since she is a product of Moroi+human relationship), and there'd be the weakest person made from dhampir+human relationship, but they're all called dhampirs? There should be some names for them, like alpha, beta and gamma :D Anrey sounds kind of weird. Thank you so much for your wonderful words, love you too! :D_

_9. __**marcy503**__: Do you want the truth? I didn't see it either ;D Thank you so much! :D_

_10. __**Katrick**__: You got it wrong too, hopefully it'll be cleared out in this chapter :D Thank you so much, you are wonderful! :)_

_For my sister __**HopperIvashkinator**__, don't rush. When you have time, review. And know that I love you very, very much and that I believe in you – you'll blow them off with your answers at that biology exams! Show'em :D_

_This chapter came out very weird, and I hope you don't mind. I'm in a very weird state today, so it's understandable, I hope :D_

_For everyone that is confused (like Percabethlvrknowsall ;D), I am not Richelle Mead._

Lying to Sydney was like cutting myself with a knife. It was like ripping my heart out and stepping on it.

Exactly my feelings when Sydney actually believed me, her fragile, vulnerable golden eyes too big for my sense of guilt not to trigger.

I gulped. It didn't matter. I'd fight the guilt for my whole life, if it meant keeping her safe.

She almost found out Marcus was her brother. I was preparing myself for making a spectacular entrance when Zoe finished her testimony, and then I heard that rat in the hallway.

"I'm going to have to testify," he said to someone. "Zoe betrayed him, so I'm his only card. I'll tell them mom left me, like she did, and that dad raised me to be the perfect Alchemist."

"But how will you explain the indigo tattoo, Marc?" a woman said. She was smart, I had to admit that. "They know you're a dropout. You'll just make things worse."

"No. I'm not a dropout, Sabrina. I'm just not her son, and that's why Jared hid me for so long. He didn't want any records of me to exist. I had to act like an ex-Alchemist."

My eyes widened. So Marcus was a… bastard, by the definition. And Sabrina was the girl Sydney talked to me about. She was the one that always carried a gun with her. Wasn't she a part of the group, too? Wasn't she supposed to be angry, shocked, or anything?

Her voice was perfectly cold, as if she already knew all of this. "And you had to drag your sister into all of this, didn't you? She would've been safer if she hadn't known. What do you think her reaction will be? Because she won't hug you and say hello, that's for sure."

Wait a second. If she referred to Sydney as his sister… I was officially confused.

"Well, it's how it is now," Marcus said with a note of annoyance. "She'll have to accept it. I believe it's my turn now."

That was the sign for me to compel the guard of the side door for the courtroom, run into the room, find Sydney – believe me, it wasn't an easy job without her aura as a guide – and drag her as far away from there as possible.

So now I had to feel guilty for the rest of my life. If Sydney knew I was lying to her, she'd kill me. I just wasn't sure if she'd put me out in the sun and watch me slowly die, or she'd leave me without blood for a week. The effect would be the same.

But, saying he was pretending to be _her mom's lover_? What kind of a lie is that? It was the first believable thing that came up to my mind, actually. My thoughts were creepy.

"You're doing it again," Sydney suddenly said, and I returned to the reality – Sydney and I were standing in the empty hallway of this creepy court, my hands on her hips and her hands around my neck. We were locked in that passionate embrace, and I thanked God a million times for sending her to me.

I also cursed myself for lying to her. She deserved so much more, but what choice did I have? If she knew the truth, it'd hurt her. If she didn't, she'd be safe. My only choice was to protect her and feel guilty because of it.

"Doing what?" I gently said, losing myself in the depts of her eyes.

"You're scaring me again. You zoned out, and I thought it was spirit." Sydney's face was looking really concerned.

I smiled. "No. I was just thinking."

"About what?" Sydney whispered. It was obvious what was going to happen next. I was too happy for having her here to pretend otherwise. And we were alone, after all.

"You," I said as I tilted her chin up and our lips met. I was so scared that I was going to lose her, but she was here, in my arms, and she was safe. I tried to pour those emotions out through the kiss, and I probably would've managed to do it, if only we weren't interrupted.

I stopped, hearing something in the distance. It sounded as if a mass of people was shouting – everyone in the same time, and I frowned, moving away an inch from Sydney.

"What is it?" she asked, concern evident in her expression.

"Something's happening," I said. "People are shouting. I can't hear what exactly, though; we're too far away."

Sydney looked even more concerned after that. "If something happens to my sisters…"

I cut her off. "It won't. They aren't in danger. The guardians will protect them. And now I need to protect you, so let's go."

I turned towards the entrance, but Sydney shook her head. "But what about Jill, Adrian?"

"You'll do the spell again," I said, and the voices were growing louder. I was impatient – we didn't have much more time. "We need to get out of here now, Sydney."

Sydney blinked, glanced at the opposite direction, and then nodded. My plan worked – calling her _Sydney_ always worked, thankfully.

And in the next moment, we were getting out of the court, the voices behind us getting louder and louder, so that now even Sydney was able to hear.

"What are they saying?" Sydney said as we ran down the stairs. I was as careful as I could, trying to keep up her pace and not go too fast.

I gulped. "Something happened," I said. "They're talking about some decision, something that isn't fair."

Sydney didn't say anything. Outside were Angeline and Trey, and they were waiting for us, as agreed.

"What about Zoe and the rest?" Angeline said, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head. "They can take care of themselves. I'm not leaving Sydney out there on her own, not for a second longer."

But of course, nothing could go as I planned it. "Hey, Sydney," an awful, familiar voice said, making the hair on my neck stand upwards. "I didn't know you liked to hold hands with vampires. Handshakes are bad enough."

Sydney gasped. I had to act – as fast as possible. But what could I do? Keith Darnell was approaching us with a victorious smirk on his face. We were standing in a garden, on grass, and there was no weapon I could take. Nothing. I didn't have my magic; I didn't have physical strength… I was practically powerless against him. I tried to shield Sydney with my body. She didn't have to watch his ugly face and I could at least help with that.

"You know nothing, Keith," Sydney said behind me. To me, she whispered, "I can take him down with magic, but he saw us. I can't erase his memory."

No. She couldn't erase his memory, but I could.

Compulsion.

If only I had access to my magic…

"Oh, I know enough," Keith said, grinning. "I knew it since you came here, but nobody listened. I knew you were a vampire lover. But honestly? I didn't think you were going to take it this far. I mean, sleeping with one of them, it's… despicable."

Oh, he overdid it. My hand automatically started towards his face, but Sydney stopped me. I looked at her, bewildered. How could she be so calm when he was saying those things? I had to protect her dignity.

Sydney shook her head, fire in her eyes. "Don't. It's what he wants." In a louder voice, she continued. "He can't do anything to us. No one would trust him."

Keith tsked, his hands in his pockets. He was even uglier than how I remembered him, with that glass eye that made me remember how awesome and vengeful my girlfriend was. His other eye, and his whole face, actually, was completely empty. He was a body without soul, only anger, hate and jealousy left inside of him.

"I see you haven't changed, naïve girl," Keith continued. I felt something stir inside of me. That's right, Darnell. Just give me one more minute. Meanwhile, I tried to shield Sydney from him as much as I could. She was shivering, and no matter how brave she pretended to be, I knew she was scared like hell.

I was scared like hell.

"A month in Re-education would surely help you," Keith continued. I saw Angeline in my peripheral vision, preparing to strike him, and when she caught my eye, I shook my head. She frowned and moved away a bit, but she was still close enough to him to disarm him if needed.

"And not a year there would help you," I said, disgusted. "Should I remind you that you're a rapist? And that you took an elder's blood for your own greedy purposes? I'd say that you're more appropriate and… appealing candidate."

Keith's face twisted into an enraged mask, and I contemplated whether I should've said that or not. I needed a second more, just a second to get my weapons back. I could already feel the power arise in me. If only I could solve things my way…

"You know what, bloodsucker? I'm going to cut you into pieces and feed you to my dog, even if it poisons him," Keith said and got something out of his pocket.

A knife. Wow. Why wasn't I expecting something as… boring as a knife? I mean, it was the most harmless thing in the world. If he had a gun, it might've been slightly different, but a knife? Seriously?

"Oh my God," Sydney whispered behind me and grabbed my wrists, pulling me closer to her, "Get out of there. He'll hurt you."

I rolled my eyes. Women. As if I never handled a knife before in my life.

But within the next moment, it looked like I wouldn't have to prove that point. Angeline kicked Keith from behind in a very, very painful place that made me shut my eyes tightly in empathy, and the knife fell out of his hand as he cried out in pain. Angeline was looking down at him, and she was grinning.

The Keepers: one, the Alchemists: zero.

I felt it in me. Finally, it was back. And I was going to use it.

I ran towards Keith, picked his pained face from the ground, and growled, "Look at me."

Keith opened his eye, and I realized he'd be much easier to compel, since it was easier to focus on one eye than on two.

"You are going to forget what happened here," I firmly said. "You are going to forget you saw Sydney, or me, or anyone else. Understand?"

My power didn't come back to me fully yet, and Keith was obviously tougher since he was fresh from Re-education, so it didn't work. He frowned and shook his head.

I tried again, summoning up as much power as I could possibly find in myself. "Forget the last 10 minutes," I growled.

Keith shook his head again. "Why would I forget the last 10 minutes?" he said, confused.

In the next moment, someone caught my hand, and I felt a new rush of power. I didn't need to glance up to see who it was – it was Sydney. I knew the touch of her power as if it was my own.

"You are going to forget you saw Sydney, me and Angeline here," I said calmly, controlling myself. It was easier when I felt the rush of magic, the heat of Sydney's touch and the warm energy her magic provided. It all calmed me down. "And you are going to forget everything that happened in the last 15 minutes," I continued.

"Okay," Keith slowly said, his eye turning as glassy as his other one, made from real glass.

He was compelled. I did it – I saved us with my magic.

I sighed in relief, but there was no time for that. I quickly stood up and pulled Sydney up with me. Keith was left on the floor, still feeling the aftereffects of Angeline's impact, I guessed. I didn't care – all I knew was that the voices were getting closer and closer, and that I had to get Sydney away from here. The longer we stayed, the more the chance was someone was going to see her with me, and I couldn't compel all those people.

Unfortunately, the darkness was also coming back, and I asked it nicely not to manifest, at least not yet. I had pills in my car and in my jacket, but none of those were close by. The Mustang was in Palm Springs, and my jacket…. It was around here somewhere. It had to be.

So basically, Sydney, I, Trey and Angeline were running through the yard, and we had no idea what we were running from, though I had an idea.

I was almost certain the trial was over, and that the judge decided something a lot of people didn't like.

Angeline and I heard voices, since our hearing was better than Trey's and Sydney's.

"But how can it be discussed separately? That makes no sense!" an enraged voice was saying, while someone else was saying, "Mrs. Sage, what is your opinion on this matter?"

I frowned. Did that mean there was no decision? But it'd only make the problems deeper, and it was awfully looking like…

Stalling. So Jared was stalling, wanting to take his daughter away anyway? Or bribe someone else?

I didn't know what that man wanted to do, and honestly, I didn't care. I just wanted to save Jill and get Sydney as far away from here as possible.

But how would we find Jill? I decided to think about it later.

It's unbelievable, but we actually had a plan that we were able to put into action. Out of so many guesses (which even included my hair being put on fire by Keith), one was that something was going to make us all divide into groups, so we made a meeting place – a safe house, as secrets agents would say, where we'd all show up sooner or later.

The place was normal, and it contained supplies and guardians' weapons if we were in need for protection. I didn't like that _weapons_ part at first, but now I contemplated whether I should take a stake out myself.

And the darkness was returning. I could feel it preparing to consume me, but I willed it away. Just an hour more, I begged it. Just until Sydney is safe. Just until we work this out.

But unfortunately, Sydney picked up on it. She knew something was wrong, because she was a smart girl.

"The magic is back," she said in a near-whisper, as if she was afraid of what it implied. "You used compulsion."

I nodded. "And the darkness is back with it," I said as I sank to the couch. I was tired mentally because of spirit, and I was tired physically because we were running for almost twenty minutes, and I wasn't in the best physical shape.

Sydney took my face in her hands. "The pills?"

I shook my head. "In my jacket, and in the Mustang."

Sydney sighed. "I'm going to the pharmacy to pick some up for you."

I took her wrists in my hands, looking her in the eyes pointedly. "No, you aren't. It's dangerous out there. If anyone has to go, it's me. Besides, I can compel the saleswoman."

"You might, if you don't freeze before that happens," Sydney snapped.

Angeline and Trey were watching us awkwardly, and Sydney noticed their looks, so she quieted down a bit. "You promised to let me do things my way. This is my way. And Angeline can go with me to keep me safe, even though I think nobody's actively looking for me."

That didn't manage to soothe me. "Sage, I don't want to expose you – not even if the chances are minimal – because of something as trivial as _spirit darkness_!"

Sydney's eyes widened a bit. "Spirit darkness isn't trivial, Adrian," she whispered. "And it's getting worse by the second. I can actually feel it in you." I leaned into her touch, because it always managed to make me feel better, but it wasn't helping much.

"I'm going," Sydney said, and before I could even open my eyes, she pressed her lips on mine.

I opened my eyes in shock. Didn't she know Angeline and Trey were here? And one of them was actually giggling, if my hearing was correct.

Sydney obviously didn't care. We were kissing for several heated moments and I kept thinking how it wasn't enough, how it was never enough. I could never have enough of her.

She was gone in a moment, though, making the darkness appear. She whispered, "Talk to him and don't let him zone out, not even for a moment," to Trey and that was it.

The room was silent, and I was fighting the shadows. I could already see Aunt Tatiana's face in the distance, smiling at me.

"Hey, man," Trey said. This was going to be awkward. "I know this is going to be awkward," he voiced my thoughts, "but you have to stay here. Don't zone out or… whatever it is you're doing right now."

I tried to ignore my aunt's face and her waving hand. This was all becoming hilarious, and I knew I was going crazy. I focused on Trey, turning my head to look at him. "Okay. So let's talk until the cavalry comes back."

Trey smirked. "You bet."

So we talked. We talked a bit about normal themes – football, world wars, girls, but we kept coming back to the Alchemists, their plans, _our girls_, the way we handled them, and all of those abnormal things that our lives were consisted of.

"So I actually found a boyfriend for her," Trey said, looking at the ceiling and smiling, "And they were, like, the perfect couple. When she asked him if he spoke Latin, you know what he answered?"

I grinned. I actually liked this Trey guy – he was joking at Brayden and the way he acted. It made me feel better. "Yes?" I tried.

Trey shook his head. "He said, _Of course, who doesn't?_"

I laughed like crazy. The shadows were still there, waiting for their moment, but Trey obviously didn't give them that moment.

"And you know that he actually kissed her once?" Trey continued, making me freeze. "And he was so gentle and caring afterwards, as if he actually got laid or something. Can you imagine the situation?"

"Wait," I said, dead serious, "He actually _kissed_ her?"

Oh, man. So that's how she knew how to kiss me back. It wasn't some… cataclysmic instinct or something.

Trey was rolling on the floor laughing. "Can you believe it?"

"What's so funny?" I heard Angeline say from the doorway.

"Brayden kissed Sydney," Trey said calmly, and then both Angeline and he started laughing.

"Why is that funny?" Sydney said, approaching me slowly. My eyebrows were raised, my arms crossed over my chest, and I was waiting for her to negate the fact. She was simply ignoring me.

"So you don't deny it?" I said, hoping she'd smile and roll her eyes. She was too caught up in opening the bottle to do that.

"No," she said softly and then frowned, looking up at me. "Though it was kind of awful. It happened only once, and there were no emotions, no… well, anything, in it. Just kissing, a process. That's why I couldn't understand why people did it so much."

I loved her honesty. I suppressed a laugh. So Brayden didn't do it, after all. "And do you understand it now?" I asked her teasingly.

Sydney blushed and said nothing as she opened the bottle. Trey and Angeline were both giggling.

Trey said, "Congratulations, man, you managed to make something interesting, other than books, to the ultimate nerd," and we all laughed at that.

Sydney came closer and sat on the floor next to me. A white pill was in her hand, and I swallowed.

"Drink it, you'll feel better," Sydney gently said.

"But what if I need the magic again, Sage? I won't deny it – the rush… it was blissful. The more important fact is that I'm able to protect you with magic. Without it, I'm pretty much useless."

Sydney pulled her fingers through my hair, making me close my eyes and making all thoughts go away. She knew it calmed me. "We'll find a solution," she whispered. "We always do. And you're not useless. You're Adrian Ivashkov, my brilliant boyfriend."

I nodded and took the pill, though my whole being was in protest. I was cutting myself from a very important part of me, but at least I wasn't in danger of going crazy with the pills.

Just until we meet Inez, I chanted in my head. Just until then. I could hold on until then.

I could hold on for Sydney.


	63. Chapter 15, part two: Upside Down

**Author's note:**_ Hmm. I wrote two one-shots, now I'm going to write the regular update (or at least try) before my brother comes back and takes the laptop away from me, and this day is awesome! You guys are so cute, asking me if my stomach hurts and all. Thank you and let me give you a hug! :)_

_1. __**Ariannah B**__: I answered your review in a PM, but I have to say it again: Thank you! :)_

_2. __**Lilietje99**__: Oooh, so we have someone that believes in Marcus after all! ;D Thank you so much, you are always so supportive. :)_

_3. __**sheerio4ever**__: Who'll react with a victorious dance when Angeline hits Keith… there? Rolling my eyes, but I expected it! :D love you, and thanks for everything! :)_

_4. __**jpitt**__: Oh, Adrian wasn't thinking. And in this chapter, it'll happen. Yes, it will. :D Thank you so much! And reveal of Marcus is at least 10 real chapters away :(_

_5. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Thank you, really, for caring about the state my stomach is in! It still hurts, though, because I had to vacuum clean, but not as badly. And I do? Really? (I'm blushing!) Thank you so much for being as interested in this whole dhampir thing like I am. Anrey sounds… I don't know, like some weird name :D You are the one I should thank, and your amazing words! You have no idea how much your support means to me :)_

_6. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Oh God, you did? :O And then you decided to read it! So, did you like how Keith finally got what he deserved? :D Oh my God, I'm not as good as Richelle. I'm not as good as her little finger! Don't be suspicious :P Don't say adios, say "see you tomorrow"! ;D And of course, thank you :)_

_7. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Yes, Adrian is perfect! Thank you :D_

_8. __**marcy503**__: Adrian-Trey bonding time kind of just… happened, and though I never saw it before, I was like, "Okay." I'm glad you liked it, and thank you! :)_

_9. __**bukwurm13**__: Well, to be honest, the chapter didn't work out like I wanted it to, that's why I said it was weird. Keith kind of just jumped in and I wrote it down with a raised eyebrow, wondering what was going to happen next? Instead of leading the story, the story is leading me now :D Don't feel obliged, please! You don't have to review. And yes, that with the knife was totally weird. I was… joking while writing, really, and I wanted to erase it and then thought, Oh, come on Ehli, they won't mind, though it is very weird :D Adrian should've acted protective, and keith should've attacked and hurt Sydney, but when do my chapters end up how I want them to? And finding Jill isn't going to be easy :( Thank you so much, and love you! :)_

_10. __**HopperIvashkinator**__: Hey sis! :) Of course she has an affair with Neil, did you have doubts? :O Abe is the best Moroi lawyer ever ;D I'm not sure yet about Marcus, sis, but it's a big probability and Keith's out of the game for now. And yup, we all enjoyed what happened to Keith! Love you, sis :)_

_11. __**Rebelde09**__: Aww, my friend is back! I'm really glad you took the information that well, since everyone was mad at Lissa! And take easy with chapters ;D Thank you! :)_

_12. __**Lilietje99**__: I won't lie, I'm waiting for you to review one-shots! I'm waiting for that reaction on chapter 12 and you swooning :D And I'm so glad you think like that, because I really am trying :) Thank you for those words, they mean the world to me :D_

_These amazing people I got to love throughout the months of writing belong to Richelle Mead._

"Where the hell are they already?" I said as I paced the room, not able to stand the pressure anymore.

"Calm down," Sydney said, and it was obvious that she was on the edge too. "My sister's out there too, and I'm not acting like a mad man. Are you sure the pills worked?"

I stopped walking, turning around to look at her coldly. "Oh, they worked," I said bitterly. "Now I can't even try to see their auras or contact them via spirit dreams."

Sydney's face tightened. "You're welcome," she said, "I give you the pills so that you aren't in danger of becoming crazy, and that's how you thank me?" Her voice was rising with every word.

"Guys, stop fighting," Trey said absently, "my head hurts. You're doing this for hours, and you obviously aren't intending to stop any time soon."

"Shut up," Sydney and I both said in the same time. Even fighting, we were synchronized.

I came closer to her, intending to give her a high five, but I froze when I heard the door opening.

We all looked at them, and Angeline stood up, a stake already in her hand. She wasn't sure if they finally arrived, or if Zoe gave us away and the Alchemists were there to take us down. I gulped.

"Oh my God," I heard Rose say from the doorway, dropping the stake from her hand. Angeline echoed her movement, and I sighed in relief.

They were here.

"Did you hear what happened?" Rose continued in that high-pitched voice of hers. "Did you know that, Sydney? Thank God they moved you away from there! Marcus was searching for you – they wanted to use you for a new testimony! That's why they didn't make a decision…"

Oh no. Oh no, oh no. Don't say it. "Rose," I said warningly, but it was too late. Why didn't I count on this? There was no way for me to stop Rose from saying her next words. I just stood there, watching her as she said it, watching my world melt away.

"I mean, your _brother_? You kind of look alike, when I think about it," Rose said, looking at Sydney.

Sydney was smiling, but the smile disappeared from her face when she heard Rose's words. I always knew she'd destroy my life. "Brother?" she whispered.

I noticed that Zoe and Dimitri were there, too, and that the whole room was focused on Sydney. Zoe spoke up. "And you didn't even bother telling us. That's why you defended him. And you told _me_ I was loyal to them? What the hell is wrong with you?" she snapped. Her eyes were full of fire.

I shut my eyes tightly, putting my head in my hands. Oh my God, I was so dead. Sydney was going to kill me, and Zoe was going to kill me, and everyone else was going to kill me.

I didn't care about that, though. I only cared that Sydney found out about the very thing I was trying to protect her from.

Good job, Adrian. She found it out anyway, and now she'll blame you for it.

"Marcus is my brother?" I heard Sydney's intense whisper. It was obvious that she was trying to control herself.

"Well, obviously," Rose said, confused. She obviously thought Sydney knew. "I thought you knew it."

I opened my eyes to see a confused Zoe, a shrugging Rose, a calm Dimitri and… Sydney, watching me with hurt in her eyes.

"My mom's _lover_?" she shouted. "You rather told me he was her lover than her son?"

"He isn't her son," I said, and I wanted to strangle myself. Why did I have to say that? It'd only make things worse, and it'd only mean I knew many things which I kept hidden from Sydney. But, I decided to spit it out. "And neither are you."

Sydney's eyes widened. Rose shook her head. "That's wrong, Adrian," she said calmly. "He said their mom thought he was ugly and that she left him on the street, not able to bear the sight of him. He said Jared raised him as an Alchemist, but hid him away because he didn't want his wife to find out, afraid she'd try to kill him, or worse, herself. Jared said his wife thought her son was a devil and that she committed suicide many times. He even had… pictures."

Sydney made a choking cry, and when I tried to comfort her, she moved away. "But that doesn't make any sense," Trey said. "If she's not his biological mother, they can easily prove it with a test."

"But who'd want to do that?" Dimitri said, "If nobody questioned it? Adrian probably overheard a secret conversation or something."

I was focused on Sydney, but I managed to nod. "I overheard his conversation with that Sabrina girl."

Now Neil spoke up. I didn't even notice him standing there, and I tried hard not to notice his hand on Zoe's shoulder. "So if Marcus and Sydney are Jared's children, who is their mother, then? And how come Sydney's mother thought Sydney was her daughter? I mean, you can't fake giving birth."

I shook my head. "I don't know, Raymonds, I didn't have a chance to ask him. It all seems very complicated."

Sydney abruptly stood up. "I'm going to my room," she said coldly, and I wished I could see her aura now. It must have been hard for her, hearing all these things and having her world turned upside down within a moment. Damn it, Adrian, instead of protecting you, you only made it worse.

Nobody said a word, and nobody questioned me when they saw me follow her. I could feel their eyes on my back, though, and I knew they were watching.

Sydney walked down the hallway without making any sound. She stopped in front of a door, which was probably what she referred to as _her room_.

"Sydney," I said gently, knowing it always worked in making her calm down. "Turn around."

"Don't you dare ever speak to me again," Sydney hissed, not quite controlling her voice. "If you try, I'll let the magic break free, Adrian." She said it warningly, but I wasn't afraid of her. Sydney would never, ever hurt me.

I was guilty, though, so I had to try and find a way out of this. I was used to messing things up, after all. "All I wanted was to protect you…" I started.

Sydney cut me off, turning around to face me. "Protect me? How did this protect me? I'm shocked, yes, but do you know what hurts me the most?"

She looked into my eyes intently, and if I hadn't known her better, it would've felt like compulsion. That's how intense her look was. "You lied to me, for God knows how long," she said coldly, cutting my heart out of my chest. "And you expect me to act like everything's okay. But you lied to me, you kept things from me, Adrian, and it hurts like hell." By the time she was done with stepping on my heart, her voice was a near-whisper and her eyes were closed.

"I was trying to protect you, Sydney," I said again, like a broken record, and all other reasons I had, all other reasons I wanted to mention died within me because I knew it was useless. She was right – I lied to her, I disappointed her, and I couldn't make it right.

"Just go away," she said bitterly. "Just go away and stop hurting me. It's all you've been doing for months."

I gasped, and before I could say something, anything, she was gone.

What did this mean? Did this mean it was over? Did this mean Sydney was done with me – for good? Was this a breakup, or something?

No, I reassured myself. She was going to be angry for a few days and then snap out of it. We were crazy about each other.

Nevertheless, I was brokenhearted, and I was guilty. This was a punishment I deserved, and I was going to bear it with dignity. I was going to survive Sydney's anger and disappointment, somehow. I became the very thing I despised.

I shook my head, trying not to think about it, at least for now. As I came back to the living room, I realized I had a very good distraction.

The person who told Sydney what I've been hiding for so long.

Rose.

She turned around to look at me, as if she could hear my thoughts. Spirit wasn't controlling me, thankfully, because I wanted to control myself… to a certain extent.

"So?" she asked simply. "Did the drama queen calm down?"

My face twisted in rage. "You're acting like a drama queen for a lot stupider reasons, Rose," I said bitterly. "She has a very good reason to be angry, and I can't help but point at you because you're the one who told her the information."

Rose raised her eyebrows. "Oh, so I'm guilty now? Because last I heard, you told her he was her mom's lover? What kind of a sick joke is that?"

I balled my hands in fists. "You are selfish, and you don't care about anyone except for yourself," I said angrily, not able to control my voice anymore, "and when you find someone better than you, you won't stop until you destroy his life. So good job – if you wanted to throw Sydney off the track, you did it. Are you happy now?" I put my hands in the air, as if to prove a point.

Rose made a sad face. "It's spirit, Adrian," she said with a sigh. "You're not yourself."

I laughed bitterly. "Yeah, blame everything on spirit. _Poor Adrian_. Well, Rose, for your information, I'm on anti-depressants, so it's not spirit. It's just my old, plain self. And you can't bear the truth, so you'll rather blame it on someone else."

Rose's face tightened, but she didn't show any other emotions. "And since when are you and Sydney each other's lawyers? When I say something to you, she comes here running and punches me in the face. When I say something to her, you come here and insult me. I didn't know you were that close."

I stopped then. It wasn't worth it – Rose wasn't going to change, no matter what I said. And if she found out about Sydney and me, things would get even more complicated. I didn't need it right now – not with everything on my plate. "Sydney is a person worth protecting," I settled on saying, trying not to be passionate about it, "And I'm honored to be counted as her friend. And you may be shocked, but I actually care about other people, though I don't always show it."

Rose just narrowed her eyes. "There's something weird going on, and I'm going to find out what, Adrian," she said in a low voice. "That is a promise."

Well, then, I managed to make an enemy more. Today was a very wonderful, sunny day.

In that moment, my phone started ringing. I noticed other people for the first time since I came to the room – Dimitri was sitting next to Rose, his arm around her waist; Zoe and Neil were at the table, at an appropriate distance, and they were looking at us; Trey and Angeline were nowhere to be seen. Probably making out in the bathroom or somewhere, if I had to guess.

It took me a moment to get my phone out and answer it. I didn't bother checking the caller's name. "Ivashkov," I simply said, trying to sound business-like like Sydney always did.

"Adrian," a feminine voice breathed in the distance. "Adrian, something awful happened."

I frowned. "Lissa? Have you been running?"

"Adrian, it's Eddie," Lissa said, breathing hard, "He's gone."

"Gone?" I said in disbelief. "As in _missing_ or as in _aliens abducted him_?"

"As in missing-evaporated-ran away to save Jill and kill himself in the process-gone," Lissa said. "I've been running through whole Palm Springs and Christian was in Amberwood, but he's nowhere to be seen. One of his friends, Micah, said he took a bag and left somewhere, all-in-black. Does that sound familiar?"

I was silent for a moment, pacing the room, and then I couldn't take it anymore. I walked over to the wall and punched it, hard. "Damn it, Castile, why now? Couldn't he have waited for another day? As if things aren't enough complicated already!"

"You have to find him, Adrian, before they catch him and kill him," Lissa said seriously. "They maybe need Lissa, but they'd enjoy torturing him and killing him. God knows what they'd do to him." She was sounding genuinely scared as she said this.

I sighed. "You need to calm down, Liss," I said gently. "Running can't be good for the baby. Go home, rest, and don't worry. We'll take care about this."

"Promise me you'll get them all home safely," Lissa whispered.

And I would, even if she hadn't asked. I would get them home, or die trying, but I wouldn't stand there and watch them die. Jill was kidnapped, Eddie was playing Mario, saving the princess, Sydney and Zoe were hunted by the Alchemists, Trey was hunted by the Warriors, and we were all probably going to die if they found us.

But I could protect them all somehow. I could, and I would protect them with everything I had.

"I promise," I said coldly and shut the phone off.


	64. Chapter 16, part one: Cold

**Author's note:**_ Good evening! Do you want to know about my day? :D I've been vacuum cleaning very heavy carpets, and I was so tired afterwards, and my stomach hurts, and bees almost stung me exactly 5 times and miraculously I somehow slipped them, and my brother gave me the laptop at 8 PM, and I have a one-shot almost ready (I wrote around 2k yesterday) so hope for it tonight, and perhaps another one that'll be very, very interesting for all of you since it's connected with current events ;D And now I have you anxious, my evil plan is working! And I must admit, I have this evil plan for almost a month, and you're all totally falling to it._

_**WARNING: This author's note is enormous, I'm feeling like Jill today.**_

_And may I point out that I'm hiding behind my pillow right now, seeing all mistakes in the previous chapter? "You" instead of "her," "Lissa" instead of "Jill"… Oh my God, I am so sorry, and I'm so embarrassed._

_700__th__ reviewer is… __**Rebelde09**__! She already asked for a one-shot and is due pretty soon (tomorrow, probably :D) so go ahead and request another one! :)_

_You know you love me, and I love these people:_

_**1. TheHappyLol**__: Oh my God. I never watched My little pony but my best friend was so scared of it when she was a little child – there was some scene with a witch drowning the pony in mud, and she couldn't sleep for days, so I think it's a decent torture! :D You are evil, but you have a pretty good reason, so it's somehow okay! Thanks for the review :)_

062 867 608

_2. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: I know, and I hate it too, because it's so frustrating! I hope you'll be kinder towards Sydney, though, since we're back to her thoughts now :D Thank you for the review! :)_

_3. __**sheerio4ever**__: I hate it too :( And yes, I love Adrian becoming mature, standing up to his beliefs! :D And I thought you'd like the "I'm saying the princess on my own" manly and brave thing! I mean, Eddie is Eddie and he's capable of doing it ;D Love you! :)_

_4. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Yup, they will fix things. But, if you don't want to cry, don't read one-shot number 15. It'll be disturbing. Thank you for reviewing every single chapter! :)_

_5. __**Rebelde09**__: I kind of have the urge to write a one-shot about that restroom now, but what's stopping me is the fact that I've never been in a plane and I have no idea how a restroom looks (except from movies, but that's not enough :D) And who expected Abe? Zoe is… complicated. Everything is, and the bad thing is that it's just going to get worse and worse. I'm sorry for torturing you! :( Thank you so much, and good luck at work! I can't wait the weekend and your thoughts on new chapters! :)_

_6. __**marcy503**__: Ah, I hope I can somehow untangle this whole mess too. Thank you for supporting me! :)_

_7. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Short and straightforward, as usual! Thank you :)_

_8. __**DoughnutsForever**__: I'm starting to smile whenever I see you reviewed! The amount of honesty, praise and simply words in your reviews… it's too much :D Oh, I love doughnuts, but my mom made something… white? With something purple in it? Does that count as doughnuts (it's the best we can do, since we're in mountains :D)? And we'll see about the breakup. It either won't last long or it'll last really, REALLY long. Okay, I'm scaring us all now. I have no idea what I'll do :D thank you so much, it is so refreshing to see that some people appreciate the little details (and mostly things that people pay no attention to, but while I'm reading they're symbols and have significance and there are some jokes, and I know exactly what I've been thinking while I was writing those details), and the dhampir thing – well I was simply confused. I gave it no thought until Trengeline happened – then I was like: Hmm, what if they had children? Would they be dhampir? And would they be as dhampir as Moroixdhampir dhampirs? And then Zeil, and I asked myself the same question (not to confuse you further with other complications- Neil is 75% dhampir since he is Moroixdhampir, and Angeline is 50% since she's Moroixhuman, so Trengeline child would be 25% dhampir while Zeil child would be 37,5% dhampir? And then we'd have a new race of dhampirs added to those alpha, beta and gamma? And what if a dhampirxhuman dhampir had a child with a human? The child would be 12,5% dhampir? There has to be some difference between these things, right? I am so mind-blown right now.) And after these thoughts in the bracket, I'm positive that I'm crazy. And believe me, I have more :D You are amazing, too! You readers don't understand how much this affects me and my writing and how much it motivates me! I'm glad that I make you happy by updating :) I just… didn't like FanFiction and the way people were treating other people there. Reader-writer connection is very weak, sometimes it doesn't even exist, and to me personally, readers are the most important. They make, shape and change the story. I know this answer is huge (and I'm sorry for it), but I just wanted you to know how I feel! My readers are really important to me and though I'm here just for fun (not to be a professional writer or anything), I still think about you guys and I love you. I think everyone should try and be like me, in these positive characteristics. Thank you so much for this review and for initiating these thoughts! :D_

_9. __**KyKat**__: How can you not feel sorry? I mean, we understand his reasons, right? :D And don't be worried about our Eddie. I love him very much and would never let something happen to him, just like I wouldn't let anything happen to Adrian too (men are very important in my life and I guard them, keep them safe and help them as much as I can! :D). Thanks for the review! :)_

_10. __**Mabes123**__: Don't worry! :D And thank you for reviewing._

_11. __**Lilietje99**__: I definitely know how you feel with the Internet crash. Try imagining writing 3k words and then… nothing. Try imagining writing 2k words and then… nothing. It happened a million times :'( The bad feeling is… I don't know, I have it too. This story, it continues surprising me too. I mean, I complicated things with Marcus so much and I know what I'll do, but when? Honestly – I forgot about Eddie too, and thought about him yesterday. I thought he went with them to Washington, and then when I realized I left him in Palm Springs (without any explanation – that's kind of cheap from my side), I connected the sots and did this! :D Eddie is our knight in the shining armor. Thank you for reviewing! :)_

_12. __**bukwurm13**__: Drama is… ppppf. I'm making that sound right now :D It's killing me, guys! I don't know what to do, but in the same time, I do! And that review – exactly my thoughts. It's how it is, you can't change anything now! Let's just hope Sydney realizes that! That was also kind of a joke gone wrong that I should've erased. I remembered Eddie and decided to make Lissa call Adrian and then when I wrote Lissa was breathless (intending just to make her nervous), I told myself, "Hmm, let's see what would happen if Lissa was breathless because she was running around?" And that's how it happened! :D And I love your inner thoughts. I love you in general. Thank you for reviewing! :D_

_13. __**spaztronaut**__: Okay, I'm like… screaming and jumping around right now. The legendary spaztronaut read and reviewed my story? Girl, do you know that you and LGP are, like, the best FF writers EVER? Do you know that LGP gave me idea about TFH, and that you gave me the idea for one-shots? And that I'm trying to be like you two? And you actually liked my story? :O I'm trying not to swoon. Breathe, Ehlimana, slowly. Okay, you wrote you're impressed, I'm swooning._

_14. __**Katrick**__: Yay! I'd really like to read it and give you my opinion. I hope I'm qualified to give you tips since I wrote 3 books myself. This is how it works for me – I pour all emotions I have on paper. I let it rest for a day and then come back and check the grammar, the sentences, everything. But basically, I just do what I feel is right, without thinking about the consequences of the choices my characters made or anything. I just do it, no matter how shocking it is. So if you want to write something shocking, something that isn't regular, I suggest you do it! And always listen to what your inner writer tells you to do. Don't push yourself like I do, it'll make your head hurt. My head hurts badly, it hurts often, and my eyes are often reddish because I push myself too far. Next – ask for opinions, and appreciate them. If people don't like what you write, try not to be bothered (and who am I to suggest that, when I got one bad review I was delirious for a day). I'm not sure if you're writing fiction, but only one of my works (and FF stories, of course) is about fiction, so I'm not sure how to give you suggestions on that. If you feel you're pushing an idea that's already used a thousand times, stop feeling that day. Having a new perspective on crazy things is always good, and I personally enjoy it. And if you feel like you're copying someone, stop feeling that way. You're unique. Never underestimate yourself, and look yourself in the mirror every day. You know what I do when I look into the mirror? I see a girl that never gives up, that's ready for bad comments and criticism but that's also ready to be nice and welcome wonderful people who love her. When I see a respected writer write a post and have around 1,000 comments on it but doesn't decided to ANSWER A SINGLE ONE, I want to puke. I mean, who do you think you are, to ignore people like that? And they still love you! I hope I managed to give you advice. PM me for further things (if you want, of course) and warning: I am a very, very, very talkative person. Thank you! And I'm sorry for upsetting you :(_

_Just for the record, this author's note is 1,827 words long._

_And don't laugh, but I'm listening to a nasheed, it helps me with sad chapters. People say I write angst good._

_Okay, another one – I'm not sure if Eddie already found out about Sydney being a witch, but I don't remember it. If he already knows, please tell me so that I can modify that part, but I only remember Sydney revealed it to Christian and Lissa, and Dimitri saw a fireball in her hand when she got angry at Rose. No Eddie._

_The characters belong to Richelle Mead, but my heart belongs to my readers._

He lied to me.

Again.

It was as if he cut my heart out of my chest and stepped on it, again and again with every breath he took. And the pain didn't subside – it wouldn't, probably for a very long time.

And I told him to go away. Would he actually do it? Would we actually stop this relationship, would we do exactly what everyone expected? Would we give up on each other?

The thought scared me, it scared me so much.

But why did Adrian do it? Why did he hide something so important from me? It was hard to even focus on that little piece of information when the stab in my chest was so hard.

He lied to me, I repeated to myself. My Adrian, my light, my purpose, my everything. He lied to me.

I tried to take a deep breath, but ended up gasping. I was almost crying, but not because Adrian lied to me and all those stupid thing that happened – not even Keith managed to upset me.

I was choking, but not because Marcus was my brother. Not because Jill was kidnapped, or because my mom wasn't my biological mom, or because the Alchemists were looking for me, or because of anything important, really.

I was upset because Adrian wasn't here to calm me down. I was upset because I wasn't safe in his warm arms, because my lips weren't touching his, because he was going away from me, because I told him to go away.

I felt tears in the backs of my eyes. Would he really leave? Was this really it? Was our relationship really ended? To hell with Marcus and the Alchemists and everything. Jared Sage, Keith Darnell and everyone else included.

Adrian was the only person that mattered.

Adrian wasn't here, and I had a very bad feeling that he wasn't going to be here, ever again. The thought made me let out an animalistic sound.

I was on the floor, my back on the door, and I was trembling.

I felt so cold. _Good,_ I thought for a moment. _Sydney Sage, you deserved it. He was trying to protect you, and you were so busy with being so shocked that you had to chase him away_.

I should've been angry, really, but fear was overwhelming me. What if something happened to him, or me, and I never got to tell him it was okay? What if they sent me to Re-education and I never had the chance to tell him how much I loved him?

What if this was it.

The room was cold. It was somehow appropriate, since it really was winter.

And when I glanced at my hands, I saw something blue on them. _In them_, to be exact.

I raised my hand, looking at it with wide eyes. What was going on with me?

When I let out my breath, it was visible in the form of a dust, like when it was really cold.

In my peripheral vision I saw that water drops turned into ice on the window.

I stood up slowly, turning for 360 degrees in an attempt to take in the room.

The room was frozen, and my hands were bluish from the inside. My arms, too.

Gulping, I looked down and saw that my legs were bluish too.

But what was happening? I felt only fear, and sadness in me. No magic. I couldn't have done this.

"Oh my God," I whispered into the empty room. It all suddenly made sense – my feelings, they were affecting my surroundings.

What was next? Rooms were going to explode when I felt happy?

I was afraid to leave the room, afraid that if I went out, I'd hurt someone. Adrian would've helped me, but he was the indirect cause of this. My heart hurt even more when I remembered that, and I noticed more ice form on the window.

What could've I done? I couldn't leave the room, since I would've probably ended freezing everyone to death with my powers. And that'd mean Rose, Zoe, Neil, Trey and Angeline would find out I was a witch. No, thank you.

I couldn't call Adrian, because he and I weren't… talking. I would've sounded like a child if I called him, asking for help. I knew he wouldn't have taken it like that – he would've just been astonished and scared, and concerned, and he would've helped me.

But I still had that call.

"Eddie, I know I'm probably just annoying you since you have classes in an hour, but I need help," I said it as one long sentence, not even pausing to breathe.

"Classes?" Eddie said, sounding confused.

"Well, yeah, it's not the weekend and you have chemistry in an hour," I said, remembering the schedule. It was already helping – I was taking my mind off Adrian.

Eddie paused for a second. "Yeah, right," he said in a flat voice, "sorry, I'm out of it, with Jill gone and everything…"

I sighed. "I know. We'll find her, Eddie, I promise. I'm working on it." Talking with Eddie was relatively easy – he was like a brother I never had… Okay, that sentence wasn't true with Marcus and everything, but I didn't want to think about it. Every heartbeat was whispering _Adrian_, and I was drowning myself in these new feelings of sadness, complete emptiness and… just feeling betrayed.

"You said you needed help?" Eddie answered, and I guessed he just didn't want to talk about Jill. Thank God, because I didn't want to talk about her neither. I'd just end drowning in guilt. I could've saved her and ran after her…

I shook my head, focusing on the conversation. "Eddie, Adrian and I, we… we just had a fight."

Eddie knew about Adrian and me, of course – if we never said it out loud, he knew because of Jill and simply because he knew us both and he was a guardian, which meant he noticed things. It was his job.

On the other side, being a witch… it wasn't an easy thing, but I'd much rather explain it to him than risk talking with Adrian.

"Why?" Eddie asked gently. "Did he- did he do something?"

I laughed for a second. My hands weren't as blue anymore. "No, no, Eddie. It's just… he kept important information for me, and in protecting me from it, he lied to me. It hurt me and I kind of… I kind of told him to go away."

Eddie was silent for another second. Did I sound as pathetic as I felt? I hoped not, because I was feeling very pathetic.

"You two need to cool it down," Eddie finally said. "I don't know why, but you've been fighting a lot in the past weeks. It's not a good sign. You should be united in such an important moment."

I nodded. "I know." I felt like I should tell him what happened, so that he might soften and see the reason why we had a fight. "He… he knew Marcus was my brother and didn't tell me."

Eddie made a strange sound, but said nothing. "I might understand you both," he told after a while.

"Could you elaborate?" I said, and I realized I was pacing the room. It was actually warming me up. Calling Eddie was obviously a big decision.

"Adrian didn't tell you because he knew you'd freak out, so he rather bore the weight of it himself, than see you suffer. But then again, I'd want to know something like that, no matter how much it hurt. The truth is better than lies, no matter how awful it is." Eddie's voice was perfectly calm while he said it, and I found myself believing him. He indeed felt like a brother for me.

"When did you become so wise?" I teased him, feeling a smile fighting to break free.

_No_, I told myself. _You are not going to smile while Adrian and you aren't talking to each other_.

"Since Jill was kidnapped and I realized what a jerk I was – I kept pushing her away, instead of cherishing every single moment I had with her," Eddie said in a distant, pained, honest voice. "Now she might die and I might never get a chance to show her how deeply and truly I love her."

I gasped. "But Eddie, it's not your fault," I said, hearing his unsteady breathing. "Nothing will happen to her. They need her. And you weren't sure if she was in love with you. You're still young – you thought you had time…"

Eddie cut me off. "Why would they need her, Sydney?" he said in a very harsh tone. "Can't you see that the 'million dollars' thing is just a trap? That they're trying to buy themselves some time to prepare the revolution? They want to kill her, and they won't give up until they do it." He sighed. "And I knew she was in love with me, but I was so afraid she would get tired of me and move onto Moroi, because she's a princess, after all… I was a coward, and now I'm paying the price."

"Oh, Eddie," was all I said. I shut my eyes tightly. _Why does everything have to be so hard?_ I thought.

"Because this is real life, and not a fairytale," Eddie said coldly, and I realized I said it out loud.

"I need to tell you something, Eddie," I whispered. "I can't bear any more lies, hidden things, not when we all might die tonight."

Eddie said nothing – he just waited. What was going through his head in that moment? Did he think I wanted to tell him something about Jill, or this wouldn't shock him so much? Would he be disgusted, or impressed, like Christian had been?

"I'm a witch," I continued whispering, not able to speak louder. "A real witch. I yield magic, and I'm not able to control my power anymore. I'm standing in a room which is practically frozen and there's something blue shining from inside of my whole body. I'm afraid, Eddie, I'm so afraid, and I know I'm feeling this way because of the fight with Adrian."

Eddie said nothing, again, and that started annoying me. Yes, it was a lot to take in, but it was making me pace the room faster. I was going to freeze to death, I knew, if I didn't calm down soon.

"Talk with him," he finally said. "Talk to him, and you'll solve it – I know it. Sydney, don't repeat my mistake and waste your time on stupid things. Like you said, you could die tonight, and would any of this be worth it?"

I felt a tear on my cheek. "But it hurts, Eddie. He betrayed me, and I told him to go away. I hurt him, and I hurt myself in the process."

Eddie sighed. "At least he's there, and you can talk with him. I want to talk with Jill, but I can't."

I shook my head. "I also have a pride. If I just simply forgave him, he'd do it again, knowing there'd be no consequences."

"Sydney, it's your call, but your power is important, and it's obviously swirling out of control. You need to get a grip on yourself and start solving real problems. You can't do anything if you're freezing to death because you can't control yourself."

I sniffed. "Okay, Eddie. Thank you. I'm just… out of it, I guess. I was responsible and calm and ready for everything a month ago, and all I'm doing for days now is just crying my soul out and making stupid decisions. I'm forgetting things, I'm making mistakes and just one wrong move could cost me everything."

Eddie paused for a moment, then whispered, "No secrets, right?"

"Of course," I answered without hesitation.

"I ran away from Amberwood and I'm on my way for Washington," he said quickly. "Don't freak out – I'm doing this my way, and I'm capable of fighting for myself."

I gasped. "But it's dangerous, and irresponsible! Are you crazy? The Warriors, they're going to kill you if they see you! And God knows who else might be there!" I shut my eyes tightly and put my palm over them. I didn't need this, not this _too_, not right now.

"I told you not to freak out," Eddie said, and he sounded amused. "And I decided. I'll either save her or die trying. You can't stop me now."

I sighed, knowing contradicting him was pointless. I was tired of fighting people I loved, people I cared about. I was tired of pushing them away, of hurting us all, of making mistakes. "Just be careful, Eddie," I settled on whispering.

"You know I will," he said gently. "I was always the responsible one."

"Good luck, and…" I gulped. "If something happens to one of us, _Goodbye._ You'll always be like a brother to me."

Eddie was silent for a moment – probably shocked by the honesty of my words. "Good luck and goodbye too, sister," he said gently and shut me off.

So I sat there, in coldness, knowing that Palm Springs mission was over, knowing that I was a breath away of losing everyone and everything I cared about, knowing I was a breath away from dying, from forgetting, from being in pain.

I was in danger of losing Adrian, too, and Eddie was right – we didn't have time to fight now. Not when everything was collapsing around us. Not when I needed him more than ever, to help me control myself.

A long time ago, I was Sydney Sage, the calm and composed girl who always talked too much. Who was I now? I was pathetic, I didn't even know who my mother was, I had a lost brother, and I had some magical abilities that I wasn't able to control anymore.

And I was cold, I was so cold.

I looked at Adrian's number on the cell phone screen, contemplating whether to kill my dignity and call him or kill myself and stay in this cold room.

"Sage?" he said confused, wary, and God knows what else.

"Just come here," I whispered before I lost the courage.

And then I fell to the cold bed, waiting for the darkness to envelop me. Waiting for the coldness to claim me, before everything fell apart.


	65. Chapter 16, part two: Burning

**Author's note:**_ Oh my God, I am so scared._

_Okay, so I'll try and act like Richelle here – I don't know if you guys noticed, but both times Rose and Dimitri were… hmm… that… Rose was experiencing spirit darkness and Dimitri was trying to soothe her by… yeah, that._

_Oh my God, this is going to be so awkward._

_So Sydney is in this emotional – my-magic-is-out-of-control – state, and… yeah. That. I won't do this event any justice, but this thought was planted in my head minutes ago by __**bukwurm13**__, so don't blame me. I want them to do it, and then we can all be peaceful when Sydney goes to Re-education or whatever happens (but something bad will, I just know it). So, you have my permission to hate me – it's the wrong moment, the wrong tweet, the wrong story, the wrong everything, but I decided to try and get it over with._

_And don't laugh, but the song "I want to wake up with you," is on the radio and I'm on… that part._

_Oh come on, this isn't fair! Now "I want to know you inside out," is playing! Or am I just paranoid and seeing signs where there aren't any?_

_I love these people:_

_1. __**Gg**__: Please, don't laugh, but I didn't understand that._

_2. __**TheHappyLol**__: Oh my God, I totally forgot about Hopper and Lily! We'll have to either bring them to Washington or return the gang to Palm Springs. Hmm. We'll see :D Write, I'll check later! And thanks for reviewing! :)_

_3. __**sheerio4ever**__: Thank you! You are a part of it too! :D I'm not sure about killing Jill! (okay, I'm kidding there.) And is Sydney's magic scary now? :D Love you! :)_

_4. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Yup, we love her. Thank you, my friend! :)_

_5. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Don't laugh, but my mom is making me doughnuts right now! :D I love reading and answering your reviews! I'd move it to PM, but I'm really not sure if I can. FF is crazy on my phone currently. I'm just so embarrassed because those typos were so… hilarious? I mean, Lissa calls Adrian and says "Oh, they need Lissa but they'd love to kill Eddie!" Okay, I'm laughing :D Oh my God, that actually happened? But Tomas Sanders has nothing similar with Mikhail Tanner! I'm mind-blown. I'm currently living there, in a very big house an hour away from my country's capital. Left from me is the mountain and the woods, and right from the house are meadows, and it's beautiful. I'm afraid of thunders, though, and they're present since yesterday night so I'm kind of scared right now. I really hope you like the events of this chapter from the aspect that they're not fighting anymore. And I just have to share something with you – while I was reading VA, in book 4 (I think, I'm not sure, you'll figure it out by events) when Rose broke into that room with silver and found a stake she said "it probably belonged to an important guardian." And for the next two books I was like, come on, Richelle, tell us the story of the stake and its owner! I just think that Zeil child and Jeddie child, they'd be completely different. Zeil child would be mostly human while Jeddie child would be mostly vampire, and they can't just both be called dhampirs. I want to know the differences! :D And Romitri child, it'd be the ultimate guardian :D high five for being crazy together! No problem, it takes a minute to reply, and I never skip people, no matter what they write. I was very… conflicted while reading all those stories of Re-education. Most people never even mentioned magic – I mean, Sydney would fight them, right? And I'm positive she'd win. We'll see how it happens in my story (I already know what to do with 'how is Sydney so powerful' question, I'm not sure how it'll manifest). And Eddie-Sydney connection, they're kind of cute :D NO! Eddie won't die, that's a promise. Love you and this awesome review and just being able to talk to you! Thank you for every single word you wrote and every single second it took you to write this :)_

_6. __**Lesha11**__: Oh, a new reviewer! :D Thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked this!_

_7. __**happygirl0987**__: Love your new username! And thank you so much, of course :)_

_8. __**spaztronaut**__: You understand that I'm still trying to recover from the fact that you actually like my story, right? LGP and you are better than Richelle Mead. Fullstop. There's nothing else to say, and nothing that can deny that fact. I really love that too, and I love how I read two things from different perspectives and it's really amazing! People do same things, but in so many ways. A little? You, like, gave me the idea what to write. HopperIvashkinator wanted me to start writing and I was like, "Oh my God, but what?" And then I found your story and I told myself, "This would be perfect for me." I really enjoy writing here, it fills me with joy. And the fact that one of the legendary writers… If LGP reviewed too, I'd seriously be dead. Girls, I'm not that good! :D Love you, and thank you so much for those words! And don't you dare swoon to me :D_

_9. __**bukwurm13**__: Oh, I'm going to kill you and that idea. It's the worst thing you ever suggested! And the best, though I described it so awfully! And my mom leaves a window in the kitchen open and around 30 bees get into the house every day. They love to be on the floor, and I'm trying to kill them and scare them off, but I just end up stepping on them :( And if you don't like this chapter, I'm going to strangle you online! :D Thank you so much, love you! :)_

_10. __**Katrick**__: I know the frustration! I had no idea what PM was until I made a profile – it means "personal message," like on every other site, just has a fancy code name :D I'm really glad that I was able to help! I'd really love to read the book, because I'm sure it's as awesome as you are! You're not stupid :P Like you always say to me, YOU ROCK! Thank you so much! :)_

_I wrote it, and I'm hiding behind a wall and a pillow and a painting and my mom now. I'm so scared of your reactions. Well, whatever you write, just remember that I tried my best._

_The characters belong to Richelle Mead, but my heart belongs to my readers._

"Sydney," the most beautiful voice in the universe whispered, and I realized I fell asleep.

I sighed happily. At least I could have him in my dreams. At least it wasn't all so complicated in there.

"Adrian," I whispered back, loving the way his name sounded.

I felt his fingers running down the length of my arm, making me shiver. Making me feel warm. "Sydney, wake up," he whispered.

I tried to resist it and stay in this dream forever, with him saying my name like that, but in the next moment my eyes were opening, and I was waking up.

Adrian really was running his fingers down the length of my arm, while his other hand was on my cheek. I was sleeping on it, actually. I blinked and looked up at him. "Adrian," I whispered again. It was the only thing I was the able to say, the only thought in my mind.

I was cold, I was so cold. Oh God, so I really wasn't dreaming and I was freezing to death in this room.

My dress – the business-like dress I chose for the trial, beige in color and that reached my knees, but had no sleeves – wasn't nearly enough to protect me from the cold.

Adrian's hand moved to my lips. "Your lips are bluish," he whispered. "You're freezing."

He quickly shrugged his jacket off – wait, he actually found the jacket with the anti-depressants – and put it around me. The smell of Adrian instantly overwhelmed me and I sank into the jacket, feeling warmer. "Thank you," I heard myself whisper. Why were we whispering?

I guess we were just afraid how the other one would react. This was new for me – being afraid of Adrian's reaction, being afraid of him going away, of scaring him off, being shy in front of him, and pretending to be angry. I wasn't angry at him. I was cold.

"I'm cold," I whispered.

Adrian nodded, his green eyes shining in the frozen atmosphere. We were both on the bed, and somehow, the thought made me feel a fraction better. "You're… you're shining, Sydney. There's something shining out of you."

I looked at my hands – they weren't blue anymore. They were just… shining, like he said, white light going out of them. I started trembling. "What's happening to me, Adrian?" I whispered.

"I… I think you're really upset," he whispered back, "Because of me. Because of what I did."

I thought I wouldn't dare look up at him, but I did. And I really saw him, perhaps for the first time in months. I saw my Adrian, the brave man I loved, the brave man who'd do anything for me. The brave man who lied for me in trying to protect me.

But he was the brave, careful man with good intensions. He didn't want to hurt me – he wanted to protect me, like he said. I trusted him, I believed him, and I realized I wasn't angry anymore. Perhaps a bit hurt, but it was inevitable. The thought of Adrian going away was too much for me to take. The thought of losing him shadowed all other thoughts.

"I'm not upset anymore," I said, and I meant it. "I'm just afraid."

Adrian smiled. "I love your honesty, Sage," he whispered. "But don't be afraid of me."

I shook my head quickly. Why did he always get it wrong, and why did he always pretend to be the victim? "I'm afraid of you going away. Of us breaking up and never being close again. It's killing me. And the fact that I actually told you to go away…" My voice broke, and I shook my head again, not able to say anything else.

I really was out of it. The fact that Adrian and I were still miles away, when we were inches from each other, didn't help it. And the fact that I was so incredibly cold was just making me think slower.

It would be ironic, really, if we both froze to death here. It'd mean we lost without even trying anything. And if we both died because of my powers, that'd be hilarious. _The girl that couldn't control her powers killed herself and her boyfriend in an attempt of making up after he lied to her. _

I didn't realize I was giggling, and Adrian was watching me as if I was crazy. I also noticed how he was impossibly close to me. I could hear his breathing, and it made my heart beat faster.

God, did he have any idea what he did to me?

"Don't be afraid," he whispered, his breath fogging him from me. "I'm not going anywhere. I was afraid you were finally done with tolerating my stupid mistakes, and I thought you wanted to break up with me, but I'd never, ever even think about doing something like that. So don't be afraid of that."

My breath caught, and he touched my face with his fingers again. I needed that touch to soothe the storm that was in me. My emotions were scattered across the room, and he knew how to pick them all up and arrange them, discarding those I didn't need.

"I'm afraid of losing you," I continued absently. I was talking on autopilot, not even forming the thoughts before getting them out of me. It all just ached to get out, it all ached to be heard and understood. And Adrian was the only one who understood.

"But more than that, I'm afraid of not telling you how much I love you before I lose you," I whispered. "Because I know they'll take me away – I can feel it. If we left things like that, and they took me away, they'd win. They'd manage to erase you from my mind, and they'd succeed in re-educating me. And then I wouldn't lose only you – I'd lose myself, too."

I noticed that now both of Adrian's hands were on my cheeks. He was silent, though, so I continued talking. Anything was better than this silence that was keeping us apart. "And I'm afraid of myself. I don't know what's happening to me, and I'm afraid I'll hurt others. I'm hurting you already." I closed my eyes, trying to get a grip on myself, but it didn't work. I didn't even know where to begin.

Adrian began simply by touching me. It managed to get thoughts of Marcus, Jill, even of my magic out of my mind. All that was left was a trail of fire on my face. "I'm so scared, Adrian, I'm so scared that I'll lose myself, and that I'll hurt you in the process," I concluded. I could talk no more. I could do nothing except listen to our heartbeats and his steady breathing. Silence wasn't comfortable, but when I was with him, it was enough.

"Sydney," Adrian whispered, making me open my eyes immediately. He was a breath away. All I could see were his eyes – he was everywhere.

"Don't be afraid," he said firmly. "I'll protect you from everything. They'll have to get over my dead body to touch you. And as for your power, you aren't hurting me. You're hurting yourself, and that's why I'm concerned. But the cold, it isn't hurting me. I'm a vampire, remember?"

I simply shook my head, not able to say anything. "You're the calmest person in the whole world. You can beat this. We beat it together already, right? When you were angry, I calmed you down. Now we just need to do the opposite of what's happening to you."

He made everything sound so simple… and in reality, it was. I was just upset. I opened my eyes, suddenly knowing exactly what I was going to say. "I'm cold," I whispered fiercely. "Heat me up."

Adrian's eyes widened, but we were too close for him to pull back in time. I was upset because of him, after all, so it wasn't taking advantage, right?

And this new bravery I felt, it was totally new for me. I never took initiative with Adrian – he was always the one who started and ended things.

Now, he just complied with my wishes and returned the kiss. Just like I thought a minute ago – he was everywhere. His hands in my hair, my fingers pulling at his hair, his lips on my own, our breaths mixing, our hands roaming each other's backs, his hands on my hips, pulling me closer, I, falling on top of him, thankful that we were already on the bed…

The crazy thing is, the fact that everything around us was frozen didn't matter anymore. Nothing did. All that mattered were my hands in the hem of his shirt, tugging at it until he pulled it over his head and he was shirtless in this closeness. His jacket was long forgotten somewhere, and I was already fiddling with the zipper of my dress, annoyed because I couldn't quite reach it and making a noise in my throat because of it.

Adrian's hands were there in an instant, moving mine away, and he whispered my name warningly. He moved his lips to my neck, letting me breathe, but it wasn't enough for me.

No. This wasn't enough anymore. I knew what I wanted, and I knew that we wouldn't have any more chances for a very, very long time. I had that thought in my mind ever since we were on the plane and I realized just how much I wanted him.

But I'd be taking advantage of him, because I was upset and he'd simply do whatever I wanted to calm me down. I didn't want it to be like that, so I moved back.

Adrian was breathing hard. "I'm sorry," he said, seeing the look on my face.

I just shook my head, moving to stand up, go away and try picking up lost pieces of my dignity. Adrian caught at my wrist, stopping me from doing it. "I really am sorry, Sydney. Please don't be upset. I didn't want it to go that far, but I'm… I'm not the best at controlling myself."

I giggled. "You? I'm taking advantage of you, you let me, and then you say you're sorry?" I laughed then, a real laugh, when I saw the look on his face. "It's not so cold anymore."

Adrian looked around the room, obviously grateful for the distraction. "No, it's not, and thank God for that, seeing that I'm…" he looked down at his shirtless form. "Shirtless."

I couldn't take my eyes off of his chest, now that he moved my attention to it. The muscles, the pale color, it was all so… beautiful, in the lack of a better word. He was simply perfect.

"Are you enjoying the view, Sage?" he said, smirking. He obviously composed himself, and he was ready to mock me. "There's more where this came from."

I actually smiled, blushing a little. I was in a freezing room, with my shirtless vampire boyfriend, and I was blushing. The apocalypse was coming.

Adrian raised an eyebrow at my smile. I turned away from him, but he was already back to that conversation. "So, you were taking advantage of me, right?"

I gulped, and then Adrian touched my hand again. "Sydney, you know I'd never force you into anything. Just don't… don't get upset again. We're doing better; you said it yourself."

I closed my eyes. "It's not enough, Adrian. It's not enough for me anymore."

Adrian's hand froze a little under my elbow. He didn't say anything – he just sat there, not doing anything, his hand burning deep into me.

I turned around, daring to open my eyes. Where was this bravery coming from? Sydney Sage would've already been deep under the sheets, hiding from Adrian after what she said. She wouldn't be saying what she was about to. I looked him in the eyes and whispered, "I want more."

Adrian's eyes widened. "No, Sydney, this isn't you. It's the magic, the darkness, or _something_, but not you. You can't…"

I moved my arm away from his touch, feeling hurt again. He was actually rejecting me – for the millionth time. "Am I really that pathetic?" I whispered.

Adrian gasped, took my wrists in his hands and turned me towards him – hard. "Listen to me now," he growled. "You are… something holy for me. Something pure, innocent, and beautiful. I've been rejecting you because I'm afraid that I'll taint you. I'm afraid that you'll wake up tomorrow, scared and disgusted, because I'm a Moroi and you're having an emotional breakdown right now. I know you don't want this – not really."

My eyes widened. He couldn't be serious. "You're not going to taint me, Adrian. And I'm well past the fact that you're a vampire," I said with a smile. "That might make me freak out a bit in a minute because you mentioned it and the Alchemist beliefs are so deep within me, but if I ever wanted anything in my life, then it's you. You can't be evil – if you are evil, then I'll gladly be tainted." What shocked me more than the fact that I actually said that was the fact that I actually meant what I said. I wanted this, and I wanted it now. It was the right time. It actually was the right time a long time ago.

Adrian gasped. "So you're not disgusted by the fact that I'm a Moroi?" he whispered ever so silently.

I shook my head, smiled at him and touched his cheek.

"Sydney…" he whispered, but I was already there, pulling him to me, touching his bare chest, noticing how cold he was, and being angry at myself for being the reason for this coldness.

And then Adrian gasped when I led his hands to the zipper of my dress, and next thing I know, the dress was off.

I wasn't afraid. Not of Adrian, not of myself, not of the Alchemists, not of anything. I wasn't even thinking about anything except for him.

Adrian surely noticed that, because he didn't hesitate. Not anymore. Within a minute we were breathing hard, our clothing was discarded and we were going to do it.

There was a little voice in my head, chastising me mentally for doing this when Jill was kidnapped, Eddie in the holy mission of saving her, and while my sister was in the other room. It disappeared very soon, since I was busy doing other things. It was selfish, not thinking about anything except for myself, and the feeling was strange, but I didn't feel bad because of it.

It was mostly physical, and it hurt at first, but it was Adrian, so I didn't mind. It soon grew into something more – it was a way of showing him I loved him, the way no words could ever, ever describe it. It wasn't just lust – lust was just a small part of it. More important than the physical feelings was the fact that we were together, really together, and that it felt so right.

I was burning, and Adrian was, too. Somehow, looking into his eyes made me feel even calmer about all of this. We were whispering only each other's names, but in the same time, we were telling so much more, things words couldn't explain.

A thought crossed my mind – God, I was doing it for the first time in my life, and I was with a vampire. I was positive that no human would ever be this gentle. I was also positive that no man, human or not, would ever be cursing himself because he wasn't able to heal me. The thought disappeared.

It was over too soon, if you ask me, and we were both completely satisfied. I wasn't cold anymore – not by a long shot, and when I closed my eyes, I could see stars. Somehow, I knew I made the right decision and that's why it was easy to stay close to Adrian.

I wasn't disgusted with myself, like Adrian expected me to be. I wasn't thinking of him as a Moroi, as a vampire, as anything anymore – he was mine now. He was mine, and I was his, and that was the most right thing that's ever happened. It should've happened a long time ago. All insecurities, all secrets, all mistakes and wrong choices would've melted. But this was enough, this was finally enough, and I was safe and sure in his arms now.

So I smiled into Adrian's chest when he pulled me close, asked me if I was okay and kissed the top of my head.

I was ready for the Alchemists now. I was ready for anything and anyone, and I was able to control my power now. Making love to Adrian actually helped, other than just warming me up. It helped me find that spark deep in me and grab hold of it – now I knew where it was all coming from, and I had hold of it.

I also knew that I was far too gone for any attempts of Re-education. This was huge, and if my father knew, he'd… he wouldn't be satisfied if he just killed me. I shuddered at the thought and Adrian pulled me closer, thinking I was cold. He was still kissing the top of my head, as if he couldn't stop. He was just that perfect, that beautiful, that wonderful, and he wasn't selfish. He actually cared about me. If he was selfish, he would've dressed himself and left the room. And I would've felt used.

But I didn't – I felt complete. I had no idea what was missing until I found it, and now I wanted it back. I wanted to stay this way with Adrian forever, and though I knew we'd have to go back to our lives very soon, too soon, I still dreamed of the outside world being as perfect as this moment was.

I loved Adrian's humming. It always managed to calm me down – even when thoughts of my father torturing me before killing me went through my head. He had a beautiful voice. Or was it, maybe, just the fact that I was so happy in general, I though?

I slowly closed my eyes, whispered, "I love you," and before Adrian had the chance to answer, I was asleep, not thinking about the consequences of my choices, or anything, except for knowing this man underneath me was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.

Little did I know that things weren't that simple.


	66. Chapter 16, part three: Preparations

**Author's note:**_ I'm still hiding behind that pillow, it's 9:30 AM and I'm fighting another headache, and I'm blushing because of your reviews and I'm… amazed because I still didn't receive that review in which someone is going to write "you ruined Sydrian for me! That was awful! I don't want to read this story anymore!" I might be (slightly) paranoid, but I'm still behind that pillow._

_Especially since that previous chapter was so awkward, and now trying to fix this whole mess it's just going to get more, and more, and more awkward._

_Okay._

_Now onto your lovely reviews:_

_1. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: You have no idea how you saved me a heart attack. I was there, sitting behind the pillow, biting my nails, and the first review – boom! So straightforward :D Thank you, really, because I really had no idea what I was writing._

_2. __**happygirl0987**__: Thank you, I am so glad you liked it! :)_

_3. __**DoughnutsForever**__: I ate around 10 doughnuts yesterday, I'm going to gain weight :D In one-shot #16, Sydney was on the phone with Jackie, and the sentence before "I ask my mom about those things" I accidentally wrote "Of course it has nothing to do with dad." I cried for 15 minutes from laughing so much, and my mom and my sister were like, "Ehli, are you okay?" while I just shook my head :D I'm scared of thunders, I just repeat Arabic words over and over again praying to God to save us. And don't be jealous, you're welcome to visit anytime! :D And btw, where are you from? :D You know, people expect from Adrian to rush into it without even thinking about the consequences, so I tried to make him responsible – though he could never say No to Sydney :D My friend, she always laughs at me for that stake saying I have "conspiracy theories about it" when I just… I had that feeling that she was aiming for saying about it to us and then she just forgot or something! High five for being crazy! :D She should have, she definitely should have, but I was scared to open new possibilities for Sydney's magic. I'm trying to kill that fear and do new things (even though it'll be totally, totally different than what Richelle has in store for us), because I simply need to! Sydney is awesome and I want to show everyone that she's not afraid anymore, because she knows what she's capable of. Oh, that's my dream too. They just make a good team, right? :D Don't be scared about Eddie, I promise you he's not going to die. I can't guarantee anything else, though :D Thank you so much, I really enjoy talking with you! And of course, love you too! :)_

_And be excited. Something we talked about will be revealed when Sydney has a talk with her father ;D_

_4. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Phew, I'm glad you think so. I felt awkward. Thank you so much! :D_

_5. __**bukwurm13**__: Of course I blame you! :D I was planning to leave Sydney and Adrian in a fight, in an even worse fight, it would've been good for what comes later, but this is even better. And yeah, for my age, this was awkward enough. High five for the idea! And thank you, and love you! :)_

_6. __**Lilietje99**__: I'm going to pre-order TFH too! :D Oh come on, you always thank me. Thank you for being this wonderful reader and reviewer and for supporting me in every single situation. Love you too! And it was very funny, seeing your reaction at c64 and then c65. And a question. Did I ever give you a one-shot? Because I think I'm crazy if I didn't. Hmm. And thanks for reminding me! This is now just going to get more awkward… sigh. Thank you so much! :D_

_7. __**sheerio4ever**__: Honestly, my friend, I can't believe it either. This is going to alter so many things. You don't need to answer all reviews, but just know that I'm here, supporting you! :D High five for the writer's course, it's definitely going to help you (though you don't need help, just more time to write :P). And I just couldn't resist it – Adrian being unsure, not being the confident party boy! :D Don't worry about the cliffhanger, we're still far from the real :O moment. Love you and can't wait to read all those messages! ;D_

_8. __**sydrianbigestfan**__: First of all, don't worry about not reviewing earlier. The fact that you decided to just makes me so happy, and I'm so excited for having a new reviewer. I've lost quite a few of them along the way, and I can't help but wonder if people don't want to read this story anymore or if there's something wrong with it. Or with me. So having new support is really encouraging. :) I always imagined it this way to – they do it, she gets shipped to Re-education and she endures it because… well, because it's Adrian and she'll endure everything for him :D I had to make Sydney vulnerable, I don't believe Adrian would've done what she wanted him to if it was any different. I've been avoiding this moment for centuries because I was just so scared to write it, and when bukwurm13 suggested it was the right moment, I started writing and saw… that it really was the moment. Of course, not in the book, but just in this story. If I have to guess, it happens a lot earlier in the book (or somewhere near the end, before something happens to Adrian). Thank you so much for deciding to review, it made my day that much better! :)_

_9. __**Guest**__: Thank you for deciding to review, too! :) That is really wonderful, my story being so important to someone! I hope you can decipher my thoughts, though I surprise myself with developments all the time. And bonding sister time – I love the sound of that! I'm just so glad that someone can enjoy reading my story with their family. My family just writes me off with eye rolls because they know what I'm writing is just making me happy, and is not of much use. And if my brother read c65, I would've ended up having a very, very awkward conversation with him :D Thank you so much for your support! :)_

_10. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Argh, I need YouTube, like, right now! Please mention the song again in around 12 days, that's when I'm getting the Internet back. And you were like, "Oh my God, it's going to be #15 all over again" when I did the complete opposite! :D Thank you so much, and love you! :)_

_11. __**jpitt**__: Thanks for reminding me, I was so scared and focused on that part that I forgot about everything else. I'm going to fix it in this chapter, though. Thank you so much! :)_

_12. __**Sam1405**__: You didn't leave me, my friend and I'm jumping around and grinning like crazy because of that! Thank you so much, I am so glad you loved it because I was just so scared! I mean, I've never even thought about writing something like that before, and then suddenly I did and people love it. I don't even believe myself when I see it's chapter 66. How many words? How much is left? I have no idea, no idea at all. I just know I'll finish it before TFH comes out, and that's a promise. We've come a long way. Thank you again, and love you! :)_

_13. __**rebelde09**__: I am going to laugh. You read c63 and c64, but when you read c65, you're gonna hit yourself with the phone for not reading it now :D (or at least, that would've been my reaction) Ah, you know Eddie the macho. Can't wait for the PM, and that one about Rose finding out is on its way today! :) Thank you so much, and love you! :)_

_14. __**SoZina**__: I can't believe that someone actually listened to what I had to say. I hurried to write both chapters so that people don't go and commit suicide, but nobody listened anyway. It's nice, knowing that someone actually read my warnings! :D I know the feel, really. So I read Unearthly, book 3, and I'm lying down on my bed crying (though the ending is perfect). And I'm telling myself, "But Ehlimana, it's okay, they're together," and I'm still crying because ending of book 2 was so awful anyway :D I think what was lacking was actual experience. I mean, I was describing something I've never even thought about doing, and all my knowledge comes from books. It was awkward, definitely, and thankfully someone actually noticed it. I'm glad it's not so catastrophic as I expected it to be, though :D Yup, Zeil coming today and I think you're going to laugh at Sydney freaking out. I'm just not sure (answer as soon as possible) whether to do it from Zoe's POV, Sydney's POV, or Adrian's POV? :D Thank you! :)_

_15.__**Katrick**__: No problem! You are not stupid :P And be sure! I'd really love to read it and I promise I won't be judgmental since I have my own awful writings to compare it with, and believe me, your can't be worse than mine :D (I can even tell you the plotline of one of my works, I always die laughing) You're the best and thanks! :D_

_16. __**gokdenlips324**__: That means you like it, right? Thank you ;D_

_Phew. No bad reactions, and I hope this isn't too awkward. I'm definitely not feeling really comfortable now._

_Richelle Mead definitely didn't do something like this in TFH, though I secretly wish she had :D_

Silence. Beautiful silence, and a beautiful dream of…

Oh my God, I actually dreamed of being with Adrian. And I actually liked it. There was definitely something wrong with me.

I slowly came back to the waking world, embarrassed because of what I dreamed, but happy because of it, too.

But when I tried to move, I felt something underneath me.

I quickly opened my eyes, and realized…

Oh my God, it wasn't a dream. It really happened. Adrian's chest were slowly rising and falling underneath me, and we were both… naked.

I felt myself blushing as I looked up, hoping to see Adrian's peaceful face, expecting to watch him sleep for a while and sort out my thoughts.

But no. He was looking at me, intently, and I registered fear in his eyes. What was he afraid of? That I was going to scream and go drink a bottle of holy water? Or take a bathe in it?

"Hey," I whispered, my gaze going to his chest once again because I suddenly felt really self-conscious. I mean, we were naked in a bed, after all. And I had no idea what I was supposed to do right now.

Adrian didn't say anything, and I started scrolling through my memories. What happened in novels, after main characters did things like this?

They either did it again, cuddled or just… cooled down and continued with their lives. First option was out of the question because I was pretty certain Zoe was going to think Adrian drained me and became a Strigoi or something.

I totally forgot about her, actually. What did she think? Did she know Adrian was with me? Did she think, or know, that we were in a relationship? Was she okay with it, or was she going to tell the Alchemists anyway?

I didn't know. I really didn't know, and I had no idea how I was going to explain myself – to anyone.

I gasped, remembering something. "Oh God," I said louder than I intended, but it still came out as a near-whisper, "I forgot to tell you, Adrian, but Eddie is coming to Washington to save Jill." I put my head in my hands. "That stupid, stupid loyal dhampir."

Adrian froze underneath me. I looked up at him, but his eyebrows were furrowed. "How do you know about Eddie?" he asked, confused.

Now I was confused. "You don't seem too surprised either," I said, not understanding why he wasn't jumping up in shock.

"Lissa called me after you locked yourself in here, telling me Eddie was gone, that he disappeared from Amberwood and Palm Springs in general."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh," I simply said. So I really did call Eddie in the wrong moment, and he probably thought I was going to yell at him. Now I wanted to, so badly. "I don't suppose Lissa called you, too?" Adrian continued, oblivious to my thoughts.

I felt happier, somehow, knowing that he still decided to pick up. "I called Eddie in an attempt to calm myself down," I said, blushing again when I remembered what actually managed to calm me down. Adrian started pulling his hands through my hair, as if he was afraid of doing anything else. "And he ended up telling me he couldn't sit down and not do anything while Jill was probably being tortured somewhere."

I gulped, realizing just how selfish I was. Instead of doing a scrying spell, I was messing around in a bed. Way to go, Sydney. Every second was important, and I just wasted hours.

Adrian's voice was soft when he spoke. "Don't worry about him, Sydney. He knows how to take care of himself. Eddie'll be okay."

I shook my head. "I'm not worried about him. I'm worried about Jill. We need to do a scrying spell…" I started laughing hysterically when I realized something. "Now I can't even do half of the spells, since I'm not a virgin anymore. Ms. Terwilliger is obviously going to have to find someone else."

Adrian touched my face with his hands. Finally. "So you regret being with me?" he whispered.

I looked at his afraid expression and rolled my eyes. "No, Adrian, could you stop worrying – and thinking about it – for a second? I'm just frustrated because we should've been looking for Jill, and we were in here…" I trailed off, knowing he knew what I was implying.

"So we're just not going to talk about it?" Adrian said, frowning. I couldn't decipher his thoughts. "I was that bad?"

I looked at him, my face blank. "Okay," I said, taking a deep breath, "First of all, I wake up with you watching me, and you're afraid. And I have no idea why. Then you're cool because Eddie ran away, then you avoid talking about Jill, and now you're – I don't even know what you're doing. You're hurt, angry?" I shook my head. "And you want to talk about – what?"

Adrian was confusing me, because he was moving off of me. I protested by making strange sounds, and he chuckled, staying where he previously was – underneath me. He sighed. "First of all, you were tired and you fell asleep, so I watched you. And when you woke up you were kind of shocked, so I thought you were going to freak out because this is a big deal, Sydney, and you're acting like it's nothing."

I raised an eyebrow after he said that. I was acting like it was nothing? But how was I supposed to act? I let him continue.

"I knew about Eddie, so it wasn't a big deal. And now you just don't want to talk about what happened and I'm dying to hear your thoughts. There has to exist some impression, something. Not just referring to it as 'that.'"

I buried my head in his chest, laughing like crazy. I wasn't sure what overcame me, but I was definitely feeling happy, when I pushed away other thoughts. And Adrian was actually worrying about my opinion?

"And now you're laughing at me, so I'm definitely freaking out," he concluded, making me laugh even harder.

"The great Adrian Ivashkov," I said through a laugh, looking up at him, "not sure if his girlfriend is impressed."

Adrian just raised an eyebrow, as if challenging me to deny the fact that I was impressed.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay. I'm impressed."

He smiled, dramatically sighing in relief. "Well, now I can be peaceful because the great Sydney Sage thinks I'm amazing in bed."

I giggled. "Not quite amazing, but decent," I said, making Adrian's eyes widen.

His composure came back a millisecond later, though. "So that means you have something to compare it to? Like, for example,a kiss from Brayden?"

I made a disgusted sound and we both laughed. I narrowed my eyes, realizing Adrian was just messing with me before, when he was actually my boyfriend. He called him Bryan or Jayden or any name, except Brayden. After we broke up, he didn't get his name wrong one single time.

"We really have to talk about what happened," Adrian said, glancing at our bodies.

I simply nodded, not sure what there was to talk about. I was actually a bit bothered by the fact that Adrian had something to compare this to and that I probably wasn't at the top of the scale, but I willed the thought away. I didn't want to think about Adrian's past with women.

"And you're upset," Adrian said, watching me with a concerned look.

I bit my lower lip. "I'm just not sure how it was for you," I said truthfully. "Like you said, I have nothing to compare it to, but you do."

Adrian pulled me closer a second later, until our faces were inches apart. "Listen to me now," he practically growled, "You are not going to feel insecure or hurt because that was the best, and the most intense, and the most right thing that ever happened to me. And believe me, I'm going to give you a thousand nights to compare them with this."

My stomach fluttered at his words, mostly because they were so reassuring. The normal Sydney was back, loving and trusting her man, while the insecure Sydney shut down, thankfully.

"That was the best thing that ever happened to me, too," I whispered, "so you don't have to be worried about it."

Adrian kissed me then, for reassurance and for telling me how much he loved me because of what I said, and not just because of that, but because of everything else. I returned it passionately, but stopped after a moment, not wanting to go too far.

"So that means we're good?" Adrian whispered, his forehead on mine. "That means you're not afraid, or disgusted, or everything I feared you'd be?"

I opened my eyes, shaking my head frantically. "Of course not! Yes, this changes things, but not in a bad way. I'm in control of my power now, Adrian, and it's because of you. God knows what would've happened if you haven't decided to comply with my wishes."

"You were very persuasive," Adrian said, smirking.

I blushed. "I'm sorry about that. I was just so caught up in thinking you didn't want me, that I would've done anything just to prove myself wrong."

Adrian brushed a strand of hair from my face. "And you? Did you want me?"

I rolled my eyes, kissing his shoulder. He was warm, and I was suddenly feeling very comfortable in his arms. "I wanted you since the moment I first saw you," I said reassuringly, knowing he needed to hear this. "And now I just want you more, and I'm happy because we're finally as close as I'd wanted us to be."

Adrian kissed the top of my head again. I loved it when he did that. "Are you okay?" he asked silently, probably afraid of my answer. "I'm not sure if I was gentle enough. And I'm seriously hating myself now for not being able to use spirit on you."

I smiled, kissing his cheek. "Stop worrying so much," I said. "I'm perfectly fine."

"So the fact that I'm a Moroi doesn't matter?" Adrian continued in that concerned tone.

I sighed. He was really starting to annoy me with this, as if he wanted me to react badly to the fact that I was in bed with a Moroi. I took his face in my hands and looked at him as seriously as I could. "If you continue asking me that question, it's going to start mattering," I said. "I'm not under Alchemist compulsion anymore, Adrian. You didn't compel me into this. I don't care about that anymore."

The truth was, I did care about that. And I was freaked out by the fact that I did the worst thing an Alchemist could do – other than being bitten, even though I did that too. What managed to soothe me was the fact that Adrian was asking me if I was disgusted, over and over again, and that just made me feel more sure in what I decided. It was right, because this was Adrian. With him, everything was right. I certainly wasn't going to tell him my thoughts, since he would most definitely freak out.

"I just know that it must've been hard, because I'm what I am," Adrian said quietly.

I leaned in to kiss his cheek. "You didn't choose it, and you're not evil because of it. You're the opposite, actually – you're saving the world, while my own "pure" kind is holding a 15-year-old-girl captive, trying to find the best way of killing her."

We both shuddered, remembering Jill again. "I don't feel guilty," I whispered finally.

Adrian smiled then, kissing my forehead, obviously reassured by my words. I allowed myself to have one more minute of peace with his arms wrapped around my back and my hands on his chest. I was so comfortable, hearing our steady, harmonic breathing and just knowing that everything was fine with us.

But a minute passed by too quickly. "I need you to promise me something," I whispered near Adrian's ear, making him shiver. "It's very important."

"Of course," Adrian said immediately, his grip tightening on me.

"Just like you promised me not to bite me ever again, I need you to promise never to lie to me. Ever again. No matter if my mom is not my mom or if you did something awful or if someone died. No matter if it'll hurt me. I just need you to promise me."

I looked into Adrian's eyes and saw complete honesty there. His eyes were even more beautiful now, somehow happier, shining brighter than before. "You know how sorry I am for hiding the truth about Marcus from you," he said, pain audible in his voice. "And you know I'll never do it, ever again. No matter what. I was a moment from losing you, Sydney. But I was trying to protect you, and I'm glad because you're not angry at me anymore. Hell, I'm angry at myself. It just hurt you more."

I nodded. I allowed myself to think about it for the first time – Marcus Finch, my brother. Would have it been different if I found out a week earlier? Would have I felt better now, if I knew this information before the trial? And the worst of all, would have I been able to change anything?

Then I remembered how Adrian told me I wasn't my mother's daughter. That meant my mom was someone else, and I was scared of even thinking about it. But how did dad make mom believe in a lie? How could he deceive his wife, when she was the one to bring me to this world?

And who was I now, if I wasn't who I thought I was? Why did Jared hide Marcus, but not me?

There were so many questions, so many frightening questions, and I didn't have answers. Marcus knew at least something. And Jared, he knew everything. This was all becoming too complicated, and a suspicion rose in me – did Jared plan this? Did he plan to take me away after I found out I didn't even know who I was? Did he want to torture me further?

What secret was he hiding? Is that why he always hated me, and loved Zoe and Carly? Because I was someone else's daughter? Did he hate the fact I existed? But why did he keep me, then? Was I that important? And why was I important?

I tried to will those thoughts away. I focused on Jill, my best friend, that blue-eyed gentle Moroi girl who was suffering somewhere. If the Alchemists were the ones who held her captive, she'd get far better treatment than if she was with the Warriors. I remembered Sonya, and what they did to her, and shuddered again.

"What are you thinking about?" Adrian asked gently, kissing my neck. It's as if we wanted to touch each other all the time now. It was silly, but I loved this new sense of closeness we had.

"How to move on from here," I said calmly, focusing on the conversation. "Jill is somewhere in this town, but we don't know where exactly. Friday is in two days, and we obviously don't have a million dollars – even if we had, nothing would change, because they'd probably just kill her and run away with the money. I believe that Rose or the gang hasn't done anything to find Jill, so it's up to us to do it. We can't let Eddie walk into the fire by himself."

Adrian nodded. "This means – the scrying spell?"

I nodded. "Yes. We need many strange things to be able to do it, and it's going to be expensive. We need money and efficiency."

Adrian grinned. "Okay, so you write the list, and I'll have a talk with Rose."

I wrapped myself in sheets as Adrian started to get up. What did Rose have to do with this?

Adrian saw my confused face and just winked at me.

Minutes later, Adrian and I were both dressed – I was feeling a bit uncomfortable in that dress and I had several reasons, so I changed my clothes – and I tried to reassure myself that what happened in this room wasn't written all across my face.

Adrian, on the other hand, thought my behavior was amusing. "If you keep acting so nervous, Sage, everyone will know something's not right," he said as he opened the door, and I hit him in the arm.

"Just shut up before I decide to make an ice sculpture out of you," I said, grinning.

"That's my girlfriend," he said and –

I gasped as he collapsed into someone.

Thank God, it was just Angeline. "Ouch," she said, rubbing her forehead with her palm. "Watch where you're going, lover boy."

She looked at from Adrian to me for a second, and then turned towards me, grinning. "So you finally did it, huh? Not bad, Sydney. I wasn't sure you had it in you."

Oh my God. So it was written all over my face after all. How could I face Zoe now? How could I look her into the eyes after what I've done?

I decided to calm down – and ignore Angeline. "She didn't deny it," she whispered. "Adrian, she didn't deny it. Why didn't she deny it?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just get out of the way, Angeline, we've got some serious things to do – like, for example, finding Jill, and I have a pretty good guess you haven't found her."

Angeline stood her place. "No, but we might've tracked Eddie down. He didn't try too hard to cover his tracks, and Edison Melrose is going to land here in an hour." She raised an eyebrow, proud of her work.

"Okay. So the guardians can go and somehow get him here, where it's safe, while Adrian and I find Jill." I nodded to myself and Adrian nodded too.

"And how are you going to do that?" Angeline said, leaning on the doorway to look at us. "You seem pretty sure of your methods."

Adrian grinned. "Believe me, we have a pretty good reason." We were all silent for a moment, and then Adrian asked, "Where's Zoe, by the way?"

Angeline's grin widened. "I'm not as useless as you think. Trey and I got her to leave you alone by giving her some work to do. It was as obvious as it got that you two were…" and she winked at me, "so I asked Neil to keep her mind occupied."

I straightened. "Neil? What does he have to do with my sister?"

Angeline shrugged. "Well, an apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Is your third sister dating a vampire, too?"

My eyes widened. "Tell me where they are," I said, suddenly very angry. I had the urge to erase that smirk off her face, but Adrian's hand was there, keeping me where I was.

Angeline didn't even flinch. "We left the lovebirds in the library, that's across the street, if you didn't notice," she said, her face dead-serious.

I exhaled, not realizing I was holding my breath. Adrian, meanwhile, said, "Well, you do inappropriate things in the library all the time, Angeline."

Angeline just giggled. "You can go return her here in an hour or something, but I wouldn't interrupt. The more time you have, the better."

I nodded. Getting things prepared for the spell was going to take time, and Zoe would easily get suspicious if she saw me staring in a bowl for hours. And I didn't want to tell her I was a witch. Not yet. It was still too dangerous.

I hated it – having to hide from my sister, not being able to talk to her and just be honest.

And I didn't like Neil. I really didn't like him. If it wasn't a spell I was preparing myself for, I surely would've took her by the hair and dragged her back, locking the door behind us and leaving Neil outside.

But now I had another problem – Rose. What was she going to think when she saw Adrian and me? Was it really written all over my face? Would she notice?

I had to hope she wouldn't.

Not even fifteen minutes passed, and I was in a dark room, looking into that bowl, searching for Jill.

It turned out that Adrian had a talk with Rose about Abe, and that he decided to give her the money and access for all things I needed. Adrian said he would've done it himself, but he couldn't use compulsion anymore because of the anti-depressants and everyone else were dhampirs.

I still didn't understand why Rose didn't come here banging on the door, demanding answers. Why were Adrian and I absent for so long? Why did I need strange plants? Why was I looking into a bowl?

Guess I'd find out as soon as I found Jill.

Finding magic, accessing it, and using it was much easier this time. It was almost too easy. I remembered the first time I was doing this, not believing in myself but pushing myself far for Sonya, and collapsing afterwards.

This time, I just sat there for five minutes until the vision came and I found Jill in a very big building. She was in the basement. And thank God, she was still in this town.

So after five minutes, I got up, walked to the living room to announce my success.

And Rose was nowhere to be seen. The living room was empty, except for Trey and Adrian laughing. Probably about Brayden again.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, glancing around the room again.

Adrian looked up at me. "They went for Eddie," he said cheerfully. "And Angeline went to the library to get Zoe and Neil back. I thought you'd want her here."

I nodded. "Well, Jill is very close. I don't know what we should do – wait for Rose and Dimitri to come back with Eddie, or to go for her by ourselves."

Adrian looked at the ceiling, thinking hard. "I'm not sure. We'll vote. We might not need them, anyway, and with Eddie probably enraged, they'd just slow us down."

I bit my lower lip. I was nervous – what if we ran into an Alchemist building, or worse, if the Warriors were there? Perhaps we'd need their help.

Still, I wasn't surprised when everyone, even Zoe, voted for us to get it over with already and save Jill.

Every second mattered.


	67. Chapter 16, part four: Protect Them

**Author's note:**_ I'm going to write some chapters in advance (just in case I don't have time to update during the week), so I'm sorry if you're reading one-shots and they feel abandoned. I promised Rebelde09 and I haven't done any assignments (and I have three), so Sunday is going to feel a bit different (I mean, I have a 200-page-book to read and then write about it! And then the teacher will ask me about it in Monday :'( it isn't fair, but…)_

_Now onto your lovely reviews:_

_1. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: And maybe they were just reading books? :D Okay, even I'm laughing at that one, but Sydney believes so! And Angeline, you know her. No taboos or anything, just straightforwardness. Thank you! :)_

_2. __**sheerio4ever**__: I laughed hard at that wave! :D Yup, that'd be awesome, and perhaps she wouldn't even know? Love you too, and thank you! :)_

_3. __**TheHappyLol**__: Oh come on, no problem, I'm just glad you're not crying anymore. Phew. And yay! You liked it! Thank you :D_

_4. __**rebelde09**__: I know how you feel, I have classes every single day of the week from 8AM to 2,30PM. That's why I'm writing in advance while I still can. I wasn't sure if it was the right moment, but when I started writing I saw that it was :) I'm glad you liked it! Well, Adrian told her people would know something was wrong, right? ;D Thank you so much, love you too! :)_

_5. __**gokdenlips324**__: High five for headaches! Laugh, but my passed when I started cleaning the kitchen. You should try it :D Thank you!_

_6. __**guest7**__: I'm trying to think what she'd think if that happened, Richelle will surely make it sound more… well, real. Thank you so much! :)_

_7. __**happygirl0987**__: Thank you! :)_

_8. __**KyKat**__: Well that's a compliment! And it means so, so much! Thank you so much, I'm so glad you think like that! :)_

_9. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Readers are going to kill me, but the PM button isn't working! Endure long conversations for a week longer :D Well I'm kind of curvy, but since I started vacuuming and cleaning I lost some weight and people say I'm skinny now (though I'm far from that, believe me!), and I guess they like my curviness because every single girl in my school is either too skinny or too overweight, I'm somewhere in the middle :D Okay, I'm not, I don't know how much I weigh and I didn't have the courage to find out since 8__th__ grade. Tea = I love it! Other than tea, I drink only natural and mineral water, so I survive on it! :D Oh, I'll visit England, don't worry :P I'm from Bosnia and Hercegovina, a beautiful country on the Balkans peninsula :) I laughed while I was writing that scene, thinking about Angeline whispering "she didn't deny it" to Adrian like Sydney isn't in front of her :D Glad you liked it! And yup, a battle, and lots of magic! And at that hint I'm just going to wink ;D I also think that reading TFH after this experience is going to be funny (when I actually get something right and it happens in TFH) but also very different because you simply know now that there is another world in which things didn't happen the same way. Love you too, I really love these conspiratory conversations! :D High five for everything, and thank you! :)_

_10. __**Lilietje99**__: I'm putting my hands on my hips and shouting at you – Tell me what one-shot you want me to write! Immediately! You might wait a little while to find out about Zeil, though, sine Sydney's a bit slow and there'll be many things going on :D Thank you, and love you! :)_

_11. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Yup, and I'm so excited! Thank you, my friend! :D_

_12. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: It's getting good now? So you mean it was bad before? Raising an eyebrow… okay, just kidding! :D Thank you, thank you! :)_

_13. __**Lesha11**__: God, I'm embarrassing myself again by writing Jill and thinking about Lissa… Thank you for pointing out! :)_

_8:45AM, I'm starting. I hope to do at least two TFH chapters today so that you can have normal daily updates. :)_

_Love you all!_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

We all went to prepare for this – Angeline, Trey and Neil took stakes, blades, many things that could actually harm someone, while Adrian and Zoe stood there awkwardly, saying they didn't know how – or didn't want, in Adrian's case – to use them.

I found my purse and put various charms on, taking care Zoe didn't see me do it – bracelets, necklaces, of every single spell I knew and for which I was prepared. Ms. Terwilliger prepared me for this – shields, shards, fireballs, many advanced spells, and most importantly, telekinesis, were ready.

I was ready.

So we walked out of there and I was feeling like some special agent. Angeline and Trey on the front, holding hands, Adrian and I behind them, and my little sister and her dhampir guardian in the back.

Perhaps we'd need Rose and Dimitri, after all. They'd be enraged when they found out we did this by ourselves, I knew, but how could I explain how I knew where Jill was? And what if we were too late?

I had to pray we didn't. and I had to pray we wouldn't earn suspicious glances if people saw us. That's why I leaned closer into Angeline and told her, "Find some street with not as many people. We're not exact examples of normal people taking a walk."

Angeline turned around. "I wanted to show off a bit, but as you wish, my queen," she said and I had to roll my eyes. Angeline, the crazy Keeper girl I grew fond of. I wanted to protect her too.

We were walking through a park – the sun was setting, and I realized how much time we lost because of me and Adrian messing around, and then I remembered in what state I was after Rose told me Marcus was my brother.

I was strong now – strong enough to hurt everyone who tried to hurt my family. Jill, Angeline, even Trey – included.

That's why I should've banged my head on the wall for not putting invisibility charm on the group when Zoe screamed.

I turned around, and saw that Neil was on the ground, blood trickling from his forehead. He was conscious, thank God.

And my sister, my little sister was in the hands of Keith Darnell.

"We meet again, Sydney," he said in that new cold, emotionless voice of his. "But this time, you won't get away with cheap tricks or compulsion." He said the word as if it was a curse.

Adrian stepped forward. "You up for another round? Let the poor girl go and find someone your own size," he said, of course. It was just who he was – he didn't see the knife on Zoe's throat, he didn't see how dangerous Keith was, he only saw a chance to help someone. My Adrian.

I took him by the arm and tried to put myself in front of him, but he wouldn't move. "Let her go, Keith," I said in a very cold voice. My hands were balled into fists and I could feel magic rising within me. I controlled it, and I wanted it to get out before he had the chance to hurt my sister.

But he was hurting her with every touch – Zoe was trembling and making scared sounds. It helped in stirring the magic even more – I felt it all around me, and since we were in a park, it was easy to manipulate with her.

Meanwhile, Keith just smirked. "We'll have enough time, vampire, trust me," he said coldly. "I'm going to slice your fingers off, one by one, and I'm going to enjoy it so much. And as for you, Sydney, you're not worth of the surname Sage. That's why you and Zoe can both go willingly with me, or I'll drag you both to your father – and believe me, I'll do it gladly."

That was it. I raised a hand and Keith was suddenly gasping, fighting for air, coughing like crazy, and the knife fell from his hand. I didn't know what Angeline and Trey were doing – they were probably helping Neil get up, but I didn't want Adrian anywhere near Keith. Not after the threat he made.

I pulled at Adrian's arm but he ignored me, running over to Zoe and – hugging her? Okay, she was crying, so she probably didn't even realize Adrian was a Moroi. He carried her until they were back next to me. Keith's face was purple by the time that happened, and I wasn't finished with him.

What I didn't notice on time – and I should have – was the mobile phone in his hand. I was too busy arguing with Adrian to see it. "Sydney, let's go," he said, touching my arm.

I shook my head. "He has to pay for every single thing he did, and destroyed."

"Sydney," Adrian said again, gently. "It's enough. You're going to kill him, and then you're going to be just like him. And you're not like Keith. Let him go, and let's go. Someone is going to come."

I sighed and dropped my hand. Keith was still making choking sounds – I should've known they were fake – so I was content. It was enough, for now.

Before I even had the chance to turn around, I heard Angeline hiss. I finally saw the whole situation – Trey and Angeline were fighting…

With a man. He stepped into the sunlight for a moment, and I could see his golden lily tattoo shining. He was wearing black clothes, similar to Angeline's, and I couldn't help but ask myself if there was a department of Alchemists trained for fight.

And he certainly was trained. Angeline actually had problems with him, and Trey was too busy fighting another man to help her.

Thankfully, Neil was on his legs and he kicked the man in the leg. The man yelped and fell to the ground where Angeline hit his head – and he was unconscious. They went over to help Trey fight off the other man.

When I turned back around, in front of Adrian and me were at least four men – and Keith was gone, only a mobile phone lying on the ground.

Stupid, stupid. Why did I even let Zoe come along? Why didn't I leave her with Neil? But she was so fierce, saying she wanted to finally see what the Alchemists were doing, saying she was old enough, saying she wanted to be with me. Her eyes were shining and I thought to myself, _Perhaps she's safer with me than alone with Neil in the safe house. _Now I realized I'd much rather have her alone with a dhampir guardian, but safe from the Alchemists, than here, in the middle of a battle.

Adrian put Zoe gently on the ground and we tried to form a half-circle around her. We both raised our hands in front of us, as if we knew kung-fu or something.

"Sydney, go, I'll fight them off," Adrian said. Self-sacrificing himself again. I shook my head.

"I promised to protect us, Adrian, and you're a Moroi – they'll beat you in the blink of an eye," I said fiercely. I knew it'd hurt him a bit, but it was the truth – only magic could help us now.

So before Adrian started arguing with me again, I tried to do the same with approaching men like I did with Keith – it didn't work, perhaps because of the distance, perhaps because I was drained or perhaps they were immune, I didn't know.

So I decided to close my eyes and feel the rocks underneath us. It was the winter, and everything was covered with snow, but I could feel it all underneath us.

I chanted Latin in my mind and out loud, not caring about what people would think. The stones suddenly flew from the ground upwards – I didn't see them, but I felt them, and I knew they were floating in the air now.

Without thinking about the fact that these men were people, after all, and replaying the promise I gave to Adrian to protect us in my mind, my hand went forward and I knew the rocks did, too.

I heard yells of surprise and exclaims of pain, but I didn't want to watch. _These men want to hurt Zoe and Adrian_, I told myself. _It's the only way._

"Sydney, there are more," Adrian said and I automatically opened my eyes.

The men from before were on the ground, and thank God I aimed in the legs. They were conscious, and they were in pain, judging by the looks on their faces.

But the men with guns weren't what I expected. Adrian immediately tried to protect me with his body, but the rush of magic was still in me and it was easy to use telekinesis on the guns, making them fall to the ground.

They were enraged, and I didn't see one of them jumping me from the side, but Adrian was there, and his fist was prepared. It connected with the attacker's nose and he fell backwards, on the ground.

_Good shot_, I thought to myself, but I was too busy with chanting Latin and Greek and making a shield for Adrian.

Thank God I did it on time, or he would've been shot. He was so busy with hitting the Alchemist with his hands that he didn't see one of those men far away shoot a bullet right at him.

But I was getting weaker, and I couldn't fight forever.

"Adrian," I said, and it startled him out of his trance. He must've been very angry. I spread my hands, making another shield, just as another bullet came towards Adrian. I didn't have time to think about Neil or Angeline or Trey – my heart was beating in the rhythm _Zoe, Zoe, Zoe_.

"Take Zoe, and I'll make a shield for us," I said, feeling a little dizzy but still strong enough.

"There's blood trickling out of your nose," Adrian said, his eyes concerned as he got up.

I shook my head. "It's not important, Adrian!" I snapped. "Take Zoe, I'm right behind you."

Adrian and I looked each other for a second and everything stopped. The bullet that was going towards me, the gunshots, Angeline's yelps, everything froze.

We seemed to be having a conversation – Adrian said, _But what about you?_ And I answered, _I can take care of myself, I'm a witch_. Then he said, _But you're getting weaker, how can I choose your sister over you?___And I said, _You can, because that's what I want_.

And then we said, _I love you_ in the same time.

We both blinked and I made another shield just in time to prevent a bullet from shooting me straight in the forehead. These men were following orders – alive or dead. My father told them they could kill us.

Adrian picked Zoe up from the ground and I made a 10-second-lasting shield to protect me as I turned my back to those people. They were too far for me to throw shards at them or work telekinesis, and I didn't want to summon fire because we were in a park.

Trey and Angeline were fighting off two men while Neil fought one, too, and he wasn't as successful – Keith must've sliced him with a knife a bit.

I ran towards them and chanted again, making those men lose their balance, and they all fell to the ground. Angeline and Trey looked at each other and then turned around to look at me. I simply smirked at them.

Adrian was carrying Zoe away and Neil kicked one of the attackers that jumped at him with his leg – again. It was like, his signature move or something. Angeline and Trey understood that we were retreating and they ran after him.

I was the last one to leave, and I ignored the sight of unconscious people and blood on the snow. I also ignored the sounds – screams, yelps, moans, words my mind couldn't decipher, gunshots…

Then I heard another scream, and my knees fell on the ground, taking me with them. I didn't know what was happening – I only saw blood on the snow in front of me. Probably from my nose, I thought.

I felt a burning on my shoulder, and I realized it was me who screamed. Everything stopped for another moment and then my eyes closed.

I was drained, dizzy, and I was shot. The last thought to cross my mind was, _At least it's just my shoulder_.


	68. Chapter 17, part one: Useless

**Author's note:**_ I did it to my stomach again – I lifted a big cement bag and I'm hoping it won't be as bad as last time. Uh. So it's Sunday and I've been cleaning the house for 3 hours, I still haven't read that book and it's due Tuesday, I still haven't done those 2 assignments and… I'm sitting here writing. Yeah. I'm crazy. And I'm angry because my sister should have been working for 3 hours and I should've been doing my homework, but she was too busy watching a movie! So if I write a crazy chapter, don't mind – I just want to hurt someone now._

_And did I mention that I won't have internet for another 9 days? Hell yeah! I just need to get an F and everything is going to be perfect!_

_1.__** TheHappyLol**__: Yup, Sydney is awesome. And you might have been wrong there… Thank you! :)_

_2. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: I heard your prayers! :D Thank you :)_

_3. __**Katrick**__: I didn't respond the review since you wrote it after I updated c67. Hopper and Lily, they're left in Palm Springs (but in reality I forgot about them :( and I'm sorry). And okay, so the story I wrote (it was around 100 pages long) was called "Out of reality" and in it, a girl dreamed about being abducted by aliens. Yes, you read right – aliens. And then she wakes up, thinking it was all a dream but she finds marks on her body that indicate it was real. And then a guy shows up, telling her he is one of the aliens and that they'll come for her. It happens and she doesn't fight them off but she gets abducted, and then that alien comes for her rescue. They fight together against the aliens and somehow manage to destroy their- spaceship and they end up together. And here comes the best part: the girl suddenly wakes up in her house, as if nothing happened – no marks, nothing, and wonders if it was just a dream, or if it all really happened but her alien brought her back home. I'm crying from laughing, it's so stupid! :D Well I'm 16 and I started writing poetry at the age of 6, and I started writing novels since I was 12. I'd love to hear the title and read the book! :) Hope this answer helps you, good luck in school and thank you! You rock ;D Btw, I know how it is to use your free time for writing instead of going out with friends. In class, when the teacher asked how we spent our summer, everyone said, "I went here or there and I met so many new friends! We went out all the time!" while my answer was, "Umm… I was reading and writing? Is that enough of an answer? Can you ask someone else now?" :D_

_4. __**Sam1405**__: Keith wasn't pretending, but the Alchemists carried him away from the battlefield because he's important, after all. Yup, but the main thing is getting her away from there! Thank you so much for your endless support! :)_

_5. __**Alicella Ivashkov**__: Will this chapter disappoint you (no camps!)? :D And yeah, we all know she's awesome, but there are consequences :( Thank you!_

_6. __**bukwurm13**__: Aww, I'm so glad you liked it. And I hope it happens like you wanted! ;D Thank you so much._

_7. __**happygirl0987**__: Thank you so much ! :)_

_8. __**DoughnutsForever**__: It'll be more the talking part and I'm very talkative, but my problem is the fact that I don't like French literature. Believe me, I was overweight before this summer, and then I vacuum cleaned at least 50 carpets and the whole house perhaps 5 times – I'm at least 10kg lighter now! Well, I'm not sure, I hope I'm not overweight (but I'm short, so I look more overweight). Ah, I love chocolate! :D And I'm so glad you think Bosnia is beautiful! It's my heaven, really. Yeah, my first thought was, "Oh my God now Adrian is going to want to strangle himself because he can't heal her." I'm scared of TFH because the ending is going to murder us all, and I'm scared of VA movie because it might not be as spectacular as I expect it to be :( But Dimitri, he is soooooooooo handsome, I'd watch the movie just for him even if it was awful! :D High five back! ;D I love talking to you. You are definitely going to get a long, long PM in 9 days and in it you'll see only, "Awwww that was so cute, aaaaaah he is so handsome, aaaaah what do you think about this or that or something." I'm rolling my eyes at my fangirling now :D Thank you, and love you! :)_

_9. __**sheerio4ever**__: Yup, we all love Zoe, she is like a tame Sydney. In some ways – you remember when Sydney says her definition of "scandalous" was to put on a skirt and a shirt of different patterns? We all just love her :D love you too! :)_

_10. __**Lilietje99**__: High five – that's my kind of thing too! (That's probably why I love The Mortal Instruments) I would've updated last evening (I had the chapter almost prepared), but I didn't see your review so a big facepalm! :( Thank you! :)_

_Love you all!_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

"I can't talk with you right now, Lissa!" I shouted on the phone. But can you blame me? My Sydney, my whole world, was on the couch beside me, and her heart was beating very slowly. "She is barely breathing!"

So much for plans and promises and everything. To hell with anti-depressants! If she could break her promise and get herself shot, I could do it too! I'd never take the anti-depressants, ever again. That was a promise to myself.

I couldn't heal her, and she was starting to tremble. And all I needed now was Lissa to shout at me.

"You are going to get her to a hospital, and then you're all going to get back home!" she continued. She was getting annoying.

But maybe she was right. Maybe Sydney would die before I could heal her, and that was something I didn't want to allow. No, that was something I _wouldn't_ allow. But either way, Sydney was going to be fine. "She's trembling," I said to Lissa, hoping she'd give me some advice.

"Get her to a hospital!" she continued and I sighed, giving the phone to Trey.

"Umm… hello?" I heard him say, but I was too busy with worrying about Sydney to think about it – or laugh at it. I wasn't in the mood for laughing.

I was also very, very afraid. She was paler than usual, her eyelids were closed and her hands weren't warm. I was starting to panic internally, and the only thing I could do while waiting for Angeline was to pull a blanket over her and hope it'd keep her warm. I also noticed how her tattoo wasn't quite golden anymore – it was turning silver, just like Marcus said. It made me feel better, somehow.

"Where is that damn first aid kit, Angeline?" I shouted, and glanced behind me, seeing Trey murmur something on the phone, pacing the room. Zoe was on the floor and Neil was behind her, whispering something in her ear. She was crying.

I decided we'd never vote for doing something again. We were supposed to save Jill, and all we managed to do is get ourselves into a trap.

And get Sydney shot, of course. I took her hands in mine, not caring about Zoe or anything, but just about her and the way she fought. The way she protected us all. I fulfilled my promise – I got Zoe and myself to safety, and I knew that in her dream world, she was happy and calm.

But Jill was still out there somewhere, and as far as I knew, the Alchemists were going to find us in the next five minutes.

I didn't care, though. All I cared about was Sydney and how the hell we were going to help her. My powers were going to be shut out for at least another ten hours or so, since the pill's effects lasted for at least 24 hours, and I cursed myself for deciding to take that damned pill.

And now I had no way of helping Sydney.

Angeline finally came back with the first aid kit – it felt like it took her hours to find it, hours of Sydney bleeding on the couch, and she shrugged when she saw my face. "Hey, I didn't put it under the bed, so don't blame me," she said.

I put the blanket down to her waist and carefully removed her clothes. They were bloody and I could feel the blood still trickling freely from the wound.

I gulped, but not because I was a vampire and there was blood here – fresh blood; it was because this was my Sydney and she was getting weaker by the seconds.

Angeline quickly went to work, and all I could do was kneel there and give her things she asked – gauze, a scalpel, alcohol, a washcloth, a knife, a lighter?

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow when she saw my hesitation. "The bullet is still in there somewhere, and she won't get any better until I get it out," she said. When I still didn't move, she sighed and touched my arm. "Adrian, I've done this to my brother once, I know how to do it. Just trust me."

I swallowed, looking at Sydney's shoulder again. Angeline managed to clean it a little, but it was still bleeding and it looked awful.

I nodded and gave her the lighter I kept in my pocket – just in case, I always told myself. A thought crossed my mind – her brother was actually shot once? But the thought disappeared when Angeline started heating the knife with the lighter.

Watching Sydney's pained expression, even though she was unconscious, was very hard for me. Trying not to look too suspicious to Zoe, I leaned closer and whispered soothing words into her ear while Angeline drilled a hole in her shoulder. She relaxed a little.

In maybe an hour, the wound was cleaned and the bullet was out. Angeline was just finishing making stitches when we heard a knock on the door.

And another one, and two afterwards.

I raised an eyebrow. So Dimitri and Rose finally managed to get Castile back. At least something was going by the plan.

Trey was the one to rise and get to the door. He looked as if he just woke up, rubbing his eyes.

He opened the door – and Rose burst in, saying, "Guys, you have to come and help!"

I didn't even move. My mission was keeping Sydney safe, and I wasn't going to leave her in this vulnerable state. "Where's the fire, Rose?" I asked in a calm voice.

Rose gave me a look that said, _Shut up_. I noticed blood on her clothes – God, who was hurt now?

"Dimitri- he's fighting them off," she said, breathless. "You have to come and help." She said this while looking at Angeline and Neil, who were already nodding and getting up.

"He's fighting who off?" Trey asked.

"The warriors," Rose said while Angeline and Neil found their stakes and put them among the guardian gear on their waists. "Eddie found Jill, and when we got to him, it was too late." She shook her head. "We couldn't find him anywhere."

Suddenly, the room fell into grave silence. Trey gulped and when he went after Angeline, she shook her head and gave him a passionate kiss. It was a kiss of goodbye.

Rose stood there, watching me and how I held Sydney's arms in mine. Her eyes didn't widen or anything, she simply said, "What happened to her?"

I glanced at Sydney – she wasn't moving, but I could hear her heart beating. She was going to be fine. "She got shot by the Alchemists. We were trying to get to Jill, but we fell right into a trap."

Rose nodded. From the corner of my eye I saw Zoe grip Neil's hands in hers and whisper to him, "You better be back, Neil."

Neil smiled and kissed her cheek. She didn't flinch, didn't do or say anything, and I felt my eyebrow rise. So the apple didn't fall far from the tree, after all.

Sydney was going to kill Zoe.

"Okay, let's go," Rose said and the three guardians left, leaving a smell of fear, desperation and bravery behind them.

Zoe fell to the floor and started crying again, while Trey and I looked at each other. Trey nodded at my expression and crossed the distance between them.

Trey sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. "They're all going to be okay," he said gently, but it just made Zoe cry harder.

Since Zoe obviously wasn't in any state to watch how I treated Sydney – she was in Trey's chest, crying her soul out – I decided to have a moment with Sydney.

First I brushed a strand of hair from her left cheek, which left her tattoo bare. I decided to examine it – it really had a silver glow to it, rather than golden. Combined with her pale tan, it looked even more beautiful than before.

I touched her cheek with my fingers lightly, just tracing the pattern of it. Sydney always loved it when I did that, and I loved the fact that it made her lose focus on things. And focus her on me.

But the reality was, she had to make it through another ten hours in this state. Angeline managed to stop the bleeding, thank God, but was it enough? Did she lose too much blood already? Should've I listened to Lissa and taken her to a hospital? But it would've been too risky – the Alchemists would've found her in the blink of an eye and it'd only make things worse.

So I sighed, listening to Zoe's sobs, and decided to pray. I was never much of a believer, but Sydney believed in God, so I decided to try believing too. _Please, God, if you're there, just don't let her die. Bring her back to me, help her be strong; hell, give her my strength if you must. But just let her stay alive. Let her stay with me._ I felt stupid, because I knew it wouldn't help, but it didn't hurt me or anything, so it was worth a try.

I was next to Sydney, holding her cold hands in mine for minutes or hours, I don't remember. I remember that my back was to the couch and my head next to Sydney's and that I dozed off. I also remembered how it was oddly silent in the room when Zoe stopped crying.

And the next thing I remember, is an angel waking me up. "Adrian," someone called.

I didn't want to wake up. Sydney could be dead, Dimitri and Rose and Neil and Angeline could be dead, too, and the Alchemists could be banging on the door. Zoe could also be a traitor, Marcus or Keith could be searching for us, and we could be on the edge between life and death. Sydney already was there.

I wanted to stay in my dreams, happy with my Sydney and without anyone chasing us or telling us what is right and wrong. But the voice was too beautiful to be dismissed. "Adrian, wake up," it called again.

And so I woke up. The first thing that hit me was Sydney's smell, and I had to smile. She was close, and that was good. Then I felt something warm between my hands – so she wasn't dead, and she was there, next to me. Then I finally found the courage to open my eyes.

I found myself pulled into her golden eyes that were watching me. I blinked and leaned back a little, realizing I must've ended up next to her in my sleep.

We were both smiling. "Hey," she said shyly.

"Hey," I answered, not sure how to react – to scream or to simply kiss her. She was there, and she was conscious. And she was safe, because I was there to guard her from anything and everything.

I quickly looked around us – the same room, the same couch, Zoe and Trey on the same place, both asleep. Zoe's head was on Trey's shoulder and he had an arm wrapped around her shoulder.

Well, they better wake up before Angeline comes back, I thought to myself.

"We have to be as quiet as possible," I said, leaning in to kiss Sydney. "They could wake up in any moment."

Sydney nodded, and there was no more pretending – we were kissing, and I was touching her head with my hands, trying to tell her how she scared me and trying to scream at her not to try it ever again.

She smiled against my lips – she was probably trying to tell me how it was worth it and how we made it – the hole in her shoulder didn't matter to her. All that mattered was the fact that we were all safe.

But were we really? What would happen with Jill, kidnapped and sentenced to death in two days? What would happen with Eddie, in danger of being killed immediately by vampire hunters? What would happen with Rose, Dimitri, Neil and Angeline, trying to fight so many people off? And what would happen to us, if they failed?

"What happened?" Sydney whispered when our lips parted. "After they shot me?"

"You let out a cry and I immediately turned around. I gave Zoe to Neil and ran back to you. They were already trying to drag you away, so I had to… use my hands in order to save you, but I did it."

The pain showed up in the moment when Sydney touched the back of my palms. She knew what was wrong immediately. "Your hand – it's-"

"Broken, I know," I said. "That guy had a head made of rock, but I knocked him out and took you in my arms and we managed to get out of there somehow. They shot at us, and I think that we were still under some kind of a spell because we weren't shot."

Sydney nodded. "I put a shield on Zoe and you; it must've stayed after I lost consciousness…"

I nodded. "But it doesn't matter now. How is your shoulder?" I looked into her eyes. "And don't lie to me. You know I can tell."

Sydney swallowed. "It's as if my arm is burning," she whispered. "It really hurts."

I sighed, thankful because she was at least honest, and I hugged her to me. We stayed in that position with me cursing myself silently for not being able to heal her again. The silence lasted until Sydney whispered, "Where are Neil and Angeline? And why is Trey hugging my sister?"

I wanted to laugh, but I knew it'd just wake Zoe up and end up this wonderful moment, so I settled on chuckling. "She was crying because Neil had to go fight with Warriors, and because you were shot, so Trey was the only suitable person that was able to soothe her."

Sydney pulled back, wincing when her shoulder connected with the couch. "Warriors? You mean _vampire hunters_? But what do they have to do with-" her eyes suddenly lit up with realization. "Eddie."

I nodded. "Rose and Dimitri couldn't get him in time, so they decided to follow him and get him out of the mess. Rose came here, telling us Dimitri was trying to fight them all of and they went with-"

Four knocks.

I quickly got up. Sydney was watching me with confusion in her eyes, but I put a finger on my lips. It could still be the Alchemists, someone could've led them here-

I opened the door and Angeline was the first one to come in. She was carrying someone's legs…

Rose was holding Dimitri by his shoulders and they got him into the living room. Behind them came Neil with a bloody trail on the left side of his head…

Zoe jumped up suddenly.

"What's going on?" Trey said sleepily and I felt bad for him, seeing he was the only confused person in the whole group.

Rose put Dimitri into one of the rooms, and even though I felt bad for leaving Sydney in the living room to watch her sister cry for Neil, I had to follow them. They put him on the bed slowly and gently and as soon as Rose dropped his shoulders, her guardian mask vanished, showing a concerned, afraid girl underneath.

Angeline vanished too – she probably went into the living room to find Trey or something. I didn't care.

I cared about Rose, who was now on the floor, her head in her hands. "You have to heal him, Adrian, he's going to die," she said.

I looked at the Russian. He was enormous, that was for sure, and parts of his clothes were torn and bloody, but I didn't see any wounds she was implying.

"Where's the wound?" I asked, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. I was feeling like a nurse or something. The only thing missing was actual knowledge. I had no idea what to do or how to clean his wounds or anything, and my healing skills wouldn't return for at least 9 hours.

"They hit him everywhere!" Rose screamed from underneath me and I was starting to be suspicious. Was she going through a panic attack?

Dimitri's body proved as much. He had slices here and there and I found a bloody wound on the side of his head – that was probably the thing that made him lose consciousness – but other than that, he was pretty much unharmed. There were some bruises, sure, and… a pretty bad wound probably made by a knife in his hand, but nothing else. I couldn't feel his blood flowing through some major wound. Russian was hard to kill.

I sat down on the floor, taking Rose's hands in my own. She was crying. "Rose, he's okay-" I started.

Rose shook her head. "They almost killed him, Adrian. When I saw him fall to the ground, I… I…" she shook her head again, more tears on her cheeks.

"Hey," I said gently. I had no idea what I was dealing with, but I already had one girl to handle. I could handle Rose, too. "It's okay. He's okay. He'll need to rest, but he's a dhampir and dhampirs heal fast."

Rose looked up at me. "Really? They- they didn't harm him really bad?"

I shook my head. The fact that the great Rose Hathaway, the girl that never cried or broke down or panicked, was crying in front of me made me smile. "No. You can see it for yourself."

Rose sniffed and nodded, slowly getting up. But before she quite managed to do it, she started falling back to the ground.

As I caught her, I noticed there was a lot of blood on her chest. "You, on the other hand…" I said as I put her in my arms and started carrying her to the other room, "Might be harmed pretty badly."

Rose shook her head. "It's nothing… You need to heal Dimitri first…" she was sounding like a broken record and I simply carried her as I called for Angeline.

"Angeline! We might need a little help here!" I shouted.

"Dimitri…" Rose whispered once again and her eyes closed.

_Please, spirit, return as soon as possible_, I begged myself. _I need to heal them all._


	69. Chapter 17, part two: Self-Control

**Author's note:**_ Guys, I don't have time to respond to your reviews but I read them this morning and they're all beautiful! Please, don't be mad at ne but I am so tired and I have that book to read until tomorrow morning (I read 22 pages only and I'm going to read it for the next five-six hours at least) and thank God I had a chapter prepared. Tomorrow? I hope everything will be okay. I hope I'll come home sooner and be able to update. I'm sorry again._

_Love you all!_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

"Okay, so now you need to tell us what happened," Zoe said in her soothing voice. It was very awkward, strange, weird and a lot other things – seeing her act this way with a dhampir. But then again, it was strange for Sydney too.

And even weirder was seeing Neil nod while she put gauze around his head, making him look like a war veteran. "So, we followed Rose to one of the buildings and right as we came into a large storage room, Dimitri was hit in the head with some kind of a pipe and Rose screamed, running towards him," Neil started in his British accent.

Well, that much I knew already. Angeline was taking care of Rose and Trey was trying to wake Dimitri up and give him a pill for headache or something, so the only person we could interrogate was, obviously, Neil.

I was on the floor beside Sydney again, and I was still holding her hands in mine. Zoe didn't react – she was too caught up in trying to help Neil to see anything else. He was looking a bit embarrassed about it, but he didn't protest. Hell, I wouldn't have protested if a mini-Sydney took care of my wounds neither.

"And so we came to fight those…" he shook his head in amazement. "They were like… I can't explain it."

"Like middle-age knights?" Sydney tried.

"Exactly," Neil said. "With swords and… crossbows and stuff, I felt like I was in the _King Arthur _movie or something."

Sydney laughed. We all looked at her strangely, and she frowned. "What? It was a good joke. Neil is British and King Arthur is from…"

Neil cleared his throat and I had to cover my mouth with my hand to stop myself from laughing. Sydney looked at me again, asking me silently what was wrong, and I just ruffled her hair. "You're so cute," I whispered and Sydney blushed.

When I looked back at Zoe and Neil, they were both looking at us strangely and I had to gulp. Oh God, they saw us interact friendly. Would they put two and two together?

Neil stopped the awkwardness by continuing his story. "And we tried to fight them off, but there was, like, hundreds of them. It was probably some main base of them. So Angeline took Dimitri by the legs and Rose by the shoulders while I fought them off. We managed to get away somehow, but only because some alarm went off and they just ran off somewhere, deeper into the building. Thank God they did, because we would've been dead otherwise."

"Oh Neil," Zoe whispered and Sydney didn't hear, but I did, "You were so brave."

Neil blushed. "It was nothing, really," he muttered. "Just doing my job."

"So here's the thing," I said, avoiding Sydney's suspicious glance that told me, _You're going to tell me what she told me later._ "Castile went in and you were the bait, getting them off his track until he saved Jill. But something obviously went wrong and then he returned the favor – he got caught and became the bait, while you managed to return. Now my question is, what do we do now? Even if Castile managed to get Jill out of there somehow, he doesn't know where we are-"

"He knows," Angeline said from behind us. I turned around and saw her wearing some kind of apron. She was drying her hands on it, apparently and the apron was bloody. I raised an eyebrow, wondering if she was trying to scare Zoe because she saw her in Trey's embrace.

"When did you tell him?" Sydney said, putting two and two together.

"Well, he called me when we arrived and you were…" she looked pointedly at Sydney and me, "Asking me how the mission was, what were our plans, where we were… you know, I thought it was because he was angry for not being involved and that he wanted to see if we could help Jill. So I told him, the sign, the building, everything. I had no idea he was actually planning to come here."

"So if he actually manages to do it, it'll take him an hour to come here?" Neil asked.

Sydney shook her head. "First of all, if the alarm went off they are likely to catch him, and believe me, they won't hesitate in murdering both Jill and him. Second, it isn't likely that he found Jill because the building is obviously big and I don't even understand how in the world he knew where she was-"

Sydney was cut off by four solid knocks on the door. We all jumped up, except for Sydney with her wounded shoulder, but Angeline was the first one to get to the door, a stake in her hand.

When the door opened, two persons immediately fell to the floor, and all I could see was bloody light-brown hair.

Jill.

I let go of Sydney's arms and ran until I fell to the floor next to them.

_God, please let her be alive,_ I prayed again. Perhaps there really was something in these prayers, after all.

I found her head somewhere underneath all that hair and tried to pull her towards me, but Eddie was gripping her waist.

Angeline was beside him, saying gently, "She's safe now, Eddie, you can let go."

And he did. There was obviously something in the guardian codex that made them jump up and fall down after someone say the words _protect_ and _safe_.

Well, Castile really did it. Jill was in my arms, her eyes were closed and her clothes were torn and bloody, but her heart was beating. She was breathing.

Jill was alive.

I hugged her body to me and inhaled the smell – well, she didn't take a shower for days, she smelled of blood and dirt and sweat and ash, but it could all be washed up with water and soap. I inspected her body and found bloody marks on her wrists – chains? That was sick, and seriously messed up. I also found bruises on her arms and face, and a little bit of cuts here and there, but no serious injuries.

But she was pale, though, which meant she obviously haven't fed for a while. Thank God we had that covered. I was due for a feeding myself. And if I had to heal them all, I'd be in for a lot of blood.

Angeline and Trey already carried half-conscious Eddie away – thank God we had four rooms with seven beds, so I carried a feather-weighing Jill into one of the rooms. She was probably just traumatized, but she was there.

And just like Angeline said, she was safe.

So now I only had to wait for spirit to come back and for the effects of anti-depressants to wear off.

When I came back to the living room, Sydney was talking with Zoe.

"…aware that he is a dhampir?" she asked in her angry voice.

"Are you aware that he's a Moroi?" Zoe countered.

"That's not the same," Sydney snapped. "He helped me unravel Keith's business with vampire blood, so I have every right to call him a friend."

God, she was becoming a better actor with every single second. "Keith," Zoe said with a sigh. "I still can't believe he said those thing, and that he actually wanted to kill me with that knife."

"And you thought I was going to Palm Springs because I wanted glory and fame?" Sydney said bitterly. "It was because he wanted you to go, he wanted to manipulate you, do God knows with you, and when the Alchemists noticed someone was selling vampire blood, he would've framed you and ended up as the best Alchemist ever."

"I thought you did exactly that," Zoe whispered. "Oh, Sydney, I'm so sorry. You were only trying to protect me."

I peeked into the room and saw them hug, and I smiled. Perhaps it wasn't too late for them to be sisters after all.

"They are wonderful, aren't they?" a voice asked from behind me.

Neil was also looking into the room and he was smiling. I nodded. "Yes. The Sage sisters are amazing. Zoe is inexperienced, but she's more like Sydney with every passing day."

Now Neil nodded. "Yes. She is worth of anyone's respect. She was just pulled into this mess at such a young age, so we can't actually expect from her to act responsible and reasonable. She isn't aware of the situation half the time. And she still can't believe that her dad wants to hurt them."

So, Neil was really in love with the girl. I looked so proud only when I talked about Sydney. Dimitri looked that fierce and protective only when he looked at Rose. Christian looked that gentle only when he thought about Lissa. And Trey smiled that way only when he remembered Angeline.

I turned around and narrowed my eyes at him. Perhaps he was a dhampir and stronger than me, but I was a spirit user after all. "Look, Neil, I'm not sure if I have to remind you that Zoe is Sydney's sister and that she's underage, right? And I don't have to remind you that I'm a spirit user?"

Neil scratched the back of his neck, breaking the staring contest by looking down. "I'm… I'm not sure about that yet. She is hypnotizing and confuses me half the time, but she's fifteen, after all. That's why I didn't make a move, or anything."

I nodded, pleased with his answer. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear. When she gets her ID card, you are free to approach her, but until then, you'll have to face the consequences, and believe me, they won't be nice. I'm actually trying out a new ability – putting mental images in people's heads. Would you like to volunteer?" I raised an eyebrow.

Neil looked up at me, his eyes wide. "Of course not… I, I wasn't even thinking about approaching her, but she offered to take care of the wound on my forehead…"

I rolled my eyes. He was such a bad liar, mumbling and eating letters and not being able to form a single sentence. "I'm glad we came to an understanding, Raymonds," I said bitterly.

Neil crossed his arms over his chest. "But why would you care, anyway? Why is Zoe so important to you?"

Oh, poor Neil. Unlike Sydney, he didn't know that lying was an ability I mastered years ago. "I owe Sydney a favor, and she asked me to protect her sister. I don't know if you noticed, but I was doing exactly that back in the park, when Sydney was shot."

Neil looked suspicious. "But you handed her over to me in order to save Sydney," he said. "You didn't have to do that."

I raised an eyebrow. "So your suggestion is that we should've just left her there? Are you crazy or what?"

Neil didn't even blink. "It was dangerous for Zoe there. She could've died. I'm not sure how you dodged all those bullets and the situation in overall is suspicious. Why did Keith start choking when Sydney raised a hand? And how did you manage to fight all those Alchemists off?"

I shrugged. I was becoming uncomfortable. Damn guardians and their observation skills. "Just lucky, I guess," I said and entered the room.

Sydney lit up when she saw me. Probably because she didn't need to worry about Re-education anymore, because her sister was as deep in this as she was and because she could acknowledge my existence without having to hide. Hell, I wanted to kiss you then and there in front of Neil and Zoe and everyone, because she was mine and I was hers and we were together and nobody could do anything to us.

Sydney was obviously a mind-reader because she smiled. "How is Rose?" she asked gently, not using her business-tone.

I smiled back. "I'll go check now, and Zoe can go check if Angeline needs anything. I'm not sure if Trey's the best nurse, and you aren't in any state to help, and I need to wait a couple hours…"

Shit. That was definitely a wrong thing to say. I closed my mouth and started to go away, but Sydney, of course, couldn't leave it alone. "Wait a couple hours for what? Don't you turn your back on me, Adrian Ivashkov! You'd only do that if you didn't want me to know something like, for example, skipping a pill or som-" she stopped suddenly, and I turned around.

"But Sydney, I have to, we have so many injured people here and I'm the only one that can help!" I said, raising my hands in front of me.

Sydney started sitting up, and she pointed a finger at me. "If you stop taking the pills, I'm going to call my father and tell him to shoot me again!" she screamed.

I sighed. "First of all, you need to calm down. You're just going to get that wound opened again, and then we'll have even bigger problem."

Sydney's eyes blazed with fire. "Oh, I thought you were going to take care of it once you got the magic back?"

I sighed again, shaking my head. She was driving me crazy. "So you want to leave Belikov like that, and you want to have Rose raging against me because I decided not to heal him?"

It just made her angrier. "I can handle Rose," Sydney said coldly.

"It's not the point!" I said in a louder tone than I intended, and Sydney's eyes widened.

"Okay," she said, turning away from me. "Do whatever you want. My opinion doesn't matter anyway. Go heal Dimitri, and Rose, and the whole town if you want. But you're not going to heal me, because I don't want you to go crazy."

Good job, Adrian, now you hurt her again because you couldn't control the strength of your voice. I sighed for the millionth time and came closer to where she was laying. I caught Zoe's suspicious glance, but to be honest, I couldn't care for her less. My heart was beating in the rhythm _You hurt Sage, now go make it right_.

"Sydney, I… I'm sorry," I said, gently touching her arm. "I don't care about Rose or what she'll say. Your opinion matters, and if you don't want me to use spirit so that I stay sane, then I won't use it. I'll… I'll go drink another pill."

Sydney turned around, her eyes impossibly beautiful and full of hope. I didn't even realize how close we were – if only I leaned in for an inch, we'd be kissing and everything would be fine.

But my mind was aware of the fact that Zoe was there, watching us, and Neil, too, so I tried to keep my feelings at bay. I tried, I tried hard, but we were looking at each other and Zoe and Neil disappeared, and the whole situation and the Alchemists…

"Thank you," Sydney breathed and turned away. Good job, my self-control girl. Wolfe taught you well.

I, apparently, had problems with self-control, but the moment was over and I swallowed, getting up. "I'm going to… see how Rose and Dimitri are," I said awkwardly.

I needed to get a grip on myself, and what better way there is than seeing bleeding dhampirs and your best friend half-dead?

This was good, but not good enough.


	70. Author's Note

**Author's note:**_ I can't even… I don't know what to say. The pressure is too much. I'm moving into my old apartment on Saturday, inshaAllah, and I had to go pick a couch for myself, and a table for the computer, etc. So I came home 5 minutes ago and it's 11PM now. I can barely see the letters on the keyboard, I read the book the whole night yesterday and while my father was driving me to school (an hour) and the teacher will give me the grade tomorrow and my head hurts and I just want to lay down and sleep. Please, don't be made at me, you know I'll make it up to you, I just want to get Internet and be able to sit on the computer and write. I'll get that in Monday, but until then, I'll try writing on the laptop. It's hard when I get home at 10-11-12PM every single day and I'm not in any state to even be awake now._

_I really am sorry, you know how much this story means to me and how dedicated to it I am. I hope you can all forgive me for not updating tonight._

_And yeah, up in 6:15AM. I'll get sooo much sleep._


	71. Chapter 17, part three: Protect

**Author's note:**_ I bruised the middle finger on my left hand, for those who might want to know :D_

_Okay, so this is a quick one (still no answers to those reviews so when a 10k chapter with a 6k author's note comes out tomorrow, don't be surprised!) I managed to write. Yes, I'm so tired today, but I asked mom to let me not to come to school for the next 2 days and she agreed. I'll have time to write chapters in advance (that came out right yesterday, right?), so that you're secured until I move back home. _

_Expect me tomorrow morning with a fluffy Sydrian chapter and then we're onto chapter 18! And yup, there are 24 chapters so six more! I really hope you enjoyed this journey, I hope we all evolved and deepened our knowledge about the world, Richelle Mead, each other and English in these two and a half months. It was wonderful for me. There are still things that are about to happen and an extra when I finish the last tweet – I'll do an epilogue, as if book 6 is over. I don't want to leave it at that._

_Guys, thank you for your understanding and support, it really means so much to me! I'm so glad people didn't get angry, but I really didn't have time. _

_So see ya tomorrow, buddies! ;D_

_Love you all!_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

So I became doctor Ivashkov and moved around the apartment, telling people how badly they were injured and trying to calculate how long it'd take to get them back to normal.

Rose would survive, though she did lose a lot of blood. I was worried for a second there, but Trey pointed out she was a dhampir, after all, and dhampirs healed fast.

Belikov finally woke up and he immediately went into Rose's room. I again compared them with a tiger and her master – he was the one keeping her from killing us all, he was the one to heal her wounds and she was the one to guard him against anything, everything, anyone and everyone. They were dangerous, and they were perfect for each other. _Soul mates_.

Eddie was in a bad state, but he was a dhampir, too. He had some pretty bad wounds on his abdomen and one wouldn't stop bleeding, but nurse Angeline took care of it. He was unconscious, though, and that worried us all.

Jill was bruised, she was bleeding, she didn't feed for days and thank God, we thought about that. The safe house was full of blood in packages, and though it wasn't as good as blood from veins, it was good enough. I was quite hungry. Jill was probably experiencing the effects.

My Jill, my Jailbait cried on my shoulder, telling me how cruel they were and how the bond saved her from so many bad things. She said she would've gone crazy if it wasn't for the bond. She was also excited for… a lot of things, and she was so happy for Sydney and me.

"That was so romantic!" she kept screaming, making me roll my eyes.

She was also so worried for Eddie and she wanted to be with him, but I wouldn't let her because she was so weak. I understood that they were in love and everything, but honestly, I knew she'd just be more upset if she saw him in that state. I needed her to get some rest – she'd need it. We all would.

And then she fell asleep in my lap, with me humming a lullaby to her. I kissed her forehead, tucked her in and left. I was so happy, knowing everyone was okay.

But then the weight of the whole world fell into my pocket. My legs were feeling as if they were from stone, and every single step towards the living room was harder and harder.

Why? Because I still didn't take the anti-depressants, and I needed Sydney to help me. Feeling magic come back to my body is a feeling I can't really describe – it's as if you suddenly find a part of yourself you forgot existed. It's as if you feel stronger, more like yourself, more aware of everything…

Ah, Sydney would understand. She was a witch, after all.

I was surprised when I didn't find Zoe or Neil in the living room, just Angeline and trey talking with Sydney. They must've slipped into a room – and yes, I was positive it was a single room – while I was with Jill. Did they hear her crying? Did it make Zoe feel more compassionate towards her, even though she was a Moroi? I hoped it did, because if you wanted to feel compassionate towards anyone, it'd be towards Jill.

Angeline and Trey stayed for a couple minutes more, caught in the conversation about the vampire hunters.

"So they're kind of like the Keepers? Keeping tradition from old times?" Angeline asked, her eyes glowing in hope.

Sydney frowned. "Well, not that old, but they definitely look alike. They use ancient symbols, follow ancient tradition, they don't want to change because they think they don't need to, they are barbaric…" Trey was nodding along, until the last phrase.

Trey's eyes widened. "Maybe we should think twice before going to fight your brother, Angeline?" he asked, gulping.

Adrian shook her head. "No way! Perhaps your father can understand our tradition and why we do what we do! Perhaps he'll let us be together!"

_Oh Angeline_, I thought, _you are so naïve. _

Trey touched Angeline's cheek. "Baby, my father would never let us be together. He thinks I'm on a road trip with a buddy. He thinks dhampirs are evil. He is a good man, but he's been living by those rules for far too long. I don't think I could change him; just get him to accept the truth through the years."

Sydney was rolling her eyes at their display. They were too caught up in wrapping their arms around each other to see that, though. "Years?" Angeline whispered.

Trey nodded and they were about to kiss, making Sydney turn her head on the side, but I stopped them. "Get a room, lovebirds!" I said in a playful tone.

Angeline lifted her head to look at me with passion in her eyes, and then she grinned. "Thanks for the advice, I think we're going to do just that," she said and took Trey's hands in hers, pulling him up with her.

Trey shouted, "Have fun, lovebirds!" while Angeline dragged him away to the rooms. They were both laughing.

There was only a room left, after all, so Sydney and I had to stay in the living room anyway.

Not that I minded, but the situation was… crazy. How would I tell her what the problem was, when I knew how she'd react? How would I tell her I wanted the magic back, no matter the cost? How could I tell her that I wanted to feel like I actually could help someone, like I wasn't useless?

And we were supposed to be so close. We were, in every way possible, but new feelings formed inside of my stomach – shyness, embarrassment, fear… all the feelings I didn't usually have. This was so new for me, and I didn't know how to deal with it. As this how falling in love felt like? Because underneath all frustrations, I really believed I was in love with Sydney.

She was on the couch, looking through all the masks I managed to put on until this moment. It was the ability only she had, and it made something inside of me start moving. As I approached her, the ground started moving and my head started spinning and I felt like smiling, weight of the world in that pocket momentarily forgotten.

I put my head in the crook of her neck and just kneeled there, feeling as happy as physically possible. We were okay, everything was okay, and that was it. I was happy.

"I don't know what to do about her," Sydney finally said.

I raised an eyebrow, leaning back to look at her. "Angeline?" I asked, "You know you can't do anything about her, Sage. She's a Keeper, after all."

Sydney rolled her eyes, giggling. "First of all, we have to speak in a lower voice," she said in a near-whisper and I simply nodded. "And no, I wasn't talking about Angeline. I was talking about Zoe."

I started to say, _But what does she have to do with anything?_ but then I remembered how she was sharing a room with a dhampir guardian, so I just said, "Ah."

Sydney sighed. I knew immediately it was better not to tell her about that one detail – Zoe being in room with Neil. I was sure Sydney would get up and strangle them both if she knew.

Thank God, she didn't. "She's not a baby anymore. I have to let her take responsibility of her actions, but I think she's still too young to be able to make them herself. If I let her do how she wants, she'll just hit the wall with her head and hurt herself in the process." She shook her head. "I don't know what to do."

I touched her cheek and she looked up at me. She smiled gently. "Listen, Sage," I started gently. "Zoe is still underage and she technically can't make any decisions, but give her a break, okay? I mean literally. She has too many things on her plate – the divorce, her crazy father, the rapist psycho who wanted to kill her, getting used to being around vampires, trying to get along with everyone and everything, testifying against her own father, finding out about Marcus being her half-brother, though she thinks he's full-blooded, and then falling in love with one of us… I really agree it's much to even comprehend, let alone give it a thought and make any rational decisions."

Sydney nodded. "I know, but what if she makes the wrong decisions and I could've helped her not to? What if he hurts her so bad that I never forgive myself? And what if… what if I can't protect her from them? From Keith? From dad?"

I took a deep breath, pulling her slightly towards me. I was struggling to be gentle, but I had to, thinking about her wound. "You need to realize none of that is your fault," I said fiercely. "You need to realize that you won't be able to protect her from everything, but you have to help her protect herself. You have to show her how to think with her own mind, you have to show her how to be… well, you," I said, smiling a bit because of that last phrase.

Sydney closed her eyes. "But it is my fault," she whispered. "I should've protected her. Zoe wasn't supposed to come here… If I hadn't called Stanton that night-"

I cut her off. She was annoying me with these things. "And if you hadn't decided to find Marcus, and if you hadn't decided to do what Jackie told you to do, and if you hadn't decided to break into that tattoo store, and if you hadn't decided to help me, and if you hadn't decided to fight for coming to Palm Springs… do you understand how many _ifs_ there is? Do you understand that it isn't your fault, but that you were just a part of something bigger, something you couldn't change?"

Sydney leaned closer, until our noses were touching. "I don't know what to say," she whispered honestly.

"Never thought I'd live to hear that," I replied teasingly, and of course, that's when we started kissing.

Kissing Sydney was always relaxing and I simply loved doing it. It took my mind off of things. It took me to a place only Sydney and I belonged to.

But then I pulled back and whispered suddenly, not even comprehending what was going on, "I can't drink the pill, Sage. Not without your help."

Sydney gasped, pulling back, and when I opened my eyes, instead of hurt and betrayal I found _compassion_ in her eyes.

I could do it. With Sydney, I could do anything.


	72. Chapter 17, part four: The Day's Ending

**Author's note:**_ This is going to be a really, really long one, around 60 reviews and I want to answer them all. Yeah, typing hurts, but did that stop me ever before? :D_

_800__th__ reviewer is __**Katrick**__ (she already got a one-shot, though she never told me what it was), sheerio4ever and Rebelde09 (around 800) already got their one-shots, so the lucky reviewer is __**Kylie**__! Write the request in a review or PM me (send me a message). I'll gladly write a one-shot for you :)_

_So, here it comes:_

_1. __**TheHappyLol**__: You're happy because nobody died, right? :) The other review: Nah, it's not the first A/N chapter. There was one, around 20__th__ of July, in which I told people I wouldn't be able to write until I moved back to my apartment. The funny thing is, I updated around 60 times after that Author's note and I still hadn't moved back! The third review: Yup, I laughed so hard when I wrote "doctor Adrian" :D No problem for not being logged in! :) I hope to at least write the most of your one-shot today, but tomorrow is the deadline and you know I always do what I promise :) Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_2. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Don't rip your hair out! Reading these reviews now that the situation is solved is really funny :) The other review: Awww, that was so cute and funny! You can certainly do that with my FanFic, I don't mind, but it just… *squeals* Let me give you a hug, my crazy, awesome, amazing friend! :) The third review: It made me too, the next one will be real fluff! ;D Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_3. __**mroscar**__: Thank you so much for those words! I'm so happy you think the chapter was brilliant! :) Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_4. __**KyKat**__: Well, I'm trying to do the same what happened with Lissa – magic is a part of Adrian and he can't simply cut himself from it. And the solution? Ah, I don't know. The other review: thank you so much for understanding. I took care of everything and I'll write as much as I can now :D Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_5. __**Regina**__: Trey and Zoe kind of simply happened, since Zoe was so upset and then I asked myself, what would Angeline think if she saw that? :D Thank you for liking my one-shots too! It means so much for me. :) The other review: Well, I'm the youngest sister in my house and if my brother knew I (an underage) had a boyfriend that was 19, he'd be desperate to break us up too. It's different when a person is underage, it can be applied and understood as pedophilia, and though we all know it isn't like that with Zoe and Neil, Sydney and Adrian can't help but see things from that perspective. I'm really sorry, but did I miss that request? Please write it in your next review, I'd love to do it! :) Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_6. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Okay, I'm going to skip the review for c68 since I PM-ed you :P The other review: Yup, they're both back and safe and alive! :) Haha, that is so funny. That slap just might happen ;D But I love Adrian too much! And don't worry, Sydney is going to be tough in the next parts of the book. Everyone predicted Alicia, but I think Richelle will wait a bit with her. The third review: Angeline is so cute, right? :D There's going to be talk about that in this chapter, so don't worry! ;D And yup, Adrian without his craziness is just Adrian on pills - incomplete! :D Thank you so much for everything, love you and will answer your PM as soon as I find the USB cable (you don't want to know) :D_

_7. __**sheerio4ever**__: Aww, thanks for the hug! I know you won't believe me, but it made me smile on a very, very awful day :( And I totally forgot Adrian broke his hand! That is so embarrassing. I should make a bonding moment out of that, right? :D The other review: Don't worry, Neil can' be just warned off! But Zoe and Neil will be more careful in the future ;D The third review: thank you so much for caring, my wonderful friend! You know how much I love you. The fourth review: Okay, I have a question. Did you update The Host fanfic? Because I have no idea! :D No problem about not writing long review, I know everything. Just get some sleep :) Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_8. __**happygirl0987**__: Yay! I'm so glad you think so! :) The other review: Short and means so much! :) The third review: thank you so much for understanding me. I got my sleep today, and I'm ready to go. The fourth review: I was half-asleep, but it ended up being okay, right? :D Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_9. __**Gg**__: Thank you, thank you! I'm very glad you think it was awesome. :)_

_10. __**CherrySlushLover**__: Hey, my old friend! I know how it is, being so busy and then on top of it all, being obliged to read a story… But you really shouldn't have, if you were tired :( I'm so glad you're back, is all! I'm so glad you loved it and as soon as I have time, I'll read your updates too! You are an amazing writer. Love you, and hope you find time to review :) Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_11. __**HopperIvashkinator**__: So many reviews, sis! You shouldn't have reviewed so much :( Love you!_

_12. __**bukwurm13**__: You reviewed quite a lot too! :D Thank God you remembered your password! That message I wrote, (two days ago?) was long :D I can't even track down who knows about Sydrian. Jill, Lissa, Christian, Angeline, Trey, Dimitri; Rose, Zoe and Neil don't know, but what about Eddie? And ah, backup guardians are too busy guarding the pregnant queen to do anything else. No, no, I mean I won't have regular Internet for another 3 days (until Monday), but I'll still update on my phone! :) And the teacher will probably just give me a B, I didn't sleep and talked about one thing instead of another, and when I saw her look at me strangely (it was 8 AM, after all), I realized I made a horrible mistake and she told me, "It could've been better." Ahh! My sister is still lazy, don't worry :D Hope the results of cytology test are okay! The other review: My thoughts too! I didn't know whether to make them kiss right there in front of them or not. Guess not, after all :D We'll see about the healing! ;D And yeah, Zeil is so obvious :D The third review: Yes, I'm a leftie, and yes, it hurts, but it's okay! :) They have to solve it somehow, but not if Zoe and Sydney hide things from each other. I need to get them to be sisters for real again. I agree! They could focus on bigger problems other than catching each other with vampires. You'll see about the pill now, but it's about mental support! ;D Trey is horrified because of Angeline's brother and that is just so funny :D Nope, but it'll happen either in this or in the next chapter. Thank you so much for everything and love you! :)_

_13. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Nobody dies in the end! Glad I made you excited, but thank God it all ended well :D The other review: this review calmed me down. That was so true, but I can't help but still feel disappointed in myself because I skipped an update :( The third review: *squeals* :D Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_14. __**spaztronaut**__: *swooning again because you reviewed* Well it's still tough, and the worst is the fact that I have no idea what to do! Adrian will either use or won't use spirit in this chapter, but I don't know yet. :( Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_15. __**Kylie**__: Ooooh, a new reviewer! A warm welcome for you! :) It's not the actual book, just the imagination of a teenager girl :D I'm so glad you decided to share your wonderful opinion with me, you have no idea how much it means to me! :) Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_16. __**Rebelde09**__: I'm rolling my eyes at you – of course I don't mind! Review when you can, some people have lives after all, I can totally understand that! :) It ended up well, right? And oh come on, I don't mind 2 reviews :P And my fans should totally love me now. I made the situation turn out wonderful when it could've been so much worse! :D It annoys me too. Adrian is sacrificing much for her and she knows it's better that way but still… there's no solution, not yet. He shouldn't change, that's my opinion too! :D Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_17. __**Katrick**__: Well I forgot, but they weren't in Palm Springs with them after all! :D Yeah, I cry laughing every time I read it. I can't wait to read your book, really. You rock! :) The other review: I'm even more excited for your book now! :D I really want to read it as soon as possible. I decided not to go to school until Monday too (to be able to write), so I know the feeling! :D Oh come on, the spelling is okay. I could correct along the way if you want me to, it's not a problem. Thank God you're not mad at me! You're better than me! The third review: No problem for the fast review, I appreciate finding time to write anything! :) Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_18. __**rainy**__: Thank you so much for our understanding! I read reviews for c70 before I went to school (7 AM) and they made me smile. You are all so wonderful and understanding! :) Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_19. __**Sam1405**__: I think you didn't review only one or two chapters, so don't worry! That is so beautiful. Zoe wouldn't react nicely, that's for sure, but more they hide things, more the situation complicates! I understand, my life is crazy too and I'm quite impressed with being able to update at all, but I'm doing it somehow. My middle finger is purple, but it'll be okay. It's PE and doing the tapping thing (you put your hand on a platform made of wood and try to tap left and right circles with your other hand as fast as you can), where I did 9,35 seconds and a girl did 9,20 seconds (she was the only faster), and I said – I'll try again. And I ended up at 8,60 :D These headaches, they pass but make me worry :( That is so beautiful, caring about me and I have to admit it is hard! It takes up 2 to 3 hours of every day, but I do it somehow! That's why I had to take 2 days off from school. I couldn't do it anymore. I feel better already, I fell asleep at 10:30PM yesterday and woke up at 8:15 AM, so it's enough! :) I honor you and those words and respect you too! You are amazing. Thank you so much for everything! :)_

_Love you all!_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

"Adrian," she whispered, touching my cheek with her hand. I leaned into the touch, desperately needing help. I needed help in deciding whether to cut myself from a part of me, or to be in danger of going crazy. I couldn't do this anymore; it felt as if my head was going to explode.

"Adrian, I understand," she whispered again, making me open my eyes. Could she really see the feelings in them, could she really understand?

"I know it's hard, deciding to bury a part of you somewhere," she continued. I was looking into her beautiful eyes; I was hypnotized. I couldn't move, breathe, or do anything. I could just listen to what she said. In that moment I realized I'd do whatever she wanted – if she asked me to drink that damn pill, I'd do it. Hell, if she asked me to jump off a cliff, I'd do it without even thinking about it.

"I know you can't do it anymore. I can feel the magic in you, I can feel how beautiful it is. I can feel how it wants to get out of you again, I can feel you wanting to heal everything and everyone," Sydney continued, her face inches from mine.

Her next words made me gasp. "Your magic is the most wonderful thing I ever felt. It's always there, and I can't help but love it. That's why I… I'll let you use the magic, even though I'm already panicking. I don't want you to go crazy," she whispered, closing her eyes, "but I… I can't cut you off from the most beautiful part of you."

"The most beautiful?" I whispered, uncertain if I heard it well.

Sydney opened her eyes, and she smiled. "Yes. It's like I connect to your soul when I feel the magic in you. The darkness is awful, but is it worth it? Is going crazy worth of you being what you really are?"

"But- how-" I tried. Sydney put a finger on my lips, cutting me off.

"I was so worried that I couldn't see how this affected you. Just like with Lissa, it isn't helping you. It's just making everything worse. I'll… I'll transfer the darkness to myself, I'll ask Jill to do it, I'll call Inez and read every single spell book in this world and I'll find a way to help you. But anti-depressants, they aren't helping you. They're just making you feel miserable and useless. And I don't want to stop you from being what you are. You are a spirit user, Adrian, and if you want to heal people, I should let you do it, not get angry at you." Sydney was sounding desperate, she was sounding as if this was very hard for her to say, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

She accepted what I was? She was willing to risk me becoming crazy because she realized anti-depressants weren't helping me? And she thought the magic was a part of my soul?

Damn, we really had a connection. "Sydney, I-" I tried, but I didn't know what to say. I simply leaned in and kissed her, knowing she'd get the message.

_I love you_, I tried to say. _Nobody ever loved me for me, loved my magic because it was mine and not because it was able to help. Nobody ever accepted me because I was Adrian Ivashkov, but because I was the son of Nathan Ivashkov. Nobody ever… loved me, except for aunt Tatiana._

_You remind me so much of her,_ I tried. _She'd love you. She'd understand our relationship and she'd be so happy for me. She didn't like Rose because she knew she didn't really love me, but you… she'd love you. She'd tell me to marry you immediately, while you still wanted to. _

_I miss her so much, Sydney._

"I know," she whispered. "I know it all, Adrian." She was holding the collar of my shirt, pulling me closer, and then I lost it.

I was on top of her, I was kissing her, her hands were on my chest and my hands were on her cheeks and the magic was flowing through me. I was healing her, I was giving her everything I had, and I wanted to show her how much she meant to me. I wanted to tell her how scared I was when Angeline drilled her shoulder with that knife, how scared I was, thinking she was going to die. I wanted to tell it all, and in a moment I realized I already did, but not with words.

_Soul mates_. Did we really look like that to others? Could others see that in us? I was hoping they could. I was hoping our auras shined the same way, because it'd mean I was good enough for her. It'd mean I could make her happy, it'd mean I wouldn't be a useless burden.

"Adrian," Sydney whispered against my lips, probably shocked because of all that magic. "Adrian, you'll use too much."

"I don't care," I answered fiercely. "I want to show you."

Then I looked her in the eyes. We were both breathing hard, and her shoulder was healed with my magic, and everything would be okay.

Everything would be okay.

I was just having a mental fight with myself whether to risk it and do more than just kiss her, when a strong voice spoke. "If you're done with healing Sydney, you could help Rose now," Dimitri said from the doorway. He was smiling, despite the weight of his words. Was he actually happy that we were happy?

I turned my head to look at him. I grinned. "Well, I was planning to heal her for another hour or so, but if you say so, Belikov…"

I started to roll off Sydney, but she took my hands in hers. That was the first time I noticed my left hand hurt. "Your hand first," she said, looking into my eyes.

I rolled my eyes. "You might have to pay tax for that one," I said teasingly, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh, come here," she said and gave me a quick, heated kiss.

I chuckled. "That's my girl," I said and put my hand over hers, in which she was holding my other, broken hand. Magic flowed through my fingers easily, and it went through her hand and into broken bones. My hand was good as new within a few seconds, and Sydney could obviously feel it, because she lifted it and kissed it gently. "There," she whispered.

"I'll be back in a minute," I said, and she nodded, the joke forgotten.

"Please, don't use too much," she said in a near-whisper, concern flashing in her eyes.

I nodded and got up. I knew I'd use too much spirit within the next fifteen minutes while healing Eddie, Rose, Dimitri, Jill and Neil, but she didn't need to know that. The spirit darkness would be back anyway.

Dimitri smiled again when we started walking towards Rose's room. "You changed a lot, Adrian. Now you have someone you care for, and I can see you're doing everything you can to help her."

I chuckled. "Yeah, she needs my professional help with kissing all the time."

Dimitri laughed. I realized I never heard him do that before. "Believe me, I know. Rose needs my help quite a lot too."

I turned to look at him. "How is she, Dimitri? Is she recovering?"

Dimitri's face turned into the guardian mask again. "She lost quite a lot blood and I think the wound's opened again. That's why this couldn't wait. I'm not panicking yet, but if your magic hadn't returned, I would've started worrying for sure."

As if he wasn't worrying already. I imagined how I'd feel if the same happened with Sydney, and I knew I wouldn't be this calm. I nodded. "Well, it's back and I already healed Sydney. Now let me heal you, and then we'll go to fix Rose." I put my hands on his head, intending to heal him, but he shook me off.

"No. Rose first," he firmly said and I just shrugged. I would've done the same, if Sydney was the one dying in the next room.

Rose didn't protest – she was almost unconscious, and I knew we might have to give her a blood infusion, but we'd wait to see if healing her solved the problem. After I healed Rose, I healed Dimitri – despite his protests - his eyes were kind of unfocused and he probably had a bad concussion.

Then I moved onto Eddie; he was still unconscious and it took minutes to do it, because his wounds were pretty bad, but I did it. As soon as Jill was healed, she ran to his room. I didn't mind the fact that nobody, except for Dimitri, thanked me – we were all in a crazy situation, after all.

By the time I opened the door of the fourth room, skipping Angeline and Trey and their fight about going to the Keepers or not, I was totally exhausted.

"Hi, Zoe, hi, Neil," I said cheerfully, not surprised at all by the fact that they were in the bed, kissing. I was surprised, though, by the fact that they were both fully dressed.

"Huh," I continued, approaching them, "So they're taking it slowly, thank God."

Zoe and Neil were both shocked, they sprang apart, Zoe was saying things like "compulsion" and "hallucinating" but I put a finger in front of myself, shushing her.

"Do you have any idea what would've happened now if it was Sydney, not me?" I asked, looking into Zoe's horrified face.

She nodded, and Neil gulped. "She would've had a nervous breakdown because you were with a 19-year-old, and she would've swooned, and we would've had an even bigger problem," I said, feeling my voice rise.

The spirit, or the exhaustion, or just this situation in general, made me not care. "And she would've probably done something very, very bad to both of you. And by the next morning, you both would never even think about doing something like that again."

Neil started looking at me suspiciously, but I focused on Zoe. I threw my hands in the air. "But I'm not Sydney, and I'm just going to tell you to get a grip on yourselves and stop this. And you," I said, turning towards Neil, "could end up in jail for this. She is fifteen years old, for the God's sake."

Zoe spoke up. "Isn't Sydney four years younger than you, too?" she asked in a small voice.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "That's definitely not the same. First of all, she isn't underage, and second, we aren't in the same situation. We're just friends."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, I saw how you look at her. You throw her those passionate looks from Spanish telenovellas all the time when she's not watching," she said, sighing happily.

I rolled my eyes. Zoe was dangerously annoying me, and spirit was there. Not the shadows, but the moodiness. "Yeah, right. Quit dreaming and focus on reality. Your aura is totally pink now, and I'm not surprised by the fact that you fell in love with this boy here. But I'll contemplate not telling Sydney about this because I see pink in his aura too, which means he isn't just too desperate to get you naked in his bed."

"You won't tell her?" Zoe whispered, while Neil just watched me suspiciously.

"No. it'd just upset her, and you two obviously can't keep your hands off each other. But if this happens again before you're 18, I'll be forced to do one of those things I talked with Neil about. Understood?" I asked, a second from snapping at them. God, spirit really found a moment to bother me.

"Yes, sir," Neil said immediately, though he looked very suspicious. Zoe didn't say anything – she fell back on the bed, her arms crossed on her chest.

"Why can't she let me choose for myself? So what if Neil's 19? It's not _that_ scandalous," she said bitterly.

Teenagers. "Listen to me now, young lady," I said harshly, "you probably can't understand the concepts of the universe, but guys just want to get you in their beds. When they're 19 and you're 15, that's considered _being used_. So give me a call when you're 18, and until then, give me and your sister a break."

Zoe looked at me, her eyes fiery, but she looked nothing like Sydney. "First of all, I don't get why you even care, and second, Sydney is 18 and I'm positive she never even thought about doing something like that. Are you telling me that is okay? I don't even believe her when she says she has a boyfriend. It's probably just because she knows we'd all make fun of her otherwise. I don't want to be like her, not in that part of my life."

I raised both eyebrows. I desperately wanted to say things like, _I'm her boyfriend and believe me, she's done a lot of things with me_, but I knew I shouldn't. I knew it'd just complicate things. So I settled on using spirit to make her cry – by being harsh and bitter, of course. That definitely wasn't a problem. "You should be like Sydney," I said coldly. "She has a dignity, and she's not spending her days doing unimportant things. She's not miserable, like you think, and if you stopped being so stupid, you might even see it. But you're so caught up in getting Neil to take your shirt off to think about important things like, for example, how the hell we're going back to Palm Springs when Jared and Keith will be waiting for us. You're an Alchemist, not a regular teenage girl, you can't act like a normal teenage girl, you won't be treated like one, and you should be ashamed of yourself."

So I turned around and left the room, hearing Zoe's sobs. I didn't heal Neil, and I wasn't intending to. I simply didn't care. Nobody saw how important and brilliant Sydney was, but that wasn't the real problem. The real problem was the fact that once I thought she was miserable, too. I thought she was some uptight girl without a life that studied the whole day, that had some mind disease which made her think she wasn't skinny enough, good enough, smart enough. I thought of her as if she was some nerd, while in reality we were miserable, and she was awesome, getting us out of trouble every single time. I didn't have the will to hear her sister think of her that way.

Jill was waiting for me in the hallway, her face stony. She was probably inside of my head – not that I'd know.

She blinked and hugged m immediately. "Adrian," she whispered in my chest. "Adrian, you changed. Don't be bothered by that."

I shook my head, the spirit darkness pulsing deep within me. "I'm so tired, Jill," I said in a low voice. "I'm so tired of fighting against myself, but I have to do it for Sydney."

"Hang on until I… have a talk with Eddie, okay?" she whispered in my ear and I saw her blush. "Just until then. I'll take the darkness then."

"Don't, Jill," I said, shaking my head. "It won't solve anything. Instead of me, you'll be unstable. And plus, you can see people that are really dead."

Jill lied when she said, "Okay," but I didn't argue. We talked for a minute longer and then she was back to her man. Well, at least someone was happy.

And I returned into the living room, feeling depressed, angry, annoyed, scared and lost.

It all changed when I saw Sydney, though. She was healed, so she didn't have to lie down anymore. She was sitting, but as soon as I appeared from the doorway, she looked up at me. Her phone was in her hand and she was probably fixing a flight for all of us or something. Being brilliant, like always.

"Hey," she said, smiling. "Did you take care of everyone?"

I just nodded, throwing myself on the couch beside her. She was immediately next to me, taking my hands in hers, her phone forgotten.

"Are the effects there yet?" she whispered, as if she was afraid to ask me.

I nodded slowly. "My head feels like it's been hit by a train, and I snapped at your sister, and Jill said she'd take the darkness away, and the shadows are in my peripheral vision."

Sydney was close now, warming me with her presence. She sighed. "Is there any way I can help?"

I opened one eye, and I smirked. The darkness wasn't too hard for me now. "You can always help."

Sydney rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "No, seriously. Do you want me to try… some spell or something?"

"Only if you know how to invent spells," I answered, grinning. "Seeing how you speak Latin fluently, it shouldn't be too hard. How do you say, 'I love you' in Latin, anyway?"

Sydney started to say something, but then she stopped, her mouth half-open. I could see the wheels spinning in her head and a crazy idea forming. "Adrian, you're a genius," she said and threw herself at me.

I returned the crazy kiss she gave me and laughed. "I knew that already, but what made you come to that conclusion in this particular moment?" I asked, confused.

"I can make a spell for you," she breathed. "The witches – they can invent spells. Ms. Terwilliger gave me her own book once. I just need to see what exactly I need in order to do a mind-spell. Do I need some plants, or a mirror, or some other object? And how exactly should I form the words of it? It's not as…" she frowned, "as simple as it looked like a minute ago. I don't know. I just hope I'll be able to do it."

Well, the idea couldn't hurt, right? Except if she accidentally turned me into a mouse or something. "Well, the witches must've invented spells at one moment – they couldn't have just woken up with the knowledge. And if Jackie's doing it all the time, why wouldn't you, too? It makes sense."

Sydney nodded, and then we both stopped breathing. Her hands were in my hair and my hands were around her waist. We were both sitting, Sydney's knees and feet were on the couch, and we were looking at each other with hope.

And trust. I trusted Sydney with this – if she decided to turn me into a horse after all, I wouldn't mind. I believed that she was able to do this, and as foolish as I was, I realized I was hoping she'd be able to take the darkness away.

I knew it made her believe in herself, too. It was in her eyes – she was proud of me, proud of herself and our ideas.

Just like I said many times – together, we were invincible. We could beat Jared and Keith and the Alchemists and spirit darkness, too. As long as we were together, everything was possible.

So we ended up on the couch, of course, pressed up tightly with me on top of her, and I told her to be silent.

Her sister was in the other room and she was silent, after all.


	73. Chapter 18, part one: The Trust

**Author's note:**_ Writing in advance, moving in around 3 days (it's Monday now), my hand is better, I beat a headache this morning, and everything is fine because I didn't go to school today! _

_Yeah, when I think of Monday and that exciting homework in Latin, I want to sit down and cry. I mean, translating sentences with some weird verbs? Come on, I'm not Sydney!_

_1.__** TheHappyLol**__: Awww, tell Lily I love her :) Well, you know, Adrian is superstitious after all! :D And aaaah, save those chapters! It happened before, your computer shutting down while you were halfway through a chapter, right? :( Thank you, so glad you liked the Hoppy one-shot! :)_

_2. __**sheerio4ever**__: Oh my, that means I have to catch up! ;D Ah, Adrian is a doctor of all sorts for me, that's for sure! :D And he had to be harsh, right? Zoe is underage, after all, and that's a serious problem. Anyway, that "I hope you get struck by lightning" was so… Irish! :D Love you :)_

_3. __**Regina**__: Well, Zoe needs to stop acting like she only has rights, and no obligations, too. And don't think that way, Adrian is annoyed by the darkness too, anyway :P Yup, your idea is put on the list, so don't worry! Thank you :)_

_4. __**DoughnutsForever**__: You didn't give me a medal for fixing the USB cable! :D Yeah, Adrian and Sydney both have to realize it's not just an affair, Zeil. It's more, it's mini Sydrian! :D Ahh, my friend told me about that video, and since her mom knows Russian, she asked her to translate and her mom was like, "Say what?" :D Yup, you're amazing and I love you! :)_

_5. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: You should've heard my laugh when I read your review. I was thinking, "Hmm, I could do that," and when you said you wanted to beat the hell out of them, I just started laughing! You're awesome and thank you for making me smile! :D_

_6. __**happygirl0987**__: Ah, I'm better though I realize now my story's coming to an end soon. Perhaps another 15 days, and the end. What will I do then? I'll actually have to have a life :O_

_7. __**spaztronaut**__: It was unexpected for me too, but having Sydney change perspective is kind of amazing for me. Seeing her accept Adrian? My dream! :D Thank you for all those compliments. And that tip… don't laugh, but you know how I solve the problem? I sit and talk with my brother for hours, and then I'm ready to think like a man :D But my brother was away these last couple of days, so I couldn't talk to him! :( I don't even know if you noticed, but all Adrian's chapters are 2,3 parts long while Sydney's are 5,6 and it's because writing from her POV is so much easier! :D_

_8. __**Guest**__: Okay, I seriously need to re-read VA and Bloodlines. I had no idea it was like that, I thought it just came naturally. Imagine Jill killing Strigoi! :D Thank you, thank you, sending big hugs for India!_

_I'm sending big hugs to: UK, Ireland, Sweden, USA, South Africa, Australia and Brazil too! _

_Love you all!_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

We were finally home.

The funny thing was, before this mission begun, I had a very different definition of that word. _Home_ would be with mom, Carly, Zoe and sometimes dad. That wasn't my home anymore, because my mom wasn't my mom and Zoe was an Alchemist, and Carly was in college. And dad was the person I now really hated.

_Home_ was that ugly yellow apartment in which Adrian was living. _Home_ was picking Hopper and Lily in my arms – thank God, Ms. Terwilliger fed them both. _Home_ was remembering all the things that happened in that apartment, and smiling when Adrian wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

Yes, I was home.

But this mission wasn't over yet, and we had so many things to settle.

So I tried not to think more than necessary, and we visited Lissa first.

She told us that the mission would last until the child was born. Christian agreed that it should be named Dragomir, not Ozera, since it'd solve many problems and there wouldn't be more need of passing the hereditary laws.

But Jill was still a princess, and she told me not to tell Lissa about Eddie. It seemed that they finally decided to give it a shot.

"… and then I went into his room and we had a talk. He told me he was so scared for me and that he couldn't stay in Palm Springs, not able to do anything. And Sydney, I was so scared! When he went into that room and picked me up, I felt like a real middle-age princess. And then he tried to fight them off, but they were barbaric and it was obvious they wanted to kill us both…"

As happy I was for Jill, it was very strange, uncomfortable and embarrassing to be there, talking with her. After all, she was in Adrian's mind while we…

Yes, it was definitely weird and every time I remembered it, I found myself blushing. Jill didn't notice it since she was too caught up in telling me all about her and Eddie, but in one moment she just smiled.

"It's okay, Sydney, I managed to pull myself out of his mind in time," she said cheerfully. "But I had to check, and when I did, you were sleeping beside him, and I had to scream in excitement! Isn't it wonderful? You two actually did it!"

She made me roll my eyes. "It's not that big a deal," I muttered, and Jill shook her head. She wasn't looking like a girl that was kidnapped and tortured for a week – she looked like a regular teenage girl. Eddie and Adrian were obviously doing a good job in making her forget.

"Not a big deal?" she practically screamed. "Of course it's a big deal! It means you're going to stay together and marry and have children and everything!" She grinned at me, obviously pleased by her version of the future.

"Jill, it's not that simple," I said gently. "I might not be alive tomorrow."

Now Jill rolled her eyes. "Don't be so melodramatic. Your dad is going to get a lesson from Adrian and Eddie and everyone. And they won't take you away."

Jill managed to calm me down, so I decided that was done. Lissa said she was going to go back to Court, since everyone were already getting suspicious. Not that it mattered anymore – the real enemies knew where Jill was and they already tried to kill her once.

But Jill had Eddie now, and he swore to protect her. They really looked like a middle-age couple: Jill, the gentle princess in her light blue dress, touching her prince's shoulder while he kneeled in front of her, swearing to protect her forever. The only thing missing was the sword and the armor.

Eddie and I also had a conversation about everything. Now that he knew about my involvement with Adrian and with magic, things were much, much easier. I didn't know how much influence Jill had on him, but he seemed fine with everything. He just told me to be careful and that he'd always protect me, too.

I was sad that Christian was leaving, and we had a bonding moment. He took me to a coffee shop, made an agreement with Adrian to let me drink more than a single cup that day, and we had fun. He asked me to show him some tricks with fire magic, so we did that, too, and too soon, they were gone.

Saying goodbye to Rose and Dimitri was also hard, since we had a history and I simply got used to seeing them here. Rose apologized for all the fights we had, I apologized for punching her, she said she wanted to meet Jet, I said no, and then we both laughed, rolling our eyes.

Dimitri, on the other side, hugged me and whispered, "Be careful, you two," in my ear. Rose was looking at us suspiciously and I blushed, but I knew I was going to miss him, too.

Lissa was busy, half a dozen of guardians following her everywhere since she was pregnant, but she smiled and said, "I hope I see you at Court one day, Sydney." She winked at me and it was probably connected with Adrian, somehow, but I had no idea how and I was left there, waving at all of them from the doorway of Clarence's house.

They said they'd stop by Adrian's apartment on their way home, and I simply nodded. Zoe didn't dare to come, since they were "vampires and all," and that sentence just made the talk with her more urgent.

I decided to come clean with everything, since Zoe couldn't really report me anymore. We knew the Alchemists would try to take us away soon, and that's why I wanted to tell her everything – about Adrian, and magic, and dad, and Marcus. She deserved that much.

I had a mental talk with myself, preparing for what was going to happen next – Zoe, telling me she was in love with Neil and so. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to have a talk with the both of them.

So I returned to Amberwood, feeling as if I was James Bond put into a Harry Potter movie. I felt as if there was a target on my head and everyone kept staring at me – was it because I was gone for so long, or because I changed? Because both reasons were valid. I was a different person before Jill got kidnapped – a lost Alchemist, afraid of her father finding out about her involvement with forbidden things, not sure whether to testify in his, or mom's favor.

Now I was a powerful witch, a rogue Alchemist who was and wasn't afraid of her father, and my mom wasn't my mom anymore.

I decided to ignore everyone – they were regular teenagers, after all, and I was not – and I entered Zoe's and my room. Zoe was listening music in her bed, she was fully dressed, and there was a huge smile on her face.

I tapped her leg, wanting to get it over with.

Zoe opened her eyes and turned the music off, sitting up. "Hey, Sydney," she said in a small voice, the smile vanishing from her face.

I raised an eyebrow. Was she afraid of me? "We have to talk," I said as seriously as I could.

Then a thought occurred to me – if I had an older sister, and if she wanted to "have a talk" with me right after Malibu, I would've acted the same. It was like seeing myself through a mirror – unsure, afraid, embarrassed.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" I asked slowly.

Zoe gulped again, looking at the floor. "No," she whispered.

I sighed. "Zoe, you shouldn't hide things from me. And you shouldn't be embarrassed."

My sister looked up at me, watching me with her big, brown eyes. "What things?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, we'll start with you, then. You are in love with a dhampir named Neil Raymonds, and you probably would've hidden that information until the end of the world." I couldn't help it – my voice sounded bitter, because my sister hid things from me, and then a thought hit me – she was going to feel the same. I kept things from her, too. Important things.

"So Adrian told you, after all?" Zoe asked in a near-whisper.

I frowned. "Adrian? What does he have to do with this? I figured it out myself." I'd probably have to ask him later, I knew, so I focused on Zoe.

She sighed, sinking on the bed until she was looking at the ceiling. "Okay. Yes, I'm in love with him and he is with me, too. I only realized it when he went there with Rose and Dimitri to fight those vampire hunters."

I nodded. This was what I expected. "Zoe, I don't want to sound like mom, but I need to be sure you're aware of some things, okay? I'm not judgmental or anything. Just answer my questions, and then I'll tell you my opinion."

Zoe nodded. I took a deep breath. "Are you aware that he's half-vampire?" I asked, and she nodded immediately. "Are you aware that he'd 19 years old, while you're 15?" I continued, and she nodded again. "Are you aware that he could maybe just be trying to… use you?" I finished, Carly's image flashing in my mind, on the night Keith did that to her. I wouldn't let that happen to my other sister, too.

"Sydney, you need to understand that I'm not a child anymore," Zoe said, looking up at me. Her face was telling me exactly the opposite – she looked like my little sister Zoe from all those years ago.

"Zoe, you'll always be my little sister," I said in a near-whisper. "Your age doesn't matter – I'll always feel that way."

Zoe closed her eyes, sighing. "But Neil, he doesn't want to… use me. We kissed once."

I raised an eyebrow and he opened one eye. "Okay, more than that, but it's not important. What's important is the fact that you need to finally start trusting me to make my own decisions."

I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back, searching for wall as a support. "Well, that's the problem. I don't like Neil. I don't even know him. His from England, he's mysterious and he has that fake accent. I don't even understand what you see in him."

Zoe giggled. "He's so much more, Sydney," she said, getting a dreamy look. "The way he looks at me, and tells me I'm beautiful, it's amazing." I wanted to laugh, because I was talking about this with my little sister, but in the same time, I knew how important this talk was. She trusted me enough to tell me those things.

Now, the problem was I wasn't sure if I trusted her enough. "And what about Jet?" Zoe said skeptically, as if she could read my thoughts. "I don't understand what you see in him if his favorite language isn't ancient Greek."

I grinned. "Believe me, Zoe, those things aren't important. Trust, loyalty, love and belief are. If you're sure Neil would throw himself in front of a bullet for you, then I completely support your relationship."

Zoe looked at me with a _Come on_ look. "He's a guardian, those things are normal for him," she said.

"And there comes the part I don't get. Aren't you supposed to be afraid or disgusted of vampires? I don't know what happened with you," I said, shaking my head.

At that, Zoe sat up. "Well, you should be the one explaining why you didn't freak out yet. You're supposed to be disgusted by the fact that I'm… not disgusted."

"First answer my question, and then we'll talk about that," I said in a low voice.

Zoe raised her eyebrow, but decided to do what I said. "We grew close through time," she started. "I think we wouldn't have, if it wasn't for the whole divorce thing. And you were acting so… weird, as if I annoyed you. I still don't understand why you kept telling me to go away, now that I know you didn't want to become famous. Because you wanted to protect me from dad? Because you didn't want me messing with the Alchemists' business?"

She shook her head and continued. "Well, anyway, Neil noticed I was kind of depressed and he was the only one that actually made me feel like I belonged somewhere, since I was a complete outsider. So we became friends and I didn't tell you anything because I thought you'd freak out. And when he went with them and I thought he'd never come back, I snapped. I realized I was completely in love with him and… that's it."

I nodded. "Zoe, I… I also have a couple of things to tell you. I'll ask you not to freak out, but you will anyway. Just please, try to understand."

I took a deep breath. "I'm a witch."

And so I told her everything, from Ms. Terwilliger introducing me to the magic world to making Keith choke. I didn't say anything about losing control or Adrian helping me find my powers, of course.

"And that's it?" Zoe asked after I was done.

I wanted to tell her all about Adrian and me and our relationship, but when I tried to open my mouth, I found that I couldn't.

So I simply smiled and shook my head. "And that's why vampires don't disgust me anymore. Not when I'm unnatural too. And then comes the part in which dad uses Marcus to picture mom as incompetent for raising you. In that whole situation, it turns out Marcus is my brother and mom's not… mom."

Zoe sighed. "It's all so complicated," she said. "You really think dad had an affair?"

"Well, it's surely possible, seeing that he was away all the time," I said, trying to be objective. I knew Zoe loved dad more than herself and I didn't want to hurt her or make her angry. Still, I felt like I had to say my next words. "And I do think that mom should get the custody, Zoe. You should have a normal life – I'm already messed up, but you still have a chance. You can still get out of this life."

Zoe looked at me, biting her lower lip. "But it'd mean going away from Neil, and I always wanted to be an Alchemist. You have to understand that, Sydney."

"Zoe…" I tried, and I swallowed. "If you stay an Alchemist, you'll be their puppet. They'll do whatever they want with you, and if you show – in any way – that you like vampires, they'll take you to re-education. And we must fight dad very soon. I need to know whose side you're on."

Zoe didn't hesitate. "Yours, of course," she said. "That… witch thing seems crazy, but you're right about the rest. Dad, he sent Keith and Keith tried to kill me. How could I ever trust them again, when they were ready to…" she trailed off, her eyes shining. She was still under the impression of the events, I knew.

"Come here," I said, sinking to the bed and opening my arms. She sank into my embrace and cried while I rocked her back and forth. She was still my little baby sister, the girl I needed to protect.

And I would. I'd protect her, and I wouldn't let Keith touch her ever again.

I felt lighter when I left her room, but there was still weight on my shoulders. I wanted to tell her about Adrian, I wanted to tell her so badly, but it wasn't the time. Not yet. At least now I knew she was with Neil for sure, so that I knew who to choke to death if she ever ends up crying.

But that wasn't my priority. I had something important – very important I had to handle, and it couldn't wait.

Ms. Terwilliger.

"Are you there yet?" I asked, answering my phone immediately as it started ringing.

"Yeah," Adrian answered.

"I'll be there in a moment," I said, exiting the dorm building as fast as I could.

Adrian was waiting for me in the parking lot, leaning on the hood of the Ivashkinator, his beautiful yellow Mustang. I fell in love as soon as I saw the car for the first time, but now I loved it in a very different way – it contained so many memories, wonderful memories I loved.

I smiled as I approached him. He was just putting his phone in his pocket, and when he glanced up, he smiled, too.

For the millionth time since I met him, I felt butterflies in my stomach because his eyes were so beautiful, so honest, with not a single evil spot in them.

"How'd it go?" he asked, opening the door for me.

"You mind if I drive?" I asked suddenly. "It's been a while since I bonded with my baby."

Adrian rolled his eyes, but gave me the keys anyway.

For the millionth time in my life, I lost myself in the sounds this car was making. My eyes were half-closed and I was thinking about how lucky I was to have such an amazing boyfriend that bought this car to impress me.

Well, his plan surely worked.

"You listening to me, Sage?" I heard Adrian ask.

"Huh?" I asked, turning around to face him, just to see him grinning.

"I was talking with you for the last five minutes, and I was wondering, _Would she even notice before she turned the engine off?_" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, you can't blame me! We haven't bonded for a long, long time," I said, touching the dashboard. "My baby needs attention."

Adrian laughed. "I'm in love with a crazy woman who thinks cars are living beings, and I actually bought the car for her."

"It was a good tactic," I answered honestly. "Every girl would fall in love with some new sports car, but me? I'd fall in love with a car with a wonderful history. The Ivashkinator sure has it."

"I just didn't count on the fact that you'd love the car more than me," Adrian said, smirking, but then the smirk faded from his face. "Your aura is a storm. How did it go with Zoe? And don't dodge it, please."

I sighed. "It went surprisingly good."

"But…" Adrian said, knowing there was a catch.

I turned to look him in the eyes. "I didn't tell her about us."

Adrian raised an eyebrow. "Wasn't the talk all about that?" he asked, confused.

I sighed again. "It was about her and Neil, and their age difference, and why I support their relationship, and it ended with me telling her I was a witch and then we talked about dad, but… I couldn't tell her about us, Adrian. She would've freaked out, and she would've been on dad's side when the time came."

"But when she finds out, it'll just hurt her more!" Adrian said in a loud voice.

I punched the wheel with my hands. "You think I don't know that? You think I decided not to tell her for the fun of it?" I shouted, turning to look at him. "It was a hard decision, Adrian, and it was because I wanted to protect her once more. She's 15, and I'm quite sure she wouldn't be able to understand."

Adrian shook his head. "You treat Zoe like a 2-year-old, and I'm constantly telling you she'd be more understanding than you think. You just need to give her the chance, Sage."

I hit the brakes and the car stopped. I turned my whole body towards Adrian. "Then you tell her, when you're so eager! You think I didn't think about it, but I did! If I told her I was dating a vampire, she'd go running and crying to dad and he'd claim her forever. She'd be lost. This way, I can wait until she's comfortable enough to tell her."

Adrian put his head in her hands. "Start the car," he said in a muffled voice. "Spirit is bothering me today, and I don't want to use the darkness to fight you. Just drop it."

I swallowed, starting the car. "Is it that bad?" I asked in a whisper, too afraid to ask anything else.

Adrian sighed. "It's okay," he said simply. "It's not as bad as it can get, if it helps calm you down."

I nodded. The rest of the car drive passed in silence.


	74. Chapter 18, part two: Being There

**Author's note:**_ Don't laugh, but the moving back is moved until next Sunday. Yes, I'm probably going to finish the story until then, but there's nothing I can do._

_1. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Well, it's not a real fight :D Yeah, I couldn't delay the talk anymore, though it still isn't over. You need a medal for your username, seriously! :D Her mom knows Russian, and she actually made her translate the whole interview! My friend is crazy. We'd all doo what Danilla asked from us, wouldn't we? ;D You're more amazing, love you and thank you for everything! :)_

_2. __**happygirl0987**__: I hope that too, seriously! It'll be so scandalous and will solve so many problems! Love you and thank you :)_

_3. __**sheerio4ever**__: Yeah, I noticed that too, but they have so many problems too, right? Adrian is half-crazy, Sydney is a witch compelled by the Alchemist via her tattoo, she has a messed up family and a father that hates her, she doesn't know who her mother is, she suddenly finds out Marcus is her brother, she's in love with a vampire… And Adrian? He also has a messed up family with his egoistic father and mom in jail, not being respected by anyone and then suddenly falling in love with a nerdy human? A 15-year-old is bonded to him, he has a problem with alcohol, his only skill is painting, and so on… But back to your review! :D Yup, Latin is a dead language but future doctors obviously have to know it! :( And I'd swap, but only if Irish is similar to English :D I'm laughing again because I knew that's how you'd react! But stereotypes make me imagine you like Zeus, holding a lightning and striking people with it :D Yup, USA has tornados, but our countries don't, so high five me! :) And ah, love you too, in Irish :D_

_4. __**Sam1405**__: Oh Sam, I wish it was just "too personal," but my dad keeps telling me we're still not moving back. The electricity and LED in the kitchen aren't set up yet, the walls need to be painted white for the second time, the furniture's coming on Sunday, the closets are coming some time during the next week, this isn't finished yet or that… Now the review :) I was thinking about that too, since dhampirs are worse than vampires by Alchemist standards. But since Sydney doesn't think dhampirs are "unnatural" and so, being with a dhampir is less awful than being with a real vampire? Yet it's both scandalous :D Ah, next week of school will be a real hell because I won't be able to just give up and not go, and I'm already behind everyone else, so good luck to me! And yup, I go to my brother, we talk for a while and then I'm ready to try and think like a guy for a while! That's my best try at Adrian's thoughts, my brother is kind of like him, though he got his law degree :) Thank you, and love you! I'm really glad you're enjoying the chapters :)_

_5. __**Guest**__: That stuff bothers me too, and I simply hope that confusing things are gone after around 65 chapters. I'm kind of embarrassed by the start now :D I'm glad you didn't see any more problems, though, and I hope the story is readable! Thank you for the review :)_

_6. __**Guest**__: We're all going to laugh so much when we get TFH! :D Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, love this review! :)_

_7. __**NiomiMichelles**__: Okay, so my thoughts are this: After TFH comes out, I'll wait for the tweets for Silver Shadows to come out and then I'll do the same thing. I'll probably make up something until then, because I simply can't stop writing :D No problem for not logging in, I'm really glad you decided to review! :)_

_8. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Oh, imagine Adrian's picture. On his ID card or passport. I'd steal his wallet and die while watching his photos! And yeah, Zoe will be mad :D Thank you, my friend! _

_9. __**HopperIvashkinator**__: My sister, you're amazing. The second review was so funny and amazing! I was, like scrolling down the reviews and suddenly I see "č" and I'm like, "Oh my God, someone from my country reviewed!" But then it's my sister, and she hates Jill! And I love her :D And awwwwwwwwwwww, that was so cute! I love reading your reviews, sister, and do you see how far this story managed to go? It's all because of you, directly and indirectly! You are one of the best, most caring and most wonderful persons I've ever met, and I'm so sad because I can't really be your friend! But one day, sis, one day. I'm going to meet you one day :D Love you, and thank you for every single word – Bosnian, Swedish, Arabian or English – you've ever written for me! :)_

_10. __** 5**__: Hell yeah, a new reviewer! New reviewers make me excited :D Thank you so much *bows* I'm honored to be complimented by a great person like yourself. And I was just so focused on Abe, the first thoughts I had after reading those tweets for the first time were, "Abe is back! Abe is back! And something awful is going to happen to Adrian! Oh no!" Thank you again, and don't be afraid to share your thoughts with me in the future chapters! :)_

_And yeah, sorry, but Latin frustrates me and since I'll be answering conjugations on Monday, I must attack someone. You, in this case, with Latin verbs! :D_

_Love you all!_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

"Okay, since I speak Latin fluently, this should be easy," I said, nodding to myself.

Adrian chuckled. "I'm so lucky. Who has a girlfriend that speaks Latin, Japanese, ancient Greek and God knows how many other languages?"

I rolled my eyes. "Ancient Greek was a… passion, but I had to learn Latin. All Alchemists know it. It's nothing special."

Ms. Terwilliger joined Adrian's chuckles. "If it makes it easier for you, Melbourne, almost every witch speaks Latin too, so you're not the only one."

Adrian looked mortified. "So the sentence _Latin is a dead language _is not true?" He gasped dramatically. "Teachers lied to me my whole life."

I laughed then, even though there was a pencil in my hand and I was writing what was supposed to be a complex spell. Thanks to Adrian, I managed to write only a single sentence.

"Okay. So I have to be creative and find words that rhyme and make sense. It shouldn't be that hard." But what word rhymed with _firmo_ (strengthen)?

I decided to put _sumo_ (count), though I had no idea how to put it in a reasonable sentence. Ms. Terwilliger would help me, but she told me making and inventing spells I needed to do alone – otherwise, it wouldn't work. When I asked her why she didn't simply write and use the spell herself, she just grinned at me, telling me it'd be a good practice.

Hmm. What rhymed with _memor_ (mind)? _Peior_ (worse)?

"I can't do this," I said, turning around to face Ms. T. and Adrian. They were drinking tea, or at least it looked like that, while I was sweating and trying to help him. What a support.

Ms. Terwilliger raised an eyebrow. "I thought you spoke Latin fluently," she said in a teasing tone.

"But I'm not a poet! I don't know how to rhyme things! Come on, tell me how to rhyme _sano_ (heal)?" I put my hands in my lap, sighing heavily.

"_Paro_ (get)," Ms. Terwilliger said, as if it was very easy. "Obviously."

I started to get up. "Then why don't you sit here, write the spell and use it, saving me some serious trouble?"

Adrian put his cup of tea on the table, looking up at me and reminding me with his eyes why I was doing this. "You can do this, Sage," he said intently. "I believe in you. Jackie does, too. You just need time."

I sighed, shaking my head. The things I did for love…

So, an hour and a dictionary later, the spell was ready.

I held the paper up for both of them to see. "Okay, so this is done. Now what?"

Ms. Terwilliger got up. "Since the spell will be used on Adrian's mind, soul and spirit, we'll need the plants that can focus the spell on those parts of him. Now, Melbourne, tell me, what symbolizes the mind, the spirit and the soul?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "An eagle, for clear mind," I said, closing my eyes and trying to remember. "A raven, for the change of spirit. A white butterfly, for the soul. A banyan, to keep the soul safe. And Sirius, the morning star, to light the soul's way." Everything Ms. Terwilliger taught me such a long time ago came back to me. It was before I accepted the fact that I was a witch, when I thought she just wanted me to learn ancient symbolism.

Ms. Terwilliger grinned. "You forgot the moon," she said calmly. "You can do the spell only when the moon is full."

I hit my forehead with my palm. "Oh my God, but that won't happen for another week! And you knew it since the beginning! Why didn't you tell us immediately, so that we wait until the weekend to write this?"

Ms. Terwilliger shrugged. "You never asked," she said, wearing a perfectly innocent expression. "And besides, it's better to be prepared than to be late."

I sighed. "Okay. I guess we can wait a week. Can we, Adrian?"

"Do we have a choice?" he said, shrugging. "And there's that witch Inez, too. She might know something."

Ms. Terwilliger nodded. "Inez is a bit crazy, but if anyone knows a spell that can help you, it's her."

Adrian and I parted with me disappointed and him experiencing spirit darkness. We were still kind of mad at each other because we were on the opposite sides of the specter, but I wasn't angry at him. I was angry at myself for being a coward and not telling Zoe.

He didn't even kiss me like he usually did. It was a quick kiss with a murmured, "See you on Thursday," and then he was gone and I was alone on the parking lot.

I sighed and left the parking lot, just to find Trey pacing in front of the dorm building. He was looking very upset.

"Trey," I said, approaching him, "what's wrong?"

"It's… it's my dad. He said he's coming back from 'a road trip' in two days and that 'we'll have a talk.' Someone probably recognized me when we fought the Alchemists, and he's going to… I don't know what he's going to do." He raked a hand through his hair, obviously very nervous.

"And you're waiting for Angeline to do… what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Can you stop for a second and calm down?"

Trey stopped, shaking his head. "Of course not! He's going to disown me and throw me to the tigers! I already failed him once and now I failed him for the second time? What if he knows I'm in a relationship with Angeline? He'll… he'll kill me! And then he'll kill himself!"

I put my hands on his shoulders, trying and failing not to laugh. "Okay, the same will happen with me, and I'm not pacing around freaking out."

Trey took a deep breath, just to start talking hysterically once again. "But it's not the same! Your dad isn't a Warrior! He wouldn't kill you if he knew you were in a relationship with one of them!" His tone was an intense whisper, because he knew people could hear us. Thank God, at least he wasn't _that_ hysterical to start shouting about vampire hunters and dhampirs around the school.

"Trey, stop, let me think," I said, making him stop with his crazy monologue.

"So, if your father's coming back, that means the Warriors are making a new plan," I stated the obvious and Trey nodded. "And that means my father is going to attempt a kidnapping again, or something even worse." The word _murder_ lingered in my mind until I pushed it away.

"So, the logical thing is to get you away from here, since you obviously can't be our insider anymore," I said, stating the obvious again. "And my suggestion is taking you to the Keepers for a while, until the situation settles down."

Trey raised an eyebrow. "Don't you need Angeline? And what makes you think I'd agree to that?"

I grinned. "You will, when she hears my plan – wasn't that her biggest wish since forever? And I won't send her with you – I need someone to take care of Jill when Eddie can't. I'll send Neil with you."

Trey frowned. "No. I'll go with Angeline, or I won't go."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "And face your father's wrath? You'd rather be thrown to the tigers?"

Trey sighed. "I… I don't know. I need to think about it for a while."

I nodded. "Okay. I'm going to my room; go get some sleep, and I'll see you tomorrow."

Trey just nodded and I left, passing by Angeline. She was looking very upset. I simply winked at her and she furrowed her eyebrows. Well, she'd understand what I meant soon enough.

So the day passed, and I fell asleep, restless. How was Adrian dealing with the darkness? What was my father planning? Where was Marcus? What would Trey do? And what would we all do when the Alchemists came? I couldn't fight them all off with magic, that was for sure.

The next morning, Ms. Terwilliger came to my desk and put something on it.

Something black.

Two black rings with a white stone in the center in the shape of a butterfly. I carefully examined the smooth surface, while Ms. T. looked at me, proud of her work. "I mixed a raven's and an eagle's feather, a banyan and put the rings in all of it. Remember, you can do it in a week, and only at the dawn, because that's when Sirius is the most powerful. You could do the spell at midnight, too, but I'm not sure if it'd work."

I nodded, putting both rings on my index finger. That way I wouldn't forget them. "Thank you, Ms. Terwilliger," I said honestly. She just winked at me.

Just as I walked into the cafeteria, thinking this'd be a normal day – finally, a normal day! – I heard noises.

"Eddie, just let it go," I heard Jill say in a panicked voice.

"Not until he apologizes!" Eddie said in an angry voice. It was the angriest I ever heard him sound, and I immediately started running towards them.

"No way," a sharp voice said, and then it all turned into a fight.

From a distance, I saw Eddie hit the guy – he was very tall and blonde – and then the guy hit him back, though Eddie managed to block the punch. The guy had no idea that he was dealing with a trained guardian with superhuman strength, so the only thing I could do was try to stop the fight before Eddie got expelled.

"Eddie!" I shouted, just as I saw Jill stand between the two of them. I recognized the man that pulled at Eddie's arm, trying to push him away – it was Micah.

Eddie turned around, saying, "Let me go, Micah," so he didn't see the guy strike back-

And hit Jill, who just came to stand in front of Eddie. He hit her straight in the head and she let out a cry of pain and sank to the floor.

Eddie turned around just as I came to stop the fight. Many people stopped to watch, and Eddie was curling his hands in fists.

Oh boy, this wasn't going to end up well. Eddie didn't even notice I was there until I touched his wrist. "Eddie, don't, you'll get expelled and we'll just have a bigger problem," I whispered, knowing he could hear me.

Eddie stopped and closed his eyes. He was breathing hard. "Jill," I whispered. That seemed to help Eddie make his decision – he opened his eyes and we both sank to the floor to see what happened with her.

Eddie picked her Jill and without glancing back, he turned away and left. Micah followed us both out of the cafeteria. "Eddie, you didn't have to do that, but thanks," Micah said when we were in the hallway, breaking the silence.

"It's okay," Eddie said in a cold voice. His hands were in Jill's hair, and Micah probably thought it was a brotherly gesture, but I knew it wasn't, and I was glad that he was finally showing his feelings for her. It was good for both of them.

"It's all my fault," Micah continued, sounding miserable. "It wasn't that big a deal. You could've been expelled. And that jerk punched Jill."

I turned towards Micah. "Micah, don't worry. Everything's okay. Go to your room – we'll handle Jill." I smiled reassuringly, and he nodded.

"Tell her I'm sorry when she wakes up," he said, looking embarrassed. They were dating a while ago, after all. I nodded, and then Micah was gone.

"Why did you fight the guy?" I asked Eddie after we carried Jill to the ambulance and the nurse ushered us out until she examined her.

Eddie sighed. "The guy was bothering him, asking him to give him his homework. I- I couldn't watch that."

I raised an eyebrow. "But you didn't need to punch him because of that, Eddie," I said softly. "Did he do something else?"

Eddie stopped pacing the hallway to look at me. "Micah- he-" he tried and stopped, taking a deep breath. "He reminds me of Mason, and I can't stand to see him harassed by some jerk."

I touched his arm gently. I didn't know Mason personally, but I knew the story of him and the way Eddie felt about his death. "I know, Eddie. It wasn't your fault," I said, hoping it'd reassure him.

Eddie swallowed and turned away, but I saw that his eyes were shining. "It was my fault, and I can't ever make it right, because Mason is gone. So I… I…"

"You try to redeem yourself by helping the guy that reminds you of him," I finished for him. Eddie didn't say anything – he just stood there, his head turned away from me. I knew that he was crying, that he was embarrassed and that I should've let him cry alone, but I also knew he was feeling guilty for something that wasn't his fault, and I needed to reassure my brother. He would've done the same.

"Eddie," I whispered, knowing this was a very sensitive subject, "Mason would've done the same thing with, or without you. I didn't know him, but I know he doesn't blame you, where ever he is."

Eddie swallowed again. "I keep asking myself if he blames me," he whispered, but I could still feel the tears in his voice. "For taking his life from him. For not stopping him, when I should've."

"You supported him, like a real friend would," I tried. "He made a choice and he paid the price for it. You didn't kill him – a Strigoi did. Rose, Christian, Mia… they're all as guilty as you are, if we think by your logic."

Eddie shook his head. "No. I should've tied him to a bed, making him see reason. I should've done something, something a real friend would've done. I should've…" he stopped, and it sounded as he stopped himself from sobbing. "I should've died, not him."

I took his hands in mine, forcing him to turn around. Eddie was crying, like I feared, and hugging and comforting him was weird, since he was so much taller than me, but he somehow buried his head in my neck and cried silently.

"It's okay, Eddie," I said, running my hands through his hair, trying to soothe him. "It wasn't your fault. Mason forgave you. He knows. It's okay."

Eddie cried for a minute more, letting out only a single sob that'd haunt me for the rest of my life – it was a sob of a man in pain, a man in so much pain that he couldn't hold it in him anymore. Then he dried his tears and smiled. "Thank you, Sydney," he said in a rough voice. "I'm- I'm sorry you had to see that."

I smiled back. "That's what sisters are for, right?" I said and hugged him again.

Eddie sighed. "Now let's go see if Jill is okay."

It turned out that Jill was okay, but the fact that she couldn't see Eddie's reddish eyes meant she wasn't completely fine. Her left eye was closed and purple, and she blushed when she saw Eddie come in.

"You shouldn't see me like this, I look awful," she whispered so silently that the nurse couldn't hear and that I barely heard them, even though I was only a small distance away.

Vampires and their superhuman hearing.

I didn't blame them – they were supposed to be a brother and a sister, after all, and if they started kissing in front of the school nurse, they'd be sent to a psychiatric clinic. That'd cause some serious problems, so they had to whisper and steal passionate glances and smiles, hoping they were understood as brotherly-sisterly affection.

Well, it wasn't easy for them. But it wasn't easy for the rest of us, neither.

The next night I came to a conclusion that turned into a plan.

When my father arrived with his entourage of Alchemists and accusations of being too close to vampires, we'd confront him.

With what? First, we'd deny everything but they'd probably show evidences – pictures, videos, audios, whatever they could find. Jared would come prepared, I knew.

Then he'd try to take Zoe and me away, and I'd fight him off with magic.

I had to learn some seriously advanced spells that could mess with people's minds. I was dangerously close to crossing a line between evil and good magic, I knew, but I had to do this to be able to stop Jared from taking our lives from us.

Guess I needed to practice with Adrian on how to compel people, and on how to throw things at them without feeling guilty afterwards.


	75. Chapter 19, part one: A Bad Day

**Author's note:**_ Okay, so I forgot about that excerpt for a while and I tried to infiltrate it into this chapter, hope it makes sense? The real excerpt was supposed to be somewhere before Washington, before Adrian started taking pills, so I'll erase that part not to confuse you, but the rest is okay, right? :D_

_And mom agreed to let me stay home tomorrow too! I'll be seriously late in every single assignment, but I'll write at least 4 chapters tomorrow (hopefully) so that you're all covered until the weekend. _

_Anyone excited for TFH trailers? To be honest, I'm excited because of Nic – he is so hot! And born in December, like half of FanFiction, me included :)_

_1.__** Alicella Ivashkov**__: Ah, that'd be hilarious :D Thank you for the review! :)_

_2. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Don't cry, but you're free to laugh! When I see Richelle's excerpt and try to actually put it in my story, I keep laughing because my writing is so pathetic compared to hers. Okay. Thank you for every review! :)_

_3. __**happygirl0987**__: I did too! I mean, getting punched out of nowhere? Ouch. That hurts. :D Thank you! :)_

_4. __**IvashkovMehLuv**__: Yay, a new reviewer! Glad you decided to share your opinion with me :D Yup, you're probably psychic! ;D I also know the feel, when you get attached to something (though it's still hard to believe sometimes that people actually love what I write), and that's awesome! Thank you :)_

_5. __** .5**__: Well, I felt like I was disappointing you but my whole body was really shutting down, I didn't have time for anything… I think I'm just going to take a month-long rest when I finish TFH, it just took so much out of me! Honestly, I can't wait to write that fight and reveal so many facts to you. I'm really excited. Yup, Mason always makes us cry (I still didn't forgive Richelle!), and Eddie is just so cute, right? :D Thank you, thank you! :)_

_6. __**sheerio4ever**__: In our country, al doctors have to speak Latin terms for diseases and similar. The funny thing is, I always kept saying, "Why do we all have to learn Latin when only doctors use it?!" And then after two years, I'm among those people! Who would've known… Oh my God, French, I would've had an F, that's for sure! :D But I'd endure German, Spanish and Arabic! ;D Hmm, seems like Adrian is psychic too! And yeah, Adrian likes tea while his girlfriend is rhyming Latin words :D Love you/le gra/volim te too! We're mixing languages here :)_

_7. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Oh, no problem! You know late responses aren't a problem. And ah, Mason. VA was actually the first YA book series I read, and you know, I didn't expect to get emotional or anything. Mason died, and I didn't cry. But when Rose said goodbye, I just started crying (it was 3AM) and I didn't stop crying for hours. Ah, there will be more, and an epilogue (because I don't want to leave this story at the end of TFH), but around 15 days. And then another month until TFH – it's not fair! :( Ah, the move is moved back because the kitchen isn't over, guys that need to paint the walls white will come tomorrow, the closets aren't done yet and they'll be there until Sunday, so many things. But I'm still excited, though I delayed the excitement! :D Love you, and please don't thank me! I really enjoy doing this :)_

_8. __**Regina**__: This is a very good review! I don't know why people don't have a problem with Jill-Eddie age difference – I never even thought about it, except maybe initially, there was that one chapter in which Eddie talked with Adrian? Or so I remember. But anyway, I probably can't speak universally because I don't know the tradition or so, but here, if a girl is underage and the guy isn't, he goes to jail, because she isn't capable of making her own decisions and so. It's also kind of taboo-ish here, and it's not something that we see a lot, so I definitely have a problem with it too. But okay, let's be honest, I ship bot Jeddie and Zeil, the age difference isn't something I care about! :D Love you too! :)_

_9. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: The tweet is "A plan," and I write that (two paragraphs). And then I'm sitting there laughing, thinking how my inspiration is obviously dying :D Thank you! :)_

_10. __**Jess**__: I definitely can't wait until you read everything (if you do), to hear your opinion! :) Thank you so much for those words, really, they make me proud of myself! I wasn't really that good in that moment, but still! You made me blush! Thank you for deciding to review :)_

_11. __**Katrick**__: Adrian would be the most handsome green-eyed horse ever! :D "I love you" in Latin is similar to Spanish: Te amo. And oh, Sydney's still keeping the most important thing from Zoe, unfortunately :( I laughed so hard at "after he got the crap beat out of him badly" :D Is that your real description? :) Awwwwww! I liked it, spelling mistakes exist (obviously, I make them even in my native language, and not to even start talking about this story – I need to do a revision of everything when I move back), but I like the plot! Really, I never read much about goblins and now you have me interested! Keep doing what you do, I can tell you from experience – you'll only get better. Mason is the guy from VA, the one who died when Rose fought the Strigoi? The one she skied with? The cute red-haired-guy? The one and only Mason, the guy we cried for? Hope you remember him! :P Yup, you rock too, love you! :)_

_12. __**rainy**__: No more dying, I'm sick of it! :D I know, I wanted to write more, so much more, but then I stopped myself because that'd result in so many problems and Eddie would end up expelled :( Anyway, today's chapter has a very short fight in it too, this one is because… I don't know, I expected it to last longer, so I'm sorry for that too! :( of course, Sydney will confide in Zoe, but when? And will it be too late, resulting in devastating consequences? :D Ah, believe me, Latin is just sitting and learning the following things: "-a, -ae, -ae, -is, -aris" and so. Just a bunch of conjugating and declining words. And ah, I already know 4 languages so Latin isn't really my favorite! :( Of course, these are my subjects this year: my native language, English, Arabic, Latin, Math, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Religious Studies, PE, Democracy, Sociology, Psychology. Instead of Physic, Chemistry, Biology, I could've chosen either Math, Physics and CS; Geography, History, Sociology; native language, English, German, Arabic, Latin. Last year we had all those subjects minus Sociology, Democracy and Psychology, next year we'll have Philosophy instead of Sociology, no Democracy and Psychology, and we'll have an additional Religious Studies class. The only thing that changed from elementary school is that I had subjects called: "Culture of living," "Technical classes" and German language. I know, the system is crazy, but we have to do these things! :( And I know, this year I'll be mixing things in a laboratory and I simply know I'm going to make something explode! :D Thank you! :)_

_13. __**Lilietje99**__: Why do people keep misunderstanding me? :D I said "I won't move back for another 7 days and I won't have Internet" but I still have mobile connection, like until now! :) And oh God, don't kill me but I actually got scared when 1D suddenly started playing on my TV, I was like, "What is this?" and in a few days, boom! Everyone love 1D (and mostly 7-year-old girls, so that's really annoying). Other than that, I have nothing against 1D, but I'm not an active listener! :D Yeah, be happy while you can, until everything explodes in this story. There's still a whole plot going on, though I don't know when to start moving things forward. Thank you, my devoted friend! :) _

_If there's something wrong with this chapter, it's because it's 11:30PM currently and I'm very tired._

_Love you all!_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters and the excerpt, of course._

Getting up.

Keeping myself alive.

Crawling back to bed and trying to fall asleep.

It was my only goal for the next few days, and somehow, I couldn't achieve it. Everything would be okay for a week, then Sydney would do some hocus-pocus magic and we'd be free from another problem.

Well, it wasn't that easy.

But was it ever?

First of all, I still had classes in Carlton and I was desperate to paint something. Spirit was making me moody these days, and I wanted to ease my frustrations and pour everything out on a canvas.

Thank God, Sydney gave me a paper in which I apparently had some religious meeting with my family and that was good enough for the whole college to not look at me as if I quit.

I was also hallucinating, and I didn't like it. Things would blur together, my whole body would hurt because I wanted a bottle of whiskey, I'd feel as if I was somewhere else, I'd tune in and out randomly.

But when Sydney sent me a text, asking me if everything was all right, of course I said it was. I wanted to be strong for her, for myself and for everything we planned to achieve. That was salvation.

Still, healing Jill, Eddie, Rose and Dimitri took a lot out of me and spirit was swirling out of control.

Rowena hitting me in the arm proved as much. "... you today, dreamer?" she asked in her pleasant voice.

I turned towards her, grinning. "You can't make a man in love focus on the ordinary life," I said, hoping she wouldn't notice something wasn't right.

Thank God, she didn't. She rolled her eyes. "I'm still trying to figure out whether you want to marry that girlfriend of yours or you've just never been in love before."

Rowena was always good in making me forget about my problems. Today wasn't an exception. "I'm not sure myself, Rowena," I said.

The rest of the classes passed in being focused on now and here, with Rowena helping me and my paintings keeping me calm.

Rowena and I were headed to a café, like every single Tuesday after classes, but then I noticed a dull, grey aura approaching us.

I was confused, since I never saw such an emotionless aura – the name _Alicia_ showed up in my mind, and how I said humans had weird auras, a long time ago.

Well, that was suspicious enough for me. I took Rowena by the arm. "Let's take a shortcut," I said warily. Whoever was approaching us wasn't one of the good guys, that was for sure.

"But, what's wrong?" Rowena whispered. I shook my head and we headed left, even though I was still looking at that aura.

"I have a bad feeling," I said, but then a smirking face showed up from the edge of the park.

An emotionless, grey aura… a bad feeling… something I never saw before… humans had weird auras…

Keith Darnell. That jerk. _Again_. Did he have a life, or was his only purpose on this Earth haunting us and trying to make our nightmares more exotic? And did he ever give up?

Keith was a crazy, evil man before, but now he was a completely different person. I didn't get the impression he was ready to kill us all when he first arrived to Palm Springs. They did something to him in Re-education. That meant I'd never, ever let them take Sydney away and ruin her forever. My Sydney wasn't going to lose the purple from her aura, the glint from her eyes, and the fire from her heart. I was going to make sure of that.

I stopped, shielding Rowena with my body. "No matter what happens, stay behind me," I said calmly.

Damn it. I didn't need to deal with him now, not with Rowena here. This was very dangerous, and not just in a life-or-death sense.

Keith was in the same white shirt and black trousers from Washington – his clothes were, apparently, as emotionless as he was – and he kept his hands in his pockets. His eyes – or rather, eye – were as empty as I remembered them from Washington, and though I had no idea what he wanted from me, I knew he wanted something.

Something I couldn't, and wouldn't give to him.

"Are you in trouble?" I heard Rowena ask from behind me, and she was trying to move underneath me and try to get herself to stand beside me. She didn't sound afraid, and it made me smile. Almost everyone would already be crying, but Rowena didn't even want to be protected by me.

What made the smile from my face disappear was the fact that she was probably going to find out I was a vampire in a minute, and that I had no idea what to do about that.

I also realized that we all had, and kept our secrets, and that I kept one hell of a secret. If Rowena found out, it wouldn't be pleasant.

"What do you want, Keith?" I shouted. I noticed that there was nobody in the area except for us. Good. That meant I wouldn't have to restrain myself from trying to kill him. He was really starting to annoy me.

Keith started laughing. "Oh, you know what I want," he said, looking at me with that crazy eye. "I want to hear you scream."

I raised an eyebrow. "So this one is for your personal satisfaction, huh? Jared didn't send you?"

Keith grinned. "Nah. I told you-you'd pay for what you said. We weren't done in Washington, because that bitch did something to me. I swear, a thought crossed my mind that she's a witch of something." He laughed again – hysterically, this time.

I grinned, too. "That choking episode did good to your tan," I said calmly. "You're better when your skin is whiter – you're more like a zombie from the outside, too."

Keith's grin disappeared. "Now you really pissed me off," he growled.

I pushed Rowena back, balling my hands into fists. "Come on. No knives; fight me like a man."

Keith dug a knife from his pocket and threw it to the ground. "You bet," he said, and threw a punch at me.

I barely avoided it, hearing Rowena's "Look out!"

"Just like I thought," I said with a laugh as I ducked to avoid another punch, "Your fighting skills are equal to your intelligence."

That made Keith growl again and he threw himself at me, like a mad bull. I simply moved aside, expecting him to fall on the ground and cry out in pain…

But the cry was a woman's.

Rowena.

"Get off me, you jerk!" Rowena screamed and punched Keith in the face. As I turned around, I saw her underneath him on the ground.

Keith fell back from her, holding his face with his hands. "You bitch!" he screamed back.

Before I even had the chance to do anything, he was back on her, pinning her to the ground. He held her wrists with one of his hands, and Rowena's face turned into a mask of pain.

I was on Keith within a second, my arm underneath his chin. It was ironic, being choked again.

Perhaps I'd succeed this time.

Rowena kicked him in the face again, and moved underneath Keith. He wasn't light for me to move him from her, but I managed to do it somehow and soon Rowena was free.

I noticed she was holding her hand, looking at it sadly. "And there goes my career," she said in a low voice.

I sighed and removed my arm from Keith's throat. Once again, he fell to the ground – this time, a black mark would stay to remind him not to mess with us ever again. His nose was bleeding and he was unconscious. I figured that the best thing to do was to leave him there, since I didn't want to kill him.

"Let's go," I said roughly and Rowena nodded.

She didn't say a single word until I closed the door of my apartment. She wasn't as calm as she wanted me to be, obviously; her aura was like a nuclear explosion.

"Well, that went well," I started, anxious to hear her thoughts.

"Okay, I suppose you should tell me who the hell that guy was, and why he wanted to kill you," she said, looking me straight in the eyes.

"Sit down?" I offered, sitting down on the couch myself. Rowena shook her head and started pacing the room.

"So, the guy is a jerk that hates my girlfriend and me, because I'm her boyfriend. He's too proud to admit that he can't kill me, hurt me, or even properly punch me, though he'd really want to," I said, hoping to ease the tension in the room.

Rowena grinned. "Okay, I get that, but he's a psycho."

I nodded. "Yeah. Nothing you should worry about. Thanks for helping me, though. He surely deserved that punch."

Rowena nodded. "No problem," she said and looked down at her broken hand.

I stood up. "Let me see your hand," I said nervously. I mean, I ruined her hand and her whole career as an artist, just because she happened to be with me, in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

I had to do something, right? Because I could help her, though it'd probably cost me. A lot.

Rowena held out her hand to me. "It's broken," she said, sighing. "But it's not a problem. Everything's okay. It was worth it."

I took her hand in mine – it really was broken, as I feared. I looked up at Rowena to see that her eyes were shining. Her aura was showing me that she was upset…

But I could make it right, and I did. I started healing her hand subconsciously; the magic flowed through me on its own, without me knowing or thinking about what was happening. I tried to cover it up by moving her hand up and down. "I don't think it's broken," I said, trying to look as if I was really thinking about it.

But Rowena's hand was tingling, and Rowena wasn't Keith or someone else with very low intelligence level.

"Adrian, what are you…" Rowena asked in an uncertain voice, "are you actually… healing it?" she whispered.

I swallowed. Rowena wasn't a stupid girl; of course she immediately noticed something was wrong. I registered fear in her aura. She tried to take her hand away from me, but I didn't let her.

Then something happened that made me decide what to do – she looked me straight in the eyes.

So I compelled her, obviously. "You're going to forget everything that happened after the art classes finished," I said calmly.

Rowena didn't know anything about vampires, so she knew nothing about compulsion and her mind was easy to deceive. "Okay," she said silently.

"Now, what happened after the painting class ended?" I asked.

Rowena furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't remember," she said, shaking her head. "I know that we were supposed to go to a café together, like every Tuesday."

I nodded. "Exactly. That's where we went. And then I wanted to show you a painting, so we came here," I said, pointing at our surroundings.

Rowena grinned. "Of course! Now, will you stop talking and show me that painting already?"

Thank God, I had several paintings prepared. And thank God, Hopper and Lily were in the bedroom. Rowena loved the paintings, even though they were all showing Sydney. I didn't even remember a painting I painted in the past few months that had nothing to do with her. She was everywhere, and in everything.

The thought made me smile.

Rowena left a while later, her hand fixed and her memory erased. Everything was fine, thank God, except for one thing.

Me.

**It happened with these bouts of magic.** **I'd barely been able to drag myself out of bed when I'd brought Jill back. The toll of wielding so much life was just too great, and the mind rebounded from the high. Well, mine did. Lissa didn't have these dramatic ups and downs. Hers was more of a steady darkness that lingered with her for a few days, keeping her moody and melancholy until it lifted. Sonya had a mix of both effects. **

**My little brooding artist, Aunt Tatiana used to say with a chuckle, when I got in these moods. What's gotten into your head today? She'd speak fondly, like it was adorable. I could almost hear her voice now, almost see her standing there beside me. With a shaking breath, I closed my eyes and willed the image away. She wasn't here. Shadow-kissed people could see the dead. Crazy people only imagined them. **

**I ate my pizza standing at the counter, telling myself over and over that this mood would pass. I knew it would. It always did. But oh, how the waiting sucked. **

**When I finished, I returned to the living room and stared at the paintings. What had seemed wonderful and inspired now seemed shallow and stupid. They embarrassed me. I gathered them all up and tossed them into a corner on top of each other, uncaring of the torn canvas or wet paint. **

**Then I hit the liquor cabinet.**

**I'd made good progress on a bottle of tequila, sprawled on my bed and listening to Pink Floyd, when the bedroom door opened a couple hours later. I smiled when I saw Sydney . I was adrift on the buzz of tequila, which had effectively muted spirit and taken the edge off that terrible, terrible low. That wasn't to say I was bright and peppy either, but I no longer wanted to crawl into a hole. I'd defeated spirit, and seeing Sydney's beautiful face lifted me up even more. **

**She smiled back, and then, in one sharp glance, assessed the situation. The smile vanished. "Oh, Adrian," was all she said. **

**I held up the bottle. "It's Cinco de Mayo somewhere, Sage."**

**Her eyes made a quick sweep of the room. "Is Hopper celebrating with you?"**

"**Hopper? Why would—" My mouth snapped shut for a few moments. "Oh. I, uh, kind of forgot about him." **

"**I know. Maude sent a message by way of Ms. Terwilliger asking if someone was going to come for him." **

"**Crap." After everything that had happened with Rowena, my dragon fosterling had been the last thing on my mind. "I'm sorry, Sage. Totally slipped my mind. I'm sure he's fine, though. It's not like he's a real kid. And like I said, he's probably loving it." **

**But her expression didn't change, except to grow graver. She walked over and took the tequila from me, then carried it to the window. Too late, I realized what she was doing. She opened the window and dumped the rest of the bottle outside. I sat up with a jolt. **

"**That's expensive stuff!" **

**She shut the window and turned to face me. That look drew me up short. It wasn't angry. It wasn't sad. It was… disappointed. **

"**You promised me, Adrian. A social drink isn't a problem. Self- medicating is." **

"**How do you know it was self- medicating?" I asked, though I didn't contradict her. **

"**Because I know you, and I know the signs. Also, I sometimes check up on your bottles. You made a big dent in this one tonight—much more than a social drink." Glancing at the window, I nearly pointed out that technically, she was the one who'd made a big dent in the tequila. **

"**I couldn't help it," I said, knowing how lame that sounded. It was as bad as Angeline's "it's not my fault" mantra. "Not after what happened." **

**Sydney put the empty bottle on the dresser and then sat beside me on the bed. "Tell me." **

**I explained about Rowena and her hand. It was difficult staying on track with the story because I kept wanting to meander and make excuses. When I finally finished, Sydney gently rested her hand on my cheek. **

"**Oh, Adrian," she said again, and this time, her voice was sad. **

**I rested my hand over hers. "What was I supposed to do?" I whispered. "It was like Jill all over again. Well—not quite as bad. But there she was. She needed me, and I could help— then when she noticed, I had to make sure she forgot. What else was I supposed to do? Should I have let her break her hand? Should have I let her ruin her career? What else was I supposed to do?" **

**Sydney drew me into her arms and was silent for a long time. "I don't know. I mean, I know you couldn't not help. It's who you are. But I wish you hadn't. No… that's not right. I'm glad you did. Really. I just wish it wasn't so…complicated." She shook her head. "I'm not explaining it correctly. I'm no good at this." **

"**You hate that, don't you? Not knowing what to do." I rested my head against her shoulder, catching the faint scent of her perfume. "And you hate me like this." **

"**I love you," she said. "But I worry about you." **

**She drew me down to the bed and kissed me, even though I knew she didn't like the taste of tequila. The kiss reinforced that connection between us, that burning sense I always had that she was made for me, and I was made for her. Surely if I could just drown myself in her, I'd never need alcohol or pills of any kind. **

"**I have to go," she said at last. "I'm only supposed to be out buying toothpaste. It was a boring enough errand that Zoe wouldn't want to come." **

**I brushed wayward golden strands away from her face. "Clarence's tomorrow night?" **

**She nodded. "Wouldn't miss it." **

**I walked her to the front door. She did a double take at the ruined paintings but didn't say anything and kept her expression neutral. **

"**I can be strong," I said. **

**She smiled and stood on her tiptoes to kiss me goodbye. "You already are," she murmured. I watched her disappear into the night and hoped I'd been telling her the truth.**


	76. Chapter 19, part two: A Bad Feeling

**Author's note:**_ Good morning! Now you want to ask me, "Why aren't you in school?" And I'll just grin and say that my mom let me stay today so that I can write as many chapters as I can. Isn't she awesome? :D_

_Did you see that photo? Oh my God, I'm fangirling. I want TFH trailer and the book badly now!_

_1. __**sheerio4ever**__: I'm sighing too… I tried to avoid that problem, but I can't, because it's there and Adrian has to deal with it :( And yeah, I had some theories about Rowena being a witch, a Warrior, so many things, and then I realized that she's probably simply an awesome human :D Tut tut, I'm waiting for that moment too! Love you :)_

_2. __**Regina**__: I know, I know, and I support Zoe, but let's make sure she isn't rushing into a relationship without thinking about the consequences first! :D And believe me, it isn't so cool when you don't like the language – German was very hard for me :( Russian is awesome, but though I know Cyrillic, I don't like it! :( And that'd be amazing, really – once you get through these conjugations, Latin is a very nice language – it's much about logical thinking, and I love thinking logically! Thank you for reviewing :)_

_3. __**happygirl0987**__: Don't laugh, but I have no idea what to write at this point. I'm still trying to figure out the "Midnight mayhem" tweet :D Thank you! :)_

_4. __**TheHappyLol**__: No problem for not reviewing! Did you show the one-shot #15 to your cousin? Did she cry? :D Happy birthday to your annoying cousin! :P Ah, I don't know what to do about Rowena, I don't know how important she is in the major plot (but I bet she is, Richelle doesn't introduce new characters for entertainment), and I have no idea how to connect her with the Alchemists and everything else! :D Oh, I put the bolded font because it's the excerpt. Nope, Keith won't choke in his own blood, though you'd like that :P And of course, Richelle doesn't own Lily – you do! Thank you :)_

_5. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Yeah, but spirit wouldn't be so awesome in that case (though I think fire is pretty awesome too! :D). And phew, thank God that didn't end up being weird. Ah, when Mason died and Rose saw his ghost I was literally praying, "Please let it be him, please let it be him," and then it was! And then he had to go and I was like, "Noooooo!" And yeah, Rose said goodbye and I started crying :( I promise to stay in touch, of course! I wouldn't leave my friends even if I got kicked out of my school :D And yeah, next Monday (inshaAllah) I'll probably be writing from my computer! :) High five for crazy theories :D Thank you, you are very important influence for this story too! Like I said, my reviewers decide where the story's going to go, and your theories helped me decide a very important thing! ;D_

_6. __**IvashkovMehLuv**__: Okay, I'm confused now. You're confused about the excerpt? What did I delete? Hmm. I'm kind of slow this morning, so I'll have to ask you to try to explain it :D Thank you for the review! :) _

_7. __**Sam1405**__: Sam! *hugs you* I love this excerpt too, mostly because it gave me so many ideas for explaining spirit darkness. Of course, there'll be more action! I know, when I see someone review first chapters, I hide behind a pillow, thinking how the review must be awful! Thank you so much, Sam, we can celebrate together! :D I'm kind of amazed myself – it shows how devoted I am to this, and I wasn't really sure if I could do it. Thank you again, and love you! :)_

_8. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: So that means you like the excerpt, right? ;D_

_9. __**bukwurm13**__: Oh God, I know the feel of being without Internet :D We have a channel called "Soap opera" but Spanish, Indian and Turkish telenovellas are on every single channel! They're everywhere, but I stopped watching them when I was, like, 6 :D The whole country, on the other hand, is in love with those telenovellas. Oh come on, who doesn't love Adrian? You know why I want to be a doctor – to find my Adrian! ;D Ah, I'm not sure if you'll get to see that yet, but it'll be in the epilogue the latest :P And yeah, isn't Dimitri-Adrian bond awesome? I really love how they aren't enemies anymore. Yeah, Jill isn't acting all that melodramatic anymore. Oh Christian, I'll miss him too. I wanted for Sydney to tell Zoe about Adrian too! And then Sydney decided not to while I was writing and I was like, "No!" I'm sounding like a crazy person now :D it's more the homework, the homework I was supposed to do yesterday and have an exam today but I didn't go to school! :D Yup, if the guy in the movie doesn't have really, really convincing green eyes… they better watch out! Hmm, I'm not sure about Lissa, she was probably writing it off as protectiveness and guardian thing, since they weren't really together while she was there :D I simply HAD to put a Sydrian moment in this chapter, though the drama is unfolding a while later! :( I'm simply glad you loved the chapters and thank you for reviewing. I love reading your thoughts :) _

_Just to get it clear, I never drank a single drop of alcohol in my life, so I'll guide myself with movies and books in trying to copy this morning of Adrian's life. :)_

_Love you all!_

_These characters belong to Richelle Mead._

The bad thing about getting up after getting drunk is the headache.

The awful headache that won't pass for hours. It makes you ask yourself, _Was it worth it? Numbing spirit just to be unable to numb the headache?_

I was asking that myself the whole morning. Jill was probably getting expelled because she was experiencing the after-effects of my "self-medicating," as Sydney called it. _Sorry, Jailbait_, I sent through the bond and then shut my eyes tightly.

If only I could stay in bed the whole day, not thinking about anything, waiting for this awful state to pass.

Well, that was something Adrian Ivashkov would've done before he met Sydney.

Now, I knew I had something to do today, and I was trying – and failing – to get up. My attempt in sitting up ended up with me on the floor.

Thank God, Jackie came yesterday and took Hopper and Lily with her. I wasn't the best example of a father today. They would've probably gotten a trauma or something if they saw me in this state.

Somehow, I managed to get myself to the bathroom.

A shower didn't help.

And when I looked at the mirror, I scared myself.

I was looking awful – bags under my reddish eyes, lids half-closed, my hair as messy as it could ever get. I noticed I'd have to cut it very soon, which meant we were in Palm Springs for a very long time already. I mean, it was… September? When we came here with Jill. And now it was April.

We were here for almost a year. And I was in a relationship with Sydney for almost four months.

Wow. That's a long time. Longer than I've ever been with anyone, I realized, if you excluded Rose.

But I've never actually been in a relationship with Rose. Not like I was with Sydney. Sydney gave a whole new meaning to the word "relationship."

Anyway. I had the whole morning to try and get myself to look like a normal person, because today was the feeding day and if Sydney saw me in this state, she'd get a heart attack. I wanted to avoid that.

So I spent the whole morning brushing my hair, drinking tomato juices, pills and everything else that was supposed to help. The headache subsided, but I could still feel it at the back of my head.

I looked myself in the mirror for the last time. Not my best, but it'd have to do.

No matter how many times I took a shower, I still smelled like alcohol. I hoped the cologne would manage to mask that.

I was hoping that the reason because I was feeling miserable was the headache and the fact that I hadn't fed for almost three days, but I wasn't sure. I had to win the battle against spirit.

Being alone certainly didn't help – I was already feeling like Robinson Crusoe. Hopper and Lily would cheer me up with their squealing, if they were there.

God, I was despairing over two dragons. I was definitely going crazy.

When I came to Clarence's, Sydney's car was already there. I looked at the watch and realized I wasn't late.

Something didn't happen, right? They were just early, no serial killers, Re-education, kidnapping…

Okay, now I was paranoid.

I knocked on the door, and instead of Sydney or Jill, Angeline opened them.

She raised an eyebrow. "Were you drinking last night?"

I rolled my eyes. "You don't say," I said sarcastically.

"Well, I wasn't sure if you looked at the mirror this morning," she said simply.

God, Keepers surely knew how to be annoying. "Give me a break, Angeline," I said and she moved aside to let me in.

"Someone is a bit moody today?" she said from behind me and I tried to move as fast as I could.

I entered the living room. Sydney was sitting on the couch beside Eddie, and her face expression was something between sad and angry. She was looking at the wall.

What did I do now?

"Good morning?" I asked warily, knowing that 2PM was "morning" only by my standards.

Sydney looked at me and gave me a faint smile. That was a good sign, right?

And then I turned my head towards the wall. No, not towards the wall, but towards…

Zoe and Neil. They were sitting on the floor, a book in front of them, and Neil was pointing at something with a pencil. They were both smiling, and Zoe was nodding, though I was very sure she wasn't thinking about whatever Neil was teaching her.

I looked at Sydney again and smiled. Well, it wasn't as if she could stop them from falling in love with each other, and I warned Neil. Perhaps he was good for her? Perhaps she'd be more prepared for Jared and whatever he wanted to do to her. I didn't really understand Jared's plan – if he wanted to "punish" his daughters, why was he waiting for so long? Why didn't he simply try it immediately? Why the wait? Did he know about Sydney's powers and capabilities?

I didn't care. I wanted to have Sydney protected in every single moment. "Would you come here, Castile?" I asked and Sydney furrowed her eyebrows. I just winked at her.

Eddie followed me into the hallway. "Is there a problem, Adrian?" he asked in his guardian tone.

I shook my head. "No, of course not," I said immediately. "I just need a favor."

Eddie didn't hesitate. "Whatever you want."

I nodded. "I need you to watch Sydney. Her father, the psycho, is probably going to attempt a kidnapping with ninjas and so. Don't leave her alone. I'd tie her to myself, but I'm not a student of Amberwood. You have no idea how much it'd mean to me."

Eddie nodded. "I know. I'm trying to get Angeline to keep an eye on Jill, Sydney and Zoe, but she's too busy being with Trey all the time."

"Well, of course," Angeline said from behind us, "Trey is my boyfriend, and the Warriors want to kill him, so my duty is to protect him. At least until he agrees to go to my family. Someone told him my brother is stronger than him, and now he doesn't want to go."

I laughed. "If I was Trey, I wouldn't want to go there neither. Good luck with persuading him into meeting your family."

Angeline frowned. "I seriously don't understand what problem you have with the Keepers. So what if we live in caves and don't use shampoo? I don't see anything wrong with me!"

"It's not you," a soft voice said from behind us. "It's the fact that he'll have to fight your brother, and then marry you if he wins."

Angeline turned around, revealing a beautiful Jilll, and someone's aura filled the whole room. I turned and saw Eddie smile, looking at her adoringly and protectively.

Well, if Zoe was allowed to be with Neil, then Eddie was allowed to be with Jill, too. The only difference between Neil and Eddie was the fact that I knew for sure Eddie was a honorable man who wouldn't even touch Jill in a passionate way, let alone do something else. I still wasn't sure about Neil, but I did see something more than just lust in his eyes. His aura was telling me the same.

Perhaps we could give them all a chance.

Angeline brought me back to Earth. "But why is he afraid of my brother? He's stronger!"

Eddie was the one to enlighten Angeline. "But your brother's a dhampir, Angeline," he said softly. "He's naturally stronger than Trey, and I don't think that he'd hold his strength back if his pride was in question."

Angeline scoffed. "He wouldn't take advantage of Trey's weaknesses," she said firmly. "I'd make him see reason. I didn't know Trey was afraid… I simply thought it was because my family's uncivilized."

Now I interrupted. "Believe me, Trey's dad is more uncivilized – if he met you, he'd want to kill you. At least your brother wouldn't fight with Trey until his last breath."

We all laughed at that.

Then I noticed something – one side of Jill's face was a bit darker than the other one. As if she could read my thoughts – actually, she could read my thoughts – Jill moved away, further into the dark hallway.

"Jill, what's wrong with your face?" I asked suspiciously, moving past Angeline and forward. Yes, I was right – one side of her face really was darker.

It was as if someone… punched her. "It's nothing," Jill said softly, but Angeline, like always, spoke up. "Oh, she didn't tell you? She took one for Eddie," she said cheerfully, making me turn around in astonishment.

"Eddie let someone punch her?" I asked, feeling my voice rise. Eddie was shaking his head frantically.

"No, of course not! It was an accident," he said, panic evident in his voice,

"An accident?" I asked, not able to process what was going on. All I knew was that someone punched my Jill and that Eddie was guilty for it.

"Adrian," Jill said, sounding exasperated, "It's nothing. Eddie had a fight with a guy, and I moved in front of him while he was arguing with Micah, and the guy accidentally punched me. It all happened in a second, so you can't really blame him. He didn't even see me move in front of him."

I took a deep breath. _Come here, Jailbait, _ I said through the bond, _or I'll start shouting at you in front of them. Let me heal you._

Jill sighed, but did as I asked. Her eye was an awful contrast to the rest of her face – it made me feel very, _very _angry.

"You let him do this to her?" I asked, more out of shock than anger. I simply couldn't believe Eddie would let something like this happen and not get expelled or thrown into jail for a murder. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sydney," Eddie said in a small voice. "Sydney stopped me. I wanted to kill him, but I would've just made a problem and she asked me not to do it. So I didn't."

I eyed him suspiciously – I didn't know Sydney and him were that close. Perhaps asking him to guard her wasn't a bad decision after all.

So I shook my head, sighed and put my hand on Jill's eye. She was healed within a second. Eddie and her both said, "Thank you," making me wonder just for what exactly they were thanking me for.

After I found Dorothy and fed, I returned into the living room and found Sydney lecturing others. Nothing unusual.

She was standing in the middle of the room and gesticulating with her hands. "I don't understand how you don't understand that! So, if you want to calculate how long it'd take for the body to stop moving, you have to take the path, the speed and the force of friction and put them together in a formula."

"Oh my God, is she actually talking about physics?" I couldn't refrain myself from saying. Sydney lit up when she saw me and she actually blushed, looking even cuter than before.

Well, at least she wasn't commenting on how I looked. "I was trying to explain mechanics to Angeline, Eddie and Neil. Jill and Zoe aren't interested in it anyway, so they're trying to do their math homework."

"And we did nothing so far," Zoe said, and I raised an eyebrow when I saw Jill sitting next to her.

Huh. The girl surely wasn't afraid of us anymore. I was just hoping that it was good.

"Well, since I know nothing about nuclear physics, I'll ask you to continue, Sage," I said, bowing and taking my seat between Angeline and Eddie. Thankfully, the awkward tension between them was gone.

The day actually went by very quickly, with Sydney lecturing us about physics and math. I enjoyed seeing her explain something boring with so much passion, and after a few hours I was sure I could get a physics degree.

But it all ended too soon. Sydney gave a mathematical task to Zoe and she waited for her to lose herself in equations and formulas. Then she gave me some kind of a sign with her eyes and said she was going to the bathroom. I caught a glimpse of her aura – Sydney was upset. So there really was something wrong, after all.

"What's going on?" I asked as soon as I closed the door of the living room.

Sydney sighed. "Adrian, I… I have a bad feeling."

I immediately hugged her and she sank into my embrace. She was trembling. "You know, when you know something bad's going to happen? Well, that's how I'm feeling now," she whispered.

"Sydney," I said gently, kissing the top of her head and breathing her in. We were still in some kind of a fight, and being this close to her with spirit and everything bothering me was really a therapy I needed. "Nothing bad's going to happen."

"I just…" she whispered. "I'm just scared. For you. For Zoe. For Jill. They could come and kill us all in any second, and I wouldn't even have a chance to tell you all how much I love you."

I leaned back to look at her. Sydney was beautiful in every possible state, but now she looked small, vulnerable and… unearthly. "Listen to me now," I said fiercely, moving my hands from her waist to rest on her face. "We all know how much you love us, especially me. You're not going to think about things that might or might not be true – you're going to live in today and now, and when they come for you, I'll be there to protect you."

Sydney closed her eyes and sighed once again. "Just take care of yourself, okay? I… If something happened to you…" she stopped, shaking her head. "You're right. I don't want to think about that. Now tell me, are you feeling better?"

I smiled. "Of course. I had a bit of a headache, but that's normal. Spirit's not bothering me, at least not now. Four more days?"

Sydney smiled back. I knew how much strength it took for her to reassure me with that one, simple smile. "I'll see you on Friday first," she whispered in a seductive tone, making me raise both eyebrows and making all kinds of thoughts appear in my head.

So now, hours later, I was trying to get that feeling out of my head, too. I already called Sydney once and she told me she was with Eddie while she had to leave Zoe with Neil to study in the library. Angeline was with Jill, so everyone was covered. She was actually worried about me, because I was alone, painting in the apartment, but after the episode with Keith, I knew they weren't going to attack me. I wasn't an interest to them.

Sydney, Zoe and Jill, on the other side, were very important. But when and where would Jared attack? And who would he attack?

A few hours later, my suspicions were confirmed.

I got a phone call. Sydney. I glanced at the clock – 11PM. There was definitely something wrong.

"Adrian," Sydney said in a desperate voice, making me uncertain if she was kidnapped, after all, "It's Zoe. She's gone."


	77. Chapter 19, part three: One Sentence

**Author's note:**_ Ah, okay. So today I had to go to school and I just found I have an exam from Latin tomorrow (and I just tried to study it but it's just so… boring?), sociology and psychology on Thursday, AND Math on Friday (and I don't know anything!), and yeah, I forgot Arabic. So thank God I had a chapter prepared (I have one for tomorrow, too and around 500 words for Thursday), though I have no idea what I wrote about :D_

_I just feel like a sharing something with you… my grandmother broke her hip, and since she's 80 she's probably going to die, and though she's living in another country and I saw her around 5 times in my whole life, it still hurts – mostly because it hurts my mother. But we can't fight against God's will, right?_

_Okay, now onto happier subjects. Nicholas Wheeler (though he's born in 1982) is DEFINITELY my Adrian. I mean, I can't explain it – when I saw him (and Danilla Kozlovsky) for the first time, I was like, "Ah, he's okay, but he's not the version from my head!" and then through time, through reading books and writing my own story they both somehow managed to get themselves in my brain as the picture of Adrian and Dimitri._

_So yes. When I first saw those pictures, I literally started screaming, because they're so…. Torturing! I just want to read TFH now! I was fine for over 6 months, but now, now I'm just….. Ahh, melting. And Nic, he is so, so, so handsome! And he is born the same day as I am! And that is so awesome! :D _

_Okay, enough with the fangirling. Focus on reviews, Ehlimana, and Latin and sociology. Not Nic Wheeler and his gorgeous brown eyes! I simply need to meet someone with green eyes. None look real to me._

_1. __**TheHappyLol**__: Okay, so you have a female cousin and a male brother, and it was your brother's birthday. I got it :D And I know I'm evil, but I'm laughing now because she cried! (she's not going to read this, right?) And your parents aren't going to sue me, right? Yeah, Adrian is awesome ;D And noooo, you're going to get expelled because of me, you crazy popcorn soda crying screaming stabbing-people girl! :D And yeah, you're right! ;D Thank you :)_

_2. __**Katrick**__: I'm sorry for not responding to c75 review, but you wrote it after I published c76 :) Oh come on, I forget important people all the time, but I remember Mason because his death made me cry *sniff* Now reviewing what you sent: Oh, giggles! I love scenes in which girls are giggling! :D oooooh, goblins have super speed! For the sixth time? :O I'm feeling sorry for the goblin because the girl's being mean! :( Awww, "cute princess!" That is so… :3 Okay, we have vampires too, it's getting more and more interesting :D Ahh, I'm starting to love this story! The best part of a real love story is when the boy and the girl are playing and they're still not together and I'm trying to figure out who's in love with who! Okay, I must admit that it does have mistakes, but I managed to read it and get into it because I see the plot, no matter the formalities! I never heard of "Mork and Mindy," What's it about? :) Anyway, I love the story and you should definitely continue! And The Mortal Instruments… sigh. I still didn't watch it, believe it or not. Love you, and you rock! :D_

_3. __**bukwurm13**__: Well, not exactly. She knows about me reading and loving the Bloodlines series and though I got a sigh, a facepalm and a strange look, she supports me :D And then I told her I was writing every day for almost three months, that I was continuing a book that still isn't out and she rolled her eyes but accepted that too, though I hadn't told her what I'm writing about! ;D I was on the phone with my best friend, talking about angels, and my grandmother burst in the room screaming, "That is from the devil! I'm disgusted! Why do your parents allow that?" and my best friend heard and laughed while I just looked at her – she was like one of those aggressive "Jesus is our savior" men from the movies :D And would I read it if there wasn't Sydrian or other pairings? Well, of course not! :D I was kind of freaking out and I'm still freaking out but the teachers "understand" and all, they think I was sick :D The physics talk was inspired by my knowledge of fundamental forces (and there's going to be an exam on the 2__nd__ of October) :D You'll see about Zeil, but I'm compassionate towards Sydney! And you're right there – Adrian should've been angry at Sydney or at least said something, but it'd really complicate things :( Nah, you'll see what happened with Zoe . Love you, and thanks! :)_

_4. __**happygirl0987**__: Yeah, you'd all love that, but you'll see pretty soon what happened with her! Thank you :)_

_5. __**Lilietje99**__: I couldn't find TGL Dutch cover, but the Bloodlines one is definitely pretty! I don't want to know how it's going to look in my country, once it's translated, but the VA covers were awful :( I'm so sad because there are only 5 chapters left – I'm bonded to this story :( Thank God, I'm okay now – headaches are short and they don't hurt too much; my arm has healed and I get enough sleep (7 hours is enough :D), all because I prepared chapters in advance :) Yeah, "I love her" seems legit :D That actually works (18-14 relationship)? I mean, I have experience myself but not… really. And oh come on, it's good to have you back :P Love you, and thank you! :)_

_6. __**Sydney Ivashkov**__: Oh my God, is it you? The Sydney Ivashkov from, like, chapter 7-8-9-10, two months ago? :D No matter – thank you so much! :)_

_7. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: Oh yes, again. :D_

_8. __**sheerio4ever**__: Pray, pray, and then cry after 50 words :P Aww, I'd actually accept your offer, but my parents would kill me if I tried to go to a trip in Ireland, so no :( But don't you worry, I'll conquer Ireland one day! :D Thank you, and love you! (Did I actually see that you UPDATED? I'm so going to read those stories tomorrow.)_

_9. __**Sam1405**__: Hmm. I do hope it's cleared up in this chapter, but if not, you know I don't mind explaining! :) *even bigger, bigger hug back* Oh my God *bows* it's been my pleasure to write this and read your reviews, my lady :D And now you're making me blush – I'm certainly not that good. Yup, I think I'm going to make a party after all this is over, though I have no idea how I'm going to do it! :D Thank you so much again, love you! :)_

_10. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: I need to make a list of all songs you suggested. And I need to make a Sydrian video out of it. And a one-shot. :D Oh come on, don't be sorry, you know I'm here, loving every single review, no matter when it's written! :) And don't panic. Not yet. But when Adrian and Sydney are separated, you may start panicking :D Love you, and thank you for making me laugh again! :)_

_11. __**damonforever86**__: I love the phrase, "I loved seeing Hopper with his new friend, Lily" – that's just so cute! :D And I'm sitting here thinking, How weird is it going to be when she reads the chapter in which I'm answering to her a-month-old-review? :D And yeah, Sydney and Adrian acting like a married couple with children is just so… funny to write :D Adrian, a dad, and me sighing happily while I melt down. Thank you so much, my devoted friend! :)_

_12. __**rainy**__: No, no, you're not a lazy pig! (though I'm laughing because of the phrase) Hmm. One of my first dreams was to live here, in the mountains and write, publish books while my husband takes care of the rest. It'd be a wonderful life, really. Now I'm trying to become a doctor, make a lot of money for a couple years and then take a nice, long, two-years long vacation in which I'll write a nice, long book about the almost perfect life I'm living. But writing something like Richelle, it could be my style too though I've never thought about it. I'm more of a writer of my thoughts (though I have a very crazy imagination and I already have an idea for a YA book :D). Yeah, it's all so very cool until you come to the psychology class and your teacher blinks, like, 10000 times in a minute. It's so, so distracting! :D The languages I speak are my native, English, German and Arabic, though I know a bit of Spanish too. Now I'm on Latin, and I'd really love to learn SA. I know, it's crazy, and now coming to my native language classes (after a whole summer of talking and writing in English) is weird – I keep forgetting words! :D "Econs" stands for "Economics," right? Because, we don't have that subject. _

_Since I see you're interested, I'll write you the subjects I had:_

_Elementary (1-4__th__ grade): Native l., English, "Nature and society," PE, Math, Art, Music_

_5-6__th__ grade: Native l., English, German, Biology, History, Geography, PE, IS, Art, Music, Math, "Technical studies," "Culture of living"_

_7-8__th__ grade: Native l., English, German, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, History, Geography, PE, IS, Art, Music, Math, "Technical studies," Democracy, Religious studies_

_High school (1-2__nd__ grade): Native l., English, Arabic, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, History, Geography, PE, IS, Art, History of Music, Math, Religious studies_

_3__rd__ grade: Native l., English, Arabic, Math, PE, Democracy, Sociology, Latin, Psychology (I can choose one of the following: a) Biology, Chemistry, Physics; b) IS, Physics; c) German; d) History, Geography)_

_4__th__ grade: Native l., English, Arabic, Math, PE, Philosophy, Religious studies, Latin (I still choose one of the following: a,b,c,d)_

_This is basically the same for all schools in my country, though some, for example, have Art and Music for two years while I had only art in 1__st__ grade and only Music in 2__nd__. _

_I hope you enjoyed this and that I wasn't really boring, but it's kind of complicated to explain :D And now that I'm back in school, I want to get back under the covers and sleep :(_

_Okay, I'm sorry for bothering you all with this long A/N but I'm frustrated because of the Latin exam and I don't want to study :( Hope you enjoy the chapter, there's one prepared for tomorrow! ;D_

_Love you all!_

_These characters belong to Richelle Mead._

Driving fast at night isn't a good thing.

Sydney driving well past the legal speed at night is a good thing, except if she's upset and chasing something that might and might not be a trap.

I was sitting in my seat, looking at her face, trying to figure out what she was thinking about by the changes in her aura. She was driving through the whole Palm Springs at a very, very crazy speed, making me remember just how serious this situation was.

Neil Raymonds, the ultimate guardian was hit with something while he and Zoe were going out of a café – Sydney didn't have the patience to interrogate him further – so he was out of the game, and the Alchemist ninjas took her away.

Sydney came back to her room after an hour of talking with Jill, just to find it empty. Then Neil woke up and gave a call to Eddie, telling him someone attacked him and kidnapped Zoe.

And then Sydney called me, telling me to wait for her with the Mustang. It all reminded me of Alicia too much, and I couldn't help but feel as if things were going to happen the same way.

Then Sydney told me to get out of the driver's seat and I barely had time to get into the car, when she started the car.

And we were off to somewhere, without Sydney explaining anything.

"Will you tell me where we're going?" I tried for the millionth time.

"Zoe called me," Sydney said in a desperate voice, "telling me they left her on an address near Wolfe's house."

She didn't say anything else, and no matter how hard I tried to explain to her that it was most likely a trap, she wouldn't listen.

Her aura… it was very similar to that night when we… when her powers swirled out of control. I knew her magic wasn't going to do anything, except if Keith or Jared were close – she was going to kill them both, strike them with a lightning or something if she saw them.

I found myself hoping they did.

Sydney stopped the car and got out of it without even pausing to see if I was going. She was fast, running like a crazy person, but I was still a vampire, so I managed to keep up with her pace.

"Sage, if there's someone there…" I started.

Sydney cut me off. "I can take care of everyone, so don't worry," she said in a low voice.

Damn, she was angry. No matter how much I wanted to protect her, I knew I'd just manage to piss her off worse.

But I was scared that she was going to be very disappointed when she realized it was all a trap.

Oh, how I wished I was wrong, but Sydney suddenly stopped and picked up a paper.

Her aura suddenly faded. All feelings – anger, annoyance, fear, it all disappeared.

The paper fell from Sydney's hands and she turned away from me.

I picked it up, wondering what they wanted.

_One re-educated, one to go._

Only one sentence. Worse than the fact that I was right was the fact that Sydney desperately wanted to believe Zoe wasn't taken to Re-education.

I focused on her. She was turned away from me, towards the night and the desert. The night was actually beautiful – warm and windy, the sky full of stars, the moon shining brightly…

I put my hands around her waist, leaning down to whisper in her ear, "It's okay. Don't be upset."

Sydney shook her head. She wasn't making a single sound, and since everything was calm and silent, I could hear sounds easily. But no – all I could hear was her breathing and her heart beating.

We stood there, facing the night and the emptiness it carried.

Sydney finally decided to say something. She whispered, "I actually wanted this to happen once. I wanted for her to be taken away so that I could be with you. An now that it actually happened, I feel guilty. It's all my fault – not protecting her, being too caught up in my own life to be able to help her."

I kissed her cheek, hoping it'd calm her down. After all, women were supposed to drama and men were supposed to be smart, wise and reasonable. "First of all, it's not your fault. Zoe being taken to Re-education is the consequence of her own choice – she decided to testify against Jared on her own. You didn't make her do anything. It's partially Neil's fault too – he was supposed to protect her."

"But now they're going to ruin her whole life, now they're going to turn her into Keith," Sydney whispered and shuddered. "I have to find her, Adrian. I don't take if it kills me – I have to find her."

I nodded. "We'll find her. You're going to do that scrying spell again, and we'll find her within a few minutes. And then we'll all go in there and save her."

"But what if it's too late, Adrian?" Sydney said in a desperate voice. "What if Jared decides to kill her instead? What if he decides she isn't worth of his time? What if she's just another disappointment for him?"

"It could be a trap," I said, a thought crossing my mind. "Zoe could be the bait for you, luring you in their territory. Jared knows how much you love her, but he knows how powerful you are, too, after that showdown in Washington. He won't hurt her – she's his daughter, for the God's sake."

Sydney started to tremble. "But I'm his daughter too, Adrian," she said in the voice of a hurt little girl – the girl she still was, just like I was the little boy his father hated. I completely understood this aspect of her, so I wasn't surprised when I heard tears in her voice. "Why does he have to hate me? What did my mom – my real mom – do, so that he hates me, too?"

I turned her around and leaned down so that our foreheads were touching. "He hates you because he can't bear the fact that you grew up to become this wonderful, perfect person you are, despite all that he did to ruin you. Your mom is surely a wonderful woman, too, a woman he didn't deserve."

Sydney sobbed. "And now my baby sister has to pay for those things," she said, her tears shining in the moonlight. "I can't live with that on my soul, Adrian. I'll find her and trade myself for her. I'll do anything to save her from him."

I kissed Sydney's cheek. "You are _not_ going to do that. You are going to go in there with me, Eddie, Angeline, Trey, Jill, Neil, Rose, Dimitri, Christian and a hundred other people, and we're going to beat them. This is what he wants – to weaken you before the real fight starts."

Sydney shook her head, looking at me with those shining brown eyes of hers. As a vampire, I could see her perfectly well, and she was more beautiful than ever. "You'd just be in danger because of me. He'd hurt you all, and I couldn't live with that fact. My father is dangerous, Adrian. He'd love to see me suffer because you. He'd do anything to see me cry."

We were impossibly close, and I knew my self-control was slipping. "The only person allowed to see you cry is me," I breathed, and closed the distance between us.

Sydney kissed me back as if she was going to die. She was kissing me as fierce as never before – as if she desperately needed a distraction.

I pulled her closer, my hands on the small of her back, the kiss tasting of tears and fear. Sydney was still crying, so I pulled back to gently kiss her neck, not wanting to choke her because of my selfishness.

"Let's go do that spell," she breathed when I kissed her pulse line. I understood – if we stayed here and kissed until tomorrow, it'd be exactly like she said. We'd be happy because Zoe wasn't there, and we'd be happy because they took her away. Neither Sydney nor I wanted to profit from her being taken to Re-education, no matter how much I wanted her.

I pulled back and dried her tears, smiling to reassure. "She'll be okay," I said gently.

Sydney nodded. "I know. We'll make sure of it."

When we came back to the Mustang, Sydney didn't get in – she opened the passenger door and started digging through her purse.

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't suppose you have a bowl here?" I asked, not sure what she was doing.

Sydney found something and balled her hand into a fist. "Adrian," she whispered gently, watching me with complete honesty in her eyes.

"Yeah?" I said, furrowing my eyebrows. Where was she headed with this?

"I…" she started, then bit her lower lip. "I want to give you something that's very important to me."

I didn't say anything, I just raised an eyebrow and waited. What, and why was she giving something to me?

Sydney took my hand in hers and put something in it. "You gave me a necklace once," she said, touching the wooden cross around her neck. It was true – she always wore it, ever since I gave it to her. The thought made something flip in my stomach. Oh God, my body was acting as if I was 15 again, and I actually liked it.

"It was my mom's. Well, not from my real mother, but from the woman I thought was my mother. I never, ever put it on, because I knew dad'd find a way to destroy it. I wasn't allowed to get attached to things – except for the cross, which tied me to religion. So I want you to wear it and have something mine."

I stopped examining the simple silver ring and looked up at Sydney, putting it back in her hand. "I can't take something that has such a great value, Sydney," I said truthfully. "I'll just lose it."

Sydney smiled and shook her head. "No, you won't. I believe in you, and it's time for you to start believing in yourself. There's a protection spell in the ring – it won't fade for a while. But it's okay if you don't want to…" she looked down, biting her lower lip again.

So there she was – the real, vulnerable Sydney, afraid of being rejected. The business-like, uptight, serious, strong Sydney was gone, because it was just a mask. I loved the honest, young Sydney more. She was the girl I fell in love with, after all.

I quickly put the ring on my left hand and smiled. "Now we both won't be alone, where ever we go," I said gently.

Sydney looked up at me, her eyes shining again. "Thank you, Adrian," she breathed. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

I hugged her now and kissed her neck. "I might know," I said, remembering how nervous I felt when I gave her the cross.

And I realized we were meant for each other. We'd save Zoe, we'd beat the Alchemists, and everything would be okay.

But I said that a million times already and the "everything would be okay" phrase became a fairytale. There was always something or someone, wanting to kill us, kidnap us, wanting to take revenge or just simply ruin the peace of our lives.

And people actually loved watching movies about vampires.


	78. Chapter 20, part one: Democracy

**Author's note:**_ Good evening! So I have only 500 words prepared after this chapter, but I'll have quite a lot time tomorrow (I hope), though I have math and chemistry exams, and I'll write the chapter._

_I'm really sorry to everyone who PM-ed me, I'll try to answer your messages tomorrow. I really don't have time to do it today with all the homework :(_

_I also have no idea what I wrote in this one, so don't mind if it's crazy! :D_

_And are we all fangirling because of those trailer? I know it's cheap, I know it looks like nothing, I know it'll make us go crazy until the book's out, I know… but I'm still sitting here and grinning like a crazy person :D_

_1. __**sheerio4ever**__: Thank you, my friend, for your endless support. I know I'm awful because I still haven't read your updates, and I'm really sorry for it! :( love you! _

_2. __**TheHappyLol**__: I'll give you a hint – you shouldn't be too worried for Zoe ;D Thanks for making me laugh by turning into Angeline with that review :D_

_3. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Oooooh, I'd love to hear a song that's both Clace and Sydrian (because they're just so… different pairings! :D). And no, don't hyperventilate yet, I'm still in a peaceful phase. When I start freaking out, you're allowed to do the same :D Thank you for everything! :)_

_4. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Yay for the Internet! :D Would I love a perfectly normal Adrian Ivashkov that heals people in his free time? Hmm, probably yes because it's Adrian, but not anyone else :D And I know, I know, it's ridiculous, but when she said goodbye + Dimitri was taken away, I was just *sniff* and then I started to cry like a lunatic (it was around 3 AM :D). High five-ing you all the time! :D Of course my reviewers are important! I'm nothing without you guys – I can write the best story ever, but what's the point if nobody ever reads it? I'm sure there was a bunch of awesome ancient stories back in the second century and so, but they're forgotten because nobody ever read them. Of course, you help me a lot with your theories and you make me feel like I'm not totally crazy :D The crazy thing is – in reality, we know nothing of Zoe and Neil. We just guess things. And when I read the new review for the real TFH in which they said, "There's going to be a new pairing nobody even dreamed about" I was immediately, like, it's Zeil, it's Zeil! :D So we practically imagined the whole thing and made it a done deal, but what if Neil falls in love with Rowena, or something awkward? Or if he's the bad guy? That was my first thought after reading TIS :D Of course, Sydney's not worried about him being a dhampir (it's an excuse), it's more an age thing, but we know her! Hope you find your answers in this chapter, and our poor Sydney was scared that her sister was going to hate her :( Thank you for these awesome conversations and love you! :)_

_5. __**happygirl0987**__: I'll say it again – Zoe's not the one you need to worry about (at least that's how I want the story to go in this moment :D). Thank you for every single review! :)_

_6. __**bukwurm13**__: Not enough sleep :D I'm saving the fight for the weekend because it's very important and I don't want to mess it up. And why are you 5 second away from crying? :O I didn't get you that emotional, right? No crazy moments, my mom really is the gentlest person in the universe (and my dad, and my brother, and my sister) :) Well, I only had 3 classes until now and the teacher was talking about the history of psychology, and we had one class in which we pretended we were psychologists and we tried to solve the problem "Do witnesses really have good memory?" I scrolled through the book, though, and it has IQ tests, memory tests, it's mostly about us and our psychic capabilities, and we'll learn about mental diseases and processes. I don't like the teacher – she has a really, really deep voice and keeps blinking (1000 times in a minute, it's unnerving!). Thank you, I wish you good luck too – I partially know the feel :( Well it's really funny – I've never met anyone with green eyes! How is that possible? I need an Adrian, fast! :D I have a friend, his eyes are unidentified (it's something between turquoise, blue and green) and he's a Muslim, so yeah, it just depends on the geographic area the person is living in. Nope, you're not stupid, I'm going to offend someone but I still think all Nordic (Norway, Iceland, Denmark) girls are blonde :D Thank you for everything, and love you! :)_

_7. __**rainy**__: Yeah, I want the magic too – it's just so awesome! Sydney could ask for Jackie's help, but she won't (I think?) :D Thank you, my subjects are on Advanced level too and I'm already confused and scared, and we haven't even started with the real thing yet, so I know the feel. Thank you for the thumbs up for my exams :) Ahh, that sounds really boring, and I'm kind of like Sydney – I want to learn all the time, so it'd be really awful for me :( I know the feel, I'm a campaigner too! (I mean, who studies every day?) You are definitely right there – I'm not the brainy type, I laughed to those who decided to take Chemistry-Biology-Physics. I wanted to be a singer, a pilot, an astronomer, a writer, but a doctor? Nah. Then my grandmother ended up in a hospital on the 1__st__ of May, 2013 and I was in the garden, thinking how I didn't want that to happen to any of my parents or those I loved. So I decided to become a doctor and help them in any way possible (thank God, the war didn't do anything to their bodies, but they still went through it and they're more tired than normal people, even though they're 50, you know?), so I'm going through this torture now. But I'm determined and I really hope I'll succeed. I'm not bored at all, though I think I'm boring! :D Thank you so much, I hope I'll be able to do regularly updates :)_

_8. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: What if he ends up being the good guy in the real TFH? I ruined the book for you! *evil laugh* :D Thank you! :)_

_Love you all, and thank you. You have no idea how much every single review means to me._

_These characters belong to Richelle Mead._

Zoe. My little sister, in the arms of my psychotic father. Surviving a night without her. It was all so hard.

I always knew dad was acting strange. I always knew there was something wrong with him and I always knew our family wasn't normal.

But, as a little child, all I wanted was to please him. If he wanted me to know the whole periodical system of elements by heart, I'd learn it. If he wanted me to jump off a cliff, I'd jump.

I wasn't that little child anymore. I knew he hated me, I knew why. Now, when he wanted to destroy my sister's life, I wouldn't let him. I wouldn't let him destroy her like he did with me. If I hadn't found Adrian, I would've been seriously messed up with my eating disorder, fear of my father, denying myself the things I wanted.

So I focused on Zoe – Zoe, my beautiful sister. Zoe, the girl that was supposed to be a loyal Alchemist, but she fell in love with a dhampir. Zoe, who deserved a real life. Zoe, who I protected my whole life. Zoe, to who I couldn't say about my relationship with Adrian because of my father.

With those thoughts, I finally found her. Zoe was…

In Los Angeles.

"Adrian?" I asked as I sat up, my vision a bit blurry. He immediately gave me a glass of orange juice – I didn't hesitate in taking it.

"Did you find her?" he asked uncertainly from behind me.

I turned around, drinking the juice. "It's… weird," I said, frowning.

Adrian didn't say anything – he just looked at me with his trusting eyes, making me shiver and feel all giddy.

"Zoe is in LA," I said simply.

Adrian raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like a trap to me," he said wisely. "There isn't a Re-education centre there, right?"

I shook my head. "No. The one Keith was in was much, much more far away. Logically, if there was a centre in LA, they would've taken him there. I mean, I don't know – there could be one, but I've never heard of one."

Adrian shook his head. "We're not going, not until we send a dozen guardians to see if the area is clear."

I couldn't help myself – I laughed. "Adrian, what would we say? 'Hey, I'm a witch, and I know that my sister is at Re-education in LA, though there aren't any Alchemist bases there, so please go to this address and see if the area is clear?' They would send us to an asylum, that's for sure, but they don't even know about the existence of Re-education centres!"

Adrian pouted. "My plan is good, Sage, thank you for believing in it. Lissa knows that you're a witch, and nobody would question her wishes." He raised an eyebrow, as if challenging me to contradict him.

I rolled my eyes. "No. We're going to do this my way, and my suggestion is that we call Eddie – Jill needs her guardians – and that we go and save her ourselves. I'm a witch, Adrian. I can take down a couple of humans."

Adrian pouted again. "So you and Eddie will fight, and what will I do? Grab a popcorn and watch?"

I shook my head. God, he made me giggle again. "Since I know I can't make you stay here, you're going to be our nurse – if someone hurts us, you'll heal us. And if you can compel someone, you're free to do it. Okay?"

I was actually feeling very uncomfortable and afraid because spirit and the aftereffects of using it were very dangerous. I didn't say anything about the way Adrian looked yesterday and the day before that – the drunk Adrian that reminded me of the time before we fell in love with each other. I didn't say anything about it because I knew it'd just make him feel sad and useless, and he told me he wanted to be strong.

Adrian was strong. And I did believe in him.

I found myself wondering if my powers were enough. Would my bracelets and necklaces do the thing? Would they save my sister? Would the spells I knew work, or would my mind block when it was time? Would I be able to hurt my father, to hurt Marcus, now that I knew he was my brother? Would I be able to get there in time?

And was my knowledge enough? Would my skills as a witch be enough to help us all? Would there be too many of them?

Adrian brought me back to reality. I knew he knew what I was thinking about because he was studying my aura, and he could decipher anything from it. "What's wrong?" he said, taking my hands in his.

I gulped, not wanting to talk about the things I was unsure of. There was something Adrian had to teach me, something that made me feel uncomfortable and I decided to tell him, just to get his mind away from my doubts. "Adrian, I need help," I said lamely. "I found advanced spells that include making people see things that aren't real, compelling and so. I don't know how to do those things."

Adrian raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know those things were necessary – I thought fireballs, shards, bowls of water and crazy mirrors were more your style."

I thought Adrian was just kidding with me, so I rolled my eyes. "Well, I just found them and I thought…"

Adrian cut me off, the smirk gone from his face. "That you'd rather compel and heal, so that I'm not in the danger of breaking like a piece of china and going crazy?"

I gasped. "No, Adrian, it's not that!" I said in a loud voice. "I wasn't even thinking about that! How can you even think something like that?"

Then I did an internal interrogation. Why were spells for compelling and messing with someone's mind in general so interesting for me? Was it because I really needed them, or because I wanted to help Adrian and take the darkness away from him?

But I knew how he'd react. He'd feel useless and hurt and like he isn't unique – my magic could be the substitute for his powers, now that I mentioned it.

But that wasn't my initial intention! Or was it?

In reality, it was, and I was selfish. I wanted Adrian to stay healthy and normal, and my subconsciousness was trying to protect him.

Yeah, every time Adrian tried to protect me I was so, so happy.

Adrian was waiting for me to finish with the thinking process. His arms were crossed on his chest and one of his eyebrows were raised.

I sighed. "Okay, I was trying to protect you, but not because I think you're just a crazy guy," I said, defending my pride. "It's because I love you."

Adrian opened his mouth to say something, then stopped himself. "Damn it," he said in a low voice, "I can't even fight with you when you say that."

I grinned. "It was my evil plan since the beginning."

Adrian shifted closer to me, leaning into my face. "I love your evil plans," he said and brushed his lips with mine.

As soon as he touched me, an image of Zoe and Keith looming above her showed up in my head and I moved away. "Zoe," I whispered, shaking my head.

Adrian nodded. I loved how he understood why I was feeling like this, without me even having to say anything. If Adrian and I weren't right for each other, then I didn't know who was.

Just like we agreed, the whole gang was waiting for us at Clarence's. We didn't have to make any more excuses, since Zoe wasn't there to hear them end everyone else was aware of the fact that Adrian and I were in a relationship. The thought made tears form in my eyes again.

A half-cheerful Jill greeted us in the doorway and a whole silent drama was waiting in the living room. Angeline was pacing the room, talking on her mobile phone, Neil was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands, and Eddie was doing something that was looking like staring down.

Neil was ignoring him. As soon as he saw me enter, he stood up. "Miss Sydney," he started, "You have no idea how sorry I am…"

Eddie didn't move his eyes from Neil as he interrupted. "He's the worst guardian ever," he said and Neil finally looked at him.

"I don't think you have the right to say anything – you actually lost the princess once," he said angrily.

Eddie didn't say anything. Watching him stare Neil down was as if he was mentally punching him over and over.

"You lost the girl while you were on duty, and you don't even feel guilty," he said, never moving his eyes. I've never seen Eddie so… terrifyingly calm.

Neil threw his arms up in exasperation. "I'm not feeling guilty? I'm _in love _with her! How could I not feel guilty when her father wants to drill her brain and make her a robot or something? Of course I feel guilty!" he shouted.

Angeline stopped talking mid-sentence. Eddie raised an eyebrow. I gasped. Adrian chuckled, and he was obviously the only one not shocked by this announcement. "So I was right, after all," he said, mostly to himself. "He'd never admit he loved her in front of other men if it wasn't true," he added when he saw me look weirdly at him.

Eddie shook his head, turning away. "That's even worse, then – you can't even protect someone you care about! How would you protect someone you didn't even know?"

Neil rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. "Miss Sage, would you tell us your plan of rescuing Zoe? I'm not sure how long we have until her father does something to her."

I nodded, suddenly feeling nervous. "Well, since I know Jared's expecting me and Zoe is in LA, we're going to get in there and… get her out." All thoughts and plans I had suddenly turned into a single sentence that didn't sound like a plan, but like a prediction. And a very cheap one, at that.

"That's your great plan?" Angeline said first, then put her phone on her ear, "Baby, you don't need to come. Sydney's gone crazy and she still hadn't called FBI."

Neil was watching me with a strange look, as if he was expecting for me to say something else.

Even Eddie looked uncertain and I didn't plan him – it wasn't like my plan was something smart, wise and fantastic. It was the best we had, though, so they'd have to change their opinions pretty soon.

I turned towards Adrian, just to see Jill enter the living room – she and Adrian were both wearing the same angry expression. "Will you give her a break?" Jill said in a high-pitched voice, "I'd like to see you think of something better. Come on, step forward with your major plans. Sydney actually found the location of her sister, and you're all standing there and demanding answers instead of going and rescuing her."

"But-" Eddie started. Jill cut him off.

"No buts, Edison Castile," she said angrily, sounding like some old teacher, "You saved me from those uncivilized Warriors. Now go and save Zoe from the modern inquisitors."

Eddie looked as if he might add something, but he just closed his eyes and nodded. It was amazing, how small and fragile Jill had the power over the strong guardian Eddie.

"Okay, so this is the plan," Eddie said as he started pacing the room while Angeline whispered something on her phone. "We drive to LA, we go to the location where Zoe's being held; Neil, Angeline and I go in and find her, and we come back."

Jill, Adrian, Angeline and I shook our heads. "I'm going, too," Jill said, while Adrian said, "You need me to compel the guards," and while Angeline said, "I need to stay with Trey and Jill."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Will you stop sounding like crazy chickens?" he said, making us all laugh.

"I wasn't done. Angeline, Trey and Jill are going too, but they won't fight directly. I'll discuss the details with Sydney, but I don't think Moroi should go with us." The last part was directed to Adrian, and it made him sigh in exasperation.

"Listen to me now, Castile," he said, raising a finger in front of him, "Zoe is my responsibility too, and she's Sydney's sister. If Sydney's going, I'm going to and you can't do anything about it. I don't care what badass plans you have – I'm going and that's a fact. If you don't like it, know that I don't care."

Eddie rolled his eyes again, knowing how important this was for Adrian, yet it seemed like nothing out of ordinary for him. "But what will you do with Jill and Trey?" Angeline asked.

"Since I need you to fight with us, Trey can guard Jill somewhere. LA's a big town – they couldn't possibly find her there."

I shook my head. "I don't think it's safe for Jill to go with us," I said honestly. The thought alone was making me feel uneasy.

"Hmm," Angeline said, looking as if she was deep in thought. "Eddie might be right in this case. If Jill stays in Palm Springs with Trey, she'll be an easy target – an unprotected Moroi princess? I mean, hello! Plus, Trey's father is coming back in a few days and Trey won't be able to protect her. And LA isn't _that_ far."

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Adrian said, "but you're right."

Angeline simply grinned, but I put my hands up in front of me. "I don't think it's a good plan. Having Jill five minutes away from the Alchemists – who, by the way, wanted to kill her once and who gave her location away to Warrior – is very dangerous. And Angeline, please don't be insulted by this, but Trey isn't the best guardian in the world for Jill. Zoe is my sister, but we can't compromise the mission because of her."

"Perhaps their plan was to bait us all away and leave Jill on the golden plate for them to kill her. Perhaps they wanted to do this the whole time, like a plan B or something," Neil said, making me ask myself if it really was true. My father was always the planner, the one who thought things through and who always had a plan.

Everyone was looking at me. Neil skeptic, Angeline with narrowed eyes, Eddie hopeful, Jill excited and Adrian protective.

I sighed. "Okay, we'll all go, but I have no idea how I'm going to explain it to Amberwood."

But in reality, I knew we probably wouldn't ever come back.


	79. Chapter 20, part two: Believe

**Author's note:**_ Guys, I have no idea how much I'll be able to write - two exams tomorrow and a singing rehearsal :(_

_1. __**TheHappylol**__: Oh, my popcorn Angeline! *hugs you back* And you're in love with Zeil now? That's unexpected :D Love you too, and thank you for another caps-lock review! :D_

_2. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Jem! (do I need to comment further?)_

_3. __**happygirl0987**__: Thank you, thank you! :)_

_4. __**bukwurm13**__: We're making a panel for English class in which we're going to plan (imagine) how to spend a gap year – I'm definitely going to put myself in SA! It's actually the only place I really want to visit :) Ah, my mom and dad both know how to be strict, but since I'm the youngest in the house everyone tend to be gentle and kind towards me – I'm, like, the lab rat for them to watch how it's changing through the years :D Ah, I know, I just don't have enough time to write a real chapter! I know the study thing, I'm supposed to study chemistry ;D Yeah, TFH trailer: you may start squealing (it's not out yet, but the photos are!) And ah, I still don't have time to reply :( Thank you and love you!_

_5. __**sheerio4ever**__: Oh come on, no problem. And do you call buying money for your phone "credit" too? It's so funny :D Oh my God, the literature is starting to affect me! No! :D Oh my God, you're lucky. I have rehearsals all weekend, and I might get Monday off. And I'm starting to realize I'm going to have so, so much to read when I finally sit down and have time to actually do something. Love you, and thank you! :)_

_And don't forget – I'm moving back on Monday, inshaAllah! :D _

_Just a quick one – after watching videos and videos of Danilla Kozlovsky, after seeing those awesome pictures on PTA official, I'm declaring myself officially in love with him. *starts screaming because he's just so, so, so HOT!*_

_Love you all!_

_These characters belong to Richelle Mead._

Jillian Mastrano goes to fight the Alchemists in a blue dress, explaining it by saying water is blue. Adrian Ivashkov goes to fight the Alchemists in a green shirt and black trousers, saying it matches his eyes.

Trey Juarez goes to defend the royal Moroi princess wearing sunglasses, a sword and a backpack full of food. "A Warrior's got to eat," is his explanation. Angeline Dawes goes half-naked, hoping to charm her way past all Alchemists. She might actually succeed in it.

Sydney Sage goes to fight the Alchemists like a madwoman with at least twenty necklaces and bracelets, in simple beige trousers and a white shirt. She's trying to cover up as much of her witchy items with long sleeves and her long, blonde hair. She doesn't quite manage it.

Neil Raymonds goes to fight for the girl he loves wearing an indigo tuxedo and a hat. Perhaps it's a British thing, perhaps he just wants to look nice for Zoe.

And Edison Castile… is invisible. You wouldn't notice him in a dark alley, because he's wearing black clothes, his eyes are dark brown and his hair is not too memorable, like Adrian's. He goes to fight the Alchemists in his regular guardian attire, and his duster is probably the consequence of Dimitri's influence.

And then they all put their stakes, guns and knives in their clothes. It proved to be the hardest for Angeline, since she didn't have a place to put her weapons – half of it ended up in her boots, and the other half ended in the jacket Trey gave to her. I doubted she would've taken anything else, from anyone else.

"Let me take care of everything," Eddie said and disappeared somewhere. Since there was seven of us, we had to take two cars. I was silently praying to God not to let anyone do anything bad to the Ivashkinator, my baby. I wouldn't be able to bear if anything happened to the car.

"What's wrong?" Adrian said in a low voice from behind me. We were all waiting for Eddie and the "secret business" he had to take care of. Well, I trusted Eddie, so I didn't worry about anything. I was just worrying about time.

I sighed, turning around to face Adrian. Neil went out to "get some air," so only Jill and Angeline were watching us. Trey was supposed to come here in ten minutes, and Zoe was kidnapped, so nobody would stop us or be disgusted if we decided to kiss here. We had time to be all fluffy and romantic, though I didn't feel like it. My heart was beating in the rhythm: _Zoe, Zoe, Zoe._

"I need to prepare myself for everything," I whispered. "I need to be prepared to lose my sister, to lose you, to lose everything. I'm not prepared. I know that this is a suicide mission and that Zoe is probably God know where…" my voice broke, and I closed my eyes, but the image of Zoe being tortured in all kinds of ways kept running through my head.

Of course, Adrian knew it all – it was as if he could read my mind sometimes. With his arms around me, I felt stronger. New thoughts, such as _perhaps dad's bluffing_ or _perhaps they hadn't done anything to her yet_ appeared as soon as he touched me, and I leaned into his embrace, hoping the bad thoughts would go away.

But no. I didn't live in dreams. Zoe was being tortured – mentally or physically, I didn't know – somewhere. That was a fact, and nothing could make me believe differently.

My little sister. My little sister in the arms of Keith.

Keith, the guy that destroyed my older sister's life. Cutting one of his eyes wasn't enough of a punishment. I should've…

"She's okay," Adrian interrupted my internal monologue. "Don't worry about Zoe. Your dad won't hurt her – she's just the bait. She's not the one he wants, the one he hates, the one that's strong. He knows Zoe could be broken within a moment – he'll probably just make her cry by jelling at her and that's it."

"Why do you have to make everything sound so simple and so _believable_?" I said, feeling myself smile. The most complicated situations became ridiculous when Adrian talked about them.

I didn't see him, but I knew he was grinning. "You're forgetting I'm Adrian Ivashkov," he said, finally making me giggle.

"I really hope you're right," I whispered and sighed. "I really hope she's okay."

Adrian leaned back to look at me – he was still impossibly close, and he tilted my chin upwards. "I know you're going to try to trade yourself for her," he said seriously, his green eyes blazing with emerald fire. "But I know another thing, too – I'm not going to let you."

I closed my eyes. If dad asked me to give myself up for her safety, would I do it?

My heart didn't hesitate. _Yes_, it immediately whispered. I'd do anything – hopeless, crazy, irrational or bad, for my sisters. And Adrian, of course. I'd do anything for them, without thinking.

"If he tries to hurt her, Adrian…" I started warily, but he cut me off.

"No. I know it's going to sound harsh, but you're more important to me than Zoe. You need to trust me just this one single time – Zoe is safe, no matter how impossible it sounds. Jared won't hurt her. But you…" he put his palm over his eyes. "I don't even want to think about all the things he'd do to you if he got his hands on you."

Without me thinking about anything except for his eyes, my hand started moving. It touched his arms, his chest, his neck, his lips, and it came to a rest on his cheek. "Don't worry about me," I whispered. "I'm a witch, Adrian. I can take Jared, and everyone else who try to hurt me."

Adrian smiled then – it was that sad smile you see on people when a child believes in something hopeless. It made him look even more handsome than before. "You wouldn't hurt him," he said. "You wouldn't hit him with a fireball or shards, or stones or anything. You'd just let him take you away, because he's your father. You'd hesitate. I can't…" he stopped, closing his eyes for a moment. "I can't allow something like that. I can't allow you to feel anything. I just want to…"

I shook my head, desperately trying not to believe in what Adrian said. But would he ever lie to me? Would he ever want to make me feel how I felt now – lost, alone, scared? No. My Adrian knew how I felt and what I thought about – it was visible how much effort it took for him to even say this to me. But this was the crucial moment, right? Perhaps we were really all going to die when we got there. Perhaps this really was some kind of "goodbye" or what Spartan women said to their men when they went to battle. We both had to be honest.

So I tried being honest to myself.

Could I hurt my dad? My own flesh and blood? An image of Jared Sage appeared in my eye. He ruined my childhood, my whole life in some spheres, he introduced me to the world of vampires, and somehow, he was the one because of who I met Adrian.

Underneath all the torture and restrictions, I realized I still loved him. I wanted to please him, to make him believe in me, to make him be proud of me. Was that how all daughters felt? Adrian felt that way towards his father, Nathan, too, so this was kind of normal?

Even if my father hated me? Even if he wanted to torture and kill me?

"You'll keep me safe," I settled on saying, and I realized our faces were inches apart now. I needed to kiss him, to feel him close, to feel like I was his for the last time.

So I closed the distance and allowed myself the goodbye-kiss, if Jared really managed to succeed and take me away from him.

Adrian deserved this, and so much more from me. He deserved all the things I didn't have, and he still loved me and cared for me more than for himself.

So I kissed him as if we were going to die. Adrian was a bit surprised at first, probably still trying to refrain himself because of me and the Zoe-being-kidnapped-thing, but when he responded, I was sure I was going to end up either on the floor, or pressed up a wall.

Both options were equally attractive.

And then someone cleared his throat. Probably because Adrian's hands were starting to roam down my sides and I was trying to unbutton his shirt.

"Um, guys, I think you need to move into an empty room or something," I heard Trey say awkwardly and Adrian and I both turned around to look at him, still holding each other.

Trey was standing and looking at us, his hand on the back of his neck and Angeline was looking at him, grinning. Jill was giggling and looking at Adrian knowingly, which immediately made me blush.

"Learn, baby," Angeline said dead-serious, and we all laughed.

Trey blushed. Was he embarrassed, or was this situation just too awkward? I mean, it was so easy to forget everything and everyone when I was with Adrian. I didn't even know where we were, much less who was in the room.

Jill's face suddenly lightened – she was looking towards the open door, and she smiled.

Eddie's expression was mirroring hers, while he entered the room. His eyes searched through the room, passing Trey and Angeline, resting on Jill for a moment later than they should've been, and then passing through Adrian and coming to a rest in front of me.

"Sydney," he breathed, coming closer, "We'll have support. Lissa allowed Rose and Dimitri to come – just this one time."

And then the euphoria ended – something in my stomach twisted as I remembered Zoe, the Alchemists, Jared and all other things that were waiting for us in the outside world.

But everyone believed in success – their expressions confirmed it.

Could I believe, too?


	80. Chapter 20, part three: Concluding

**Author's note:**_ Good evening, everyone! A lot of reviews, a lot of rehearsals, a successful math exam, a happy day indeed. I don't have time to answer your reviews (it's 1 AM), but I'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow is the cleaning day, and I should be able to move back by Monday! :D_

_Love you all!_

_These characters belong to Richelle Mead._

"Now, I think it's time to finally go," Angeline said in an annoyed voice. We were all kind of annoyed while waiting for Rose and Dimitri for more than an hour and a half. Angeline probably just wanted to do something other than sit and wait – and make out on the floor, in her case – but Rose and Dimitri were here now, and I felt safer with them.

And so we started the cars and drove off, with me holding the cross around my neck tightly. It represented my faith, God always being with me, but it represented Adrian, too, and everything our relationship meant. Adrian wasn't evil – not when he gave me such a holy object that surely held a part of his soul.

Jill was positioned in the car full of guardians – Eddie driving, Neil shotgun, Angeline and Trey on either side of her. Rose and Dimitri didn't complain when Adrian decided he was driving and I was sitting next to him. I wasn't feeling comfortable because _it was the Ivashkinator, the most special car in the universe_, and because I didn't want Rose to conclude anything that'd connect Adrian and me in any way.

The silence didn't last, unfortunately. "So," Rose began slowly and I caught her narrowed eyes in the rearview mirror, "What's the mission?"

Adrian spoke up before I had the chance. "We go in a building full of crazy Alchemists and get Zoe out. Then we drive off and prepare for Jared and the sadistic plans he has for Sydney."

"And what do you have to do with any of that?" Rose asked in a harsh voice. "Don't get me wrong, but you're not a guardian, a fighter, or of any use in this case."

I heard Dimitri whisper, "Roza," and I saw Adrian's hand curl up into a fist on the wheel. Oh my, this wasn't going to end good.

"Rose, I…" I tried, knowing I had nothing to say, but thinking only about how hurt Adrian was in this moments. Nobody had the right to call him useless. "I need his help with… things."

Adrian looked at me with a frown. My plan was _obviously_ working. I shook my head. "He's not useless. He can help in many ways. If only you tried to see things from another perspective…"

Rose cut me off. "You think I'm not picking up on the strange atmosphere in this car? There's something going on, and you're just confirming it with your speech."

"Rose, could you just leave it alone for a moment?" Dimitri snapped. "You're so caught up in thinking about Adrian's life that you forgot you had your own."

I put my head in my hands. This definitely wasn't good – now Dimitri was acting (or possibly being) jealous in trying to protect us.

"Stop it, Dimitri," Rose answered. "We both know this isn't about Adrian."

"Then what is it about?" Dimitri answered. He really was a good actor, I realized, or it was just the fact that he rarely showed his emotions that shocked me.

"It's about me not knowing something important," Rose answered. "Sydney's protecting Adrian, Adrian's protecting Sydney, they're both claiming the other one's perfect, he goes on missions to save her sister even though he has nothing to do with it, she's dealing with his problems, they're opposite races but they're still managing to be friends – not to mention the fact that he's drunk most of the time and that she never even had a boyfriend before Jet…"

Rose suddenly stopped talking, making us all turn to look at her. Her eyes were wide open and she was looking at the gear shift. Adrian and I both turned our gazes down, to my hand that was resting on top of his.

I had no idea my hand did that.

"Are you guys together?" Rose asked in a high-pitched near-whisper.

I noticed that the car stopped, and that Dimitri was the only person in the car that wasn't looking terrified. He put his hands in Rose's, saying, "Rose, listen, you need to accept the fact that they're-"

But he was stopped by a piercing sound. Adrian's phone.

"Hello?" Adrian answered with a frown after a moment, and after another one he nodded and put the phone away from his ear.

"It's Jailbait," he said in a low voice. "She told me to put her on speakerphone."

What did Jill want now? Was everything okay? My attention was moved from the car in front of us to Rose and her conclusions. And yeah, I was trying to calculate how long I had before she killed me. Or she'd kill Adrian first.

Fortunately, Jill ended my Adrian's-sarcasm-moment. "Rose, Dimitri, Sydney, Adrian, I need to tell you all something," she said in a very strange voice.

But where was she going with this? When I looked at Adrian, I saw some kind of understanding in his eyes. That meant it had something to do with the bond, which meant the bond was working.

Which meant Jill knew about Rose and was trying to save us by saying something shocking. But what?

"Eddie and I are in a relationship," she said finally, making me shut my eyes tightly.

Oh Jill, why did she have to say that? She only made it worse. Now Rose was going to kill us all.

"What?" Rose shouted.

Dimitri shushed her, and as I turned to watch them I saw Rose turn towards him. "But Dimka," she said in a furious tone, "how can you be so calm? First I find out a vampire and a… a human are in a relationship, and then Jill! She's fifteen, for the God's sake! How can you all be so calm?"

Dimitri didn't say anything; he just pulled her hair behind her ear and smiled. While he was probably thinking her behavior was cute, I was trying to focus on anything except on it.

I had no idea when and why I started being afraid of Rose.

As if he could read my thoughts, Adrian brushed one of his fingers over my hand. It was a simple, almost invisible gesture, but it made me feel calmer. I was so nervous because this whole situation was so wrong – we were on a mission to save Jill and _now_ we had to reveal our love lives to Rose?

Jill was the first one to respond to Rose's words. "I'm almost sixteen, if it means anything," she said through a gentle laugh. "And believe me, Eddie is treating me as if I'm twelve. He won't even kiss me properly."

"So I managed to influence Castile, after all," Adrian said proudly, making me roll my eyes and smile.

But that was the wrong thing to do. Rose focused her gaze on us again and on those intertwined hands on the gear shift. Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to remove my hand from his. It'd feel like being embarrassed of our relationship, and that I was not.

"So?" Jill continued, obviously trying to make Rose forget about Adrian and me, "Are you just going to sit there and be jealous or you'll congratulate us all?"

Or she was trying to get us all killed. Rose started screaming again. "Jealous? You think I'm jealous? I'm…" she stopped for a second, then shook her head, "Disgusted."

I gasped. I definitely wasn't expecting something like that from Rose – I mean, didn't her relationship disgust some people, too? And wouldn't she, the rebel, the furious fearless girl, be qualified to understand us all? Jill and Eddie's age difference and Adrian and my race difference? Was it really so bad?

"Rose, you can't…" I tried, then closed my mouth. I didn't want to fight Rose. It was just her initial reaction.

"We should solve certain things first, and then move onto others," Dimitri said reasonably. "Now Roza, tell me why you have a problem with Jill and Eddie being together."

I didn't see Rose, but I imagined her with an angry expression. "You know these things, Dimitri," she said with a sigh. "He's her guardian, she's underage, she's a Moroi, she's the princess and that could cause a lot of problems. You know what Lissa said about Jill and men. There are laws, laws a teenage romance can't break."

Now Jill was the one that gasped. "But- Rose- That's not-" she tried, then said, "I didn't expect something like that from you. You fell in love with your teacher, after all."

"But at least he's a dhampir, and not a Moroi," Rose said, disgust evident in her voice.

"I didn't hear you complain while Dimitri was among the bad guys," Adrian said bitterly. "I don't understand, Rose. I really don't. So now you're not going to support Jill and Eddie just because Lissa says so, even though it's wrong? Now you're not going to do what is right just because you're guarding her? And you're going to tell us it's Jill's fault because she's suddenly the princess? I thought you were loyal, and honest."

Now Rose gasped, while Jill said, "Adrian, it's okay, you shouldn't have defended me," and while Dimitri said, "You could start driving instead of lecturing us."

A silence stretched while Adrian started the engine. Jill was still on speakerphone, but she was silent.

"Congratulations," Rose said in a very silent voice. "I still don't support your relationship because Eddie is so much older than you, but I guess I can understand the rest. I never respect rules myself, so why should you?" She shook her head, then continued. "I still think Lissa will be pissed off if she finds out. She's trying so hard to keep good relations with the Royal Council, just to find out that her sister is breaking rules."

"Thank you," Jill breathed.

"Now shut the phone off, Adrian," Rose continued in a completely different voice. "I need to talk to you. _Both of you_."

Adrian pressed the red button and then said, "You realize she's in my head right now?"

"I know. It was just weird – knowing she was really listening to what I have to say."

I turned towards Rose, not sure if she was going to send us to hell, kill us or simply say she was disgusted.

But the fire in her eyes made me doubt things. "So, Sydney," she said in a playful voice I didn't like, "tell me about you and Adrian."

So logically, I started the story with a man, a cigarette, and a girl he thought was trying to sell him something.


	81. Another Author's Note

**Author's note:**_ Hey guys, I hope you won't be too mad and stop reading the story because of another break. I'm moving back today and tomorrow (I've been cleaning the apartment's floor and windows the whole day), so I hope I'll be writing from the apartment tomorrow. There are some things that aren't done yet, but I'm fully focused on moving back now and I'm so, so tired. I really hope you'll all understand, I know the last two or three chapters weren't much of anything, but know that I've really been trying and it's going to be a lot easier from now on. I love you all, and I'm sorry._


	82. Chapter 21, part one: To Make You Smile

**Author's note:**_ Oh, hello guys. It's been a while, and I really tried to finish everything I had to do (the Latin exam is tomorrow, but I don't care, I have to write!) and I'm so sorry because the last few days were crazy, what with the moving back and everything. It's not over yet, but the computer is online and now I can finally answer your reviews properly. Since this story is so close to its end, I'm going to continue answering your reviews via A/Ns, but the other story (and stories, in the future) will be more normal, with no long author's notes. _

_900th reviewer is Rebelde09, but since she already got a one-shot, and everyone around 900 have their one-shots (TheHappyLol, Totalbooknerd13, sheerio4ever...), I'm going to ask __**rainy**__ to send me her request via PM or a review. :)_

_Now onto my fellow reviewers:_

_ 1_**_. Rebelde09: _**_So many reviews! Yup, I'm a teenager in high school and I'm also fangirling :D Eddie is supposed to be as old as Sydney (around 19) :D Oh God for the hangovers. I'll say it again – I never tasted alcohol, and according to what I read about it, I won't even try, ever! :D I'm glad you enjoyed Sydrian :) Did you like it, did you like it_? _Rose learning the truth about Sydrian_? _Yay, you did! But the drama is just going to happen now! ;D _

**_2. TheHappyLol: _**_Three reviews per chapter, Angeline :P Gimme that popcorn! Yup, Eddie with a duster made me laugh too :D And ah, you love everyone :P And then you logged in! Oh no Angeline, don't die! Live until the end of this chapter (and story), please! At least until then ! I love how I can make you laugh in two seconds :P_

**_3. sheerio4ever: _**_My reaction too! __"A suit, Ehlimana_?_ Really_?" _Thank you so much for wishing me good luck, I'll be getting the results tomorrow! :D Hahahah, Rose it's your bed time! I love the phrase! :D Ahh, I'm so sorry for disappointing you! :( _

_4. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: I tried to read Clockwork Princess's end yesterday *sobs* and I didn't manage to do it *another sob* When someone says "Jem," I answer, "Don't say his name, you heretic! He is a holy institution for me!" I mean, with all regards to beautiful Will, Jem is just so many times more handsome. Now let me go away and cry. _

_5. __**thehappygirl0987**__: Awww, thank you for supporting me! I know! But someone had to do something, right_?

_6. __**Mabes123**__: I'm so sorry for the suspense. Thank you for your lovely words! :) _

_7. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: You're right to be excited ;D_

_8. __**IvashkovMehLuv**__: No problem. You had dance auditions, I had singing rehearsals... it's okay, the important thing is that you're here now! :) Oh, I'm sorry for confusing you then! It really wasn't my intention. Yes, the thing with that girl saying, "Jet! There's a saleswoman here!" was so, so funny! :D_

_9. __**HopperIvashkinator: **__Oh sis, you and your kilometer-long reviews! ;D Ah, I'm so frustrated because of the Latin exam and all that I don't know what to do with myself. Jill got „hmm" from you, yay! :D And pff, I didn't do Latin better than you (that's a definite thing). My sis, worrying about everything. I think it's funny too – Keith just keeps getting beaten up! :D And according to Angeline, Adrian "not looking well" is "so damn hooooooooooot!" while "looking well" would be *dies because he's just so hot* I'm not more talented than Richelle, sis! *blushing* I'm worried for Zoe too, I have no idea what I'm going to write. Thank you so much, sis, I hope I'll write that book I told you about one day! Oh my God, did you just say JILL IS A BETTER PERSON_? _I'm dreaming! How did I manage to make you like Jill, you wanted to burn her! :D That with the clothes was a funny moment in which I told myself – come on, now describe something. Something like, their clooothes :D And you did like that wandering hand, didn't you_? _ You devil ;D Love you, sister. Always.  
_

_10. __**rainy**__: Thank you so much for your compassion and even being interested. You know, all I do in my life, I do for those I love and sitting in a Physics class I don't like for two years won't be a problem for me if it means helping my loved ones. That's why I'm so ambitious :D And I know, I'm still crazy about the global warming, trying to reduce the electricity spending and all! :D Believe me, I know how you feel. I mean, look at me! Nobody who knows me could even guess what I'm doing here! I'd really like to read your stories, if you'd let me. I love learning things from people that claim they're regular – they write the most extraordinary things. You're not boring me, I read your review on the day you wrote it and I wanted to answer it immediately. Yeah, nobody except Eddie even cares about Jill's safety anymore (though she's still supposed to be guarded, seeing she's a princess and all) :D I know, I want Rose to be supportive too. Don't worry, I'll keep writing! :D Thank you for your understanding! :) _

_11. __**Gg**__: Thank you! I'm really glad you liked this :) _

_12. __**bukwurm13**__: It's not fair – my friend didn't let me put Capetown, but we did put some really funny things and Photoshopped images :D When I come to Capetown, you're going to be there and suggest me a hotel and take me around! The sad fact is, it's going to happen in 10 years, probably. Unless I find a rich husband. Jill is so cute, right_? _:D Thank you for giving me the strongs! Believe me, the move is very stressful :( _

_13. __**Sam1405**__: I owed you this situation, I really did. Half of my one-shot requests were about it, and in one moment I just said to myself, "Okay, you're going to write that scene for real now." :D Rose is kind of a bad, annoying character in this story, but I hope I'll be able to make her better! It's just that, no matter how hard I try, I still remember what she did to Adrian. The ultimate betrayal! Ah. But we can't blame her, because of Dimitri. Thank you for loving this and being such a devoted reader! _

_14. __**Jess**__: Welcome, new reader and reviewer! :) Thank you sooo much! I love you too, even though I'm still reading the first review! :D Don't worry, I read 6 chapters a while ago (and I reviewed, if I remember correctly), so I don't have a lot to catch up on! :D Thank you again, I'm glad you liked Jill's POV! :) Thank you for all those words, "Mine" is special for me too. _

_15. __**Katrick**__: Sorry for the delay! I watched 38 minutes of City of Bones and... i don't like it. Perhaps when DvD version is out, I'll change my opinion. Aww, love you too! You hate boys_? _ Don't you dare! I always defend men :D Yup, I cleaned with pine cleaner. And hmm. I think Jace is hot, but he reminds me of Will (The Infernal Devices) a lot. Will, compared to Jem, is not so hot, but I have only Jace to focus on in TMI, so yes, he's hot! And if you asked me about the actor, I'm not sure. The actor is... kind of weird, not how I imagined Jace, but he isn't ugly. He passed the test, if you ask me, but I don't swoon every time I see him. _

_16. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Nic really is gorgeous. He really is. And Daisy is too – in the photos, I looked at her, and thought the same thing! She has an amazing body, but she's still curvy while Sydney's supposed to be anorexic :D Ah, you know, I don't exactly have any feelings towards her (though I did have for her sister, God have mercy on her soul, she was like a real grandma for me), but it still hurts me. I didn't believe Dimitri was turned all until Mason told her! And I was like, NO! And then Rose said "Goodbye Mason" and I started to cry. If FanFiction was there 30 years ago, my mom would be the leading fangirl! :D And I agree, it'd be so hilarious, reading all those reviews! I don't know about Neil, but we can't really know, right_? _We know basically nothing about him. But you know what the funny thing would be_?_ If Richelle thought Zeil is something unexpected, and then she sees everyone totally expected it! :D Thank you for every single word! I hope you're not disappointed after we finish the story :P I don't know, the first thing that came to me when I realized Neil was British was, "a gentleman! He must wear a suit!" I so need Zoe-Sydney bonding time too! Love you too, my wonderful British friend ;D __I want to write that one-shot, but please remind me – I don't have the paper here! :( Thank you, thank you, thank you! :)_

_ALL PEOPLE THAT READ, REVIEWED, DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING BAD, ETC. ETC.:_

_I WANT YOU TO KNOW _

_THAT I LOVE YOU ALL_

_WITH MY WHOLE SOUL_

_THAT MAKING YOU HAPPY IS MY GOAL_

_AND THAT WITHOUT YOUR LOVE I FEEL SO SMALL..._

_Okay, that was weird, but I wanted to tell you all how much I love you all!_

_I wanted to write much more, but dad said "Shut down the computer!" so we'll continue tomorrow. Hope you liked this one, it's really happy! :)_

_Oh Richelle, you better leave Adrian alive, safe and sound or else!_

I was going to marry her.

I know, I know, it's insane. But Sydney Sage was going to add up Ivashkov next to her name one day. I was going to make sure of it.

Sydney Sage-Ivashkov. That sounded badass.

Okay, back to the real reason why I wanted to marry Sydney Sage.

She managed to look at Rose without being afraid - I saw it in her aura - and she managed to tell her our story without being boring.

"And then he kissed me as if he was one of the Keepers or something," she said with a frown of disgust.

"We all know you loved it, Sage, so don't bother with pretending," I had to answer, making her blush. So she did like our first kiss after all.

"And then he... _jumped me_," she said, faking being terrified and making us all - even Rose - roll our eyes.

"And then he punched Marcus," she said in a near-whisper, "just like a Keeper would."

"I never met anyone so... _annoying_ in my whole life. Or someone so invasive. Or..."

"Gorgeous?" I tried to help, making her hit my arm.

By the time Sydney ended her analytical, direct story, Rose was smiling. Even Dimitri, the stone, was starting laughed from time to time.

"I couldn't do anything!" she whined.

"No, just go to Mexico, but that was _obviously_ out of line," Rose said.

"He manipulated me!" Sydney said with a hurt expression, making Dimitri laugh.

And then she became really serious. "If I didn't have him, I would've been at Re-education now," she whispered once and I squeezed her hand, trying to tell her that I wasn't going to let that happen. As always, she understood the phrase and brushed her finger gently on mine, as if to say, _Thank you, honey._

"He helped me see the truth," she said, her eyes shining. "If I hadn't found him, I would've been my father's puppet. And then, he was so brave when he tried to save us both from Alicia... and then Keith, my dad, everyone. He was always there for me."

By the end of her monologue, I was seriously contemplating whether to stop the car and start making out with her or move her into my lap and drive while kissing her neck. She was just so distracting with her nervous habits - the tucking of a lock of her hair behind her ear, flexing her fingers in nervous moments, biting her lower lip, blushing...

So yes, this woman here that just told my ex I was... annoying, manipulative, gorgeous, handsome, smart, brave, loyal ideal of beauty, she was going to become my wife. Not just because I wanted to get her into bed - though I did want that - but because she was just... the right girl for me. I'd never find someone who saw me for who I really was again. Never. Sydney was one of her kind. Rose took my heart and my soul, tried to find something she liked and when she didn't see anything, she just threw it to the ground. Sydney? She took my heart and my soul from the ground and healed them with her gentle hands, kisses and attention. If I'd never met her, I would've been in LA with some Moroi one-night-romance girl, that's for sure.

"...to me?" Rose said angrily.

"Huh?" I said, turning around and catching a very concerned expression from Sydney. "It's not spirit," I said in a lower tone. "I was just... thinking."

"_Thinking_?" Dimitri said, trying to mock me with his astonished expression. "Impossible."

"Hey, Russian, you don't have a right to say anything," I said, but I was smiling.

And... back to the angry dog. Or cat. A tiger, a lion, or... whatever. Rose Hathaway. I wondered if being in such a scary pose - with her hands on her hips - was hilarious, because Rose was sitting in a car.

And she was throwing me an angry look. I again compared her with Sydney mentally, and concluded the battle: Sydney was ten times more beautiful. Her beauty was in the fact that nobody knew it existed, so it belonged exclusively to me.

"I want to kick that pretty face of yours," she said in a too low voice.

"Nah," I answered confidently, grinning and trying to move my eyes back to the road. "You wouldn't ruin my pretty face."

Rose simply rolled her eyes. "So according to Sydney, you insisted on being in a relationship with her, you tortured her, attacked her like a maniac, tried to make her love you and then actually succeeded? How is this possible?" she said, leaning back so that her back was touching the seat or, more specifically, Belikov's chest.

I glanced at her again. "I'm irresistible," I said in a crazy voice and Sydney giggled.

"Yeah, right, and I was the one who made you kiss me a thousand times," she said.

"So, Rose?" I continued, not wanting to think about my proposal for at least a moment. It was a growing idea and since I knew I was crazy, I believed I could actually do it.

Rose sighed. "I don't know. I'm... speechless," she said, making Dimitri laugh.

"I didn't believe I'd ever hear this," he said, obviously in awe. I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw the two exchange a passionate look. A weird thought occurred to me - a long time ago, seeing something like that would've killed me. Now? Now I was happy for them. Seeing another side of Dimitri, a side that wasn't as cold as a stone, was a beautiful thing. And Rose speechless... it was a dream come true.

A hand touched me. My hand, to be specific. I turned and saw Sydney look at me, her aura providing the information - she was trying to be compassionate because she thought seeing Rose and Dimitri interact like that - he was whispering "You never fail to amaze me, Roza," though Sydney wasn't able to hear it - and the gesture made me smile.

I was driving, but I didn't care anymore. I leaned forward to whisper, "I love you," in her ear. I could literally see goosebumps appear on her skin. Sydney closed her eyes and found my hand with hers, intertwining our fingers.

"You have no idea how much," she whispered ever so gently and now I felt goosebumps appear on my arms. Damn it, she was making me react like a boy, instead of like a man.

I was going to marry her.

I turned my eyes back on the road and caught Rose's eyes in the mirror. She was grinning.

Damn dhampir hearing.

"I'm going to say something now," Rose said in a playful voice. "And I'm not joking this time."

I nodded. "Spit it out, Rose."

"I think you're actually good for each other," she said in a low - almost embarrassed - voice. "I mean, I never saw any of you act... like that, but I'm pretty sure you're both happy. Just look at you and your hands! And Sydney's blushing like a bride! And Adrian... your smile, it's so beautiful! If I didn't have the most gorgeous man in the world right here next to me, I'd do anything to make you smile like that."

We all laughed at that. "A good thing you have Dimitri, then," Sydney murmured and it just made me laugh harder.

Oh, Sydney, not being able to survive Rose's jokes. She was such a jealous, insecure person.

And she was mine - the whole package, crazy psycho dad and all.


	83. Chapter 21, part two: A Prisoner

**Author's note: **_Hello, people! I'm not sure for how long I'll be able to write, but many things are going to happen soon - so be excited! :D_

_1. **TheHappyLol**: Yeah, I surprised you all there, right__?_ Because basically, Rose is wiser now and she should be able to see things from other perspectives too. I did the jealous-girl-part for too long, and I just had the feeling it was time for Rose to change. Ahhhhh, Pain And Torment! I am sooo excited, you better write it as soon as possible! And save the file, if your computer shuts down! ;D Thank you for everything :)

_2. **sheerio4ever**: Ahh, my fanclub (consists of... five people__?_) :D And don't worry, I already told you there'd be a big epilogue in which I'd solve the whole situation - I might drag it a bit, because November will still be a lot of days away by the time I'm finished with the actual book! :D You updated_?__?_ Ahhhh, I need to sit down for 10 minutes and actually start reading things. I survived PE too *gimme a high five* And oh for the same name :( I actually know only three girls named Ehlimana, so I don't have that problem! ;D Yeah, good old times when I had a whole day to write three one-shots, two TFH chapters and still have time to eat, sleep, relax, watch football... and talk with at least 10 people! *hugs you and gives you chocolate* I need to put on some weight and then feel bad. *sobs* Love you!

_3. **Gg**: Thank you so much for reviewing! There won't be a lot actual Sydrian in the next chapters (I will develop the plot), but there will be some Sydrian-ish things. Hope it's enough! :)_

_4. **happygirl0987**: Adrian is always cute! :D Thank you for faithful reviewing :)_

_5. **Percabethlvrknowsall**: I talked with my sister today and told her that TID is the best book series I've ever read. And I know, these kinds of things hurt so much, but they're just so... ahhhhhhh! I can't resist these guys! :D I'm glad we came to an understanding. Thank you, my fellow friend! :D_

_6. **rainy**: *bows* Thank you so much for those words. Take your time with your stories, but remember that I'm very interested in them, and excited! :D Good luck with all those exams, I kind of know how you feel - it's crazy over here, and plus I don't like the grade I'm in, so it's awful. But it'll get better with me getting used to it! Thank you so much for listening to me and valuing my work :)_

_7. **DoughnutsForever**: I know, Daisy really is beautiful, but doesn't physically fit the role, you know__?_ And thank you so much for your support on that matter. She's in another country, so mom can just shut that part out and let her mind wander to her real life here. Her mom is actually the only thing tying her to her childhood, so of course it's hard but we'll get through it together. :) I wondered about that too because a day passed and when Rose came, she didn't find Dimitri there. So I was like, But where did he go_?_ And this is my theory. So when he got turned, he got some kind of a super speed or some Twilight-Edward Cullen- vampire thing, and he was able to travel to a Strigoi nest somewhere in USA. From there he got to Russia the next day - via a private plane or something_?_ Or maybe he just lingered there for a while, trying to find a location in which he'd stay forever, or at least for a while. Does this even make any sense_?_ Or perhaps he didn't even go to Russia because of those letters he sent to Rose (if I remember correctly_?_), but did it later_?_ I don't know. Neil is... he makes me ask myself why Richelle put him in the story. To make Zoe change_?_ That's, like, the only logical thing. So you see, it's obvious! I'd laugh so much if we got Richelle like that :D With the number of theories we already have, it's hard to even think of something new! I keep asking myself, What if all I've written really is the truth_?_ Or if we theorize about Silver Shadows in the same way like now_?_ It'd be just cool :D Thanks for fangirling and making me laugh at 11:20 PM (believe me, it's hard when I'm getting up at 7AM :D). You're my awesome friend, dressed like Neil, sailing from UK! I'd actually like to ask you how much the shipping from UK to my country would cost, since I have no idea and I want to buy The Mortal Instruments_?_ Thank you for everything :D 

_8. **Rebelde09**: I want to know about that special someone, so PM me if it's not too personal! :D Hope this chapter didn't come too late, I'd update earlier but I had work to do :( And Jeddie__?_ Remember, Eddie pushed Jill away because of her age for a long, long time. Just because it's... well, Eddie and Jill, I approve, but otherwise I'd have some objections! Thank you, my friend. :)

_9. **Kylie**: Aww, thank you so much! That is so nice of you. I'm really glad you decided to share your opinion with me! :)_

_The bolded sentence is from an excerpt I think I already used, but I felt like the quote belonged there. Hope it's not too awful!_

_Love you all, my friends, fangirls and readers. _

_Richelle Mead owns there characters, but if you've reached this chapter, you probably already knew that. _

Good moments tend to be over too soon.

For example, a wonderful memory of being in a car with my girlfriend, my ex and her soon-to-be-husband, was going to last forever in my mind, but it was just a memory now. I never knew how good being able to hold Sydney's hand in mine in front of Rose would feel. Not being tied to her with confusing feelings anymore, or being the one that stands out. Now, among my friends, I was free and it felt wonderful.

But then awful things happened.

For example, LA wasn't what we thought it'd be. I expected it to be a simple mission. It turned out to be anything but.

Flashes of memories, like images. Stopping the car, leaving Jill with Trey in another "safe house," obviously provided by guardians. Jill hugging me and whispering, "Take care of everyone." It all went well.

Sydney, holding my hand in hers, walking beside me; Rose and Dimitri on the front, all-in-black, looking fierce as ever, and Neil, Eddie and Angeline in their funny attires on the back. In those moments, I felt invincible. I felt like I belonged, not like I was a useless Moroi.

Another flash – a building in which Zoe was supposedly held, my intuition telling me something was wrong, seeing an aura, trying to cover Sydney with my body, Eddie shouting, being hit by something.

When I felt a stinging sensation on my neck and raised my hand to touch the spot, I felt something cold and metallic.

An arrow.

The last thing I saw before I lost consciousness were Sydney's eyes, panicked, afraid, concerned, fierce, and a very strange thought occurred to me: _If I died, would I go to heaven and be able to see those eyes again?_

And then my body betrayed me – I lost focus, I lost Sydney, I lost myself in the sea of blackness.

When I woke up again, it hurt.

My head, to be more specific. It felt like… like those D - darkness days. I opened my eyes, and of course, the room was darker than it should've been. Damn it.

Now, the main problem wasn't the room's darkness, but the room in general. First of all, I had no idea where I was, and when I tried to see an aura or something, anything, I failed. My best guess was that I was in that ugly building and that there was no one close by. I hoped it was a good thing.

I was full of crazy thoughts that day – I asked myself, _Would they feed me? They knew vampires died without blood, right? Or would they simply leave me here to die?_

I shook my head, trying to stay focused.

_Stay focused, Adrian,_ I told myself. _Sydney Sage. The love of your life. You need to find her. You need to stop Jared from hurting her, because he's obviously the one who did this._

With those thoughts, I slowly started to get up and take in my surroundings – I was an artist, but I just couldn't understand why would someone paint the walls in that ugly red color. It was hard to even look at them, let alone enjoy the sight.

The room was almost empty – except for me and the rough floor, there was a single white chair in the middle of the room and a big, metallic door.

Huh. This looked like a torturing room from a movie. Was that a bad thing?

So after touching the floor, the walls, the door, turning the chair upside down and seeing that there was nothing on or in it I could use, I settled on sitting back down, leaning my back on the wall and thinking.

I asked myself if I'd feel it when Sydney died – the question was obviously spirit-induced. Then I asked myself if I could see her if she died, and I immediately shook my head. **Shadow-kissed people could see ghosts. Crazy people only imagined them.**

I knew I was heading in _The House of Happy People_ direction, but I couldn't fight it anymore. I was worried for Sydney, I didn't care about myself, I only wanted to curl up into a ball and die, because even now, I was just a burden.

Sydney had magic, and the guardians were dhampirs and they were strong. What did I have? _Nothing_, I knew. Just spirit and the problems it brought when I used it.

But then I remembered what Sydney said. She believed in me, she believed I wasn't useless. She believed my magic was beautiful, she believed it was the best part of my soul. Then how could I be bad? How could I be useless? How, if a person like her believed in the opposite thing?

So I laid on the floor, sighed and closed my eyes, remembering things. Before Palm Springs, I would've been terrified to be imprisoned in an awful red room, possibly waiting for someone to torture me. I would've been afraid that if I died, I wouldn't have a chance to ruin my father's life anymore.

Now? Now I didn't really care, in the sense of me thinking about death. Now I was just afraid because I knew that if I died, Sydney would die of sadness, or she'd mourn for a long time. And if I died, I wouldn't be able to save her from her dad, and Keith, and everyone else that wanted to destroy her.

I was tired of everything – tired of fighting the darkness, tired of being the bad guy, tired of not being loved and honored and respected. With Sydney, I had the opposite of that. She loved me, and breathed for me, and the way I felt when I thought about her and her honest feelings for me was wonderful.

But I was tired of running, and hiding, and destroying everything in trying to do the right thing.

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud sound and I sat up, seeing that the door was opening.

So I prepared myself – mentally and physically, for what was going to happen. I curled my hands into fists and I knew that if I wasn't able to defend myself, I wouldn't be able to protect Sydney.

I had to protect Sydney, in any way possible, no matter the cost.

The door revealed two men – Jared Sage, the ultimate jerk with his nose slightly positioned to the left – probably from where I broke it, and it made me smile and provoke Jared without even trying to, and Keith, the ultimate jerk number two, his face ruined by Sydney and the awfulness of his soul.

What distracted me was the fact that they were both dressed in white shirts and pants, and I wanted to ask them what was all of that whiteness about. To try becoming white from the inside too or something? Or was this simply the way the Alchemists operated in?

Then something happened. Something very, very bad.

I tried to see their auras as I backed up while they approached me with their ugly smirking faces – the door behind them already closed, so I couldn't escape that way – but I didn't succeed.

It was as if they had no auras. "Impossible," I breathed, putting my fists in front of me.

Jared raised an eyebrow and spoke in a cold tone. What enraged me was the fact that he was smirking. Only Adrian Ivashkov was allowed to smirk like that. "What, little vampire? You thought we'd let you use your magic and try to _compel_ us?" His mouth turned into a tight line, as if he hated even saying the word.

"Now we're finally even," Keith said, grinning.

"Then come on, Keith," I said, ready to strike, "I'm not afraid of you. Fight me like a man."

Keith was already charging at me like a bull, but Jared stopped him with his hand. "Enough," he said. "You can beat him up later, I don't care, but that's not why I wanted you to be here with me. I want to talk to him, and I want you to witness."

Now I raised an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't talk to vampires?" I said playfully.

"Don't you dare talk to Jared like that," Keith hissed. "Have some respect."

"You can't expect respect from someone like him, Keith," Jared said, looking at me with his cold eyes that were brown, but looked nothing like Sydney's, thank God, "I thought we taught you that at Re-education."

That sentence seemed to have had some influence on Keith, even though he obviously had no brain – Keith simply closed his mouth and drew back with an enraged expression, crossing his arms on his chest.

Adrian 1, Keith 0. I mean, it was supposed to be Jared 1, but still. I was Adrian Ivashkov, after all.

"Now, vampire," Jared said, "First of all, you can't use your magic. We gave you a sedative, so you won't be able to compel us in at least another 48 hours. We'll be over with you long before that happens, I assure you, so don't even think of trying anything. You're at my will, and you're going to do as I say."

Jared and I locked our eyes and had a staring contest until he decided I actually understood English. I didn't want to think about the fact that they cut me off from magic, but that the darkness was still there, or about the fact that he said "they'd be over with me long before my magic came back to me." Without seeing auras, I wasn't really able to decipher what Jared's needs or thoughts were, but I didn't need auras to be able to understand Keith's thoughts.

"Now, the reason you're still breathing is not my daughter or her affair with you, as you might think," Jared continued, starting to pace the room with his hands behind his back. "First of all, you're royal and your death might bring all Moroi to an agreement and unite them against us, and I'm not willing to risk it, so don't be scared. The reason why I need you is of… different nature."

I was still thinking about the fact that he knew about Sydney and me – it meant we weren't careful enough – when Jared continued talking, Keith like a mad dog behind him. "You see, I kind of expected something like being in an alliance with vampires or something from Sydney, but _an affair__?_" he said in a disbelieving tone. "That's nearly... impossible to believe. She's still an Alchemist, she has the tattoo, I raised her to believe in other things..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

I, meanwhile, had enough of his "I expected that from her" talk. If Sydney wasn't going to stand up for herself, I was. "You expected it from her_?_" I said angrily, in a loud tone. "Of course, you expect bad things from her though all she did her whole life was do as you say. And when she does something for herself, you say _you expected it__?_ What kind of a father are you_?_"

Jared stopped pacing and turned around, his cold eyes blazing with some unknown feeling I identified as hurt pride. "Don't you dare tell me anything about raising my children," he said bitterly. "Zoe and Carly are both normal, though Sydney and Marcus aren't... but it's in their nature to be attracted to _you_," he said, _you_ meaning _vampires_.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right. Zoe testified against you, your wife wants to divorce you, Carly ran off to college because she couldn't bear the kind of life you wanted her to have, Sydney didn't know how to stand up for herself until a while ago, and Marcus... I thought you loved him_? _You know, because he's your only son_?_"

Keith's face tightened after I said that, and Jared laughed.

A psycho laugh. Yeah, he was definitely related to Jack the Ripper or something. I actually couldn't believe this cold, dangerous man was Sydney's father. I did see him in her - thank God, only physically - but they were very different.

"Marcus and Sydney both influenced them all badly. I let Carly go, and he contacted her - I found out about it a couple of days ago, actually. I found their Skype conversations and all. And Zoe..." he stopped for a second, putting his hand on his forehead and sighing heavily, "she believes Sydney too much. She's not beyond repair, though, and she's already doing better. After we're done with her, she'll be thanking me for deciding to send her to Re-education."

I gulped, knowing this was bad. Was Zoe too far gone_?_ Did the others manage to save her_?_ Were they even alive_?_ I just couldn't believe in the thought that someone killed Rose, or Dimitri, or Angeline, or Eddie... or Sydney.

So I decided to make a different approach and actually find out something from this man. "You keep saying it's in their nature, but not in Carly's and Zoe's," I said calmly. "And since you _obviously_ don't have anything bad in your nature, what's wrong with their mother_?_ Did she break a law or something_?_ Murder someone_?_" I tried.

Jared's grin disappeared from his face then, and he looked up at me. "You're as good in observing as they told me," he said in a low voice. "So let me reward you by answering your question, vampire. Their mother is the worst thing ever - she's one quarter dhampir. Evil blood was running through her veins - at least until I made her heart stop beating - and now it's running through theirs, too. By the time I found out about her father being a dhampir, Sydney was already born and there was no way to undo it. So I solved the problem and tried to deny the fact that my children were basically _vampires_," he ended through a scared whisper.

My eyes widened. Sydney's grandfather was... a dhampir_?_ So that meant Sydney was part-dhampir as well_?_

I was very interested in this matter, since it'd be able to explain many things, but Jared was already continuing his monologue.

"So, I wanted to tell you about the problem I have, the problem only you can solve. You see, I have a... a disease, and if you don't help me, I'm going to die." Jared said it with nodding to himself, as if trying to say that his plan was perfectly reasonable.

I raised an eyebrow. "You actually think I'd do it_?_" I said, remembering Lissa and Victor Dashkov and what consequences continuously healing him would exist.

"Oh, you'll do it," Jared said, grinning. "Because if you don't, I'm going to murder two persons you love the most in the whole world."

He wasn't bluffing - even without being able to see auras, I could see it in his eyes.

Sydney and Jill.


	84. Chapter 21,part three: God, Is That You?

**Author's note:** _Okay guys, this is a short one (but tense, and I'm kind of doing these cliffhangers on purpose), but I'm trying to stall this as much as possible and I really don't have time now - my sister wants to watch Penguins of Madagascar with me :D_

_Okay, I really don't have time, but I read your reviews and I laughed a lot! Tomorrow will be a busy Friday, but expect a long update from me. :)_

_Love you all!_

_And of course, Richelle Mead owns these characters._

* * *

"So," I said playfully, crossing my arms over my chest, "are we going to fight now? Or you're just going to surrender?"

Keith Darnell was watching me with his evil, empty eyes, and he shook his head. "No. Jared said not to touch you, because breaking a couple of your bones would prevent you from helping him, but you have no idea how much I'll enjoy it when you see me torturing Sydney."

That sentence made my hands curl into fists and my legs carry my body closer to him. "Don't you dare touch her," I said in a low, dangerous voice.

Keith smirked. "Oh, I already touched her. You have no idea how good it felt to hear her scream."

That sentence... well, it made me turn into alpha-mode. The problem wasn't in what Keith said, or in the fact that I knew he was just intimidating me, but in the fact that he could be telling the truth - yeah, I know Keith never told the truth, especially considering how much he hated me, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was Sydney and the possibility that he hurt her. I didn't even want to think about all the ways she might've been hurt by this jerk, but every time I blinked, I saw images of her cut, bloody, on the floor, screaming in pain...

So it made my primal side get out on the surface. Hitting Keith with my fist felt so damn good, and even better was his yelp of pain when his head connected with the floor.

Yeah, I was that awesome. I actually managed to knock him out, and I was a weak Moroi.

Castile and Belikov would be proud.

"Nobody messes with my feelings about Sydney," I couldn't refrain myself from growling, my chest falling and rising uncontrollably. I was swimming in the sea of spirit darkness now, but somehow, I couldn't bring myself to care.

But knocking Keith out didn't solve anything - he'd just be more pissed off when he woke up. Logically, I had to get out of that damn room, but how? No keys, no windows, nothing to smash against steel...

So then I swallowed my pride, sat down on the ground and actually... touched Keith. His pockets, more precisely.

Hallelujah. A key, a metallic tube with a needle sticking out, a lighter and his ID card. He actually looked even more awful on it.

_Focus_, I told myself. So, the key could've been the right one, but it'd mean he was stupid, and after Re-education, I seriously doubted that. I didn't underestimate Keith - well, at least not too much.

The thing that bugged me was that metallic thing. What could it have been for? Another sedative? Was he planning to knock me out and beat me up then? It wouldn't surprise me, seeing it was Keith we're talking about. But what if it was the antidote? Jared must've thought about the fact that I couldn't heal him if my magic was disabled, or something. Perhaps that was Keith's main role in this? Jared did leave him behind without even glancing in his direction, after all.

So then I did the best, or the worst decision in my whole life - I took the vial and stabbed myself with it.

Okay, that sounded dramatic. I injected the blue fluid, the antidote or a drug, into my veins. Then I closed my eyes, and prayed. _Please God, if it has to be a sedative, let me enjoy in it._

After a few seconds, I opened one eye, expecting to see something abnormal - a hallucination, or at least to have my head spin. But... but I was still kneeling on the floor next to Keith's ugly face. It wasn't uglier than usual.

"Huh," I murmured to myself, looking at my hands and starting to feel the rush of magic through my whole body. "I can't believe it. It worked."

I got up, feeling a smile on my face - because my magic was coming back to me, because for once in my life, I didn't screw everything up, because I made a crazy decision and it worked.

I put the key in the keyhole, praying again. _Don't betray me now, God_, I said in my thoughts, realizing I was actually starting to believe there was a God up there, someone who was watching over me and giving me things to help me achieve my goal. Did that mean what I was doing was right? Did that mean I was one of the good guys now?

With a smile on my face and faith in my heart, I pushed the door.

It opened.

I was expecting a lot of things, but not a wall a few meters in front of me. I found myself in a red hallway, a red carpet leading left or right.

Now, which side to take? I counted on God again to lead me and started going left - since I was a leftie, after all - but then I remembered a thing.

I could see auras again. That meant I could count on magic, and not only luck, to guide me - if there was an Alchemist close, I'd simply go the other way.

It should've been simple, but was it ever?

I identified Sydney right away - she was on the left - God obviously decided to help me today as much as he could - and she was surrounded by two emotionless auras.

On the right side, though, I identified Jill's aura, and she was surrounded by even more of the Alchemists.

I turned my head from left to right side, my mind blank - which side should I go? I mean, I wanted to go and save Sydney immediately - every fiber in my body told me to, but I had to be reasonable. Jill was the princess, we were bonded, she was my sister and she wasn't able to defend herself.

I gulped and closed my eyes. Jill would understand. She'd know why I chose Sydney and she wouldn't judge my decision.

But Sydney wouldn't either. And Sydney was a witch, and an Alchemist, and I had to believe in her, just like she asked me to. I had to be strong and let her take care of herself.

_Forgive me, Sydney, and forgive me, God,_ I mentally said and turned on the right side with a major sigh. Then I started to run.


	85. Chapter 21, part four: Power Of Love

**Author's note: **_Hello, guys! So I promised many things for tonight – regularly answers to your reviews, a normal chapter (not a 1k),and though I have a problem with my eyes (an infection of the canal that produces tears, it's making my right eye look swollen for over two months and if it doesn't get better until Tuesday, I'm going to have to go to an eye operation), it's not enough to stop me. It's Friday, after all, and while everyone goes out, I'm sitting here and writing! :D_

_1._ _**TheHappyLol**__: Always the first one to review! ;D Aww, you're so emotional *gives you a hug* As you can see, I'm prolonging it as much as possible, but there are only three real chapters left and an epilogue, so perhaps 10 days? I was actually contemplating whether to make Adrian drug himself (that'd be so hoot), or to cure himself, but because of the tweets I had to do this. Keith, run, before my popcorn girl stabs you! :D Aaaaaaaah, Adrian in P&T! Gimme that chapter, I've been checking until FanFiction crashed on my phone, around three hours ago. Ahh! Oh come on, I want it so badly. Thank you for… making me feel uneasy :P_

_2. __**happygirl0987**__: Bet you didn't expect that? :D_

_3. __**Bloodlines-Addict**__: Welcome back! :) Adrian is still trying to process all those things in his mind, and since he's in a mission of saving Jill, it's not going to be very easy. Silver Shadows makes my mind be active at 3 AM in the morning and form theories :D Thank you so much for those words, for appreciating my work and deciding to share your thoughts with me! It really means so much, especially now, when I'm so close to the story's end and two thirds of my reviewers either decided not to bother by reading/reviewing anymore or they're too busy with school and everything. I mean, I understand it, but still, I miss having 20 reviews per chapter :D I'm really glad I'm able to inspire you, though it's kind of funny from my perspective since I'm like, "I don't know what I'm doing" :D Thank you so much again! :)_

_4. __**sheerio4ever**__: Ah, my fellow friend, as soon as I finish TFH, we're going to talk by long, long PMs again :D I really miss that. Hope you liked my review for Memories? I can't enter PMs again, and it's annoying. Love you too! *gives you a big, big, big hug*_

_5. __**Rebelde09**__: Yay, you liked the twist! And believe me, if you knew my nationality background, you'd be mind-blown since it's so complicated. Sorry for the whole situation being so tense, it makes me tense too. I fall for protective bfs/husbands too! ;D Yeah, the worst is yet to come, this is just the beginning. And it will be painful… but it'll be painful for me too! :( Hope this chapter is long enough, I'm sleepy but I hope I'll be able to write at least 3k before I can't stay up anymore. Love you, and thanks!_

_6. __**bukwurm13**__: I know! But she wanted us to make a funny presentation, and she was like, "What's funny about Capetown?" but when the other girl said, "Madagascar," she started laughing and decided to do it. I'm the leader and everything, but I didn't have the nerves to argue with her. It's just a stupid English project, though it did annoy me. Yay, in ten years I'll hopefully be married and have children too! And until then we'll at least know something about each other :D And aww, I'm kind of more realistic so I don't hope for a rich husband, but to work and get rich myself! (though money isn't really important for me, I don't even have a wallet :D) And you are so nice with your hospitality! I'm glad you liked the mature and reasonable Rose. I really hoped you would. :) And oh my God, it didn't shock you? It was a thought that lingered in my mind… well, for quite a while. I was actually wondering whether to let Adrian go mad and the SWAT team come in and save him, or to unravel some things before the fight and all. Yup, many weird things will happen, and since I loved Victor Dashkov I just had to make you all remember him! :D Thank you, and love you! :) _

_7. __**rainy:**__ I personally hope that Jared will turn out to be one of the good guys, but I also think it's impossible. We'll see about all of that, but then again, lots of things are going to happen very soon! And that's exactly what Jared fears – the Moroi uniting against the Alchemists. Yeah, I'm not sure if unborn babies are counted? And 9 months isn't a short period of time. Jill is still in danger, I agree. Yup, I'm going to add the water magic in the chapter now, it's the least I can do (and I just pictured it in my head ;D), and yeah, I was trying to think like my brother and if he had the choice to save me or his girlfriend, he'd go and save me, I don't have a doubt about that. He just thinks Jill isn't able to take care of herself :D I actually just asked him, and he told me the same logic! You'll see what happened with everyone else soon, just be patient :D Of course, as soon as you post your stories I'll read them! :) Of course I'll be checking these reviews, when this story is over I'll still be here writing. My plan is to finish this story (for good, with an epilogue that'll explain everything that was left unexplained), and then focus on my one-shots for a while, since I write them much faster and easier – with TFH I have to do everything by the tweets and that really limits me and I can't do whatever I'd want to, it's also so hard to keep up with everything I've written so far and I keep forgetting things, while with one-shots I just… well, write. TFH really tired me, and I'm way behind everyone in school because of it, I hope it won't reflect on my grades. Thank you so much for your words, they really mean much to me. :)_

_8. __**DoughnutsForever**__: Woo-hoo! Ultra-long review! I love those, there are so many topics to talk about :D Daisy really is gorgeous, she's like a typical Australia girl for me :D I really hope we'll both be tough too, we all have problems and I'm really glad my parents are in love, my sister didn't run away, my brother isn't a drug addict and I don't want to kill myself. Thank God because we only have that problem, and not other things. We really have to ask Richelle, I'm gonna catch her on her next Q/A Twitter session! *starts stalking her* :D And now I'm blushing, because my memory disappointed me :D You're totally right! He sent her the stake and that letter after Russia, when we all thought he was dead and I was like, "Yes! I knew it! Dimka can't be dead!" while everyone else was probably gasping and thinking, "Oh my, this can't be good." Yes, I want to know that British-military-school thing too, it seems to me that he'll be a very interesting and important character! Oh, if he worked for Abe, that'd be so cool :D Of course, we'll pick other books to comment on, don't worry! ;D And after TFH comes out, we're going to have so many theories! :D Oh come on, we're both crazy fangirls. Ah, Jared and Keith. I know it's not deep-thoughtful or anything, but they're the bad guys from the very beginning! Yeah, Adrian doesn't even know how helpful he really is, because if he goes down, nobody will be able to heal others! :( You'll see about others ;D That's another dimension, and a really logical one! Oh my God, don't, it'll all be okay, though something bad will happen in chapter 23 and break all your hearts, if I write it right. I might let Sydney get brainwashed, isn't it a frequent scenario around here? ;D I tried to buy 4 books from eBay (from USA), and gave 38$ for it two months ago. The woman still hadn't sent the books and if she doesn't soon, I'll really report it to eBay. I really hate it! And you'd be a safe seller for me, so that's why I was wondering :D I love the cover of book 5, but I won't read until City of Heavenly Fire is out! I'm fine with having read three books, for now. :P No problem, my friend, I love talking to you! :)_

_9. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__: Nah, not yet ;D_

_10. __**SoZina**__: Welcome back! :) Please remind me of your one-shot request soon, I'm still in the moving faze and the paper with requests is in a bag (I don't know which), so I'll write it all down in a day or two. Of course I'll try it, it'd be a great experience! :) I'm really sorry and happy for making you feel all these things! I'm glad I made us all have fun, that was my intention all along! I'll do a mayor cliffhanger, but I'll it explain it in the next chapter, so don't worry about that. Every time I see Nic on a picture, in a video or anywhere, I think how he's hotter and hotter… and hotter. And we're born on the same day, how cool is that? I'm glad I'm not the only crazy fangirl! :D Thank you so much, I'm glad you think so! When I remember the little scared girl that wrote that first chapter, revised it a hundred times in two days, got around 5 reviews before she posted chapter two, I can't help but laugh. I also think I was growing and growing with each chapter, because I feel confident and at ease now, while before I just waited for those bad reviews and honestly, I'll never understand how out of nearly 1000 (I have to do something special for you when that happens, but I don't know what!) I got only 2 negative reviews. Am I really that good, or people just don't bother to leave bad reviews because they see I'm not asking for professional ctricizm? Anyway, it's always good to have an old friend back, and I lost many of them throughout the chapters – CherrySlushLover (she's busy), KeepCalmAndDream(I have no idea what happened with her), Sydney Ivashkov (her last review was a while ago), MilankaLovesMetal (she's probably busy too), Lilietje99 (she's probably busy too) and many other loyal friends… so it's good to have you back! Thank you for your words and for beating the laziness! :P_

_11. __**spaztronaut**__: I'm still trying to get used to you reviewing. It's kind of like having Richelle Mead review, and that'd be mind-blowing :D There'll be knocking out with water clubs in this chapter, so don't worry! ;D And yeah, I can surely write a lot, I'm still not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. Thank you so much for reviewing again, because I know you're very busy! :)_

_12. __**HopperIvashkinator**__: Sis! Yay, I'm really glad you loved how the situation turned out to end with Rose. You're a devil, that's for sure, but you're an angel too! And I'm so lucky to have you. :) Is Adrian that smart? :D He was too busy with spirit darkness and worrying that it never crossed his mind :P I think of Jared as a hypocrite – he'll act one way under one circumstance, but as soon as the situation changes, he'll start act differently! And that's awful. Yup, Sydney's grandmother or grandfather (I haven't decided yet) was a dhampir, so it makes her 1/8 dhampir. This was Keith's last chance and Jared will surely be pissed off. Thank you so much sis, you know how much your support means to me. To remind you, know that it means everything and that if you said you hated this story I'd simply erase it! That's how much you mean to me. Love you, and if you sent a message, I won't be able to respond because PM doesn't work currently on my phone! :(_

_My mum just put a cream in my right eye, so I'm writing with one open eye and believe me, even with 140% of zoom, I still don't see really well with one eye. Please don't judge if there are ridiculous mistakes (but you never do anyway)._

_Ah, forget about the long chapter thing. I'm sleepy because of the one-opened-eye thing and there are only two tweets anyway, so I hope you're not mad at me! I wrote around 2k, and it's midnight, so good night, everyone. _

_Love you all! *pulls you all into a mental hug*_

_Richelle Mead… something… _

It turned out, I chose the wrong side.

Jill was perfectly fine, fighting three tall men – all in white, of course. She groaned when she saw me enter and said, "I'm so mad at you! I can handle them! Go and find Sydney, she's in more danger!"

I raised an eyebrow. I knew Jill was a brave girl, a brave Moroi that knew how to fight – Eddie taught her martial arts and all – I knew she was tough, but magic combined with her legs was… awesome.

Jill frowned, her hair and her dress swirling around her as she moved her arms and her whole body in a spiral move, controlling the water that was basically everywhere – on the floor, on her dress, and more importantly, on those zombies that probably wanted to kill her.

Okay, so maybe she thought she didn't need help, but she was still a fifteen-year-old girl and if she made a single mistake, these guys would use it and knock her out.

And since I was already here… I might as well help then.

Jill shouted undecipherable words and pushed her hands in front of her, making a wave of water hit one of the men. Then she came forward and hit him… in a very painful place that made me shut my eyes for a second, imagining the amount of pain her strike must've caused. She looked beautiful, and awesome, and I was feeling like an older brother, seeing his sister beat the crap out of her boyfriend who tried to take advantage of you.

Jill giggled. "I'd never be able to do this to Eddie," she said as she focused once more and her hand was in front of her again, curled up into a fist this time. I tried to find the source of all this water, and I found it in the form of three bottles on the floor. I had no idea how they got in this little red, boring room, and honestly, I didn't care.

Jill continued her path until there was only one Alchemist left, and I decided to test my magic on him. What if only the thing with auras came back to me, and not the other things? What if this sedative was only supposed to help me a bit, not the whole way? I knew only one thing – never trust Jared Sage.

With the bond working as good as ever, Jill knew my thoughts and she immediately backed up. I lifted the man off the floor with my arms curled up in his shirt. "Do you hear me?" I growled, leaning into his face and trying to see if the man closed his eyes out of fear or he died even before I started doing things to him.

He had no idea. "Y-yes," he said shakily, and I smirked. So he was afraid of me, after all. "I'm sorry, sir, this wasn't my idea, I hope you understand…"

_Shut up_, was my first thought and with eye-contact, it actually worked. I didn't even have to say words to be able to compel anymore; I could just think them and it'd be enough.

"You're getting stronger," Jill whispered, and I heard concern in her voice. Did she think my powers were going to grow too much, until I wasn't able to control them? It was frightening, but very unlikely. I mean, my powers… they were kind of weird, but I never felt as if I wasn't able to control them – except for spirit darkness, of course.

"It's probably because of Sydney, her blood and her magic, Jailbait," I answered nonchalantly, hoping she blocked my thoughts in time. She turned to look at me and as soon as our eyes locked, I knew she heard my thoughts.

Jill simply rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, right," through a groan. We both knew it was the sedative that was making me feel this way, but thank God, we all decided to deny it and I was perfectly fine with that.

"Hey guys," I heard from behind me and I turned to see a bloody Eddie look at me. I realized I was still holding the incredibly silent Alchemist in my arms, so I raised an eyebrow and started putting images in his head. The worst things – spiders, bugs, ghosts, anything that'd make him feel bad.

And it worked – he took a shaky breath, letting out sounds that signaled he was afraid. I rolled my eyes and gave another mental order: _Fall asleep._ He suddenly stopped blinking, his dazed face becoming peaceful as he fell into a dream. I let go of him and he fell to the ground next to the two other Alchemists, knocked out by Jill. She looked at her boyfriend proudly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I wouldn't be able to take them down by myself, huh?" she said playfully, making Eddie chuckle and roll his eyes, walking over to her and pulling her into a hug.

"I'm just so glad you're okay," I heard him murmur against her hair and Jill sighed, leaning into the hug.

Yeah, I was kind of jealous because on the other end of the building Sydney was surrounded by God knows who, fighting all those people off by herself.

"Are you proud?" Jill whispered, obviously shutting the bond down.

Eddie kissed the top of her head. "Of course," he said and chuckled again. "I taught you well."

Eddie let Jill go, and took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers in the process. I looked at their synchronized auras, reacting the same way while seeing the other one smile, and even though we were in an ugly red room in a Re-education centre, I understood them both completely. If Sydney was here, safe and alive, I would've been a second away from kissing her passionately too.

I wondered again if that's what people saw in Sydney and me. Did we looked synchronized, in love, did we look like two persons that loved and cared about each other? I certainly hoped we did, because I loved her. I really did. And I wouldn't let anyone take our lives from us. I could, and I would protect us all.

"Where are Rose and Dimitri, and Neil?" I asked, making Eddie move his gaze to me. He still didn't let go of Jill's hand.

He gulped, pushing Jill in front of him, as if he wanted to protect her from my question. So typical of him. Did he actually think there was no one behind that door – the one behind Jill now – and that turning her away from me was going to help?

But he was the guardian, and you don't argue with guardians unless you're a guardian yourself.

Eddie cleared his throat. "They're… well. Gone. After you and Sydney got shot, we used our speed to get away of that place. I knew we had to continue with our mission, no matter who got hurt in the process – and I figured it was better to save Zoe than maybe save you two, so we got into the building just to find Jill in shackles in this room."

I looked at Jill's hand that was still gripping Eddie's, and there they were – blue-ish marks that meant they treated Jill as if she was in hell. For a 15-year-old, it definitely wasn't funny.

"And then a group of Alchemists came in and while we fought them off, Neil disappeared. Rose and Dimitri decided to go search for him and Zoe. By the way, where is Angeline?" he said, looking at Jill and scratching the back of his neck.

"Um, I don't know. I haven't seen her – or Trey ever since… since they kidnapped me."

All our faces tightened until then, and weird theories already began to form in my mind – what if Angeline and Trey had something to do with Jared? What if he offered them protection if they promised not to help us or something? But that was impossible, Angeline was loyal to us.

Trey, on the other hand, I wasn't so sure about. I simply hoped I was completely wrong about this.

And then things started moving in fast motion – the door opening, Jill screaming, Eddie putting her behind him, a blade hitting him in the left side of his abdomen, Jill screaming again, Keith appearing through the door.

He smirked when he saw me. "Figured you'd be with your kind," he said in a low voice. I didn't care about him, though; all I cared about was Eddie and the wound on his chest. He gasped a few times, then collapsed to the ground, and even though I couldn't see anything because he was in black clothes, I knew that the wound was big.

And I knew I had to heal him.

But how? With Eddie hurt, we had to fight Keith and by the time I knocked him out, Eddie might be half-dead. I wasn't willing to risk it.

"Take care of him," Jill said through gritted teeth, obviously aware of the bond once again. Her hands were balled into fists and there were tears running down her cheeks. "I'll take care of Keith."

And then Jill demonstrated just how powerful Moroi magic was.


	86. Chapter 22, part one: The Sage Secrets

**Author's note: **_I don't have time to answer your reviews (again) since it's so late, I'm sleepy and my right eyes is closed again (it was half-closed the whole day, I don't know how I'll go to school in that state), but here's a longer chapter that will reveal many things! I really hope you like it, I wanted to write this since forever._

_Love you all! I read all reviews and they're all beautiful, and MilankaLovesMetal is back! OMG! I'm so happy! Thank you everyone, and enjoy this one (and hate Jared, of course) :D_

_Richelle Mead doesn't write with one of her eyes closed, and I do. Does that make me awesome? :D_

They took him away from me.

They took him away, unconscious, God knows what poison running through his veins, Keith yielding a knife above his chest.

But he was still breathing, he was asleep, and dad knew not to play games with me. Now I knew that he knew just how powerful I was, and that's why I had to make myself believe in the fact that nobody was going to hurt Adrian.

Marcus kept distracting me – he was pacing the empty red room, only in a T-shirt and trousers. He looked as if he hadn't shaved, or took a bath, in days, and a part of me was sorry for him.

The other part of me? It wanted to stand up and hurt him badly, and not in a magical way.

At first my brother tried talking with me. He said "Sydney" with a compassionate, even regretful expression. He tried to touch my shoulders, but he drew back when I hissed. Once, a long time ago, I might've been happy to see him, to know that the man I met once, the man that was a coward, but also a helper, was in the same trouble as me. I might've been relieved, I might've seen a way out.

But no. I knew he deceived my mother, he obeyed my father's orders, he told him about Adrian and me, he told him all kinds of things. My own brother betrayed me, and without Adrian, I was alone. Completely alone, because I had no idea who I was.

I wasn't really alone, though. Trey was in the far corner of the room, and I wondered why Marcus never tried approaching him or anything. Trey told me he and Jill were jumped by the Alchemists only a few minutes after we left, in the safe-house – Jared obviously counted on us doing that, though I had no idea how he found out and it made me doubt the Court.

I didn't have time to think about the guardians and the traitors in Lissa's kingdom, though, because I was too busy with worrying about Jill, since she was a vampire and even though Lissa was pregnant, the baby was still months away and if Jill died she'd surely lose the throne. So they had interest in killing her, and even the thought of Jill, my vampire sister, made me shudder. My own sister and he faith, on the other side, made me worry as much, if not even more. Now I had no way of getting her out of here – Adrian was right, after all. This was a trap, and we fell right into it.

But what could've I done after I saw Angeline and Adrian got shot by those sedatives? Dad showed the technique to me once so I knew those arrows weren't made for killing, but I was never interested to learn more. Now I regretted it – every insider knowledge would've been good.

So Zoe was in Re-education, Jill, Angeline and Adrian in the hands of my merciless father, and Neil ran away into the building while we were all busy shouting and screaming and trying to wake Adrian and Angeline up. Rose, Dimitri and Eddie ran after him, and I really hoped they weren't caught, or worse, shot, because they really were our only hope now.

Trey was in this room when two men brought me here. Marcus was, too, and at first he got up and smiled, greeting me happily. Trey simply raised an eyebrow. Could he see the resemblance between us? Could he figure it out on his own?

The funny thing was, now that I knew Jared was Marcus' father, I could see resemblance. I could see that they had the same hair, the same facial expressions, the same build, the same furrowed eyebrows.

But the scary thing was, I could see myself in him too.

Trying not to freak myself out by comparing myself to a traitor, I closed my eyes, hugged myself, and thought about Adrian and all our good times. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember the exact shade of his eyes, and it almost made me sob. What if I never saw him again, and I didn't even remember how he looked?

I remembered other things, though. His smell. His laugh. The way he smiled. The way he spoke. Every touch I ever received from him. Every kiss, every passionate speech, every whisper. Everything he did for me, every inch of his magic I ever used. I still remembered, I knew, and I'd never forget. Forgetting Adrian looked simply… impossible.

But then I heard the large metallic door open, and I opened my eyes, knowing who I'd see.

Jared Sage, in all his glory, entered the room, his hands behind his back and his eyebrows raised. "Well, well, my children," he addressed Marcus and me, "I hope you don't think I abandoned you. I was busy with… settling some things, but I'm here now for you."

I noticed Trey looking back and forth between the three of us, and he said, "There's something weird about you…"

I rolled my eyes and looked back at my dad – he was obviously having a staring contest with Marcus, who stopped pacing the room and crossed his arms over his chest. "Would you do us all a favor and get out of here?" he said in a very harsh tone. It made me feel better, since I wasn't the only one who felt that way towards his own father, but it also made me feel confused – wasn't he worshiping Jared? Why would they be angry at each other?

"Aren't you guys supposed to be best friends?" I voiced my thoughts, stopping Jared from saying whatever he was just starting to. Trey still looked confused, his eyes narrowing, and it made me smile, though my own father looked at me with a poisonous look.

"You're not aware of what your brother did?" he said, making Trey laugh.

"Oh! So you're their father! I didn't know you had a brother, Sydney," he said, his eyes lightening up in enlightenment.

Before I had the chance to respond, Jared said, "Don't open your mouth unless I ask you something, you worthless traitor Warrior." It was the coldest tone my father ever spoke in, the tone he never used on anyone. It made Trey swallow hard, nod and retreat. It made me feel afraid of my father again. It made all feelings come back – the fear, the rejecting, the regime I lived in and by which I aligned my life, the tears, the wanting to please him, satisfy him, see me suffer and be miserable… I was suddenly that little girl again, the girl they took dolls from and changed them with Periodical System of Elements. The girl that didn't get to see Rome or Athens, but St. Petersburg. The girl that hated tattoos, but still got a golden one on her face.

"Now, where were we?" dad continued in a pleasant tone, ignoring Trey's presence. Meanwhile, I felt my knees weaken and I tried to remember Adrian and everything he taught me. He believed in me, he told me I was strong. I was an awesome witch that could kill him in a moment.

But no, my dad knew I'd never kill him. It'd just make me as miserable and as evil as he was, and I definitely wasn't like Jared Sage. If only I had my Adrian here to tell me what to do, to protect me from everything Jared was going to unravel. The awful truths I had to know, yet I felt safer in the dark.

Dad brought me out of my thoughts. "Yes, I think we were talking about Marcus and everything he's done to disgrace his own father. Shall I start it with the day when he told me Adrian Ivashkov was 'just some vampire from LA?'" He looked at Marcus pointedly, and I raised an eyebrow.

First of all, when did Adrian meet my father? The thought bugged me, and it made me notice how my father's nose wasn't aligned as it should've been. It was broken. And there was that one time when Adrian was beaten up…

"Oh my God," I heard myself say. So Adrian and Jill never told me the actual truth. They told me Adrian had a fight with Marcus, while he actually met my father, and broke his nose? But what was he thinking? Didn't he know just how crazy my dad was?

Jared raised an eyebrow. "I suppose your boyfriend never mentioned our close encounter to you? If my son told me," and he turned his gaze onto Marcus once more, "it was him, he would've died a long time ago. And you would've been Re-educated. But this has gone too far, and I'm forced to intervene."

"if you try to touch him, I swear on God-" I started, raising a finger, but dad cut me off.

"Don't you dare mention God, or involve Him in this," dad hissed. "If you remembered God, you wouldn't have indulged in those evil creatures, letting them do whatever they wanted with you. You should be ashamed of yourself, and what you've become."

I felt my eyes fill with tears – I was that little girl again, lost and scared, harassed by her own father.

Jared smiled. "But let me continue," he said in a pleasant tone. "Except for protecting _him_, he also contacted your sister, or should I say, half-sister, Carly, a while ago."

Marcus turned his head away, and I raised an eyebrow. But why would he do that?

"He was, actually, the one to get her to go to college, and away from me," Jared continued, ignoring us both. "Then he contacted you, but I stopped him before he managed to ruin Zoe too. She's safe now, right where she belongs."

I didn't comment on his sentence and obviously inaccurate information, but I had to protect my sister. "Don't hurt Zoe, dad. She hasn't done anything wrong. I'm responsible for everything. You may Re-educate me, but please leave her alone. It's obvious that she's not a good Alchemist, so please… just let her go with mom. Take me, Marcus and whoever you want, but don't hurt her."

Jared huffed. "First of all, you're beyond Re-education. Second of all, Zoe did do something wrong, and it's the obvious consequence of your influence – she fell in love with… _one of them_. I wasn't sure if she was beyond Re-education too, and if we had to take more drastic measures against her, but she's already doing better, thank God.

As for the other words you said… I'd never let her go away with her mother, because she'd ruin her life, just like she did with yours. She's a dangerous woman, and Zoe is my daughter – her place is among the Alchemists. Instead of worrying for a safe person, worry about yourself and all the sins you made – that's my suggestion," Jared said, making me close my eyes because he was just so harsh, and I was still a daughter that made her dad angry. Of course I felt bad.

"Dad, stop chastising her already," Marcus said, and I was grateful that he took his attention away from me, "she doesn't know anything, anyway. Yes, I betrayed you and everything, but let her breathe, for the God's sake."

Dad huffed again. "Stop it, please. First of all, look at your face. What did you do with it, and with that black ink? You told me it was just the part of the act, but look at her face!" he shouted, making me open my eyes again and see him pointing at me with his finger. "She has a silver tattoo! She's not loyal anymore. She's too far gone for anything! And then you're trying to use God against me? After I find out you actually _helped _that vampire? I can understand why you both did that, actually, but Zoe and her deeds shocked me. I wasn't expecting an affair from her too."

Did that mean Marcus had an affair with a vampire too? And what did dad mean by saying "he could understand why we both did that?" Did he hate us both that much?

Before I had the time to develop any more thoughts, though, Marcus shouted, spreading his arms, as if he was going to hug dad, "Is that because we're dhampirs, dad? Am I guilty because my great-grandfather was part-vampire? And do I have to suffer the consequences of it my whole life? I didn't choose that, dad, so stop telling me I'm guilty! It's all your fault, anyway."

"Wait, what?" I heard myself say. I was convinced I heard something wrong, but I started doubting it after I saw the compassion and understanding in Marcus' eyes.

Jared spoke up first. "Your mother, Irene Nicholson-Sage, was quarter-dhampir. She kept that fact hidden for a long time, but I started digging through her family trees and found out that her mother's initial surname was Dashkov. Her mother was a daughter of a royal bastard made from a Moroi-human affair and a human, which made her half-dhampir. When I found out about it, you know what I did?"

Marcus' face tightened when Jared paused. I kept blinking, trying to process everything I just heard. Dhampir… royal… Moroi-human… Dashkov… one quarter… half-dhampir… My mind couldn't comprehend it. "You killed her," Marcus said coldly, breaking me out of my trance. "You killed mom, and then you re-married as if nothing happened. And you're actually proud of it."

"Of course I'm proud of it!" Jared said, grinning. "What would've happened if we kept bringing new dhampirs to this world? You think it was easy for me, loving someone with a secret of that kind? Being an Alchemist and then lying in bed with a woman that had vampire blood in her? A product of those… disgusting relationships? And then looking at my own dhampir children, trying to figure out whether to kill them or send them to a place in which bloodwhores dwelled? For me, I knew, everything would lead to you becoming like them. So I decided to hide you away – you were my experiment, the child I tried to christen, the child I tried to make pure, the child that took baths in holy waters and wasn't repulsed… and then I made my wife think she was the one that gave birth to Sydney – using Alchemist technology and compulsion – but I saw it, I saw the evilness in Sydney's eyes. I always knew she'd end up being evil. You did surprise me, the first time you disappointed me, so I tried using a different tactics with Sydney – the strict regime. It didn't work, though. Nothing did."

Jared shook his head continuously, his eyes closed, as if he was actually sad because all his wonderful methods of "making a child pure" didn't work.

Okay. So I was a dhampir, one-eight dhampir, but still one. I didn't have time to think about how many things it changed, how it explained many things – from my own father hating me to the feeling of not fitting anywhere or being able to resist Alchemist compulsion, or have hospitality towards Moroi and dhampirs, or falling in love with one of them, or my blood not being repulsive to Adrian…

I did have time to think about the fact that Jared killed my mom, though, just because she was a dhampir. Was he really that sick? I mean, he was always cold and strict and harsh, but killing his own wife?

My dad was a lunatic, a dangerous lunatic.

Another thought occurred to me, and I said it out loud. "So that's what Keith's role was the whole time, right? To replace your son, your real son, just because he's human? Do you even know how sick you are?"

My father looked at me with a disgusted look. "You're telling me I'm sick, yet you tend to forget about your own secrets," he said in a low, dangerous tone. "Being with one of them… in Gods know how many ways… breaking God knows how many rules – Alchemists' and God's rules… All I have to say is, _God have mercy on your soul, _Sydney. You're beyond help, beyond repair. All I can do is save you from the pain, and the evilness that's possessing you. I never actually had a daughter, even though I desperately tried to make myself believe I did."

I closed my eyes after that, trying to forget his smirk and trying to take a deep breath. I was breathing heavily, my hands balled into fists, my eyes wet. I was the little girl that broke a vase, and her father said how 'she disappointed him again,' making her cry and say she's sorry through sobs. That's what I wanted to do in that moment – fall on my knees, hug his legs, cry and ask him for forgiveness, promising to be a good girl from now on.

But no. I remembered Adrian, everything he taught me, everything he wanted me to do, everything he believed I could become, and the magic came back to me.

"I'm sick of you and your disappointments," I said through gritted teeth, trying to control myself. I looked at Trey – his eyes were widely open, probably because my hair was flying and there were two large fireballs in my hands and a trail of magic was traveling from my left to my right arm. I knew this magic wasn't evil, so I wanted to use it freely. It was so easy, so easy to find it and use it, just by thinking of my Adrian.

Jared's mouth opened, and he backed up until his back were touching the door, his hands raising to touch the cross around his neck. "Dear Lord, she inherited it," he murmured. "Dear Lord, she's a dhampir that yields magic."

I smiled, raising one of my hands, a blue fireball in it. "Guess mom was one, too," I said, smiling.

But Jared shook his head, and his hand left his cross. After a moment, a blue fireball was in his hand too, but he quickly made it disappear. "No, she wasn't. You inherited it from me," he said in a near-whisper.


	87. Chapter 22, part two: Comprehension

**Author's note: **_You're all going to stab me, kill me and burn me, but please don't be angry at me for not answering your reviews again. The Latin exam, this time for sure, is tomorrow and I don't even have anything to study it from. My eye is stinging and it's closed again, I have to go to school with it in that state and I don't like how the creme feels in my eye... Just ew. That's what I get when I take days off from school without a valid reason, I guess.  
_

_Also, everyone who PM-ed me are going to kill me and I'll try to answer at least something, but I hope the long chapter makes up for it?_

_I really love you all, and I'd really love to see both sides of the screen, not just the left one :D_

_Yeah, you know it, these characters are Richelle Mead's._

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a happy family. The father, the mother, and their three daughters. The Sage family.

The father's job was a bit crazy, and the oldest daughter refused to do it, but the second girl decided she'd make daddy proud by becoming an Alchemist and protecting the world from the evil race of vampires. It did make mommy unhappy, but it was necessary.

I realized I believed into that fairytale all until this day. Even with the sudden knowledge of Marcus and me being someone else's children, I thought my mom – the woman I thought was my mom – wouldn't care and that everything would remain the same.

But now, after I witnessed my father and his magical skills, it all shattered.

I sank to the ground, unable to close my eyes. The Sage family was a lie, and a dangerous one, at that. My mother, me and my sisters were deceived into thinking we were all a part of a happy household, while it actually wasn't the truth.

My father's name was Jared Sage, but my mom was named Irene and she was a dhampir. I had a brother, and his name was Marcus – or at least, that's the name I knew him by. My father murdered my mother because he thought she was evil, and he separated me from my brother, hiding him away and making sure to erase every single Alchemist record of him that ever existed. Stanton maybe didn't lie to me – perhaps she simply didn't know about it.

That was the easy part. I could comprehend that somehow, I could understand it. It simply confirmed the fact that my dad was sick and disgusting.

But the other part, the part in which he compelled his new wife into thinking I was her real daughter, was a problem for me. Marcus was an experiment for him, so I was one, too? Did he want to watch every single second of my life, see me develop and try to figure out whether to kill me, like he did with his wife, or to let me go? But it all made sense now – the strict régime, the hatred, the sense of not belonging.

There was another thing I couldn't comprehend, If Jared re-married a while after I was born, how did Carly fit into this whole story? Because obviously, she wasn't a product of my parents' love. Was she Irene and Jared's third child? Nobody mentioned her.

"Dad…" I said in a low voice, "what about Carly?"

I noticed Marcus was closer to me now, his hand hesitating near my left shoulder. The gesture made me feel better, somehow, because it reminded me I wasn't alone in this mess.

Dad was, meanwhile, frowning. "Carly?" he repeated, looking confused. "What about her?"

I sighed. Did he have to dodge that, too?

"Is she… is she Irene's daughter, too? Because she can't be mom's. She's too old," I answered slowly, my voice unknown to me. I was slowly drifting into numbness – I wasn't feeling disgusted by myself, by my father, by my brother, by my mother… by anyone, anymore.

"Carly's mom's," Jared exclaimed fiercely, making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "But she's not mine. Your mother was married once, before she met me, and she had a child in that marriage. I thought, If I can bring my child into our marriage, she can, too. An extra child, especially close to Marcus' age, didn't bother me, because I had someone to compare his development with. There weren't many differences, probably because the amount of vampire blood in your bloodstream is such low," he said and nodded to himself.

Yes. My father was definitely a sick, disgusting, awful, evil, sadistic man. "So that means Zoe's basically your only 'pure child' or whatever you call it," I concluded, and Marcus stiffened next to me, probably hating the sister he never even met. The sister I believed was my sister, too, while my other sister was basically nothing to me. We didn't even have the same father.

"Of course," Jared answered, smiling. It was such a strange thing – seeing a cold man like him smile, even though the reason for it was morbid. "That's why I hoped Zoe would be the Alchemist in the family, but by the time she was born, I was too old so I had to try and recruit Carly. When she refused, there was nobody else left except for… you. I thought it'd be good – getting you used to hating the very kind you belong to. My technique proved to be a complete failure, though, so I have to take Zoe. She is my last chance."

The numbness faded for a second and I was already getting up, pointing a finger at Jared. "You are not going to touch her," I growled, feeling the anger show up in me once again.

Jared shook his head. "I think it might be too late for that," he said poisonously. "First of all, with the Alchemist technology and convincing your mother she tried to kill her own child – the one she never knew she had, I'll get the custody within a moment. And as soon as you stopped influencing her, she started doing better. She's already showing signs of repulsion towards vampires, which means I made the right decision when I kidnapped her."

I gasped, feeling nauseous, the room spinning, and Marcus finally decided to touch my shoulder. "It's okay," he murmured. "Just sit down for a moment, or you might collapse."

I swallowed, but obeyed. I didn't have the strength to fight anymore – not until I came to peace with everything I just found out. I put my head in my hands, and tried to take deep breaths and calm myself down. But the voice in my head kept saying, _dhampir_.

"I'm waiting for you to step up to your father and take responsibility for your actions," my father continued from somewhere far away. Even in this state, his harsh tone hurt me. "You've done a lot of bad, forbidden things. If you ask me really nice, I might Re-educate you-"

"Just leave her alone for a moment, okay?" Marcus snapped, and I was grateful for it once again. He started to seem like a friendly creature, though I was still angry at him. But he was in the same position as me, and it did help. "Can't you see that he has a lot to take in? Come back in fifteen minutes or something, I don't care, but just stop for a second."

Jared didn't say anything, but I heard his footsteps as he left. After the metallic door closed, I heard Trey whistle and say, "That was close."

"Yeah, will you shut up now?" Marcus said, taking out his anger on Trey. I didn't want to let the two fight, so I uncovered my face and touched Marcus' arm.

"He's one of the good guys," I whispered. "Don't take it out on him."

Marcus opened his mouth, still turned towards Trey, but after a moment he turned his gaze on me, closed his mouth, swallowed and nodded. It was as if he was a totally different person now – Marcus Finch, the rebel Alchemist, didn't exist anymore. At least, he wasn't anywhere in this man's features.

"I'm one of the good guys, too," Marcus said in a low voice, making me think that he was actually afraid. Of what? Talking with me? But it was ridiculous, because we knew each other for months! Still, this man here was nothing like the one I met months ago, and he was my brother, after all.

"Tell me," I heard myself whisper, even though I didn't know the reason for it. Did I want to meet my brother, get to know him? Did I want him to justify his actions to me, so that I could actually believe him? Did I want him to be with me in all of this, fighting against our father? I really hoped I did.

So Marcus told me. He told me all about his childhood and the way Jared treated him. Trey was in the room, listening to his story, but I soon forgot about him as I felt myself being pulled into the story. Jared treated me awfully, but Marcus' life wasn't perfect either. Being hidden away in a Re-education centre for fourteen years, aware of the fact that he was part-vampire wasn't my idea of a wonderful childhood. Actually taking baths in holy water, learning the Bible by heart, trying to be 'purified;' it was all a very different, yet so similar pattern to what I lived through.

Then he told me how Jared had a major plan – Marcus, infiltrating himself into a rogue Alchemist and giving him as much information as possible to make him catch other, real rogue Alchemists. When Jared let him out in the real world, with a fresh golden tattoo on his left cheek, Marcus didn't even dream of meeting vampires, interacting with them; he only knew he was supposed to pretend to be something he wasn't.

But he was Jared's son, after all, and he knew some of his secrets. He knew about Carly, about Zoe and me, and he was desperate to contact us. Years later, months before Carly graduated, he contacted her and told her he was her brother. It wasn't the truth, seeing how Carly didn't share any of his blood, but he still needed someone to understand him. He told her the simple, nice version of his story and in return, she gave him sisterly love.

The fact that Carly never bothered saying any of that to me, not even after Keith, hurt me, but I knew that I would've done the same if a lost brother contacted me and told me my dad was a psycho.

Marcus proceeded to tell me about him and Clarence, meeting vampires, becoming a real rogue Alchemist, Sabrina and Warriors and all secrets he never knew the Alchemists had. Meeting me, the way getting to know his real, his only real sister felt, and the desperate urge to tell me the truth, and then the fear of being rejected or laughed at afterwards.

Somewhere throughout the story, I realized Marcus was in a vulnerable state and that what he was telling me something he never told to anyone else before. I realized our life stories were very similar – we were both lost, sent into the lion's mouth by our father. The way his eyes were blazing made me realize he was just another poor tortured soul Jared Sage destroyed.

Marcus also told me how Jared contacted him not a while ago, telling him about the divorce trial and what his role in it was. He had no chance except to accept his offer, and Jared asked for him to give him some information about me.

In the last moment, Marcus found out it was a trap. After he returned from Mexico and Sabrina decided to stay for a while longer, it was very strange for him, since Sabrina insisted on following him everywhere. When he found out all the ex-Alchemists he left in Mexico were sent to Re-education before their tattoos were sealed, it wasn't too hard to put two and two together. Sabrina was the traitor, and he already told her about Adrian, me, and the way we interacted. The only way for him not to be busted was to play along.

But when Adrian showed up and broke Jared's nose, Marcus decided to protect him. Jared didn't know how Adrian looked like, after all, so he figured he wouldn't be caught in the lie. He had to beat Adrian up, though, and he told me he felt sorry for doing it.

Marcus didn't have great plans that could help us defeat Jared. He didn't know a way out of this room, he didn't have explosive or a gun to kill Jared with, he didn't have anything.

But he was one of the good guys, because he fought against Jared. He didn't testify at the trial, and he tried to break Zoe out of Re-education. Jared caught him and put him into this room, and then he brought Trey in, saying how "he was a human, after all, and he didn't belong with vampires."

It ended up with him looking at me with my mother's – my real mother's – blue eyes, and whispering, "Do you forgive me?"

At that point, I knew he wasn't lying. I found the strength to nod, tell him, "I forgive you," and then he pulled me into an embrace.

A strong embrace that seemed to last for hours. Marcus was kissing the top of my head, breathing heavily and saying, "My sister, my wonderful sister," and I realized I was crying, because I was in the arms of my brother, the brother my father took away from me.

After the bonding time, Marcus kept me secured in his arms and at that point I realized just how differently it felt to be held by your brother and your boyfriend. When Adrian touched me, wrapped his arms around me, I always melted in his arms and it overpowered every other feeling I even tried to have. When Marcus touched me, I felt simply safe and secure, as if nothing could break me.

Then Trey spoke up, looking at anything except in us, and I realized just how awkward everything was for him. "What about the others? And what do you think is Jared's plan?"

Marcus spoke up first. "I'm not sure. He keeps saying Sydney's beyond Re-education, but I can't imagine him killing his own daughter. He could only try the old-fashioned way, which is much worse than being murdered or Re-educated. As for me, I think he'll just be angry for a while but he'll let me go. I might do a week of Re-education, but it won't be a big deal. I was there a hundred times already, and I always pretended to be broken, afraid and loyal."

I turned around to see that Marcus was rolling his eyes, obviously finding Re-education amusing, or even ridiculous. "You've been at Re-education?" I asked incredulously. "And what's the old-fashioned way?"

Marcus nodded and smiled, obviously enjoying my expression. "Yeah. It's not that big of a deal – they show you Strigoi, Moroi drinking blood from Alchemists and humans, try to scare you. I saw a couple act as if they weren't afraid, so they let a Moroi drink from them, and after that, they sure as hell became terrified. They actually tried it on me once, and even though I acted as if I was _so, so afraid of vampires_, I was just acting. They let you go if you start to tremble when they mention blood." He grinned, seeing my raised eyebrow. So that was it? Only watching Strigoi and Moroi bit people? I mean, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't sure if that was enough to scare Keith.

"But what about Keith, then?" I voiced my thoughts, making Marcus' smile disappear and his face darken.

"Keith is… a special story," he said in a low voice. "Dad felt especially annoyed and angry because his 'pure son' disappointed him. He used the old-fashioned way on him, and believe me, he didn't last for long."

"What's the old-fashioned way?" I asked in a small voice, a bit fearful. My father knew I was a witch, so if he tried to torture me, he'd definitely disable my abilities.

Marcus gently touched my face, though he didn't smile. "There are two ways… for those that are 'too far gone for Re-education.' The first one is to put you into a dark room and torture you with all kinds of things – flicking lights on and off, complete dark, loud music, lack of sleep, sedatives, constant beating, screaming, throwing buckets of cold water… you know, the old-fashioned way. Dad's favorite book was always _Middle-age Torture Devices_, so believe me, he has many, many bad ideas of torture. He goes on with it until the subject either loses his mind, or believes in anything you say."

I shuddered, and Marcus wrapped his arms around me more tightly, as if trying to protect me from those things. "Don't worry," he gently said. "I don't think he'd ever try that on you."

"But what will he do to me, then?" I whispered, my voice thick and panicked. What was my dad planning to do with me?

"Nothing, because I'll protect you from him," Marcus said fiercely, making me smile. "But there is another way of Re-education… a very modern one, but it's not commonly used because there are so many negative effects. Going crazy, being pulled into a coma, internal bleedings… they still hadn't invented the cure for all those negative effects, but it doesn't stop dad from using it on those who he hates the most."

Marcus stopped for a second, either giving me time to prepare myself for his next words or going for the drama effect.

"There's a sedative, one that Jared invented," he said in a near-whisper. "If you inhale it, it affects the mind in a very… compulsion-like way. While you're under its effects, your brain doesn't work properly and you're very easy to deceive. That way, you'll believe anything, and everything Jared tells you."

I gasped. "Mom," I whispered. "He gave it to mom, to make her think I was her daughter."

Marcus nodded. "Yes. She was the first person he tested it on, and the only person that never suffered the consequences of it. Everyone else who inhaled the sedative are either in an asylum or on the graveyard."

"Oh my God," I whispered. But why would dad do that? Why would he risk his wife's life? The selfish part of me wanted to think it was because he wanted to protect me, but I knew better. Mom was just an experiment for him, and the world I lived in didn't exist. The world of lies, torture, murders, secrets and deceived people was the real world, and I felt as if I just woke up from a 18-year-long dream, and opened my eyes to see I was living in an entirely different universe.

The conversation soon moved from Jared and the secrets he kept from us our whole lives to others.

Angeline, for example. "Do you think he'll hurt her?" Trey said, his eyes shining and his hands balled into fists. "Because if he tries, I'll-"

Marcus cut him off. "I don't think so. I think he just wanted to get rid of her, because she'd sure as hell fight for you. You remember how he called you a 'worthless Warrior?' That means he knows who you are, and that obviously leads to the conclusion he knows about you and Angeline, too."

"So now we just have to wait until either Jared comes back, or Eddie, Dimitri, Rose and Neil come for us-" I started, but a soft sound cut me off.

It sounded like a knock on the door, and I thought I imagined it. Marcus and Trey both turned their heads towards the door, too, so I internally sighed in relief.

"Sydney?" I heard a soft voice say from the other end of the door. Despite Marcus' hands strong around my waist, I managed to get up and run over to the door.

"Sydney, it's not the best idea..." Marcus trailed off as I shushed him.

"Eddie?" I asked uncertainly, putting my hands on the door. "Is that you?"

"Yeah," I heard him say softly. "Are you alone in there?"

"No," I answered, but then quickly added, "but not with Jared, or the Alchemists. I'm with Trey and Marcus, and they're both harmless."

"Do you mind moving away from the door?" Eddie asked softly. "We need to open it somehow, and since we're not sure if Keith's key is the correct one, I'm not sure what's going to happen."

Yeah, that was Eddie Castile. Caring, like always. He never excluded any possibility of me being hurt by a flying piano or something impossible.

After a few moments and after Marcus put me behind him, despite my protests and groans, we heard a beeping sound and then...

The door opened, thank God. No alarms, no guns or flying darts, nothing. Just the door, opening slowly, too slowly.

Revealing Eddie, Jill and...

"Adrian!" I screamed, not caring if my dad was going to hear me, and I untangled myself from Marcus' arms. Adrian looked confused, though, even hurt, but still hugged me after I ran across the room and into his arms.

"Am I going crazy, or I saw that rat hugging you?" he said into my hair, making me giggle.

"Adrian, I thought you knew he was my brother," I said gently, leaning back to look at him. He couldn't, and wouldn't, be jealous of Marcus. "He's just another victim of Jared's plans. He's among the good guys. But I, on the other hand, I'm..." I closed my mouth, not willing to speak further and tell him the real problem.

I mean, even though he was a Moroi, he'd still be disgusted if he found out I was part-dhampir. It'd change, and kill so many things that existed between us, and just the thought of it made me sigh and put my head into his chest again.

"I know," he said gently. "Jared told me. We'll get through it together, but first we need to find the others and get the hell out of here. Will you be able to stay sane and composed until then?" he asked, and I nodded immediately.

"I won't think about it for a while, until this is all over," I whispered and we locked eyes, a message _Then we'll talk about it_ passing between us.

I started to move away, but then something I didn't expect happened - Adrian pulled me closer, leaned down and kissed me, in front of my brother.

Of course, it was my brother who cleared his throat and made me start thinking again - So did that mean he didn't care that I was a dhampir? Was that a promise, that everything was going to be okay? Was that the last kiss, the kiss of goodbye, if something happened to one - or both of us?

"We need to get moving," Eddie said, a look of compassion in his eyes. I noticed Jill was gripping his shoulders, he was sweaty and in the light of the room it was easy to notice a trail of blood on his clothes. It looked as if someone stabbed him in the stomach.

"Eddie-" I started, horrified, astonished and not certain how he was able to stand in that state, but Adrian put his hand in mine, stopping me from saying anything more.

"I took care of it," he said, making me feel even more anxious. So that meant there was more spirit darkness, more going crazy, more alcohol, more problems... Because of who? "Keith did it, but Jill took care of him," Adrian finished and I simply nodded, not wanting him to elaborate. Jill was very fierce in situations when someone tried to hurt those she loved.

And so we left the ugly red room, Adrian telling me what happened with him along the way. I was feeling relieved because he was alive and safe beside me, but also awful because we had just so many problems. Spirit darkness, Zoe re-educated, my real mother, Angeline, my psycho father, the battle against the Alchemists, Keith... so many problems we had to solve before we drowned in Jared's plans for us.

The old-fashioned way of Re-education, in my case.


	88. AN

_Three exams tomorrow - sociology, native language and Physics, and I only studied my native so far - and it's 10PM already! I really hope you all understand. I was trying to finish it all by tonight, but I simply don't have enough time and it's not fair. :(_

_I hope you all know that I love you, so see you tomorrow! _


	89. Chapter 22, part three: Slow-motion

**Author's note:**_ Not today either, and probably not until Thursday night, what with the going to doctors and hospitals to check my eye to studying for so many exams, and my best friend having her birthday the day after tomorrow (I have to make a movie for her), the project for English, the need to rest and eat... But you'll get your answers, all of you! And there are so many reviews that it'll take hours to answer them all, but it never stopped me before, right?_

_And my friend **sheerio4ever** told me I'm a pirate, so met pirate Ehlymana! AYE forever! :D_

_Did I say anything about 1,000 reviews? Please tell me I did._

_Okay, stop now, I was trying to make this a fast one but it's impossible. I mean, TFH trailer... mind-blowing. Everything was awesome, cute and fluffy, but that one second in which we have Adrian and Sydney and their intertwined hands and his ring (I'm still not sure if it's mentioned anywhere in the books) and... and I'm drawing conclusions from that one frame! I mean, are they... are they going to... OH MY GOD! That's basically day one: reaction one to trailer one from me. Everything else I don't even have the need to comment on because it's just so awesome (yeah, Nic and Daisy don't act well, bla bla bla, it sounds unnatural, bla bla bla, but I don't care! I'm desperate and I'm taking anything they give to me, even if it's a single minute! I mean, I expected at least 3... but still.)_

_Love you, love you, your reviews are amazing!_

_Yeah, you know it, these characters are Richelle Mead's._

* * *

You know, deceiving yourself that you're walking on a beach with your boyfriend, brother and friends while you're in a Re-education centre with your father a wall away from you, is definitely not a good thing.

Why? Because when bad things happen, you feel as if you're pulled into a slow-motion movie and you're watching everything happen, but you're unable to change anything.

That's exactly how I felt when Eddie suddenly disappeared from my field of vision, and when Marcus and Adrian tried to shield me with their bodies, and when Jill screamed, and when Adrian was pulled away from me, and when I saw an ugly face and regretted my decision to leave it on its owner's head for the thousandth time. I felt as if I was just a silent watcher, unable to do anything about anything.

My heart was begging me to scream my eternal love's name, it was begging me to move, attack someone, kill someone, do something with my magic, anything, but all I could do was stand there and look at Keith and Marcus fight. They were fighting slowly, and Jill's scream was still resonating through my ears, and I was still wondering where Trey disappeared, and I still wanted to find Adrian and lock him up somewhere until this was all over...

But then Keith looked at me with that glass eye, with that evil real eye of his, and with that smirk with which he was saying: _We won, you fool. We won, and now we're going to torture you_. Looking at me was the biggest mistake of his life, because it made me feel my arms and legs again, and I remembered how to chant in Latin.

So I chanted, and Keith froze. Another Alchemist, that was grabbing Jill from behind, lost his sight and he screamed. Another one fell on the ground unconscious. I was standing there, raising my arms and pointing at the people I wanted to hurt, letting my body deal with this on auto-pilot. I was too busy worrying about Adrian and the fact that I wasn't able to see, or hear him, to be able to do anything. that's why I didn't care if someone got a concussion because of the fall, or if I blinded someone permanently, or anything.

At least ten people were on the ground by the time I was even finished with scanning the room for any sign of Adrian, and I was just starting to use my magic. The hallway was suddenly full of the Alchemists, full of people I never met, full of threats. I closed my eyes, feeling the people and the energy that surrounded them. Then I started pulling at that energy and people started screaming, gasping and growling. I didn't care, though. All I could think about was the pulsating of my head and Adrian. Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. Adrian, taken away from me. Adrian, who shone so brightly. Adrian, who'd be dead if my father got him in his hands.

Adrian.

I suddenly leaned forward, fast and hard, with my fist pointing forward, and I didn't stop until it touched the floor. I didn't feel the pain when my fist connected with the ground, and I didn't feel compassion when people screamed again. I was going to save Adrian, no matter the cost. Even if it meant killing everyone in the whole city, I was going to find him and take him somewhere safe. My body still felt the urge to scream, though, and I hit the ground with my fist again, astonished by the force of the blow I made with magic. I stayed in my position, half-kneeling, half-crouched on the floor, breathing hard.

"Stop it," I suddenly heard a voice, "Stop it right now, or I'm going to kill him."

The voice sounded afraid, and it made me open my eyes.

And gasp in the process.

The first thing I noticed was that the ground around where my fist hit the floor was burned. it formed a perfect black circle, with a red spot in the center.

My blood.

I gasped again, glancing at my hand - it was bloody, so bloody that I started shaking.

"It's okay," Adrian said from somewhere behind me, "I can heal it. It'll be okay. Just don't think about it." He was obviously looking at my aura and was aware of the state I was in.

I took a deep breath and stopped looking at my hand, deciding to look at my surroundings instead.

It was equally shocking.

I slowly got up, blinking and trying to distinct the right from wrong. Was I hallucinating?

The thought was soon replaced by: _Oh my God, what have I done_?

Everybody was on the floor, and when there is at least 20 people in a small hallway, it's a large number of people just lying on top and beside each other.

Everybody was unconscious, too. Jill, shielded by a couple Alchemists from the blow, thank God. Blood trickling down her forehead.

Eddie, in the far corner of the hallway, but still visible. His hand clutching his stomach, his face facing the floor, all around him red.

My brother, Marcus, very close to me, on top of an Alchemist. Hid blond hair all sticky and reddish, making me hope it's someone else's.

Trey missing, or at least invisible in the crowd of at least 20 people in white clothes. I had trouble remembering whether he was wearing black or some other color when we came here.

Keith, a knife stabbed through his hand, lying next to Marcus, his face a grimace of pain. It actually made me feel better - seeing him in pain. He just did so many things, bad things, to me and my family and friends. Things I couldn't forget, or forgive.

Other people, bloody, unconscious. Ian among them, his suit too bloody for it to be someone else's blood. I felt bad for a moment, but as I moved my gaze forward, I knew I'd forget about him within a second.

Finally, Adrian. Alive, breathing and conscious, looking at me with worry, concern and... fear? The magic obviously didn't hit him since he came out behind the corner, and thank God, I didn't smash any walls, so it made me feel slightly better.

But the final shock, the one that made my eyes widen and my knees fall from under me, was seeing the person who was holding a knife on Adrian's throat, looking at me as if I was a ghost.

"Angeline," I whispered, kneeling on the ground. "Angeline, what did you do?"

Angeline swallowed and shifted her gaze so that it rested on something behind the corner, something I couldn't see. "I don't need to justify my actions to you," she said in a high-pitched, shaky voice. "You always considered me to be stupid anyway."

"Put the knife down, Angeline," Adrian said in his calm, composed voice, never moving his eyes from me. "We can work everything out later, but I don't think an unstable magic yielder willing to kill you because you're a threat to me is going to help anyone."

Adrian was right - I was unstable. I kept blinking, trying to focus on something, anything, but I was experiencing the worst headache of my life and I kept zoning in and out of awareness. All I kept thinking about was: _Did I kill someone? Did I hurt someone? Did I__ do it intentionally? Are my powers getting out of control once again? Am I a ba__d person? And why, oh why is Angeline __holding a knife against Adrian's throat?_

"You are not going to compel me," she said harshly. "I did what I did because I'm protecting myself and the man I love."

At that moment I saw Trey get out from behind Angeline. He was looking very uncomfortable, curling his hands into fists and relaxing them again every two seconds. When he looked at me and saw my hurt, betrayed face, he cleared his throat. "It wasn't my idea, Sydney," he said in a low voice, "but there's nothing I can do about it now. She made an agreement with Jared about-"

Angeline cut him off with a hiss. "Don't tell them our plans! They're going to use them against us!" I looked at Adrian once again, looking so helpless on the edge of that knife. I expected him to say something, but he just smiled. It was a gentle, sad smile. It was an honest smile, too. A smile that said _I'm not afraid to die for the ideals I live by_. The smile that he kept for me his whole life, and that completely undid me and made butterflies appear in my stomach. The smile that said _I love you_. The smile that said _If I die-_

"Shut up," Trey said, turning towards Angeline and furrowing his eyebrows, the sign that showed he was angry. "They deserve to know. Do you think they'll be capable of hunting us down tomorrow, if that maniac is going to brainwash them, pull them apart and torture them? And don't you think that after all this time, they should at least know why they're betrayed and why they're going to be sacrificed?"

"But Trey-" Angeline tried in her annoying whining voice.

Trey cut her off, pointing a finger towards her. "I want you to remember something until the day you die, Angeline Dawes. I'm going to do this because I care about my life, but I didn't choose this. You were the one to initiate the plan, without even asking me. I'd never, ever do this on my own, and as soon as we're free, I'm going away to Australia or wherever's as far away as possible from you."

Trey's words made me feel better, somehow, but I was still having a conversation with Adrian. He was still smiling, telling me stories with his eyes. Stories he never got to tell me. Stories about him, his life, his aunt, his childhood. His secrets, his interests, his deepest passions and things he wanted to do with me.

As a response, I felt my eyes fill up with tears, and I bit my lower lip to keep them at bay. I shook my head and mouthed _You're not leaving me_, which made Adrian smile even broader. It didn't quite reach his eyes, though, so I deciphered it as the smile of compassion. Like when you smiled to a child who wanted to wake up his grandfather, not realizing he wasn't going to wake up.

"But I'm doing this for us!" Angeline snapped, and the knife brushed Adrian's neck a bit, leaving a trail of blood behind. "I'm doing this so that we can live in safety, not caring about the Alchemists or Warriors or anyone! And since you hate The Keepers so much, I made Jared promise to find us a safe place to live in, too! Don't you see? He's stronger than them anyway, so why not get ourselves out of this mess? I shouldn't be protecting the princess. I should be protecting you. And by making this agreement, I'm doing just that."

"What's the price?" I said in a low voice, surprising myself with how mature, tortured and cold my voice sounded. "My head?"

Angeline slowly shook her head. "No. There's someone he hates more than you. Someone he wants dead."

I knew the answer immediately, because I knew only one person my father hated more than his dhampir daughter.

Her vampire boyfriend, who made her stand up on her feet and fight against the torture.

_Adrian._


	90. Chapter 23, part one: Almost

**Author's note: **_Okay, people, I've had a very long and a very bad day - handling people and getting a C from Latin because of a single word! And then having a major fight because people don't appreciate or value what I do, and believe me, I had to hold back tears at least twice today. It's been an awful day, and I just want to lay down, curl up in a ball and fall asleep, forgetting about everything that's gone wrong within a few hours._

_So don't put negative things in your reviews for this chapter (even though you never do, you're all so understanding and supporting), since it's probably going to be as awful and as turbulent as my mood. Not even Supernatural lightened it._

_Hope you enjoy it. I can't, not today._

_And have I mentioned the fact that I wrote around 200 words and it all got erased? What am I supposed to do now? Scream or cry?_

_Okay. Here we go again._

* * *

It took only a moment for Angeline to do it.

Only a moment.

I was perfectly aware of everything. Aware of the fact that Angeline just cut my throat, aware of the fact that she pushed me forward and that I collapsed to the ground, aware of the fact that Sydney was screaming my name and that my gaze suddenly went unfocused.

I blinked a few times and slowly moved my hand to touch my throat. I touched something sticky and warm - just as I feared. Blood. Even breathing started to hurt.

I closed my eyes, and suddenly tuned in to what was going on around me - I heard screams that sounded much like Angeline's, I heard Trey shout something that my mind deciphered as "Stop it, Sydney!" and I heard a familiar chanting in Latin. A part of me wanted to get up and help Sydney gain control, since she already lost it once, and I knew she was definitely going to lose it again now that someone's hurt me.

A part of me was scared, scared for her safety. I didn't care about Angeline or Trey, at least not now, considering that Angeline cut my throat and that I was bleeding to death.

I was dying - I was sure of it. The world kept becoming darker and darker each time I blinked, and I was so cold. I tried to ask myself what would happen if I died, who would mourn, who would even miss me, but my brain quickly dismissed the thought, making me remember all the friendly faces: Eddie, Jill, Rose, Dimitri, Lissa, Christian, mom, Jackie, Neil, maybe Marcus... and the most important person in the whole world. Sydney. If I died, it'd break her. She never loved before, and if just being left by Rose hurt like hell for me, how would it be for her_?_ How would it feel, losing the only person who understood her_?_

It does sound narcissistic now, but it was completely logical for me in that moment. It made me realize I could never do that to Sydney and that I'd fight for her. I'd stay alive, but how_?_ What could I do_?_ I couldn't heal myself, obviously, since I wasn't-

Wait a moment.

It was really hard for me to focus when all I wanted to do was close my eyes and fall asleep, but I managed to move my hand and cover my throat with my palm once again. That was the easy part.

The hard part was summoning spirit. It took me hours - at least it felt so - to find the spark of magic in myself. Strange sounds urged me forward, and I wasn't sure if I was imagining them, but it didn't matter - I had to save Sydney. _Perhaps it's Hell's Bells_, I thought to myself and I smirked, realizing it might be the last joke of Adrian Ivashkov.

Realizing that this could be the end, and that I might never see Sydney's face again, never touch her or make her shiver, or make her lose control over her body but gain control over her mind... realizing that this really might be goodbye. But there were so many things I never said to her, so many things I never did, even though I wanted to, so many things I cared about, so many people I wanted to help...

In that moment I remembered Jill, and I hoped she'd get the message somehow, because she was lying on the floor of the hallway, unconscious like everyone else.

I closed my eyes, trying to summon spirit one last time. After that, I'd give up, I told myself. It was just too hard to focus on anything.

_Goodbye, my dear Jillian, my wonderful sister, _I sent through the bond. _Goodbye and farewell._

I waited for a few seconds, imagining darkness consuming me or something, anything happening, but all I felt was as if my throat was burning.

And then I suddenly opened my eyes, and realized that I was still alive.

I didn't have time to take in my surroundings or think about the fact that the ceiling was blackened or that my hand was bloody or that I was still weak, or anything.

All I could focus on were those strange sounds I finally identified as sobs and screams and whimpers and cries, coming from three persons.

Sydney was shining, in the real sense of the word, and her aura was nuclear, full of so many colors. I'd never seen her in this state - she was really starting to remind me of an ancient Greek goddess, all in golden glory.

But there was nothing glorifying about the situation - as I approached her from behind, I saw Angeline, all bloody on the floor, whimpering and breathing heavily and making little cries echo through the room. Trey was next to her, trying to shield her with his body, and he was saying, "Please, Sydney," in a very desperate voice.

Sydney, though, wasn't listening. "Please_?_ Please what, Trey_?_ Should I let her get away with this_?_ Should I let her kill me, too_?_ She made a deal with my father to kill Adrian in order for him to trick her into a trap! Give me one reason why should I spare her_?_" At this point, she was shouting and I realized I definitely had to make an intervention.

"Because she's a desperate human being, and human beings make mistakes!" he shouted back, making her raise one hand.

"I'll give you a choice, Trey, just because I remember all the things you've done. You can either leave now, or stay and share her faith. She hurt Adrian, willingly, and now she's going to pay for it. Not you, or anyone else, is going to stop me." Sydney's voice was low and dangerous, and it sounded unnatural.

I finally found the courage to touch her right shoulder gently, whispering, "Sydney, it's enough. She's punished, and I'm okay."

She shook her head, an indigo fireball in her hand - I've never seen something like that before - never moving her eyes from Trey. "No, you're not okay, and Angeline just made it worse. Nobody's allowed to hurt you, not even yourself. She's got to pay for her choices. She betrayed us."

I touched her more firmly now, not afraid of being hurt by magic, but afraid that she was going to spontaneously combust. "Sydney," I gently said, moving my hands so that they rested on her waist and trying to turn her towards me. "I'm okay. Angeline didn't do anything to me. Can't you see that she's been punished already_?_ We need to wake Jill and Eddie up, we need to find your sister, Neil, Dimitri and Rose, and we need to get the hell out of here. Your father is looking for you, and a hallway is not a good hiding place. Let it go. This isn't you."

Sydney finally let me turn her around, towards me, and I noticed that the fireball disappeared from her hand. She turned her face towards me and glanced at my neck. "How can you say that you're okay and that she didn't hurt you_?_" she whispered intently, her voice shaking. "You've lost so much blood..."

She closed her eyes and I could see pearly tears running down her cheeks now. I could see all the feelings coming out of her, the frustration and the fear, the power and the hunger, the shock and the uncertainty, the pain and the desperation. I could also feel all the energy disappearing from her, and she was suddenly my Sydney, my Sage, the love of my life again. She was suddenly lost and scared and in need of someone to protect her.

"It's okay," I whispered, pulling her into my chest as she cried silently. "Everything will be okay, my love. Just let it all out."

I was actually surprised she was able to hold it all in her for so long. I mean, her sister getting kidnapped, Rose finding out about her relationship with me and then finding out that she was a dhampir_?_ And then almost murdering all those people with her magic_?_ Or finding out that her father is totally crazy, wanting to kill his own daughter_?_ Those things aren't easy to handle even in the safety of a home, but Sydney had to endure all of that and save all of us afterwards, before she'd get the time to cry her soul out.

Perhaps now wasn't the time, or the place, but we stood there, locked up in an embrace, silently cherishing the feeling of being wrapped in each other's arms, soothing one another and trying to find a way to solve all of this.

But the moment passed too soon, and then I caught someone in the periphery of my eye.

A girl with dark brown hair was approaching us, a mysterious long-haired guy behind her. They were both wearing black, and they were all walking fiercely, their stakes in their hands.

Rose and Dimitri.


	91. Chapter 23, part two: Re-educated

**Author's note: **_Well, today wasn't as bad and you definitely helped by being so encouraging (and btw, my eye is still in a crazy state and it probably won't get better until they get me to an operation, so that's a bug in the eye too), but what's going to demotivate me further is a maybe B, probably C in Physics I'm going to get tomorrow because I didn't cheat in the exam... I really started this year bad and it's really stressing me out.  
_

_And yeah, did I mention that I have to write at least ten pages of Chemistry until tomorrow__?_ And it's 10 PM already. Yay, I might get an F there! Just simply wonderful.

_Amsterdam by Coldplay on repeat, and I don't care anymore. _

_Oh my God, those beautiful reviews. I love you all, they really made me feel better. And can you believe, update number 91__?_ Wow, I surely overdid it, but I hope it was as much fun for you as it was for me! But it surely was hell at times, writing half-asleep and tired... but it's over now, and there are only two chapters left. (A little spoiler - ATTENTION: THE ENDING OF CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE WILL BE HARD TO READ! OR I MAYBE PUT IT AT THE BEGINNING OF CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR. I'm not sure yet.)

_Love you all! And this will be a short one since I've got so many things to do, but Friday should be a long, long answering-reviews one._

_Of course, Richelle Mead owns these characters._

* * *

The first thing I noticed was the fact that Rose wasn't walking properly - since I had a very good sight, I noticed that her hands were in front of her and that they were... tied. She was limping and her eyes were reminding me of a trapped animal. With Dimitri walking silently beside her, fierce but with his hands tied on his back, I immediately knew something was wrong. Not because their hands were tied or because they were looking very uncomfortable, but because Dimitri would never let Rose limp. Never. He'd carry her to safety and then come back into a nest full of Strigoi and kill the one responsible for hurting rose.

I immediately pushed Sydney behind me, making her stiffen. i narrowed my eyes, searching for auras, and just as I expected, there they were - a colorless aura and a confusing one, revealing to me that the person was feeling guilty. They were barely visible behind Rose's nuclear and Dimitri's worried aura, though, so it was hard for me to read them anyway.

"Sydney", I gently whispered, "I need you to be strong. Just for a little while longer. There's someone coming, someone who's holding Rose and Dimitri hostages. If it's your father, I'll protect you, but I won't do anything to him unless you say otherwise. But if it's Keith... I won't hesitate."

Sydney answered in a moment, softly whispering, "Okay." I could feel fear and determination in her voice, so I smiled, because she was still my fierce girl. Crazy and out of control, but calm and serious.

Rose and Dimitri were approaching us slowly, as if giving us time to prepare ourselves for what was coming, and I was thankful for it. After almost dying, I had to take spirit and its side effects and move them somewhere far away from this moment. It also gave Sydney time to put all her shocks and bad thoughts aside and prepare for the battle.

Rose was focused on Sydney - she wasn't blinking, or showing any type of emotions on her face, but her aura showed pity. Rose was pitying Sydney_?_ But why_?_ There was some kind of compassion and understanding in her eyes, and I raised an eyebrow, wondering if Rose found out about Sydney and the bloodlines that eventually lead to her becoming a witch, an Alchemist, a dhampir, a human, a beautiful being that was perfect in every single way.

But no, of course not. The reason for Rose's reaction to seeing Sydney here was perfectly logical and justified by the person behind her and Dimitri.

Zoe.

Zoe had a colorless, dull aura, and she was looking at her sister with a disgusted look, and as soon as she started to speak, I knew for sure her Re-education was successful.

"You are going to pay for what you've done to me," she said in a calm, cold, emotionless voice, "For making me an animal like yourself, for letting me believe you loved me, for letting me believe you were my sister. How could I be a sister to someone so... impure, unholy_?_"

Sydney gasped, obviously not realizing it was Zoe behind Rose until the moment she spoke. "Zoe," she whispered. "My little sister."

I gripped her hands and tried to move her behind me again, wanting to protect her from the pain - physical and mental. Seeing her Re-educated zombie-like sister would've been hard for anyone, but listening to her say those harsh words was even worse, especially for Sydney, who protected her little sister her whole life.

"Sage," I said gently, "stay behind me. I'll take care of them."

But of course, Sydney didn't listen. She tried to move her hands away from mine, never once moving her gaze from Zoe. "What did they do to you there, Zoe_?_ Did they hurt you, or did they just show you Strigoi and Moroi drinking blood_?_"

That seemed to get to Zoe, and I saw a spot of color in her aura for a moment. It was gone before I had the chance to identify it, though.

She turned her head away. "They showed me right from wrong. They brought me back to the right way. And they told me... _what you are_," she said in a disgusted voice.

Sydney gasped again. "I'm your sister, Zoe," she said desperately. "I always was, and the fact that I'm... what I am can't change that. It can't change all the years we spent together-"

"Shut up!" Zoe hissed, urging Rose forward. "I'm not here to listen your speeches and get deceived. I'm here to get a job done. Now, I want you to surrender, or I'll kill these two dhampirs. You don't see it, but I've got a gun on their backs and even though they're strong and fast, it'd hurt like hell and ruin their lives. So try me," she ended in a whisper.

I raised an eyebrow. "Before we become all dramatic and shoot each other, do you mind if I ask you a question_?_" I didn't wait for her approval, of course. "If you're all pure, clean and on the right way now, why do you have a dhampir, your boyfriend, if I remember correctly, next to you, supporting you in your father's plan of purifying the building by spraying our blood on the walls_?_"

After that, Zoe gulped and uncertainty flashed in her aura. Since she was a 15-year-old, I allowed myself to hope we could get her out of this zombie state. She was a smart girl, after all, though she and my Sage shared only part of their blood.

Damn it, this situation was getting complicated.

"I... I made a deal with him," she finally said, "a deal in which we help each other. Nothing more. It's just business. And he was never my _boyfriend_, just a guy I liked," she finally muttered, making Neil's face tighten. I didn't understand the guy - what deal did he make with Zoe, and why_?_ I mean, if they were in love and she was Re-educated, shouldn't he be hitting her head with a wall until she decides to snap out of it_?_ Because that's what I would've done if it was Sydney instead of her.

But no, it was obvious the guy had deeper plans. His aura kept shifting, showing a variety of unexplainable emotions, as if he wasn't sure what to do. So, he made a deal with his brainwashed girlfriend who didn't like him anymore to hold Rose and Dimitri hostages, and that was it_?_ Did he actually believe they were going to let him go_?_

I decided to stop thinking about it and I blinked, focusing on the situation. "... are you here, Zoe_?_ Shouldn't you be with dad_?_" Sydney said poisonously.

"No," she answered immediately. "The process of my Re-education wasn't... over yet, and when they just broke into the room in which I... lived, I fought against them but they were stronger and they kidnapped me." Sydney's way of therapy was obviously working, since there were flashes of colors in Zoe's aura, and her voice wasn't as cold anymore. She was actually whining, and it was very annoying.

"Kidnapped," Rose repeated.

"Shut up," Zoe said in that cold voice once again.

Well, there surely was hope for her, but if we were going to anti-Re-educate her, we needed to get out of this place as fast as possible, before Jared Sage noticed we were all gone. As if that was possible - his daughter, his other daughter, the Moroi princess, the royal Ivashkov guy and half of the building just disappeared and teleported into this hallway.

My bright thoughts were confirmed, as usual. A cold voice spoke from behind me. "Well, well. What do we have here_?_"

I turned around, now trying to shield Sydney away from that voice, and I was right to do so - in front of me stood Jared Sage, and he was grinning. Behind him was Keith, looking at me with a murderous look. And behind him were dozens of Alchemists filling up the whole hallway and making it hard to breathe.

It was time to panic, because now we were in a really hard situation.


	92. AN - and I'm sorry because of this

**Author's note:**_I won't update tonight because I had a major headache that made me feel nauseous and I almost puked, it ended up with me falling asleep on a couch, being very tired and cold later, and now my parents are worried so they won't let me be on the computer for more than 5 minutes... I also got a B in Physics (it was almost an A!) and the English project was fantastic, so yeah, today was a wonderful day. Thank you all for your support and understanding, but I really overdid it. I crossed all lines and killed all limits and now I'm paying the price. So now I'm going to go get some sleep, write a long A/N and then an even longer chapter, and I hope you all won't leave me during that time. Love you all! :)_


	93. Chapter 23, part three: Part One

**Author's note: **_Hello everyone! I've been stalling and stalling with answering your reviews, but it's Saturday and I have time (and it's only 5PM) so I'll try answering every single review you've written in the last… 5, 6 days?_

_And I'll try to comment many things – the TFH trailer, 1,000 and almost 1,100 reviews, new stories, one-shot requests, exams, health, PMs, The Mortal Instruments, VA movie poster… Yeah, I have a lot to say, so prepare for a very, very, very long A/N._

_Okay, I'll start with TFH trailer. Now that the fangirling phase passed, I must say that I'm getting more, more and more excited for the book, because I expected it to be something really, really bad and hard but it's getting obvious that the bad things are going to happen somewhere near the end (f course, it's going to be complicated, but still, Sydrian will be present through the whole book and that's a dream come true!). Yeah, many people say Nic and Daisy aren't much of an acting material, but I'm not one of them – I think they're doing their jobs wonderfully and while they aren't Sydney and Adrian but Nic and Daisy (and most people can't understand that), they are enough for me. Of course, it isn't perfect but we can all pick up on the atmosphere, understand the dialogue, think about the actual quotes or something… so yes, I liked the trailer and I'll say it again – I'm in love with it, because it shows just how in love Sydney and Adrian are going to be and that can't be a bad thing! :)_

_1,000 reviews? Yes, I was shocked and so happy when I realized my story had 1,000 reviews. It really is a dream come true – people reading and liking what I write. It means I've been doing a good job and that is the most important thing to me – what is a story worth if nobody reads it? I really don't know who the 1,000__th__ reviewer is (did I write it somewhere in previous chapters?) but I'd like to congratulate us all on achieving is. It really makes me proud of myself and of you, so I'll say this again – you can ask me to write anything, and I will. Thank you for helping me achieve this, and for being there for me every single time I need you. :)_

_1,100 reviews? This is all happening too fast, with the school keeping me busy, not having time to do anything and all… But I am really, really happy because it means you haven't abandoned me yet! So thank you for 1,077 reviews that I have currently, I've read and answered every single one of them (yes, I know, there's over 100 unanswered reviews but I'll answer them now!). :)_

_New stories? Hmm. Many of you asked me if I'd do the same thing for SS (Silver Shadows) and I said I would, when the tweets came out. I think we'll have to wait for a while for that to happen, so I'm going to stick to writing one-shots until then._

_One-shots? First of all, I know there were more requests and I told you to remind me about them, so do it now, please (I'm not sure, but I think bukwurm13 or DoughnutsForever gave me a suggestion of writing something… I don't really remember what, so forgive me :D). I'll probably write one today, one I really wanted to write for almost two weeks – and it's not anyone's request, just something about TIS :D After I finish TFH, I'm going to devote myself to one-shots completely and yes, I'll update every day unless something stops me, so I hope I'll manage to write every single request you made before TFH comes out (we still have around a month before that happens, so I have time). _

_But before any of that happens, I'm going to do a revision of TFH because I've written around 30 chapters on my phone and I made some… ridiculous mistakes. I might write a whole chapter in which I'll put those mistakes, hoping you missed them while you read TFH! So that way we'll have my story ready, in a package, all before the real TFH comes out. Then I'll actually read the story I wrote and be ready and desperate when November 19__th__ arrives! :D_

_Exams? Hmm for that too. I'm going to try and get an A in Latin on Monday (I'm going to prepare for that and impress the teacher!), I'm going to try and get an A in Psychology on Monday too and then comes resting for two days because of the holidays (Eid Mubarak), and after that I'm going to have to read and read and read Anna Karenina until I read everything because I'm going to have an exam of that book in 10 days. I still have time to take care of everything without putting too much pressure on myself, though, so I'm not worried. :)_

_My health? It's definitely better. In overall, I feel more healthy than ever before (comparing myself to 1__st__ and 2__nd__ grade in which I couldn't run 100 meters without stopping and now running and jumping around the whole time), but currently I'm still feeling as if I'm going to have a big headache, though nothing hurts, thank God. Yesterday, my body just decided to shut down and I simply had to sleep or I would've puked and collapsed and ended up in a hospital (I literally felt that way). My eye is better, but isn't better – there's something going on with the tear canal, and it can't be healed in any way other than getting an injection or going on an operation, but my doctor said that this can be healed by putting an egg on it and it'll supposedly heal on its own. Mom agreed to try this and if it doesn't get better within the next 7 days, I'm going to get that injection. The good thing is that it isn't half-closed anymore, because I stopped using the crème (which only activated the canal and it grew bigger, closing my eye). It's not a consequence of some bacteria or anything, just the tear canal being… I don't know the word :D Being closed down, not working? Thank you all for being there for me and caring for my health. Your good words meant so much to me in those bad times. I'm also getting my teeth fixed with those things they put on them for a year-two (I don't know their name neither, but I hope you get it) and it's going to be a pain in January, when they put them, but my teeth will be fixed, hopefully, so I'm happy. :)_

_PMs? It's really becoming rude, not answering them for so long so I hope I'll finish the A/N and the chapter before midnight so that I'll be able to answer them. I'm really sorry for not answering them!_

_The Mortal Instruments? Well, I watched around half an hour of the camera version, and I didn't really like it. The problem is not the thing that it's not how I imagined to be or that the actors aren't how I imagined the characters to be, it's just the fact that hey changed a part of the book and that on the camera version everything is just so dark! I couldn't really get a feeling of any kind while I watched it. It's not my final opinion, though, since I haven't even watched the whole movie and it's definitely going to change when the real version comes out! :)_

_And, finally, the VA movie poster? I can definitely say that I don't like it, because it shows the movie as some teenage-high-school thing, while VA is definitely more. People are going to expect some movie for teenagers in which there's a school and people fall in love and those things, but that's not the impression I got while I read book number one! And there's Dimitri, too, why isn't he on the poster? Ah, I simply don't like it._

_Anyone watching Supernatural and being in love with Sam, Dean and Crowley? And wishing Bobby was back? Because I don't have anyone to discuss it with, and I'm just so… so frustrated._

_Now finally, let's answer all those amazing reviews:_

_1. __**Rebelde09:**_

_- review number one: I definitely agree with that – I love with guys able to fight for and defend their girls! The worst is yet to come, but I won't give you time to cry or be sad because the next day I'm going to solve it (or at least try). _

_- review number two: Yeah, Jill is fierce :D And of course, thank God someone actually remembered Adrian was able to heal others! Don't we all love him? ;D_

_- review number three: I like Angeline, but I think she can easily be deceived and that she's too naïve to realize how big her mistakes are… Adrian is going to get hurt, I'll just say that, but you all probably already know that. _

_- review number four: Nah, I don't know if I could bear Adrian dying. Sorry about the heart attack :D You have nothing to be sorry for, the C isn't the problem but the reason I got it… I mean, one word? Really? And then she intimidated me! I really wanted to strangle her. Yeah, I have Latin for only a month but already there are Spanish words: "est," "amigo" and similar… so I can somehow manage to find the meaning of the words, because I watched those soap operas when I was a kid! Especially Rebelde Way ;D Good luck with Spanish, I hope God is going to help me with Latin too. Thank you so much for the support and wonderful words and just simply bothering to say anything. Thank you again :) _

_2. __**TheHappyLol:**_

_- review number one: Oh my God, I hope hurting Eddie wasn't too hard for you. Don't cry! Oh my God, handicapped! Imagine me laughing hysterically – I mean, no, just no! I love Eddie too much to do anything bad to him and I love Adrian even more. Is your knee okay? I know the feel :( _

_- review number two: Yup, Sydney is a dhampir and Jared is a warlock. People, run away as fast as you can, Angeline is here! :D_

_- review number three: No, no, Angeline is still one of the good guys! And a no again, you'll cry later, in two or three chapters, when bad things really start to happen. This is just the beginning. _

_- review number four: Mwahahah, imagine a crazy scientist laugh. But it's not final *hint hint* Don't cry! It's going to be okay, I promise! :) _

_3. __**happygirl0987:**_

_- review number one: A short one, but you always manage to make me smile with your sentences! :)_

_- review number two: It really was unexpected? I tried to put as many hints as possible, but I guess I wasn't too straightforward with uncovering that secret._

_- review number three: To be honest, I can't believe she cut Adrian's throat either. _

_4. __**sheerio4ever:**_

_- review number one: I laughed so hard when you said "Drown him!" :D_

_- review number two: Yes, Jared Sage is a warlock! But Sydney is far more powerful… And Trey was an internal joke, there for my personal satisfaction :D I did totally forget about Carly and when I read your review, I was like, "Oh-oh, now I screwed it up," but with my crazy mind spinning, I managed to find a solution for it! Thank you so much for every single word of support, you know how much it means to me._

_- review number three: Yup, now you're all touchy and romantic because Marcus turns out to be one of the good guys after all? ;D Love you again! :)_

_- review number four: Always reviewing and making me smile even in the darkest of hours… Thank you so much, you know how much it means to me. _

_- review number five: Don't faint! There's still hope for Angeline. And yeah, I'm a pirate *sighs* And it's just so funny! :D_

_- review number six: *sighs* It was a hard day, with everyone looking at me as if I had three heads or something. But you managed to make me smile by constantly calling me "pirate Ehlimana!" *rolling my eyes and giggling* It was almost, Adrian is still alive, don't worry :D And don't make me laugh again! The fan club would be consisted of you and maybe 10 other persons, everyone else decided to leave :P_

_- review number seven: Kodaline. Okay. I'm going to look her up but I already forgot about it because I'm so lost in what people told me to do :D I actually listened to On Raglan Road and I'm just more in love (if it's even possible) with the song because it's just so awesome! I really love Ireland, I was always more of a Scottish type but now that I see all the beautiful things Ireland has… I'm all for Ireland now :D Oh my God, I hope it went well! And all the homework I have, it's awful. Aah, I want the next chapter! And I'm supposed to read you're the Host fanfic too, but I'm so lost in all these things… argh, now I' just more curious about what happened, when I last read Ian lost his memory! Oh my God, how can I live with myself while not reading further? :O _

_- review number eight: Oh no, you won't, because I'm okay now! Just look at what I've written today, and thank God, no headaches. Thank you so much! :)_

_5. __**rainy:**_

_- review number one: I'm so glad you liked the scene with Jill finally taking care for herself! :D And thank you so much for supporting me, you have no idea how much those words meant to me in times when I decided to skip a night or two, while feeling so guilty… _

_- review number two: Yes, I actually managed to surprise you all :D I'm not supposed to uncover anything because it's going to happen in chapter twenty-three! Everything is going to happen in chapter twenty-three. Yes, I believe that in RM's real TFH the Alchemists are going to end up being a crazy organization too because they're just… morbid, and there's definitely something very bad that happened in the organization's past. Thank you so much for every single thing you ever wrote, I love talking to you and I'm really glad you decided to start reviewing. Please don't be shy to tell me when you post your stories, I have a very good feeling that I'm going to love them too! :)_

_- review number three: I kind of couldn't let Sydney hurt Trey without even blinking. And yeah, I kind of didn't know what to do when Adrian was dying but then I remember he was able to heal himself :D My body decided to shut down when I overdid it, but I'm okay now and I'll try not to overdo it! Thank you for all the support, I really needed it. Good luck with everything you have to do, too! :) _

_- review number four: Oh my God, you read it all again? That's just… awesome, although I think the story must've been funny, especially since you knew what was going to happen :D Ah, that chapter was just a huge… mistake, written in a very bad mood and it should've been a bridge for the next ones, but I realized I made so many awful mistakes in it that it's not even funny anymore. No, no, of course it's not a bad review, you're my friend! And you're telling me about a mistake just like a friend would! Thank you for it, really :) And I'm honored to receive such a wonderful compliment (although it's not true) :D_

_- review number five: I rested and I really had to answer these reviews, so it was a good day :D My eye isn't half closed anymore because I stopped using the crème, but it's still reddish and swollen! :( Thank you for caring and for cheering me on :) _

_6. __**Bloodlines-Addict:**_

_- review number one: No problem; I love answering my reviews! :) I'm really glad you think like that, and I'm really thankful because it means so much to me! And oh my God, don't compare me to Richelle :O When you read TFH, you're going to remember what you said and laugh because it's ridiculous; I'm not even a 1% writer like her! I try to be funny throughout the chapters and while I mostly fail to make my readers laugh, too, I still laugh myself while writing it :D I was really trying to connect the dots there and though I surely missed a thing or two I had in plan, I think that I connected and uncovered all the major things (though there's more to come! ;D). Of course I could to that one-shot, but ahh, I don't have the list again so please remind me again in a review or a PM or somehow tomorrow, because I know I'll forget! :( You aren't a freak or anything, from your kind words I get the vibe that you're wonderful and caring, so don't think that! I sometimes think I'm just that: some internet-obsessed freak who has no real friends to talk to, or more like they don't care (except for my parents, brother and sister :D), and I bet you're going to tell me I'm not? :P Oh my God, thank you for updating me on all those things, I actually went out with a friend of mine that loves THG and I knew about the second movie so she didn't think I'm some highlander! :D Yup, TFH on November 19__th__, the next trailer tomorrow, Vampire Academy on February 14__th__, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug on December 13__th__, my birthday on December 30__th__, The Mortal Instruments: City of Heavenly Fire in April, 2014, The Shadowhunter Codex on October 29__th__… So many exciting things! :D Oh my God, I didn't mean it like that, I just got used to getting around 20 reviews every day and then suddenly people stopped sharing their thoughts with me, and I miss that :( I'm not really all about getting thousands of reviews and that, I'm more for meeting new people and seeing if they understand me, my ambitions, plans and wishes, having fun and I must say that I found that here! I met many people, good people, people who listen and talk and don't judge… I really would love to go to school with these girls, it'd be just awesome. My friend found an actor for Eddie, he's not perfect but has that positive, guardian, self-sacrifice vibe around him (I'll update you on that one), and for Adrian I'm definitely a Nic Wheeler girl. First of all, his name is Nicholas and that's a really special name. Second of all, we were born on the same day, and that is, like, awesome! Third of all, he is so gorgeous that it's impossible to even look at him, and fourth, his real brown eyes are so beautiful that I must swoon now. Yeah, I know, he's not the Adrian I initially had in my mind, but now he is, because I just got used to the idea of him playing Adrian. As for Sydney, I'd take Daisy because the other girl people want for Sydney is just… not Sydney, just like Max Irons simply isn't Adrian, at least not for me. It just keeps annoying me, how people tell Nic and Daisy are bad and all while they actually try to get into the role and everything, and for me, trying counts far more than actually looking like someone. Daisy really isn't physically Sydney, but she is so nice and wonderful and positive that I'd take her anyway! :) And as for Jill, I'd take some fragile, cute, skinny, light-brown-haired girl that ran off a model casting :D Thank you so much for this wonderful review! :)_

_- review number two: So, not answering your reviews was a good thing, then? :P I think I'm going to stick with the term "warlock," partially because of TMI and TID, and partially because I heard a male witch being called like that many times. Yes, that is definitely an explanation, because for example, I always couldn't understand why she was such a good player at school when she was, like, anorexic? So that came up as the solution :D We'll see about Marcus, Zoe and Carly too, but I can immediately tell you none of them knows it. I hope I explained it better in latter chapters, but I'll try to make it simple here: Jared+1/4 dhampir = Sydney and Marcus; Sydney's mom + some random guy = Carly; Jared + Sydney's mom = Zoe :D Yup, I practically made you all hate Keith because the stories in which he ended up being the good guy just simply aren't my style. Thank you so much on your support for the reviews, it's awesome! :) Oh my God, you didn't offend me or say anything bad, I don't even know where that thought came from? Ah, you're on holidays, I'm craving them but I have to wait for another 3 days (hopefully, I'll survive! :D). Thank you so much and don't apologize for the spelling, if there were mistakes I certainly didn't try to find them! :)_

_7. __**spaztronaut**__: _

_- review number one: Here's an advice – the longer you prolong something, the more painful it'll get. I prolonged a movie for my friend and after months of not doing it, it ended up almost catastrophically and even though it was funny and cute for her, it was far more awful and different than what I thought it'd be! That's why, when I start writing, I finish writing as soon as possible – I know that, as soon as a few hours pass, I'll lose the thought I started during the chapter and it'll all end up badly. That's not the situation with you, though, because all your chapters are awesome! :D_

_- review number two: Yup, TFH is coming out in a month and I'm going to sit there and judge their acting? I mean, really? No, I'm going to fangirl and watch the trailer a thousand times and I'll give a damn about their acting because it's not crucial, the quotes and the trailers are! :D Yup, TFH is going to be amazing and it's going to get us all a heart disease but I think it's worth the wait :D And then we'll all die when we realize we're going to have to wait for SS too? Oh my God, it's going to be crazy. _

_- review number three: I'm glad you think so, I just remember pouring everything out in that chapter, because I was just so sad and stressed out and angry and… it really was a bad day. And when the start of the chapter erased itself somehow, I sat there with my mouth widely open, thinking whether I should just give up or try again purposely! Thank you so much for the support! These reviews definitely made the next day better! :)_

_8. __**MilankaLovesMetal:**_

_- review number one: Oh my God! Milan! You're back! Let me hug you! *tries to hold back tears and fails* I don't hate you, I just thought you forgot about me, but it's okay! You have nothing to be sorry for! I'm just so… so euphoric because you came back. And I'm wondering if you still hate Marcus :D_

_- review number two: Yes, Jared is definitely sick. I love my dad and picturing a father this way really is hard for me, but it's just how I think Jared is going to end up. And yes, I managed to shock you! :D Thank you so much, Milan, you know how much I love your reviews._

_9. __**Guest**__:_

_- This one got me through the day, because I thought it was a total disaster. Thank you! :)_

_10. __**Totalbooknerd13**__: _

_- review number one: I'm laughing. English phrases are just so… ridiculous! :D I might actually let him die in a hole._

_- review number two: :(_

_- review number three: Hope this chapter hadn't scared you too much? _

_- review number four and five: Again with the hole, making me laugh! :D You have no idea just how ridiculous that sentence sounds when it's translated to my language :D_

_- review number six and seven: Aww, thank you so much. Your reviews always make me feel a bit better for deciding not to update. :) _

_11. __**Percabethlvrknowsall**__:_

_- review number one: I LOVE your reactions. They're simply priceless. I'm going to make an alarm for myself that'll remind me to listen all the songs from your playlist as soon as I get home *gets my phone* Thank you for deciding to share this with me! :)_

_- review number two: Oh my God, I'm so sorry for doing that to you :O But if that made you cry…. What is going to happen in two, three chapters then? I'm seriously going to warn you now, the ending of chapter 23 and the whole chapter 24 will hurt like hell :(_

_- review number three: Oh my God, can I take all of those presents, for real? And those guys? First of all, don't cry, please :( *hands you a thousand tissues and gives you a hug* Aww, that was so touching, really, I needed all those things. I was really in a bad state, the girls just being so… I don't know the exact word… when someone isn't thankful, but throws all that you tried hard for into the water? And at first I was mad, but then I just… I had to stop myself from crying. And then the next morning our teacher played a movie about the war for us and I started to cry and cried for half an hour, while everyone just looked at me weirdly. And I think it made my eye's condition worsen. But I really am okay now, because I have my family and my friends, my reviewers, everyone I love here, next to me, and they're ready to kill anyone who touches me! So thank you, thank you so much. _

_- review number four: Oh my God, don't cry, please! It just makes me think about how you'll react when seriously bad things start to happen so… be strong! And I'll be with you, all of you when the bad things happen and I'll be crying with you :( _

_12. __**jpitt**__: _

_- review number one: I'm glad I surprised you! It was an idea I had from maybe chapter three._

_13. __**Katrick:**_

_- review number one: I think it's because of the camera! Everything was so dark and I could barely hear what they were saying, so I can't really give you a real opinion :D _

_- review number two: I'm going to hide behind a pillow now, because I don't want to get stabbed! Just kidding, of course, and love you! :)_

_- review number three: You didn't get mad because of that chapter, right? :O_

_- review number four: Eddie is okay, of course! And I hope Keith is worse than me :D You rock!_

_- review number five: Yeah, Jared really is sick and twisted. There are at least 7 more chapters and that is awesome! Already on 117 pages! When I remember, writing a hundred pages two years ago took me almost a year… So you're awesome! :D_

_- review number six: Take rest, headaches are awful. Thank you for taking time to review, as always, and I'm looking forward to reading your other reviews! :) _

_- review number seven: Okay, someone good is going to get hurt so please don't hunt me down and kill me :( because it's going to end up solved, no matter how awful and pointless it sounds! _

_-review number eight: Don't be worried. I'm okay. Thank you so much :) _

_- review number nine: Aww, that dream is so cute. Oh no, don't ruin the moment, kidnappers! I hate when that happens :( No problem, but I want to know what happened! Who kidnapped her? Good luck on Monday, I hope everything's okay. Don't worry about me, I'm fine, you go rest. Thank you so much, you're the best and love you! :)_

_- review number ten: Thank you so much, I'm flustered by that compliment! You're amazing. :)_

_14. __**PyroIvashkovator:**_

_- review number one: Ooooh, a new reviewer! You know how excited I am because of this fact :D Yeah, it's all kind of messed up but I'm trying to explain it as thoroughly as possible, without leaving holes to think about behind. Thank you so much on encouragement, and I must mention your username! It's awesome! :D_

_- review number two: Of course, that's why Jared isn't even trying to fight her + he's disgusted of the fact that he's a magic yielder, but he has a few tricks up his sleeve! It'll be in this chapter, I think, or in the next one, but very soon. No problem, I love long reviews, and everything you said makes perfect sense! :) _

_- review number three: I'm sorry for the cliffhanger :( _

_15. __**bukwurm13:**_

_- review number one: Are you actually apologizing? Good luck with assignments, although I know you'll score the best grades on all of them. And yeah, Adrian is becoming a knight in the shining armor! And even though I know everything I wrote is wrong and is nothing like TFH, I know that Adrian is going to be a brave person. And I think that the character development is the most important. Please, please remind me to write the spirit dream as a one-shot, it'd be such an interesting development! :) And yeah, go Adrian! :D_

_- review number two: Of course, that's kind of my big plan too, because money isn't really valuable to me, while other things, such as, for example, love, is the thing that makes me do crazy things… Eddie didn't die! :D Thank you so much for that, I'm so honored to earn those words from someone like you._

_- review number three: Sydney was definitely in a very bad position, finding out about all those things and actually becoming a fool that believed in a system while she was a proof of that system's failure? I like the term 'devil reincarnate,' I think it suits Jared perfectly :D And imagine Marcus in that position, lost, not knowing what to do? He's just a victim, too, so I don't blame him. And oh, if only Sydney had time to deal with anything… I really don't want to write chapter twenty-four, it's going to be one hell of a chapter. As for my eye, I believe I hit myself while I was taking a shower because it started to grow and redden and act strangely after that? And it happened, like, two months ago! Praying for you and everyone you love too. :)_

_- review number four: I'm astonished myself. I mean, 1k reviews? Wow. Just simply wow. Yup, Sydney definitely has to sit down and have a talk with Marcus after all of this is over, and since I have a brother myself, I know just how much she gains with getting a brother. But on the other hand, she never really had a father, right? Because in my opinion, the most important thing about the father-daughter bond is being the person to who the hard, manly and brave and strict father is kind and gentle and nice to. For me it's amazing, seeing your father be smart, wise and having to deal with so many people but then coming home and smiling widely when you run to him and scream, "Daddy!" I'm almost 17, and I still do that :D There are more things up my sleeve, and even though people think it's weird, making her related to Victor, I kind of loved Victor. And when he died I was… I was so… I don't know, shocked. He was one of those bad guys I loved, with his brother, of course. I know, I know, I'm crazy! Ahh, you noticed that moment too! What is it supposed to mean? Is it supposed to mean what I think it means? Because if it does, I'm going to melt and die and then reincarnate while reading the book! It'd just mean so much… Yes, we both sound like teenagers and it's okay since I'm still a teenager :D But I actually had to watch that damned trailer, two times, with my friend present, and not scream or even show any positive emotion. And I actually pulled it off while I wanted to jump around and hug trees! :D_

_- review number five: Angeline, Angeline, she's going to hit the wall with her head. Hard. But she's still one of the good guys, just kind of gone crazy for a moment. She actually believed in that, just walking away out of a building full of Alchemists and having her happily ever after :D But she isn't thinking rational or with her mind, but with her heart! And you'll see about that one too (to be honest, I didn't even think of that when I decided Angeline should try to kill Adrian, it kind of just happened :D). Ooooh, you swore :D_

_- review number six: It's not the end of the world but was simply… unfair. I was sitting there, expecting an A, and then she simply says, "C." And I'm sitting there, watching her and trying to figure out if she's joking or something. But it's passed, so I don't want to even think about it anymore… My "friends" made me laugh because they again didn't let me put things I wanted in that English project! So that day I just went to the teacher and told her, "I can't present this, because I don't like it, I think it's awful." And she asked me what I wanted to do and I told her and she told me we had another day to make the project again. It ended up well, with me losing the text I was supposed to read so I went out in front of the whole class like a boss and invented everything. So that's a phew :D That was a good logical thinking! But you'll see the difference… soon… I probably shouldn't have said that. Yeah, Sydney's awesome and I really started to be familiar with these characters and their thoughts through this summer and fall… it'll be hard, parting with the story, but I think it served its purpose – keeping us all alive until TFH. Yay, I'm glad the chapter's ending made you happy! :D_

_- review number seven: Yeah, I knew that, hope the explanation from the beginning of the A/N was enough? I could give you a couple of Latin names too :D And high five for being nerds! :) Mwahahah, you're just reading that chapter, though nobody knows about it except for us ;D You'll see about Zoe, though, but why do you think she's crazy? That's hilarious :D And yeah, I was all Awwww while writing it. Adrian is just… awesome. And you're probably right about that one too…_

_- review number eight: No, I didn't have time to read the PMs, I just answered them so that you wouldn't think I abandoned you or decided not to answer or something. You see, I listened to you! Thank you so much, and I imagine you trying to stare me down while I hide behind my laptop. :D_

_16. __**Mabes123**__:_

_- Whoa, whoa, did I just get a new shocked reviewer? Thank you for deciding to share the shock with me! :)_

_17. __**DoughnutsForever:**_

_- review number one: After answering your reviews, this A/N is going to have around 20k words :D Now we're going to stalk Richelle and wait for Q and A, but I totally forgot what we're going to ask her? :D Ahh, about Neil, right :D I'm going to call FBI to check on him ;D And you know what, that Abe hypothesis works perfectly! First, because he shows up in TFH. Second, because in BL he told Adrian to "watch and report it to him," and Adrian definitely didn't do that, so Abe needs his sources! Ah, I know the feel, I'm a stalker too, but imagine me, trying to keep the uninterested expression in front of my best friend while internally being, OH MY GOD DID I JUST SEE THAT AND DID HE JUST SAY THAT TO HER; OH MY GOD THAT IS SO HOT AND YESS, THEY KISSED AND OMG OMG OMG! :D You understand my feelings too :P My logical thought was, "Alicia isn't dead and she's going to come back," but that much was obvious in TIS, right? Because they didn't find her body, she didn't get to drain her fourth and Sydney hurt her pretty badly, so she's definitely going to come back. But immediately? Nah, I think she's going to plan something and Richelle is going to make her come back right when we forget about her. *narrows my eyes and tries to think like Richelle* And good luck with trying to convince Adrian not to get himself hurt in order to be able to heal. He'd rather take a bullet than watch Sydney take one and then take it out. I really don't understand why she's doing that (okay, I do, it's because the books will be memorable, bla bla bla, but still!) because I'm not sure if I'll be able to! Thank God, I got a refund of my money because paying 150 $ for 4 books is ridiculous, and I ordered TID for my friend and now we're waiting to see if it's going to be okay. Amazon is where I pre-order, but the shipping is 20$ (okay, when I buy it with my friend it's 10$ each so it's not too much :D), so thank you so much! I wouldn't be able to read a chapter a day, just look at what I've done with this series, reading the whole BL, TGL and TiS in two days! :D Just try hurting Eddie or Adrian, Richelle, I challenge you. I'm going to unlike your page and throw a book around the room if you do! I answered all these questions about the chapter, right? But you were so excited and it's adorable! :D You're definitely more amazing than me. :)_

_- review number two: Yup, I prepared you for this and I suppose it ended up being fine, right? :) Yay, I'm so glad! :D_

_- review number three: Why do you all suddenly love Marcus? :P And Eddie *sighs happily* Please, please, please remind me about Jill being fierce one-shot, I think it's the third people asked for in these reviews :D Of course, I'll do it! :) And you know Sydney, she always thinks the opposite. I'm not sure if we'll get Adrian's exact thoughts on that matters, since it's all going to be a chaos and then the big awful moment will happen, but I want you to know that in my opinion, he thinks it explains so many things about her and… to hell with this, I'm going to write his thoughts in a certain point and it's going to be so fluffy. Thank you so much, my friend! :) _

_- review number four: Yeah, great. A C and a B. And a major headache afterwards… Love you and thank you for supporting me in such a dark hour! :)_

_- review number four: It was one hell of a day, everything colliding on top of my head. But I really am fine now, just deciding not to think about it. And my teacher told me "it was a major mistake" and that it's worth of a C! A C! And then she shook her head, "You'll have to try harder, Ehlimana." So I widened my eyes and asked myself whether I should make her eat my exam and end up in a hospital and if it's worth of visiting the principal's office :D Thank you, thank you! FanFiction really became some kind of a therapy for me :D It'll be okay with Angeline, trust me :P Thank you *hugs you back* you really made my night better with that review, it helped me take a deep breath and get through it all. And gimme those doughnuts! :D_

_- review number five: I'm sorry, but I had to! Oh my God, that word is awesome… anti-Re-educatable! :D You'll see about Neil, he is a big part of the plan (or at least those are my current plans). As you can see, I'm stalling and stalling, and stalling the end… I just can't part with this story! Yup, we'll stalk other stories (and invent one-shots, of course), and when TFH comes out… there'll be long PMs, I can sense it! :D I actually hit myself (I probably mentioned that a couple of times already in this A/N, but I'm kind of lost with so many reviews that need to be answered). Latin wasn't hard, it was one word! *sigh* but I'm going to kill her with my knowledge on Monday! Thank you, thank you, thank you! *gives you a biiiig hug*Love you too! :) _

_- review number six: Yeah, rough days… but they're over, thank God. Yup, I'm glad about Physics, thank God it's not a C! :D Thank you for the good words! :) _

_18. __**Sam1405:**_

_- review number one: Aww, Sam! You're back, too! I believe you, school's been awful to me, too, and I hope you worked it all out. Thank you so much and I really hope you won't be disappointed because this week there were short chapters, short author's notes and bad chapters :( love you, and hope everything's okay! :)_

_- review number two: Oh my God, Sam, you have nothing to be sorry for! You're just so nice. The week ended nicely, or at least the school days, and the weekend has been okay so far, so I hope it'll end up okay too! :) I really can't believe that I wrote 90 chapters, it really is an amazing achievement. Do you remember, chapter 8 or 9, when it was all much more carefully written, revised a thousand times and every single review answered in PMs? It was such a great time, no school or anything, but with the moving and all the stress… I surely had a stressful, but a peaceful summer, too! And of course, I'm smiling, just remembering all the good days and funny reviews and chapters that hadn't developed into anything :D Thank you so much, I remember you reviewing you somewhere around chapter two or three, that was simply beautiful. And still supporting me, after all that time? I believe only HopperIvashkinator, TheHappyLol and Totalbooknerd13 are left, with you, of course, everyone else started reviewing later! And I found something to make me smile – you! Thank you so much, Sam. :)_

_19. __**Catchick10:**_

_- Yay! Another new reviewer! Thank you for your kind words :)_

_20. __**SoZina:**_

_- review number one: Oh my God, no! Of course I don't hate you! I don't even remember what happened with Trey afterwards, to be honest :D We'll see about Sydney hurting people, though. I'm still not sure what to do there :D I haven't watched Vampire Diaries, mostly in protest because my best friend is crazy about that TV show and I'm standing there for three years already, listening to her scream, "Oh my God, he is so handsome!" while she can't stand me scream, "Oh my God Adriaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan." :D I just had to make Marcus end up as one of the good guys, but I had to make him not be in love with Sydney too, because it just annoyed and scared me in TIS! It's okay, really, about everything :)_

_- review number two: Yay! I'm really glad I didn't let Adrian's injury escalate too, it'd just make everything complicated. Yeah, I definitely felt like Sydney with all the pressure but I'm okay now! :) Thank you so much for the support, though. Fierce? More like, hostages, but still, it's better when Romitri is there! :D Sorry for the cliffhangers, I hate them too, but I had to do it :D_

_21. __**casstella:**_

_- Ah, you know Angeline, believing everyone to be honest and stick to their word… And Trey didn't know, he was trapped with Marcus and Sydney while Angeline made the arrangements and deals! I'm sorry if you had to wait for too long for the next chapter, but I was going through a very hard day. Of course, who even likes the Alchemists? I certainly don't! _

_22. __**Gg:**_

_- review number one: You'll see about everything soon, very soon. ;D_

_- review number two: I'm sorry for the cliffhanger! And of course, Zeil will come back, it'll just make things more complicated now but Zoe will come back… as you probably already know, things are not how they seem! Thank you so much, love the review :)_

_23. __**Guest:**_

_- That means "good job," right? :D_

_24. __**HopperIvashkinator:**_

_- review number one: Sis, oh sis, I hope you're not mad at me for not responding to your PM, but as you can see, I'm so busy and can't respond anything (I'm trying to do things one by one). Eddie lived, that's what matters! And Keith is starting to annoy me too, just writing about him tires me. _

_- review number two: Yup, Sydney's a dhampir, Jared is a warlock, and Sydney is related to Dashkovs (though she's not evil, of course). I can't wait to read your other reviews, sis! :)_

_- review number three: Sydney's still in a very vulnerable, crazy state, and I'm really feeling sorry for her because she just has so much to endure without being allowed to take a break and take it all in… I mean, she just found out she's a dhampir. And now she has to fight her father, while her sister is Re-educated and she hurt her own newly-found brother. _

_- review number four: Oh my God, don't cry, sister! :( I'm sorry for making you cry. And it's happening, but I'm going to solve it! I promise!_

_- review number five: I don't need you? If I didn't have you, none of this would've been possible, never forget that! And never underestimate yourself! I'll try quoting Adrian, "You have no idea how brightly you burn and how brightly you shine," I think it was something like that. But the point is, you are the most important person in all of this, encouraging me before the start! Without you, I would've been a teenager sitting in front of a computer. Because of you, I'm something more. _

_- review number six: Oh my God, I totally forgot about that *facepalm* Always know that I love you too, sister, and that I'm always here for you, no matter what! Thank you, sis, for everything you've done for me._

_25. __**jaffacake:**_

_- A new reviewer! Yay! :D Thank you so much, hope your sister is better too, because I'm feeling totally okay now. And of course, hope you're not disappointed because of this so long A/N. Don't be afraid to review again! :)_

_26. __**Ann:**_

_- Thank you so much, new reviewer, every support is welcome! :)_

_27. __**KyKat:**_

_- Yeah, I guess it's all kind of shocking :D And it was for me, too, I didn't expect many things to happen this way but the story's uncovering and developing on its own! Thank you so much for your support! :) _

_It's 11:10 PM and I'm done with around 8k words. As you guess, no chapter tonight, but this really was a big deal and it took around 6 hours, but I did it and I'm proud! :D_

_Now just for the record, let's count how many reviews I just answered: 90 (if I counted correctly). Wow, that was brave, and I'm so glad I managed to answer them all._

_So now all that's left is to thank you all on reading and being devoted and supporting me in the bad and the good moments, cheering me on, being so wonderful and understanding and just… simply a community of people that take anything I give to them and don't complain. It's amazing, just being able to be a part of something like this. Thank you, really. I love you all, and I think that you can see just how much your support and every single word you ever wrote means to me._

_And for those who read but don't review, I'm sorry._

_Once again, love you and see you tomorrow! Now that I don't have so many reviews to answer (but I still have PMs), I'll hopefully have time for a long, long chapter. Be prepared for angst and crying, it's going to happen soon but you'll be warned!_


	94. Chapter 23, part three: Part Two

**Author's note: **_It's 11:30 PM and I'm just starting, so no answering reviews but I must say that I love you all. Forgive me, but I simply had to write that one-shot that's going to continue in the next chapter (I think it'll be chapter 22?), if I have time tomorrow (and I'm going to have it :D). I'll have plenty of time, I hope, to answer your reviews tomorrow too, so don't be mad! :)_

_And just a short one – I didn't really like the VA trailer since it was so confusing, but I definitely like everything that has Danilla in it! And I don't like Dominic Sherwood. _

_I'm experiencing problems with my phone, there's a virus in it. Yay!_

_Finally, a chapter I'm starting lucid, not half-asleep and actually caring about the previous chapters (not like before, Rose and Dimitri were coming in fiercely with stakes and then suddenly they're hostages? I mean, wth?)_

_So, enjoy this one, and be prepared for a very bad moment. I'm not sure when, but soon._

_Love you all, and thank you! :)_

_The characters aren't mine. They belong to Richelle Mead._

Okay, Adrian. So now let's try and see the situation.

Rose and Dimitri are hostages of an unstable Zoe and her crazy ex-boyfriend Neil who obviously has some deeper plans, but we can't count on him.

Angeline is almost dead, and Trey was on the run, so no help there either.

Jill and Eddie were both unconscious, in God knows what state, hit by a powerful spell Sydney used on the Alchemists that were attacking us. And oh, don't forget Marcus. He was unconscious too.

Sydney was unstable, hysteric and somewhere between breaking down and killing everyone in the room. I lost much blood, spirit was making me dizzy and I wasn't sure for how much longer I'd be able to keep the darkness away.

Jared, Keith and a new army of Alchemists, all-in-white, were standing in front of and behind us, so there was nowhere to run to. I tried to shield Sydney with my body, but I failed – she was already glaring at her father, shaking and sending streaks of red into my field of vision with her aura.

"You," she said venomously, "This is all your fault."

Jared, of course, laughed. "No, my dear. This is all _your_ fault. If you just stayed the good little Alchemist, there'd been no need for killing a royal Moroi, the queen's best guardians and a teenager. There'd been no need for taking your sister to Re-education and you to the path of the desperate. There'd been no need to torture your brother and there'd been no mess. Everything would've stayed fine. But no. You had to search, you had to ask, you had to try being smart and end up a blonde. You forget that I'm your father, after all, and that I know all your tricks and thoughts."

I stood in front of Sydney, breaking the staring contest between them. "No, you don't know her," I fiercely said. "You know nothing about her. You knew her weaknesses, but she changed. Now you know nothing, because you never even cared about her interests and opinions. You always treated her like a machine or some being that's less worth, but you never even tried to see her as your daughter. That's what makes you disgusting."

Jared laughed again, smirking evilly and making me want to punch him and wipe that stupid smirk off his face. "Disgusting? I, at least, can look into the mirror and know how pure I am. You, and the… the creature that's hiding behind you, are disgusting. I'm doing a favor to the human kind by trying to purify my daughter, but you? I'll do a favor to the human kind by killing you."

Sydney fought her way in front of me once again. "Just try to touch him," she said in a low voice. "Just try, and I swear on God, I'm going to chant the most powerful spells on the world and make you wish you were dead."

"Sydney," I whispered under my breath, hoping Jared couldn't hear. "Don't do that."

Again, I knew she understood the meaning of my words completely – _Don't do that_ meant _Don't say those things because of me. I'm not worth of your health and time._

She decided to ignore me, though, by listening to her father talk. "Oh, you wouldn't hurt me. I'm your father, after all, and only a beast can cut off the very hand who fed her."

Sydney swallowed. "Try me," she said in a rough voice. "Adrian means to me more than you ever could, and did. I'd choose him over you in the blink of an eye. So go ahead and try me."

I knew she was bluffing, though in the same time she wasn't – now, she was because she knew she would never be able to hurt her own father, but if something happened to me, she wouldn't stop until he was punished. Judging by Angeline, her vision of "punishment" was something very, very painful.

Jared's smirk finally vanished. "I know you wouldn't hurt your own-"

I cut him off. "Why did you put a price on my head, when you need me to heal you? Bet you didn't say anything about that to your daughter."

I raised my eyebrows suggestively, crossing my eyes over my chest, and I heard Sydney gasp. "Dad?" she asked uncertainly. "What's wrong?"

Damn it, she was weak, but I didn't blame her. With everything on her plate, the last thing she needed was to find out about her father being sick. I found her hand and touched her fingers slightly with my hand, as if to comfort her.

"I…" Jared started, then glanced at our hands and immediately made a disgusted, horrified expression. He crossed himself, and muttered, "God have mercy on their souls."

I decided to ignore him, so I realized Keith was silent, too silent for it to be normal. He was just standing there, looking at us poisonously, as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't.

I raised an eyebrow. "Why isn't the dog barking?" I asked teasingly, making Jared break his trance and glance at him.

"He's serving his punishment for being an Alchemists we're all ashamed of."

I rolled my eyes. "You still hadn't answered my question," I said fiercely, changing the subject. "Why do you want me dead, if you need me to heal you?"

Jared looked me as if the answer was obvious. "Because I read in the records you aren't a good healer, and I found a real one. There's the queen, Vasillisa, and there's her friend, Sonya Tanner. I'm not sure how the situation will develop, but I believe the queen would be better, since her past doesn't involve turning into one of… them willingly."

So I was practically useless now, and all Jared wanted was to get rid of me. "Now should we finish this quickly, or slowly?" he said, sounding slightly annoyed and raising a hand, as if giving the sign for shooting.

Sydney immediately moved in front of me, raising her hands in a mysterious, gentle way, the movement contradicting its purpose. It was a warning – _If you shoot, I shoot_.

"Sydney," I said again, but she immediately shook her head. I sighed. She was just so complicated sometimes.

But then Jared laughed. "I'm not afraid of you, daughter," he said coldly. "First of all, I'm stronger and definitely more experienced than you, so if you wish to fight me, you may. Second, do you see the people behind me? They have guns, and if I give them the sign, they'll kill you before you even say _Cheese._"

"Cheese," Sydney said and clasped her hands tightly together. It made all the lights in the hallway turn off and the earth started to quake. If I wasn't holding her in front of me, I would've panicked, but now I had no reason to.

Or maybe I did. Sydney was controlling the magic, and now it was out of control. Yeah, I did want to see Jared and Keith dead, but if we were in danger – all of us – was it worth it? I wasn't sure.

But then a strong and soft voice said, "Stop."

Sydney immediately put her hands down. The lights turned on again, the earth stopped quaking and all Alchemists stood there, looking at the voice's thoughts.

It was a blue-eyed blonde, not looking older than 30, in a button-up shirt and a skirt, her hands on her hips. She was looking at Sydney and Jared, as if she was disappointed, and her aura was purple.

Purple. A blonde. Casual way of dressing. Looking at Jared and Sydney. Making Sydney stop.

This could've been only one person, and Jared Sage's next words confirmed my suspicions.

"Irene," he breathed, falling on his knees, his eyes as wide as possible. "But how?"

"You seem to forget that we vampires have a tougher skin," she said coldly. "I survived. Hardly, but I did. And now I'm back for revenge?"

Jared and Irene weren't what I was focused on. I was focused on the girl beside me, frozen, not moving or breathing or blinking. She simply whispered, "Mom?" in a questioning voice, and her mother nodded, smiling.

"Yes, Sydney," she said in a pleasant voice, "I'm your mother."


	95. Chapter 23, part four: Shortest Chapter

**Author's note: **_Nope, not tonight either. Today I made a big, crazy, funny video for my friend that lives in America for a year (and since we're teenagers, being alone in a foreign country on Eid – the biggest holiday ever – isn't really easy), and it took me hours and hours, but I did it. _

_And now I'm tired, but I'll have time tomorrow (and I really mean it now) to finish that one-shot. I have it all figured out, I just don't have time to write it down… And why do I get all those ideas while vacuuming? It's, like, my ultimate inspiration (but nah, my real inspiration is my sis, HopperIvashkinator!) :D_

_And I'm waiting for my friend's reply. I actually can't even imagine it – going away to live alone in some country far, far away for a year… but that's probably because I'm in love with my own country._

_And SA. And Ireland._

_Okay, guys, hope you like this one too. The story's developing slowly, but I'm managing to develop it somehow. You'll probably get an update during the day or even in the morning, and you'll get that one-shot, I promise! I might even write it while waiting for TFH trailer (it's supposed to come out in an hour, and it's 12 PM here). _

_I just read yesterday's chapter and I must say that it's awful… so many mistakes. "Looking at the voice's thoughts?" Really? What the hell? If you see any of those mistakes here, or anywhere in the story, just laugh and go on. I didn't make them intentionally, if that makes it easier :D_

_And this is going to be a short one, but I'm basically sleeping._

_Love you all, and thank you! :)_

_And yeah, Richelle Mead owns these characters and she's awesome._

I didn't like Irene. Why, you surely wonder, when she's my girlfriend's mom and she's part-dhampir?

Well, first of all, she was kind of creepy. There was something unusual… _dhampiric_ about her, something that sent weird vibes to me, vibes I didn't like.

Second, she was indecipherable. Yeah, Sydney's aura was strange, but her mother's aura led the word "strange" to a whole new level. One moment, it was purple; the next moment, it was yellow; after that, it turned blue and similar. I didn't believe changing so many emotions and making so many decisions within a few moments was physically possible. So, that sent negative vibes too.

Third, she didn't remind me of Sydney, not at all. While Sydney had that positive shield around her, her optimism and the ability to smile to everyone and treat everyone the same, Irene had a black cloud of warning bolts following her every breath. Her eyes were sharp and focused, which meant she was perceptive, and it meant it'd be hard to trick her.

But what made it easier was the fact that she was on our side, fighting against Jared, and that's why I never said anything. I still kept Sydney safe by holding her with my arms in every single moment, though, because I didn't want to risk it.

But now the situation was almost dead. Irene and Jared were looking into each other, with everyone else either unconscious, hiding or running away and I felt as if time stopped, as if I was watching a private moment I shouldn't have seen.

But I did, and I saw pink flash in Jared's aura. Was he even capable of loving other people, or was he just remembering a moment in which he was?

Any way, it was disgusting.

"Irene," Jared said gently, "What are you doing here? I understand that you want revenge, but coming alone into the base? Without a backup? That'd be crazy, and we both know it. So tell me, why are you here? And why now, when Sydney just found out about her past?"

Irene grinned. "As smart as always," she said cheerfully. "Now let's get onto business."

She walked slowly towards Jared, like a lion, stalking its target. I disliked her more and more by the seconds.

"I came here for my son," she said in a light tone, and I wasn't sure if Sydney heard at all. The way her body stiffened afterwards gave me the answer I needed.

"What about Sydney?" Jared asked immediately, and Irene glanced at her once. She quickly averted her gaze, probably looking for Marcus, though he wasn't anywhere in sight.

"Sydney…" she shook her head. "I don't have any feelings towards her, so I guess you can keep her as your pet or something. But you're going to let me take my son away and I won't return. He's going with me."


	96. Chapter 23, part five: Fugitives

**Author's** **note: **_Now I have the flu, but that's not going to stop me._

_And today you get a real chapter in... what, a month? It's 8 PM and I'm starting to write. You'd be astonished how much I can write in that time... But yeah, today is one of those days where you write slowly. It's 10:30 PM and I'm on 1,5k words? Seriously? 11:30 and I'm on 1,8k. This chapter is developing so quickly…12 PM and I'm giving up after managing to write 2,3k. Hope it's enough for today! :)_

_Okay, now onto happy things. First of all, I wish Eid Mubarek to everyone! Spend the next three days (and tonight) with your family, with those you love, give money to those in need, visit those who died, and remember God. If you don't believe in Him, then cherish the life and everything you have. At least, that's what I've been doing today (beside the eating). _

_Next - 1100 reviews! (1112 now) Wow. just simply wow. I really didn't believe my story was going to be this popular - I thought it was going to have around 30 chapters, have around 50 reviews and that's it... so thank you, everyone! __**Rebelde09**__ is the lucky reviewer, so congratulations! :)_

_I'd also like to say that I'm not even half as amazing as you are. During this journey, I met so many wonderful people who really are very interesting, caring, who have a big heart and understand the problems and phases I'm going through. I'd like to thank you all for making this... idea of a story evolve into a big community of people who love, understand and listen to each other, and who prove that we fangirls aren't alone. You all know that there's the reviewing and PM button - that way, the message will always reach me, and believe me, I got a lot of them throughout the summer and fall. Thank you. Remain as amazing and as awesome as you are, my beautiful girls. I won't stop writing and abandon you, so I hope you won't, neither._

_For __**sheerio4ever**__, I can't stop listening to On Raglan Road! It's just... wow._

_And my country just qualified for the World Cup in Football! :D_

_I love you all!_

_Richelle Mead is the awesome woman who owns these characters._

Sydney was frantically nodding with her head, obviously trying to make herself believe into something. Her father was having a contest with her mother, and her sister was having an argument with her ex.

And I was standing there, trying to keep myself in check. Spirit was seriously threatening to swallow me, and I couldn't let that happen. Focusing on anything was hard, so I did what I always did when spirit bothered me - I focused on Sydney.

"Sage," I whispered, "Sage, calm down."

Sydney decided to ignore me. "Mom?" she said in an angry voice. "So you're... disowning me?"

Sydney's mother, so incredibly looking like an older, blue-eyed version of her, turned her head, blinking. "Sydney, it looks as if I have to choose, because your father won't let me take both of you with me. Marcus is... more important than you. He has certain skills, skills I need. Where is he, anyway?"

Everybody, except for Sydney and me, started turning around, looking for him. We knew exactly where he was, and I was silently praying for him to be alive. Somehow, I knew making Irene angry wasn't a good thing.

"What skills?" Sydney continued asking, and I understood why. If my father, Nathan Ivashkov, the ultimate jerk, chose my long-lost brother instead of me, I'd be wondering why he hadn't chosen me, too. Or no, maybe I'd realize it was because I was too handsome for him to handle me.

I shook my head, trying to focus again. Spirit was already starting to affect me, and I didn't need that. I needed to get Sydney somewhere safe first.

"You wouldn't believe if I told you," Irene said, looking annoyed while looking for Marcus.

"I'm a daughter of a dhampir," Sydney said through an ironic laugh. "So try me."

Irene finally decided to stop looking for Marcus herself and she turned towards Sydney. And the Alchemists were really crazy - they were incapable of finding a single unconscious guy in a hallway? And with his blonde hair and outfit, he was easy to distinct from the Alchemists.

"Your brother is a magic-yielding dhampir," Irene said nonchalantly, looking at Sydney with narrowed eyes, expecting her to laugh or tell her she's crazy.

But no reaction came. Trying to distract Irene and stop Jared from telling her Sydney's secret, I blurted out, "But how can you know that? From what I know, it sounds like Jared kill-" I stopped, knowing I made a mistake and she glared at me, "Nearly killed you when Marcus was just a baby."

Irene seemed unfazed by my question. I wondered why she even bothered responding, since everybody seemed to just ignore me and my presence. Well, that was better than being killed, after all, so I didn't complain.

"He always showed signs of being capable of yielding magic," she said, turning around once again in search for her son. "Damn it, how hard can it be to find him?"

She sighed, turned around and continued answering my question. „Jared told me once he was a warlock, and my mother found it to be very interesting. She looked through some books and found that magic users and dhampirs can't have children, because '_God wouldn't let a creature so powerful walk on the face of this Earth_.' But when I got pregnant, after all, we explained it with the fact that the amount of vampire blood in me is so low. We thought Marcus was going to be a normal baby. But we were wrong."

Sydney's aura showed me there were thousands of conflicting emotions inside of her – fear, disbelief, anger, jealousy, sadness, confusion… All I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms, cuddle with her and whisper that everything would be okay, but the reasons because I couldn't were obvious, so I contented with just curling my hands into fists and listening to Irene's monologue.

"Marcus is a mixture of three species: humans, vampires and magic yielders. He inherited only the best abilities from all three: he looks like a human, is fast and strong as a vampire, and yields magic. He didn't inherit the fangs or magic's darkness. He's probably the strongest being on Earth, and I was able to conclude it just by watching him closely for two years of his development."

"But what about Sydney, then? If your blood is strong enough, then how do you explain her? How do you know that she's not the strongest being in the universe, too?" I asked, trying to prove her wrong and exposing Sydney in the same time. It was a bad decision, that could end up badly at any moment.

And the fact that Jared was looking at Sydney as if she was a weapon, an object he possessed, made me want to forget about the Alchemists and the fact that we wouldn't be able to get away, and just take Sydney's arm and start running.

"You seem to really be in love with her, idolizing her," Irene said mockingly. "But no, my dear. Sydney is a weakling. She's a premature baby. She was born in the sixth month of my pregnancy, and she barely survived. Her heart actually didn't beat for almost a minute, but somehow, she made it. She was so small and…" She looked at Sydney, as if checking her out, head-to-toe, and said, "I actually can't believe she isn't skinnier. She's kind of curvy."

I was preparing to say something Sydney wouldn't want to hear, but Keith's annoying voice stopped me. "He isn't here," he said in an emotionless voice. "He managed to get away while we were focused on these fugitives here."

So now we were fugitives?

I turned around, wanting to say something to Keith now – again something lady-inappropriate, but this time Jared stopped me. "Okay, Irene, since your dear son isn't here, you should leave," he said, still looking at Sydney, who was just standing near me, not saying or doing anything, looking at her father, even though her aura was like a nuclear explosion. She was probably thinking about her mother's choice of words and the fact that she called her _curvy_ while in reality, she was still too skinny for my comfort.

"I'm not leaving without him, Jared, and I think we both know that," Irene said furiously, and Jared shrugged.

"Well, then, as you wish," he said and Keith immediately started towards her.

Neil, Zoe, Rose, Dimitri, Sydney and I were all just standing there, watching how things were going to develop. I just needed one chance. I would've compelled them into going to sleep or something, but there were just too many Alchemists in the room, and spirit was seriously starting to bug me.

_Be strong, Adrian, be strong for her_, I told myself.

Irene was already in some martial-arts-master pose, waiting for Keith with her arms open. Suddenly, I cheered Sydney's mom on. She was a dhampir, after all, which meant she was stronger than Keith.

This was going to be interesting.

But before Keith even touched Irene, Sydney whispered, "Stop."

Keith rolled his eyes and continued approaching Irene, but then Jared said, "Stop, Keith," and he groaned, stopping himself.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he said in a child-like voice. "Now you're actually listening to her? What happened with wanting to Re-educate her?"

"You don't know what you're saying," Jared said in a low, dangerous voice. "Go and find Marcus. He was your responsibility. I can take care of this."

Keith looked at him for a moment, a moment in which I pulled Sydney towards me – she was emotionless, not fighting me, and I took it as a bad sign – but he finally swallowed, nodded and moved away without saying anything.

Within only a few moments, Keith and his entourage of Alchemists was gone. The others were slowly waking up, half of them already gone with Keith, the other half still unconscious, and I couldn't see Jill – or Eddie – anywhere.

I actually started liking Marcus. I mean, he was Sydney's brother, after all.

"Zoe," Jared said, using a gentle tone, "Please, get rid of those dhampirs. They're just complicating the situation, and I don't want them conscious in this room. They're dangerous."

Zoe nodded, and raised her hand, as if to hit her in the head with the gun.

And then something happened very fast – even I, a Moroi, barely registered the movement – Dimitri moved away from Neil and hit Zoe in the forehead.

It all happened within a second, and suddenly, Rose and Dimitri and Neil were standing, fierce as ever, ready to hurt anyone who stood in their way.

Thank God, we were on their side. Neil had a gun, and Rose took the gun from Zoe, too. She raised her eyebrows and said, "You have no idea how right you are. We are _very_ dangerous."

Sydney, meanwhile, tried to get away from my grasp. "Zoe!" she shouted.

When she realized I wasn't going to let go, she turned towards me. "Let me go, Adrian, or I'll do something bad," she said in a desperate voice.

I shook my head. "No, you won't. No matter what you say, or do, I know that you could never hurt me, not intentionally."

Sydney opened her mouth, as if trying to say something, but then she closed them and nodded. "Why don't you let me help my sister?"

I shook my head. "The only safe place, currently, are my arms, and I'm not letting you get away from them, because I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you, and I won't lose you," I said, watching her intently.

We were a second away from starting to make out in front of Sydney's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to care. They never cared about her, anyway, just her powers.

But, of course, Dimitri cleared his throat and we turned our heads to look at the situation. Irene was looking at us, annoyed, and Jared looked as if he might puke. Neil was kneeling next to Zoe, checking her head for any kind of injuries. He wasn't acting this time – his aura was full of fear and concern. I suddenly changed my opinion of him – he was just acting, thank God. We were in much… hopeful situation, now that the tables were turned.

"So, now what?" Rose asked, glancing behind her, just to see Neil picking Zoe up from the ground and into his arms.

"Now we get the hell out of here," Neil said, and he started walking with his gun pointing in front of him. "While they're still occupied and while we still can."

"Wait a moment, macho," Rose said, putting her hands on her hips. Dimitri was keeping watch on Jared and Irene, who were looking quite amused by the scene. "Your mission was saving Zoe, but it's not the mission anymore. What about Eddie? And Jill?"

"And Marcus?" I heard Sydney say, making Irene shoot her a poisonous glance.

"He's mine," she said coldly, "and you can't take him away from me. I'm going to find him, no matter where you try to hide him."

Sydney rolled her eyes. "First of all, he's not a thing to be claimed by someone," she said, her voice sounding annoyed. "And second, he's my brother, so if he wants to, he can go with me. I don't care about the fact that he's some ultimate weapon, just about the fact that he's my brother."

"You're not going anywhere," Jared said then, and when I looked at him, I saw him smiling, his arms crossed on his chest. His aura revealed that he was happy.

But why? Did he finally go totally crazy, or was there some major plan?

Of course there was, since in the next moment the Alchemists just started coming at us out of nowhere, and I moved to shield Sydney with my body.

I wasn't some ultimate weapon, but I was still able to protect her.


	97. Chapter 23, part six: The Sacrifice

**Author's note: **_Good morning, guys! I've been awake for a few hours already and the flu is in its greatest days – somewhere between endlessly sneezing and feeling like nothing, there's a potential headache coming too. Thank God it's still Eid, so I can lie down and not do anything…_

_Just kidding. I want to do this as fast as possible, so that I can go and read that stupid book about Ana Karenina (the exam is on next Wednesday, and I have a 1000 pages to read, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it in time). _

_Anyway, I won't bother you with my problems. Now where were we? Oh yeah, on that hard chapter…_

_WARNING: This might be a bit sad, so don't read it, TheHappyLol and Percabethlvrknowsall!_

_Love you all, and thank you! :)_

_I hope Richelle Mead won't do this in TFH…_

The situation was hopeless.

Again.

Keith and his army of Alchemists appeared out of nowhere, and they surrounded us. Rose, Dimitri and Neil, carrying Zoe, were by our side instantly, and Rose said in a low voice, "Nobody move. I have a weapon, and I'd love to finally use it."

Jared laughed. "Come on, then, use it! You think two or three dead Alchemists mean something for me? They're ready to die, because what we do is right. I want Sydney, but I don't care about you – any of you. If they kill you, I won't be sad. The world will be a better place."

"You'd let them kill Zoe?" Sydney said in disbelief.

Jared's smirk faded, but he simply shrugged and said, "She'd die for a bigger cause. I'd rather bury her as an Alchemist, than chase her as a fugitive. She wasn't even capable of getting rid of those dhampirs." He looked at Zoe, in Neil's arms, with a disgusted look.

Keith stepped forward. "Come on, boys. We can let them say their last prayers, but I don't think there's anything else to talk about. Any last wishes?" he said, grinning and raising an eyebrow.

I didn't waste time. I turned towards Sydney, said, "I love you," and kissed her, fiercely and honestly, as if this was our last kiss.

And somewhere, deep inside of me, I felt this was it. The last time I held her, the last time I made her heart beat faster, the last time she gripped my hands tightly and pressed herself closer to me, the last time I felt her breathe, the last time I touched her hair, her hands, her face…

Sydney pulled away, looking at me with her golden eyes, all doubts and fears disappearing from their depths. "This is not goodbye," she said, and it wasn't a question.

Then she stepped forward and started chanting. As soon as she did it, a golden trail of magic appeared on her arms, and her hair started floating. She was beautiful, and she was protecting us all, but I knew the magic would consume her. As soon as Irene mentioned the phrase _magic darkness_ alarms went out in my head. I had to protect her from magic, no matter if she was immune or not. I didn't care.

Another thought hit me – Sydney was exposing herself now. Irene would know, when she saw the way her magic worked. Sydney was special, and I couldn't protect her from that.

But I could protect her from other people.

So I stepped forward too, beside her, and I started doing the same thing – I started compelling people around me. I could see Rose and Dimitri fight the old-fashioned way, protecting Neil and Zoe. It was a smart plan – if someone caught Zoe, they'd use her as a hostage and then everything would be lost.

I tried not to worry about Jill, because I knew Eddie was with her. She was safe, I kept repeating in my mind. At least she was going to get out of this alive.

After putting several Alchemists to sleep, I glanced at Sydney – her arms were raised, and she was gesturing towards the Alchemists. Some of them just fell to the ground, unconscious, some of them screamed upon losing their sight, some of them lost their balance, some of them were hit by shards or whatever it was she was throwing at them, and some of them ran away after seeing her.

Soon enough, there were more on the ground than standing, and they were all quite afraid of Sydney and her powers. Sydney's aura matched her movements – it was glorious, golden and purple intertwining together…

But then a new color appeared – red, and the person who caused it was standing right in front of us.

"Now I finally understand why you help vampires," he said with a great amount of disgust in his voice, "It's because you're one of them."

"Keith," Sydney said in a low voice full of hatred I didn't even recognize. In that one word, she said so many things – she regretted telling Abe to cut only one of his eyes out, she regretted letting him get away many times, she regretted letting him hurt me, her and many other people, and she regretted letting him get away every single time.

But I also realized something else.

She wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

"Sydney," I said I the same time that Keith said, "Bring it on."

There was no time to react, no time to protect her, no time to do anything. Before I was even able to move, Sydney threw a fireball at Keith.

And then all hell broke loose.

I heard Keith scream, but I didn't care – all I cared about was getting Sydney out of here. She was already preparing to throw another blue fireball at him, but I took her by the waist, fearless and desperate.

"Sydney, you need to stop," I said, glancing back to see that the hallway was starting to burn. People were shouting and the hallway was filling up with smoke, so it definitely wasn't a good development of the situation.

"No," Sydney shouted, trying to break free from my grip, "I need to punish him, and Irene, and Jared, and I need to make them pay for everything they've done. They've hurt so many people and I need too-"

"No!" I shouted back, turning her towards me. Spirit decided to make everything dark right in that moment, and in the cloud of smoke and the shadows of spirit looming before me, Sydney was just a dark figure in front of me. But her arms were shining, enveloped by that beautiful golden dust, and it helped me stay focused. "It's enough. They're all hurt enough. We need to get out of here, or we'll all suffocate."

"Adrian…" Sydney said uncertainly, "You're… you're bleeding."

I furrowed my eyebrows, not sure if I was starting to hallucinate or if I somehow got hurt, but the darkness was making it hard to stay focused. I blinked a few times and shook my head. "I don't feel anything," I said.

Sydney's hand went up to touch my face and the area above my mouth. I still didn't feel anything, but when Sydney raised her fingers, they were bloody. "Can you heal yourself?" she said in a small voice.

I tried to concentrate, but trying to find the magic proved to be too hard for me. I shook my head, and my head started to hurt. "Great. Now I have a headache, too."

Sydney bit her lower lip, then took my hands in hers and pulled us both forward. "I need to get you out of here," she said, her voice full of determination, making me smile.

"So now I'm a damsel in distress, and you're my knight in shining armor, Sage?" I said teasingly, and it made her smile for a second.

But then she looked at me, and the smile disappeared. "Let's go," she said, and her aura revealed that she was afraid. Did it look _that_ bad?

I touched my nose with my hand and realized that there really was a lot of blood coming out of it. I had no idea how, or why that was happening – I only knew that the headache was getting worse, and that at this point, keeping my eyes open was hard for me.

Sydney urged me forward, but stopped when she heard a voice say, "You're not going anywhere."

Sydney and I both turned around and I forced myself to open my eyes as much as I could and to focus. Jared Sage was standing there, holding a gun on Zoe's forehead. "Now, step away from my daughter, vampire, or I'll kill Zoe."

His aura didn't let me doubt his words – I saw only pure determination in it.

He was ready to kill his own daughter in order to hurt his other one.

So I made a decision Sydney didn't like – I stood in front of her and said fiercely, "Do it. I don't care. I won't let you lay a hand on her, no matter the cost."

"But Adrian-" Sydney started in a startled voice.

I shook my head, worsening the headache. I was half-conscious at this point, but I had to keep myself lucid until this was over. "No. I know you love her, and I love her, too, but if he gets you, he'll be able to do much worse things than taking people to Re-education. If he kills Zoe, it'll just prove that he's not a man, but a monster. And she won't die as a loyal Alchemist – she'll die as a free, independent woman, who wasn't afraid to take responsibility of her actions."

Jared's aura slightly shifted upon hearing my words, and it made me smile. I leaned in, raising my eyebrows. "Finally, a reaction? I'm sick of you and your games. Could you just leave us alone for a second and stop trying to ruin our lives? You're beginning to annoy me! What kind of a man are you, anyway? You're read you kill your own daughter – your own 'pure' daughter in order to imprison your other one, planning to use her in God knows what way! What kind of a father would do something like that?" I shouted, making Jared's eyes widen.

I knew the control was slipping from my hands – I was losing it, I was losing myself and spirit was consuming me, but I was far too gone to care. Sydney touched my arm gently, obviously realizing the same thing, and I looked at her.

There was fear in her eyes. Fear and compassion and the awful feeling of not being able to help me. I wanted to say something to assure her I was okay, but there was no time to say anything. There was no time to tell her how much I loved her, or how everything was going to be okay.

There was no time to prepare her for what was coming next.

Out of nowhere, a gunshot rang through the room. Sydney and I were looking at each other, but we both turned our heads toward the sound, instinctively.

And sure enough, someone got shot.

But it wasn't who we expected to be. It wasn't Zoe.

Zoe was on the ground, her body bloody, but her steady aura told me she was alive and unharmed.

Her father, on the other hand, wasn't unharmed.

He didn't shoot Zoe. He shot himself.

Sydney and I both just stood there, looking at the awful sight in front of us – a dead man who shot himself straight in the heart, following God knows what tradition, his white shirt bloody, the gun on the floor beside him, his unconscious daughter blinking slowly and waking up.

I wanted to get Sydney away from here as fast as possible, but before I had the chance to do anything, she disappeared from my line of sight.

In a second, she was kneeling in front of her father. She put his head into her lap and started whispering, "Dad, please, wake up. Please, don't die."

Zoe was also waking up, and as soon as she opened her eyes, she shrieked and got up. "Dad!"

And then the time slowed down. I was standing there, looking at Sydney's face, and I knew that she was in the state of a shock. Her father was dying in front of her, and even though he was an evil person who wanted to kill her, he was still her father. This was going to break her.

Zoe was already crying, and she was touching her father's limp arms, as if trying to get him to move.

But Jared Sage wasn't dead. His aura was dimming, but he was still alive.

And it meant I was still able to heal him.

So I made a split-time decision, and with the last atom of my strength, I somehow managed to summon spirit up.

And I somehow managed to move myself and get to Jared. Everything in me was protesting, because for the God's sake, this man was as evil as a human being could possibly be, but I had the ability to help him, and if his death was going to crush Sydney, I wasn't going to let it happen. I wasn't going to become a person like him, because if the situation was reversed, he wouldn't help me. He'd leave me to die.

So I put my hands over his wound, and started to heal. It wasn't a regular healing – I healed him more fiercely than ever, pouring all the magic from my soul into him.

Sydney whispered, "Adrian, don't," but I closed my eyes and shook my head, concentrating on spirit.

"You're bleeding again," she whispered after a few moments, "It's because of spirit."

I opened my eyes, and there she was, kneeling next to me, her father's head in her lap. Tears were streaming down her face, and she was shining.

"You're beautiful," I couldn't refrain myself from saying, and she smiled, looking away. I wanted to remember her this way – her magic enveloping her body, making the silver lily shine on her cheek, making her golden eyes glisten and her golden hair enveloping her hair. She was looking like a goddess, and I knew that my mind would always remember her this way when I was gone.

When I was gone. Yes, the inevitable.

"You said it wouldn't be goodbye," I whispered, all strength abandoning me. I couldn't stop healing Jared, I couldn't stop channeling spirit through myself into him, I couldn't control myself anymore, but I could control my feelings for her.

And right now, I knew I saved her. I knew I managed to protect her from pain and death, and being used as a weapon, and I knew that she'd be able to get out of here before we all died from the smoke and the fire.

I suddenly found myself in the warmth of Sydney's body – she was embracing me, and I could hear her heavy breathing, so I stopped healing Jared and hugged Sydney back.

She found my lips and kissed me fiercely, making me close my eyes and indulge in the feeling of her and her wonderful magic so close. My hands were in her hair, because I had to feel her one last time, because it was never enough.

"This is not goodbye either," she whispered against my lips, making me smile.

My fierce girl, my flame in the dark, always making me go beyond my limits and do more, become something more, something good.

So in this moment, wrapped in the arms of the person I loved more than anything, I realized I became something more. I was one of the good guys now, someone who wasn't afraid to die for the ideals he believed in. I believed in freedom and love, and I was ready to die for it.

I opened my eyes, to see Sydney looking at me, tears still falling down her cheeks. "I'm going to find a way to help you," she said and touched my cheek with her hand gently.

But her eyes couldn't lie – she knew she wasn't able to help me. Nobody was able to help me. The headache was the worst I've ever had, and I knew more blood was trickling down my nose.

"I love you," I heard myself whisper, and Sydney opened her mouth to answer, but it was too late.

I let go.

I let go, and before I slipped away, inhaled deeply. The smell of Sydney intertwined with blood, smoke and death, was the last thing I felt before I slipped away.

Thank God, at least the headache disappeared when blackness swallowed me.


	98. Chapter 24, part one: He'll Wake Up

**Author's note: **_Well, yesterday's chapter was… intense. Again, I must say I'm really sorry for doing this for you, but we're on chapter 24 and I… I must write this from Sydney's POV. Remember, there's only one chapter+ the epilogue left, and all these chapters are going to be very, I must say, sad. Just writing this is hard for me, and after reading Clockwork Princess again, I'm in that kind of mood._

_I have two exams tomorrow (English and Chemistry), but I won't upload until this chapter is at least 3k long. The situation is very important, and I don't want to write it half-asleep or something._

_Another warning – don't read if you easily start crying. This isn't going to be pleasant._

_Richelle Mead owns the characters, but I don't think you care anymore. So yeah, let's start the chapter._

* * *

The situation was hopeless.

"I love you," he whispered.

_I love you._

I never believed in something more, in my whole life. A book, a whole discography or a painting on the walls of the Sistine Chapel, none of it would be able to describe everything Adrian did with just those three simple words.

"I love you," I whispered back, but he didn't hear me.

And in the next few moments, I didn't care for anything. I didn't care for the fact that my father just shot himself and got healed by Adrian. I didn't care for the fact that the building was burning down, and that we were all probably going to die or suffocate in the smoke if we stayed for a minute longer.

I wanted to die. I wanted to die, because he was gone. So I just hugged him tighter, trying to remember his smell, his warmth, the shape of his body, frantically touching his face and hair, looking at his closed eyes, searching for something there, something to give me hope.

But there was no hope. No hope, no miracles, no nothing.

_If you were hurt, and I couldn't access my magic, I wouldn't be able to help,_ he said once. _If you were hurt, I'd die. _

I never understood those words, because I was always a realistic, objective person, who always expected something real. I never expected miracles to happen in these kinds of situations. I knew that if someone died, he died. There was no magical healing or walking zombies.

But now I prayed for a miracle.

And now I understood his words perfectly. I'd do anything to heal him, and even though I was a magic user, I couldn't help him.

I couldn't help him.

And I'd die, I knew. I'd die, and we'd both meet in Heaven.

So I said my last prayer. It was a prayer for both of us, and for all others who were going to die in the fire.

"Our God in heaven, hallowed be thy name," I whispered, inhaling the smell of Adrian's hair, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, in Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever, and ever. Ame-"

"Sydney!" Zoe said in a very high-pitched voice, touching my shoulder. "Sydney, we need to get out of here!"

I turned my head to look at her for the last time. She was more beautiful than I'd ever be, with her long brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. She was my sister, my poor little sister who got pulled into this mess accidentally.

I slowly shook my head, and whispered, "I'm not going, Zoe."

Zoe's eyes widened as soon as I turned my head. I was probably looking like a madwoman with tears streaming down my face, hugging a dead man, a vampire at that. I didn't care about the fact that he was bleeding on my shirt, because I knew it was Adrian, and I'd take a bath in his blood if it'd bring him back.

My eyes were probably desperate, but defeated, too, but I didn't care anymore. I wouldn't live without my Adrian, and now was the chance to die without having to commit suicide.

Every breath hurt, because I knew he wasn't breathing. Every heartbeat hurt, because I knew his heart wasn't beating. And every moment hurt, because he wasn't here anymore.

My Adrian, finally free of the pain. My Adrian, falling asleep and never waking up again.

How would the world continue without him? How would the grass grow, the leaves fall, the sun rise, when he wasn't there to see it? How would anyone paint something again, when he'd never paint again? How would anyone wake up in the morning, when they'd know he wouldn't wake up?

And how would I live for even a moment longer, when I knew he wouldn't be there? When I knew his body wouldn't be warm ever again? When I knew he'd never look at me with his emerald eyes again?

Zoe must've seen everything in my eyes, since she simply nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "I wish it was different," she said, making me see that she wasn't really Re-educated, after all, "I wish it was different and you were able to let go. But you can't, and I respect that. Goodbye, my sister," she said, tears starting to fall down her cheeks, and she touched my face gently with her hand.

And then she was gone, and I buried my head in the crook of his neck, trying to hold back tears and sobs, but I wasn't able to. I was crying like a baby, but I didn't care anymore, because Adrian was dead, and Adrian wasn't here anymore, and Adrian would never be here anymore.

He'd never kiss me, or touch me, or whisper things into my ear again. We'd never marry, or have children, or buy a yellow house, or chase our dreams together, or dance at my graduation, or have a life, or grow old together. We'd never have a chance to do anything, because he was dead.

He was dead.

I couldn't bear that fact. I couldn't think about it for a second longer, so I hoped death would just claim me already. The smoke was making I hard to breathe, and I was so hot, but it wouldn't be over yet, I knew.

I hugged Adrian tighter. I wouldn't release him, or let him go. I wouldn't move. I'd just wait for God to take us both to some better place, to a place where love and loyalty and justice actually won. To a place where real heroes lived happily ever after. To a place where we could be together, and where there'd be no secrets and lies and danger.

So I prayed again, ready to leave this world.

"Our God in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, in Earth as it is in Heaven," I whispered gently. "Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever-"

Someone lifted me from the ground, and I prayed this was how death felt like – like losing your weight and feeling safe.

But I was still holding Adrian's body, and I was still alive, so there was something wrong. I opened my eyes, just to see…

"Dad," I said in a hollow voice, tired of playing games with him. "Let me die. Please, just let me die."

Dad's face tightened, but he shook his head. "No. I'm not letting my daughter kill herself. You're going with me, and that's not a question."

I actually smiled – it took lot of force to move my mouth upwards while the left side of my chest was hurting like hell. "Can't you see it, dad?" I said hysterically, in a very low voice. "You can carry me out of the building, but I'll just lay down on the ground and die anyway. And I'm not leaving without him. You can do anything you want to me, but I'm not going to leave him." After seeing the look of pity on his face, I continued coldly, "And I know he's dead, but I'm not leaving his body. I'm not. You can't make me."

Dad swallowed hard, closed his eyes, and then shook his head. "Okay. Let's do it, then," he said, getting up. "Or we're all going to die in here."

"Let's do what?" I asked, not sure if I missed something he said.

"Let's carry him out, since you're not leaving without him, and I'm not leaving you here," he said in an even voice.

I blinked a few times, then slowly shook my head. "No. No, I won't go. You'll just use it to chop him into pieces and make me fulfill whatever crazy goal you have in your mind. I don't care." The coldness and evenness of my voice startled me – it looked as if I accepted my death completely.

And I did, I knew. Life without Adrian didn't exist.

Jared, meanwhile, sighed heavily. "Sydney, I don't have any crazy goals. I simply want to help you, and keep you alive. You're my daughter."

It should've made my heart grow, it should've made me feel happy and proud of myself, but with my resignation to die, I felt nothing. "I don't need anything from you," I said calmly. "Just go away, and leave us in peace. I want to pray before I die."

Dad shut his eyes tightly, then did something unexpected – he pushed me forwards, making me release Adrian, and then he caught him, just as I screamed, "No!"

And then he got up, carrying the love of my life, limp and lifeless in his hands, saying, "If you want to be in peace with him, you're going to have to follow me."

Losing the warmth of Adrian's body, and losing the ability to fool myself he was alive by warming his body with my own, physically hurt me, and I sobbed loudly, getting up. "You can't-" I shrieked, not being able to control the sobs or the tears anymore, but I didn't know how to finish that sentence.

_You can't take him away from me?_ Was that what I wanted to say? But God already took him away from me, and I only had a few minutes more to say my goodbye to him. I'd lose him anyway – his body would decay, it wouldn't be as beautiful as it was now anymore. He'd never be as beautiful as he was now, never again.

With those thoughts in my mind, I got up as fast as I could and followed Jared through the hallway, probably into a trap, but I didn't care. All I cared about was Adrian. Adrian, Adrian and Adrian. Every other thought disappeared from my head, because it didn't matter anymore. Nothing did, except for him.

As it turned out, dad didn't lead me into some torturing room, after all. We actually exited the building, and the clean cold air – not really cold, but colder than the one in the Re-education centre – startled me, making me gasp and then sob louder.

I ran to catch up with dad, but as soon as we were on a safe distance from the fire, he put Adrian down gently. Then he turned around and started to say, "Sydney, you don't know how sorry-"

But I wasn't listening to him. I was on the ground, hugging Adrian as if he was the oxygen, the very thing that kept me alive, and I heard dad sigh.

His footsteps echoed through my head for a long time after he left.

There was nothing in my mind – nothing at all. No thoughts, no feelings, no anything. Just tears, tears and loud sobs, and the wind, ruffling his hair, and my body, hugging his, trying to get it over with already.

I don't know for how long it lasted, but it wasn't long enough – the wonderful silence was interrupted by a shaky voice. "Sydney," I heard a girl say. "Sydney, stop."

I shook my head, trying to get her to leave us, to leave us at least for a moment longer, to leave me in the fantasy of waiting for him to wake up, to laugh and look at me and tell me 'Good morning-'

"He's not dead," she said, and I froze.

I looked into Adrian's peaceful, bloody face quizzically, as if it'd give me the answers I wanted, but he didn't flinch or move, nothing. I put my head on his chest, trying to hear his heart…

_Thump._

I furrowed my eyebrows, not sure if I imagined it.

Another _thump_. Weak, but real.

My eyes widened, and I turned around, not sure if I was dead, hallucinating, or if this really was happening.

But it was Jill standing in front of me, tears falling down her cheeks as well, and she was smiling. "He's not dead," she repeated.

"Get me paramedics, the ambulance, my Alchemist kit, a doctor, a car to get him into hospital, anything," I said forcefully, my heart beating faster than ever. "We can't let him die."

Jill's smile faded then, and I could see compassion and understanding in her eyes. It was as if she knew how I felt, because she felt that way too, but then something changed, making her feel differently. "He's… I can feel the bond, Sydney, but there's nobody on the other side. Just emptiness."

"He was just tired of healing and compelling so many people," I said, trying to assure myself everything was going to be okay. "He's alive, and after he rests, he'll be fine."

"But Sydney-"

"He'll be fine," I almost shouted, not sure if I was saying it to myself or to Jill. "Now give me a phone."

Jill furrowed her eyebrows, not understanding why I was asking for a phone, but she nodded, ran off somewhere and came back a minute later, a mobile phone in her hand.

She didn't say anything afterwards; she just watched me with her big, sad eyes, as if hoping, but being afraid to hope.

I could solve this situation.

I entered the number and pressed the _Call_ button. Then I took a deep breath, and when the person answered, I said immediately, "Abe, it's Sydney Sage. I need a favor."

"So nice of you to call me just to check if I was fine," he said sarcastically. "Now, what do you need?"

"I need a Moroi doctor who lives in Los Angeles, and is able to get here within the next two minutes," I said.

I didn't care about being in debt to Ibrahim Mazur, so I wasn't surprised when he accepted. I'd gladly do what he said my whole life, if he was able to keep Adrian safe.

Oh, my Adrian, my love. He was alive, and it was the only thing that mattered.

But a few hours later, in an apartment, sitting on a chair next to a bed, I was starting to ask myself if he really was just tired.

And thank God, I cried my eyes out, because if I could cry, I'd cry now, I knew for sure. But now I was able to keep myself calm, keep myself prepared, and keep myself lucid. I wasn't going to break down. Everything was going to be okay. Adrian was going to wake up.

"Miss Sage," the doctor called. I didn't really like him, because his face was too serious, too unkind, and he looked as he delivered bad news all the time.

I stood up next to Adrian's bed, looking at that unpleasant middle-aged man hopefully. "What's wrong with him? Is he going to wake up in a few hours?" I asked in a small voice, my insides turning for 360 degrees.

"I'm afraid not," the doctor said, and I blinked, not able to comprehend what was going on. "From all the information you provided and all the examinations and tests, I was able to conclude that he's in a spirit-induced coma," he said in an even voice, not a note of compassion in it.

He was slicing right through my already shattered heart with. "So what does that mean?" I asked, not able to believe what I was hearing.

"Well, since we don't know much about spirit, I can't tell you for sure," he said uncertainly, "but I'll try treating his state as a regular coma - his brain isn't dead, but it isn't responding properly. That means that his mind is trapped inside of him, and that he can't wake up. He's probably going to stay in this state forever, if we don't find some way to get his brain to work properly. If this was a regular coma, I'd tell you to shut off the machines and leave him to die and rest in peace, but I'd rather you give him to our labs to experiment on him. We might find a way to help him."

I gasped, then leaned back protectively. "Nobody's going to experiment on Adrian," I said fiercely. "It's just spirit darkness. Everything will be okay. He'll find a way to get out of it, you'll see."

Once again, I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince - myself, or this man who didn't even care about Adrian.

And when I saw pity in his eyes, I wanted to make him scream.

But I had to control myself, for Adrian. He'd want me to control myself, I knew.

So when the man left, I simply turned around, sighed after seeing Adrian and all the wires and tubes attached to his body, keeping him alive, and I sat back into position, determined to stay that way until he woke up.

But deep in myself, I knew it wasn't going to happen. I knew I had to find a way to help him.

I needed Inez, the Stelle and Ms. Terwilliger.


	99. Chapter 24, part two: A Dream

**Author's note: **_Oh my God. Chapter 99. Just... wow. I really can't believe we've come this far._

_Now, do I have to warn you all again? It's going to seem hopeless, heartbreaking, bla bla bla... but I know you'll read it anyway, so please at least don't cry in school, at work, on the street, in the bus, or on some public place, because people will blame me!_

_I read all your reviews - they're keeping me going. I know, why haven't I answered? because there's not enough time! I have 3 one-shot ideas that are in my head currently and that I want to write down, but I can't! And I have to read the whole Anna Karenina in 3 days, so that means a lot of reading! But how am I going to do it all? I have no idea, and I don't want to bother you with my problems, so I'll just keep writing. After Wednesday, the sun starts to shine..._

_Oh, never forget my eternal gratitude for all your support. I love you all, and here, let me give you a hug and an Adrian._

_And yeah, there's a quote there (not that I know it by heart or anything...), because I just couldn't refrain myself from putting it there! I'm sorry, but I had to!_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

* * *

"Sage?" someone asked uncertainly.

I blinked slowly, trying to remember where I was. I remembered being in a chair beside Adrian's bed...

Adrian.

My stomach immediately flipped and I had to swallow to hold back tears. I was overwhelmed with emotions, and I had no idea why.

But when I finally opened my eyes, I knew the reason instantly.

It was because Adrian was looming above me, his eyebrows furrowed, as if he couldn't figure out something.

"Sage, are you okay?" he asked again, and I blinked, getting up slowly.

I looked around me and...

Malibu. That beautiful garden where I finally admitted my feelings to both of us. The most beautiful memory I'd ever have. The place where we were just a young couple enjoying the day, where we weren't an Alchemist and a Moroi. The place where I forgot about it all for a day, before everything collapsed. The only carefree day of my whole life.

"Sydney?" he asked even more uncertainly now, kneeling and putting his hands on my shoulders. "Please, tell me what's wrong."

I looked at him - it was so easy to convince myself he indeed was Adrian... the exact shade of his eyes, the exact curve of his mouth, the exact shape of his face, the exact messy hair, the exact smell, the exact everything. It was so easy to tell myself I wasn't dreaming. It was so, so easy.

But this wasn't Adrian, because my Adrian was in a coma, and he'd never wake up again. The truth hit me harder than I ever expected it to, and it made my vision blurry, so I simply closed my eyes and cried.

In a dream, I had more tears. In a dream, I could cry forever. In a dream, Adrian was still there, and we were in the exactly same clothes as we were that day. Everything was exactly the same.

He pulled me into his chest, and it made me start to shake and sob. "Shhsh," he whispered softly, "Whatever it is, it'll be okay. But please, talk to me, Sage. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"You're dead," I heard myself whisper. "Spirit killed you and I couldn't prevent it."

Adrian's hand froze on my head, and I realized I couldn't even have this support, not even in a dream. In reality, I was alone, completely alone, and now I was going to wake up.

Just because I couldn't shut up and enjoy these moments.

"Sage, I'm not dead," he said slowly. "We're just sleeping."

I shook my head. "No," I whispered through a sob, "I am, but you are not real. This is all just a dream, and I'm going to wake up and you're not going to be there."

"Sydney," he said with force, making me open my eyes. He leaned back to look into my eyes. "This is me. Adrian Ivashkov, your boyfriend, the guy you love and who'd jump in front of a train for you. The guy who healed your father. It's me."

That made me stop. If this was a dream, Adrian surely wouldn't be convincing me into his existance. He'd exist, and we'd be happy for a few hours, and then I'd wake up. Right? That was the way dreams worked.

"But... but how?" I asked in a small voice, seeing my own eyes reflected in his.

He smiled. "You forget I'm a spirit user," he said gently, tucking a lock of a hair behind my ear. "You forget I can pull people into spirit dreams. You fell asleep and I... I sensed it, and decided to take you here."

Adrian was alive, in some other world, but we were able to keep a connection.

Adrian was alive.

Adrian.

Suddenly, he was on the ground and I was on top of him, hugging and kissing and touching him, and thinking to myself how this was too real to actually be real.

"Whoa, whoa, take it easy," he said in a happy voice.

"Adrian," I said, settling on putting my nose on his cheek and my arms around his neck. It was the only thought I could actually voice. "Oh, Adrian."

"I love you, too," he said gently, "but would you mind explaining everything? This is all... freaking me out currently," he said, pulling his hands through my hair.

"What's the last thing you remember?" I asked immediately, refusing to move.

He sighed, and continued pulling his hands through my hair. "I told you I loved you, and then I let go," he said. "And since then, I've been here."

"What an elaboration," I couldn't refrain myself from muttering sarcastically. I could actually sense him rolling his eyes.

But it was time to pull away and be strong. I leaned back, pulling myself off of him, and he sat up to look at me.

"You're in a coma," I said as calmly as I could, but my eyes filled with tears anyway. "Right now, you're in a bed, and you're sleeping, and machines are keeping you alive, and I'm sleeping beside you, on a chair."

I closed my eyes and swallowed, not wanting to think about it further. Adrian was alive, and I was talking with him, and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Sydney," he whispered, reassuring me it was really him, "It's okay."

I shook my head. "No. It's not okay. How can it be okay? You're... you're practically dead, but here you are, telling me it's okay. How can any of this be possible?"

"Sydney," he whispered again, touching my cheek with his hand. "I understand and I... I think it's better this way. You have no idea how it is, not being burdened by the darkness anymore, but still being able to feel the magic. Being able to be anywhere and everywhere, and not suffering any consequences." His voice was full of awe as he said what he did, and I opened one eye, becoming suspicious of something.

"Adrian?" I asked uncertainly. "What were you doing here, this whole time?"

Adrian grinned widely then, making me want to do the same, too. But there was a certain glint in his eyes, something I could sense... it was something I didn't like at all.

"I've been around the whole world, world of spirits," he said happily, his voice full of excitement. "I've got to ask them to take you around, too. You'd definitely like it."

I furrowed my eyebrows, a knot forming in my stomach. "You've got to ask who?"

Adrian rolled his eyes, as if the answer was obvious. "Silver shadows, of course."

"Silver shadows," I repeated, something cold crawling up my spine. Just the thought of that name made me feel afraid, as if my mind could sense it was something evil.

"Yeah," Adrian said, nodding. "They're these cool... beings, you might say, and they've been showing me around. they said that I'd be able to do some very cool things when I became one of them-"

"One of them?" I asked in astonishment. "Adrian, what are you talking about?"

Adrian blinked, looking at me as if I was a mythological creature. "I don't understand, Sage. I'm talking about my future-"

"Your future?" I echoed, interrupting him again. "Adrian, you need to wake up and come back home with me. That's your future. Not with those... silver shadows, or as one of them. You're not a spirit or a... or a..." I stopped, shutting my mouth tightly for a moment to stop my lower lip from trembling.

"A ghost," I finally whispered. "You're my Adrian, and I want you back. You need to hold on in here, and you need to wait until I find a way to help you."

Adrian was looking at me with a puzzled look the whole time, and he repeated, "Help me?" slowly. "Sage, I don't need help."

I looked at him, not sure if I was hallucinating or if there was something wrong with this dream. "Adrian, what's going on?" I asked in a high-pitched voice. "You're scaring me."

"I don't want to go back there," he said, and I knew _there_ meant _the real world_. "Here, I can use my magic freely and I can be whatever I want... and I thought you'd want it, too."

I opened my mouth to protest, but no sound came out; I felt a tear slide down my cheek. Adrian didn't wipe it.

"I thought we'd be here forever, together, without anything or anyone to tell us what to do, or to hunt us, or to hunt us down and hurt us... I thought you'd want to be safe with me. They'd allow it, I'm sure," he said, complete honesty in his eyes.

I moved away. "Adrian, this is not real," I said, hysteria pouring out of me. "This is not real, and you're going crazy, and I can't get you out of here before you're totally gone. Just come back to me, please. Fight the darkness, the shadows, or whatever it is."

Adrian looked at me for a long moment, then whispered, "Just like Rose."

"What?" I asked, not sure if I heard him well.

"Just like Rose, you dumped me when you needed to trust me," he whispered, a desperate look in his eyes. "And just like Rose, and like everyone else, you think I'm crazy."

"No," I said, horrified, my eyes widening. "Of course not. I love you with all my heart, Adrian-"

"But you don't want to stay with me, and you'd rather be with your father and the Alchemists and the people who hurt you, over and over again. Because everyone would choose anyone before me. Anyone." his voice was hard and certain as he said what he did.

I gasped. "No," I whispered again, moving to hug him tightly. "No, it's not true. I just want you back," I said, and he started shuddering. "I want you back, because this is all just a dream, and sooner or later, I'm going to wake up and you'll still be in a coma."

Adrian shook his head. "But why do you have to wake up?" he said in a desperate voice. "You could always stay with me."

"In that case, we'd both die," I said certainly. "We'd die, because dad and Zoe and the Alchemists and God knows who would all find us, and they'd dig a grave for us and put us both in it. We need to fight, because the fight isn't over." I paused for a second, then admitted something, "I can't fight without you, Adrian. Without you, I'm as good as dead. I need you there, because only then we can win."

Adrian looked into my eyes for a long moment, our noses touching, and then he sighed, turning his head away. "All right, Sage. But what can I do from here? I'm useless."

"Just hang on," I said, touching his arm with my fingers. "Hang on, don't talk to silver shadows or anyone else, because I want you mentally healthy when I wake you up. I'll call Ms. Terwilliger and Inez immediately, and we'll find a cure."

Adrian turned his head back to look at me. He was like a Greek god then, in the sun without protection, without the need for blood, without being underestimated, without being laughed at or hurt, without any of the bad things. I could understand his wish to stay where it was safe.

But this wasn't the real world, and I was going to help him come back. I was going to return him home, and then guard him from everyone forever.

"It's a promise," I whispered, and he smiled then.

"My flame in the dark," he said, watching me intently and making me blush. "Burning so brightly, without even realizing it."

i turned my head away. "You're saying that just to calm me down."

"And the fact that you're denying it is just so cute," he said, smiling and leaning forward a bit.

I rolled my eyes. **"Not everything about me is** **cute," **I said in a small voice.

**"That's true," **Adrian answered, leaning even closer. **"Some things are cute. The rest are sexy. So amazingly, agonizingly sexy that it's a wonder I can get anything done when all I ever think about is the taste of your lips," **he said in a low voice, touching my lips with his fingers, **"And the touch of your fingertips on my skin," **he continued, his hand wandering to rest on my knees, **"And the way your legs feel when I-"**

**"Adrian,"** I breathed, because he was too close for my brain to even work properly, **"Shut up."**

And suddenly, my back was on the floor, and Adrian was kissing me, and I realized I could never live without this. It was a dream, but thank God, it felt real enough.


	100. Chapter 100-author's note? That's Lame

**Author's** **note: **_No chapter tonight, because of: Sociology, Psychology, Latin, Biology, 1000 pages I still haven't read, because I want to stall a bit more (there's one part of chapter 24 and about 2-3 chapters of epilogue left), because my sister and I made some videos, because I'm so busy and… and it's not fair! I'm feeling like I'm going to blow up, but I have to do it somehow… God help me._

_And God help us all. _

_But to make you a bit happier, I'm just going to say that the next chapter will just reveal what happened with everyone else, and epilogue will be, like I said a thousand times, special. I'm very excited for it, for the new TFH trailer, and I have a surprise for you (I'm just not sure when I'll be able to make it). Now please don't be mad, go get some sleep and rest (unlike me, because I'll probably stay up until 3AM if I continue doing tasks at this rate), and see you tomorrow! Or at least I hope so, I might skip another chapter if I don't do everything in time._


	101. Chapter 24, part three: Promises

**Author's note: **_Sociology – check, psychology – check, vacuum cleaning – check. That leaves Latin, Ana Karenina (I haven't even touched it yet) and Biology left, and while taking a break, I decided to be useful and write something :)_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

Coming back to the real world wasn't easy. Not when the very meaning of my whole life was left with some… silver shadows in the dream world. And he was already going crazy – I could see it in his eyes.

But I didn't blame Adrian, of course. Why would I? For the God's sake, I should've stopped him from healing dad. As harsh as it sounds, I cared more about him than about Jared. And this situation would've been a lot easier if Adrian didn't become a superhero and save an evil man's soul.

I didn't like this situation. I didn't like it at all, but there had to be a way to help Adrian. The good thing was that his brain wasn't dead, but the bad thing was the fact that if he stayed in this state for a while, he was going to go crazy and become a silver shadow.

And I wanted him back.

So I got up, had a chat with Abe in which he reassured me nobody was going to kill Adrian until I was gone, and I returned to the crime scene.

The Re-education centre was… gone. There was nothing left – just an empty ground. The Alchemists really were effective. Or was I gone for that long?

But it didn't matter, and I was thankful for this event. A Re-education centre less meant less Re-educated people, and that meant more chance for resistance.

So logically, I returned to Palm Springs and it definitely wasn't easy. First of all, I had to steal a car because I just couldn't deal with Abe and his scientific theories anymore. Second, it was Palm Springs, and just the sight of the Ivashkinator made me start crying.

I don't know why I went to Adrian's apartment first, but I felt as if I had to. His clothes, scattered on the floor. The bowl from which Hopper fed. The ugly couch on which we made out so many times. The walls, the paintings, his paintings, the kitchen… and then the bedroom, the bed in which we slept so many times, so many times I didn't know how to cherish, and the smell of Adrian everywhere, and me, realizing I might forget that smell when it fades away from the air.

And then pure determination, hatred and anger, because once again I was interrupted, interrupted from my mourning.

"I knew I'd find you here," I heard a familiar voice say, "And you forgot to lock the door. You're starting to make mistakes, Sydney, and that's a very bad thing. You weren't careful, and you were predictable. What if I was someone else? What if I was Stanton, here to take you away?"

"But you're not, so just let me mourn," I whispered coldly.

I heard footsteps – he was getting closer to the little sacred place on the ground where I sat with my eyes closed. "You don't have time to do that," my father said harshly. "You have to get up, take responsibility for the princess and her guardians, and get the hell out of here. The Alchemists are aware of what happened, and now you're wanted not just for breaking the Alchemists rules, but for murder, too."

I opened my eyes in shock. "Murder?" I asked, astonished. "But I didn't kill anyone!"

Dad didn't shave, he didn't put his mask on, and he didn't look as perfect as he always did. For the first time in my life, I was seeing my own father as he really was – just a tired, weak old man. "Not intentionally," he said in a voice full of understanding, "but Keith and your mother died in the fire. And indirectly, you were the reason they died."

My eyes widened even more, if possible. "Keith's… he's… he's dead? And mom- you mean- you mean, Irene? They're dead? But, but… but how?" I stammered, my voice very low, so I wasn't sure if he heard me.

Dad kneeled before me, and he touched my cheek, smiling slightly. "Yes. They're both dead. And while you killed your enemies, you made some very serious ones. You're not like Marcus, and you don't have the same status as him. The Alchemists ordered everyone just taking him in if they ever find him. But they ordered everyone…" he stopped, as if preparing me for this, "Killing you on sight. They don't want to Re-educate you, daughter. They want to exterminate you, because they know what you are. And I couldn't stop them, so they banished me from the organization."

Dad was silent for a long moment, while I was trying to take it all in. I killed my own mother… and Keith… was I supposed to feel happy? Because I was feeling just horrified, simply horrified with myself. I killed someone. And now they want to kill me.

"And I think it might be a good thing," dad finally whispered, making me look up in astonishment. Seeing the look on my face, he sighed and elaborated. "Sydney, your… boyfriend, he gave his life to heal me, after I shot myself in the heart. Yes, suicide is forbidden and I'd surely go to hell, but his words, they… they opened my eyes, and I realized just how much I hurt you all in trying to achieve some non-existent goal. And then he gave me a second chance, giving his own life for mine. And that's… it's not evil. I don't think a human being would be capable of doing something so noble."

He touched my cheek again, and I realized I was crying. "I think the least I can do is keep the woman he loves safe. She just happens to be my daughter, my daughter who hates me, but I'll help her anyway. It's not like I have a choice, though, with the Alchemists becoming my enemies, too."

"Dad," I said in a low, broken voice, tears streaming down my cheeks, "Dad, I can't do this anymore."

"I know," he said gently, pulling me into a hug, and I held on as if I was going to die otherwise. "It's okay." He kissed the top of my head and pulled his hands through my hair, managing to calm me down within a few seconds, because I wasn't used to this. I was used to being insulted, being alone, being laughed at and never being good enough. But now… now my dad was back, and I felt stronger, because he was going to finally be with me.

"Now, we need to go," he said gently, as if afraid I was going to break. "We need to find the princess and leave, because they want to kill her, and with only two guardians, she's not going to last even for a minute."

I nodded and got up, fire in my eyes – I was going to do this for Adrian, and Jill, and Eddie and everyone who needed me.

On our way to Amberwood, dad told me what happened in – and after the fire.

Angeline and Trey were gone, probably to another continent, to live their happily ever after. From Angeline's words, I knew they were probably going to the Keepers, but I kept that information for myself. _May God help you_, I prayed silently, knowing they didn't hurt anyone intentionally.

But Rose and Dimitri were hunting them – apparently, Lissa wanted to punish them by herself – so I knew their chances were very, very slim.

Jill and Eddie were saved by Marcus, who sneaked out of the hallway after waking them up, while nobody was watching, and they were close the whole time, listening to what Jill told them over the bond. It proved to be very useful, since Marcus and Eddie were both able to save people from the fire afterwards. I didn't mention my talk with Jill neither, because it stirred up emotions and I didn't want to cry, and I wasn't sure if dad was going to react in any way.

Marcus was waiting for us in Amberwood, apparently determined to help his sister, too, and it made my heart grow. I wasn't alone in this journey, after all – I had my father, a person I was just beginning to meet, and my brother, another stranger who was just collateral damage of the whole situation.

After Zoe said goodbye to me and saved herself from the fire, Neil somehow managed to make her become herself again. She was going to help us, too, and even though she wanted to be an insider, she was wanted by the Alchemists, too. They probably didn't know she was Re-educated, but I wanted her safe with us.

Neil was in Amberwood, doing his duty and guarding Jill with Eddie. They were informed about the events and they were ready for anything, except for hordes of Alchemists with only one goal – to kill them.

Dad told me about the "special units" the Alchemists had, the cold-blooded killers who were trained for exterminating people the Alchemists didn't like. His knowledge was going to be an important thing, I knew, but in that moment, I didn't care about the ways of strangling.

The thought came back to me – _I killed someone._ And I didn't even flinch. Was I really evil, then, with dhampir blood running through my veins, intertwining with magic and making something unknown to this world? Or was it really so easy to bear, killing someone you hated?

Because I couldn't deny it – I did hate Keith, and I wanted him dead, but to kill him myself? I didn't even dream of it.

And then came the thought of my mother – the mother I never really met. Irene Sage-Dashkov. The woman who saw me only once, and who hated me. It was so easy, convincing myself I was evil. It was so easy, when my own mother told me so.

"Sydney?" dad asked uncertainly. "Is everything okay?"

I nodded, trying to get those disturbing thoughts out of my head. "I'm just thinking about Adrian. I need to find Ms. Terwilliger before we go. I have to ask her and the coven some things."

Dad's face tightened. "So you're really practicing magic?"

I nodded. "Yes, and I have, for months."

"I…" dad started uncertainly, "I practiced magic for a while, too, before I became an Alchemist. My mother taught me certain things – like fireballs, teleporting, becoming invisible and so, and I loved it, but when I became an Alchemist I started hating myself for being gifted. And I took it out on you – all of you, when I should've developed my abilities. But now I'm not able to help the boy, and I feel guilty."

It was so strange – seeing dad vulnerable, telling me these things. I didn't even remember my grandmother properly, because dad kept her hidden from us so well. And I felt jealous, for a second, because dad should've been the one to teach me how to use magic. But he didn't, because he thought we were all evil and unnatural.

"Dad, it's not your fault," I said gently, still in unfamiliar territory – trying to comfort my own father. In reality, it was his fault – it was all his fault, but didn't all souls have the right to be forgiven?

Dad looked at me for a moment. "I swear on God, and on the Holy Bible, I'll do everything in my power to save him. The princess told me his state was quite… hopeless, but if there's any way, any way at all, to save him, I'll find it." His tone was dead-serious, and I found myself believing in his words.

"Thank you," I whispered, my eyes being filled with tears again.

Dad cleared his throat. "So I can see you and the boy-"

"Adrian," I corrected him, being annoyed and trying not to laugh in the same time. I mean, he was going to call my boyfriend _the boy_? That was ridiculous.

"And Adrian were very close," he continued. "How did it happen? I mean, I hate to think you're evil and that I didn't teach you well, and you're not so stupid. But still, a Moroi? I wouldn't expect it… not in a million years."

I laughed then. "I didn't expect it neither," I said truthfully, "But it's just how Adrian is – you have to love him, want it or not. He just crept into my heart without me even noticing it, and then, one day, I realized I… I realized leaving him would be a very, very bad idea that'd leave me hurt and scared." I wasn't sure whether to mention Marcus and Mexico and the whole thing, but keeping it general was easier.

Dad accepted the answer. "He seems like a noble man, not just because he healed me, but because he seemed as if he wanted to jump in front of a bullet for you the whole time we were in the centre," he said honestly, and it made me laugh again.

"Yes, he was ready to do it," I said through a laugh. "He was always overprotective. When Sonya asked for a sample of my blood, he was ready to kill both her and Dimitri. And when Keith attacked me, he jumped to fight him with his bare hands… but he wasn't like that before. I really changed him."

Dad glanced at me, and said, "You changed, too. I know I can't really say that, since I never really knew you, but it's visible on your face. I was able to see it in St. Louis – you seemed to shine, you seemed happier. That's something we, Alchemists, never find, and it's exactly why mom is divorcing me. And I wanted Zoe for myself…" He shook his head, then added, "I don't know. It all just seems wrong, now that I think about it."

So I realized I might have a father, after all, and that I needed to give him a chance. There was that part of me that screamed, "He's fooling you! He's lying! It's some game!" but I didn't particularly care about it. This was my father, after all, and if he was willing to help me, then I was going to take that offer.

Now, hours later, listening to Jill's sobs wasn't easy. I brought Adrian's clothes and things he loved, such as aunt Tatiana's records, to his hiding place in LA, and after a long fight with dad, he let me bring the Ivashkinator too. I simply couldn't leave the car.

Hopper and Lily were brought here, too, to guard my Adrian, since I wouldn't be able to take care of him. Abe assured me he'd be safe, on infusion and that he wouldn't die, and I had to take that offer.

But I had other things on my mind, and they included keeping Zoe safe. So after dad gave me the permission, I approached Zoe and asked her to stay and guard Adrian with Neil. He'd be alright if they were with him, I knew. And upon seeing the look in my eyes, she agreed.

So now Jill was sobbing, hugging his body, while Eddie tried to soothe her by patting her back. She had him, thank God, and none of this was her fault, but she still had to run, too, because a price was put on her head.

And then dad asked them all to leave, and I was left alone with him.

Oh, he was handsome. And watching him look peaceful in his sleep was amazing. But the joy lasted only for a moment, because I remembered he'd probably never wake up from the dream.

Ms. Terwilliger told me as much.

"I asked the Stelle, and they all said they're not aware of any spell existing, that would be able to do something like that," she said in an apologetic tone.

"But can't we make one?" I asked desperately. "Like we did before?"

Ms. Terwilliger sighed. "Melbourne, the spell would take months to be properly made. And even then, I don't think any of us would be able to perform it safely. It's most likely just damage his brain, or his soul, and make it worse. You need to find Inez, and you need to ask her, but I don't think she holds the answer. You do. And you need to find it, before it's too late."

So I slowly approached Adrian, moved the hair on his forehead, and kissed it gently. "I'm not sure if I can do it in time," I whispered, fear overwhelming me. "And if I lose you, I'll die."

Then I took a deep breath, and fiercely said, "But it won't be too late. I'll make a spell for you, a spell that won't harm you. That's a promise. And you'll come back, Adrian Ivashkov, because we have some unfinished business."

A light kiss on his lips sealed the promise.

But then it was time to go – to leave this life, to leave Palm Springs, to leave memories, to leave Adrian's body, to leave the mission and all opportunities it gave us.

But my father was on my left side, my brother on my right, my best friends Jill and Eddie behind me, and I hoped it'd be enough.

It had to.


	102. Seventh Author's Note

**Author's** **note: **_Just the epilogue left, it's going to be a long one and I don't want to ruin it, so no. No chapter tonight, because of Sociology, my native language and a book. I got an A in Psychology and Chemistry, if anyone is interested, so I hope you're happy for me! :)__  
_

_Hope I didn't ruin your night or anything. I really am sorry, but the situation is kind of over anyway ;D_


	103. Epilogue, part one: Suffer

**Author's note: **_Hello, people, those who haven't forgotten about me…_

_I won't bore you with the F I got and the stress and disappointment that came afterwards (it's my first F, in my whole life), or those amazing As I managed to get (only Math and Latin are still not As), but I will bore you with the excuse about my health – I had a very big headache today that made me miss a rehearsal (and the way I've been acting, I'll probably be thrown out before Monday), and I'm going to the ocular doctor tomorrow, which means I'll probably go on an operation. These days have been hard, and Anna Karenina still needs to be read, but I want to do this now. There will be one more chapter – it will be a long A/N with all answers to your reviews and my goodbye to this wonderful story, and further plans, and TFH trailers, and everything._

_I'm sorry for not responding to your PMs. I wanted to do it today, but the headache stopped me. I almost threw up, but thank God, I'm okay now. _

_Hopefully, you're okay too._

_Ah, there'll be two chapters left, because it's 12PM and I want to sleep, but I haven't finished yet. Hope you don't mind! :)_

_Richelle Mead owns the characters._

I won't lie – it wasn't easy.

Of course it wasn't easy. The love of my life was in the spirit world, trapped in his own mind with no chance of getting out. I was wanted by the Alchemists – and the police, I found out later, because I was obviously a dangerous murderer. I was carrying a burden – the Moroi princess, of course, who was in even bigger danger because vampires, dhampirs and humans were all looking for her, while the Moroi and dhampirs had no interest in killing me.

So no, it wasn't easy, and many bad memories are still haunting me – the memory of loneliness after Adrian didn't visit me in a spirit dream for almost a month - he nearly became one of those stupid silver shadows, but thank God, I found a way to reach him through magic - or when Jill nearly died, or when the bond broke, or when dad sacrificed himself for me…

Or Zoe, and her hatred towards Adrian, or Eddie, and the fight he and Jill had, or my brother and the time when he got a concussion and threw up for days, making me think he suffered serious damage…

Or failing in trying to find Inez, and then having no goal, and then being lost in the world of people who hated us all, and then dad, holding my hands, helping me stay on my feet through it all.

_Dad._ It's such a delicate subject for me, because I found a father and then lost him after a short period of time. There was no time to talk about our favorite colors or things we wanted to do, or things dads and daughters talked about. Nothing. He never saw his grandchildren, or lived to see us all be happy because of him and the sacrifices he made by leaving the Alchemists.

And oh, he made sacrifices. He got shot two times, and then died after a couple days, because there was no way to properly treat his wounds. By the time all of this happened, my Alchemist kit was long gone somewhere down the road.

But I'm probably not making any sense currently, so I'll try to start from the beginning.

As you already know, our next goal was Inez , and we tried to find her for over a month. The woman just disappeared, and there was no way to reach her, so that was one of our major goals just simply… banishing. I even tried doing a scrying spell, but there was a protection spell that wouldn't let me through.

I was so angry, but I didn't have time to sit down and think – the Alchemists spotted us and they just busted into our hideout place, shooting dad and giving Marcus a concussion in the process. Thank God, my magic was able to save us all and we had several minutes to run away before the ambushers' sight came back to them.

Somewhere along the way, I realized my magic wasn't enough, because I also had my limitations.

The tension between Adrian and me became… unbearable, and it wasn't a positive tension. He used to visit me via spirit dreams every single night, and every single night I slowly lost a part of him.

By the time I realized it, it was too late.

At first, he just became unfocused for a while, but later his sentences made no sense, and I found ourselves talking about things that didn't exist. Oh, the times when Adrian just did those things were wonderful.

But then he started being aggressive. Not exactly the way you probably imagine it, because he never hit me – I think that he'd never, ever hit me because it was just the way we worked – but he did change, and there was no way to stop it. When he kissed me, I ended up on the floor with my back hurting from the force of the fall. And then he'd pull me flush against him, and it'd hurt, because he seemed not to see the limit.

Then he started yelling at me, because he was able to see how I felt through my aura.

I hated my aura, because I couldn't disguise my true feelings. I was scared for him, and even though I was never scared of him, I was scared in general. I was scared because I realized he forgot other people existed in the world – except for his 'buddies,' silver shadows, of course – and he forgot… he forgot how to act around other people.

But those were the good days, Adrian-wise. The good days in which he actually smelled and felt like him, the good days where I was able to actually imagine it was all real.

Then his image started to fade away, and he didn't visit me every night, but once in every week.

After a month, I realized I was talking with a ghost – the harsh reality just suddenly hit me, because I was so good in deceiving myself, making myself believe I was just imagining it all, that I gasped. Adrian didn't smell, or feel like anything anymore. I couldn't distinct the color of the shirt and the trousers he was wearing, because they were both silver, and the only thing that actually had color were his eyes.

Oh, his eyes and their depths, slowly disappearing. His pupils, slowly expanding and expanding every night, swallowing the emerald and becoming black. His hair, slowly becoming silver, and me, standing there and watching it slowly happen. Not able to change it, or do anything.

At first I tried – I tried so hard, so hard to bring him back. But no, he kept talking about silver shadows and the spirit world and the way it felt to talk with his aunt, and the way it felt to fly through endless space, having no weight, and all those ridiculous things he used to say, his voice slowly becoming just an echo in my head.

So one day I broke, I broke and told him everything, and we had a fight that lasted for hours and that left me choking in tears in my own bed.

It was because he said he'd never visit me again, and because he told me goodbye. He told me so many harsh things I didn't even want to remember, things that still haunted me.

"Mom?" I heard an uncertain voice say from behind me, and turned around from the car. I was dirty, and another day in the garage certainly didn't leave me smelling like the perfume I put on in the morning, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I loved the smell of the garage, and motor oil, and tires and cars in general.

And I loved how my son was always afraid he was interrupting something very, very important when I was in the garage. I grinned. "Yeah, baby?"

My son smiled at me, obviously in relief. His green eyes lightened up, reminding me of his father so much that it hurt. "I know you're busy talking to the Ivashkinator, but Mary says she's hungry, and you know how she gets when she doesn't get what she wants," he said, drawing his eyebrows together in something between annoyance and anger.

I nodded, rolling my eyes. "It's okay. The Ivashkinator can wait for a while – it's not like it's going to go anywhere while I make lunch," I said, closing and patting the hood of the yellow Mustang I loved so much. The Mustang that made my eyes fill with tears, while so many wonderful memories overwhelmed me, and it was the image of Adrian, waiting for me and leaning against its hood that lingered in my mind.

I turned around, blinking away tears. I made myself busy with putting the dirty gloves away and changing my clothes into something that wasn't smudged with oil, but as always, my son caught up on the sad emotions. "You're sad again," he said, matter-of-factly, and I shook my head. I felt strong, small hands wrap around my waist, and this time I couldn't blink tears away. They just began making their way out of my eyes and onto my cheeks. Thank God, my little son wasn't able to see it.

"I'm sorry," he whined, burying his head in my back, "I shouldn't have come. We aren't supposed to interrupt you while you're with the Ivashkinator. I'm sorry, mom."

A sob escaped me and I turned around and kneeled, hugging my son tightly. "It's okay, baby," I whispered emotionally, "You can interrupt whenever you like. It's just hard to keep it inside of me sometimes."

Josh leaned back, pretending to a strong boy – though he was so strong, so incredibly strong for an 8-year-old – and I resisted the urge to ruffle his dark-brown hair. He was a replica of his father, and all their features were exactly the same. I didn't find anything mine in this boy, except for his personality – he stayed up until 3 AM, reading books, and he was so impressed by architecture that I sometimes wondered if he loved it even more than me – and I loved that fact. I loved the fact that I had a little Adrian in front of me, but seeing him was so hard sometimes, because I remembered the way he was born every single time those emerald eyes looked up at me…

"I know how to make you happy," he said excitedly, a grin forming on his lips, "Just wait here for a moment. And don't cry, mom, it'll all be okay. You'll see."

I rolled my eyes, still crying, but nodded and he ran away. _God knows what he's up to this time,_ I thought, remembering the last time this happened and the way his face looked when he offered his teddy bear to me. He was so proud of himself and so nervous because he wasn't sure how I'd react.

But he was a wonderful kid – a miracle from God.

So I sighed, settled on the ground and remembered it all.

I remembered how the first night without his father felt. And then the second, the third, the fourth, and the realization that I probably wasn't going to see him ever again.

It's funny, but the person who kept me sane through all of this was Marcus. He was so supportive that it's astonishing, because he was the overprotective brother who actually had a fight with my boyfriend once… But he woke me up after every fight, and he hugged me while I cried, and he told me it was going to be okay, that I was going to bring Adrian back, that if anyone could do it, it was me… He gave me the strength I didn't even know I had.

But almost a month passed before I made a spell for connecting with the spirits, and another three days before I found him.

In that month, we had to run away to Canada and try to heal dad's wound, but the Alchemists were everywhere, so we had to run and run and never stop.

With Marcus constantly throwing up and dad's shoulder wound getting an infection, it wasn't easy, but they were both strong Sage men, so we somehow made it to safety.

To be more accurate, we made it to the Keepers. It was practically the only safe place, because I knew the inhabitants, I knew they'd keep us safe, and I knew the Alchemists wouldn't hunt us because they were horrified when it came to the Keepers and their tradition.

But I was sweating because there was one inconvenience considering those wild people – I wanted to avoid a certain someone, a certain someone Eddie nearly choked to death later.

It was Angeline, of course, and she was with the Keepers, of course.

Stopping Eddie from snapping her neck proved to be impossible by words – I had to use my magic on him to make him see reason.

Trey and Angeline were just teenagers in love, teenagers who were married now because Trey obviously managed to defeat Angeline's brother somehow, and the thought alone kind of shocked me because… because they were as old as I was, and marriage was the last thing on my mind in those moments.

I managed to forgive them, and Jill did, too, but she and Eddie had a fight because he was so angry, and I understood. Angeline failed him, and she failed us all because she proved to be weak. She disappointed Eddie, because she put herself in front of the Moroi – Adrian, in this case – she was guarding, and now she had her happy ending while all our lives were messed up.

So I decided not to think about it. I found a cave and sat there for hours and hours, not eating or doing anything except for making a spell, and I finally managed to do it after three days.

But I cut myself off from the real world for those three days, so I didn't know anything about Marcus' bleeding nose or my father's raised temperature. Nobody bothered saying anything, and I didn't ask because I was so caught up in thinking about Adrian.

And when I finally found him, he wasn't Adrian, but just a silver shadow – literally, a silver shadow, not the Adrian Ivashkov he once was.

"Adrian," I whispered then, trying and failing to touch him.

"Adrian," I whispered again when other silver shadows attacked me, trying to make me return to the real world and trying to make me stop influencing Adrian.

"Sydney," I heard a soft voice say, making me return to the present and realize I was crying again. I just shook my head, wiping tears away, trying to compose myself, but I knew it was impossible, and the tears kept falling and falling, and nothing could stop them.

"Josh told me what happened," he said softly, "And I told him to go play with Marcy for a while. It's the code we usually use and he knows we both need time. He's a bright kid."

I nodded, smiling despite the memories and everything, because they actually had a code for this situation. Even this was making them bond. It was a wonderful thing. "Yes," I replied in a whisper. "He's the smartest child I know. He's a dhampir, after all, and dhampirs are supposed to be both smart and strong."

"Come here," he said in a happy voice, and I immediately moved so that he was able to wrap his arms around me, making me feel safe and complete, and letting me breathe him in, touch him, make myself believe this was real, not just a dream.

"You have no idea how sorry I am for everything that happened," Adrian whispered into my hair, "And I swear, if I could turn the clock back, I would, without thinking, and I'd rather commit suicide than make you see me like that." An image of Adrian, a shadow, showed up in my mind and another sob escaped me.

But Adrian's tone was fierce, and I knew he was serious, so I forced myself to lean back and shake my head. "No," I whispered. "No. It'd just hurt me more – knowing you didn't fight. This way, I know you tried."

"And I failed," he said in that faraway voice of his. "I failed, and I pushed you away, and you lost me. For good."

"It doesn't matter," I whispered, and then we both just settled on being close to each other.

My mind wandered back to the past, and what happened after Adrian became a silver shadow. Though he was here, with me, it was hard to even think about happiness because things just hurt so much.

After silver shadows attacked me and made me get out of the spirit world, I didn't give up. I just kept trying harder and harder, knowing he could become my Adrian again, if only he saw the truth. His eyes were still emerald, so it meant he didn't lose himself completely, but I knew I was running out of time.

My brother's state kept worsening, but he hid it from me so that I thought he was perfectly healthy when he brought me food. Without him, I would've starved to death, because I couldn't stop thinking and trying to solve things over and over again and trying to find a solution… a solution that didn't exist.

I knew about the state my father was in, too, because the wound on his shoulder got really messy and the Keepers obviously treated him with wrong plants. I knew I had to find a way to help him, too, but I left my Alchemist kit in one of the cars we stole. I thought I wouldn't need it, and I was instantly proved wrong.

So then I focused on helping Adrian and dad, and while both were resigned to deal with their destinies, I knew I had to help them.

Bingo.

I made a spell for dad, a spell which was able to boost his immunity system so that it'd fight the bacteria, and it worked. It actually worked.

"You want to talk about it?" Adrian's voice brought me back to reality, into his lap and arms and into my fragile self who had her second breakdown in three months. It immediately made a new, bad feeling appear in my stomach.

Adrian paused for a second, then said in astonishment, "You're embarrassed?" I tried to hide my feelings, but it was too late, so I just swallowed and shrugged. "But why?" Adrian asked, breathless. "There's nothing to be ashamed of! Crying is what girls do-"

"It's the second time in three months," I countered, sniffing loudly. "I'm becoming… emotional. Do you think it has something to do with the aging thing?"

Adrian laughed then, and touched my hair, pulling his fingers through it. "I don't see a single grey hair in here," he said playfully, and I rolled my eyes.

"Like you'd see," I said, "I'm blonde, anyway. And you're saying that just to make me feel better."

Adrian hugged me, then sighed. "Okay, so then I'll start, and hopefully you won't be a grandma by the time I'm done."

I nodded and closed my eyes, knowing this was going to be a tough conversation, but we always had these conversations and admitted things in times when I got overwhelmed by everything. "Being an SS," he said our code, because we both agreed the name 'silver shadows' bore too many bad memories with it, "was like drowning. You know you're dying, but all you can do is let yourself go, because the more you struggle, the deeper you sink.

"So I let go," he went on, "And went with the flow of madness, and ended up as… nothing. I hated you in then, and I hated myself for loving you. All I could think about was the fact that you didn't want to stay with me, and that I loved you too much to let you go, so I slowly destroyed myself by pushing you away, while desperately wanting to be with you in the same time."

"Oh, Adrian," I heard myself whisper and he leaned back to look at me, "If only I knew. If only I knew, I would've fought harder."

Adrian whispered, "My fierce girl, you fought hard enough," affectively before kissing me and making me realize he suffered as much, if not more than me throughout everything.

I shook my head. "I wasn't there when you needed me," I said, making Adrian sigh heavily.

"Sydney, you were in a damn coma for over four months," he said suddenly, "You can hardly blame yourself for anything. My only problem was freaking out because you wouldn't wake up, wouldn't respond to spirit dreams, or magic, or anything, and I had no idea you were fighting the shadows and Alicia all alone. _I_ wasn't there when _you_ needed me, and I can never forgive myself for it." His eyes were blazing with fire and I knew he believed in every single word he said.

"But there was no way for you to know," I said, trying to be content with just telling him how strong he was. "And in the end, we won. Isn't that the only thing that matters?"

Adrian sighed again, touching my left cheek with a silver tattoo on it, the tattoo I never broke, making me shiver. "Yes, it is," he whispered, "But sometimes, we have to remember all the sacrifices the others made for that victory. Otherwise, their sacrifices would become pointless, and I don't want to forget the state you were in. I don't even understand how Josh came out of it unharmed."

I smiled, remembering how brave my son was, being born while his mother was in a coma. It seemed to me that we witches were able to break every single rule of the universe, when we needed to. In every other case, we defended those rules with our lives.

It was a hard battle, indeed, and a battle in which we lost so many things. For example, when I, a desperate girl, decided to go look for Inez or any other witch in the world that knew anything about spirit or silver shadows, my friends all decided to follow me – Jill and Eddie had to go, too, because I knew Eddie would do something bad to Angeline and Trey if they stayed.

The Alchemists, of course, found us and then everything collapsed.

It was Donna Stanton who fired a bullet, and it was Jared Sage who jumped in front of his daughter, saving her from death.

It was Marcus Finch who learned a few spells, fireballs among them, and he threw one at the Alchemists.

And of course, it was the Alchemists who shot Jill.

Straight in the heart.

Eddie went crazy, of course, nearly killing everyone, and himself, in the process. I was too busy looking at dad's wound to think about anything else, though. It wasn't that bad, but it was bad enough to hurt him badly if not treated properly. I should've gotten him to a hospital, but I believed in my magic instead.

And I failed, of course, so he died a few days later. He did manage to tell me he was happy to finally close his eyes, hoping God forgave him for everything bad he did in his life. He did manage to ask me to be peaceful, and he managed to make me promise I'd bring Adrian back.

Then he closed his eyes.

Marcus was in a bad state, too, and I only noticed it when he started looking like a zombie. I saw him throw up once, and quickly concluded he was sick and needed help.

I didn't make the same mistake with Marcus – I got him into a hospital and thank God, they managed to help him because there was still time. He damaged his skull a bit, but not treating it properly was a much bigger problem. Anything could become a problem, I learned along the way.

And in most cases, it did.


	104. Epilogue, part two: Inception

**Author's note:** _I have to apologize for yesterday's chapter – except for not making any sense (I hope it will, after this, last chapter), it has so many mistakes, mostly grammatical, that I'm so embarrassed… But I was under influence of a headache, so I'm pretty astonished it actually turned out to be as weird as it is. I can actually connect the dots and make an ending._

_As for those who aren't sure about Jared and his death even after Sydney's spell, I'll talk about it either in the chapter, or if I forget, in the A/N tomorrow. _

_And as for Katrick, to be able to PM me you need to go to my profile, and above my profile picture is a little message box. You'll have to log in first, but I hope it's not a problem._

_I'm not going to cry because this is the end. And please, don't mind the totally imaginary version of SA, but I don't have time to write about real things. Just my imagination this time, and I hope it'll do its thing. _

_Love you all, and Richelle Mead owns these wonderful characters! :)_

There was a thought bugging me, a thought which made wheels spin in my head, and it all suddenly became logical.

I was over-emotional, I was weak for days, I threw up three times, and my period was late…

"And now I'm worried, because you're making that _I just realized something and I don't like it _face," Adrian said, pulling his fingers through my hair and studying me. "And your aura is hard to decipher. Panic, excitement, happiness, fear?" he asked uncertainly.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just not sure if this is a good thing or not," I said truthfully. "I mean, I'm almost thirty-"

"Twenty-seven," Adrian countered, making me sigh. I was so worried about the whole aging thing, because I knew Moroi aged differently than humans and I knew I was already starting to look like a grandma.

"You're not a grandma, Sage, you're gorgeous," Adrian said, as if reading my thoughts. "So you finally realized you're not even thirty yet? I mean, how am I supposed to act? I am thirty, actually."

"I don't think you're qualified to talk about age, because you're not human and you're not pregnant-"

Oh God.

I shut my eyes tightly, not sure how Adrian was going to react. He was silent for a long moment.

"Another one?" he said finally, making me feel even more nervous. "Our fourth?"

I opened my eyes, just to see him watching me intently with his emerald eyes. "Yes. But I know it's too much, we can always go to a clinic and…"

I trailed off after Adrian raised an eyebrow. "Too much?" he asked incredulously. "Sydney, I thought you were aware of my plans. I want to have as many kids with you as you can endure. So no, four is not nearly enough. I want at least six, all half-me and half-you."

Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "_Six?_" I asked through a hysteric laugh. "Adrian, I think that's definitely too much."

"It was worth a try," he said, grinning, and then he pulled me closer. "But now let's just celebrate."

When his lips touched mine, I was brought back to some other world, a time that seemed so far away, yet so close. It was as if things happened yesterday and a hundred years ago in the same time.

I remembered when I realized I was pregnant, pregnant after spending only one night – or day, I'm not really sure in which hour it happened – with Adrian. And the fact that the child's father was a spirit wasn't helping me deal with it. I was only 19, after all, and it was shocking.

And I had no one to advise me, no one to tell me everything was going to be okay. I mean, how could it be okay when I was pregnant, hunted by the Alchemist, when the father of my child was in a coma, when my own father was dead and my brother in the hospital, fighting for his life?

I skipped a part of the story – a part considering Jill.

I never stopped blaming myself for what happened to Jill. I never stopped blaming myself for being so selfish and staying with someone who was going to die, while ignoring someone who needed my help.

My dear Jill was shot, straight in the heart, by the Alchemists, and I didn't even flinch when that happened. I didn't scream and I didn't cry, because I was thinking only about my father and my selfish wishes for him to be okay, to help me find a way to make it right.

So it was Eddie who brought her to a hospital, it was Eddie to whom they told she died, it was Eddie who screamed and cried and who couldn't do anything about it.

But I was guilty, and looking into Eddie's eyes after her death was impossible.

_Death_. Such a delicate word, meaning so many things. _Rebirth_ is the explanation I love the most.

"Adrian?" I heard a soft voice ask from somewhere far away, bringing me back to my present self. I found myself on the floor, covered by Adrian's body, his hands frozen on my waist and his lips frozen on my neck.

"Sydney?" the voice said again, and someone knocked on the door.

Adrian groaned, rolling away from me. "Can we kill her so that the bond starts working again? If she was in my head, she wouldn't have even thought about interrupting now."

"I can hear you," Jill said through a laugh as she opened the door of the garage, "And I don't think any of us would want me in your head during a time like this."

Adrian laughed. "I thought you loved me more than that, Jailbait," he said softly as he got up.

I started to get up, too, but Adrian helped me with his strong hands. That reminded me of another thing. "Well, since you wasn't able to hear the conversation, I need to tell you something," I said gently, taking my time in admiring Jill's perfect figure. Her long blonde hair framed her face perfectly and she looked just like a runaway model with her thin body and pale skin. And even though she was twenty-four years old, I would've given her only eighteen.

"Did Adrian finally admit he's not perfect?" she asked hopefully, and I couldn't suppress a laugh when Adrian answered, "Hey!"

"There's another one on the way," Adrian said quickly, and Jill stopped laughing.

But then the grin was back on her face, and the next thing I know, Jill is hugging me tightly to herself, saying "Congratulations!" in a high-pitched voice.

"That is so wonderful," she went on as she hugged Adrian, still not releasing me, "Now I'll be aunt for the sixth time! I mean, Lissa's kids are all fine, but yours… they're just… I feel like…" she sighed, shaking her head. "I'm just so happy for you," she finally said.

I nodded, understanding completely what she meant. It was the same for me when I thought about Zoe's son and Carly's daughter. Carly's little girl was wonderful, but little Adam… he just had a special place in my heart. Then again, my love for Adam and my love for my own children wasn't in the same category. Those were just the things we couldn't explain, but we knew how to identify them.

Then I remembered how Jill would probably never know about that feeling – she and Eddie had problems with children. They both wanted them desperately, but from some reason – Adrian's theory was that it had something to do with the bond and it's breaking, because of Rose and because of the miracle that brought Jill back to life – it just wouldn't happen. Eddie often claimed God gave him Jill, but took the other form of happiness from him. It was a sad thing, watching them get excited and then disappoint themselves over and over again.

It took a while – and by while, I mean years – for Eddie to forgive me, and we were still on shaky ground, but we were friends again. It was mostly because they lived in the house next to ours and because we were together almost every day, so no communication was very hard to obtain.

Especially after Josh broke his arm and we all panicked, but Eddie, the only dhampir in the area qualified to help, carried him into a room and they both came back with smiles on their faces, Josh clutching tightly at Eddie's arm.

Eddie was a dhampir, after all, so he was able to talk about dhampir abilities and the phases a dhampir went through with the children. They kind of helped us realize the silence between us was pointless, and from that event on, Eddie and I actually started talking with each other.

But how did Jill survive? She died, after all. Her heart stopped beating. She was dead.

Eddie made a mistake – he took her to a human hospital, so when her heart started beating again after a few minutes of clinical death, human doctors couldn't explain it. Moroi doctors wouldn't have started to panic, because they believed in magic and all the things that came with it.

Jill's resurrection was one of those things.

Marcus was in a bad state, too, partially because he overused magic and his immunity system weakened, and partially because of the concussion he hid from me. If he only said there was something wrong, I would've been able to help him.

We had to keep running, and I didn't want to leave Marcus alone, so I had to ask Abe for another favor, and he found a guarded place in which I put Marcus, Jill and Eddie. Jill protested, but both Eddie and I were aware of the weak state she was in, so they stayed behind.

And then I was alone. Truly alone, with something inside of me that was going to become a new life soon, something that made me feel tired and weak and strong and happy and sad and scared and excited, all at once.

My obligation was to bring the child's father to him, or her. I had to find Adrian and bring him back, and not only because of myself.

I was heading back to Palm Springs, hoping Ms. Terwilliger would have an advice, and I fell asleep in the car one night.

Adrian never told me why he did what he did next. He never told me why he contacted me that night, changing all our lives by doing it.

I didn't tell him about Josh – I didn't need to. He was almost a spirit by that point, and his eyes widened when he saw a small aura in me.

"He can't be mine," he said immediately. "That means you were with someone else, and that means I made a mistake by summoning you here."

The first thing that shocked me then was the way he said _he_. He told me later he identified male feelings in the aura and concluded that the child was a boy immediately, which proved to be helpful later.

He also told me he identified anger and hurt in the baby's aura immediately after he said Josh wasn't his, and it made him see the truth.

"I'm a father," Adrian said through a chuckle, and I realized we were sitting in the living room. Jill was screaming, "Okay, Mary, I'll make you a sandwich, just please don't stab me with a knife!" and I immediately smiled. Marty loved stabbing people.

I turned my head slightly, and of course, Eddie and Josh were on the ground, talking about something obviously very interesting. Eddie was saying something and gesticulating something with his arms, while Josh watched him, wide-eyed, nodding along every word. They were probably talking about guardians, or the adventures of Palm Springs gang. It was Josh's favorite story.

"Where's Jared?" I asked Adrian, turning my head around to look at him.

He rolled his eyes. "What do you think? He's upstairs, and Rose is trying to make him talk. Ever since Dimitri told her he said a word in Russian, she's been trying to make him say something in English. They're abusing our child, and he actually likes making Rose angry."

I laughed, leaning forward to bury my head in the crook of his neck, breathing him in. "He's only three years old. Of course he's speaking Russian," Adrian continued, and I shook my head, still laughing.

"Rose is impossible," I said truthfully. "We should give him as a present to them, so that he can annoy them home, too."

Adrian pulled his hands through my hair. "We could do something like that, one day. Give birth to a child and then give it to them, because they're all so desperate. They're always here." I wasn't sure if he was joking or if he was actually serious, and I didn't want to think about it further, so I settled on just calming myself down by the feel of him, the real him, next to me.

It was the same when he woke up.

Zoe and Neil were still in that safe place Abe allowed us to use, and they were both kind of crazy. Zoe was wanted by the Alchemists, after all, and their duty was guarding a man in a coma, so they had to be a bit jumpy, after two months of just sitting around and not doing anything.

I just barged in one day with a spell, put my palm on Adrian's forehead and chanted in Latin, over and over again, until I channeled my energy into his body, making his soul come back.

After he found out about Josh, he was willing to cooperate. Josh changed everything, and if it wasn't for him, I would've lost Adrian.

So Adrian woke up, and I collapsed beside him.

I didn't remember much after that. I just knew that I blacked out, then woke up for a few seconds, then blacked out again, and that was it. I also remembered being cold, and asking myself it this was how death felt like – losing yourself in time and space, completely fading away…

Adrian told me what happened after I collapsed. He told me he woke up, but that it wasn't pleasant – he felt heavy, as if he lost something divine, but he also felt a thousand pounds lighter. There was no darkness, no bad effects – my spell made sure to channel it all into me – and by the time he got used to being his old self, Zoe was already screaming and I was already in some half-conscious state.

This continued for days – my body didn't react well to all the darkness that accumulated in Adrian for years, and I was in a delirious state. Nobody knew what exactly my spell did, so they didn't know what to do, and with me being pregnant, it was a very delicate situation.

It ended up with Zoe being angry and disgusted with Adrian, because she knew I didn't solve the problem – I just channeled it into myself.

It proved to be a good thing. I hated silver shadows, I hated them for what they did to Adrian, and I was stronger. I was able to fight back, because I had my magical abilities, and even though it was a hard battle – silver shadows were much more powerful than I thought – I won in the end. They put images in my head, they haunted me, they made me hallucinate, and I literally was crazy by the time the battle was over.

I still saw images, ugly images, sometimes. I still found myself talking to my father, or Adrian's aunt, but Adrian'd find me and soothe me every single times. I'd never get rid of the feeling I got sometimes – the feeling of losing focus and being pulled into another world, because silver shadows left their spiritual trail on me – but my family understood. They knew this was a consequence of a choice, a choice to help the person I loved more than anything, and I never regretted it.

Something else happened while I was in the spirit world, though I could never be sure if it was real or just a dream.

Alicia came. She just materialized out of thin air, her face burned and filled with shards, and she tried to kill me in many ways. Sometimes she'd try to strangle me, sometimes drain me, sometimes she put me on fire, and sometimes she hit my head with the wall.

Adrian believed it to be a true event, and he believed that I won, but I believed I imagined it all.

It was because I still saw her sometimes, in the background of the room, in the corner of my eye. And I was afraid that one day, she'd come closer and hurt my husband, or my children.

I would've stayed in the spirit world, all alone, if it wasn't for Josh. He again saved one of his parents, and this time, it was me.

Adrian told me what happened after four months of desperate searching for a cure. He wasn't in a nice position – he didn't know anything about what happened while he was in a coma, he was still unstable because of his experience with silver shadows, and I was pregnant and trapped in the world he ran away from, doing and becoming God knows what.

Zoe wasn't making it any easier – she was furious, demanding from Adrian to bring me back. I understood why she told him that, but I couldn't understand why she still held that grudge against Adrian, after all these years.

It all made Adrian feel nervous, annoyed and terrified. I was in a coma for months, just like he was, and though the Alchemists weren't able to find us, nothing was okay.

When I started shifting in pain, Adrian started panicking.

I don't remember giving birth to Josh – I only remember images, images of Adrian, tears running down his cheeks while he cupped my cheeks, and I remember the smell of blood and pain.

But Adrian was with me through it all, and it woke me up. It woke me up from a long dream, a long dream in which I was alone with my madness, not giving up, still holding on to that one bright spot that made me remember the spirit world wasn't the world I wanted to live in. it woke me up, but it didn't erase the memories.

"Josh!" Jill yelled, making me blink and return to the present. "If you want a sandwich, better come here before Mary eats everything!"

Josh gasped and immediately got up and ran towards the kitchen, leaving Eddie alone while he was in the middle of a sentence.

"Guess he loves food more than me," Eddie said matter-of-factly and Adrian laughed. It was that soft, real laugh that made me come back to my old self and remember Palm Springs and those happy times in which I was perfectly normal.

The whole thing affected us all – Jill had a scar on the left side of her chest, Eddie looked older than twenty-seven, Adrian had a few silver strands of hair, and I was partially crazy. Rose and Dimitri gave up on hunting Angeline down and focused on protecting Lissa – her first child, Daniel, is older than Josh for just a month – but it left trails on them, too. They both loved Adrian, Jill, Eddie and me, and it was hard for them not to know where any of us was.

Another sad thing happened while I was in that coma. It took months for me to actually remember it, and it took days for Adrian to decide to tell me.

Hopper and Lily.

Adrian didn't manage to warm me up when I found out they were quartz crystal again. I cried and cried for hours, and Adrian actually had to call Ms. Terwilliger to ask for her help.

She just laughed and told us to summon them again. After Alicia died, Lily wasn't bonded to her anymore, so she was a free callistanna now – callistannas obviously didn't die after a year and a day, but they just returned to their original form and they could be summoned again.

"Hopper, no!" I heard Mary squeak, and I knew he was eating his way through the sandwiches.

"Should we intervene?" I asked, turning my head to look at Adrian. He just shook his head, a beautiful smile on his face, and I couldn't resist the urge to kiss him. Even after all these years, he still managed to make me feel like a teenager whenever he smiled.

"You're still thinking about it," Adrian whispered when we broke the kiss, and I nodded.

He kissed the top of my head. "If you want, I can leave you alone for a while," he said and started to leave, but I shook my head.

"No," I whispered. "It's easier when you're here. The shadows disappear."

"I'll always be here," he whispered back, and I nodded, believing his words.

My brother survived, and he lived a few miles away from us now. He told me he didn't have anywhere else to go anyway, and that he his brotherly duty was to keep an eye on Adrian. "Just in case," he said then. He still says it sometimes.

Carly lives with her mother – my mother – with her husband and her daughter. They lived in the USA, but we visited them every Thanksgiving. Leila was six now, the same age as Mary, and they loved playing with each other.

After visiting Carly and mom, we always visited the Court too. Lissa and Christian were happy with their two children, and they managed to change the Moroi society. Dhampirs weren't just guardians anymore – they could be important for the government, too. The royal Moroi were still kind of on a bigger scale, but they didn't have guardians anymore – everyone was able to protect themselves now.

After passing the law for obligatory self-defense course for all Moroi and dhampirs, Lissa passed other laws, too. She made a whole new school for Spirit users, and they found out so many things in that field. They a cure for the darkness which slightly alters the magic, but it doesn't disable it, and Adrian's taking it for years now. He has no problems with mood changes or depression, thank God.

The witches aren't unknown anymore – Ms. Terwilliger and I demonstrated a couple of things to the Moroi, and after the initial shock of seeing humans who yielded magic, they actually seemed pretty interested in learning several tricks from us.

The Alchemists as an organization don't exist anymore – my sister made sure of it. She made Marcus' idea of _Merry men_ true, and she formed the organization of resistance which eventually overruled the Alchemists. She's head of the organization now, and I'm very proud of her. Her and Neil's son, Adam, is 25 percent dhampir and we still don't have a name for his kind.

Adrian and mine children are 5/8 or 62,5 percent dhampir. It makes them very special, because they're more vampire than human, but still human enough, and their bloodlines hold magic in them, too, so we're all looking for signs of magical ability in them. So far, I've only encountered stronger waves of energy from Josh, but that's probably because his whole birth process was weird, and it left its trail on him.

I'm not sure what's going on with trey and Angeline, but last time I checked, they were in Palm Springs, Angeline working as a waitress in a bar and Trey in his old place at Spencer's. He told me vampire hunters don't exist anymore, since their only source of funds came from the Alchemists and without money, they weren't able to do anything.

Rose and Dimitri live in Court, guarding Lissa and Christian, but they're currently on their vacation so they decided to pay us a visit. They don't have their own children, but they have more than enough. Rose and Adrian still fight about useless things sometimes, and it's adorable.

Jill and Eddie are living across the street, but they basically live in our big house, with our children. Nobody minds, because we're so used to each other that we can't even imagine our lives being any differently.

And where are we, actually?

We're in Capetown, South Africa. The place that's far enough from the memories, but still close enough for us to come back and visit.

Adrian bought us – Josh and me, seven years ago – a house, he painted it yellow from the outside and the inside, and he picked the furniture and everything. He was always tasteful, so the house ended up looking wonderful, but it's still funny to people when they walk by it – there's a yellow house, in the end of the street, in which a crazy family lives. The child is throwing things at the father, and the father is actually catching the things and throwing them back at the child. The mother doesn't even glance at them, since she's so busy reading a book, and the other two children are smudged in motor oil and they're laughing.

Yes, it's a perfect life.

So hours later, I find myself walking along the high cliff with my husband, hand-in-hand, and I realize I'm happy.

"The Cape of the Good Hope," Adrian whispers and I smile.

"The place where we came, without a goal, and then started hoping," I whisper back, turning to look at him.

"And so we end up in an ugly house with four children, living off my money," he says through a chuckle.

"And the garage," I say proudly, though I'm aware I only use it for the Ivashkinator. I never let anything bad happen to the car.

"Yes, the garage," he whispers and kisses me, leaving my whole body tingling afterwards. _This is love_, I think, _This is true love._

And I'm happy, because we can live this way. We lived like that for years, and we finally found a home. We can raise our dhampir children safely, without them being forced to become guardians or anything, without being hunted because of our scandalous, forbidden marriage. We don't have to hide here, because this is a free country.

This is a free world. The sea, the birds, the summer wind ruffling Adrian's hair, and the setting sun prove as much. This is a beautiful world.

But then a thought occurs to me, a terrifying one.

_What if this is all a dream, a reality your mind created after you went crazy, and in the real world you're in a coma? _

_If your eyes weren't open, you wouldn't know the difference between dreaming and waking._


End file.
